Butterfly
by sweeet-as-honey
Summary: Honey is feeling unwell, but doesn't know how to tell Ethan. She thinks she knows what the problem might be, but it's actually more serious than she imagined.
1. Chapter 1

_I know I said I was going to start the sequel to Triangle, but this story is in slightly better shape. I'm not sure when I will start to the Triangle sequel as I already have two stories (including this one) about Ethan having a girlfriend and I don't want it to get confusing/repetitive, but I suppose I'll worry about that once it's ready to be posted!_

 _This story is set some time in the future, though if Ethan or Honey is about to be killed off in the explosions (if they are, please don't tell me), then obviously it's an alternative universe._

* * *

There were only actually three people in the queue, but it had never seemed so long. All Honey wanted was to put her head down on the counter and sleep, but she knew that even if this had been a possibility, sleep wouldn't have come. She smiled at the customer, handed him his change and moved onto the next person with a bright smile and a cheerful voice.

Once the two remaining customers had finally gone, Honey closed her eyes in relief and leaned against the counter for a moment. Another dizzy spell had assaulted her when she'd served the second customer, but Honey was reasonably sure she'd managed to hide it. After all, the person she'd just served was a nurse and she'd almost certainly have picked up on Honey's indisposition if she hadn't hidden it well.

"Anytime soon would be good!"

Honey opened her eyes and found herself looking into the face of another nurse: this one far less friendly. Honey wanted to give some sort of banter in response, but her stomach was hurting and it just seemed like too much. So she muttered an apology instead and got on with her work, only to pause for a moment as she realised her hands were shaking again. She knew she needed to watch that. She'd already spilled one person's drink today.

When another customer entered the shop, all Honey wanted to do was groan out loud, but she couldn't. Firstly because it was unprofessional; secondly because the person who'd just entered was her boyfriend.

Ethan gave her a sweet smile, mouthed the word 'hello' and gave her a little wave. Honey gave him as convincing a smile as she could and turned back to her customer. She wasn't ignoring him, she told herself. She was doing her job. She was usually perfectly capable of talking to one customer whilst serving another, but that didn't mean she had to do that every time. In fact, some people might say it was rude.

"There you are: have a nice day," said Honey as she finally got rid of her customer. She felt another pain in her stomach and her hand went to it automatically, but she managed to smile at Ethan. "Hey, gorgeous. Why aren't you working then?"

"I'm on my break," said Ethan. His whole face was lit up with happiness as he looked at her. He'd already confessed, on numerous occasions, that he could hardly believe Honey was really going out with him, and Honey usually found it really sweet. But right now, she did rather wish he'd get over it. They'd been together for ages now.

"Would you like some coffee?" said Honey.

Ethan looked a bit awkward. "No. Um, well, yes. Please. But that's not actually why I came."

"Why did you come then?" said Honey, an edge of impatience creeping into her voice. She just wanted him to go. The pain in her stomach was back with a vengeance and she was starting to feel queasy and for once in her life, she just wished Ethan would get to the point.

"To ask you to have dinner with me tonight," said Ethan.

"Have you checked with my dad?" said Honey. It was a joke, of course: her way of teasing Ethan for being so adorably old-fashioned as to ask Noel's permission to ask her out.

But Honey was feeling moody and tired and decidedly ill, and the words came out a lot more sharply than she'd intended.

Ethan looked taken-aback. The happy smile slipped from his face, to be replaced by concern. He reached for one of the small hands resting on top of the counter. "Honey, are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I…" Honey stopped. The nausea intensified. "I'm sorry, Ethan, but I'm absolutely desperate for the loo."

She raced off as quickly as she could, but only just made it in time. Too exhausted to stand up, Honey rested her clammy face against the loo seat. She knew she had to go back to Ethan or he'd worry, but she felt dreadful. She'd been feeling like this for a while now, but today was definitely the worst.

Tears filled Honey's eyes, but she managed to blink them away. She couldn't let Ethan see she was upset or he would worry about her and she knew that there were many people in the hospital who felt a lot worse than she did. At least Honey was able to work.

She finally hauled herself to her feet and went to look at herself in the mirror. She looked tired and ill. Her eyes were dull and felt gritty; her hair lacked its usual shine and there was sweat on her brow. Honey washed her hands, rinsed her mouth and carefully splashed cold water on her face. It didn't help. She still looked terrible and she didn't know how Ethan hadn't noticed.

She looked at her watch. Two more hours until her shift ended; two more hours before she could finally go home and even then it wouldn't be easy because she'd have to spend the whole time trying to convince Noel and Big Mac that she was fine. On the positive side, they were both men so noticing things tended not to be one of their talents, but Honey wasn't sure how much longer she could conceal the nausea, stomach cramps and dizziness. Big Mac used to be a paramedic and Noel had worked as a hospital receptionist long enough to know when someone was feeling poorly.

Just for a moment, Honey thought about telling someone she was ill and going home. There was no real reason why she shouldn't. She was perfectly entitled to go home if she wasn't well enough to work.

But it wasn't so easy when your dad and your boyfriend worked in the same place as you and came over for a coffee and a chat several times a day. It wouldn't take Noel or Ethan any time at all to realise she was gone.

Speaking of Ethan, he was probably still standing in the shop, waiting for her. Honey sighed and pushed her hands through her hair, but she knew she had to go back. The longer she waited, the more concerned Ethan was likely to be. After another glance in the mirror, which did nothing to reassure her, Honey returned to the shop.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tanith Panic** , I agree with you - Honey needs to confide in Ethan! She does have a reason for not doing it which will eventually be revealed. Thank you for your review!

 **Paradoxilla** , maybe you do have an inkling! I really hope you'll keep reading to find out if you're right. Thank you for your review.

 **Tato Potato** , I would tell Ethan too, but Honey's specific situation does make it more difficult. You will find out what's making her ill... but not just yet. Thank you for your review!

 **beckyboogle** , thank you so much for your review. I'm really happy you're enjoying it and I hope you'll continue to do so.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. Honey does have a reason for hiding her illness - I hope it will turn out to be a good one! I'm really happy you're enjoying it so far.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I'd rather not say what's wrong with Honey, but you will find out soon. Thank you for your review!

 **lilangel1** , that's really kind of you - I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to everyone who has followed and favourited as well._

* * *

Ethan looked concerned when he saw Honey. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked her gently.

"Why wouldn't I be?" said Honey.

Ethan looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, you were quite a long time."

Honey hugged him, partly so she wouldn't have to look into his eyes. "Have you seen the queues in the Ladies'?"

"No. I have to say I haven't," admitted Ethan with an awkward laugh.

"Seriously, it was nearly stretching out the door," said Honey, quite untruthfully. There hadn't been a queue at all, which had been just as well considering the urgency of her situation. "Then just when it was my turn, this girl comes running in and she looked greener than a frog so I had to let her go ahead of me, didn't I?"

"Of course you did," said Ethan, and hugged her tightly. "I should have known it was something like that. You're so considerate, Honey. I love you."

Honey gave him a quick kiss. "I'll make your coffee, sweetheart." She went behind the counter, desperate for Ethan to go so she could get herself a bottle of water to wash away the taste that still lingered in her mouth.

Ethan smiled as he watched her work. "So is it a yes or a no?"

Honey stopped and turned to look at him. "A yes or a no to what?"

"To coming out with me tonight," said Ethan.

"Oh… yes," said Honey. She put Ethan's cup down and clenched her hands together to try to stop them from shaking. "That sounds lovely."

Ethan smiled. "Aren't you going to ask where we're going?"

"No point, is there?" said Honey, as she poured Ethan's coffee. "I know you won't tell me."

Ethan sounded surprised. "But you usually like to try to guess. Honey, are you sure you're all right?"

"Never better, as you would say." Honey smiled at him: at his beautiful brown eyes; the glasses that framed them so perfectly; the little nose; the lips which Honey knew for a fact were very soft…

…and in that moment, she forgot all about how ill she felt.

The concern fell away from Ethan's face and he smiled back at her. "I finish an hour later than you today so don't worry about waiting for me after work. I'll come and pick you up from your flat."

"Yeah, fine," said Honey. "I'll wear my new dress." She hoped Ethan would like it. He did seem to like unrevealing dresses, which would have worried her from any other man, but Ethan was just Ethan.

But she hoped he might make an exception for this dress.

"I'm looking forward to seeing it," said Ethan. "But you know I'd think you look beautiful in a binbag."

"Might have to take you up on that one day," said Honey. She put his coffee onto the table in front of him.

"Perhaps you will." Ethan put the coffee up on the higher part of the counter so he wouldn't knock it when he leaned over to kiss her.

After the kiss, Honey felt nothing but happiness. She was with Ethan and he loved her. "Either way, I don't think I'll be wearing it for that long," she said cheekily, and waited for Ethan's blush.

He didn't blush. He just looked confused. "Wear what for long?"

"The binbag," said Honey.

"Oh, right. Yes. Of course." Ethan smiled. "I'm sure you'll look lovely."

Honey laughed. "I seriously can't believe you fantasise about me in a binbag."

"Well, I wouldn't quite say 'fantasise'," said Ethan.

"What do you fantasise about then?" said Honey.

"Breaks that don't end just as soon as I've really started to enjoy them," said Ethan. He kissed her again and picked up his coffee. "I'd better go and drink this."

"Oh, stay here and drink it if you like," said Honey. "There's no-one else here."

Ethan shook his head and gave a little smile. He gave her one last kiss. "I'll see you after work, darling."

"Can't wait!" Honey called after him.

* * *

Honey chose a silver nail varnish and tried to persuade herself she was excited about going out with Ethan. She loved Ethan. He was lovely. He was kind, sweet and a real gentleman. He said really funny things and sometimes it wasn't even an accident. He cared about her and tried to do the things she wanted. He spent a lot of time trying to think of surprises to make her happy – like tonight's date. And he always made sure she had a lovely time.

Honey hadn't had a lovely time on their last date, but that hadn't been Ethan's fault. Honey had been in a funny mood that day and everything had annoyed her. She'd thought her period must be due, but it hadn't come so obviously that wasn't it. It was probably just one of those weird days everyone had sometimes.

Honey tried to unscrew the top of her nail varnish, but it was stuck fast. She felt a surge of annoyance that shocked her – she hardly ever got annoyed – and took a few deep breaths, telling herself to calm down. It was only a bottle of nail varnish. If she couldn't open it, she was sure Noel would do it for her.

After trying a few more times, Honey went into the living room and held out her nail varnish. "You couldn't open this for me, could you?"

He smiled and said he'd do his best. In a few moments, it was done.

"Thanks, Dad," said Honey.

"You're welcome, Honey." Noel looked her up and down and grinned. "You're not going out dressed like that!"

"Why? What's wrong with it?" said Honey sharply.

Noel looked a bit surprised, then he put a reassuring hand on her arm. "It's okay. I'm just teasing you. You look beautiful."

"Thank you," said Honey a bit guiltily. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. Maybe I'm a bit nervous."

"You've got nothing to be nervous about," said Noel. "Not with Ethan." He hesitated and looked a bit uncomfortable. "But of course, if there is anything you want to… you know… talk to someone about…"

Honey appreciated the gesture, but she could also see his reluctance. He wanted to be a good dad, but how many dads were comfortable discussing their daughter's personal problems with them? She reached over and gave him a hug. "I'm fine. I need to go and do my nails before Ethan gets here."

"Okay." Noel smiled at her. "I'm glad you're okay."

Honey smiled back and returned to her room with the opened pot of nail varnish.


	3. Chapter 3

**beckyboogle** , thank you for your review. Here is the next chapter - I hope you enjoy it!

 **ETWentHome** , I'm quite surprised by how much I'm enjoying writing about Honey and Noel - I'm sure there will be more scenes with the two of them! Thank you for your review.

 **Paradoxilla** , thank you for your review. This chapter won't necessarily make you feel any less worried about Honey, but I hope you enjoy it!

 **Tanith Panic** , other readers might have guessed what's wrong with Honey after the first chapter, but that doesn't mean any of them are right! Thank you for your review and I'm really happy you're enjoying it.

 **Tato Potato** , that is definitely a possibility considering Honey's symptoms! Thank you so much - I'm really happy you're enjoying the story.

* * *

Honey sat down at the little table and looked into the rather small, cheap-looking and far from pretty mirror Noel had picked up from a charity shop and given to her when she'd moved in. He'd said it wasn't much and she was welcome to replace it if it she didn't like it, but Honey had been so touched by the gesture, she resolved she would never replace it (though there were times when the light was so bad and her make-up so detailed, she had to use the bathroom mirror instead).

Honey rested her left hand on the table and dipped the brush in the pot of nail varnish. She put a pale pink stripe down the middle of her thumb nail and frowned as she saw her hand was shaking again. She relaxed her right hand for a moment and then tried again. The next stripe went on much more smoothly and she smiled in relief, but as soon as she got to her ring finger, she was seized with another violent tremor and ended up with a splash of pink across her finger.

Honey muttered a mildly rude word and wiped most of it away with a tissue, but a stain still remained. She found her nail varnish remover and cleaned it off, but her hand was still shaking. She sighed to herself, knowing it would be even worse when she tried to paint her right hand and she was right. She had to stop after every finger and use the nail varnish remover again.

She finished wiping varnish from her middle finger and tried to put the tissue down, but realised with horror that it was stuck to her fingers. The varnish on her left hand couldn't have been quite dry and now she'd ruined it.

Honey knocked the bottle over in a burst of anger and watched as a little pool of pink varnish formed on the table. Her eyes filled with tears. Why couldn't something just go right? She'd had the most awful day and she'd felt ill for most of it and thrown up twice and now she couldn't even paint her nails properly.

The doorbell rang and Honey was filled with panic. She wasn't ready. She only had four nails that were properly painted and she was practically in tears. She'd just have to tell Ethan she didn't want to go. He would understand. He wouldn't get angry, anyway. He probably would worry and she tried her best to avoid worrying him, but it just couldn't be helped. She would just tell him she was ill and then he would go away and leave her alone.

There was a knock at Honey's door. "Honey? Ethan's here. Are you ready, love?"

Honey swallowed hard. "Not quite yet. Could you look after Ethan for me till I'm ready?"

"Sure. No problem," said Noel easily.

"Thanks," said Honey.

She managed to dab her tears away without disturbing her make-up and this small triumph restored her equilibrium slightly. She could do this. She'd have to be very careful if she wanted to avoid another nail varnish disaster, but she could do it. A little bit of trembling was nothing to get upset about: she was obviously just hungry. And that was a good thing considering the date was almost certain to include dinner.

She cleaned up the bit of nail varnish that had spilled onto the table and set to work again.

It took more than a slight nail disaster to bring Honey down.

* * *

All Ethan could was stare.

He knew Honey was beautiful. He'd noticed that a long time ago. But every outfit she owned made her beautiful in a different way and just when he thought she couldn't surprise him with her beauty again, it happened.

The dress, which was black, managed to be revealing and not revealing at the same time. The neckline was high and the skirt floated down to her knees, but there were panels cut out at the sides of the dress, revealing the soft, smooth skin that almost but not quite showed off the curves of Honey's hips. Her bare arms were decorated with bangles and her high-heeled sandals had a kind of criss-cross pattern. The doctor part of Ethan's brain couldn't help thinking that they probably weren't very good for her feet, but the boyfriend part was thinking the effect was stunning.

"Are you going to say something or are you just going to gawp at me all night?" said Honey.

Ethan smiled. He was glad to hear Honey teasing him. He'd been worried about her earlier when he'd gone to buy coffee from her. She just hadn't seemed quite herself, but perhaps that could be explained by her being desperate for the loo and then slightly embarrassed about it afterwards. Ethan could understand that only too well. He remembered, as an F1, being too shy to ask to go to the loo before an emergency procedure. The procedure had taken longer than expected and Ethan had become very uncomfortable…

No, that wasn't the kind of thing he should even be thinking about in front of Honey!

Honey took a step closer to him. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," said Ethan.

"You must be thinking something," said Honey. "You're blushing!"

Ethan tried to think of something he might have been thinking if he hadn't got distracted. "I was thinking about how beautiful you are."

"And about how you want to pounce later?" said Honey knowingly.

Ethan felt himself blushing even more. Noel had left the two of them alone, but it wasn't impossible he could hear every word. "No. Of course not."

"Shame," said Honey.

"Yes," said Ethan with more feeling than he'd intended. He wasn't comfortable with the idea of 'pouncing' in Honey's father's home and would only do it in his own home if Cal was out and not likely to return. Ethan looked at Honey again and felt concerned for her. It was quite a warm evening so black clothes weren't ideal. "Are you sure you're not hot in that dress?"

Honey smiled. "I think it's up to you to decide if I'm hot." She put one hand on her hip and bent her knee at an angle which Ethan always found fascinating for some reason.

"I…" Ethan wasn't quite sure what had happened to the conversation. This kind of thing happened quite a lot with Honey, but not usually when her dad was in the next room. "I'm just a bit concerned you might get overheated."

"If getting overheated was a problem for me," said Honey, "I wouldn't be going out with you, would I?"

Ethan decided that was probably a compliment. He didn't really understand it, but Honey definitely looked happy. That meant he was happy too. In a confused sort of way. "It's just it's quite dangerous to become overheated. You'll have to be very careful about keeping hydrated. You'll have to make sure you have enough to drink."

Honey looked coy. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Dr Hardy?"

"No, I didn't mean alcohol," said Ethan. "Alcohol actually makes dehydration worse so that's the last thing you should be…" He stopped when he saw the look on her face. "I've misunderstood something, haven't I? Sorry. I'm still not very good at this."

Honey kissed her finger and pressed it against his lips. "You're perfect, Ethan. I'm not going to get too hot in this dress so stop worrying. You're my boyfriend tonight, not my doctor."

"Right. Yes. Of course. Sorry," said Ethan. "I must have been spending too much time in the ED. Perhaps I need a holiday."

Another idea crept into his mind. He'd always gone on holiday alone, but he couldn't help thinking it would be lovely to take Honey with him. Just the two of them exploring the countryside together. Honey had never seemed particularly interested in the countryside or in walking, but perhaps they could work out some sort of compromise.

He waited eagerly for her response to the holiday idea.

"Perhaps you do need a holiday," said Honey, but he had the strangest feeling that her mind was elsewhere.


	4. Chapter 4

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. I was going to update sooner, but the site didn't let me! Luckily everything seems fine now. I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I really am very happy you're enjoying it so much! I hope I'll be able to answer some of your questions soon.

 **Paradoxilla** , I'm writing Chapter 9 now and you'll definitely know what's wrong with Honey by then. ! I hope that's not too long to wait. Thank you for your review.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , thank you for your review. I love Ethan's awkwardness and I didn't think it would disappear completely, even with Honey. Thank you for saying I wrote it well - that means a lot.

 **CBloom2** , if she is pregnant, it might be Ethan's or it might not! It could be Cal's... or Charlie's... The only thing I can confirm is that if she is pregnant, it's definitely not Noel's because I couldn't write that. Thank you for your review.

 **Guest** , thank you, that's really kind of you! I find it difficult to update more often because of all the other stories I'm writing. I am going to try to update every 3 days from now on, as long as there are no more server problems!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review - and for your very kind words. I can never get any of my make-up to behave, though that might be because I'm usually trying to do several things at once, and mostly failing at all of them!

* * *

"Honey? Are you all right?" said Ethan.

Honey smiled and hugged him. "Of course I am. I'm just hungry."

"For… food?" said Ethan, just to make sure.

"What else could I be hungry for?" said Honey with a coy smile.

Ethan decided not to answer that. "Shall we go then?"

"Good idea," said Honey. She called goodbye to Noel and took Ethan's hand. As soon as they were outside, she turned to him. "Okay. My dad definitely can't hear us now. Do I look hot or not? And I don't mean hot in the 'not cold' way."

" _Honey_!" gasped Ethan, as he looked around to check that no-one had heard, but it really seemed to be just the two of them standing in the street. He still felt a bit awkward and embarrassed. He would rather tell Honey she looked beautiful or magnificent or incredible, but if Honey wanted him to say hot, then he would say it. "I've never seen anyone as hot as you."

Ethan held Honey's hand as they walked towards the restaurant, not for the first time marvelling at how easily she managed to walk in such vertiginous shoes. "Okay, we'll cross the road here, I think."

"Are we nearly there yet?" said Honey. She sounded like an excited child.

"Very nearly," said Ethan. He checked the road was clear and they walked across it. There were parked cars lining the sides of the roads so he kept a close eye on them in case one of them suddenly drove away without warning.

At his side, Honey gave a soft gasp and seemed to stumble.

"Are you all right?" Ethan put his arm around her and quickly got her over the road. "What's wrong, Honey?"

"I... I tripped over my shoes a bit."

Ethan peered at her anxiously. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"No, I'm fine," said Honey. She lifted her head and gave him a reassuring smile. "And so are my shoes, so don't you go telling me to wear flats next time!"

Ethan smiled back. "I wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

Honey sat stiffly in her chair and waited for the food to arrive. She'd had a snack when she arrived home from work because she'd felt ready to faint from hunger, but now she felt even worse. A mist swam across her eyes and for a horrible moment she thought she was going to faint on the table, but to her relief, it passed.

"Are you all right?" said Ethan.

He was watching her across the table, his eyes concerned behind his glasses. Honey smiled. She didn't think she'd ever seen anyone with a more handsome face than Ethan, but his glasses actually complemented his features and didn't hide his gorgeous brown eyes (and it was a good thing they didn't or Honey would have taken them off him at every opportunity).

"I'm fine," said Honey. She considered and decided she might as well tell Ethan the truth. She was spending so much time lying to him. "I'm just really hungry."

Ethan smiled at her fondly. "I do love how honest you are, Honey. A lot of girls wouldn't admit to something like that. At least, I don't think so. I don't actually know very much about girls. But you always say exactly what you're thinking and I love that."

Honey couldn't look at him, so she looked around the restaurant in search of a waiter. "Is that our waiter over there, Ethan?"

Ethan twisted round in his seat to look. "I think so. He's wearing the right clothes."

"They're all dressed the same!" said Honey.

"Oh. Yes," said Ethan after a moment or two. "I suppose they are."

But Ethan turned out to be right, and soon Honey was tucking in to a delicious spicy dish. It did make her eyes water a little bit, which worried Ethan, but he relaxed again when she told him it was just the food. Honey ate her dinner, enjoying the feeling of the warmth spreading through her whole body, or so it felt. It was so lovely to be sitting here with Ethan. The problems she'd experienced at work seemed a long way away. What did anything matter except the present moment?

Honey knew that wasn't really true, but she was happy and just slightly giggly from the wine Ethan had chosen. She pushed the future right out of her mind and concentrated on the present moment.

It worked until reality intruded. A sharp, stabbing pain in Honey's stomach. She was unable to suppress a gasp, but Ethan was looking at his plate and didn't seem to have noticed. She speared another mouthful of food with her fork, but her stomach was churning and she knew she couldn't stay here. With a whispered apology that she wasn't entirely sure Ethan had caught, she ran off to the loos and was horrified to find there was a queue. All Honey could do was run to one of the available sinks and vomit into it.

There were cries of shock and disgust, followed by the squeaking of the door hinges. When Honey looked up and reached for a paper towel to wipe her mouth, she wasn't surprised to see that half the queue had disappeared. Honey started to wash the sink as best she could, feeling tears running down her cheeks. It was no good. She couldn't pretend anymore. She would have to tell Ethan.

Then she caught herself. Of course she couldn't tell Ethan. She would have to tell someone else. Someone she could trust. Someone who could give her advice.

She felt so alone. None of the other diners offered to help her and Honey didn't dare ask. She wiped her tears on another paper towel, which she then wet slightly and dabbed across her clammy forehead. She stood and looked in the mirror and hated what she saw. A stupid, careless, disgusting liar who wasn't nearly good enough for Ethan.

A fresh wave of misery overcame her and, for at least the fifth time that day, she burst into tears.

* * *

Ethan was worried. Really worried. Honey hadn't been gone long, but he was sure that even if he hadn't been a doctor, he would have known that something was wrong. Honey had been fine at first, even if she had looked a little tense when they were waiting for the meal, but when the meal had first arrived, she'd seemed to be enjoying it, even though it was making her eyes water more than he would have expected.

And then she'd just left without a word of explanation.

Ethan saw a waiter passing the table and spoke quickly. "Excuse me." No response. Ethan spoke again, more loudly, and this time the waiter turned to face him.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Hello. Um, thank you for stopping," said Ethan. "I was just wondering whether you had any lady waiters."

The waiter gave him a hard stare. "Waitresses," he corrected Ethan. "The word is waitresses."

"Oh, yes, of course it is," said Ethan, feeling a bit silly. "Do you have any waitresses?"

The stare became a glare. "We are all here to serve food, sir. Waiters and waitresses: that is why we are here. If you want to flirt, you should bring a date."

"Oh! Oh, good heavens, no: I don't want a lady waiter to flirt with," said Ethan, horrified by how he must have sounded.

"Waitress!" almost barked the waiter.

"A waitress, yes: sorry. It's just that my, my date has disappeared and I'm a bit worried about her, but the place she's gone is a place where I can't really follow, and I was wondering whether a lady waiter, I mean a waitress, might possibly be able to go and see if she's all right?"

"The waitresses are working!" said the waiter. "They have no time to check up on your girlfriends. There are ladies all over the restaurant. If you want someone to go and speak to your girlfriend for you, ask one of them."

Ethan sighed and rested his chin on his hands. He didn't want to bother any of the other diners, but if Honey didn't come out soon, he might have to.


	5. Chapter 5

**beckyboogle** , thank you for your review. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

 **Paradoxilla** , I'm glad I'm keeping you guessing, though I hope it won't become annoying! Thank you for your review - I'm really happy you're enjoying it.

 **Tato Potato** , I'm glad you enjoyed Ethan and his lady waiters. I love awkward Ethan! Thank you for your review. Appendicitis is a possibility!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. Between the embarrassment and the poor service, I don't think Honey and Ethan will be coming back to this restaurant! I think the waiter got it into his head that Ethan was making trouble and decided not to stand for any nonsense, but he could have been more professional about it.

 **AVMabs** , I didn't have all Honey's symptoms, but it is mostly based on my experiences. Thank you for your review - it's really lovely that you're getting something positive from reading the story. I'm also glad you have sympathy for Ethan - it's worse for Honey, but Ethan's having a bad time too!

* * *

"I'm sorry," said Honey, tears running down her face as she watched the cleaner hard at work scrubbing the sink.

The cleaner didn't answer. She'd already suggested in very poor English that Honey went home, but other than that she'd completely ignored her. Honey wanted to go home more than anything, but she didn't see how she could. She was on a date with Ethan and she should be enjoying herself and making sure he had a good time too.

Honey heard the door open again and turned away. The diners that had come in had mostly ignored her: too wrapped up in themselves to care about the girl breaking down in the corner. Some had shown concern, but Honey had assured them she would be okay in a minute and just needed some time on her own.

She was beginning to regret it now. She'd never felt so alone.

"Honey? Is that you?" said a voice.

Honey turned slowly. "Hi, Lily."

"What's wrong?" said Lily. "Are you with Ethan? What's happened?"

For some reason, that made Honey cry even more. "Yes, I am with Ethan, but…" She couldn't say the rest.

"You had a fight with Ethan?" said Lily.

Honey sniffled into her paper towel.

"Here." Lily gave her a tissue from her handbag. "It is softer on the face. If you have had a fight with Ethan, perhaps you should go home. It is good to have space from someone after an argument."

"We didn't have an argument," said Honey as she tried to stop crying.

"What happened then?" said Lily.

Her voice sounded abrupt and unfriendly, but Honey knew that was just her way and didn't take offence. "I'm not feeling very well. I think I have a bug or something. I just threw up in the sink."

Lily's eyes narrowed. "A bug. You think that's what it is?"

"I don't know," whispered Honey. "It might be something else."

Lily looked at her assessingly, her eyes travelling over Honey's face. "There are many conditions that can cause vomiting."

Honey's eyes filled with tears again. "I don't know what to do."

"I think we should tell Ethan you have a bug," said Lily after a moment's thought. "Then he can take you home and you can sleep. If you don't feel better tomorrow, take the day off work."

"But what if it's not a bug?" said Honey.

Lily thought for a moment. "I will come and see you tomorrow at lunchtime. We will discuss possibilities then."

"I can't tell Ethan," whispered Honey.

"That is no problem," said Lily. "Tonight, tell Ethan you have a bug and you want to go home and sleep. Tomorrow, I will come and see you at lunchtime. We will talk about what could be wrong and make a plan."

Honey gave a little sob, but it was mostly just relief. She put her arms around Lily. "Thank you, Lily. I'm so glad you're here. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Lily's body was rigid in Honey's arms, but just as Honey was thinking she ought to let go, she felt Lily hugging her. "I am happy to help, Honey. Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"I'm sorry for being so emotional," said Honey.

"It sounds like you have a lot to deal with now," said Lily. "That would make most people emotional."

Honey let go of Lily and wiped her tears. "I'd better let you go back to your date."

"Only if you're all right," said Lily.

"I'll be fine," said Honey. "I need to go and find Ethan and go home. I just hope he wouldn't be annoyed with me."

"I have only ever seen Ethan annoyed with his brother," said Lily. "You are not his brother, so I think you have no need to worry."

Honey smiled. "Thanks, Lily. Thank you so much. You've helped a lot." Lily's sympathy wasn't the most conventionally-expressed, but Honey appreciated it all the same. Everyone was different, after all, and it was good to have someone so calm and clear-sighted. Honey was getting carried away by her emotions so she'd needed Lily's steadying influence.

"I am always here if you need help," said Lily.

* * *

Ethan stopped the car right outside the flat. "Don't get out yet, Honey. I'll help you inside." The doctor part of his mind knew there was no real need, but as a boyfriend, he was worried to death about Honey and just wanted her to be okay. He was so relieved and grateful Lily had been at the restaurant that night. He hadn't seen her, but he told himself he mustn't forget to thank her tomorrow.

He was also relieved that Lily had shown friendliness and support towards Honey. Ethan still had a bit of trouble believing Lily had been attracted to him, but there was no denying their friendship had cooled off a bit since he'd got together with Honey. The situation had improved between them over the last couple of months, but Ethan had the feeling Lily wasn't usually as polite to his girlfriend as she was to him.

"Ethan, it's only a bug!" Honey said, quite sharply. "I do still know how to stand up, you know!"

"Humour me, sweetheart?" said Ethan softly. "I want to make it up to you for not realising before. I should have realised you weren't well and I'm so sorry."

Honey closed her eyes. "Ethan, you've already said that fifteen million times and I've told you it's all right fifteen million times. When are you going to get the message?"

"Sorry," said Ethan, and caught the stricken look in Honey's eyes.

"Ethan, I didn't mean… it's nice of you to worry about me. I…"

"Honey, don't worry. You're not well." Ethan held her hand and kissed her damp forehead. "Don't worry about me, darling. Just think about getting better." He went to the other side of the car and helped her out. She leaned against him heavily.

He kept his arms around Honey as she tried to unlock the door, but her hand was shaking.

"Here. Let me." Ethan gently took the key from her hand and unlocked the door.

"You're home early!" called out Noel.

Ethan kissed Honey's forehead again. "Just go to bed, sweetheart. I'll explain to your dad, then I'll come and see you quickly before I go. I won't stay long: you need to rest."

Honey nodded her head, her eyes tear-filled again. Ethan frowned slightly: she'd probably cried as much tonight as in the rest of their relationship put together. She went to her room and Ethan went to find Noel. As a doctor, he'd broken the news of a daughter's indisposition to a lot of fathers, but he realised it was a bit different when the daughter was his girlfriend.


	6. Chapter 6

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. It was nice to write about a kind, supportive Lily. I do think she's a nice person, but like a lot of people who struggle to socialise, she's not well-liked.

 **beckboogle** , to be honest, I haven't decided if Lily is up to something or not! I don't want to make her into a villain, but her feelings for Ethan are so strong, she could end up doing something inadvisable. Thank you for your review!

 **Tato Potato** , Ethan won't let it be for long - Honey has asked him not to treat her as a patient, but I can't see Ethan going along with that forever! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I haven't written about Ethan's explanation to Noel, but I regret that now as it would be an interesting scene! I'll have to include him in some of the later scenes. Thank you for your review!

* * *

Ethan picked up the top file and had another look at it. He was annoyed and slightly alarmed to discover the name was unfamiliar to him. He'd already seen the patient so he should know his name. It only proved how distracted he was today. He was having trouble thinking of anything but Honey.

But it had to stop. He was at work, so he had to focus. And he would.

He walked towards the waiting room.

"Ethan?" Cal came after him.

"I'm busy," said Ethan shortly.

"Then I'm sure the last thing you want to do is see my patients as well as your own!" said Cal.

Ethan glared at him. It was true that Cal hadn't asked him to do anything like that for ages, but that did not mean Ethan owed him a favour. "For goodness' sake, Caleb! You'll never be a consultant if you spend half your working hours on booty calls!"

He was about to walk away, but the hurt look on Cal's face made him stop. "Ethan, I didn't mean… when did I say anything about a booty call? You know I'm not like that anymore."

"Then why are you trying to give me your patients?" said Ethan.

"I'm not," said Cal. "I was just trying to tell you you took the wrong file. That one's my patient. This is yours."

Ethan looked blankly at the file Cal held out to him. He took it and opened it. This time, the name was familiar. He handed the file he was holding to Cal, then sighed and pushed his hand through his hair. "Thanks, Cal. Sorry."

"Ethan…" Cal put his arm around him and only made a little bit of a face when Ethan shrugged him off. "I get that you're worried about Honey. I'm sure I would be too if I had a girlfriend. But you've got to focus. It's only a stomach bug."

"But what if it isn't?" said Ethan.

"If she's not better in a few days, we can run some tests," said Cal. "But try not to worry. Honey works in a hospital so she's going to be dealing with ill people. They go into the shop with their germy hands and give her money. Once she's been working here a while, her immune system should get used to it, but for now, she is going to pick up viruses and things."

Ethan nodded. He knew Cal was right, but it didn't really make him any happier. Besides, Honey had been back for a few months now and he hadn't been aware of her being susceptible to illness.

Cal patted Ethan's shoulder. "I'll tell you what. You go and have a break and phone Honey. I'll see to some of your patients for you. I probably still owe you."

"Thanks," said Ethan, really touched. "I do appreciate the thought, but I couldn't let you do that." He smiled. "I'll never be a consultant if I spend half my working hours on booty phone calls!"

* * *

Honey managed to smile as she let Lily into the flat. "Hey, Lily. Thanks for coming over. I do feel a bit better today, but I'm still not right."

"Then I hope I can help to make things right," said Lily. She declined Honey's offer of a drink and sat on the sofa beside her. "Now. I would like you to tell me all your symptoms."

Honey felt tears threatening to fill her eyes and blinked hard. "I don't need to tell you, Lily. I know what's wrong."

"You are not a doctor, Honey," said Lily, a bit severely. "It's up to me to make the diagnosis." Her voice softened. "But please tell me your concern."

"I think I'm pregnant," said Honey.

Lily didn't look surprised. "Please tell me why you think that."

"I'm being sick all the time, aren't I?" said Honey. "And I feel so tired and I'm really emotional and I haven't had my period for about two months."

"Those are certainly symptoms of pregnancy," said Lily cautiously. "Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

Honey shook her head. "I'm scared, Lily."

"There is no reason to be scared," said Lily. "Having a child is a natural part of a relationship and I'm sure Ethan will be a very good father."

Honey burst into tears.

"What is it?" said Lily. She put her arm awkwardly around Honey's shoulder. "Are you saying that Ethan is not the father?"

Honey was so shocked, she almost stopped crying. "Of course Ethan's the father! What kind of girl do you think I am?"

She thought Lily might have sighed. "If Ethan is the father, then you have no reason to worry."

Honey started sobbing again.

Lily patted her shoulder. "Come on, Honey. Whatever is on your mind, you can tell me. I'm your friend and Ethan's friend. I care about you both."

Honey took a deep breath and admitted the terrible truth. "Ethan doesn't want children."

She could tell her reply had shocked Lily. "How do you know this?"

"Well, we were…" Honey stopped, embarrassed. "We were about to… you know."

Lily didn't flinch, but Honey had the feeling that had been an effort.

"Sorry: I know this isn't the kind of thing you want to know about," said Honey awkwardly. "But I told him I was on the pill as we weren't ready for babies quite yet and Ethan laughed and said he was barely more than a baby himself and he didn't think he'd be ready for a baby for at least another five years…" Honey began to sob again. "It didn't bother me at the time. I thought he was joking. But the more I think about it, the more I think he probably meant it."

Lily kept her arm around Honey. "I can see why you're upset. You're right that Ethan could have been joking and a lot of people who don't want children find they feel completely different when a child is on the way. But it's not always like that."

"I just don't know what to do," wept Honey. "I don't want to force him into anything. I know that if I'll tell him, he'll support me. This is Ethan. But I feel terrible that I've put him in this position."

"Did you forget to take your pill?" asked Lily.

Honey shook her head. "No, I always remembered to take it. But then I had this stomach bug and I was sick not long after I took the pill. Then I saw Ethan the day after. So the pill might not have done its job, mightn't it?"

"It's possible," said Lily. "Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

Honey shook her head. "I did go to buy one. I went a few times. But I was too scared."

"It doesn't matter," said Lily. "Those tests can give a false positive and you need a doctor to confirm the pregnancy so I feel those tests are a waste of money. If you'd like to come to the ED, I'd be happy to do the test for you or you could go to your GP if you prefer."

"If I went to the GP, would you come with me?" sniffed Honey.

Lily looked surprised, but then she nodded. "Of course I will. It would have to fit in with my work schedule, but I have that on my phone so we can make the appointment now."

"Thanks, Lily," said Honey gratefully.

"You're welcome," said Lily. "But assuming that the test is just a formality, we need to consider your options. If Ethan doesn't want a baby, you could look after it on your own, or with your dad's help."

Honey shook her head. "I couldn't ask my dad to do that. But I couldn't do it on my own either."

"Then there's adoption," said Lily, as Honey sat beside her again.

Honey felt her insides clenching. To have a baby, even a baby she didn't want, and give it away seemed impossible.

"Ethan might object, but unless he is married to you, he has no legal claim on the baby," said Lily.

"I suppose," said Honey uncertainly.

"Or there is abortion," said Lily briskly. "Of course, you might not consider this an option at all. Many people would not, but it is not my job to judge. My job is to give you information. With an abortion, Ethan would never have to know. There would be no pressure. But it can hit the mother very hard emotionally."

Even the thought of it made Honey start sobbing again, but she knew Lily was right. It was the only way to avoid putting pressure on Ethan. "I don't think I could do that, Lily. But I can't do the other options either."

Lily hugged her again. "It's all right, Honey. I know it's too early for you to make a decision now. We will make the appointment with your GP together and then, when it's confirmed, you can make your decision. It's not something you can rush into. But I will support you, of course. You will not be alone."


	7. Chapter 7

**Paradoxilla** , a plot twist? Me? I suppose it is just about possible I might do that... Thank you for your review - I'm really happy you're still enjoying it.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. There is a lot about Lily in this next chapter, so I hope you enjoy it.

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I'm really happy you're enjoying it so much.

 **Tanith Panic** , you'll find out some of the answers in this chapter! I agree that Honey doesn't seem the type to have a termination, but she is pretty desperate. Thank you for your review.

 **Tato Potato** , Ethan will find out soon - and you'll find out just how supportive he is! Cal and Noel will feature in the upcoming chapters. Thank you for your review!

* * *

Ethan could tell Lily was distracted.

Part of the reason why it made such an impression on him was because he was so unusual. Lily was usually focused almost to the point of obsession. She didn't let anyone distract her from anything, yet here she was, speaking to a patient and saying all the right things, whilst giving Ethan the impression that her thoughts were miles away.

This was only confirmed when Lily said the wrong thing. She realised at once and corrected herself before Ethan could decide whether or not he should do it for her, but even that was unusual for Lily.

As soon as they'd left the patient, Ethan spoke to her. "Lily, are you all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be all right?" said Lily testily.

Ethan hesitated, wondering whether he should proceed or not. Lily was a private person and wouldn't want him to interfere, but he couldn't help thinking something quite serious must be wrong. "You just seem a little bit distracted and it's not like you. I just wanted to check that everything was all right."

"I have… a dilemma," admitted Lily in a low voice.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" said Ethan.

"I have been given some personal information," said Lily. "I think someone else has the right to know. Legally, they do not have the right to know, but morally, I don't like to keep this person in the dark."

Ethan spoke sympathetically. "I do understand, Lily. Doctors do sometimes find themselves in that sort of situation. I tend to work on the principle that it's never wrong to follow the rules, but at the same time, our patients are individuals and they don't always need the same thing."

"Normally, I would agree with you," said Lily. "I always follow the rules very closely. But this time, I am concerned that someone could end up hurt. I don't want to see that happen."

Ethan tried to hide his surprise. "It sounds like you care about this person a lot."

Lily looked at him, her eyes filled with warring emotions. "I do care about this person: yes."

Ethan wondered what he should do. If Lily knew the people involved, there was a chance he did too. His professional instincts were telling him it would be better for him not to get involved.

But Lily was clearly in agonies over this and he didn't want her to suffer alone. "All right. I think the best way to proceed might be if you were to explain the situation to me without telling me the names of the people involved. Then I can give you my professional and unbiased opinion."

Lily's face flooded with relief and gratitude, though only for a moment. In seconds, she was again the cool, calm Dr Chao. "Thank you, Ethan. That would be very helpful."

"Then I would suggest we meet for lunch," said Ethan. "I was supposed to be going to see Honey, but I'm sure she would understand, and I have to say she didn't seem terribly keen on the idea of seeing me when I suggested it earlier."

"Sometimes people want to be alone when they're unwell," said Lily.

Ethan nodded. "Yes. Of course they do – though in Honey's case, she was simply worried that I might catch whatever she's got." He smiled dreamily. "Honey's very caring."

"I know she is," said Lily.

Ethan heard a slight tension in her voice and guiltily remembered that Lily had liked him at one time. Perhaps she still did, unlikely as it seemed. "So it's agreed. I'll meet you at lunchtime. We can find somewhere where we're not likely to be disturbed and you can explain the situation to me. I can't promise I'll be able to help, but I'll certainly do my best."

"Thank you," said Lily, and for once it wasn't an automatic reaction: an acknowledgement of his words. This time, Lily sounded genuinely grateful.

* * *

Ethan and Lily sat on the bed in the on-call room, each with a plate of salad and some coffee, which Ethan knew wouldn't taste as nice as the coffee made by Honey.

"Shall we eat first?" said Lily stiffly.

"No. Let's talk first," said Ethan, who could sense her agitation. Not that Lily actually seemed agitated: more slightly on edge. But as this was Lily, he didn't doubt that it concealed a far stronger emotion. "Tell me what's wrong, Lily."

Lily had some coffee and looked away from Ethan. "A girl I know has discovered she is pregnant. She knows that her boyfriend doesn't want children as he has told her that. She is considering abortion."

"Without telling the boyfriend?" said Ethan. He felt a slight frisson of foreboding. It was the girl's right, of course, but he could quite understand why Lily found the situation disquieting.

Lily nodded, still without looking at Ethan. "It is not definite. She is also considering adoption. But she is quite sure the boyfriend doesn't want a child."

"Has she discussed it with him?" asked Ethan. "He might feel differently if he actually finds himself in the situation. Or their relationship might have progressed it since they discussed it and his feelings about children could have changed."

"I have told her this," said Lily. "I tried not to pressure her one way or the other. She was asking me as a doctor as well as a friend. I tried to let her know the options, together with the pros and cons, without influencing her."

"It sounds like you did the right thing to me," said Ethan.

Lily sighed. "I know I did the right thing. Professionally at least. But I am also a friend of the baby's father and I feel some loyalty to him. I feel he deserves to know. I don't like the idea that his girlfriend is having his baby and he has no idea; that he might never know."

"I can understand that," said Ethan. "I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same in your position, Lily. You did do the right thing professionally, but it's very difficult to have a professional relationship with a friend. You can't be properly detached. Is there any possibility your friend could discuss the situation with another doctor? Perhaps her GP?"

"Oh yes: we've made an appointment with her GP and we're going together," said Lily. Briefly, her eyes met Ethan's and he smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that. It sounds like you're dealing with the situation very well, Lily."

Lily nodded in acknowledgement. "But what about the father?"

Ethan let out a soft sigh. "That does make it more difficult. You don't want to betray one friend, but you also want to stay loyal to the other. This could have such a momentous effect on their relationship. An abortion has an effect emotionally and physically. It's likely he will realise something has happened, even if he doesn't know the cause of it. And to find out later, when it's too late…"

"What would you do?" Lily jerked out the words abruptly.

"Me?" said Ethan. "If I was in your situation?"

"No: if you were in the father's situation," said Lily urgently. "Would you want to know?"

"Yes, of course I'd want to know!" Ethan said at once. "No two ways about it." He looked apologetically at Lily. "But Honey and I: we would never be in that situation. We would discuss everything. I'm sure Honey knows that if she became pregnant, all I'd ever want to do was to support her and the…"

He looked at Lily as he spoke and his voice trailed away.

"Lily?" His voice was a throaty rasp.

Lily couldn't look at him. She stared down at her hands and bit hard upon her lip.

"Lily, who is it?" Ethan rapped out sharply.

Lily didn't answer.

"Tell me!" Ethan caught her arm. "Lily, you're not saying that… you can't mean…"

Finally, Lily looked up at him. The expression in her eyes was far softer than he'd ever seen from Lily before.

"It is." Ethan answered his own question almost in a whisper. "Honey wants to… to abort…" His eyes filled with tears.

"She doesn't want to," said Lily. "It's just an option she's considering."

"Because she thinks I wouldn't… but how can she?" said Ethan. "How can she think I wouldn't be there for her? For our baby?" He gave a sob and lowered his head.

Lily put a hand on each of his arms. "Sometimes people make mistakes, Ethan."

"Yes: everyone makes mistakes!" said Ethan. "But not everyone would abort their baby without even telling the father." He took his glasses off and wiped his eyes with his hands. "I've got to see her. I've got to go and see her right now."


	8. Chapter 8

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. Ethan and Honey meet again in this chapter - I hope you enjoy it.

 **Tato Potato** , aw thank you so much! I really am happy you're enjoying it. Luckily for the purposes of this story, Ethan is intelligent and Lily is an inexperienced liar! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , it is a very bad way for Ethan to find out and he's certainly not feeling calm at the moment! Honey really didn't confide in the idea person. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey was startled to hear someone hammering on the door. She was expecting Ethan, but she knew that couldn't be him. Whoever it was, there was something badly wrong.

She stayed still for a moment, unsure whether she should answer it or not. Her policy had always been to help people who needed help, but she didn't just have herself to think of now. She couldn't just run into danger without considering the consequences.

But whoever was knocking on the door was probably alone and scared, and Honey knew just how that felt. She went to open the door – and stared. "Ethan, what's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong!" Ethan said grimly, but then his whole face seemed to quiver and his voice dropped almost to a whisper. "How could you, Honey?"

"How could I what?" said Honey, even though she knew. Nothing else could make him look like that. "Would you like to come in, Ethan?"

Ethan hesitated, then nodded. "Out of consideration to Noel, I think I will. This isn't something he'd want the neighbours to hear."

His voice was shaking. Honey knew that if she spoke, hers would too. She showed him into the living room, pausing uncertainly as a black mist swam in front of her eyes. A moment later, it cleared and she continued walking, but she still felt dizzy and faint. "Ethan, I'm sorry." She didn't know how he knew, but he must have discovered the truth somehow.

Then she realised there was only one way he could have found out. Lily must have told him.

Of course she had, Honey thought bitterly. Lily wanted Ethan for herself and Honey had given her the perfect opportunity to drive a wedge between them.

But just how big a wedge was it?

Ethan rarely raised his voice. He did it now. He almost screamed the words into Honey's face. "How could you, Honey? How could you? How could you just abort my baby without even telling me?"

Honey flinched away. "You said you didn't want kids."

"I never said that!" shouted Ethan. "And even if I did say that, it's my baby. It's part of me. I have a right to know. I have to know!"

Tears filled Honey's eyes. "I didn't know how you'd react."

"Do you really think that's an excuse?" said Ethan. "An excuse for not telling me that my own baby, my own flesh and blood is growing inside you and you just want to…" He stopped suddenly. His face filled with horror. "Oh God."

"What is it?" said Honey, worried about him despite everything. He had hurt her, but he was still Ethan and she loved him. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay!" shouted Ethan. "How can I be okay after what you've done to me?"

"I'm sorry, Ethan," sobbed Honey. "I'm so sorry."

"So am I!" said Ethan. He was crying too now. He didn't look at her as he asked: "Who is he?"

"Who is who?" said Honey, completely lost now. She was shaking and she really thought she might faint this time.

"The father!" cried Ethan. "I assumed it was me at first, but it's not, is it? That's the real reason why you didn't want to tell me. Because it's not mine!"

"Of course it's yours!" wept Honey. "There could never be anyone else but you. I love you, Ethan."

"But why else wouldn't you tell me?" Ethan asked, his voice raw with pain.

"Because," said Honey, only to stop as she was consumed by another sob. "Because…" She felt so dizzy. So sick. So hot. So thirsty. She stood up, not quite sure if she was going to the bathroom or to get a drink, but her legs couldn't support her and she fell back onto the sofa.

"Because what?" said Ethan.

Honey tried to breathe, but the room seemed airless. She breathed faster, trying to take in oxygen, but she felt worse. The nausea increased too and she dragged herself to her feet again so she could go to the bathroom, but the room was spinning and she wasn't even sure if she could walk.

"Honey?" said Ethan.

Then, as her legs buckled and her eyes closed, she heard him screaming her name. But then she could hear nothing.

* * *

Ethan caught Honey as she collapsed and gently laid her on her back in the centre of the room. "Honey, are you all right? Can you open your eyes for me?" As he expected, she didn't answer. He shook her shoulder gently. There was still no response, so Ethan tilted her head back to open her airway and checked for breathing, holding his cheek close to her nose and mouth. "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry."

Yes, she was breathing. He could hear and feel it. He took her hand in his, unable to stop himself from kissing it. Despite everything, he loved her. "I'm here, darling. I'll look after you." He placed two fingers on her wrist and was alarmed by the speed of it. Well over 100 beats a minute. At least 120. No: more like 130.

He debated calling an ambulance but decided it would be quicker to take her by car. With his eyes on Honey, Ethan phoned Cal.

"Cal, I need your help," said Ethan, his voice sounding weak and trembly to his own ears.

There was a short silence, then Cal spoke, his voice strong and reassuring. "Tell me what's happened, Ethan."

"It's Honey. She's collapsed," said Ethan through more tears. "I'm going to bring her to the ED. Please can you arrange for her to be seen as soon as we get there?"

"Of course I can," said Cal. "But are you sure you shouldn't phone an ambulance? You don't sound like you should be driving."

"I want her to get there quickly," said Ethan.

Cal's voice was firm. "She'll get there more quickly if you don't have an accident on the way. Ethan, if you're upset enough to phone _me_ to ask for help, you're too upset to drive. Trust me. Call an ambulance."

"I can drive her," said Ethan, more calmly.

Cal argued some more, but Ethan stood firm. "Okay, is there anything I need to know?" said Cal at last. "She didn't hit her head when she fell?"

"No, I caught her," said Ethan. "She's unconscious and unresponsive. Her breathing is normal, but her pulse is about 130. And she's… she's pregnant."

There was a short silence, then Cal spoke again. "I'll get everything sorted, Ethan. Don't worry. You just bring her in."

"Thank you." To Ethan's relief, his voice was steady now. "We'll see you soon."

When Ethan looked back at Honey, she was stirring. "Ethan?" she said, her voice panicked.

Ethan knelt beside her. "It's all right, darling. I'm here. Can you remember what happened?"

Honey shook her head blankly. "I feel so weird, Ethan."

"I'm taking you to the ED," said Ethan. "Don't move, okay? I'll be back in a minute."

He went out to the car, opened the back door and went back into the flat. Honey was lying where he left her, looking bewildered and tearful.

"Don't worry. We'll be there soon," said Ethan as he gathered her up in his arms. He carried her out to the car, laid her gently on the back seat and arranged the back seatbelts around her.

"I'm scared, Ethan," said Honey.

"I know you are," said Ethan. "But you'll be okay, sweetheart. I'll look after you."


	9. Chapter 9

**LittleBritishPerson** , thank you for your review. I think Cal must have been very shocked and worried too! You'll see more of his emotions (and Ethan's and Honey's, of course!) in the coming chapters.

 **Tato Potato** , I'm really happy I've managed to bring Ethan's sweetness across. ! Even though he was really hurting, I couldn't imagine him doing anything except trying to help. Thank you for your review.

 **lilangel1** , thank you for your review. Honey probably isn't okay, but at least she's going to the right place. I love writing about supportive Ethan!

 **ETWentHome** , Ethan is very confused and upset, but I'm sure he'll calm down and realise the truth soon. Thank you for your review!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your reviews - I miss chapters sometimes too. I'm really happy you enjoyed them both and you'll find out what's wrong with Honey in the next couple of chapters.

* * *

When Ethan parked outside the ED, Cal was standing ready with a wheelchair. Ethan unbuckled the seatbelts and helped Honey to sit up. She was shaking and still tearful. "It's going to be okay," he murmured as he lifted her out of the car. Cal brought the wheelchair a bit closer and Ethan lowered her into it.

"I feel sick," said Honey.

"Don't worry. That's what the car park's for," said Cal.

Ethan knew Cal was joking, but he wasn't in the mood to appreciate it. "If I bring Honey, could you go on ahead and get her a bowl?"

"No problem," said Cal. He bent down in front of the wheelchair and patted Honey's arm. "Don't worry, okay? We've got a cubicle all ready for you and the equipment is all set up for an ultrasound. We'll do everything we can to keep you and my little niece or nephew safe." He kissed Honey on the cheek and then stood up to hug Ethan. "It seems a bit weird to congratulate you now, but I want you to know I'm very happy."

"Thanks, Cal," said Honey.

Ethan felt a jolt of pain as he realised Cal could end up being hurt too, but he managed to smile and thank Cal.

"You're welcome," said Cal. "Now try not to worry. I've got Zoe for you because I don't think it's right for me to treat Honey, but I'll be there." He looked back at Honey. "And I promise I won't tell your dad this time." He hurried into the ED.

Ethan locked the car and tried to smile at Honey. It was difficult when he knew that the baby inside Honey probably wasn't Cal's niece or nephew, but he couldn't worry about that now. It didn't matter who the father was: Honey and her baby needed help.

He spoke soothingly as he wheeled her in the ED. Cal met them at the doors with a bowl, which he placed on Honey's lap. Then he showed them to the cubicle, where Zoe and Lofty were waiting.

"Hi, Honey," said Zoe. "Let's just get you onto the bed and we'll get you prepped for the ultrasound. We can't say at this stage if your illness is anything to do with the baby, but I'm sure you must be worried so we'll scan for a heartbeat first and take it from there. Okay?"

Honey's eyes slid over to Lofty. "Can't I have a female nurse?"

Ethan looked anxiously at Lofty, but he needn't have worried. Lofty very rarely took offence.

"I can get you Robyn, if you like," he offered, "but you do realise this will be all over the ED in about thirty seconds?"

"Oh," said Honey. "I don't want a nurse who's going to tell everyone."

Zoe patted her arm. "There's no need to worry, Honey. I'll do the scan myself. Lofty, if you wouldn't mind waiting outside while we're doing the scan, but please stay close by as I'll need you to take some bloods once we've done the scan. Obviously, if there is an emergency, you're free to go and help."

Lofty nodded and smiled reassuringly at Honey. "Don't worry, okay? You're in very good hands." He went outside and closed the curtain.

Zoe turned to Ethan and Cal. "Ethan, you can stay in the room as you're the father, but Cal, I don't think we can justify having three doctors in here."

"I'm the uncle!" said Cal, an expression of pride on his face that would normally have amused Ethan but in the current circumstances just made him feel wretched. "And if anything's..." He stopped. "I mean, they might need me."

"I think it's up to Honey," said Ethan.

Honey hesitated. "Please stay, Cal," she said at last. "Because you are the uncle."

Ethan heard the firmness in her voice. She sounded like she was telling the truth. But if he was the father, why hadn't she told him? She said it was because he didn't want children, but he didn't know why she'd think that.

"Would you like your dad to be here too, Honey?" asked Zoe.

"No, thanks," said Honey quickly. "If you find something in the blood results, I should probably tell him, but I don't really want my dad to know that I'm… that me and Ethan are…"

Ethan was very red. He definitely didn't want Noel to know that either. What if Noel decided to kill him?

Zoe laughed. "I'm quite sure he's guessed and he'll certainly realise when the baby comes, but you're an adult, Honey, so anything that happens here is confidential. Now, Honey, we don't have any details of your pregnancy here – do you know how far along you are?"

"About three months," said Honey.

Ethan felt like she'd hit him.

It seemed impossible. Honey insisted it was his baby, but how could it have been growing inside her for three months without him knowing or even guessing? He was a doctor and the baby was part of him.

"Then we'll do an abdominal scan," said Zoe. "Don't worry, Honey: it won't hurt the baby at all and it shouldn't hurt you, but I might have to press the probe quite hard to get a better image of the baby so there might be a little bit of discomfort." Zoe gently pushed Honey's top back to expose her tummy. "Can you pull your trousers down to your hips for me? Thanks. This will feel a little cold, but it's nothing to worry about. Ethan, you can hold Honey's hand if you like."

Ethan hesitated, unsure how he felt about holding his girlfriend's hand as he looked at the baby that might belong to another man, but he didn't want to make a scene. He seized Honey's hand and waited tensely, his eyes fixed on the screen as Zoe passed the probe over Honey's stomach.

The screen flickered and then came on. Ethan looked at it, frowning. That didn't look right. And he couldn't hear a heartbeat.

"Ethan, that hurts!" said Honey, and Ethan loosened his hold on her hand.

"I don't understand..." said Cal.

Ethan looked at Zoe and she too seemed confused. "Honey, I assume you've her your pregnancy confirmed by your GP?"

"No, but I obviously am pregnant," said Honey. "I haven't had my period for a couple of months; I'm feeling sick all the time and being sick quite a lot; I'm definitely eating for two except when I feel too sick to eat anything; I'm really moody and I keep crying, which really isn't like me; I'm really shaky…"

"Those can all be symptoms of pregnancy," said Zoe; "but they can also be symptoms of something else."

Honey stared at her, her mouth open. "What do you mean? What's wrong?" She was the one holding Ethan's hand too tightly now. "Is there something wrong with my baby?"

Ethan's eyes filled with tears. They couldn't have lost the baby. Even if it wasn't his, it was still Honey's baby and he loved Honey. He heard Cal walking towards them. A moment later, Cal's hand was on his shoulder.

"There is no sign of miscarriage or of any kind of non-viable pregnancy," said Zoe. "But there are also no signs that you are pregnant. There are several reasons why that could be the case – it is possible the baby is too small to be picked up by an abdominal scan - but as you haven't had a pregnancy test yet, I think that's the next step we need to take. We'll take some bloods as well and call you back in when we have all the results."

"But why would I need a pregnancy test?" said Honey. "We know I'm pregnant!"

Zoe spoke gently. "I think it's possible that you've made a mistake and the 'pregnancy' symptoms are actually symptoms of something else."

"But I must be pregnant!" said Honey as her eyes filled with tears. "I can feel it! I can feel my baby!"

"It's all right, darling," said Ethan. He squeezed her hand and felt Cal patting his shoulder. "We'll just do as Zoe says. That's the best thing we can do."


	10. Chapter 10

_Thank you for all your reviews! I hope you'll still read this story now we've discovered the 'real' Honey isn't that nice and isn't nearly good enough for Ethan._

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. Honey definitely isn't in a good state physically or emotionally, but you'll find out what's really wrong in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

 **Paradoxilla** , well done for realising she wasn't really pregnant! Yes, you did call it and I'm glad someone did! Have you worked out what's really wrong with her? Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I know - things aren't good for Honey and Ethan at the moment, though at least they're understanding each other better now. Thank you for your review!

 **Tato Potato** , I couldn't leave Cal out! And as he had to be there, I thought I'd have Caring Cal as everyone loves him. Thank you for your review - I'm so glad you're still enjoying it.

 **CBloom2** , now Cal knows there's something wrong and is more involved, I'll try to include him in the story a lot more because we all love a bit of Caring Cal. Thank you for your review!

* * *

"I really thought you didn't want children," said Honey.

They were sitting in the relatives' room. Cal had left them to talk after bringing them a cup of tea each, though he said he'd come back for the results. Ethan was grateful: he'd had so many shocks in the last hour or so and felt off-balance and disorientated, so he was glad to have his brother there - though he was determined to be as strong as he could for Honey.

"I'm very sorry I gave you the impression that I don't want children," said Ethan. "If I did say that, it was an accident. Ideally, I'd like to wait a few more years, but if a baby came along now, I'd want it and I'd love it and I'd be so proud of you both and so happy."

Honey looked up at him. "Really?"

"Really," said Ethan. He looked at her curiously. "Honey, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to. But why did you think I didn't want children?"

Honey reminded him of the conversation they'd had before they'd slept together for the first time. "I know it didn't necessarily mean anything. But I was scared, Ethan. I didn't want to lose you."

Ethan was still slightly hurt she thought he was capable of abandoning her, but he knew they couldn't help what had happened in the past. Only the future mattered now. _Their_ future. "I'm sorry, Honey. I really was just joking, more to ease my nervousness than anything else. I was so afraid I was going to disappoint you."

"I know you were," said Honey softly. "But there was no need. You've never disappointed me, Ethan. You amaze and wow me every single time."

Ethan blushed and felt glad they were the only people in the relatives' room. "Um… good. Thank you. So do you." He paused. "And I owe you another apology for thinking you'd cheat on me. I should have known you'd never do that."

"What else could you think when you found out from someone else, and the explanation I gave for not telling you wasn't even true as far as you were concerned?" Honey said sadly. Her eyes filled with tears. "I trusted her, Ethan."

"Lily didn't actually tell me," said Ethan. "She said she had ethical concerns about two friends of hers. She asked me what I'd want in the father's situation. I guessed I was the father from the look on her face."

"I'm sure the look on her face was as carefully planned as everything else she's ever done," said Honey angrily. "I never should have told her. I know she had feelings for you. I should have known she'd want to ruin everything."

Ethan shook his head. "Sweetheart, if she'd wanted to ruin everything, I'm sure she wouldn't have said anything to me at all. I know you're upset with Lily, Honey, and I can understand why, but I'm grateful to her." His voice shook slightly. "Imagine if you'd been alone when you collapsed. Imagine if you'd just lain there until Noel got home. It doesn't bear thinking about. We can't know Lily's motives. Only her actions. And her actions meant that you got prompt medical care."

Honey didn't look convinced, but she didn't argue either. "So what do you think's wrong with me?"

Ethan hesitated. "I wouldn't like to say, darling. I might be a doctor, but there is only so much I can say without seeing the test results."

Honey's arms tightened convulsively around him. "Do you think I'm going to die?"

"There is absolutely nothing to suggest you will," said Ethan.

"But I might," said Honey. "That's what you're saying, isn't it, Ethan? There's something's wrong with me and I might die."

"A lot of people have something wrong with them," said Ethan. "But they're either cured or they take medication and they feel completely well."

"Not everyone, though."

"No." Ethan couldn't lie to her. "Not everyone."

Honey began to cry. "I just hate this sitting and waiting. I can't stand it, Ethan. And I can't stand the fact I can't stand it because I can usually cope with anything."

Ethan held her closer to him. "It's all right, darling. It's always frightening, knowing something is wrong and not knowing what it, and fear and stress can make you behave in ways you wouldn't usually. Believe me, I see it all the time. Your feelings are natural and I'm sure Zoe will come and let us know the results as soon as she can."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Honey and Ethan were back in the cubicle with Zoe and Cal. Honey was shaking and she was grateful for Ethan's arms around her. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess of babies and dying and Lily betraying her and Ethan thinking she'd cheat on him… she couldn't deal with the emotions and she'd already had one panic attack in the relatives' room.

"Okay, Honey. First things first," said Zoe. "You're not pregnant."

"You mean… I've lost the baby?" said Honey.

She felt Ethan hugging her more tightly.

"No, you haven't lost the baby," said Zoe, and took Honey's hand. "Honey, there was never a baby. I'm so sorry if you're disappointed."

Honey burst into tears.

"Oh, sweetheart…" said Ethan. His voice was shaking.

Cal squeezed Ethan's shoulder before giving Honey's a light pat. "I'm sorry."

"But I thought… I felt…" sobbed Honey. "I felt like it was in there. I loved it. And I never could have let it go. And now…"

Cal's eyes looked slightly shiny. "I know, Honey. Phantom pregnancies can feel just as real as the real thing. It's natural that you'd start to care."

Ethan wiped a tear from his cheek and guided Honey's head onto his shoulder. "It's all right, Honey. We can have another baby. No. I don't mean _another_ baby. I mean… you know what I mean. We can have a baby. Whenever you want to. I'll love it and support it and be proud to call it mine. Just like I'm proud to call _you_ mine."

Cal sat on the edge of the bed and hugged both of them.

Zoe looked sad too as she looked at the three of them. "Why don't you all take a few minutes, then we can discuss the blood results."

Honey's trembling increased. She sat up, though she remained close to Ethan. "No: I want to know now."

"Okay," said Zoe. "We have found something in the blood results, but it's something that can be treated and cured."

"What is it?" said Honey.

Ethan held her more tightly. Cal didn't let go of either of them.

"It's a condition called hyperthyroidism," said Zoe. "Do you know what your thyroid is, Honey? It's fine if you don't. A lot of people haven't heard of it."

"I don't think I knew till medical school," admitted Cal.

Honey thought. "I have heard of it. It's on my reflexology socks. I don't know what it is though."

"The thyroid is a gland in your neck that's shaped like a butterfly," said Zoe.

Honey wiped her eyes. "I have a butterfly inside me?"

Ethan gave her a watery smile. "In a way. But it's been doing much too much flying and now it's exhausted so we need to calm it down so it only flies when it needs to."

"Poor butterfly," said Honey. "What does it do? Does it help me fly?"

"It makes you fly too much too," said Cal.

"The thyroid produces a hormone called thyroxine," said Zoe. "I'll refer you to an endocrinologist who can explain this properly, but your levels of thyroxine are extremely high, which means your body processes are working too quickly. For example, it affects your heart rate, which is making your heart beat much more quickly than it should. Hyperthyroidism can produce a number of difference symptoms, including nausea and vomiting, absence of periods, hunger, emotional instability, tachycardia – a fast heartbeat - and tremors in your hands."

Honey looked down at her hands and then held them out in front of her. "Yeah, they are tremoring."

"But we can make it better," said Ethan.

Honey looked at him hopefully. "Can it be cured then?"

"It can be either managed or cured," said Zoe. "One option is medication. I'm going to prescribe you a type of medication called propranolol, which should slow your heart down as well as calming your emotions. In a week's time, I'd like you to come back here and have your thyroid levels checked again. You'll also need to have a scan of your thyroid. It's likely that the endocrinologist will want to put you on another medication, which should treat the thyroid directly rather than just reducing some of the symptoms."

"And the medication's going to sort it out?" said Honey.

Zoe hesitated. "The medication won't necessarily sort it out, Honey. There are other treatment options, but the endocrinologist will be able to help you and answer all your questions better than I can."

Honey looked fearfully at Ethan. "What are the other treatment options? Tell me."

"Well, one option is surgery to remove your thyroid," said Ethan, "though that's usually a last resort. Or there's a stronger tablet you can take. You just take it once and then you don't have hyperthyroidism anymore."

Honey sensed there was something he wasn't telling her, but maybe it was just something really complicated she wouldn't understand. "That seems okay."

Ethan kissed her. "And it will be okay. I'm not saying it's always going to be easy, but you will be okay."

"We'll both be here," said Cal.

"Yes, we will be," said Ethan. "We'll look after you, Honey. I promise."


	11. Chapter 11

_Thank you so much for all the amazing reviews! I'm overwhelmed._

 **Paradoxilla** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you're still enjoying it, even though it's sad! Thank you for reminding me about Noel - I hadn't quite forgotten him, but I do need to involve him a lot more from now on.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , I've actually had this medical condition myself, which really helps, though I did do some research too as it's not always a good idea to trust my memory! Thank you for your review - I'm pleased you like the story.

 **CBloom2** , it is a shame Honey and Ethan's relationship wasn't explored more on the show. She was there for such a short time, it almost didn't seem worth bringing her back at all! Thank you for your review - I'm glad you like what I'm doing with the characters.

 **EDSidekick** , thank you for your review - I hope you didn't hurt yourself walking into things on the way home! I'm really happy you're enjoying it so much and it's lovely that you like the story enough to try to work out what was wrong with Honey.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I'm sorry you're disappointed about the baby, but I am actually writing another story about pregnancy. Thank you for your review - it is good writing a story where Cal and Ethan are supporting each other and not arguing!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your reviews! I'm glad you like the title. It was a big clue, but it could also have meant that Honey was a bit of a farfallona amorosa. Ethan is hiding something, but he won't be able to hide it forever.

 **Jynx999** , thank you for your review and all your suggestions and advice. Honey's experiences are based on my experiences so they won't necessarily be typical, but I will take your advice about the phantom pregnancy.

 **Tato Potato** , I'm glad you like sweet Ethan! It makes a nice change to be writing about Cal and Ethan working together rather than arguing or comforting. Thank you for your review!

 **ETWentHome** , they are devastated and I really hope I can do a good enough job of exploring that side. Honey's hyperthyroidism will cause more problems too. Thank you for your review!

* * *

Honey leaned against the counter and tried not to cry. These stupid tablets were supposed to be making her feel better, but she felt worse. The propranolol irritated her stomach, which meant she had pain to deal with as well as the nausea. She didn't feel any less emotional and all she kept having moments when she thought of her baby, only to remember it was her butterfly. She didn't know if she felt sad or angry or relieved or just frightened of what her hyperactivity (or whatever the real word was) might bring.

The only thing she was completely sure of was that she wanted to avoid seeing Lily, which really wasn't an option when the doctor was standing in front of her, asking for a cup of tea.

Honey nodded without speaking and started to make it, her hands shaking.

"Are you all right?" asked Lily

"What do you think?" snapped Honey, refusing to meet Lily's eye.

"Have you… spoken to Ethan?" said Lily guardedly.

"No, he spoke to me!" said Honey. "As it happens, everything worked out well as far as that's concerned and we're both very happy! So sorry to disappoint you."

"Honey, I'm not disappointed!" Lily sounded upset. "I didn't mean to tell Ethan. He guessed."

"Yeah, with a little help from your facial expressions!" said Honey. She glared at Lily. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing. I might be just be a barrister with no GCSEs, but I know when someone's making a move on my boyfriend."

Lily held up her hands. "I'm not making a move on him. I would never make a move on someone else's boyfriend. Perhaps at one time, I was interested in Ethan, but that has passed now and I only want him to be happy. I want both of you to be happy. And the correct word is barista. Considering it's your job, I really think you need to learn to pronounce it correctly."

"Save the lies for someone who cares!" sneered Honey. Her voice was steadily rising and she knew she wasn't supposed to be shouting at her customers, but she was stressed and she felt so terrible and even though everything was all right between her and Ethan, it could so easily not be and it terrified her to think that she could have been alone right now if Lily had been successful.

And not forgetting her baby. She hadn't wanted it and it had threatened to ruin her relationship with Ethan, but Honey felt its loss now it had gone.

She blamed Lily for that too. Honey hadn't really started believing in the baby or wanting it until Lily had started talking as though it was really there. So it was all Lily's fault really. Everything she was feeling was Lily's fault.

"Honey, I'm not lying to you," said Lily. "I would never lie to you. I'm your friend and I'm concerned about you. I confided in Ethan only because I was concerned and I didn't feel close enough to anyone else to ask them-"

"Well, it's hardly my fault no-one likes you, is it?" shouted Honey as the stabbing feeling in her stomach intensified. "It's because you're a lying, sneaking cow who can't get a boyfriend of her own so she has to go after someone else's!"

Lily's face was completely calm. "Forget about the tea, Honey. I don't want it." She turned and walked away.

Honey laid her head down on the counter and burst into tears.

* * *

Ethan didn't like it when the patients tried to flirt with him. He didn't think there was really any real harm in it as long as they didn't take it too seriously, but he just didn't know how to deal with it. When the patient went so far as to put her hand on his chest (which almost made him wish he was a woman, as then he'd have just cause to complain), Ethan backed out of the cubicle, muttering incoherently and bashing into someone who was walking past.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Ethan as he turned, hoping it wouldn't be either a patient or Mrs Beauchamp, but it was neither. It was Lily and her eyes were full of tears. "Lily, did I hurt you? I'm really sorry."

"No, you didn't hurt me," said Lily without looking him. She tried to move away, but Ethan caught her arm.

"What's wrong? Did someone upset you?"

"No, I'm not upset," said Lily as she wiped a tear away. "My contact lenses… they irritate my eyes…"

"Oh, I can imagine," said Ethan sympathetically. "I've never got on with the things myself."

Lily wiped her other eye. "I need to go and…" Her voice was shaking.

Again, Ethan stopped her. "Lily, are you sure you're all right? Why don't we go and get a coffee or something and then we can-"

Lily put her hand over her mouth but couldn't stifle a sob. "I'm sorry, Ethan."

"No. Don't apologise. Everyone gets upset sometimes," said Ethan. "It's a very upsetting job. But whatever's wrong, Lily, you can tell me. I don't know if I'll actually be able to help, but if there's anything I can do…"

"I… I didn't mean to cause problems between you and Honey," said Lily tearfully. "I know it looked like that. But I didn't."

"I didn't imagine for a moment that you did," said Ethan gently. "You were concerned about Honey because you're a good friend and I'm very grateful to you for that." He put his hand lightly on her back. "Come on. Let's go to the staff room and I'll make you some tea. You obviously need a break and I'd certainly like to put a bit of distance between myself and my patient."

Lily still looked unwilling, but she responded to the light pressure of his hand and walked with him. "All right," she said at last.

"Good!" said Ethan, and smiled at her. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But if you would like to talk about it – I'm here."

* * *

Honey jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Honey, what is it? What's wrong?" said Cal.

"Everything!" sobbed Honey.

Cal rubbed her shoulder and spoke gently. "I'll get Ethan."

"No." Honey sniffed and reached for a paper napkin. "He wouldn't want to speak to me if he knew what I just done."

Cal smiled at her uncertainly. "Well, I don't know what you've done, but I can't imagine Ethan not wanting to speak to you. Let me go and get him and I'll prove it."

"No, don't go!" begged Honey in a panic. "Don't go, Cal. Please don't get Ethan."

"Of course I won't if you don't want me to," said Cal, still looking very confused. "What's wrong, Honey?"

"I... I was horrible to Lily!" burst out Honey.

Cal grimaced. "And let me guess. She was horrible back. She's good at that."

Honey shook her head. "No, she wasn't. She just told me I was wrong and left. And now I'm wondering if I really was wrong. But I can't be wrong! She tried to split me and Ethan up and I know it." She began to cry again. "I'm so confused, Cal, and my tummy hurts and I want my baby!"

"Honey…" Cal said helplessly. "How about I get your dad?"

"I don't want him to know," sniffled Honey. "He'd be ashamed of me."

Cal put his hand over hers. "I'm sure he wouldn't be. If anything, I think he'd be proud of you for putting Lily in her place. I bet he's wanted to do that loads of times. Have you explained to him how hyperthyroidism affects your emotions?"

"I haven't told him yet," admitted Honey. "I don't know how. He'd want to know how I know and I'd have to explain about the baby…"

"No, you wouldn't," said Cal. "Not if you don't want to. All you need to do is tell him about some of the physical symptoms, then you can tell him you fainted and Ethan brought you here and we did some tests. That's all you need to tell him."

Honey wiped at her tears. "What about Lily?"

Cal thought for a moment. "I'd leave it for a while. Wait till you're not so upset. I'm sure Lily will be fine with it, but it's going to be a bit stressful so I'd wait till you've calmed down a bit first. Then you can tell her you're sorry and you didn't mean it."

"I did mean it, though," said Honey. "I didn't mean to shout at her, but I still think she's a lying, sneaking cow who tried to steal my boyfriend. I just didn't mean to say it."

Cal gave another awkward smile. "Then maybe you should leave out the part about not meaning it. But you can still tell her you're sorry. If you explain about your condition, I'm sure Lily will understand you're not yourself at the moment. She'll know all about hyperthyroidism and its symptoms."

"But what will Ethan say?" said Honey desperately.

"Ethan will say he understands that you're upset and emotional, but you can't speak to people like that," said Ethan's voice from behind Cal.


	12. Chapter 12

**beckyboogle** , thank you for your review. I'm really happy you're enjoying it. (I know I always say that, but it is actually true!) Ethan didn't arrive at the best possible moment...

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I'm happy you have some sympathy for her, even though you agree with Ethan. She wasn't very nice to Lily at all! Thank you for your review.

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. Honey and Cal seemed to get on quite well in one of the episodes so I thought they'd probably be friends. Also, I love it when Cal supports Ethan's girlfriends and wives in your stories!

 **Tanith Panic** , it happens far too often! Noel did tell Honey how to pronounce barista in her first episode, but maybe she thinks it sounds too posh or something! Luckily, no-one would mistake her for a real barrister. Thank you for your review!

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I don't know how easy it would be to help Lily to understand Honey's feelings, but luckily, Ethan is a very understanding sort of guy. So there's hope at least!

* * *

It had taken Ethan a while to get the truth out of Lily. When Ethan left her to make the tea, she still looked like she might cry at any moment, but when he returned, she was calm and in control. They sat in silence as they drank their tea, Ethan waiting for Lily to speak, but then he realised that if he wanted her to confide in him, he would have to speak first.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" he said.

It wasn't original, but at least it was clear.

Lily shrugged.

"You can tell me anything, you know," said Ethan. "I'm your friend and I'm here to help you – especially after everything you've done for Honey."

Confusion filled Lily's face. "What do you mean: everything I've done for Honey?"

Ethan was confused too now. "Well, you looked after her in the restaurant; you convinced her to tell you about… about the baby; you made sure I knew about it, which I'm very grateful for as I'm not sure Honey would have told me herself…"

"Yes," said Lily, looking down into her tea. "I suppose I did."

"And I appreciate it very much," said Ethan. He paused, then added less truthfully: "I'm sure Honey does too."

Lily shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Why would you think that?" said Ethan. "If you mean the fact you told me, maybe she wasn't entirely happy about that at first, but if you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have been there when she collapsed and she might never have found out I was happy for her to have our… our baby."

"I betrayed her," said Lily. "However you look at it, that's what I did."

"But accidentally," said Ethan. "And a lot of good came of it."

Lily didn't answer. She kept her head lowered.

"Is this why you're upset, Lily?" said Ethan gently. "Because you feel guilty about what you've done?"

Lily hesitated, then she nodded. "Yes. That is why."

Ethan leaned closer. "Is that the only reason?"

"Yes, that's the only reason," said Lily, but she sounded like she was trying not to cry.

Ethan wasn't sure what to do. He could scarcely tell Lily he didn't believe her. All he could do was try to support her with the problem she'd mentioned to him. "Why don't you come with me and see Honey now? Then you can-" He stopped as he saw Lily flinch away from him. "Lily, what is it?"

"I don't want to go with you and see Honey," said Lily tightly.

"But why?" said Ethan. "Honey's the sweetest girl in the world. She wouldn't be angry with you. Not now. She is a bit emotional at the moment because of her hyperthyroidism and I think she's disappointed that she's not having a… having a baby, but if it wasn't for you, she wouldn't have found out the truth so quickly." He held out his hand to Lily. "Come on, Lily. Please. Come and have a chat with Honey and I'm sure everything will be all right."

"I can't," said Lily, and her eyes filled with tears.

"Why not?" said Ethan gently.

Lily shook her head. "I can't tell you."

"Of course you can tell me."

"No, I can't!" A tear trickled down Lily's cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

"Then how about I bring Honey here?" suggested Ethan. "Yes, that would be much better. It is more private here." He got to his feet. "I'll go and tell her now."

"No, Ethan, don't!" cried out Lily.

"Lily, please don't worry," said Ethan. "Everything will be fine. I promise you."

Lily wiped another tear. "No, it won't, Ethan. She doesn't want to see me. She blames me for everything. Please don't bring her here."

Ethan's mouth opened, but not words came out. He returned to Lily's side. "Have you spoken to her?"

Lily nodded.

Ethan didn't want to say it, but he couldn't leave things as they were. "Was Honey the person who upset you?"

Again, Lily nodded.

"I'm sorry," said Ethan. He touched Lily's hand. "I really am sorry. Honey isn't quite herself at the moment: her emotions are all over the place, and understandably so. But she must have gone a bit over the top if she made you cry. I'm sorry she upset you and I'm sure Honey will be sorry too."

"I doubt it," said Lily in a low voice.

Ethan patted her hand a bit helplessly. "Why don't you tell me what she said?

Lily shook her head firmly.

"Please, Lily?" said Ethan. "If you tell me, maybe I can help you and Honey to sort things out."

"I don't think she ever wants to sort things out with me," said Lily, and finally gave in to her tears.

* * *

Honey stared at Ethan, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"Come on, Ethan. That's a bit harsh," said Cal, his hand still on Honey's arm.

"No. I'm really sorry, Honey, but I don't think it is," said Ethan. "I understand that you're upset and Lily did break a confidence. But all she ever wanted was to try to help and the things you said to her were unfair, untrue and cruel. I'm really sorry if I'm hurting you and I know you're not yourself at the moment, but you've got things completely wrong. Lily only sees me as a friend and she wants to be your friend too."

"Maybe when hell freezes over," said Honey.

Ethan audibly gasped. "Honey, you don't mean that. I'm sure you don't mean that."

Honey burst into tears. "She was trying to split us up, Ethan! Just because she's jealous because she can't get a boyfriend of her own."

"I'm quite sure she wasn't doing anything of the kind," said Ethan, but then his voice softened. "Honey, why don't you go home? You've been through a lot and you're much too upset to work." He examined her face. "You still don't look that well. How are you feeling?"

"Terrible!" sobbed Honey. "I hate these tablets, Ethan. They make me feel even worse. They make me feel sicker than I did without them and I'm sure my heart rate's up because I keep worrying I'm going to be sick. I can't cope, Ethan. I hate this. And I miss our baby. I miss our baby so much!"

Ethan's eyes blurred. "Come out here, sweetheart."

Honey hesitated. She was hurt that Ethan didn't believe her about Lily, but one of the reasons why she loved him was because he always saw the best in people. She came out from behind the counter and flung her arms around him. Ethan's arms went tightly around her and she felt Cal patting her shoulder.

"Ethan, I can cover for you if you want to take Honey home," said Cal.

"Thanks, Cal. I think I'd better," said Ethan, and pressed a kiss into Honey's hair. "There are other medication options, Honey. I don't really want to change your medication now because you might find the side effects go away in a few days. But if you still feel this way when you see the endocrinologist, perhaps he'll prescribe you something else."

"But what am I going to do until then?" said Honey. "I can't work like this, Ethan. I can't live like this."

"No, you can't work like this – so I'll take you home," said Ethan. "And you won't have to live like this for very long." He held her away from him and kissed her. "I'll take you home right now, darling."

Honey gave another sob. "But I don't want to be on my own, Ethan. When I'm on my own, I think. About… things."

"We'll keep checking on you," said Cal. "We can phone and send texts between patients. Ethan will come and see you at lunchtime. If I have a different lunchbreak from him, I'll come and see you in my lunchbreak too. We'll look after you, Honey."

"Thank you," hiccupped Honey, but her emotions were so overwhelming and she was so tired. She leaned her head against Ethan's shoulder and started to cry again.

"Oh, sweetheart," murmured Ethan.

"Honey, what's wrong?" said a voice, and they turned to see Noel. "Ethan, Cal: what's going on?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , luckily, Noel wasn't told about the baby - but he's certainly going to see the effects of what happened. Thank you for your review!

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I'm really happy you enjoyed it! I hope you like this chapter too. No Cal, unfortunately!

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. It's true that Honey has a lot of support so she will get through it - but there will be more problems along the way!

 **CBloom2** , they do have to explain to Noel, but even if he reacts well, there could be problems! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , I agree it would be really good for Honey to have Lily's support - having a female friend could be very important for her. Thank you for your review!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. The baby was real to Honey, and her emotions are so heightened at the moment anyway. It's a good thing she has Ethan and Cal!

* * *

Honey sat on the sofa and wept. She was aware that Noel was looking at her in wide-eyed concern, but she couldn't stop. Everything seemed so terrible at the moment and she just wanted Ethan.

"So, it's just this thyroid thing that's making you upset?" said Noel.

"Yes," sniffed Honey. It was more than that, of course, but she couldn't tell him. It was partly that she still didn't want to talk to her dad about her sex life – that could make things awkward at a time when she really needed him - but it wasn't just that. Not now.

She wasn't ready to tell him about the baby.

"But Ethan is going to cure it?" said Noel.

Honey worked out that he was talking about her hyperthyroidism. "Not Ethan. But it will be cured. Yes."

Noel shook his head helplessly. "I wish I was cleverer, Honey. I wish I could understand this thing properly. Ethan explained it, but I just don't quite get it." He gestured towards Honey. "And seeing you sitting there, all upset…"

Honey realised she was upsetting him too. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm really sorry." Her eyes welled with tears again.

"No. Don't you be sorry." Noel put his arms around her and gave her a tight hug. "You're not well. Of course you're going to be upset."

Honey immediately started sobbing even harder. She wished she could tell him. She just wanted her dad to know everything, but she couldn't find the words.

"Honey…" Noel almost moaned the name. "We're going to get through this: okay? You're my little girl and I love you and I'm going to be here. All you've got to do is remember this. If you ever want to talk to me about anything, I'm here. I don't want you to worry about hurting me or annoying me or anything like that because you won't. All you have to do is come and find me. I'm your dad and I'll be there."

* * *

Ethan was so glad to be home. It had been another long and emotional day. He knew that every day would be like this and he told himself he was ready for it, but he was having trouble believing it.

How could he go through this every day for the rest of his life?

He knew it wouldn't always be this bad. Honey would be cured and then she'd feel healthier and probably feel happier. But Ethan knew that some scars would remain and that was what bothered him.

He'd been so happy. Of course he'd been worried about Honey, but her physical symptoms were either normal or not unheard of in pregnancy. Once he'd satisfied himself that the baby was his and that he and Honey were going to have their own little family, he'd allowed himself to feel happy – there was no reason _not_ to be happy. He'd felt excited. He'd thought it was too soon to become a dad, but it all seemed different once he'd believed the baby was on the way.

He'd already started thinking and planning. He and Honey would get married and (obviously) she would move in with him and Cal. For the first year or so of the baby's life, he or she would sleep in the bedroom too. After that, the ideal situation would be to move the baby into what was now Cal's room, but Ethan didn't want to throw his brother out.

But perhaps by then, Cal would have found someone special too and would want his own home. Or if he hadn't, perhaps they could all move into somewhere bigger, if they could afford it.

As long as Ethan and Honey and their baby and Cal were happy.

Only now there was no baby.

Ethan sank down onto the sofa. He could feel the tears filling his eyes: the tears he'd been desperately holding back all day because he didn't want Honey to have any idea how devastated he felt. He knew he could share most of his feelings with Honey, but it was different when there was a chance she might blame herself.

Ethan removed his glasses and put his hands over his face as the tears poured down his cheeks.

He didn't know why he was so upset. He'd only thought Honey was pregnant for a couple of hours and had spent most of that time convinced that he wasn't the dad.

But the idea of being a father had grown so rapidly and Ethan just couldn't let it go. Although there had been no baby there, he still felt as though he'd lost it. It would be much worse for Honey, of course, and her illness didn't help, but Ethan still felt as though something he loved had been snatched away from him.

* * *

Honey's hands were shaking as she carried Noel's dinner into the living room. He'd told her she didn't have to cook tonight, but Honey knew she needed something to focus on. If she hadn't, all she'd be able to think about was the baby and then Noel would know there was something wrong.

She was glad to be out of the kitchen. She'd opened the window wide, but she'd felt so unbearably warm, she'd almost wanted to take her top off. If she had her own flat, she'd probably have done it, but it was her dad's flat and she wanted him to think she was respectable, even though she knew she wasn't.

"That looks lovely!" Noel said with a bit too much enthusiasm as Honey put the plate in front of him.

Honey knew he was trying to make her happy, rather than trying to cover up the fact he didn't like the look of her dinner, but she still felt a flash of irritation. "Fine! You cook next time!"

Noel looked startled and Honey's annoyance was instantly replaced by guilt.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry," she said, almost crying as she hugged him.

Noel hugged her back. "It's okay, love. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just your butterfly flapping and getting you in a flap too."

His kindness made Honey feel even more like crying, but she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, Dad. It won't be forever. I promise."

She went back to the kitchen to pick up her own dinner. Big Mac was still working and Honey was glad. She liked Mac, but he would need to be given some sort of explanation and she wasn't ready to tell him yet.

She picked up the second plate, but it was heavier than she expected and it slipped from her grasp, smashing on the floor. Honey looked down at her dinner; at the fragments of porcelain mixed up with the food she'd spent so long preparing and sank to her knees as the tears dripped silently down her cheeks.

She heard hurried footsteps and then Noel's voice. "Honey, are you okay? I heard a-" He stopped. "Oh, Honey, don't cry. It's okay. It was just an accident."

Honey continued to cry, feeling too weak and exhausted even to wipe her tears away. Noel knelt beside her and pulled her into his arms.

"Honey, it doesn't matter. It's only a plate. We can buy more. Why don't we share my dinner, then if we're still hungry, we could have some ice-cream or something?"

"Why am I so useless?" wailed Honey.

Noel stroked her hair. "You're not useless, love. You're just not very well and didn't Ethan say muscle weakness was a sign of hyperthyroidism? I'm sure that's all it is."

"I just feel so useless," Honey wept into his shoulder. "How am I supposed to do my job? How am I supposed to do anything?"

"You don't have to do your job, love," said Noel. "I'm sure they'll give you some time off and they'll probably still pay you – but even if they don't, we can manage."

Honey clung to him. "I feel like I've fallen into a big, black hole and I don't know how I'm going to get out."

"You will get out," said Noel. "You'll fly out. When you're better."


	14. Chapter 14

**Tanith Panic** , I love Noel and Honey's relationship - even though they haven't really had that much screen time, you can see it developing in every episode. I hope to develop it some more in this story! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I'm afraid this chapter is quite emotional too! They do need support - but they're not even supporting each other at the moment. It's a good thing they're surrounded by so many caring people.

 **CBloom2** , I'm afraid there's no caring Cal in this chapter, but I'm sure he'll make an appearance at some stage! You can't have upset Ethan without caring Cal. Thank you for your review.

 _I don't want to do spoilers, but I also don't want to upset or trigger anyone so I thought I should post a warning. There are mentions of miscarriage in this chapter and the next, but I've included as little detail as possible as it is an upsetting subject and the story is really about Honey and Ethan._

* * *

Honey didn't even try to work the next day. She knew she wouldn't be able to manage it so what was the point? Everything seemed pointless now. She lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling as Noel and Big Mac got ready for work. Just before they were due to leave, Noel came into the room and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you, love?"

"I'm sure," said Honey, blinking back tears.

"Honey, don't cry." Noel sounded upset too. ". I'll stay with you. They can manage without me for one day."

Honey shook her head. "You know the hospital would fall apart without you. I'm not really crying anyway. Having watery eyes is another symptom. They feel kind of gritty and then they start watering."

She'd hoped to reassure him, but she could tell she'd failed. She seemed to have failed at everything lately. Bad daughter; bad girlfriend.

Bad mother.

Noel stroked her hand. "How about if I see if I can get something from the pharmacy? Some eye drops or something?"

Honey shook her head. "Thanks, but I don't think they'd help. They might react with the stuff I'm taking or something." Ethan had talked at great length once about reactions between medications. It had been very boring, but he'd looked cute when he was saying it.

"Okay. You know best," said Noel. He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll be off then. Look after yourself and call me if you need anything."

"I don't want to disturb you when you're at work," said Honey.

"Honey, you won't be disturbing me. You'll be giving me a welcome break from all the time-wasters and moaning relatives."

"But then I'd be a moaning relative too."

Noel shook his head. "Of course you won't be. You're _my_ relative. You can phone and moan anytime."

* * *

Ethan was standing by the desk when the woman entered. She was gasping, sobbing; dragging herself along the wall with a bloodstained hand while the other clutched at her stomach. Ethan abandoned the file he was holding and went quickly over to her. "Hello, I'm Dr Hardy. Is there anything I can do to help?"

She made a grab for his arm and almost fell against him. "Please… I think I'm losing my baby…"

Ethan felt something lurch inside his chest, but then it was gone. "Come with me and I'll get you settled in a cubicle. Could you tell me your name?"

"Katie. My baby's called… Mia."

"We'll do everything we can for you and Mia, Katie. I'll just get you settled, then I'll see if I can find you a female doctor. Is there anyone you'd like me to call for you?"

"My husband's coming," sobbed Katie. "He said he'd be a while... I only live five minutes away."

"I'll let the receptionist know where we are so your husband can find us," Ethan said as he guided her into a cubicle. "Can you sit on the bed for me?"

"I'm bleeding," gasped Katie. "I don't want to bleed on the bed."

Ethan shook his head. "Please don't worry. We're used to people bleeding in here. Just think about yourself and Mia. I'll find you a female doctor and a nurse. I'm very happy to help you myself, but I imagine you'd prefer a woman."

"I don't mind if it's you," said Katie. "You're nice. Please just help me."

"I promise I'll do my very best." Ethan went out of the cubicle and found Robyn almost immediately. "Robyn, I need your help."

Robyn looked at him in concern. "Ethan, are you okay?"

"Yes, of course," said Ethan distractedly. "But my patient isn't okay. She thinks she's having a miscarriage."

Robyn hesitated. "Do you think maybe the patient would prefer a female doctor?"

"I offered, but she's happy with me," said Ethan. He looked at Robyn suspiciously and wondered how much she knew. He thought only he, Cal, Honey and Zoe knew about his baby, but there weren't many things Robyn didn't find out about.

"So you need me to take bloods?" said Robyn. "Prepare the patient for a physical examination and inform maternity?"

Ethan nodded. "Yes. Yes, that's right."

Robyn looked really worried now. "Ethan, if you're not comfortable doing this, you should find another doctor."

"Why would I be uncomfortable doing my job?" snapped Ethan.

Robyn flinched, though it probably wasn't so much from Ethan's words – she would have got a similar response from Lily or Dylan – as the fact it was Ethan saying it.

"I'm sorry," said Ethan. "But I do think the situation could be rather urgent so please could you do your job?"

"Yes, of course, Dr Hardy," said Robyn.

Ethan knew she was hurt, but he didn't know what to do. He couldn't explain what was wrong. "I'm sorry if I was abrupt, Robyn."

"No. It's fine, Ethan, " said Robyn. "You weren't abrupt at all. Which cubicle is it?"

"Six. Oh, and could you let Noel where we are as well? Katie's husband is on his way."

Robyn smiled at him reassuringly. "No problem."

Ethan took a moment to steady himself and returned to the cubicle. "Hi, Katie. Sorry about that. I've found you a really nice nurse called Robyn: she'll be with us in a few minutes."

Katie just nodded through her tears.

"I'll just ask a couple of questions while we're waiting, if that's all right. Don't worry if you don't know the answer. Do you know how far long you are?"

"About eleven weeks," sobbed Katie.

"Can I ask what symptoms you're experiencing?"

"I'm bleeding quite heavily and my tummy hurts and I feel dizzy."

It wasn't conclusive, of course, but if the pregnancy was confirmed, it was the most likely scenario. Ethan tried to speak calmly, but his head was spinning and he couldn't get back into doctor mode. "Please try to relax as much as you can. There are other causes of bleeding during pregnancy. Robyn is going to inform maternity, but she'll bloods when she gets here, then I'll have to do an internal examination if that's all right. If at any stage you change your mind about the female doctor, all you have to do is say. I won't be offended at all. I just want you to be comfortable."

* * *

Honey stayed in bed for the whole of the morning. She heard the thump of letters arriving on the door mat but felt no curiosity. A couple of people rang the bell, but she ignored that too. She didn't want to see anyone.

Her stomach lurched and she lifted her bucket onto the bed so she could vomit into it more easily. If anything, she hated her physical symptoms even more now. They'd tricked her. They'd made her think there was a baby. They'd made her love the baby. And then they'd snatched it away.

Shortly after midday, she heard Noel's key in the lock. She quickly scrubbed the tears from her face, but she knew Noel would see she'd been crying again. She went to the bathroom to empty the bucket and wash her face. She wanted to throw her arms around Noel's neck and tell him everything, but she didn't know how he'd react or where to begin.

"There you are," Noel said as Honey came out of the bathroom. "Are you okay?" He noticed the bucket. "Were you sick again, love?"

Honey nodded and Noel gave her a hug.

"Come on. Let's get you back to bed."

He helped her back to the bedroom and into bed. Honey could have walked on her own, but she felt grateful for his physical affection. It helped, if only a very little bit, to know she had a dad who cared about her. After all, until recently, she hadn't.

"You've got a couple of letters," said Noel, holding them out to her. "Didn't you hear them arrive?"

Honey shrugged.

"Go on: open them," said Noel. "It might be something good. Like a letter from a friend."he was still holding them out to her so

Honey couldn't find the energy to roll her eyes. "My friends send texts, Dad. Not letters." But took the first one from him. She slit it open and had a quick glance at the contents. "I'm not looking at that: it's a bank statement." She opened the other one. "Oh God. It's from the hospital. It must be my appointment."

"You see: I told you it might be something good," said Noel.

"What's good about it?" said Honey. "Telling me I'll have to wait months for an appointment."

"Maybe it won't be months," said Noel. "And if it is, we'll ask your doctor boyfriend to see if he can sneak you up the waiting list."

Honey shook her head, knowing she could never ask Ethan to do that, but when she saw the date of the appointment, she wondered if he already had. "It's next week."

"That's great!" said Noel. His smile faded as he looked at her. "Isn't it great?"

"I don't know," said Honey.

"No: it is great," said Noel. "They'll see you soon and make you better."

"I don't think they're going to do that in one appointment," said Honey.

She was being difficult and she knew it, but Noel just smiled and kissed her forehead. "Maybe not, but it'll start the process going. I'll go to your appointment with you if you want me to and I'm sure Ethan will go too. It'll be fine, Honey. You've just got to start believing that."


	15. Chapter 15

**CBloom2** , thank you for your review. Ethan is very caring so I think something like this would always upset him, but usually he'd find it a lot easier to control his feelings. He really needs someone to look after him...

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. Honey's appointment won't be easy, but it probably can't come quickly enough! The miscarriage is just too close to home at the moment.

 **Tato Potato** , Ethan is very caring. He could have insisted on getting a female doctor, but he's always very committed to his patients, which I absolutely love about him! Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for reviewing and for checking the review had sent! I love the name Mia too - I thought it would make the situation even more difficult for Ethan if the parents had reached the stage of naming the baby, even though it's very unusual to know the gender at that stage.

 **Tanith Panic** , under the circumstances, Honey could probably be a lot more difficult than she is. I'm letting her have the treatment early mostly for plot reasons - I had to wait months! - but Honey will be at the best hospital in the world! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan looked into the faces of the heartbroken couple and knew that nothing he could say would help. He swallowed hard and tried to keep his voice steady. "I really am so sorry for your loss. I hope you'll allow me to offer my condolences."

The parents were at first too shocked and bewildered, as anyone would be. Ethan had nearly broken down when he'd seen their baby, but he'd tried to keep his feelings hidden because they weren't relevant. He listened as they lamented 'Mia' and decided not to tell them that the baby would actually have been a boy. Mia had become so real to Katie and her husband Sean. To tell them Mia wouldn't have existed could have left them with two babies to mourn. Their grief was already so deep; so raw; painful even to watch. Robyn became so distraught, Ethan had to ask her to leave. This meant he had to offer all the comfort himself, knowing all the while that nothing he could say would help.

It seemed like hours had passed before Ethan had escorted them out of the hospital and into a waiting taxi. Sean had brought his car, but Ethan could see he was in no state to drive.

He watched them getting into the taxi, but his eyes were too blurred for him to see it drive off. Ethan turned slowly away. He wanted to collapse where he was and cry, but he didn't want to worry anyone or get in their way. Instead he turned and hurried back into the ED, hoping no-one would call for his assistance. He knew he was in no condition to help anyone now, though he felt he should go and look for Robyn.

The corridors looked blurred and unfamiliar. Ethan passed several people in scrubs with little idea of who they were. Luckily, none of them noticed there was anything wrong with him. Perhaps, if they did notice any shininess in his eyes, they put it down to the reflection in his glasses, but it was more likely they'd noticed nothing at all. Too concerned in the affairs of their patients to realise one of the doctors had been pushed to breaking point and beyond.

Ethan was glad of that. It was exactly how it should be. It was the patients who mattered. He didn't want anyone to know what had happened. It was Honey's business, not theirs.

Ethan was almost past the cubicles when someone bumped into him.

"Dr Hardy, please watch where you're… Ethan, what's wrong?"

Ethan recognised Lily's voice, but could barely see her through his tears. "I'm all right."

"Ethan, anyone can see that you're not all right," said Lily. To his surprise, she put her arm around him. "Come on. Come with me."

Ethan felt his tears overflowing at her kindness. The fact it was unlike Lily to attempt to offer comfort showed just how much she cared; but Ethan didn't want to be with anyone now.. "Thanks, Lily, but I just need to be on my own. I'm sorry. But please, if you could go and find Robyn and make sure she has someone with her..." His voice caught. He shrugged Lily off and ran into the loos, which were, fortunately, empty. He locked himself into a cubicle, sank down on the toilet seat and started crying. He couldn't fight it anymore. It hurt too much.

A short time later, he heard the outside door open. "Ethan?" It was Cal.

Ethan pressed his hands to his mouth, but couldn't suppress his sobs.

"Ethan, what's wrong?" Cal located Ethan's cubicle and pushed at the door. "Let me in."

Ethan wasn't sure he could have done even if he'd wanted to – and at that moment, he wasn't sure what he wanted. He didn't want to worry Cal, but it looked like he'd done that already and now he was alone, he realised he didn't want to be.

"Right: if you don't let me in, I'm climbing over the top," said Cal.

Ethan was mildly worried Cal was going to hurt himself, but he couldn't bring himself to move to unlock the door. All he could do was sit and cry, his sobs not that far off being howls now. It just hurt so much and nothing was fair… and he wanted his brother.

"I'm coming, Ethan. I'm coming." Cal opened the door of the cubicle next to him and Ethan heard him climbing onto the loo. He knew it was dangerous and he was worried, but he couldn't move. He couldn't even lift his head to see Cal.

He heard Cal grunting as he got himself over the wall and then a crash as Cal landed in the cubicle beside him. He thought he might have heard a cry of pain from Cal, but a moment later, his brother's arms were tightly around him.

"It's okay, Ethan. I'm here now. I've got you." Cal rubbed little circles on his back. "I'm not going to leave you."

Ethan, grateful Cal wasn't demanding to know what was wrong, rested his head against Cal's chest and cried some more. Cal just held him and murmured soothingly to him every so often.

Ethan began to think the tears would never stop, but finally, they did. Ethan didn't move at first, but he needed to blow his nose and he was starting to realise that it was probably quite uncomfortable for Cal to have Ethan's glasses pressed into his chest. It was uncomfortable for Ethan too, but he hadn't noticed until now.

"Sorry, Cal," muttered Ethan as he sat up and pulled a tissue from his pocket.

"Apology not needed." Cal held Ethan's glasses for him and knelt in front of him, one hand on his knee. "It's okay, Ethan. You haven't done anything wrong. It's normal. It's natural. Even I've been known to come in here and cry. Very, very occasionally."

Ethan very nearly managed to smile because he knew it was more often than' very, very occasionally'.

Cal smiled as if he knew exactly what Ethan was thinking.

"Did Lily go and find Robyn?" said Ethan belatedly.

"I don't know, but I saw Robyn with Lofty," said Cal. "She didn't look too good, but she's in the best possible hands."

Ethan took his glasses from Cal and put them back on. "So am I."

Cal looked touched. "Nice to know I didn't mess up this time." He patted Ethan's knee. "Ethan, you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I'm here if you do."

"Thank you." Ethan didn't know how to say how much he appreciated both Cal's support and his understanding so he hugged him.

Cal gave a little grunt of surprise, but he didn't seem to mind. He stood up so he could hug Ethan properly.

"How did you know I was here?" asked Ethan, his voice still shaky and thin.

Cal stroked his hair. "Lily told me you were upset. I guessed you'd be in here. My little brother wouldn't want anyone to see him crying."

Ethan thought about being embarrassed that Lily had seen him cry, but instead he just felt grateful because Lily had found Cal for him. "I'm glad you came."

"I'm glad too," said Cal.

"And I do want to talk to you, but I need to go back to work now."

Cal kept hugging him. "No way are you going back to work. I'm taking you home."

"No. No, I couldn't," said Ethan without conviction. "I can still work. I'm sure I'll be all right."

"At least let me take you home for a long lunchbreak?" said Cal. "You can't go treating patients the way you look now."

Ethan decided Cal probably had a point. "Okay."

"Good man." Cal patted his shoulder. "Wait here and I'll go and get your stuff. But if you lock the door again after I go out, please unlock the door for me when I come back because it scared me a bit, climbing over the wall."

Ethan looked up, concerned. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that!" Cal gave him another hug. "I was only scared because I thought I was going to land on your foot. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Will you tell Zoe?" said Ethan. "We should tell someone we're going."

Cal nodded. "That's a good idea."

Ethan had a feeling Zoe wouldn't be completely surprised. Once Cal had gone, Ethan stayed where he was for a few minutes and then went to wash his face. It didn't do anything for the redness and swelling around Ethan's eyes, but he found it did make him feel a little bit calmer. When the door opened, he scuttled towards the nearest cubicle, but it was only Cal with Ethan's bag and clothes.

"Zoe says it's fine. She says you can have the rest of the day off if you needed, but I told her I didn't rate my chances of convincing you." Cal lifted Ethan's chin and examined his face. "You still look a bit like you've been watching _Gone with the Wind_ – and yes, I do still think that title sounds rude – but I shouldn't think most people will look too closely." He gave Ethan his clothes. There you are, Nibbles: get yourself changed and then we can go."


	16. Chapter 16

**Tato Potato** , when Cal tries, he really is an amazing brother! But he's been set a great example by Ethan. Thank you for your review!

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review - I'm pleased you enjoyed the chapter. I love it when the brothers are there for each other!

 **ETWentHome** , yes, whatever happens, Ethan isn't alone. I'm sure Cal will want to help all he can! Thank you for your review.

 **CBloom2** , I couldn't let Ethan be that upset without having caring Cal to comfort him! There's more in this chapter. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm glad the chapter made you laugh - I thought it was entirely depressing! I'm so happy you're enjoying it. Thank you for your review.

* * *

As promised, Cal didn't push Ethan to tell him what was wrong, but he was kind and thoughtful, and only went over the top once or twice. At first, they talked of other matters, Cal clearly being very careful not to say anything that might upset Ethan, but Ethan was constantly aware of the ache inside his heart.

He waited until Cal had finished telling him his football predictions for the season (he was convinced Holby City and Holby United would be fighting it out for the title, with the Blues just edging it) and then spoke quietly. "I had a… a patient today."

He half-expected Cal to make some sarcastic comment, but instead he just nodded, waited a while and then asked what was wrong with the patient.

"She had a… a…" Ethan stopped in frustration. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he say the word? It hadn't even happened to Honey. He felt his eyes fill with tears again. "She… had a miscarriage."

Cal looked slightly confused, but then understanding flashed across his face and he pulled Ethan closer to him. "It's never good to see someone go through that, but anything like that is going to upset you at the moment. And that's okay."

"But Honey wasn't even pregnant," said Ethan as the tears fell.

He saw sadness reflected in Cal's eyes. "Emotionally, I think she was. She'd got the idea into her head and she was you know, emotionally connected to the idea. The emotions aren't going to go away just because there's no physical reason to feel that way."

"I can understand why Honey would be upset," said Ethan. "But why is it upsetting me so much? There probably wasn't more than half an hour or so when I believed I was going to be a dad. I didn't even know she might be pregnant till yesterday. Then I thought the baby wasn't mine. But I feel like…" He stopped and looked at Cal through tear-filled eyes. "I wanted it, Cal. I wanted that baby."

"I know," said Cal softly. "I know you did, Ethan."

"It seemed so real. I thought it was real. And once I knew it was mine, I felt so excited and happy and… and proud. Proud of Honey. Proud I was going to be a father. My emotions changed so quickly. One minute, I thought the baby wasn't mine and I was devastated. Then I realised it was: that Honey and I had created something incredible and magical. And then…" Ethan felt more tears filling his eyes. He tried to control them. He couldn't.

"Oh, Ethan," said Cal, almost as though he was in pain. He put his arms around his sobbing brother.

"And then Zoe said there was no baby."

* * *

Cal put two cups of tea in front of them and sat back down beside Ethan. "Okay?" he said softly as he put his arm around him.

Ethan nodded and tried to smile. He wasn't okay and they both knew it, but he was in control now. This time, he told himself, he would stay in control. He needed to get over it because Honey was suffering so much more than he was and she needed him to be strong. "When do you have to go back to work?"

"Probably quite soon," said Cal apologetically. "But only if you think you'll be okay. I'll have my phone with me and if you want to talk about anything, I'll be there. If you need me to come home, I'll try to sneak away. If I can do it for my girlfriends, I can do it for my little brother."

Ethan gave a shaky smile. "I'm not sure I'd like the kind of thing you do for your girlfriends. But I was thinking about going back to work with you. I'm sure I could deal with anything that isn't babies."

"I think you probably could," said Cal, his arm still around Ethan. "You can usually deal with pretty much anything, no matter what. I don't know how you do it, to be honest. Even now, you'd probably be running rings round me." He looked protectively at Ethan. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you!"

"If I can work, then I should do it," said Ethan. "I can't just take time off. The ED needs me."

"The ED doesn't need you this afternoon," said Cal. "Zoe said so. And I'm sure you're not trying to imply that you know better than Zoe."

"No, of course not," said Ethan at once.

Cal smiled. "So take the rest of the day off, okay? Besides, I've already told a couple of people I was taking you home because you're ill and it's going to look really weird if you show up and start working again."

Ethan thought about it. He had to admit he didn't really feel in the mood to work and there were more important things he could be doing. "You're right. Grieving should come before working."

"Exactly," said Cal. "You stay here and grieve."

"Oh, no, I didn't mean me," said Ethan. "I'm going to go and see Honey. She must be feeling so much worse than I am."

Cal shook his head. "Don't go and see her now. Give it a couple of hours. If she is feeling awful, it's not going to help if she knows you've left work early and been bawling your eyes out. Though of course you do have every reason to bawl your eyes out," he added kindly.

Ethan smiled shakily. He hadn't seen what he looked like, but he knew Cal had a point.

"But I do think you need to talk to her," said Cal. "If you're both going through the same thing, it's better if you go through it together and support each other. When something sad happens like this, it can either bring you closer together or push you further apart. I know you and Honey love each other. I don't want to see you push each other apart."

"We won't," said Ethan. "I won't let us."

Cal nodded and patted Ethan's shoulder. "And don't forget I'm here for both of you. I always will be."

* * *

Honey ignored the ringing of the doorbell. She was crying too hard to see anyone and Ethan's silence hadn't helped. She'd only had a couple of texts from him today and nothing since mid-morning. She told herself he was just busy with work and he'd phone her or even visit her at lunchtime, but there had been no sign of him.

Honey had no trouble working out why. She'd raised his hopes by offering to give him a baby. He'd been so happy. Even though he hadn't been aware of wanting a baby, he'd wanted it once he'd believed it was there.

Then he'd found out there was no baby and he'd been devastated. He'd tried to hide it and had done a good job of it, but Honey had seen his aura. Ethan was desperately sad and perhaps the worst thing was that this could have been avoided. If Honey had taken a pregnancy test, they would have known she wasn't pregnant. Ethan wouldn't have been able to get his hopes up. He wouldn't have been able to fall in love with the idea of a baby.

Even if she'd just admitted she hadn't had a pregnancy test, instead of letting Ethan assume she had, she would have saved him a lot of heartache because he'd have known it wasn't definite. He could have told her it wasn't definite. He could have told her, at great and tedious length, at least twenty other conditions that could have caused the same symptoms.

But he hadn't been able to do that. She hadn't given them the chance. She'd just let him assume and believe and then get hurt.

The doorbell rang again. A few moments later, Honey's phone rang. She was going to ignore it as she'd ignored every call she'd received today, but then she recognised the ringtone. It was Ethan.

Honey answered the phone. "Ethan?" she said, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Hello, darling," said Ethan. His voice sounded a bit odd too. "I'm outside the flat. It's okay if you don't want to see me, but I'm worried about you."

"It's a shame you weren't worried about me two hours ago," sobbed Honey bitterly. Did he have no idea how it had felt, just lying here, waiting for him to call, fearing he never would and finally telling herself it was all her fault?

She heard Ethan gasp. "What? What do you… Honey, what have you… Honey, please let me in right now!"

"What? What did I say?" said Honey blankly. She'd expected to make Ethan feel a little bit upset and guilty, but he sounded terrified out of his mind.

She heard Ethan rattle the front door. He sounded like he was crying too. "Honey, if you've done anything to hurt yourself, please let me in! If you don't, I'm breaking the door down!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. They are both quite upset! We've just got to hope Honey opens the door so they can give each other a hug! It won't solve anything, but at least they'd be together.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , that really would be terrible - they're both feeling bad enough already without Ethan injuring himself! You can't have an upset Ethan without a caring Cal. Thank you for your review.

 **Parodoxilla** , I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I can make Honey pregnant - I don't think I've got the right equipment! But maybe Ethan would be willing to do something about it... thank you for your review!

 **beckyboogle** , you don't have to wait any longer! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one too. Thank you for your review!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I think Ethan's adorable when he's being forceful too! Though I do think he's adorable quite a lot of the time. I hope this chapter is emotional too.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review - I love writing about Cal comforting Ethan! I agree that Ethan and Honey need to be there for each other now.

* * *

"Of course I haven't hurt myself!" said Honey. She hadn't even thought about that. She'd got as far as wishing she was dead, but doing something about it would require thinking, planning, moving… she couldn't do anything like that now.

But when she heard Ethan sob her name, she found she could move after all. She ran to the front door, ignoring the dizziness and nausea, and tore it open.

"I haven't, Ethan! I promise. I haven't done anything like that."

Ethan threw his arms around her and held her tightly. "Oh, Honey, thank goodness. I just thought… when you said about not worrying about you two hours ago…"

"I just meant I missed you," sobbed Honey. "I wanted to see you; talk to you; be held by you…"

"I'm sorry. You're right. I should have phoned you at the very least," said Ethan. "I'm sorry, Honey. I have no excuses. But I'm here now, darling. You can see me and talk to me, and I'll hold you and not let go."

Honey clung to him and cried, too dizzy now to stand upright on her own. She didn't know if Ethan was aware of that or not: a moment later, he'd picked her up in his arms and carried her to the sofa.

He sat down with Honey on his lap. She curled up against him, weeping into his shoulder and he held her as though he had no plans ever to let go.

"I'm here, Honey," he whispered as he stroked her hair. "I'm here now, darling. I've got you. And I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

After what seemed like an ocean's-worth of tears and a forest's-worth of tissues, Honey stopped crying and sat silently on Ethan's lap. His arms were tightly around her. They hadn't talked yet: Honey was exhausted. Ethan was clearly upset too, but as kind and loving as ever.

Honey wondered now how she could even have considered thinking he would ever not support her.

She felt Ethan's head move, then his lips pressed against her hair. "I love you," he whispered.

Honey wanted to tell him she loved him too, but her throat felt funny after so much crying and speaking required an effort that was impossible for her at present. If Ethan's arms weren't holding her so firmly, she thought she might have collapsed. She felt so weak and tired.

"Have you eaten anything today?" asked Ethan, his voice still soft.

Honey nodded. She'd eaten breakfast but nothing since then.

Ethan placed his hand on her cheek, gently turning her face towards his. "How about if I make you a sandwich?"

Honey shook her head and clung to him.

"You need to eat, sweetheart," said Ethan. "I'll be as quick as I can."

Reluctantly, Honey climbed off his lap. He kissed her and went into the kitchen. He moved awkwardly around it, unsure where to find anything, but Honey couldn't find the strength to go and help him. She leaned back against the sofa, her eyes filling with tears again. She was amazed she had any left to cry.

"Here you are," said Ethan when he returned. "Honey sandwiches for my Honey, who really is a honey."

It wasn't really funny, but Honey tried to smile because she loved him and it looked as though he was suffering too. She hadn't noticed it before, but she could see now that Ethan had been crying. She also realised that Ethan should be at work.

"Are you okay?" she asked as Ethan sat beside her, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

Ethan nodded and kissed her head. "I'm fine, darling."

"You look like you've been crying," said Honey.

"Oh. I… I have a slight eye infection."

"Is that why you're off work?" said Honey.

Ethan nodded. "Yes, that's why. Why don't you try to eat your sandwich? Honey has great properties of healing, you know."

Honey nibbled on one corner of the sandwich. "You don't ever have to lie, you know."

"I know," said Ethan, a bit nervously.

"If it's true about the eye infection, that's fine," said Honey. "But if you have been crying, you should tell me. I love you and I know you're here for me, but I want to be here for you too."

Ethan hesitated. "Okay. I don't have an eye infection. I'm sorry."

"Did something bad happen with a patient?" said Honey.

Ethan hesitated and for a moment she thought he was going to say yes, but he didn't. "I did find work quite difficult today, which is why I left early, but only because I'm sad about what's happened to you. I know you were really falling in love with the idea of being a mother. I'm really sorry that's not going to happen – or at least not yet."

Honey put her sandwich on the floor and looked sadly at Ethan. "Is that really the only reason? You didn't want the baby even a little bit for yourself?"

"Well, I didn't have very much time to think about being a dad," said Ethan.

"Okay," said Honey in a small voice. Ethan was right, of course. She couldn't blame him for not wanting a baby as much as she did. She knew that was often the way with men, though she'd really hoped Ethan was different.

"But… but it was enough time for me," said Ethan, his voice full of emotion. "I was very proud of you, Honey. And very excited about being a dad. So of course I'm sad there's not going to be a baby."

Honey could tell he meant it. She looked at him sadly and knew it was her fault. "I'm sorry I let you down, Ethan."

"Honey, you didn't!" Ethan caught her face in his hands and his tear-filled brown eyes looked into hers. "Honey, you did not and have never and will never let me down. None of this is your fault. You have a condition whose symptoms can resemble pregnancy. It's something that happens to some people for no real reason: not because of anything you have or haven't done."

"But you're not proud of me now, are you?" said Honey.

Ethan kissed her. "Of course I am. I don't feel any less proud of you than I did when I thought you were pregnant. I just feel proud of you for different reasons. Now I feel proud of you for coping so well when you were ill and had so many symptoms that must have affected your day-to-day life. I am very proud of you and I admire your courage and determination very much."

"But I couldn't give you a baby," wailed Honey.

"Not yet," said Ethan. "But you will do if that's what you want. It's just the wrong time. That's all."

"I… I just felt like it was there and someone has snatched it away," said Honey, beginning to cry again.

Ethan put her sandwich on the floor and pulled her into his arms. "Nobody's snatched it, Honey. It's still there and it's waiting for us, whenever the time is right for it to come into the world. It's just a bit further away than we thought it was. But whenever we're ready, our baby will come to us."

"I'm ready now," whispered Honey.

Ethan kissed her forehead. "So am I, sweetheart. It might be better to wait until your health improves – but that might not be very long. We've only got a week to wait until the appointment and I'm fairly sure they'll give you some medication in your first appointment. We'll probably have to wait a couple of months for things to settle down, but once your thyroid levels are normal, there's no reason why we can't try for a baby."

Honey stared at him in disbelief. "You want a baby now?" she whispered.

"If you want a baby now, sweetheart, then so do I," said Ethan. "I love you so much, Honey. I hope we'll always be together and I've always hoped a family would be part of that. Our experiences recently showed that I don't want to wait; that I'm ready whenever you are."

"I'm ready now," said Honey, tears coming into her eyes again.

Ethan looked teary again as he bent his head to hers. He kissed her fiercely, then more gently. Then he carefully lifted her off his lap and onto the sofa.

"Where are you going?" said Honey, confused.

Ethan took her hand and squeezed it. "Not far, my darling. Not far." He got off the sofa and then knelt down in front of her. "Honey Wright… you are the… oh gosh, I'm kneeling on your sandwich." He picked it up and gave it to her. "I'm sorry. Where was I? Oh, yes. Honey Wright, you are the most beautiful, most special, most incredible woman I've ever met. When I'm with you, I can never be completely sad because with you, I always have a reason to smile. You make me happier, stronger and better in every way. You've enhanced my life every day you've been part of it and if you'll only say yes, I know you'll do that every day for the rest of our lives. So I suppose I'd better tell you what I want to say yes to. It probably doesn't make very much sense if I don't. Honey, my darling, will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife… and bearing our child?"

"Oh, yes, Ethan!" Honey threw herself onto the floor beside him. She sent her sandwich flying, but she didn't care. She wrapped her arms tightly around Ethan's neck and kissed him passionately; desperately. He responded in kind, his lips trembling with emotion but clinging to hers. ""Yes, yes, yes! I love you, Ethan," she sobbed between kisses. "I love you so much. Of course I'll marry you."


	18. Chapter 18

**Paradoxilla** , thank you for your review. I was hoping you would be happy about the engagement. I actually misread your review slightly - I thought it said 'Cal maid of honour', which was a bit of a surprise!

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I really hope they can be there for each other throughout anything because I'm going to put them through a lot more before the story finishes!

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I'm really pleased you enjoyed the chapter. Here's the update - and Noel's about to get a surprise.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm old-fashioned in some ways too so I love Ethan's old-fashionedness! It's lovely to know something I've written has made you feel comfortable and warm - though I'm not sure this chapter will! Thank you for your review.

* * *

They were sitting on the sofa, still hugging, when they heard Noel's key in the lock and his voice shouting hello to Honey. Honey looked at Ethan again, unable to believe such a wonderful, clever man could really love her. "Shall we tell my dad now?"

"Oh gosh!" said Ethan, horrified. He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Please don't say anything yet, Honey. I really need to-" He stopped as Noel entered. "Hi, Noel."

Noel looked surprised but far from unhappy. "Hi, Ethan! I didn't know you were here."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I-I-I can go if you want me to," babbled Ethan.

"No, don't be silly," said Noel. "I'm glad you're here. I was worried about Honey being on her own, but I know you'll look after her better than I could."

"No, don't be silly. You look after me brilliant!" said Honey.

Ethan cleared his throat nervously. "Um, Noel."

"Yeah?" said Noel. "You want to stay for dinner, Ethan? That's fine with me. Mac's gone out with Dixie so it's just the three of us."

"I-I was actually wondering if I might have a word," said Ethan, stammering slightly. "Privately."

Honey didn't know what was going on, but she knew she could trust Ethan. She could trust him with her secrets, her life, and the children they would have. "I'll wait here for you."

Ethan kissed her. "I hope we won't be long."

Ethan tried to work out if this was more or less nerve-wracking than asking Noel if he could take Honey on a date. At least he knew that Noel didn't hate him and that he trusted him with Honey, but marriage was a big step.

"So, what's up?" said Noel. A worried frown appeared between his brows. "There's nothing wrong with Honey, is there? Something I don't know about?"

Ethan immediately felt awful because there was so much he didn't know about. He understood why Honey didn't want Noel to feel sad about his almost-grandchild, but Ethan thought would rather want to know so he could support Honey.

His feelings weren't important however. It was Honey's decision and she didn't want Noel to know.

"Um, I was wondering, if perhaps, if you didn't mind, I would like to ask you something," said Ethan.

Noel laughed. "Don't tell me you're going to ask my permission to take Honey to bed."

Ethan blushed bright red.

"Oh, you are?" said Noel, and looked just as embarrassed as Ethan.

"No, well, perhaps yes," said Ethan. "I would like to ask you, if it's not too much trouble, if you might possibly be kind enough to let me, well, if you would give me your permission to-"

Noel held up his hands. "Ethan, you're both adults. Go for it."

"I'm sorry. I'm absolutely terrible at this," said Ethan. "I know I should do it, but it's as though something's got stuck in my throat and I can't swallow. I'm so unprepared. I haven't even bought a... It's not that I don't want to give your daughter one because I do. I just wasn't expecting it to come up just yet, but then it did come up and I just went down on my knees and just went for it. And she said: 'Oh yes, Ethan! Oh yes, yes, yes!', and I thought I was going to explode all over your living room floor. Noel, I want your daughter more than anything and all I can do is hope with all my heart that you'll let me have her."

Noel didn't say anything at all. All he could do was stare.

"So, the answer's no?" said Ethan. "That's… that's perfectly all right. I understand."

Finally, Noel spoke. "Ethan, I like you and I respect you, as a man and as a doctor. I know you'll always do the right thing by Honey. But some things, I just don't want to know about."

Ethan stared at him in horror. "So… so you don't want to come?"

Noel actually took a step backwards.

"You won't be there to watch us?" said Ethan. He felt like he might cry. "But Honey's your daughter."

"Exactly!"

"Oh, is it me?" said Ethan. He felt tears crowding his eyes. "I know you probably had a different kind of man in mind for Honey. But we love each other and it's such a big thing. We want you to be there from beginning to end. We can't do this without you."

Noel said nothing.

Ethan tried again. "I understand that you probably don't want Honey to leave you just yet, but we won't be leaving Holby. We have our jobs here and family here - and I'll be proud to call you part of my family."

A strange look came into Noel's eyes. "Ethan. Hold up a minute. What exactly are you asking me?"

"For your permission to ask Honey to marry me," said Ethan.

"Oh, I see!" Noel came forward and thrust his fist towards Ethan. Ethan froze in horror, only to have his hand seized by Noel and shaken warmly. "Of course you have my permission, Ethan. Of course. Nothing would make me happier. I would be delighted to call you my son-in-law."

"Really?" said Ethan, hardly able to believe it. "Then… just now…"

"Let's just say we got our wires crossed and forget about it," said Noel. "Now I'm going to stay in here. You go in there and ask her."

Ethan found himself pushed back into the living room.

"What did he say?" said Honey.

Ethan was smiling as he sat beside her and put his arms around her. "He said yes, darling."

"Oh, Ethan, I'm so happy!" said Honey, and hugged him tightly.

Ethan smiled. "Me too. He told me to come in here and ask you, but as we've already done that, perhaps we should talk about fixing a date instead?"

"I think we should get married as soon as possible," said Honey.

Ethan tried not to gulp. "Yes. Of course. As soon as possible. Whatever you want."

"So maybe in about six months to a year?" said Honey.

"Is that as soon as possible?" said Ethan.

Honey nodded. "There's so much to sort out, Ethan. I need to sort out my dress and the marquee and the horse and carriage…"

Ethan tried not to look horrified. "I thought you were joking about all that."

Honey kissed him. "Ethan, I really think my dad would kill both of us if I got married without a dress on! But I was joking about the horse and carriage and the marquee. But we'll need to find the right church and choose the bridesmaids and the best man and the flowers and it could take months to find the perfect dress that won't actually bankrupt me."

"I love you," said Ethan passionately, and moved his lips towards hers.

"I love… oh God, Ethan: I think I'm going to be sick!"

"That's not _quite_ the reaction I was hoping for," said Ethan, as he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bathroom. He held her hair with one hand and supported her shoulders with the other as her retches became sobs.

"I hate this!" she cried. "I was so happy, and now this. I hate it, Ethan. I just want to get better."

"I know, sweetheart. But you will ne be better soon," said Ethan. He gave her one tissue to wipe her mouth and another for her eyes. "You should hear about your appointment in the next few days."

"I already have," said Honey. "It's next week."

Ethan was surprised but delighted. "That's wonderful." He kissed her on the cheek. "Come on, sweetheart. You should probably lie down for a bit. You've had enough excitement."

Ethan helped her into bed and then went to the kitchen. Noel was still in there, pacing.

"What did she say, Ethan?"

Despite his worry for his girlfriend… no, his fiancée… Ethan couldn't help but smile. "She said yes, Noel! We're probably going to get married in six months to a year."

Noel whacked Ethan painfully on the back. "That's great news. Can I go and see her now?"

"Yes, but she's worn out from all the excitement so she's going to have a lie-down," said Ethan. He did his best to keep his voice reassuring.

The delight on Noel's face turned to worry. "Poor kid. It's really not fair."

"No, but it is something that can be sorted out," said Ethan. He filled a glass with water for Honey and he and Noel went to Honey's bedroom.

Noel sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Honey's forehead. "Ethan, I think she's got a temperature. She's all sweaty."

"Yeah, thanks, Dad!" said Honey. "Just what Ethan wanted to know about his fiancée."

Ethan bent to kiss her. "You know I don't care about things like that." He held his own hand against Honey's forehead. "No: her temperature's normal. Heat intolerance is another symptom of hyperthyroidism."

Noel stroked her hair. "Isn't there anything I can do?"

"You could get Honey a damp cloth," said Ethan. "That might cool her down a bit." He handed Honey the glass of water. "Drink this, sweetheart. You need to keep hydrated."

Honey gave a small sigh. "And I need my medication too, Dad."

Noel nodded. "I'll get it for you. Then I'll make a start on dinner and crack open a bottle of champagne."

Ethan hesitated. "Honey shouldn't have too much champagne. Not with propranolol. Both alcohol and propranolol can lower blood pressure and as Honey's wasn't high to begin with, it's a particular risk."

"Maybe we should save the champagne for the engagement party?" said Honey.

Ethan smiled and kissed her. He wasn't overly keen on parties, but of course they would have an engagement party if it would make Honey happy. "That sounds like a great idea."


	19. Chapter 19

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review - I'm pleased you enjoyed the chapter. I think Ethan would be the perfect fiancé!

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , Ethan does seem like the sort of man who would propose in this situation! Thank you for your review.

 **Paradoxilla** , I wasn't planning on including the wedding in the story, but plans can always be changed! Thank you for your review.

 **beckyboogle** , they're going through so much, they deserve a bit of happiness! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , I'm glad you enjoyed Noel and Ethan's conversation. I thought Ethan would struggle with it, but I didn't want a repeat of Ethan asking permission to date Honey. Thank you for your review!

 **CBloom2** , it is a shame, but Honey in the series turned out not to be a completely different person - and she didn't deserve Ethan! I hope my Honey is more likeable. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan had expected Cal to be happy for him. Perhaps that was silly of him, considering their relationship had always been fraught with difficulties, but they had been getting on so much better lately and Cal had been very supportive about the non-pregnancy.

So he'd had no qualms whatsoever about telling his brother about his engagement and it wasn't until Cal stared at him as though he was mad that he even considered that there might be a problem.

"You don't think you're rushing into things just a little bit?" said Cal.

Ethan tried to hide his hurt. "How are we rushing into things? We've known each other for about a year."

"Yes, but you didn't see each other for about five months of that year and you were just friends until only a couple of months ago," said Cal.

The fact this was true only made Ethan more annoyed. "I thought you liked Honey and me as a couple!"

"I do like you as a couple," said Cal. "This is nothing to do with that. I think you're a great couple and I really like Honey."

"Then what's your problem?" said Ethan, still hurt.

"I'm just saying don't rush into anything. You've been through a lot lately and you've got to go through a lot more that's likely to change you both. Okay, if there was a baby on the way, maybe marriage would be a good thing because you are old-fashioned like that and a baby needs a secure family life. But Honey's not pregnant. There's no reason to rush into anything. So just take things slowly and enjoy what you've got." He put his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "You've got lots of time, Ethan."

"And what made you such an expert on relationships?" said Ethan bitterly as he shrugged Cal's hand away. "Besides, you're wrong."

Cal was getting annoyed too now. "It sounds like I'm wrong about everything the way you're going on."

"You know, I think I do actually agree with you for once!" said Ethan.

Cal breathed deeply a couple of times. "Why don't you tell me what I'm wrong about?" he asked with a reasonable attempt at calmness.

For some reason, this infuriated Ethan more. At the same time, he felt completely devastated him that Cal could behave like this after being so supportive only a few hours ago. "Honey and I _are_ going to have a baby."

Cal didn't look even slightly angry after this pronouncement. He looked deeply upset. "Oh, Ethan…" he said sadly, and moved closer to his brother. "Ethan, I know you wanted the baby. I know you loved the baby. I don't want to hurt you, but you do know there isn't a baby, don't you?"

"Maybe not yet!" said Ethan defiantly. "But Honey and I are going to have a baby. As soon as we can."

"So… you're going to try for a baby," said Cal. There was relief mingled with the concern now.

"We're going to do a whole lot more than try!" said Ethan. "We're going to succeed."

He folded his arms and waited to see what Cal would have to say to that, but Cal carried on looking upset. "Ethan, I'm sure you will have a baby one day. I hope you will. I'd love to be an uncle. But this is the same as the marriage. You're rushing into when you have so much to think about already. And do you really think this is a good time for Honey to be thinking about having a baby? You're a doctor, Ethan. You need to consider Honey's health first."

Anger burst through Ethan again. "Don't tell me how to do my job and how to look after my fiancée!"

"Ethan." Cal tried again. "You've had a really difficult, emotional couple of days. You've gone from the rock bottom of thinking Honey cheated on you, to the euphoria of thinking you're going to be a dad, to the rock bottom of discovering you're not having a baby, to the euphoria of getting married and trying for a baby. Think about it, Ethan. Your emotions have been up and down and all over the place. It's not a good time to be making any big decisions."

"But they're not big decisions," said Ethan. "Honey and I love each other and we'd already accepted we were going to have a baby."

"Because you had no choice about it," said Cal. "All you could do was accept what was happening and go with it. Some parts of life are outside your control."

"Exactly!" said Ethan.

Cal's voice was gentle. "But having a baby isn't outside your control now, Ethan. The thing that's outside your control is Honey's health. That's what you need to focus on. Once Honey's health is stable, which it should be in a few months, then you can think about marriage and babies and discuss it with Honey's endocrinologist."

"No, we need to discuss it at the appointment next week," said Ethan. "The usual treatment for hyperthyroidism is carbimazole, which is risky during pregnancy. As we are considering pregnancy, it would be better for Honey to take propylthiouracil from the start."

"And if Honey's problems can't be controlled by medication?" said Cal. "What then?"

This possibility had occurred to Ethan too, but it wasn't a possibility he wanted to think about. "We'll cross that bridge _if_ we come to it, Cal. There's no reason to assume that will happen."

"There's no reason to assume it won't," said Cal.

"You're impossible!" shouted Ethan, and stormed off to his room. As soon as he'd reached it, he began to cry. He wasn't sure why he was crying _again_ , but he was so disappointed. He'd really believed Cal would be happy.

Ethan sat on the edge of the bed and buried his face in his hands. A moment later, he heard a light knock on the door. Ethan ignored it, but he had a feeling Cal would come in anyway and he was right.

"Ethan," said Cal sadly, and Ethan felt the bed dip as Cal sat down. "Come here. It's okay."

"I don't know what's wrong with me," said Ethan as he let Cal hold him.

"Nothing's wrong with you," said Cal. "It's just been a very emotional couple of days for you, like I said. Things will calm down and you'll be back to your usual, unflappable self - and then the only way I'll get to hug you is if I chase you round the flat ten times first."

"But I love her," Ethan sobbed into Cal's shoulder. "I'm not just doing this to try to make things better. I've wanted this for a long time. I just never believed I'd dare do anything about it. I really do love Honey and we want to get married and have a baby."

"Then you should," said Cal. "And I hope you do. I just don't want you and Honey to rush into anything when you're both emotional. If you must get engaged, at least make it a long engagement."

"It will be," said Ethan, still tearful. "We're not going to do it straight away. We thought six months to a year. We weren't thinking of getting married tomorrow. We want to plan it properly and make it perfect. We were going to start trying for a baby after we'd seen the endocrinologist."

"Oh. I… I see," said Cal.

Ethan sat up, half-laughing, half-crying. "This is still me, you know, Cal. Since when do I rush into anything? Did you seriously think we were going to elope tomorrow?"

"No, of course not… well, yes, possibly…"

"Well, we're not going to," said Ethan as he dried his tears. "You can put your mind at rest on that score."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," said Cal seriously. "I…" He lowered his eyes. "I don't want you to feel the way I felt."

"I won't," said Ethan more calmly. "Honey and I are closer than ever. We love each other, Cal. Please: all I want is for you to be happy for us."

"I am happy for you, Ethan," said Cal. "I really am."


	20. Chapter 20

_Thank you to everyone who has helped me to get over 100 reviews on this story. I'm so happy you're enjoying it._

 **Tato Potato** , I love the brothers too! I love it when they support each other. I try to give them as many opportunities as I can! Thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 **CBloom2** , I'm keeping nice Honey for this story. This Honey has much better taste and knows how lucky she is to have Ethan! Ethan is very happy, though he is still worried about Honey's health. Thank you for your review!

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I hope Ethan and Honey will have a baby too - I don't know what kind of mum Honey would be, but we know Ethan is great with babies. Thank you for your review!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for both your reviews. I'm happy you enjoyed Ethan and Noel's misunderstanding. Honey probably couldn't have a more supportive fiancé and Ethan couldn't have a more supportive brother!

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review! Ethan and Honey are definitely rushing into things a bit and it's not always a good idea to make big decisions when you're emotional, but that doesn't always mean an unhappy marriage so let's hope it doesn't for Ethan and Honey.

* * *

Honey was happy. She really was happy, but there was one thing bothering her.

"Ethan hasn't said anything about an engagement ring," she told Noel.

Noel smiled indulgently. "Hey, give the man a chance! You've only been engaged two minutes. If I know Ethan, I'm sure he's out buying one right now."

"That's kind of the problem," said Honey.

Noel looked confused. "So you don't want an engagement ring?"

"No, I do," said Honey. "But the thing about Ethan is he's old-fashioned. I want him to take me round the shops so we can choose a ring together, but he'll probably want to do it all himself."

"Have you talked to him about it?" said Noel.

Honey shook her head miserably. "I can't talk to Ethan about things like that. He might think I'm asking him to spend tons of money on me and I'm not."

"Well... he might choose a ring you really like," said Noel, who was doing his best to be supportive, but Honey could tell he didn't really understand about engagement rings. "You never know!"

"If he does, then great," said Honey. "But you know Ethan. He looks hot in a suit; he looks hot in a blazer; he even looks hot in scrubs…"

"I'll have to take your word for it on that one, Honey."

"…but he doesn't have a clue about dressing casually, does he?"

"No…" said Noel slowly, and Honey could almost see the cogs turning as he tried to work out what to say. Then Noel's face flashed with triumph. "But engagement rings aren't exactly casual, are they? Maybe a guy who knows how to dress smart will also know how to choose a really smart ring."

Honey nodded: she could definitely see her father's logic. "It might work like that, Dad. But dressing casually is a bit outside his experience and he can't really do it. So wouldn't buying engagement rings be even more outside his experience?"

"I hope so," said Noel, who clearly didn't like the idea that Ethan might have proposed to someone else before Honey. "I mean… not necessarily."

Honey sighed. "But I think a ring should be something we choose together."

"I agree, but sometimes you have to do things Ethan's way," said Noel. "The important thing is that you're marrying Ethan. That's not nearly as important as what you've got on your finger."

"You're probably right," admitted Honey. She still didn't feel happy, but maybe she was just being silly. "Thanks, Dad."

Noel smiled. "Anything for my girl."

* * *

Ethan came to see her the next day. Honey wasn't feeling that great, but she couldn't help smiling when she saw Ethan on her doorstep. His face seemed almost radiant with happiness as he bent to kiss her. "You look beautiful."

"I haven't even washed my hair or put my extensions in," said Honey, beaming up at him as she wondered how someone like Ethan could ever consider marrying her.

"Your hair looks beautiful," said Ethan, running his fingers through it. "Just like you."

"I love you, Ethan." Honey kissed him.

"I love you too, Honey." They sat on the sofa together, Ethan's arm wrapped around Honey. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"Not that great," said Honey. "I vommed twice this morning and I still feel queasy. This stupid beta blocker definitely makes me feel worse."

Ethan brushed his thumb across her cheekbone. "I'm sorry, darling. I wish I'd thought of prescribing you an antiemetic, but I suppose I wasn't thinking straight. Everything happened so quickly."

"What's an antiemetic?" asked Honey. She loved Ethan, but he did use a lot of long words.

"A type of medication that helps with nausea and vomiting," said Ethan.

Honey looked at him hopefully. "That sounds really good."

"It does, but I think we're too close to your endocrinology appointment now," said Ethan regretfully. "If I prescribe you something new now, it could affect your blood results. The endocrinologist will want to know how the propranolol is affecting you - but he won't know if the bloods are showing the effects of the propranolol or temporary side effects caused by the antiemetics. Medications have so many possible side effects. Did you know a side effect of some antiemetics is vomiting? It's very rare, but it is known to happen. I've also heard of anti-depressants causing depression and it's actually quite common for painkillers to cause headaches."

"Couldn't you just give me some anyway?" said Honey plaintively.

Ethan shook his head. "I'm sorry. I really can't." Unexpectedly, he smiled. "Of course, I shouldn't really be prescribing anything for you now we're getting married!"

"How come?" said Honey.

"Well, I'm not supposed to treat family," explained Ethan. "And we're practically family."

Honey looked confused. "But I thought Cal saved your life after you had that crash."

"Yes, but that was only because there wasn't anyone else," said Ethan. "Mrs Beauchamp, Lily, Dr Ashford and I were all injured. Dr Hanna and Dr Keogh weren't working here then and we couldn't get hold of enough people to treat all of us without involving Cal. Even as it was, Cal could only treat me because Mrs Beauchamp was supervising."

"Then could I ask another doctor?" said Honey, holding her hand against her stomach.

Ethan nodded. "Yes, of course. You're always entitled to second opinion. I'm sure Dr Hanna – Zoe – would be happy to discuss it with you. She's more senior than I am as well so she'll know much better than I do."

Honey smiled and gave him a hug. "I bet you know just as much about anything as Zoe or Mrs Beauchamp or anyone else! But I'll think about it."

Ethan kissed her. "Yes, you think about it. Whatever you decide, you know I'll support you." He smiled. "I'm going to marry you!"

Suddenly, the way Honey was feeling didn't seem to matter nearly as much. "Yeah, that's true. We're getting married, Ethan! We're getting married! To each other!"

Ethan kissed her again. "Speaking of getting married, I've got something for you. A ring."

"Lovely," said Honey, and tried not to show her disappointment. Ethan was old-fashioned, after all. It was natural for him to assume it was up to him to choose the ring.

Ethan's smile dimmed. "Is everything all right, sweetheart?"

"Yes! Of course!" said Honey. "I just, um…" She sighed. "I don't want to moan and I'm sure you've bought me a lovely ring. But…"

"But what?" said Ethan, clearly confused.

The ache in Honey's heart rivalled the one in her stomach. She didn't want to hurt him, but she was the one who had to wear the engagement ring. Was this one of the times where she ignored her own feelings in favour of keeping Ethan happy? Or was it so important, she had to be honest with him?

Noel said it didn't matter what kind of ring she wore as long as Ethan loved her, but the thing about Noel was he wasn't a girl.

Ethan took her hand gently in his. "Honey, if you're having second thoughts…" His voice shook slightly.

"Of course I'm not!" said Honey. "It's just…"

Ethan kissed her cheek. "Honey, you can tell me anything in the world. Anything. If you're not happy with something, I always want you to tell me. Then we can discuss it and decide together."

"I… I just thought we'd choose the ring together," said Honey.

Ethan looked surprised but not really upset. "I see. Yes. I can understand that."

"I know it's awful of me when you've gone out and bought it and everything…"

"It wouldn't be awful at all – it makes sense – but actually, I didn't buy it," said Ethan. He looked at Honey for a moment and sadness came into his eyes. "It was my mother's engagement ring. She left it to me in her will. It's possible she meant for me to keep it, but I think she meant for me to give the ring to the girl I wanted to marry." He smiled. "Not that I imagined for a moment that any girl would be stupid enough to-" He stopped, horrified by what he'd said. "Oh, Honey, I didn't mean… I'm so sorry."

Honey stroked his arm. "It's okay, Ethan. I know what you meant." If he'd intentionally called her stupid, it would hurt her, even though it was true. But for some reason, Ethan thought she was just as clever as he was. He said he was just better at exams.

"But I do understand," said Ethan once he'd regained his equilibrium. "Our marriage is about the two of us. Perhaps it would be better to choose a ring that means something to both of us. You didn't even know my mum."

Honey felt terrible, especially when he turned away and blinked rapidly. "Ethan, I'm sorry. I didn't realise. Of course I'd love to wear your mother's ring. It would be like, an honour." She put her arms around him. "I'm sorry, Ethan. I love you. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"You didn't," said Ethan as he hugged her back. "I was just feeling sad that you and my mum never got to meet each other. I know she'd have loved you."

"I know I'd have loved her too," said Honey. She stroked his hair and felt his shoulders quiver slightly. "But I will be connected to her if I wear her ring."

"Yes. Of course," whispered Ethan. He stayed in her embrace for a few moments before letting go. "Sorry about that."

"No," said Honey. "It's my job to cuddle you when you're sad. That will always be my job."

Ethan looked even more emotional at that, but he quickly regained control. "First I need to show you the ring. Then you can decide if you'd like to wear it or if we need to go shopping."

"Of course I'm going to like it!" said Honey. "I'm going to love it."

And (to her great relief) she did.


	21. Chapter 21

**Tato Potato** , Originally, Ethan was going to ask Cal's advice on whether he should buy a ring or take Honey out so they could choose together, but luckily, I remembered his mum's ring just in time! Thank you for your review.

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I'm really happy you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoy this one too.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I'm glad I remembered about the ring in time! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I really want to show Noel being a good dad throughout this story - almost everything else is going wrong for poor Honey! I don't think the engagement will go wrong, but all couples have their moments. Thank you for your review!

 **ETWentHome** , I was in two minds about whether she would like the ring or not, but I thought that once she'd heard the story behind it, she'd want it even if it wasn't to her usual taste. Thank you for your review!

* * *

Honey didn't feel well enough to work the following day, but after a couple of days of rest, she returned to the hospital. She'd decided she would only stay for a couple of hours, but she needed to go and invite everyone to the engagement party and she decided the best way of ensuring she saw everyone was to go to work. She didn't think any of her friends would be able to get through the day without a coffee.

Ethan encouraged her to take another day off, but as Honey refused, he drove her to work and put his arm around her, supporting her, as they walked into the hospital.

Honey was surprised by how quiet it was. Of course, there was a lot of noise in the waiting room as usual as patients chattered, moaned and threw up, but there didn't seem to be anyone on reception and the only doctor she could see was Cal, who was walking towards her.

"Hey, little bro. Hey, future little sis," said Cal.

Ethan had told Honey that Cal wasn't 100% happy about their engagement, but Honey had never seen any signs of it. He'd come to see her a couple of days ago to offer his congratulations and had been surprisingly sweet.

"Hey, future big bro. Where's my dad?" said Honey, looking around.

Cal shrugged. "I'm sure he's around somewhere. How are you feeling, Honey?"

"A bit better, thanks," said Honey. "Still not really up to working full-time, so I hope they won't sack me!"

Ethan shook his head. "You're allowed sick days, Honey. Don't worry about that."

"No-one in their right mind would sack my little sister," said Cal, putting his arm around her as they walked towards the deserted reception desk. "And if they do, there will be hell to pay."

"CONGRATULATIONS!"

Honey and Ethan both jumped violently and clutched at one another as Cal laughed at them. Noel, Big Mac, Louise, Zoe, Robyn, Lofty, Max, Rita… almost everyone Honey knew at the hospital had jumped out from behind the reception desk. They were holding a big banner with the word 'Congratulations' on it.

"Oh my God!" gasped Honey, and burst into tears. "I'm sorry. I am happy really. Thank you!"

Ethan was bright red but smiling. "Thank you. Thank you very much."

Honey wiped her eyes. "You're all so lovely." She hugged and kissed her friends. Ethan shook hands with the men and was subjected to kisses from the women. He looked a little bit uncomfortable, but that only made his relationship with Honey more special. She was the girl he didn't feel awkward kissing.

"Have you got a ring yet?" said Robyn excitedly.

Honey showed her. "It was Ethan's mum's. She left it to him when she died and she meant him to give it to the girl he was going to marry. And that's me!"

"It's beautiful," said Robyn.

"It's really nice," agreed Lofty.

Robyn nudged him. "Maybe she gave Cal her wedding ring. So if you ask Cal to marry you, Lofty, then you'll have one too!"

"I'm not that desperate yet!" said Lofty, laughing.

"Hey!" said Cal.

Honey giggled. "You've broken his heart now, Lofty!"

Lofty went over to Cal, a serious expression on his face. "Cal, I am so honoured and so flattered that you think of me in that way. But-" The rest of Lofty's words were lost as everyone collapsed into laughter, including Cal and Lofty.

Honey reached into her bag. "Oh, while you're all here, I'd like to invite you all to our engagement party. I was going to go round and see you all in person, but I don't think Connie will like it if I go bursting into Resus. I've done the invites on paper. It's more personal than facebook and I didn't think you'd all be on it." She handed out the invitations. Most people said at once that they'd be able to come, while others promised to try to swap their shifts.

"The party will go on all night so come over anytime," said Honey.

"I'll hand out the other invites if you like," offered Cal, but Honey shook her head.

"Thanks, but I think I'd like to see everyone in person. I'll go and ask Dixie and Iain now, then I'll wait for the others at the coffee shop. I don't suppose Dylan will want to come, but I think it would be good for him to do something normal for a change."

Ethan cringed slightly. "Honey, being a bit different isn't the same as not being normal."

"I never said he wasn't normal," said Honey, a bit hurt. "Just some of the things he does. I think he's probably just shy."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry. Of course you didn't mean that," said Ethan. He kissed her so sweetly, Honey's happiness was restored in seconds.

They were interrupted by Connie. "Dr Hardy, if Miss Wright requires mouth to mouth resuscitation, I suggest you take her to Resus."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp!" said Ethan, blushing.

Honey felt around inside her bag. "Connie, I got you an invite. To our engagement party. I hope you can come."

Connie took the invitation. "It's 'Mrs Beauchamp', please, Miss Wright, and I don't usually attend parties." She smiled. "But thank you for inviting me and many congratulations to both of you."

* * *

Honey smiled as her customer left and looked at the small pile of invitations still on the counter. There were still a few people she hadn't seen. She wasn't surprised not to see Dylan as he never seemed to drink her coffee and it was possible he wasn't working today. It was slightly more surprising that she hadn't seen Lily. She was definitely at work as Honey had seen her from a distance, but she didn't seem to be thirsty.

At first, excitement and adrenaline kept Honey going, but soon the pains in her stomach became more noticeable. When Ethan came to get some coffee, he noticed at once. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I just don't feel well," said Honey. She was leaning on the counter with her chin propped up on her hands. "I called the agency and they're sending someone in to cover for me, but they're not here yet. I wish you'd give me one of them anti-metric things you were talking about."

Ethan leaned across the counter to kiss her damp forehead. "I'll go and see if I can find Zoe. I'm sure she'll be happy to discuss antiemetics with you."

"But you don't think she's going to prescribe anything, do you?"

"I can't be certain what she'll do," said Ethan. "But I wouldn't get my hopes up, darling. Why don't you come and wait in the staff room?"

Honey shook her head. "I've got to wait till the agency girl gets here. I wish she'd hurry up. I'm boiling with this apron thing on."

Ethan smiled sympathetically. "I'm sure she'll get here soon. Shall I go and find Zoe, sweetheart, or would you like me to wait with you?"

Honey was about to answer when a girl appeared at the counter beside Ethan. "Honey? I'm Jenny from the agency."

"Oh, right, great," said Honey. She took off her apron and came out from behind the counter. "Shall I show you where everything is or can you manage?"

Ethan frowned. "Excuse me, Jenny, but hadn't you better show Honey some ID before she gives you access to the till?"

"Oh, yeah…" Honey had forgotten about that. She looked at the ID card, held it out to Ethan for inspection, and finally handed the keys over. "I'll be here for a while, so any questions, ask Noel on reception to text me. He won't mind because he's my dad."


	22. Chapter 22

**Paradoxilla** , thank you for your review. I love a good engagement too! I'm afraid this chapter isn't cute and sweet at all, but I hope you'll like it.

 **Tato Potato** , I haven't completely decided how Cal feels, but it's definitely a relief to him that the wedding won't be for a while so Ethan has time for second thoughts. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I thought Honey should still have the odd tactless moment even though she's nice in this story. I wanted Connie to be nice, but she still had to be Connie! I'm really happy you found that convincing.

 **ETWentHome** , I'm sure having a wedding to think about - but which doesn't require a lot of stress and planning just yet - gives Honey a reason to smile when she really needs one. Thank you for your review!

* * *

Once the agency girl was settled, Ethan took Honey into the staff room and made her a cup of tea. "It only seems fair after the amount of tea you make for us, though I can't promise it will be as nice. Are you okay to stay here, sweetheart? Okay: I'll go and find Zoe."

He kissed Honey goodbye and left. Honey sat and looked at the ring on her finger as she waited for the tea to cool. She still felt ill, but it helped to know that Ethan loved her. Coming to Holby had been completely the right decision: perhaps the best decision she'd ever made. Noel was a better dad than she could have hoped for and Ethan was just perfect.

"Can I help you?" said an icy voice from some way to her right.

Honey looked up to see Lily. "Hey, Lily. I've got something for you."

"My name is Dr Chao," said Lily. "What are you doing in here?"

Honey looked at her in surprise. "Waiting for Ethan and Zoe. Why?"

"You're not part of our medical staff so you have no right to be in here," said Lily. "However, if Dr Hanna and Dr Hardy know you're here, I have no reason to object." She turned away.

"Lily, you'll never guess what!" said Honey. "Me and Ethan are getting married!"

Lily seemed to freeze. Then, slowly, she turned to face Honey. "Is that true?"

"Of course it's true!" said Honey, stung. She lifted her left hand for Lily to inspect. "Look: he gave me a ring and everything. Isn't it beautiful?"

Lily barely gave it a glance. "I must return to work."

"No, Lily, wait!" said Honey, making a grab for her bag. She knocked it off the table and the contents spilled all over the floor. She dropped to her knees and scrabbled around on the floor to pick it up. The pain in her stomach intensified as she leaned over and she gasped.

Lily heaved a sigh and bent down. "I will do it." She picked everything up with a minimum of fuss and handed it to Honey. "There. Now perhaps you will allow me to return to work."

Honey found Lily's invitation and held it out for her. "This is for you!"

"For me?" Lily regarded the envelope suspiciously, but she opened it and drew out the invitation. Honey had done each one by hand with slightly different designs. Lily's had lilies and a stethoscope. Lily's eyes zeroed in on the stethoscope and she tapped it. "Is this supposed to be something obscene?"

"No, it's a stethoscope, Lily!" said Honey.

Lily looked at the invitation and began to read. "No, thank you, Honey." She handed the invitation back. "I have no wish to attend your party." Lily turned and left the room.

Honey stared at her. She'd tried hard not to let Lily's comments bother her, knowing it was just her way, but it devastated her that Lily had handed back an invitation Honey had put so much work into.

She shoved it back into her bag where she couldn't see it, but it wasn't a case of out of sight, out of mind.

Honey put her head in her hands and began to cry.

* * *

Zoe was in Resus when Ethan found her, but as it looked like she was preparing to wheel the patient out, he hung around. "Ethan?" she said, surprised. "Is everything okay?"

"I'd like a quick word when you have a minute, Dr Hanna," said Ethan. "It's about Honey."

"Give me two minutes and I'll be right with you," said Zoe.

As it was only two minutes, Ethan decided to wait outside Resus rather than returning to Honey. Three minutes later, Zoe had delivered the patient safely and was back with Ethan.

"Sorry it took me so long," said Zoe. "Now what can I do for you?"

Ethan explained about Honey's side effects and her wish to speak to a doctor she wasn't engaged to. He tried not to smile when he said the word 'engaged', but he couldn't help it. He just couldn't believe Honey actually wanted to marry him.

"That's fine, Ethan. I'll be happy to speak to her," said Zoe. "I have a couple of things to do first, but I should be with you in ten minutes." She paused as though wondering whether to add something. "Please don't let her get her hopes up too much. I do agree with you that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to give Honey any more medication at this stage. There are so many medications that could theoretically affect hyperthyroid symptoms either permanently or temporarily. But I'll have a chat to her and see if anything comes to mind."

"Thank you," said Ethan gratefully. "We'll be in the staff room."

He hurried back towards the staff room and almost walked into Lily, who was walking very quickly and seemed slightly breathless. Her eyes seemed unfocused and she would certainly have crashed into Ethan if he hadn't moved aside.

"Lily, are you all right?" he asked, worried. It wasn't like Lily to be inattentive.

"Fine," Lily said shortly and brushed past him. It was obvious to Ethan that she was not fine and he stood looking after her for a moment or two, concerned. It could be very upsetting working in an ED. They all had moments when they weren't themselves and needed a few minutes. Ethan considered going after her, but he decided he really couldn't leave Honey any longer. He assuaged his guilt with the thought that he would keep an eye out for Lily once he was back at work. If she still seemed upset, he would speak to her about it, but he knew Lily was very strong mentally and she would more than likely be fine.

Ethan hurried back to the staff room and opened the door, only to stop, dismayed when he saw Honey in floods of tears. He'd seen Honey cry quite a lot recently and it was understandable. She wasn't well and the news that she wasn't pregnant had hit both of them very hard. Ethan thought he must have cried more in the last few days than he had in the last year and he didn't have a condition that affected him emotionally.

But Honey in tears wasn't a sight he could ever get used to because he loved her and hated to see her sad.

He went quickly to her side and put his arms around her. "Honey, sweetheart, what is it? Are you feeling worse?"

Honey didn't answer at first. She buried her face in Ethan's shoulder and cried. Ethan stroked her hair and murmured to her quietly that he was here and she should talk when she was ready and he would do everything he could to make things all right.

It seemed like forever, but it was probably only a few minutes before Honey lifted his head from his shoulder. She got a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes and nose.

"What is it, darling?" said Ethan, quite upset himself.

Honey looked undecided. "It's probably nothing," she said. "You know how emotional I am."

"It's always something if it's upsetting you this much," said Ethan firmly. He turned her face towards him, his thumb gently caressing her cheek. "I love you, Honey. There's nothing in the world you can't tell me."


	23. Chapter 23

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. It's quite weird writing it as Honey turned out to be horrible, but I'm trying to make them into a good couple.

 **beckyboogle** , your wish might be my command - read on and find out! Thank you for your review - I'm glad you like caring Ethan. I love writing him.

 **ETWentHome** , Lily really isn't too good with friendships! She and Honey are very different but with one important thing in common: their taste in men! That kind of thing always causes trouble. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. Yes, Lily was mean. She could have refused a lot more nicely - or just said thank you for the invitation and then not gone to the party! I think she gets on better with men than women.

* * *

Ethan barely even waited for Lily's patient to leave. "What's wrong with you?" he hissed. He didn't think he could ever remember feeling this angry and that was quite something considering all the stress Cal had caused him over the years.

"There is nothing wrong with me," said Lily after a short pause. "I am the doctor. It is the patients who have something wrong with them, not me."

Ethan took her arm and led her further from the cubicles. "Please dDon't try to pretend you don't understand," he said quietly. "I'm sure you know what I mean. How could you speak to Honey like that?" His frustration began to spill out, though he tried to keep his voice down. "If you don't want to come to our engagement party, you don't have to. But there was no need to shove the invitation back in her face. That was cruel and rude and just… wrong."

"So, you expect us to be friends?" said Lily angrily.

"Perhaps not, but I expect you to treat one another with respect," said Ethan.

Lily's voice was harsh. "She hasn't exactly treated me with respect, has she?"

"She's invited you to our party," said Ethan.

"I tried to help her," said Lily, her eyes filling with tears. "I promised to support her with the baby. I helped her arrange an appointment. I promised to go with her. Even though I was hurting, I was kind to her."

Ethan made the effort to speak more calmly. "Yes, I know you did, Lily. You were very kind to Honey and I appreciate that."

Lily brushed her hands under her eyes. "And when I found out there was no baby, I offered her my support with that too. And you know what she said, Ethan!" Lily couldn't hold back a sob. "She called me a lying, sneaking cow who couldn't get a boyfriend and said it was no wonder that nobody liked me."

"I know, and she shouldn't have said that," said Ethan gently. "I'm sorry. I should have realised you'd still be upset about that. Anyone would be. And I apologise for the way I spoke to you just now. I did go over the top."

A tear trickled down Lily's cheek, though she quickly dashed it away. "No. You're right, Ethan. I shouldn't have said it. I was just very hurt still."

Ethan put his hand hesitantly on her arm. "I know, Lily. And I know that what I'm about to say won't change what happened, but Honey's very upset she's not pregnant. We both are. Honey's completely heartbroken and her emotions are all over the place anyway because of her condition. She didn't mean what she said and I really am sorry she upset you."

"But it's true," said Lily. "Everything she said was true."

"Of course it's not," said Ethan. He gently guided her away from cubicles. "Lily, why don't you come to… no, on second thoughts, don't come to the staff room. Come into… um… this cupboard."

"Are you making fun of me?" cried Lily.

"Of course not!" said Ethan. "I would never make fun of you. I hope I'd never make fun of anyone except Cal." He opened the cupboard door and ushered Lily inside. Now, where's the light switch? I can't find the… oh, there it is." He switched it on. "Sorry, Lily. You must think I'm an idiot."

"No, I don't," said Lily softly.

Ethan smiled at her. "I think you're in the minority." He closed the door behind them. "Why do you think that what Honey said is true?" He tried to hide his surprise. Lily had always seemed so confident – not the sort of person to take a few harsh words to heart.

Lily dabbed her tears. "Because it's true, Ethan! I hoped I'd be married by now, but I haven't even got a boyfriend. Nobody likes me. Even Cal gave up on me before he'd properly got me into bed."

"I'm sure that was only because he didn't want me to punch him again," said Ethan.

He'd hoped this would make Lily smile, but she just looked uncomfortable at the reminder.

Ethan changed the subject quickly. "But you're very young, Lily. And you've been working so hard for your exams. You haven't really had the opportunity to meet anyone yet. It is difficult when you're a doctor. You work unsociable hours and most of the people you meet are patients and therefore off-limits. But I'm sure you'll find someone. You're beautiful and intelligent and I find you very likeable."

"But not likeable enough," said Lily.

Ethan frowned. "Yes, definitely likeable enough. I like you very much, Lily."

"But you're still marrying the shop girl!" said Lily.

"Yes, I'm marrying Honey," said Ethan. "Because I love her. But that should reassure you if anything. I'm the most awkward person ever. I have absolutely no social skills and as Cal is fond of telling me, I'm a long way from being handsome. But I still found Honey and I'm sure you'll find someone too."

Lily spoke in a low voice. "I have found someone. But he isn't interested."

"Have you asked him?" said Ethan.

Lily shook her head. "It is very clear he is not interested." A tear ran down her cheek. "He has just become engaged to someone else."

"That's a coincidence!" said Ethan. "Um, not that it's a good coincidence. I'm really sorry, Lily. If it helps, I think he's an idiot to choose another girl over you. I'm sure this other girl isn't half as…" He looked at Lily's face and then it hit him. Cal had told him that Lily liked him, but Ethan hadn't paid any attention because it was impossible. "Lily… you don't mean…"

Lily looked sadly at him. "Yes, Ethan. I do mean."

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"It's not your fault," said Lily, as she began to cry again.

"Lily…" Ethan wasn't sure what to do. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but he obviously had and he felt he ought to do something. He just wished he knew what. "Lily, I'm really flattered. I think you're great and if I hadn't met Honey, then maybe…"

"You don't have to patronise me," said Lily. "Please on't humiliate me any more than I have humiliated myself."

"Oh, Lily. I didn't mean to patronise you." Ethan shocked himself by giving her a hug. "I really do mean I'm flattered. I'm genuinely amazed you'd look at me twice. Please don't cry. It's going to be all right. You'll find someone better than me. I'm sure you-"

He stopped as the door opened. Max stood there. Behind him was Robyn, her eyes like saucers. "Oh my God!"

"Oh! Um, it's, um, not how it looks," said Ethan.

"It had better not be!" said Robyn.

Ethan patted Lily's back and knew he couldn't possibly explain. He couldn't betray Lily's secret to the hospital's biggest gossip. "No. It's definitely not what it looks like. But we were having a private conversation, so if you could let us have a few more minutes... thank you."

"She will tell everyone," said Lily as the door closed. "You must tell Honey the truth before she hears the gossip. I will tell her the truth too. We will go now and tell her."

"Are you sure?" said Ethan. He didn't want Lily to suffer any more than she was already. He felt so guilty for the pain he'd caused. He was sure he must have led Lily on in some way. Why else would she look twice at him?

"Completely sure," said Lily as she dried her eyes. "You love Honey. I want you to be happy. I should support you both. I should not do things that would make you unhappy. I am sorry for the way I behaved towards Honey. I will tell Honey too."

"It was understandable after the way she behaved towards you," said Ethan. He wanted to say he hoped Lily would come to the engagement party, but he didn't think he'd want to go in her position.

Lily shook her head. "Perhaps my feelings were understandable, but my actions were not. Honey is unwell. I am merely…"

"Temporarily insane?" suggested Ethan, though he smiled as he said it and kept his fingers crossed that Lily wouldn't take his words too seriously.

"Something like that," said Lily, and she almost smiled, which was as good as a laugh from someone else. "Shall we go and find Honey? Or Robyn will think I am having your baby too."

Ethan laughed. "We certainly don't want that. I mean, um, I just mean I don't want Robyn to say that. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother."

"I know what you meant," said Lily. She paused. "But thank you." She moved to open the cupboard door.

"Just a moment." Ethan leaned forward and kissed Lily quickly on the cheek before he could lose his nerve. It was pleasant but in no way exciting. "Thank you for understanding."


	24. Chapter 24

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. Did you mean Honey when you said Lily? Either way, it's really amazing to have changed your opinion of a character - I never used to like Dylan, but after reading fanfiction about him, he became one of my favourites!

 **beckyboogle** , thank you so much for saying you could imagine this happening in an episode. The original version of this chapter was quite different, but your review made me decide to go in a different direction with it - I hope you like the result!

 **Tanith Panic** , I thought it was important for Lily to explain her side of the story - she often doesn't get the chance and I don't think she was being completely unreasonable this time. I personally hate five-year plans. I am often asked: "Where do you see yourself in five years time?" and I refuse to answer because I don't want to plan that far ahead. It's unrealistic, and particularly with things like marriage, you just don't have that much control over your life so failure is only too easy. Thank you for your review!

* * *

Honey was still crying when the staff room door opened. She looked up, hoping to see Ethan, and felt herself tensing when she realised it was Lily. The fact that Ethan followed her into the room was little consolation.

"Honey," said Ethan awkwardly. "I've just been speaking to Lily and there's something we need to tell you."

Honey had always had an inclination to jump to conclusions. The fact that Ethan and Lily had arrived together with something to tell her could only mean one thing.

Honey didn't blame Ethan. Lily was beautiful and intelligent and suited to Ethan in every way. Honey was sure Ethan had meant every word of his proposal, but now, common sense had come to the surface and told him what Honey had always feared.

"Honey?" Ethan said in alarm as she dropped her head into her hands and began to cry. "Darling, what it is? Do you feel worse?"

"How do you expect me to feel?" Honey's words were almost a howl.

Ethan put his arms around her. "Is there anything I can do, sweetheart?" He actually sounded worried. Even now, he cared about her.

"Have you heard the rumour already?" said Lily. She sounded shocked.

Honey cried even harder. So she wasn't even the first person Ethan and Lily had told. "Has the whole hospital been laughing at me?" she sobbed.

"Laughing at you?" Ethan sounded surprised now. "Why would they laugh at you, darling?"

"Because my boyfriend left me for Lily!" wept Honey.

"No, Honey, it is not true!" Lily sounded very close to Honey now.

Honey opened her eyes to find Ethan's new girlfriend crouching in front of her.

"It isn't true," said Lily firmly. "Honey, there is nothing between Ethan and me. There never has been and there never will be. Ethan loves you. He wants to marry you and there will never be anyone else."

"You don't have to say that," sniffled Honey.

Ethan gently took Honey's hands away from her face. "Darling, Lily's right. It's just a stupid rumour. I love you, Honey."

"It is my fault," said Lily, her voice shaking.

"No, it's not," said Ethan.

Honey looked up and was amazed to see tears in Lily's eyes.

"Ethan spoke to me about my conversation with you," said Lily. "He was angry. I explained to him that I reacted as I did because of the way you spoke to me a couple of days ago. Ethan could see that I was upset and felt the conversation should be conducted somewhere more private. We couldn't come here so we went into the cupboard. That is the only reason we were in the cupboard."

"The cupboard?" said Honey, crying even more. "What have cupboards got to do with anything? I don't understand, Ethan." Despite herself, she found herself leaning her head against Ethan's shoulder. "What cupboard?"

Lily's clear voice cut through Honey's misery. "Did nobody tell you that Ethan and I were in a cupboard together?"

Honey stared at her. "You and Ethan were in a cupboard?"

Ethan looked confused. "But if you don't know about the cupboard, why would you think I'm leaving you for Lily?"

"You said you had something to tell me," wept Honey.

"Oh. I see. Well, we do," said Ethan. "But it wasn't anything like that. We just wanted to warn you that there might be a rumour flying round about me and Lily. We wanted to reassure you it was completely untrue."

Honey shook her head blankly. "What happened in the cupboard?"

"Nothing," said Ethan.

"We went in there so we could talk privately," explained Lily. "I was upset and Ethan put his arms around me. He only meant to comfort me as a friend, but the door opened and Robyn and Max saw us hugging. We told her it was just a friendly hug, but I was ashamed for a nurse and a porter to see I was crying and Ethan was too much of a gentleman to tell them he was comforting me."

"Lily and I were worried Robyn would start a rumour about us," said Ethan as he rubbed Honey's back. "You know how much Robyn likes to gossip. Lily insisted we came to see you now and told you what really happened."

Honey looked at them for a moment. She believed Ethan would always be honest with her and Lily wasn't the type to worry about hurting people's feelings.

But Ethan was still much better-suited to Lily.

"Honey, I promise you, I love you and I want to marry you," said Ethan. Gently, he turned her face towards his and kissed her. "I love you, Honey."

"He loves you," agreed Lily.

"I… I love you too, Ethan," said Honey, and watched as some of the worry in his brown eyes faded. Honey then looked at Lily and was surprised to see her eyes were shining with tears. "It's okay, Lily," she found herself saying. "I know what Robyn's like – and I know what you two are like too. I'm sorry I didn't believe you at first. I was just confused."

For some reason, this caused Lily's tears to fall. "Honey, I'm sorry about… about the invitation."

"No, it's okay," said Honey. "I was a complete bitch to you. Why would you want to go to anyone's party when they'd said something like that to you? Don't worry about it."

"It wasn't only that. I was… I was jealous of you," Lily admitted quietly. "Because you had Ethan and I… I have no-one."

Honey stared at her. Was Lily admitting it then? She was in love with Honey's fiancé?

"Lily, you don't have to explain," said Ethan gently.

"I… I made a five-year plan," said Lily tearfully. "I hoped I'd be married by now. But I'm not."

Honey grabbed Lily's hand in a rush of sympathy. "And here's me and Ethan rubbing our wedding in your face!"

"It's not your fault," said Lily. "It's a happy time for you. I shouldn't spoil it."

"You're not," said Honey. She was quiet for a moment. "Lily, do you want to know something? I'm jealous of you too. You're really beautiful and I need a whole face-full of slap to look half as good as you."

"Of course you don't!" said Ethan. "You look beautiful whether you wear, um, slap or not."

"And you're so intelligent," went on Honey. "You and Ethan are like, two of the cleverest people in the world. You've both got a medical degree, for God's sake. I tried to do the most basic first aid course once and I couldn't even get through that."

"I think you're very intelligent, Honey," said Ethan firmly.

Honey rolled her eyes. "Ethan, you're very sweet and everything, but this is 'big up Lily' time, okay?"

Ethan looked a bit embarrassed. "Oh. Yes. Of course. I'm sorry, Honey. But if you notice, Lily, I'm only arguing with what Honey is saying about _herself_. I'm in complete agreement with everything she's said about you."

Lily wiped her eyes and so nearly smiled.

Honey knew that even 'nearly' was a big success. "And you're just so brilliant at your job, Lily. That's partly because you're so clever, but being a doctor isn't just about knowing the stuff. You have to do it at the same time as reassure the patients and all sorts of stuff. I think I'm not too bad at the reassuring side, but I can't even put the right kind of tea in the right cup half the time. And I'm not giving tea to people who are dying: only to people who _think_ they'll die if they don't have tea."

Lily came close to smiling again. "I think you are very good at your job, Honey."

Honey squeezed her hand. "Lily, you're gorgeous and I'm sure you could get a boyfriend anytime you wanted. You've just got standards, that's all. Don't put a time limit on it. It's better to wait a bit longer and find someone special. Don't throw yourself away on a Louis Fairhead when you could have an Ethan Hardy."

"I'll try," said Lily.

"You'll find someone," said Honey. She lifted Lily's hand. "Look: your heart line stops between your middle and index finger. That means success in love relationships. I'll give you a proper reading if you like with tarot and palmistry and I'll do your birth chart. We'll do, like, a whole girls' night in."

Lily stared at her. "You want to have a girls' night in with _me_?"

"Yeah, course I do!" said Honey. "I really like you, Lily. You were there for me that time in the restaurant. You were there for me when I thought I was... you know. I want to be there for you too."

"You really like me?" said Lily. "After what I said?"

"At least you said it to my face," said Honey. "I don't even want to think about what Robyn's saying behind my back." Honey hesitated. "And Lily... if you do change your mind about the party, I'd really love you to be there. You don't have to decide now. All you have to do is show up and we'll be happy to see you, won't we, Ethan?"

"Very happy," said Ethan, and smiled at Lily. "I'll be the one standing in the corner looking awkward. Please feel free to take pity on me and speak to me."

"I will think about it," said Lily slowly. "Thank you."

Honey gave Lily a hug.

There was a moment when Honey thought Lily might not hug back.

But finally she did.


	25. Chapter 25

**Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you're happy! I like Lily too, but her intelligence doesn't seem to help her when it comes to forming relationships! I love how all the Casualty doctors are clever but have weaknesses. Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. I could have kept Honey and Lily's feud going, but I thought that would be too distracting so I'm really glad you liked that they managed to work out their problems.

 **Tato Potato** , I'm really happy you like the changes I've made to Lily and Honey's characters. But I didn't need to change Ethan, of course: he's always sweet! Thank you for your review.

 _I finally have internet back so I hope I'll be back to posting every day now. I hope no-one has forgotten about me or my stories. I'll start catching up with reading and reviewing your stories too, but it might take me a few days._

* * *

Zoe shook her head apologetically. "I'm sorry, Honey. I really am sorry. I know you're suffering and I wish there was something we can do, but it's just so close to your appointment now, I can't give you any new medication or let you stop taking the propranolol. All I can do is give you some advice for dealing with the side effects."

Ethan saw the disappointment in Honey's eyes, but she smiled gratefully at Zoe. "It's okay, Zoe. Ethan did warn me. And any advice would be totally welcome."

"Okay," said Zoe. "First of all, as with anyone, we recommend that you eat healthy, balanced, regular meals. I'm not sure who does most of the cooking out of you, your dad and Big Mac, but I'd be happy to go through a diet plan with any of you – or with Ethan, as I'm guessing you'll be spending a lot of time together."

Ethan nodded and squeezed Honey's hand. "Yes, I'll be very happy to do that." He only wished he'd thought of it before.

"Stick to plain foods that are gentle on the stomach as much as possible," said Zoe. "Pasta is good. Vegetables are important. Be careful of fruit: anything acidic like oranges doesn't go well with a sensitive stomach. If you need to settle your stomach, mints can be good, particularly the strong ones. An over-the-counter antacid might also help calm things down. Drink lots of water as you need to keep hydrated, especially as you're throwing up and sweating. A cup of tea – perhaps mint tea – might help. Actually, you probably know the healing properties of tea a lot better than I do!" She patted Honey on the arm.

Honey smiled. "I do know a lot about tea, but I don't know any kinds that are good for the thyroid."

"At this point, Honey, we're thinking about treating symptoms, rather than the thyroid itself," said Zoe. "The endocrinologist can deal with treating the thyroid. But it isn't long to wait. I know it probably feels like forever, but it's only a few more days. You've got Ethan and your dad. I know you can get through this together, but if you need a chat, you can always phone or text me."

"Thanks, Zoe," said Honey. "It was proper nice of you to talk to me like this. Is it okay to give you a hug?"

Zoe laughed and held out her arms. "Of course it is."

* * *

Ethan couldn't wait for his shift to end. All he wanted was to see his fiancée.

He didn't think he'd ever been in this position before. For one thing, he didn't usually have a girlfriend, never mind a fiancée. For another, he loved his job and was usually happy to discover he was working a double shift (unless Cal was working a double shift too).

But today, all he wanted was to be with Honey.

He'd thought it wasn't possible to love her any more than he had before he'd proposed, but he'd proved himself wrong and found new reservoirs of love within himself. He believed that as his and Honey's life progressed, his capacity to love would grow still further.

Ethan wasn't usually able to finish at the time his shift officially ended because he couldn't abandon his patients, but today, he somehow managed to time it so he finished exactly on time. He dashed off to the staff room to change and met Lily on his way out. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lily. I'm sorry about what happened earlier."

"So am I," said Lily simply.

They smiled at one another. Ethan felt guilt but also warmth for a good friend. He hoped he wasn't breaking her heart too much. It seemed impossible that he could be breaking her heart at all, but for some reason, Lily had got it into her head that there was something good about him. The rumour was that she was after a doctor rather than Ethan specifically, but Ethan was most definitely flattered to be her first choice when she could have chosen a handsome doctor like Cal (though he admittedly had a dubious reputation) or someone who was already a consultant like Dylan (though Ethan had a feeling Lily was allergic to dogs and Dylan was practically married to his Dervla).

So actually, he probably was just the best of a bad bunch, but it was still flattering as she could have chosen a doctor from another part of the hospital.

"Please give Honey my… my best wishes," said Lily crisply.

"I will," promised Ethan. "Thank you, Lily."

* * *

"My chest hurts," said Honey as Ethan helped her into bed.

"It's probably the excitement," said Ethan. "Um, not that I mean that getting married to me is exciting. It's probably going to be horribly dull. But being friends with Lily is exciting." He held two fingers to her wrist and his face filled with concern. "You're very tachycardic, even by your standards. When are you due for your next lot of tablets?"

Honey sighed. "I'm overdue," she confessed, unable to lie to Ethan. "I haven't taken any since I got home."

Ethan shook his head worriedly. "Honey, you need to take them."

"But I can't stand the side effects," moaned Honey. "It's supposed to treat the symptoms, not make them worse so it's not helping, is it?"

"It is helping your tachycardia and the side effects might settle down soon," said Ethan. "Even if you do want to come off the tablets, which I very strongly recommend you don't do, you'll need to cut down gradually. Stopping these tablets suddenly can cause chest pain or even give you a heart attack."

"But I hate them, Ethan."

Ethan stroked her hand. "I know, darling, but I really would stick with them and then tell the doctor next week. It's not that long to wait. You heard what Zoe said. We can talk to your dad about food when he gets home and we can try everything else Zoe suggested."

Honey felt tears coming to her eyes. It had been a long, tiring and emotional day. "I don't want to take them, Ethan. I'm not going to take them! You can't make me!"

"No, but I can blame myself for the rest of my life if something happens to you," said Ethan.

"Nothing's going to happen to me," said Honey. "I could have had this for years and nothing's happened so far."

"Except that you collapsed and had to be rushed to hospital!" Ethan's voice shook slightly as he remembered it. "Please, Honey. I know you don't like the side effects and I hate to see you suffering. But it really is only for a few more days."

Honey stood her ground. "Then a few more days without them shouldn't make any difference, should it?" she said.


	26. Chapter 26

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you - it's good to see you again too! Honey was entitled to a second opinion and I could imagine Ethan going out of his way to arrange it! Thank you for your review.

 **TheAtomicCheesepuff** , thank you - it really is lovely to be missed and it's good to see you too. Thank you for your review - I hope you're enjoying the updates.

 **Tanith Panic** , I had bad side effects when taking Honey's medication - the side effects made me so anxious, my heartrate increased even more, so the doctors doubled the dose and gave me twice the side effects! But it must be awful for Ethan too. Thank you for your review!

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. I hope you enjoy the next chapter, but if you don't want anything to happen, I think you might be disappointed!

 **ETWentHome** , even a few days can seem neverending when you're in Honey's situation, but Zoe has given her some advice - she could always try it! Thank you for your review. It's good to see you back on the site.

* * *

Honey told herself she was feeling fine. The mints were helping the nausea and although it was a bit embarrassing that her face was damp with perspiration, it didn't actually mean she was incapable of going shopping. It was really only the pain in her chest that was the problem and that was probably just a stitch or something.

Not that she was really shopping today. She was just browsing; looking at possibilities. She stopped to finger the lacy hem of a pale blue bridesmaid's dress. She was sure Lily and Robyn would both look fantastic in that colour. So would Rita and Louise, if Honey decided to make them bridesmaids too. She'd always liked the idea of having a lot of bridesmaids. Rita had always been very kind to her (if you discounted the time she'd shouted at her for handing out drinks to nil-by-mouth patients) and she knew Noel had mostly enjoyed working with Louise. Honey thought it would make him happy if she asked Louise to be a bridesmaid and she really wanted to make her dad happy.

She was wondering about asking Zoe to be a bridesmaid too. Zoe was a bit older than the others and she was a consultant and she might not be that keen on hen parties considering what had happened on her own, but she had been very kind to Honey yesterday. Ethan had let her know, in a very gentle way, that Zoe hadn't been under any obligation to take the time to see her and her decision to help Honey meant Zoe had missed out on a proper break.

Honey hadn't thought of that, but once Ethan had pointed it out to her, she felt even more grateful to Zoe and she thought that asking her to be a bridesmaid might be a nice way of saying thank you.

Pain stabbed at her chest again and Honey pressed her hand against it. It wasn't a bad pain exactly, but it was never nice to have a stitch. She tried to breathe through the pain, but she felt suddenly breathless. It was quite warm in the shop. She decided to go out and get some air, but she stopped walking, gasping for breath, as the pain redoubled. Honey could feel her heart hammering against her chest.

And then Ethan's words came back to haunt her.

 _Stopping these tablets suddenly can cause chest pain or even give you a heart attack_.

It wasn't a stitch. It was the wrong place anyway.

She was having a heart attack.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," Honey whispered to herself as she felt in her handbag for her phone. She would call Ethan. He would know what to do.

Another wave of dizziness hit Honey and she reached out blindly for something to grab on to. But her hand found something soft and flimsy and as Honey clung to it desperately, she felt the thing come away in her hand.

She dropped it quickly and grabbed at something else, but it fell to the floor with a crash at Honey's feet. She swung round in a panic, but this only increased her dizziness. Quite unable to stand now, Honey collapsed to her knees. She could hear voices now, but they seemed to be speaking in a foreign language. Honey could make no sense of them.

The voices grew fainter. The pain grew stronger.

Then Honey couldn't hear anything at all.

* * *

Ethan finished tying the patient's sling and smiled at her. "Keep that on for the next three to five days, depending on the pain. If you find you do need to take something for the pain, then-"

He stopped as Cal burst into the cubicle. "Ethan, I need to speak to you."

Ethan tried to keep his voice polite. "As I'm sure you can see, Dr Knight, I'm with a patient. I'll be with you as-"

"No, Ethan, you've got to come now!" said Cal urgently.

"Dr Knight, you can't just walk into my cubicle and-"

"Please, Ethan," said Cal.

Ethan stopped. It wasn't like Cal to beg and he could now see how worried he was. No: he wasn't just worried. He was actually upset. And scared. It might be still nothing or it might be something Ethan couldn't really help with, but he felt like he couldn't take the risk. He had to listen to what Cal wanted to say.

"I'm terribly sorry: will you excuse me for two minutes?" he said to the patient, and followed Cal outside.

Cal looked at his brother and a look of pain came into his face. He pushed his hands through his hair. "Ethan."

A suspicion began to grow in Ethan's mind. "Caleb, what have you done?"

"No, it's nothing like that," said Cal. "I… I need to tell you something. Maybe you should sit down?"

"Cal, just tell me!" said Ethan, but much of his impatience came from fear.

Cal opened his mouth, then closed it. He put his hand gently on Ethan's arm. "It's Honey."

Ethan's fear immediately became panic. "What do you mean: it's Honey? Oh God, is she all right? Tell me, Caleb!"

"She's just been admitted," said Cal as he stroked Ethan's arm. "She collapsed in a shop with severe tachycardia and chest pains."

Ethan began to tremble. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. It's my fault, Cal!"

"Of course it's not," said Cal. He put his arm around Ethan. "It's not your fault. Come with me and I'll take you to see her."

"It is my fault," said Ethan. He felt tears pricking at his eyes. "Honey had chest pains and tachycardia last night. She told me she'd stopped taking her tablets. I told her she mustn't stop, but she said I couldn't make her. I should have tried harder. This is all my fault!"

"Hey, it's okay!" Cal turned Ethan to face him, a hand on each of his shoulders. "It's not your fault, Ethan. All we can ever do is prescribe and advise. We can't make anyone do anything."

"But if I'd tried harder, then I might have convinced her," said Ethan miserably.

"Or you might have got nowhere," said Cal. "Honey can be pretty determined." His voice was serious. "But right now, she's pretty scared, Ethan. She needs you. Are you going to come with me?"

"Yes, of course." Ethan took his glasses off and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, Cal. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"What's wrong with you is you've gone through a very emotional couple of days and now you've found out your fiancée has been admitted to hospital," said Cal. He kept his arm around Ethan as they walked, and Ethan for once didn't object. "That would make anyone upset! But I'm sure that once you've seen Honey and spoken to Zoe, you'll start to feel a bit better. Not knowing what's wrong is the scariest thing."

Ethan nodded and blinked back more tears as they walked. "Do you know anything about her condition?"

Cal hesitated. "I think she wasn't in great shape when she was brought in, but she's doing better now. Come on: she's in Resus."

"Resus?" Ethan's distressed voice rose to a shout. Then he lowered his head, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Cal. I didn't mean to shout."

"Don't be. It's a natural reaction. I'm sure all the relatives would react like that if they knew what Resus was." Cal rubbed Ethan's shoulder. "Shall we go in or do you need a minute?"

"I need to be with Honey," said Ethan.

"Then let's go in now," said Cal.


	27. Chapter 27

**TheAtomicCheesepuff** , thank you for your review. I think you're right about Ethan - he really loves Honey and he's barely keeping himself together as it is.

 **Tato Potato** , I'm glad you like Cal being there for Ethan - it's something that doesn't happen often enough in the series! Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I'm glad you like the dresses, though I'm wondering if it would be more characteristic of Honey to choose something a bit less traditional. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. That's what we like to see those brothers doing - supporting each other! And there might be more of that to come.

 **ETWentHome** , well, I wouldn't want to worry you, but there is a chance something else horrible might happen before the story ends! I think it's probably only Ethan who blames Ethan. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan felt tearful again when he saw Honey. She looked so tiny and weak and afraid. Her make-up was smudged and she was sniffing as Zoe gently stroked her arm. Ethan opened his mouth to speak but couldn't.

Zoe met his eye and smiled reassuringly. "Honey, here's Ethan," she said. "I'll leave you alone to talk, okay? I'll be back to check on you later." She touched Ethan's arm as she passed him. "She's much better now. We've given her some medication and her heartbeat's back where we expect it to be. We're going to keep her in for a few hours to monitor her, but you should be able to take her home after that."

"Thank you," whispered Ethan. He felt the comforting pressure of Cal's hand on his back.

Zoe squeezed his arm and left the three of them alone.

Ethan swallowed hard and made his way over towards her. "I love you, Honey. I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" said Honey, her voice cracking with emotion.

"I should have tried harder to convince you to take your tablets," said Ethan.

"You couldn't have force-fed them to me," said Honey. "And even if you'd got me to agree, I wouldn't have taken them." She began to cry. "So it's me who should be apologising, Ethan."

Ethan sat beside her on the bed and pulled her into his arms. "You don't have to apologise, Honey. Not for anything."

"I was going to stay in and not tire myself out," wept Honey. "I knew I'd feel worse if I went out. But I was going crazy in there, Ethan. All I could think about was the baby and that I'd let you down."

Ethan held her face in his hands. "Honey, you didn't let me down. Even if there had been a baby, you wouldn't have let me down."

"I just want our baby!" Honey's voice rose almost to a howl.

Ethan couldn't stop the tears from filling his eyes this time. "I know, darling. I know." He hugged her close to him and was grateful to feel Cal's hand on his shoulder. "But we'll have our baby soon. We'll see the endocrinologist and start the treatment and then we'll be ready for our baby."

His voice caught and Cal squeezed his shoulder before sitting on the bed beside him. "And then you'll have your baby and you'll be great parents," he said as he put his free hand on Honey's shoulder. He seemed slightly emotional too. "Just don't tell me how you did it. I do not need to know that."

"Oh, we'll be looking under gooseberry bushes and watching out for storks carrying blankets," said Ethan as he blinked his tears away. "You know. The usual."

"Oh, okay. I can cope with that," said Cal. He turned to Honey. "And you can cope with all _this_. You coped with getting yourself to Holby and working two jobs and getting to know your dad and getting my brother to ask you on a date. Not many people could have done that, you know. You can do this too and you've got me and Ethan to help you."

"And your dad," said Ethan quickly.

"Oh, right. Your dad. Yes." Cal looked around the room. "I was actually supposed to tell Noel."

Ethan gave Cal an incredulous look. "Seriously, Cal? Honey asked you to get her dad and you didn't?"

"Well, Zoe asked me to," said Cal. "But I forgot."

Honey wiped her eyes and smiled weakly through her tears. "It's okay, Cal. I'm sure you only forgot because you were worried about Ethan. And that's a good thing. With all the stress I've been putting him through, I'm glad he's got you looking out for him."

"You're not putting me through stress!" said Ethan at once. "I'm putting myself through the stress, voluntarily, because I love you."

Honey's eyes welled with tears again. "I love you too, Ethan."

Ethan kissed her.

"Right. Now I really am going to get Noel." Cal patted them both on the shoulder and left.

* * *

Noel looked worriedly down at Honey. "Now, you're sure you'll be okay on your own? I'm sure I can take the day off."

Honey had to admit she liked the idea of her dad looking after her, but she didn't want him to risk losing his job. "I'll be fine, Dad."

"Okay, but make sure you call me if you feel worse," said Noel. "I'm a receptionist. I can cope with one more phone on my desk."

"I'll call you," said Honey. "I promise."

"And don't you stir from this couch," said Noel. "Unless you're going to your bedroom or the bathroom. Or if you get hungry, you can go to the kitchen, but make sure you eat the sandwiches I left in the fridge for you. I don't want you messing around with knives."

Not for the first time that day, Honey felt teary.

Noel looked a bit panicky. "Honey, what's wrong? Okay, forget work. I'm staying with you."

"No, it's not that," said Honey. "It's just… this is something I've always dreamed of."

Noel stared at her. "You've dreamed about being ill?"

"No, of course not!" said Honey. "I just mean I've always dreamed of having a dad. Someone to protect me and be there for me no matter what. I was scared, when I came down to Holby the first time, that you wouldn't live up to my dreams. That's why I decided to get to know you first. But you did live up to my dreams, Dad. No. You're even better than my dreams."

"Oh, Honey." Noel wrapped his arms around her, but not before Honey had seen that he was emotional too. "I love you, Honey. You're my daughter and I'm proud of you. Sometimes I feel sad because I didn't get to know you sooner, but then I think of how many days we will have together and I know how lucky I am."

Honey started sobbing.

Noel hugged her closer. "Hey, I even approve of my future son-in-law and how many dads can say that? You picked a good man there, Honey. A very good man."

"I know I did," said Honey. She paused and wondered if she could tell her dad something. Something she hadn't ever planned on telling anybody. "Can I tell you something, Dad?"

"Honey, there's nothing you can't tell your old dad." Noel thought for a moment. "Well, almost nothing. There are certain… feminine things I don't want to hear about, but apart from that, I'm good."

"It's just… at first I didn't like Ethan that much," said Honey. "I thought he was hot right from the first time I saw him – he was wearing a suit and reading a magazine in my shop and he just looked gorgeous."

"Love at first sight, then?" said Noel.

"I don't know," said Honey. "Because after that, when I spoke to him more, I realised he was a bit of a geek and I decided he wasn't my type. But I wanted so badly to impress you and I knew I wasn't going to do that with my brains or by saying funny stuff, but I thought if I went out with a doctor, that would impress you."

Noel stared at her. "So, you don't love Ethan? Honey, you mustn't go out with a guy you don't love and you especially mustn't marry him. Not for me. Not for anyone."

Honey looked at him uncertainly. "So it wouldn't have impressed you?"

"Honey, you impress me with who you are," said Noel. "And you are a fantastic, beautiful, kind, loving and very amusing young lady. You can go out with whoever you like and if it makes you happy, that's good enough for me." He frowned. "But if you don't love Ethan…"

"No, I do!" said Honey. "The more I talked to him, the more I fell in love with him for real. I love it when he gets all caught up and passionate about something. It's cute and it's hot and I feel so proud of him because he's so clever and he cares about his job and his patients so much. He was always kind to me too. Lily totally looked down on me and Connie and Dylan ignored me and Cal kept dropping hints about Ethan and I thought he was making fun of me. But Ethan wasn't like them at all. He was always happy to listen to me and my rubbish. That time I hurt my ankle, Ethan was the first person I called and he came to get me and he helped me. He even bought me a dress to wear because… because mine got all ripped when I fell over so I wasn't properly decent." _Oops, nearly said too much there._ "Then when Ethan and Cal failed their exams, Cal was really upset so Ethan pretended Cal got a point more than him, when really Ethan did miles better. That's just the kind of sweet thing Ethan does all the time. And then these last few days, he's been so supportive. He's just the most amazing person ever. I know he's upset about the baby, but he just pushes that aside and he's there for me."

Noel had smiled through most of this, but then his eyes widened and he looked at Honey in shock. "Baby? What baby?"

 _Oh God. I never told him about the baby, did I?_ "Oh, right, yeah. Maybe there's something else I need to tell you too."


	28. Chapter 28

**Tato Potato** , I'd like to think Noel would have been there for Honey when she was growing up if he knew she existed. Either way, he's making up for it now! Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , I'm afraid there's a bit of a time jump so we don't see Noel's reaction, but I think he'd actually respond a lot better to Honey being upset than Honey being pregnant! She's still his little girl. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like the way I've written Noel and Honey together - as this is a much nicer version of Honey, I wanted her to have a good relationship with her dad too.

 **Tanith Panic** , I certainly can't imagine anyone disliking Ethan! I suppose some dads might be intimidated by the thought of such a clever son-in-law, but Noel's used to doctors and he already knows Ethan's a sweetheart. Thank you for your review!

* * *

Honey sat in the waiting room on a hard, plastic chair, sucking a mint in an effort to combat her nausea and holding tightly to Ethan's hand. Noel sat on her other side, watching her with a concerned expression on her face. Her appointment time was actually forty minutes ago, but Ethan had told her that it wasn't just in the ED that people were kept waiting. He'd told her that appointment slots could be double- or even triple-booked, which seemed crazy to Honey. Ethan said most people didn't need their full fifteen-minute appointment and there were always cancellations and no-shows, but Honey couldn't imagine how it all worked out.

"At this rate, I'll probably die before they can see me," moaned Honey.

Ethan smiled and stroked her hand. "Oh, no. If you're in danger of dying, I'll take you to the ED. They'll see you straight away. I'll make sure of it."

"Oh, that makes everything all right then, doesn't it?" said Honey irritably. She didn't feel well and she was genuinely scared she might die and she didn't need her fiancé making jokes.

Ethan let go of her hand and put his arm around her instead. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know it's been a horrible couple of weeks for you. But today's appointment should be the start of things getting better."

"Well, they couldn't exactly get any worse!" Honey knew this wasn't true. Things could be a lot worse. But everything was annoying her. Especially Ethan.

Noel looked at his watch. "I said I'd be back in ten minutes. Is there any way of hurrying them up?"

Honey turned eagerly to her fiancé. She didn't like being annoyed with him and if he could do something really masterful like taking an endo-cringe-ologist to task, she was sure she'd feel much better. "Couldn't you do something, Ethan? I'm sure they'd listen to you."

"Absolutely no chance of that, I'm afraid," said Ethan with a smile Honey would normally have found adorable. "As far as they're concerned, I'm just your relative. I'm afraid I'm fairly useless outside the ED."

"You're not that much use inside the ED," muttered Honey. She didn't mean it, of course, but she was feeling sicker by the second, not to mention terrified. She wanted Ethan to make her feel better and he wasn't succeeding.

She felt guilty when she saw the hurt look, quickly masked, on Ethan's face. None of this was his fault. She shouldn't be taking it out on him.

"Ethan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" Honey stopped and jumped to her feet, her hand pressed to her mouth. She ran into the loos and ran into the nearest cubicle.

Then she felt someone supporting her head and holding her hair out of the way. "Poor sweetheart… it's going to be okay. I promise. I'm going to help you get through it. I love you, Honey." He kissed her hair. "I love you very much. It's okay."

Honey didn't think anyone had ever kissed her when she was throwing up before. She sat up and wiped her mouth on the tissue Ethan handed her. "You shouldn't even be in here!" she said and burst into tears.

Ethan put his arms around her. "This is exactly where I should be."

Honey sat in Ethan's arms until they heard someone knocking on the outside door. It creaked open about an inch. "Honey? The doctor's just called you."

"Thanks, Noel. We'll be out in a minute!" Ethan called back. He guided Honey over to the sinks and kept hold of her while she rinsed her mouth, still crying. Ethan gave her another tissue and opened the door to find Noel waiting anxiously outside.

"Were you sick again, love?" Noel said sympathetically.

His kindness made Honey cry even more. She wanted to stop: she wasn't a child, after all, and she knew she was worrying Ethan and Noel, but she was so tired and she felt as though she couldn't cope anymore.

Noel put his arms around her. "There. It's going to be okay, Honey. I'm here and Ethan's here. Come and see the doctor now and I'm sure she'll sort you out."

His voice was kind and soothing. Honey let go of Noel and wiped her eyes. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, darling," said Ethan. He wiped away a tear she'd missed and smiled. "Nothing."

The doctor was holding the door open for them. She was pretty, smiley and casually dressed. Honey felt fat and unattractive beside her, but she felt fat and unattractive beside everyone lately.

"Hi, you must be Miss Wright. I'm Dr Allen. Come in. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting for so long. Your dad said you weren't very well: are you all right now?"

"Yeah, I vommed in the loo," said Honey. "Sorry."

Dr Allen smiled. "Don't worry, Miss Wright. Would you like some water?" She pulled a bottle out of her desk drawer. "Please keep it. I got four for the price of one and I doubt I'll drink all of them."

"Thanks," said Honey gratefully. "You can call me Honey if you like. Everyone does."

"Honey, then. It's a pretty name. I would ask you to use my first name, but I don't want another lecture from the boss. Now, I've already met your dad." Dr Allen smiled at Noel, then turned to Ethan. "So you must be Honey's fiancé."

"Yes. That's right. Ethan Hardy," said Ethan, smiling and blushing as he acknowledged the relationship.

" _Dr_ Ethan Hardy," said Honey. "Ethan's a senior registrar in the ED."

"Oh, you must be Cal's little brother," said Dr Allen.

Honey rolled her eyes. It figured that every attractive woman in the hospital knew Cal!

"Cal's infinitely more successful and better-looking younger brother," said Noel, which made Ethan blush and fiddle self-consciously with his glasses.

He did look cute when he blushed.

But then again, when did Ethan not look cute?

Dr Allen made sure that Honey was happy for her father and brother to be present and then started to explain about the thyroid. "The thyroid is a gland in your neck shaped like a butterfly. It's one of those glands very few people hear about until it goes wrong and then, believe me, you notice it."

"Yeah, Ethan says my butterfly is flapping and flapping, but it can't ever settle and have a rest," said Honey. "But he says you can calm down and make it unflappable just like him."

"That's a good way of describing it," said Dr Allen with a smile for Ethan. "The thyroid produces hormones that control your metabolism – which means the way all your body cells use energy. If your metabolism isn't correctly controlled, you can have problems with your mood, your weight and your mental and physical energy levels. When the thyroid isn't functioning properly, it usually slows down production of the hormone, but in your case, it speeds up production. This can cause a lot of problems – such as increased heartbeat; weight loss; fatigue; tremors in your hands; sweating…" She stopped and smiled as she saw Honey nodding. "I can see some of these sound familiar. You might also find your appetite is increased; your periods are irregular; you might be restless and unable to sleep; you might be depressed or anxious… it can cause nausea and vomiting too."

"Yeah, I've got a lot of them," admitted Honey.

Dr Allen smiled. "It must be very difficult, Honey, but I'm going to try to sort that out for you. First, I need to ask a few questions about your general health – you've probably been through all this before and it can be very boring, so I'll be as quick as I can. Then I'll need to give you a physical examination, which won't be too intrusive – the most intrusive part is probably feeling your neck. Does that sound okay?"

"I think so," said Honey nervously. "It is all a bit… different."

"Of course it is," said Dr Allen. "But you'll be fine. I'll be as gentle as I can."

There weren't that many questions. Mostly about Honey's general health before the symptoms had started; her diet and about any recent hospital treatment.

"And are you pregnant, Honey, or planning to become pregnant?" said Dr Allen.

"Yeah, I am," said Honey, turning to smile at Ethan. "Planning, I mean. We were going to start trying tonight, after the appointment, weren't we, Ethan?"

Noel lifted his hands. "Honey, do you remember that little conversation we had about things you shouldn't tell your dad?"

"I wasn't telling you," said Honey. "I was telling Dr Allen."

Dr Allen was looking a bit worried, but then she smiled. "It's lovely you and Dr Hardy are going to try for a baby. I think it might be better not to start trying until we've got your thyroid under control, but I hope that won't be very long for you to wait."

Honey was starting to feel tearful again. "But I wanted to do it tonight!"

" _Honey!_ " said Noel, and clapped his hands over his ears.

Ethan was looking a bit red and embarrassed, but he still gave Honey a hug. "We've waited this long, darling. I'm sure we can wait a little bit longer. You need to be as healthy as possible for our baby, so it's worth waiting, um, a few more weeks, isn't it?"

"A few more lifetimes, more like!" said Honey.

But she knew Ethan was right.


	29. Chapter 29

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review - I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too.

 **Tato Potato** , Ethan really is perfect! He's really kind in the series (except to Cal sometimes) so I knew he'd be really supportive of Honey. Thank you for your review!

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. Honey doesn't always think before she speaks, so I can imagine her causing Noel a bit of embarrassment! I'm glad you like caring Ethan.

 **Tanith Panic** , I like tender and funny too - it's really nice to know I got it right! I don't think Honey was really thinking about logistics, but poor Noel. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Once Honey had answered the questions, she was asked to climb up onto the bed. Dr Allen took her pulse. She also took Honey's blood pressure, which made Ethan look worried because he obviously knew what all those numbers meant. She also lifted Honey's hands into the air and balanced a piece of paper on them, which showed just how much Honey's hands were shaking). It all seemed to go on for a very long time and not all of it made sense. Honey felt tired and emotional. She just wanted to go home.

Honey lifted her head slightly to catch a glimpse of Ethan. He must have seen something in her expression; he came to her side at once. "Excuse me, Dr Allen. Is it all right if I hold Honey's hand? I'll move if I'm in your way."

"Yes, of course," said Dr Allen. "I've nearly finished now anyway. You're doing really well, Honey. I know it can be overwhelming."

It was easier with Ethan holding her hand. He rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb and looked lovingly down at her. Honey felt her eyes fill with tears of happiness. Despite everything, she was still the luckiest person in the world because Ethan loved her.

Ethan looked momentarily worried when he saw the tears, but then he seemed to realise the cause of them. _I love you_ , he mouthed.

 _I love you too_.

"Right: now we're all done," said Dr Allen. "Well done, Honey. Sit up slowly and don't stand till you're ready."

Honey sat up slowly. She felt slightly dizzy, but it passed quite quickly. Ethan helped her down from the bed and supported her as they went to sit down.

"Now, I'd like to see you again in a couple of weeks, Honey," said Dr Allen. "You can make an appointment on the way out. You'll also need to have a scan done on your thyroid – you can make an appointment for that too – and you'll need to have various blood tests done a couple of days before your appointment. I'll give you a form with all the details so you won't have to worry about that. In the meantime, I'd like you to start taking a medication called carbimazole which will treat your thyroid itself, rather than just the symptoms."

Honey felt her hopes rising. "Do you mean I can stop taking that stupid proper-thingy?"

"Propranolol," said Ethan so sweetly, it didn't sound like he was correcting her at all.

Dr Allen turned to another page in her file. "I see what you mean. It does look as though the propranolol isn't helping your heartrate."

"No, it isn't!" said Honey at once. "It's making me worse. I feel even more sick on them and it makes me really anxious."

"It might seem that way," said Dr Allen, "but I think the problem is that you're just not on a high enough dose and the physical discomfort is actually a symptom of your hyperthyroidism. I'm going to double your dose and we'll see how it goes."

Honey stared at her in horror. "No, you can't! It makes me feel worse. I need to come off it, not take more!" Her eyes filled with tears. "Please don't make me take more."

Ethan put his arm around Honey. "Is there no alternative? Another kind of beta blocker, or perhaps a calcium channel blocker?"

Dr Allen looked sympathetic, but not as though she might change her mind. "We could change the medication, but Honey might have exactly the same problem. I would much rather you stuck with the propranolol, Honey. If they are causing side effects, they shouldn't last, and if it an effect of hyperthyroidism, the increased dosage will solve the problem."

Honey swallowed a sob and felt Ethan holding her more tightly.

"But there is something we can do that might help," said Dr Allen. "Rather than going straight from three tablets to six, you can start by going up to four for three days, then five, then the full six. It isn't ideal, but I don't want to make you any more uncomfortable than you are already."

Honey sobbed out loud this time. "If you really cared about that, you wouldn't make me take them!"

"There must be something you can do!" said Noel, putting his arm around Honey. "You're supposed to be making my daughter feel better, not worse!"

Dr Allen spoke kindly. "I'm sorry you're not getting on with the propranolol, Honey. I really am. But your thyroid levels are very high, and it's putting a lot of pressure on your heart. I really am sorry, but you do need to continue taking them."

"Or what?" cried Honey. "Will it kill me? Let it kill me!"

"Sweetheart," said Ethan. His voice was soft and not in the least reproving, but it made Honey feel guilty.

"I'm sorry," she said as she wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Can we go now, Ethan? I want to go home."

"Yes, of course you can," said Dr Allen. "If you don't feel up to making the appointments on the way out, one of you can always phone the department or visit in person later."

Honey sniffled and stood up. "Okay, Dr Allen. Thank you. I'm sorry I shouted at you."

Dr Allen patted her arm. "Don't worry. I gave you some bad news and you have a condition that makes you very emotional. I'll see you soon, okay?" She smiled at Ethan and Noel. "I can see you're in very good hands."

* * *

Ethan walked into the flat, sank down onto the sofa and put his head in his hands.

What a day.

Honey's appointment had been bad enough. Then he'd been late getting back to the hospital because Honey was crying so hard and he hadn't wanted to leave her. He knew Zoe would have tried to support him, but it was Connie who caught him on his way in. She seemed determined not to understand and pointed out that some of Ethan's patients might be in a much more serious condition than Honey.

After that, Ethan had been stressed and had made a couple of very slight mistakes. He spotted them at once and quickly corrected them, but Connie always seemed to be standing behind him and she left Ethan in no doubt of what she thought of him.

Cal got home about half an hour later to discover Ethan still on the sofa, not crying but dangerously close to it. "Nibbles? What's wrong?" Cal sat beside him. "Did Honey's appointment go badly?" He had asked Ethan briefly earlier, but they were both in the middle of seeing patients so Ethan had said everything was fine.

Ethan ended up telling him everything. "It was awful, Cal," he said, for once desperate for his brother's comfort. "Honey is so upset and so ill and we know the tablets are making it worse, but there's nothing we can do."

"Well, you can do prescriptions," said Cal. "Couldn't you cancel the propranolol and try her on something else? Or I could do it if you're too much of a good boy."

"I don't think I can really do that," said Ethan. "And if I do, it could delay Honey's treatment and then they might report me to Mrs Beauchamp for misuse of hospital prescriptions, which is the last thing I need…" To his horror, his voice was beginning to shake. "Why did this have to happen, Cal? Why did this have to happen to Honey? Why can't we just get married, have our baby and be happy?"

"Oh, Nibbles," said Cal sadly as he put his arm around him. "It's going to be okay. Honey will take her tablets and the side effects will go and then she'll be fine."

"But what if they don't go?" said Ethan, blinking hard. "What if she has to keep taking them forever and she feels like this forever?"

Cal stroked his shoulder. "I'm sure if she does have to take them forever, they will try to do something about the side effects. Besides, if they keep on making Honey feel ill and that makes her anxious, it's not going to take her heartrate down and they'll have to conclude it isn't working."

"I feel so helpless," said Ethan tremulously. "I'm sorry to go on about me when it's so much worse for Honey. But I'm supposed to be a doctor and I can't make my fiancée better."

"But you're not an endocrinologist," said Cal. "And if you were, you wouldn't be allowed to treat her, would you? None of this is your fault, okay?"

"I don't know!" Ethan knew Cal was right really, but he still felt he ought to be able to do something more. He closed his eyes and felt a tear running down his cheek. He brushed it away, not wanting Cal to see, but his other eye was watering now. "Sorry, Cal."

Cal patted his shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. You've had a hard day; life's a bitch and so's Mrs Beauchamp. You cry if you want to."

"I don't want to," said Ethan, but it didn't look like he was getting any say in the matter. His shoulders were shaking and quite a few tears had escaped now. He took his glasses off and wiped his hands across his face. "I-I just want Honey to get better."

"Come here, Nibbles," said Cal softly. "It's okay."

"No, I'm okay. I'm fine." Ethan tried to stop crying. He felt in his pockets for a tissue, but he must have given them all to Honey.

That was when his phone decided to ring.

"Give it to me," said Cal. "I'll say you're in the shower or something."

"No, it's Honey. I'd better speak to her." Ethan swallowed hard, sniffed a couple of times and cleared his throat. "Hi, sweetheart. How are you?"

"I just missed you," said Honey. She sounded sad. "I wanted to hear your voice."

"Well, I'm here," said Ethan, his voice completely steady now. "You can hear my voice for as long as you want to. And if you want to see me too, I can come over straight away. I love you, Honey. If there's anything you need, you only have to ask."


	30. Chapter 30

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review - it's so kind of you to say it's beautifully-written.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I'm glad you like Ethan and Honey together - but you're right that she's not coping! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , Connie probably would have been kinder if she knew the whole story, but as you say, she's doing her job and she needs Ethan to do his! Side effects are horrible - though mine lasted for months so I still maintain they weren't side effects! Thank you for your review.

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like Cal's supportiveness - I thought Ethan had enough problems without Cal making trouble!

 **ETWentHome** , Cal is probably unrealistically good at comforting Ethan, but Ethan has enough to worry about and brotherly discord would make the story even more complicated! But who doesn't love a bit of brotherly love? Thank you for your review!

* * *

It was worse on four tablets. So much worse. Honey barely slept and Noel sat up most of the night with her. When morning came, Noel called in sick so he could stay with Honey.

"You shouldn't have done that," Honey said when he'd finished the call. "I mean, thanks, Dad. I appreciate it. But I don't want you to get into trouble."

Noel kissed her head. "I'm not going to get into any trouble. And I didn't so much lie to anyone as _mislead_ them. I said I couldn't work due to sickness – but I didn't say the sickness was mine, did I?"

Honey gave a small smile and cuddled closer to him. She felt him stroking her hair.

"Besides, I'm too tired to work," said Noel. "And don't say that's your fault because I'm a big boy and I made the decision to stay up all night with you. And I'm happy I did. I see it as making up for lost time."

"If you want to make up for lost time, there must be more fun things than holding my hair for me while I throw up," said Honey.

"More fun, yes," said Noel. "No parent likes to see his child suffer. But this is one of the things I missed out on when you were growing up. The sleepless nights. Taking care of you when you're ill. Perhaps not fun, but important. For both of us. I never wanted you to suffer this much, Honey – or at all - but I'm glad I have the chance to look after you now you need it."

Honey reached up to kiss his cheek. "I wish you'd been around when I was little."

"So do I," said Noel. "I bet you were an adorable little kid. You probably weren't quite such an adorable teenager because very few teenagers are adorable, but I know I'd have loved you."

"I'd have loved you too," said Honey. "I probably wouldn't have said it to your face because I was a stroppy teenager, trying to prove how independent I was, but I'd have been secretly thinking that you're the best dad in the world."

"And I'd be not-so-secretly thinking that no man was good enough for my daughter," said Noel. He smiled. "I'd have been wrong though, wouldn't I? Ethan's good enough for my girl. Just about."

* * *

Ethan pulled the cubicle curtain aside and went red. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Cal shook his head. He was smiling, but there was a hint of worry in his eyes. "Ethan, if you weren't my brother, I'd start thinking you fancied me!"

"I'm sorry. I just… I don't know. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry." Ethan smiled weakly at the patient and backed out of the cubicle.

It was the fourth time that morning he'd gone into one of Cal's cubicles instead of his own. On three of the occasions, Cal had been in there, but the other time had been even worse because it had taken Ethan so long to realise he'd got the wrong patient.

"Sort it out, Ethan," he muttered to himself. "Just sort it out."

"Talking to yourself, Dr Hardy?" said Connie as she walked past. "They say that's the first sign of madness."

Ethan watched her go and wondered if she was right. He did feel rather as though he was going mad. He rested his head against the wall for a moment and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the busy sounds of the hospital.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Ethan, are you okay?" Cal looked very worried.

"I'm fine," said Ethan, and gave Cal a practised smile of reassurance.

"Ethan, you walked into my cubicle four times in… twenty minutes?" said Cal. "And now you've started talking to yourself. You're not fine."

"I've got to be fine," said Ethan. "I have patients to treat."

Cal stood with a hand on each of Ethan's shoulders. "No, Ethan. You're first job is to make sure _you're_ okay. If you can't make yourself fine, then take a break."

"I don't need a break," said Ethan softly.

Cal's face was serious. "The fact you haven't shouted at me for interfering in your life yet tells me that isn't true."

Ethan made a half-hearted attempt at raising his voice. "Then stop interfering in my life, Caleb." He knew he ought now to storm back to cubicles – ideally his cubicles and not Cal's – but he didn't move.

"I will," said Cal. "Once you've stopped needing your life interfering with."

Ethan dropped his head.

"Ethan, I just made a grammatical error – well, I think I did – and you haven't even corrected me."

"Okay, I'll take a break," said Ethan.

He didn't argue when Cal went with him. After all, Cal had as much right as he did to go to the staff room. Once they got there, Cal pushed Ethan in the direction of the sofa and made him some coffee. Ethan thought about asking Cal not to put sugar in, but he decided it was too much effort.

Cal did move his hand towards the sugar, but then he looked at Ethan and seemed to change his mind.

Ethan leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. He hadn't slept too well last night. He'd told Honey she could call or text anytime, but although she hadn't done either, Ethan hadn't been able to stop worrying and he'd kept waking up with a jolt and quickly checking his phone. He didn't think he'd slept for more than ten minutes at a time.

"Ethan? _Nibbles_!"

Ethan jolted awake again. "Sorry."

Cal shook his head. "I'm not even sure if I want to give you this coffee. I don't want you falling asleep when you're holding it!"

"I won't," said Ethan.

"Well, it's too hot for you now," said Cal, and put it on the floor.

Ethan closed his eyes just for a second.

He opened them when someone started giggling. He realised his head was on Cal's shoulder and Robyn was standing there laughing while Max took a photo and Lofty looked concerned.

Cal was glaring at them. "Okay, you've got your photo: now go and do some work and leave him alone."

"Rough night, Ethan?" said Max. "But was it a rough night with Honey or with Lily?" He poked Lofty in the side. "Or with both of them!"

Robyn managed to control her giggles enough to give him a reproving look. "Leave it, Max. Come on. We'd better get back to work."

She and Max both left, but Lofty stayed where he was, still looking at Ethan. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you think you might be coming down with something?"

Ethan smiled and shook his head. "I'm just a bit tired. I didn't sleep very well."

"I'm trying to persuade him to go home," said Cal. "He keeps telling me he's fine, then he goes to sleep on me. Literally."

"I don't need to go home," said Ethan.

"Yeah, and _I_ don't need to sort my life out," said Cal sarcastically.

"You could always have a nap at lunchtime," Lofty suggested hesitantly.

"If he can last that long," said Cal.

Ethan sighed. He picked up his coffee from the floor and drank it quickly. "Right. I feel much better now. Time to get back to work."

He walked out of the staff room, trying not to think about the worried looks he was sure Cal and Lofty were exchanging behind his back.

* * *

Ethan was exhausted.

He'd managed not to go into Cal's cubicles again, but he felt half-asleep. Once or twice, he'd wondered if he dared go and ask Connie if he could stay in cubicles today. He didn't think it would be a good idea for him to work in Resus in his current condition – but he also didn't think it would be a good idea to make a request like that of Connie.

Ethan held the patient's notes up to his face so the patient wouldn't see him yawning. "No, Mr Chester, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go back to sleep," he said when he'd finished.

Neil Chester gave him an odd look. "Work," he said.

"Excuse me?" said Ethan, wondering if he wasn't doing his job in some way.

"You mean you don't see any reason why I shouldn't go back to _work_ ," said Neil.

Ethan was confused. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

Neil was one of those people who liked everything to be exact. "No. You said there wasn't any reason why I shouldn't go back to _sleep_."

"Did I?" Ethan said guiltily. "I'm sorry, Mr Chester. I don't know what's wrong with me today."

Neil laughed. "It looks like you're the one who ought to be going back to sleep, Dr Hardy."

"Um, perhaps," said Ethan, but he knew he wouldn't.

He had a job to do.


	31. Chapter 31

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm really glad you like what I'm doing with the story. Ethan and Honey both really need support at the moment.

 **CBloom2** , I agree, Ethan definitely shouldn't be treating patients in his current condition. Just got to hope he listens to Cal... that would (almost) be a first! Thank you for your review.

 **Tato Potato** , it's lucky that Cal hasn't got into any messes yet in this story - maybe he's too busy looking after Ethan to mess his own life up! It is nice writing such a supportive Cal. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like Noel and Honey's relationship. My relationship with my dad is more like a father/son relationship (we just talk about football and girls, never emotions!) so it's been interesting writing Noel and Honey.

 **ETWentHome** , I'm so glad you like the father/daughter relationship. It's a bit different from my relationship with my dad! Ethan definitely needs to go home before he makes a serious mistake! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Once Ethan had discharged his patient, he went to the staff room for more coffee. He could have gone to Honey's shop and asked the agency barista to make him a cup, but that seemed disloyal to Honey, and he knew the coffee wouldn't be nearly as good. He switched on the kettle, then he took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

"Ethan, what's wrong?" said a worried voice, and he turned to see Lily.

"I'm fine," Ethan said through an enormous yawn.

"No. You are tired," said Lily. She looked at him disapprovingly. "Last night wasn't your stag night, was it?"

"No, that won't be until nearer the wedding," said Ethan. He hadn't really thought about the stag night, except to worry about what Cal had meant when he'd told Ethan he had 'big plans' for it.

"Then what happened?" said Lily.

Ethan sighed. "It's Honey."

Lily looked concerned. "Isn't she feeling any better?"

"No, she's worse," said Ethan. "We went to the… um… endo… the thyroid doctor yesterday and told her the… the um… the tablet makes Honey feel worse. The doctor doubled her dosage."

"That doesn't make sense," said Lily.

Ethan yawned again. "Sorry, Lily. The doctor… the endocrinologist thinks the side effects are actually um… you know." He searched his tired brain for the correct word. "Symptoms. That's right. She thinks that increasing the dosage would get rid of the symptoms."

"Perhaps that does make sense," said Lily. "It is worth looking into at least."

"Maybe," said Ethan doubtfully.

"Ethan, the kettle's boiled."

"Oh. Oh, yes. Thank you." Ethan picked up the kettle and started to pour.

"The endocrinologist probably wants to rule out the possibility of it being symptoms before she tries decreasing the- Ethan, you're missing your cup!"

Ethan opened his eyes to discover he was pouring hot water onto the counter.

Lily held out her hand. "Give me the kettle, Ethan. Now go and sit down."

Ethan was too tired to argue. He sat on the sofa and closed his eyes.

"If Honey is severely tachycardic – and it sounds like she is – reducing the medication could be dangerous," said Lily. "Increasing the medication might be severely unpleasant, but it's not likely to kill her."

"Mm," said Ethan.

Lily started speaking again, but Ethan didn't bother to listen to the words. The next thing he knew, someone was shaking his shoulder.

"Leave me alone, Caleb," he mumbled.

"It's not Caleb. It's Lily," said a sharp voice. "And you need to go home right now!"

Ethan opened his eyes, wondering what Lily was doing in his bedroom. Then he realised he wasn't in his bedroom at all. He was in the staff room at work. "Oh goodness. How long have I been asleep?"

"Not long," said Lily. Significantly, she added: "But _too_ long. If you're falling asleep at work, you shouldn't be working."

"I'm awake now!" said Ethan.

Lily sat down beside him. "Ethan, you're very tired. I think it's great you're so committed to your job, but you must see you're not in any state to work. This is not a job where you can afford to make a mistake. If you make a mistake, someone could die."

Ethan tried to rub his eyes and realised he had his glasses on.

"You know I'm right, Ethan, don't you?" said Lily. "If we were working together and I fell asleep, would you send me home?"

Ethan tried to think. He didn't know why Lily was asking him such difficult questions. "I think I would… I would recommend that you go home."

"And now _I'm_ recommending it," said Lily. "For your own good, Ethan; for your patients' good; for your colleagues' good; for Honey's good. I'm recommending that you go home."

* * *

Honey whimpered to herself as she waited to be taken off hold. She felt like she'd been here for hours. Why couldn't doctors just answer their phones?

Then at last, she heard a voice. "Miss Wright? Are you still there?"

"Just about," said Honey.

"I'm sorry? Miss Wright? I didn't quite catch that. Are you there?"

"Of course I'm still here!" said Honey. "I wouldn't be saying anything at all if I wasn't still here, would I?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Wright, but I can't get through to Dr Allen at the moment. Perhaps you'd like to try again this afternoon."

"Can't you just tell her I called and ask her to-" Honey stopped as she realised the stupid woman had hung up. Honey flung her phone across the room.

It crashed against the wall, then fell to the floor in two separate pieces. Honey sank down on the floor and started to cry.

"Honey?" Noel came out of the kitchen. "Are you okay? I heard a crash. Are you… Honey?" She felt Noel's arms going around her. "What's wrong, love?"

"I broke my phone!" wailed Honey.

"It's okay," said Noel, stroking her hair. "I'll buy you a new one. Did you get through to Dr Allen?"

"No: they put me on hold for ages and ages, then they said she couldn't take my call!"

Noel rocked her gently in his arms. "it's okay, love. We'll try again later. Don't cry. It's going to be okay." He kissed her head and then held her away from him, smiling. "It's your engagement party the day after tomorrow, isn't it?"

Honey cried harder. "I don't want an engagement party! I can't do it, Dad. Any of it. I just want things to go back to how they were."

"Oh, I know, love." Noel hugged her close again. "I know. But if you hold on for just a few more weeks, things will be better than how they were. That's got to be worth doing, hasn't it?"

"I don't know!" cried Honey.

Noel stroked her hair. "Trust me, Honey. It is worth doing. There. Don't cry. Um…. I know. How about we phone Ethan? You'd like to talk to Ethan, wouldn't you?"

"I haven't got a phone," sniffled Honey.

"I've got a phone," Noel reminded her. "I'll call him on my phone, then you can speak to him. Okay?"

Honey sniffed and wiped her nose on her hand. "I don't see how Ethan can help with anything!"

"Now, you don't mean that." Noel let go of her and went to get her a tissue. "Here you are. Have a big blow and I'll phone Ethan for you."

"A big blow?" echoed Honey. "I'm not a baby, you know!"

"You're _my_ baby," said Noel. "And I love you, but the runny nose really isn't a good look, even for you."

Honey had a relatively small blow and wiped her eyes. "Can I phone Ethan now?" she asked, more quietly.

"Course you can." Noel got his phone out of his pocket. "Do you want to do it yourself? There you are."

Honey leaned against him as she dialled Ethan's number. She still felt very upset, but it was good to know her dad was there. She felt him putting his arm around her and gave him a small smile. Noel gave her a warm smile in return and kissed her hair.

Honey held the phone to her ear. It rang a few times, then stopped, and Honey waited to hear the voice she loved.

"Hello, this is Dr Ethan Hardy's phone," said a female voice. "I'm afraid Dr Hardy can't take your call now as I'm taking him home to bed. But you may leave a message if you like."

The phone fell from Honey's fingers.

"Hey, what is it with you and phones today?" Noel hurriedly snatched it up. "You'd better not have broken it, that's all I can… Honey, what's wrong?"

Honey buried her face in Noel's chest and began to sob. "Everything, Dad. My whole life. Everything."


	32. Chapter 32

**ETWentHome** , I'm afraid Honey has misinterpreted it! I wanted Lily to be a good friend to Ethan as I love it when they're friends, though that doesn't mean she'll get it right all the time... Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm always wanting to throw phones across the room! I've resisted the urge so far, but everything is a disaster to Honey at the moment. It does sound weird, but that's what my endocrinologist did. Thank you for your review.

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. Honey has got the wrong end of the stick, unfortunately. I'm sure Ethan will try to explain.. if he can!

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. You'll find out who the woman was in this chapter!

* * *

Lily watched pointedly as Ethan crawled into bed. Ethan knew it was slightly dodgy, letting Lily into his bedroom, especially when she'd only recently confessed to having feelings for him, but she was determined he needed to sleep and he didn't think he had the energy to do anything but obey.

"Okay, I'm in bed," mumbled Ethan, his eyes already closing.

Lily reached over and removed his glasses. The case was beside his bed and Ethan heard the familiar clicks of the case being opened, then closed again.

"Now, you stay there," said Lily. "If I see you back at work, I will not be happy."

"Mm." Ethan just wanted her to go away so he could sleep.

Then a sound came to his ears. The sound of his phone. Ethan groped for it on the bedside table, but it wasn't there. He must have left it in his coat pocket.

"Ignore it," said Lily.

"No, I need to answer it," Ethan mumbled into the bedclothes. "It might be Honey."

"Okay," said Lily. "I'll answer it. If it's Honey, I'll let you talk to her. If it's anyone else, I'll tell them you can't come to the phone at present."

"It might be important," said Ethan sleepily.

"Nothing is more important than you getting a good night's sleep," said Lily severely. "If it's Honey, you can speak to her, but everyone else will have to wait." She started to leave the room.

"Thanks, Lily. It should be in my coat pocket," murmured Ethan. "Or possibly my bag."

He closed his eyes and drifted off, only to jolt awake as Lily re-entered the room.

There was a puzzled look on her face. "How rude. I spoke to him and he slammed the phone down! I hope he doesn't behave like that at work."

Ethan yawned. "Never mind. I'll call him back later." If it was a he, it wasn't Honey so it couldn't be important. Almost as an afterthought, he asked: "Who was it?"

"Noel," said Lily.

Ethan sat bolt upright. "Lily, why didn't you let me talk to him?"

"Noel works at the ED," said Lily. "I don't want anyone bothering you with work problems today."

"But Noel's Honey's dad!" said Ethan. He pushed the bedclothes back and got out of bed. "He might be phoning to say there's something wrong with Honey!"

Guilt crossed Lily's face. "You're right, Ethan. I'm sorry. I assumed he was phoning about work. I'll phone him back."

"No, I'll phone him!" said Ethan. He took the phone from Lily more roughly than he'd intended to and searched his contacts for Noel's number. He pressed the call button, waited tensely, listening… Then he let his hand fall to his side. "Oh my God!"

Lily caught his arm. "Ethan, sit down."

Ethan numbly let her help him to sit down on the bed.

"What's wrong?" said Lily anxiously. "Were you cut off?"

"No, he put the phone down," said Ethan, feeling a bit teary. He was so tired and so worried about Honey and now…

Lily sat beside him. "Tell me what happened."

"Noel swore at me!" said Ethan in a shocked little voice, which he knew mainly came from exhaustion. He'd been called the same thing at work too many times to let it upset him as a rule. "I can't tell you exactly what he said. It wouldn't be right to say it to you, not even in quote marks. But the gist of it was that I'm a not terribly nice person and I was to, um, remove myself from his presence, by which I assume he means to get off the phone, and keep my distance from Honey in future. He was really quite emphatic about it."

"There must be some misunderstanding," said Lily. "You stay here and sleep and I will speak to Noel when I get back to work."

Ethan put his glasses on and tried to speak more calmly. "Noel's not at work today. I'll go to the flat and speak to him."

"No, Ethan, you're too tired!" said Lily.

But Ethan found he did have the strength to say no to her after all. "Lily, I'm going. I can't sleep now. I have to find out what I've done wrong and put it right."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" said Lily, when the taxi had stopped outside the flat.

"Of course I'm sure," said Ethan. He was feeling much more awake now and if Honey wasn't happy for any reason, he definitely wanted to do something about it.

He threw open the door of the taxi (barely missing a lamp-post and earning himself a few choice words from the driver that shocked him a bit) and hurried towards the flat.

Then he heard Lily's voice behind him. "Ethan, wait!"

"What is it?" said Ethan, who was anxious to see Honey.

"Just wait a minute." To his relief, Lily could move quite fast in her heels. "Ethan, I don't think you should do this alone."

"Lily, I don't need a babysitter!" said Ethan sharply. "I'm going to have a baby of my own in nine months."

Lily looked stunned. He couldn't tell if she was hurt or just completely shocked. Ethan really wished he hadn't mentioned it.

"Honey's pregnant?" said Lily. "For real?"

"Not yet, but we're hoping we'll… I mean that we'll… well, we want to have a baby." Ethan turned away, to hide his own embarrassment as much as to spare Lily's feelings.

"I do understand," said Lily softly. When Ethan turned back, he saw the concern on her face. "But..." She broke off.

"I'm sorry," said Ethan gently.

"No, I don't mean..." Lily seemed to come to a decision. "Ethan, I know this is none of my business, but… it would be very difficult for Honey to have a baby now. If the medication doesn't work…"

Ethan nodded. "I know, Lily. I know we need to wait. I just haven't told Honey… you know."

The concern on Lily's face deepened. "You haven't… Ethan, you need to tell her. She's going to be devastated."

"I know," said Ethan unhappily. "That's why I don't want to tell her unless we have to. She's so upset already."

"Ethan, however upset she might be when you tell her, it's going to be much worse if she finds out for the first time in her doctor's appointment," said Lily seriously. "And how do you think she's going to feel, knowing you kept something like this from her?"

"I suppose she wouldn't like it," said Ethan. He pushed a hand through his hair. "But I can't worry about that now. If I don't sort things out with Honey and Noel, there won't ever be a baby."

"That's true," said Lily. "You're right. You have other things to consider now. I'm just saying you need to tell her soon."

"I will," said Ethan, and quickly changed the subject because he didn't know if it was a promise he could keep. It had been one thing on top of another for Honey, and there was no guarantee it would come to… to that. So perhaps it was kinder not to mention it. "Thanks for bringing me here, Lily. If you can really spare the time, I'm happy for you to come and speak to Honey and Noel with me."

"I think it might be best," said Lily.

Ethan wasn't sure, but he nodded and together, they walked to the door of Noel's flat. Ethan rang the bell.

There was a short silence, then Noel answered it. He saw Lily first and gave an uncertain smile; then he saw Ethan and his face twisted with rage. "You?" he yelled, and slammed his fist into Ethan's face.

Ethan was too shocked even to try to duck. The fist made contact with his nose and he fell flat on his back. He lay there, stunned, wondering vaguely if he was hurt or not, but mostly wondering what was going on.

"Oh my God!" Lily knelt beside Ethan. "Ethan, can you hear me?"

"Just get out, both of you!" said Noel, and Ethan yelped as Noel's foot connected with his kneecap. "You've got a nerve coming here at all, but especially bringing that… that slut with you!"

"Slut?" said Ethan, completely confused. He didn't think he knew any sluts, though it was difficult to be sure of anything much when his nose and his knee hurt so much.

Lily had got to her feet. "Are you referring to me?" she asked in the glacial tones that she usually saved for her most difficult patients.

"Of course I'm referring to you!" said Noel. "I didn't know who it was at first, but as soon as I saw you, I knew."

"At _first_?" said Lily, sounding very confused, while Ethan moaned to himself and put his hands to his nose.

"Don't play dumb with me!" said Noel. "A word of advice: if you don't want your boyfriend's fiancée's father to know everything, you shouldn't tell him you're getting his one-time future son-in-law into bed!"


	33. Chapter 33

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Nobody is pregnant yet, but Ethan and Honey want to try for a baby as soon as Honey's health allows it. I'm sorry it wasn't clear.

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. I think Ethan is more confused than hurt or upset at the moment, but he might be upset once he's fully processed what's going on.

 **ETWentHome** , Noel will feel very bad when he finds out the truth - but you're right that he's not in a listening mood at the moment! Thank you for your review.

 **CBloom2** , it's a very bad misunderstanding! As if Ethan would ever cheat on anyone. I'm sure it will be sorted out... eventually... thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. Ethan does need to tell Honey, though I can't see her listening to anything he says at the moment. I can imagine Noel calling Ethan a f*ckboy, but I tend to stick to language that would be used in Casualty.

* * *

"I'm not getting Ethan into…" Lily stopped. "Why would you think…"

Ethan sat up, belatedly remembering it wasn't good to lie on your back when your nose was bleeding. "Excuse me," he said, very politely. "I don't suppose anyone has a tissue?"

"Yeah!" said Noel. "But I need them for my daughter who's crying her eyes out over you."

"Over me?" said Ethan, bewildered. "What have I done?"

Noel snorted. "What have you done? Listen to him. He's actually almost convincing."

"And… I-I'm terribly sorry," said Ethan, "but did you just call me your _one-time_ future son-in-law? Because I really think there's been some mistake."

"Yes. Yes, there has," said Lily awkwardly. "It was my fault."

Noel glared at her. "I think you'll find it takes two to tango. Now get lost, the pair of you. If you need anything at work, you'll have to ask Jack because you won't be getting anything out of me. Unless you want another punch, Ethan!"

Ethan and Lily both started to speak, but Noel slammed the door. There was a silence, then they both looked at each other, Ethan still sitting on the ground.

"We'd better sort out your nose," said Lily at last. "I have tissues in my handbag, but I must have left it in the taxi. Did you hit your head at all?"

"Oh… I don't think so," said Ethan faintly.

Lily frowned. "You don't think so?"

"I mean… no. No, I'm sure I didn't. But… Lily, what happened?" Ethan was starting to feel upset. "Does Noel think I'm seeing you behind Honey's back? Why would he think that?"

"It… it was my fault," said Lily, a guilty look on her face. "I'm sorry, Ethan."

Ethan stared at her in disbelief, his hands over his bleeding nose. "You told Noel I was sleeping with you?"

"I… I think I probably did."

"But… why?" said Ethan, bewildered. "Were you drunk?"

"No, I wasn't," said Lily. "I'll explain in a minute. We need to stop the bleeding. Can you stand up?" She offered Ethan her hand.

"But…" Ethan felt the blood soaking his hands and realised she had a point. He held out one blood-soaked hand to Lily. She looked concerned, but not disgusted. She seized it and, putting another hand on his shoulder, helped him to his feet.

"I hope they're not watching us through the window," muttered Lily as she put her arm around Ethan's waist and helped him to walk. Ethan considered suggesting she didn't do that, but he did feel a bit unsteady. Emotionally as well as physically.

"So… Honey and I aren't engaged anymore?" he said sadly.

"I'm sure it's only temporary," said Lily. They reached the taxi and she opened the door for him. "Sit there. Try not to bleed on the seat or our driver will not be happy."

Ethan sat down and put his hands over his nose again. "I don't understand."

"What is there not to understand about not bleeding on the seat?" said Lily. She sat beside him and picked up her handbag from the seat. "Here you are. Tissues. I'm sure you know what to do."

"What did you say to them?" said Ethan as he held a tissue over his nose. He felt weak and dizzy and wasn't entirely sure it was due to either the blood loss or the punch. "How can they think… how can Honey think…" His voice caught and he fell silent.

Lily looked guilty. "My words were misinterpreted and perhaps badly-chosen. I'm not sure exactly what I said, but it was something about getting you into bed."

"Oh, I see. Well, I don't see what's wrong with-" Ethan stopped and groaned. "Lily, what did you say that for?"

"Why shouldn't I say it?" said Lily blankly. "What's wrong with it?"

Ethan decided it was much too embarrassing to explain and in any case, he shouldn't really be talking. "It's okay. But I can see how Noel misinterpreted it."

Lily thought for a moment, then looked disapproving. "Some men interpret everything in the rudest possible way."

Ethan closed his eyes. The more he thought about everything, the worse he felt. "Lily, what am I going to do?"

"Go home and rest," said Lily.

"But what about Honey?" Ethan's voice was much closer to a wail than he wanted it to be.

Lily was silent for a moment. "I'll take you home and get you settled. Then I'll go and explain to Honey and Noel. I am sure, once I explain, everything will be all right."

Ethan felt momentarily comforted, but then he thought of something else. "But why didn't she know I'd never do something like that? She knows me. She can't really think I'd ever do anything to hurt her. Doesn't she know how much I love her?"

"Ethan, I have no idea what's going on in Honey's head." There was an edge to Lily's voice. "I am much more concerned about _your_ head. You are behaving rather oddly. I'm going to take you to the ED to get you checked out."

"Oh, no. I'm sure there's no need," said Ethan, but Lily asked the taxi driver to take them to the hospital.

"Do you feel as though you've just been hit on the back of the head?" said Lily.

"Yes," said Ethan honestly. "And in the stomach too. And everywhere."

Lily didn't take her eyes off the road, but Ethan didn't miss the startled look on her face. "In the stomach? How long have you been having stomach pains, Ethan?"

"Ever since I realised Honey and I weren't engaged anymore," said Ethan sadly.

"it is probably just nerves," said Lily, "but perhaps it will be as well to scan you while you're here. Does your back hurt too?"

Ethan felt tears pricking his eyes. "Everything hurts."

"Which pain would you say is the worst?"

"My heart," said Ethan.

Lily looked even more concerned. "Can you describe the pain?"

"Like I've been stabbed or something," said Ethan sadly.

Lily did take her eyes off the road this time. "It could be just emotional, but we can't take the chance." She was silent for a moment, her head tilted towards Ethan. "Your breathing is shallow too. I hope you're not breathing through your nose."

Ethan made sure he wasn't. He tried to slow his breathing, but it wasn't easy. There was a tight ball of emotion in his chest (which wasn't really in his heart in the biological sense, but that hardly seemed important now) and all he wanted was to see Honey. He felt tired, confused, completely powerless and utterly heartbroken. He closed his eyes again and leaned back against the seat. "I just don't know how she can't know."

Lily sighed. "Honey isn't psychic. Tilt your head forward, Ethan."

"Yes, she is," said Ethan loyally as he obeyed her instruction. He didn't really believe in being psychic, but if it made Honey happy to think she was psychic, then she was psychic.

"Clearly not," said Lily.

Ethan took a shaky breath. "If I'd just answered the phone…"

"Please stop talking," said Lily. She sighed, then spoke more gently. "Ethan, it will be all right. Couples have misunderstandings all the time. A lot of engagements have temporary break-ups. We see it all the time in the ED. I have seen more engagement rings handed out and returned in Resus than I have seen in the jeweller's shop window."

At any other time, Ethan would probably have smiled.

"I will go back to Noel and Honey as soon as I have delivered you into the care of a doctor," said Lily. "I will explain what I said to Noel. I will explain that you have been blubbering all the way to the hospital."

"I have not been blubbering!" said Ethan.

"Close enough," said Lily. "Once I have explained everything to Honey and Noel, they will see they have made a mistake. I'm sure they will then contact you to apologise. Then you can tell them how upset and hurt you are and put the phone down."

Ethan frowned. "Put the phone down?"

"You don't think you should forgive them immediately, do you?" said Lily, as though this was a question she really shouldn't have to ask.

"I… I don't know," said Ethan. He wanted to say yes. All he wanted was to hold Honey in his arms again. To reassure her that he loved her more than anything . To reassure her of his love. To kiss away any remaining tears. But he was so confused. He felt like he didn't know anything anymore.

* * *

Honey didn't think she'd ever felt like this before. Every sob was a painful effort, but she couldn't stop them from escaping noisily into Noel's shoulder. Between sobs, she howled and moaned out her desolation. Her eyes burned with the tears that poured out of them and her face felt sore from the salty water.

"Oh, Honey,"" sighed Noel as he rocked her in his arms. "I'm so sorry, love. I'm so sorry. I really thought Ethan was a good man. I wouldn't have let him near you otherwise."

"I love him," wailed Honey. "Why do I still love him, Dad?"

"Oh… well… I don't know," said Noel awkwardly. "I suppose… I suppose love can make you a bit crazy. Yeah. I'm sure people have said that before."

Honey lifted his head from his shoulder and raised her eyes to the ceiling. "I just want him back!"

Noel wiped some of the tears from her face. "I know, love. I know. But you won't always feel that way."

"I hope I won't," said Honey, as more tears streamed from her eyes. "I want to die, Dad. I don't want to be here without Ethan. I can't go through everything without Ethan."

"You've still got me," said Noel. "And I love you. And I know you can do this. You're a strong girl, Honey. You came all this way to find me, didn't you? You did that all on your own."

Honey put her head back on his shoulder. "That's nothing in comparison with this."

"I know, but you've got me with you this time," said Noel. "And you know I'll do anything for you." His voice hardened. "And if that Dr Hardy shows his face round here, I'll do it for you all over again."


	34. Chapter 34

**Tanith Panic** , I've only seen about two years' worth of Casualty episodes, but I've seen a surprisingly large number of rings! I think Noel secretly wants to be Action Man, but I'm sure he'll listen eventually. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , I think you're right about poor Ethan's heart! I also agree that Noel certainly has the right ideas regarding Honey, even if he doesn't act on them in the best possible way. Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like Noel's protectiveness of Honey - he might be new to being a dad, but he's doing his best.

* * *

When they arrived at the ED, Lily gave Ethan some clean tissues and helped him out of the taxi. As they walked, Ethan kept his head down, letting Lily guide him. He didn't realise there was anyone outside the ED until he heard his name being called.

"Ethan! Lily, what happened?" Ethan heard pounding feet and a few seconds later, Cal was beside him.

"Noel punched him," said Lily.

"Oh God," said Cal as he took Ethan by the arms. "Are you okay?"

Ethan nodded weakly and unconvincingly into his tissues.

"He fell over and I think he might have hit the back of his head," said Lily. "He appears very confused and disorientated."

"Why did he punch him?" Cal put his arm firmly around Ethan as they went into the ED.

There was a short silence before Lily replied. "I… I was trying to persuade Ethan to go to bed when Noel phoned and I told him what I was doing. I might have worded it in a… a misleading way."

Cal burst out laughing.

Ethan turned to stare at him, too hurt to be angry, and Cal quickly stopped laughing.

"Sorry, Ethan. It's not funny. It's not funny at all. Come on: let's get you inside and have a look at you."

"You can't treat him!" said Lily severely.

Cal glared at her. "You don't seriously think I'm going to let _you_ treat him. I think you've done enough! You had no business taking him home anyway. That's my job!"

"Then you should have done it before," said Lily.

Ethan sighed and spoke in a small voice that made both his fellow registrars look anxious. "Please can you stop arguing? My fiancée has just ended our engagement and I don't think I can cope with arguments just now. Please just patch me up and let me go home?"

* * *

Noel kissed Honey's head and stood up. "I'll make you some tea, love. I won't be long."

He went into the kitchen. Honey was still crying, but silently now. She wiped her eyes and sniffed, then she reached out her hand for another tissue.

Light caught the ring on her finger. Honey looked at it sparkling and remembered the moment when Ethan had given it to her. She'd loved it and felt so proud to be wearing a ring that had once been worn by his mother, but all of a sudden, she hated it. It symbolised a false love and it symbolised her own stupidity in believing it.

With another burst of tears, she tore the ring from her finger and flung it onto the floor, but it wasn't enough. It lay there, twinkling up at her. Gloating.

Honey got up and tried to stamp on it, but she wasn't wearing shoes and it hurt her foot. Even angrier now, she took it up again and looked around desperately for a place to hide it, but there was nowhere. The waste paper basket was no good because she would know it was there. She didn't want it in the flat.

She ran to the door and opened it, bringing her arm back behind her and then hurling the ring as hard as she could in the direction of the road. She listened for the sound of it hitting the path, but she heard nothing. She looked around for it and couldn't find it, finally spotting the drain in the road. Perhaps it had gone down there. Honey hoped so.

She shut the door and went back inside, feeling pleased with what she'd done, but the feeling didn't last.

Ethan loved that ring.

Guilt rose up inside her and she began to cry again, burying her face in her hands.

What Ethan had done to her had been terrible. He'd thrown away something Honey had regarded as precious.

But Honey realised she'd done exactly the same thing.

* * *

Ethan felt no relief on discovering his nose wasn't broken and that there was no damage to the back of his head. He was just glad to be able to go home again. He didn't know whether he wanted to sleep or cry, but both activities would be best done on his own, in bed.

When Ethan was finally discharged, Cal put a sympathetic arm around his shoulders and said he'd drive him. "You're too tired even to think about it and you've had a shock too."

For once, Ethan did as Cal said without argument (though this was partly because, for once, Cal was talking sense). On the way home, Cal tried to reassure Ethan that Honey still loved him and it would all work out, but Ethan was convinced it was over. No matter how many times he and Lily might say there was nothing between them, it wasn't really something for which they could provide evidence.

Well, that wasn't quite true. There were medical ways of proving that he and Lily had not slept together recently, but that wouldn't prove that they hadn't done it at any other time. Not unless Lily was a virgin and Ethan had a feeling Cal had ensured that wasn't the case.

So much in a relationship had to be taken on trust and while Ethan believed in Honey's fidelity absolutely, he could understand, as much as it hurt him, why she couldn't feel the same trust in him.

"We're here, Nibbles," said Cal.

Ethan got wearily out of the car and the two brothers went up to their flat. Ethan went straight into his bedroom and lay down, trying not to think about what had happened the last time he'd been here.

"Will you be okay if I leave you?" said Cal worriedly.

"Caleb, my fiancée has just left me," snapped Ethan. "How am I supposed to be okay ever again?"

He hadn't meant to say that. He also hadn't meant for his eyes to fill with tears.

Cal sat on the bed beside him. "I'm sure it'll work out, Ethan. Honey loves you. She does have a habit of jumping to conclusions, but she does usually listen when someone explains how it really is."

"But what if she doesn't?" said Ethan. "What if she has to go through the hyperthyroidism alone?"

Cal looked almost emotional. "Ethan, are you seriously telling me you've just had your heart broken and you're worrying about her health?"

"Yes!" said Ethan.

* * *

Honey nibbled the chocolate bar Noel had got for her, but her mind was on the ring. She hadn't told Noel she'd thrown it away and being a man, he wasn't observant enough to notice it was no longer on her finger. Unless he had seen and had decided not to mention it.

She kept telling herself she had no reason to be guilty. After all, Ethan had shown himself unworthy of her.

But he loved that ring and like it or not, Honey loved Ethan.

A tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away, but not before Noel had seen.

He reached for her hand. "It'll get easier, love."

"I just want him back!" cried Honey.

Noel put his arms around her. "I know you do, Honey. It's natural to feel like that for a little while. But after everything he's done, you know you can't take him back, don't you?"

The way Honey was feeling now, she was almost considering it.

"If a man has got it in him to cheat, it's very unlikely he'll just do it once," said Noel. "If you take him back, it's going to happen all over again."

Honey sniffled. "Do you think so?"

"I know so," said Noel sadly. "I know men. I'm sorry, Honey. I wish I could tell you Ethan loves you and he'll be faithful to you forever. But I just can't."

Honey knew he was right. She had another go at eating her chocolate bar, then dropped it back onto her lap with a sigh. She wasn't hungry and her stomach was starting to feel tight from all the stress. Chocolate wasn't good for her butterfly anyway. It only made the nausea and abdominal pains worse.

There was a knock at the door. Noel looked irritated, but he went to answer it, leaving Honey playing with her chocolate bar. As soon as he'd gone, Honey picked up the chocolate and put it into the bin. She knew it was stupid and Noel would worry that she'd eaten it too quickly, but she'd remind him about her fast metabolism and leave it at that.

"Well, you've got a nerve coming back here!" she heard Noel say.

Honey's heart squeezed and she found herself wishing it might be Ethan. Her right hand felt instinctively for her engagement ring, but it wasn't there.

She didn't want it to be Ethan. She couldn't see Ethan.

"Well, you can't see her!" said Noel. "She's very upset because of… hey, what are you doing?"

Honey jumped to her feet and looked around in a panic, wondering where she could hide, but it was too late.

Lily had entered the room.


	35. Chapter 35

_I was supposed to update Made in Heaven, but I got confused and wrote this instead. Sorry. (The bit at the end of the chapter about what Cal would do in Ethan's situation is inspired by the current episodes, but the other similarities are coincidental.)_

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. I'm sure Lily is hoping to explain things to Honey - but Honey might not be in the mood to listen!

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , you're right, the ring was very important to Ethan and he'd be even more devastated if he knew he'd lost the ring as well as Honey! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think Ethan might care about the ring as it was his mum's, but he probably would rather have Honey back than the ring. If he can forgive her for losing it... thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I'm sure Honey would be glad to know Ethan wasn't cheating on her, but then she'd feel even worse about the ring! Honey is going to be upset no matter what happens.

* * *

The anger boiled up inside Honey, stronger than ever before. This woman had such a nerve coming to see her after what she'd done. Did she really think there was any way in which she could make it better?

"What do you want?" asked Honey rudely. After all, it wasn't as though Lily was going to speak politely to her.

 _And to think I was going to make her my bridesmaid!_

Then she remembered she had no longer had any need of a bridesmaid of any description and tears welled in her eyes.

Noel barged into the room and caught Lily by the shoulders. "You are leaving right now. You're not welcome here and you never will be. I'm asking you politely to leave and if you don't leave, I'm going to call the police."

Lily had tensed and gasped as he grabbed her, but she kept her eyes fixed on Honey. "Please let go of me, Noel. Honey, I'm so sorry. There has been a terrible misunderstanding."

Honey seized upon her words with hope. Would Lily really have said that if there was no misunderstanding? If she and Ethan were seeing each other behind Honey's back, wouldn't they be glad Honey was finally out of the picture?

"Don't listen to her, Honey," said Noel. "She'll say anything."

He was right. If Lily was Ethan's other girlfriend, she would say anything to throw Honey off the scent.

"Ethan was very tired today," began Lily.

"What: are you saying it's my fault?" burst out Honey.

Noel's hands tightened on Lily's shoulders. "You'd better not be saying it was my daughter's fault. You're lucky you're not a man or you'd have got the same treatment as Ethan."

"There's no reason to be sexist," said Lily severely. "If you want to punch me, you can punch me. If not, take your hands off me now."

Noel hesitated and removed his hands from Lily's shoulders.

"Thank you," said Lily dismissively, and turned back to Honey. "Of course it's not your fault Ethan's tired. Ethan's job is a very tiring one and he's studying to be a consultant as well. We all get tired sometimes and when it happens, the best thing we can do is take a day off work and catch up."

"But isn't taking the day off going to make you fall further behind?" said Honey, confused.

"No. It will make you more alert," said Lily shortly. "And consequently more able to help people. Ethan was tired and I understand Cal had been encouraging him to go home all morning. When I saw him and advised him to go home, he finally gave in."

"But you took him home!" wailed Honey. "And you slept with him!"

Lily frowned. "Certainly not. Ethan is engaged to you. I would never sleep with my friend's fiancé and Ethan wouldn't want me to because he loves you and has no interest in anyone else. I took Ethan home because he was tired. I tried to convey to Ethan that he needed to go to bed and sleep, but he was unwilling to do this. When your father phoned me, I told him that I was attempting to persuade Ethan to go to bed. Unfortunately, I did not choose my words as carefully as I might have done."

Honey stared at her, trying to work out if she was telling the truth. If Ethan was too tired to work, he probably should be in bed, but Honey couldn't imagine Ethan being too tired to do his job.

"Honey, I promise you. This is the truth," said Lily. "Now, please come with me and we'll go and tell Ethan everything is all right and the wedding is back on."

"But how can I be sure you're telling the truth?" said Honey uncertainly.

"Good question," said Noel.

"You know I'm telling the truth because I'm here," said Lily. "If I wanted Ethan and I'd succeeded in sleeping with him today, I would be with him now. I would not be here encouraging you to o and see Ethan and tell him you love him."

Honey was forced to acknowledge the truth of this.

"I hope you can believe me, Honey," said Lily softly. "Ethan is very unhappy and I don't want to lose either of you as friends."

"I believe you," said Honey at last.

Lily took her hand. "Honey, I'm sure everybody will be…" She stopped and frowned. She lifted Honey's hand closer to her face. "You're not wearing your engagement ring."

Honey felt ten times worse. "I... lost it," she said. "But please don't tell Ethan."

Lily frowned. "You lost it? How could you lose it? Do you mean you took it off and put it down somewhere?"

Honey's eyes filled with tears. "I threw it down a drain!"

"You did what?" exploded Lily. "Honey, that was Ethan's mother's ring. I can understand why you weren't very happy with him, but you must know how much Ethan loved his mother."

"I know," wailed Honey.

Behind Lily, Noel was shaking his head. "Honey, that really wasn't a good move."

"You don't have to tell me that, Dad!"

Noel sighed and went to put his arms around her. "Maybe we could find one just like it. I don't know how I'm going to afford it, but we'll think of something."

"Or we could try to get it back," said Lily.

* * *

Cal carried the tray into Ethan's room and put it on Ethan's lap. "There you are."

Ethan looked at the bread rolls and salad without enthusiasm. He'd seen far less appetising meals prepared by Cal, but he really wasn't hungry.

"You've got to eat, Nibbles," said Cal. He laughed. "You've got to nibble, Nibbles."

Ethan thought about tipping the tray up and pouring the contents of the meal all over Cal. He began to regret rejecting Cal's offer to make soup in favour of something cold. It would be quite satisfying to pour soup all over Cal.

No. Of course it wouldn't. The only thing that would make Ethan happy now was Honey loving him again.

"Why did it have to be like this?" he said, tears starting in his eyes.

Cal looked at the plate in confusion. "How did you want it? Did you want me to arrange it into a smiley face like I did when you were five?"

"No, not the food!" said Ethan impatiently. "It's like our life was supposed to be going a certain way and it was going to be good, but then someone came along and changed it."

Cal squeezed onto the bed beside Ethan. "How was your life supposed to be going?"

"Honey and I were going to have a baby," said Ethan, trying to blink his tears away. "We were so happy."

"You were hardly happy," said Cal. "To start off with, you thought Honey was cheating on you. Then you thought she was losing the baby. Then you found out Honey was ill. You didn't have much time to be happy."

"Oh, shut up, Caleb!" said Ethan with uncharacteristic rudeness. "We had enough time to know we were going to be happy."

Cal rubbed his arm soothingly. "Okay, Nibbles. You were happy."

"There's no need to be sarcastic!"

"When was I sarcastic?" said Cal, looking confused. "I was agreeing with you! I know I don't do it often, but you should know agreement when you see it. You said you were happy and you'd know better than me so I accept that. Okay?"

"Okay," said Ethan. He really was too tired to argue and he had other things to worry about. "We were happy and we were looking forward to our future. Together. With our baby. But instead, Honey's really ill and I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about her, and now I can't work because I didn't sleep, and it looks like the medication isn't working so we won't be able to have a baby, and now Honey thinks I've been cheating on her, and everything's just a mess, Cal!" He tore his glasses from his face and dropped them onto the bed, burying his face in his hands, his elbows knocking the tray.

Cal took the tray away from Ethan and put his arms around him. "You're just tired, Nibbles. Completely exhausted." He pushed Ethan's head into his shoulder. "You're so tired, you're actually letting me hug you!"

Ethan felt his tears soaking into Cal's shirt, though he did manage to stop himself from sobbing, so perhaps Cal wouldn't realise.

"It's going to be okay," said Cal. "You and Honey are going to get through this. I'm sure Lily will explain everything to Honey. I know it's tough for you both, but you've got me and Lily looking out for you."

"But if Honey wants me back, I'll have to tell her why we can't try for a baby!" said Ethan.

"Yeah... but at least you'll have her back," said Cal. "Isn't that the important thing?"

"But how _can_ I tell her?"

"Straight out and as soon as possible," said Cal. "There's never a good time to deliver news like that, but the longer you leave it, the worse it's going to get – for you and for Honey."

"So, if you were in my position; if you had to give someone you cared about bad news about their health, you'd just tell them straight away?" said Ethan. "Even if they were upset already?"

"Of course I would," said Cal. "I'm not saying it would be easy, but it's the only thing you can do."

Ethan wasn't convinced. He thought it would be far more like Cal to pretend it wasn't happening and try to carry on as normal.

But it wasn't what Cal would do that mattered. Ethan was the one in the situation. He was the one who had to decide whether to break Honey's heart now or wait in the hope that it wouldn't be necessary.


	36. Chapter 36

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review - I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter. Ethan does care about Honey and I really hope this one is much more deserving of him than the 'real' one!

 **ETWentHome** , Ethan won't be happy about the ring at all and he's quite upset to start with! I thought Lily would be a good person to make Honey listen because who would dare not listen to Lily? Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , Honey definitely doesn't deserve to have her heart broken - and I'm sure Ethan would only break her heart accidentally, if there was some misunderstanding. Unfortunately, Honey is good at misunderstandings! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , that's the problem with stories. Once one problem is solved you need another one quickly or the story will die! I'm actually really against hitting people so I have no idea why it's happening all over my stories! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey wasn't sure if she was feeling faint because of her butterfly or because she was scared to death. Noel and Lily were kneeling in front of the drain. Noel was shining a torch into it and Lily was showing no regard whatsoever for her smart registrator clothes.

"I can't see it," said Lily.

"I can see a condom," said Noel.

"I don't think that's likely to be a ring in disguise," said Lily.

Honey pressed her hand against the door frame and hoped it would be enough to keep her upright. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt. Ethan loved his mum so much and he would be devastated to lose the ring.

Honey felt her legs wobbling and quickly sat down on the step.

"Maybe I can stick my hand down," said Noel.

Honey could tell from his voice that it was the last thing he wanted, but it showed how much he cared for her that he was willing to try.

"No: my hand's too big." Noel didn't quite manage to hide his relief. "You try, Lily. You've got smaller hands than me and you must be used to sticking your hands into disgusting places."

"Only with gloves on!" said Lily quickly. "Unfortunately, I don't have any gloves with me."

"Maybe we could get a stick or something," said Noel. "Have you got one of those stick-things for picking up litter?"

"No, but that is a good idea," said Lily. She stood up and turned towards Honey. She started to walk towards her, but then she stopped suddenly, frowning.

"What's up?" said Noel.

Lily didn't answer. She walked back to the door of the flat and crouched beside Honey. "Are you okay?"

"Just a bit dizzy," said Honey.

She was expecting Lily to advise her to go back into the flat and lie down, but to her surprise, Lily turned away from Honey, brushing her hair behind her ear and fiddling with her earring.

"Does it hurt?" said Honey sympathetically. "Maybe you've got an infection."

Lily ignored this. When she turned back to Honey, the earring was in her hand. "Honey, please take this earring and throw it as far as you can."

"What?" said Honey. "What do you want me to do that for?"

Lily took Honey's hand and opened it, placing the earring in Honey's palm. "Please just do as I say. No, wait!" She raised her voice. "Noel, we are performing a little experiment. Please sit in front of the drain."

"What?" said Noel, looking even more confused than Honey, but he sat down and turned to face Lily and Honey.

Lily stood up and offered Honey her hand. "Stand up, Honey." She helped Honey to her feet. "Now, throw the earring at your dad."

"No!" gasped Honey. "I might impregnate him!"

"I think you mean 'impale', but I don't believe you will," said Lily. "Now, please throw the earring as hard as you can."

Honey stared at Lily, wondering if she'd gone mad. Perhaps all the doctors were mad. Maybe that was what working in the ED did for you. She lifted her arm obediently.

"Wait," said Lily. "Did you throw the ring overarm or underarm?"

"What?" said Honey, but she understood when Lily demonstrated. "Oh, right. Overarm. Yeah. Do you want me to throw it now?"

Lily nodded. Honey lifted the earring above shoulder height and threw it hard. It travelled about halfway down the path and disappeared into a bush.

"There!" said Lily triumphantly. "I thought the drain was too far away for you to have thrown the ring into it – particularly considering your current physical weakness. I cannot be sure, of course, but it seems likely that your engagement ring is in or near that bush."

Honey gasped, staring at Lily in hope. "Really? Do you think so?"

"It seems likely," said Lily again.

Honey threw her arms around Lily, hugging her tightly. "Thanks, Lily. Thank you. You've saved my life!"

"Hardly," said Lily. "Though I will of course be very happy to do so if required. Now, I suggest you go and look for the ring."

* * *

Ethan felt tears filling his eyes again and squeezed them shut, but the tears got out anyway. Ethan wiped them away. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Cal hugged him again. "You're just exhausted and you need to sleep. I know you want to support Honey and that's exactly what you should be doing, but you can't be there 24/7. You need to sleep and so does she. It's not going to help either of you if you spend the whole night chatting instead of resting."

Ethan shook his head. "I didn't spend the night chatting to Honey."

"Then why weren't you asleep?" said Cal, confused.

"Because I was thinking about her!" said Ethan, tears pooling in his eyes again. "I was worried about her. Worried about what I was going to say to her. Worried about what might happen." He tried to fight back a sob, but it burst out of him anyway. "Worried she might need me and I wouldn't be awake to hear the phone!"

He couldn't fight his emotions anymore. He put his head back on Cal's chest and cried, feeling worse with every tear because he knew this shouldn't be happening. Honey was the one who was suffering. Ethan's job was taking care of people who were ill. He should be able to handle this.

Cal held him tightly. "Nibbles. Hey. It's okay. I'm sure you'd hear the phone. But you do need to sleep, you know. If you want to give Honey the best support you can, you need to look after yourself."

"No. I've got to look after Honey," wept Ethan. "Except I can't because she doesn't love me anymore."

"Of course she does!" said Cal. "That's why she's so upset: because she loves you! But forget Honey for a minute. It's not just Honey who's affected by this. I'm not saying it's as bad for you as it is for Honey, but it's horrible seeing someone you love go through something like this. Don't underestimate what you're going through."

"I looked after Mum on my own and I coped!" cried Ethan.

He felt Cal flinch. "I know. You were amazing. And I wasn't. But this is a bit different. You weren't working full-time all the way through Mum's illness and then she obviously went into the nursing home – and you were never in a situation where you knew something that Mum didn't. At least, I don't think so. I don't know because... I wasn't there!" Cal's voice caught, but after a moment or two, it was calm again. "But I'm here for you this time, Ethan. I don't know if I'll be able to do anything, but I promise you I'm going to try."

* * *

Noel helped Honey out of the car and held her hand as they made their way across the car park. Honey was feeling dizzy and faint and she really hoped the lift was working.

"Are you sure you don't have to be back at work?" she asked Lily. "I mean, not that I don't want you here. I do. I think you're amazing and I love you to pieces. I just don't want you to get in any trouble."

Lily looked a bit surprised, but she smiled. "My job is to help unwell people to feel better. You are unwell. Ethan is injured and suffering from fatigue. I think you will both feel much better once you've talked. Therefore, I am doing my job - and I'm very happy to do it."

Noel made a scared face. "I don't think I want to be anywhere near when you explain your reasoning to Mrs Beauchamp!"

Lily's smile became wry. "I'm hoping that won't be necessary. But perhaps I won't need to stay here for very long."

To Honey's relief, the lift was working. Soon, they were standing outside Cal and Ethan's flat. Honey was holding Noel's hand again and not just for physical support. "I hope he'll forgive me!"

"Just don't mention the drain," said Noel.

Honey looked at the ring, which looked the same as ever to her, but Ethan might know it better than she did. "No, I won't mention it, but he still might not forgive me!"

"I am certain he will, but you will never know unless you see him," said Lily. Firmly, she knocked on the door.

There was no answer. Lily tried again.

Finally, Cal opened the door. He looked surprised to see Lily, then he reached out and grabbed Honey's hand. "Honey, I'm so glad you're here."

"Are you?" said Honey doubtfully. "Is Ethan okay?"

"Honey?" Ethan was running towards them. He didn't have his glasses on and his eyes were red and swollen. "Honey, I'm so sorry. Please say you forgive me."

Cal shook his head. "Ethan. You haven't done anything that needs forgiveness. Remember?"

"Oh, right," said Ethan shakily. "Then please say Lily's explained everything and you know I love you and I'd do anything rather than hurt you?"

"Yeah, she's explained everything and I love you too," said Honey.

Ethan started to cry. "Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry." He turned away, frantically brushing at his tears as his shoulders shook.

Honey stared at him. "Are you crying because you're happy?"

"He's just tired," said Cal. "It's been a difficult few weeks for him."

"It's been a difficult few weeks for _him?"_ said Honey. "I'm the one who's got a hyperactive thyroid, not Ethan!"

Cal sighed. "Okay, Honey. Nobody's saying it hasn't been difficult for you. We know it has. Ethan, can you try to stop crying for five minutes? I think we need to talk about a few things."


	37. Chapter 37

**ETWentHome** , I think Lily is probably even more pleased than you that she had the idea about throwing the earring! Now we just need Cal to be tactful when he speaks to Honey. Oh dear. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I hope this Honey is nicer than the 'real' one, but she does still have her moments. Now Cal has to explain to Honey how selfish she is. He probably speaks from experience!

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It would have been terrible if Honey hadn't found Matilda's ring!

* * *

Honey was a bit worried when Lily said she needed to get back to work, but Lily promised her she'd be fine. "Cal just needs to explain a couple of things. There's no need to worry, but you can always phone me if you need me."

"Thanks, Lily." Honey gave her a hug. Lily's eyes widened in surprise, but she hugged Honey back. When they let go, Honey caught Lily's hands. "You've been amazing. Seriously. And if you ever want a free manicure, come to me, okay?"

"Okay," said Lily, looking rather worriedly at her nails. "Thank you, Honey. I'll… I'll keep it in mind. If all of you try to stay calm, I'm sure you can work this out."

They said goodbye to Lily, then Cal got Ethan to sit beside Honey on the sofa. There was a bit of a gap between them, which Honey thought was probably Ethan's idea. She just wanted to cuddle up to him and listen to him telling her everything was going to be okay.

Ethan, however, didn't look as though anything was okay. He was still a bit teary and he kept dabbing his nose on a tissue Cal had given him.

"Ethan, don't cry," said Honey. "It'll be okay. You can have a nap when we've gone if you're tired. Or we could have a nap together. That would be fun! Just like the old days."

Ethan just smiled a bit sadly, blinked away more tears and wiped his nose again.

"Just sniff it back up or blow it out if you want," said Honey, who didn't see the point in not being graphic when she was with doctors, who were always messing around with bodily fluids. "I don't mind."

"I can't," said Ethan. "I, um, I had a nosebleed recently so I have to be careful."

"Yeah…" said Noel, looking awkward. "Sorry about that."

"It's quite all right," said Ethan. "I don't think hitting people is a very good idea as a rule-"

Cal snorted, but Honey had no idea why. Unless he was suggesting that Ethan had hit him, which Honey refused to believe.

"-but if you were right about what I'd done, I would have deserved it," said Ethan.

"Okay." Cal seemed to think it was about time they got around to having this discussion thing. "Firstly, Noel, don't touch my brother again."

"Caleb!" said Ethan, looking embarrassed.

"Yeah, _Caleb_! It's bad enough having my dad pretending to be one of his action man toys without you getting in on the act," said Honey. "If Ethan finds it half as embarrassing as I do, he's probably dying right now!"

Noel looked shocked. "Honey, I was trying to protect you! I just wanted to be a good dad."

"You are!" said Honey fondly. "You're the most amazing dad ever. But seriously. No more punching. Or threatening to punch. It is probably a bit illegal if you think about it and no offence, but I reckon you'd be a bit useless in a fight. I bet even a girl could take you."

"I wish a girl would take me," said Noel. "I feel like I haven't been near a girl since about nine months before you were born."

"What about those prostitutes I set you and Mac up with at Zoe's wedding?" said Honey.

Noel gave her a look that was a lot less loving than usual. "The ones Ethan paid for?"

Cal turned to Ethan in shock. " _You_ paid for prostitutes at Zoe's wedding? I wish I'd been there."

"You can pay for your own anytime as long as you don't bring them back here," said Ethan, but his voice was small and shaky and Honey was sure it wasn't just that Ethan didn't appreciate the joke.

"Ethan, what's wrong?" she asked. "Hyperactive thyroid isn't catching, is it?"

All at once, Cal became serious. "No, Honey. An overactive thyroid isn't catching. But that's kind of what I want to talk to you about."

Honey gave Ethan a worried look, but said nothing.

"The thing is, Honey, what you're going through right now is very difficult for you," said Cal. "We all understand that. It's affecting you physically and emotionally. So sometimes you're going to get upset about things you wouldn't normally get upset over. You're not going to be able to do all the things you used to be able to do. Even when you can do something, it's often going to be more difficult."

Honey wondered what he was getting at. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Cal nodded. "But the thing is, Honey, it's affecting other people as well. I'm not saying they're suffering as much as you are because that's not true. But don't you think anyone who's suffering needs support? If you had two friends, one who was slightly upset and one who was very upset, would you ignore the slightly upset one or try to comfort them both?"

"I'd comfort them both," said Honey at once. "But my butterfly isn't affecting anyone else, is it?"

"Not directly, no," said Cal. "But it's very upsetting for Ethan, seeing you suffer so much and being powerless to help you. Ethan's a doctor so he's used to making people feel better. It upsets him very much that he can't help you."

Honey reached across and put her hand on Ethan's knee. "Don't be upset, Ethan. It's not your fault you can't make me feel better. You're not an entomologist, are you?"

"No, I'm not," agreed Ethan with a shaky laugh.

"So it's okay," said Honey. "I know you can't make me better and I don't expect you to. So don't cry any more: okay?"

Ethan put his hand over hers. "I'll try," he whispered.

"So, we're all sorted?" said Honey, smiling brightly at her family – because they were all her family now. Just over a year ago, she hadn't heard of any of them except Noel, but now she had a dad, a fiancé and an almost-brother-in-law.

"Um… not quite," said Cal. "Part of the reason why Ethan can't stop crying today is because he's worried about you, but he's also exhausted. He didn't get any sleep last night. He thought you might phone or text him and he was worried that if he fell asleep, he might miss your text or call."

"But that's not Honey's fault," Ethan put in quickly.

"No, of course it's not," said Cal, with a smile for Honey. "But it's important for Ethan to take care of himself and he really needs to sleep tonight. He can't do his job – or support his fiancée - unless he keeps himself healthy and that means he needs to sleep."

Honey thought about this and nodded. "Okay. I do want Ethan to stay healthy."

"But I still want you to tell me if there's something wrong!" said Ethan. "So I can comfort you."

"Yeah, but you can't do it all on your own, can you?" said Cal. "Honey needs a support _network_ , not just one person – and that means supporting each other as well as supporting you. That's where me and Noel come in."

Honey thought about this. "Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. But I just get so upset sometimes and I want Ethan."

Cal nodded. "Of course you do. That's understandable. But when you do get upset, it causes more stress for Ethan and it's actually not good for you either. If you're upset, it's going to make your symptoms worse. I think if we can help you to control your emotions, that might help you to feel better."

"But it's good to let it out, isn't it?" said Honey.

Cal smiled. "Sometimes. In moderation. And I'm certainly not saying you should bottle it all up because that's what I try to do and trust me: it doesn't work! But controlling your emotions isn't about hiding them. It's about dealing with them. We can help you with that. Even things like focusing on your breathing can help a lot."

"Or mindfulness," offered Ethan. "You might like that, Honey. It's a bit like meditation. You focus on the sounds and the smells around you and that can make you feel more grounded."

"Maybe you and Honey should both try it," said Cal.

Ethan yawned. "Sorry, Cal. I'm not bored. Just tired. I think that sounds like a good idea."

"That proves you're asleep, Nibbles, because you never say my ideas are good when you're listening!" Cal leaned forward and patted Ethan's knee. "It's okay. I'm just teasing you. But if we all work together, we can support both of you – and Noel too. It sounds like you're coping really well, Noel, but working as a receptionist in an emergency department, you probably know more than enough about health to be worried by Honey's symptoms, but not enough to do very much about them."

Noel looked ready to deny this, but finally, he admitted it. "Yeah, I suppose. But I don't really think of it that way. I do really love being with Honey. Even when she's feeling really awful, we have a laugh sometimes, don't we?"

Honey nodded eagerly. "Yeah, we do. Or sometimes we just put some music on. My dad chooses a song he thinks might help and it does." A movement caught her attention and she turned to see Ethan taking off his glasses and dabbing his eyes. "Ethan, are you crying again?" She put her arms around him. "It's okay. Don't worry. We're going to sort this. Together."

"No, I'm sorry: I'm just really tired," confessed Ethan. "It's making my eyes water."

"You can sleep for two hours," said Cal sternly. "No longer. You don't want to be awake all of tonight because you napped in the middle of the day. Honey, if you need Ethan in the next two hours, you contact me." His expression softened. "I know I'm not Ethan, but you're my baby sister and I'm going to do everything I can for you: okay?"

"Thank you," whispered Honey.

Ethan wiped his eyes again. "Okay, this time I'm getting emotional."

"Bed!" said Cal.

"Yes. I think that's probably a good idea." Yawning, Ethan kissed Honey goodbye. He was so tired, he accidentally cuddled Cal and very nearly did the same to Noel, but then decided to make it a handshake instead.

"We're going to get through this together," mumbled Ethan sleepily.

Honey really hoped that this time, he was right.


	38. Chapter 38

**Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you liked Noel's lecture - I put that in for you! He's lucky Ethan stood there (or lay there) and took it because Noel isn't the best in a fight and Ethan has a mean right uppercut... doesn't he, Cal? I don't know if I'd like Cal to be my big brother... he's too hot! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , Ethan seems to need sleep everywhere at the moment! On TV as well as in half my stories, which aren't even all set in the same time period. It's like the words 'Ethan' and 'bed' are inextricably linked in my mind... It's nice writing about Cal as a responsible big brother for a change. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey looked at her medication with dislike. She didn't know which she disliked more out of the carbimazole and the propranolol. Probably the propranolol. At least the carbimazole was probably doing something.

She thought the side effects weren't as bad as they had been in earlier. About an hour or so before she was due to take her next lot of medication, she usually did feel a bit better.

But as soon as she took her next lot of medication, she'd feel terrible again and that wasn't what she wanted when she had the engagement party tomorrow.

Honey felt tears rising and automatically reached for her phone to call Ethan, but then she remembered. She shouldn't be bothering him over the little things. This probably counted as a little thing. She felt like crying, but it didn't mean she would. Cal had said it was possible to control her emotions, so maybe she could control this one.

She stood for a moment, fighting back tears, and didn't know if she was relieved or not when they didn't fall. She was usually happy not to cry. Anyone who wore as much make-up as Honey found crying a particular inconvenience.

But it also meant she couldn't phone Ethan.

So her problem was a little thing. Not bothering Ethan about.

Honey slapped the tablet boxes down on the table and went to pour herself a glass of water. She drank about half of it to keep her fluids up (whatever that was supposed to mean) and then opened the purple box containing the propranolol. It was such a pretty colour. But Deadly Nightshade was purple, wasn't it? And that was probably even worse for you than propranolol.

Honey closed her eyes. The tears were returning. She didn't want to spend her engagement party throwing up. Of course, all the guests worked in a hospital so they were used to it, but it still wasn't very nice for them and it would be even worse for Honey. She wouldn't necessarily actually be sick at the party. She might even feel more or less okay: just slightly queasy; just a little bit tired.

But that would only be if she was lucky - and she couldn't bank on luck.

It was mostly the tablets, of course. Honey knew that. It had been bad before she'd started taking them, but she'd been able to work then. It was only really since the tablets that Honey hadn't been able to work at all.

Honey opened the sachets and tipped them into her palm. Even the sight of them made her angry. Everyone had told her she needed them and it was important that she took them, but she'd failed to take them once before and it hadn't killed her. She had ended up needing hospital treatment, but it would be easy enough to get treatment again if she needed. The party would be full of doctors.

And they all wanted her and Ethan to enjoy their engagement party. She knew they would.

This was for Ethan as well as for her.

Honey listened for a moment to make sure her dad was still watching TV, opened the pedal bin as quietly as she could and dropped the propranolol tablets inside. Her carbimazole tablets followed. She carefully picked an old crisp packet from the bin and put it over where the tablets had fallen.

There. It would be all right now. Nobody would have any idea.

* * *

Honey was feeling so much better the next day, especially her morning dose of tablets had ended up in the bin. The difference was amazing. She felt so good, she decided to go to the hospital in person. There was something very important she had to do. She would have done it on the phone if she'd had to, but it would be much friendlier to do it in person and she wanted them all to know before the party.

At ten o'clock, she arrived at the hospital and walked up to the desk.

Noel heard her coming and looked up, a welcoming smile on his face that disappeared when he saw Honey. "Are you okay? Has something happened? Do you need me to call a doctor?"

"No… well, kind of… but no," said Honey. "I'd just like to speak to Lily about something."

"You'll be seeing her at the party," said Noel. Honey knew this was at least partly code for: 'There's no way I'm disturbing Dr Chao when she's working: I want to stay alive, thank you very much!'.

"I know, but…" Honey leaned forward and whispered into his ear. Noel's face immediately lit up.

"I think she's in cubicles at the moment. I don't think we should really disturb her, but why don't you go and sit in the staff room? If I see her, I'll let her know you're here, but if not, I'm sure even Dr Chao takes breaks."

Honey gave him a hug and went through to the staff room. It was empty, so she sat down to wait.

A few minutes later, she heard voices, and Robyn and Louise entered the room, involved in a very important discussion.

"No, I think Cal's definitely the best-looking doctor in the department," said Robyn. "I know he's arrogant, but that doesn't change the fact his features are all in the right place."

"But I think attractiveness is sometimes all about the expression," argued Louise. "Cal might be okay if he looked modest, but that smug look he gets on his face just annoys me. I think Ethan is miles better-looking. At least he smiles sometimes."

"Cal smiles!" objected Robyn. "Cal's always smiling!"

"Yeah, but he never smiles because he's happy to see you," said Louise. "He smiles because he's happy for you that you've seen him."

As they entered the staff room, Robyn was giving Louise a knowing look. "But _you're_ the one who bought that picture of his bum at the auction."

"Yeah, but I didn't buy that for his face, did I?" said Louise. "As far as the face goes, it's Ethan for me. But if it comes to the shape of the bum, that's a whole different- oh, hi, Honey."

Honey smiled. "Exactly the people I'm looking for. Well, you two and Lily."

Louise wrinkled her nose. "Why would you want to see Lily?"

Robyn gave her a sharp nudge. "Don't be nosy, Louise! I'm far more interested in what Honey wants to ask us." She smiled at Honey and sat beside her on the sofa.

"Well, you know me and Ethan are getting married?" said Honey.

Just the thought of it made her feel happy. She made a mental note to think about it next time she felt sad.

"How could we forget?" said Louise.

Robyn gave Honey a hug. "I can't wait! And I'm so excited about the engagement party."

"I was wondering if you two wanted to be my bridesmaids," said Honey.

Robyn squealed loudly and gave Honey a hug. "I'd love to! Thank you, sweetheart."

Louise was more restrained, but she was smiling. "Thanks, Honey. That would be great."

Honey hugged both of them. "I'm so happy! And you know what you were discussing just now? I definitely think Ethan is the best-looking. And he's got the best bum too."

"Outvoted!" Louise pointed at Robyn in triumph. "Ethan has officially been voted the hottest doctor in the ED. And as you were on the losing side, Robyn, you should be the one to tell him."

Robyn went a bit pink and shook her head. "No way. That should be Honey's job. He'd die of embarrassment if either of us told him."

"Yeah, he definitely would," said Honey, who was determined to spare Ethan any embarrassment if she possibly could. Ethan did look completely adorable when he was embarrassed, but being in the privileged position of Ethan's fiancée, she'd come to the conclusion that she was the only person who was allowed to embarrass him.

"You know, I always thought Ethan was a virgin," said Louise.

It was Honey who was close to dying of embarrassment now. "Well, he's not, Louise! He really, really isn't."


	39. Chapter 39

**ETWentHome** , I can understand why Honey wants to do whatever it takes to feel better, but she shouldn't forget what happened last time! I keep changing my mind over who's the best-looking, but today, I think it's Ethan, just. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. It is a difficult choice, isn't it? So I'll make it easier. Cal, Ethan or Lofty? Honey has done something that she know will make her feel better and now she's happy. But you could say the same about self-harm or bulimia.

* * *

Lily arrived in the staff room not long after Robyn and Louise had left, with the latter still trying to convince the former to break the good news to Ethan that he'd been voted the Hospital Hottie, as Robyn called it. Louise preferred to call him Dr Dish, which had provoked another friendly argument between the two nurses.

"Honey. Robyn and Louise said you wished to see me," said Lily. "Are you all right?"

"I'm good, thanks," said Honey.

Lily looked surprised. "Really? That's good."

"Well, not _good_ good," said Honey quickly. "But, um, it's four hours since I, um, took my medication so I'm starting to feel better now. But soon I'll have to, um, take them again and then… ugh." It was lucky she was such a good actress really. She was sure she'd be really famous by now if she hadn't failed to get into drama school. She hadn't even got a place on a musical theatre course and she was a brilliant dancer.

"Perhaps the side effects will go soon," said Lily, quite sympathetically for her.

Honey sighed. "They better had do. I could be taking these things for the rest of my life. Unless they don't work, of course. And God knows what they'll have to do to me then."

Lily looked at her for a moment. "Has your endocrinologist not explained what will happen to you if the medication is ineffective?"

"I don't know," said Honey. "I don't understand half of what she says most of the time. I hate doctors sometimes."

"Thank you very much," said Lily, but she didn't sound as offended as she might have done.

"Oh God, Lily, I don't mean you!" exclaimed Honey. "You've been great. If you were my entomologist, I'm sure I'd be fine."

"Endocrinologist," said Lily.

"Yeah, that's what I said." Honey looked at Lily curiously. "So, what is going to happen to me then? If the tablets don't work?"

"Well, there are a couple of possibilities," said Lily. "If the thyroid can't be controlled, it will have to be removed – either completely or partially. There are a couple of ways this can be done."

Honey frowned. "Hang on: doesn't my butterfly do all kinds of important stuff?"

"Yes, but you can manage without it," said Lily.

"I wish they would take it out then," said Honey. "Anything's better than this stupid medication." _Anything… including not taking it all._ "Lily, I wanted to ask you-"

"If you wanted, I could explain-" began Lily.

Honey could guess what she was going to say. She was going to offer to explain thyroid stuff and while she would have been grateful for that at any other time, it was slightly awkward considering what she'd done. If Lily carried on talking, Honey might have to end up lying to her and she didn't want that.

"I'm sorry," said Lily. "What did you want to say to me, Honey?"

Honey hesitated. "I... I was wondering if you'd like to be my... my bridesmaid," said Honey shyly.

Lily stared at her. She didn't look horrified exactly, but she didn't look ecstatic either. She just looked completely stunned. "Me?"

"Yeah, you!" said Honey.

"Why?" said Lily, looking genuinely confused.

"Because I like you and you're my friend," said Honey, feeling like she was five years old and in the school playground again. "Maybe I've had more laughs with Robyn and Louise and some of the others, but you've been there for me. I was going to ask you even before you found my ring for me - well, apart from the time when I thought you were sleeping with Ethan, obviously, but if you'd done that, the wedding would have been off anyway. But apart from that, I've wanted you to be my bridesmaid nearly all the time."

Lily still looked shocked, but she was smiling now. "Thank you, Honey. Thank you very much. I would be very happy to be your bridesmaid. I've… I've never been asked to be a bridesmaid before."

"I've been a bridesmaid three times," said Honey, "and by the second wedding, I was already getting the 'always the bridesmaid, never the bride' jokes. Once is probably just the right number."

"What… what would I have to do?" said Lily. She looked a bit nervous, but her eyes were shining.

Honey smiled happily. "Well, you'll have to follow me up the aisle, carrying my train. Robyn and Louise are going to be my bridesmaids too so they'll help you. But you'll also be my chief bridesmaid, so you'll have to hold my bouquet when me and Ethan are… exchanging our vows… Oh God…" Honey blinked her watery eyes.

"I imagine it is emotional, getting married," said Lily wistfully.

"Yeah, it is, but it might be partly my hyperactive thyroid," said Honey.

" _Over_ active thyroid," said Lily, "or hyperthyroidism. 'Hyperactive' is something different."

Honey giggled. "Yeah, sorry. I'm not very good with words. You know, the first time someone said 'thyroid' to me, I thought it was something to do with my thighs. I was quite worried. I thought they might be saying they were big or something. Did you ever think that?"

Lily shook her head and spoke seriously. "When I first learned about the thyroid, I read it in a medical book, so I could see it was spelled differently from 'thigh'."

"Yeah, I suppose it's a bit different when you're clever," said Honey.

"I don't get spellings and medical definitions wrong very often," said Lily. "If at all. But that doesn't mean I never make mistakes. I was wrong about you, Honey. I can understand now why Ethan cares about you. You have many qualities I lack. You're kind, compassionate, thoughtful, empathic…"

"Maybe, but I can still be a selfish cow when I put my mind to it," said Honey honestly.

Lily smiled slightly. "I don't believe that. But I suppose none of us are perfect."

"But you'll be the perfect chief bridesmaid," said Honey. "And oh yeah, another thing you'll have to do is organise my hen night for me, but that's not for ages."

Lily looked a bit scared. "Organise your hen night?"

Honey realised Lily probably didn't have much experience of hen nights. She didn't think she'd gone to Zoe's, but Honey's memories of that night were hazy. "Don't worry. We'll have a chat nearer the time about the kind of thing I want. I don't want strippers and all of that rubbish. I had enough of strippers when I _was_ one."

Lily's eyes looked ready to fall out of her head. "You were a stripper?"

"I was desperate for money," explained Honey awkwardly. "The barrister, I mean barista job didn't cover my rent and I'd have done anything to be near my dad."

Some understanding showed on Lily's face. "Dads are very important. Sometimes you do have to make sacrifices in order to make them happy. I'm sure Noel is glad to have you in his life. I've seen the way he looks at you." She gave a small sigh.

"But my dad doesn't know about the stripping," said Honey quickly. "Just the barrister stuff. So you won't tell him, Lily, will you?"

"Of course I won't tell him," said Lily. "I will consider this conversation confidential." She paused. "Does Ethan know?"

"Yeah: Ethan knew about it before anyone else," said Honey. "He actually came into my club and saw me dancing. I was so embarrassed, I ran offstage, but he was fine about it."

There was shock on Lily's face. "Ethan… went into a strip club?"

"Yeah, but only because Cal and Max and that lot dragged him there," said Honey. She smiled. "He was brilliant though. He got them all to leave so they never knew."

Lily opened and closed her mouth.

"Oh God: I've shocked you, haven't I?" said Honey in horror. "I don't do any of that stuff now. Not now I'm with Ethan. Even if I needed the money, I just couldn't. Because… well, he's Ethan, isn't he? I'm going to marry him. You can't go giving other guys lapdances when you're in love with someone. I just couldn't do that. Could you?"

"I… no," said Lily. "Certainly not. No. I… it's all right, Honey. I'm not shocked and I would be very proud to be your bridesmaid."

Honey threw her arms around Lily. "I'm so happy! It's going to be amazing. You are coming to the party tonight, aren't you?"

"Of course I am coming to the party," said Lily.

"Just watch out for Cal," said Honey, still hugging her.

"It is always a good idea to watch out for Cal," said Lily with feeling.

Honey nodded. "Yeah, but he's Ethan's best man and you're the chief bridesmaid. So you're obviously going to end up sleeping with him no matter what, but I'm just saying watch out for your heart, Lily. Cal only cares about hearts if there's something wrong with them."

Lily laughed. "I think I can safely promise you, Honey, that the best man will not sleep with the chief bridesmaid at this wedding."

"Shame," said Honey. "But there's always Robyn. I don't think she'd say no."


	40. Chapter 40

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. I think Robyn is definitely thrilled about being Honey's bridesmaid at the moment - whether she'll feel the same way after this chapter, I'm not so sure!

 **Tanith Panic** , I was wondering about giving Cal a bit of a romance, if only because he's gone too long without sex already! I'm already writing a story where he's with Lily, but any of the other bridesmaids would be a possibility. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey opened the door and smiled at the sight of her bridesmaids. Rita and Zoe (once Honey had convinced her she wasn't too old) had also agreed to be bridesmaids and they all looked excited as they hugged Honey and asked he what the plan was.

"I thought we'd go straight to the hall and start decorating!" said Honey.

"What? Can't we even have a cup of tea first?" said Louise.

Rita sighed. "You had one at the ED before we left. That's why we're late: because we were waiting for you."

Honey laughed. "Of course you can all have tea first. You seriously think I'd let any of us work without at least one cup of tea inside us!"

She could hardly believe how good she felt without her tablets. She didn't feel sick at all and she couldn't remember the time she'd had this much energy. She was slightly worried as she was due to take her tablets during the engagement party and she didn't want to do anything that risked making her feel worse, but she thought she could probably sort something out. As long as she disappeared for a few minutes and nobody followed her, she could always _say_ she'd taken them. She could even have a drink of water and leave the glass in the sink as proof.

After a nice drink of Honey's special energising spicy tea (with cardamom, coriander and turmeric), even Louise decided she was ready to go, and nobody but Honey seemed to want a refill.

"Then let's go!" said Honey happily. "I can't wait to start decorating."

Lily gave her a stern look. "No, Honey, you won't be doing any decorating. You mustn't tire yourself out before the party. You will be in a strictly advisory role."

"Aw, look at my chief bridesmaid watching out for me!" said Honey, giving Lily a hug that obviously surprised her.

Louise stared at her in shock. " _Lily_ 's your chief bridesmaid?"

"Yeah, she's been such a big support to me!" said Honey.

"Oh. Right. I see," said Louise. Her face looked like she'd been drinking over-string lemon tea. "Congrats, Lily."

Robyn squeezed Louise's arm sympathetically before turning to Lily. "I'm so happy for you. I think you'd be brilliant. I'm rubbish at organising things. I'm sure Louise will give you a hand if you need it, though – she's only just got back into nursing so she has got quite a lot on her plate, but she's a brilliant organiser. So are Zoe and Rita, obviously, but they'd be too busy: we all know how big and important they are!"

"Big?" said Zoe, looking slightly miffed.

"Not that kind of big," said Robyn quickly.

"You know, if anyone's big around here…" said Louise, with a meaningful look at Robyn, who looked like she might cry.

Honey was horrified. They hadn't even had the engagement party yet and already has bridesmaids were arguing. "Just you wait till I'm having Ethan's baby! Then you'll see what 'big' really means."

"But right now, the only thing big about any of us is this party," said Rita firmly. "So shall we go and start decorating the hall?"

"An excellent idea," said Lily.

Honey handed them all bags containing decorations and a few items of food. "Most of the stuff is being delivered to the hall later, but I got a couple of banners and things yesterday."

She saw Lily and Zoe both give her a worried glance, probably wondering whether Honey was overdoing it, but as they looked at her, their faces relaxed, and they both seemed satisfied she was okay.

 _I bet they have no idea it's stopping the tablets that's made me better!_ thought Honey, feeling slightly smug about knowing better than the doctors.

"That's fine: there should be plenty of room in the boot and there will be a couple of spare seats too," said Zoe, who had an estate car.

"Race you for shotgun!" said Louise, once they were outside. As Honey was ill, Robyn wasn't a runner and Lily would never involve herself in something she considered childish, she only really had Rita to worry about, but Zoe put her foot down.

"No races for shotgun in my car! I'll choose who rides shotgun."

Rita smiled at Honey. "Well, if anyone deserves to be riding shotgun, it's the bride, isn't it?"

Not even Louise dared to argue with that. Zoe's shoulders relaxed in relief and she smiled gratefully at Rita. "You're absolutely right. Honey rides shotgun."

"Oh, it's okay: you don't have to do that," said Honey, feeling slightly guilty.

"No, I think Rita's right," said Lily firmly.

Robyn nodded in agreement. "Definitely."

They all looked at Louise. "What are you looking at me for? Like I care who sits in the front.""

They put the bags into the boot and piled into the car. "I'll sit in the back row," said Rita, probably to prevent an argument.

Robyn looked concerned. "No, you'll be lonely. I'll sit with you, and Louise and Lily can go in the middle."

Rita smiled and patted her arm. "That's sweet of you, Robyn. That would be lovely, if you're sure."

"Completely!" said Robyn warmly.

Honey couldn't help wondering if the main attraction was not having to share a seat with Louise and Lily, but she decided that was one of those things it would be better not to say out loud.

"Shotgun couldn't be more comfortable than this!" declared Louise as she sank into one of the middle seats. "It's like being in bed, isn't it, Lily?"

Honey giggled. "I've never heard of an engagement party where two of the bridesmaids shared a bed! You should really all be fighting over Cal!"

"In his dreams!" said Louise and Lily simultaneously. Surprised and perhaps slightly alarmed to find each other on the same wavelength, they looked at one another for a moment, then shrugged and shared a smile.

Zoe waited till they were all settled in the car. "You'd be surprised at the trouble bridesmaids can cause," she said darkly as she drove off. "My chief bridesmaid deserted me a matter of weeks before the wedding."

"Yeah, there was a lot of deserting going on at your wedding!" said Honey, and immediately heard the sound of four stunned and terrified bridesmaids gasping in unison. Honey put her hand over her mouth. "God, sorry, Zoe. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's all right, Honey," said Zoe, without looking at her.

Robyn quickly stepped into the breach. "Yeah, so we'd better all hope Lily doesn't become a grandma in the next six months! Or we'll all have to have a fight to see who replaces her as chief bridesmaid!"

"I think there is little danger of that," said Lily. "It is medically and legally impossible for me to become a grandmother in the next six months."

Louise laughed. "But we could always make you very pregnant! Who should we fix her up with, girls? Cal, Lofty, Dylan or Max?"

Zoe flinched slightly at the final name. "Maybe Lily would prefer an older man."

"Lily does like older men!" said Louise, giving Lily a nudge. "What about that time you kissed Ash, then!"

Lily looked uncomfortable now. "I was drunk. We have all done silly things when we are drunk."

"Oh God: I hope Ethan never finds out some of the things I've done when I was drunk," said Honey. "He's so innocent, he'd die of shock." She thought for a moment. "Though he did take it very well when he found out I was a pole dancer."

Zoe stared at her. "You were a pole dancer, Honey?"

"Yeah: we all do things we shouldn't sometimes," said Honey. "You just drove through a red light."

"Sorry," said Zoe. "I was just surprised."

"I'm surprised Ethan took it well!" said Louise. "Though maybe it's the thought of all the private lapdances that did it."

Honey smiled dreamily. "Ethan's never asked me for a private lapdance. Or even a public one."

"You've got a good man there, Honey," said Rita.

Honey nodded. "Yeah, I have."

"But I'm sure there are still some good men out there for us," said Lily.

"Noel and Big Mac are both single, aren't they?" said Rita suddenly.

Zoe looked thoughtful. "They both had dates for my wedding, but I don't think that went anywhere."

"No, it didn't," said Honey. "I got a bit confused and fixed them up with prostitutes. So Ethan paid them off and they went home. So yeah: I am marrying a man who paid for two prostitutes at my mate's wedding!"

"Honestly, that family," said Louise. "Between him and Cal…"

Robyn made a sound of reproach. "Cal's not that bad! Not really."

Louise turned around to speak to her to speak to her. "Sorry, babe. I forgot you fancied Cal."

"I do not!" said Robyn.

"Just as well. You're not his type," said Louise. "And even if you were, it would only last five minutes, so what's the point?"

Rita's voice was stern. "If Cal wanted to choose a girlfriend from this car, he could do a lot worse than choose Robyn."

"Considering this car includes an engaged woman, a technically married woman, an alcoholic and an ice princess, I think I agree!" said Louise.

"Not to mention a bully," said Lily, who not only looked like a princess but sounded icy.

Louise gasped. "What? You're calling _me_ a bully?"

"Yes, I am," said Lily. "I know I cause offence sometimes, but it is not my intention. I am not very good at small talk and my priority is diagnosing and treating the injury or illness. Whether or not they like me is irrelevant. But you, Louise, seem to enjoy hurting people."

Zoe sighed. "Can you two just leave it, please? If we're all going to be bridesmaids together and give Honey the wedding she wants and deserves, it will be better if we don't kill each other."

"I brought herbal tea," said Honey, eager to help. "So we can all have some of that when we get to the hall."

"That's really considerate of you, Honey," said Robyn.

Rita spoke in a meaningful tone. "Yes, I think a lot of us could do with some."

Louise glared at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean weddings and parties are two of the most stressful things in the world," said Rita. "We might not be stressed now, but we probably will be later, and prevention is better than cure, wouldn't you say?"

Honey turned in her seat to smile at her. "Definitely!"

She wasn't completely sure what Rita meant, but it sounded clever.


	41. Chapter 41

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , I thought it would be more interesting if one of them was bitchy. Lily has her moments, but Louise was the obvious choice! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm so glad you liked the chapter, despite the hurtful comments. They all have such different personalities so I can imagining them needling each other a bit. Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to **TheWiinterSoldier** for the favourite._

* * *

When they arrived at the hall, it was locked. Honey wasn't too worried. She banged on the door and shouted, but there was no answer. "They're probably having a wee or something."

"What: all of them?" said Louise.

Zoe smiled. "If they're all women, it's quite likely they are! Come on, Louise. Admit it. You know what we're like."

Louise gave a reluctant smile. One of the best things about nursing was the female companionship. Noel had been good to work with most of the time, but he was hopeless when all you needed was a good natter in the loo.

Honey's hand was aching from knocking on the door so she used her foot instead.

"No, Honey, don't!" said Robyn, grabbing her arm.

Lily bent forward, frowning. "You have made a dent in the door."

"It's not a dent," said Zoe quickly. "It's just a muddy footprint. We can clean it off."

Robyn got out a tissue and saw to it. "There. All gone!"

Zoe patted her shoulder. "Good work, Robyn. Honey, have you got the number of the people you hired the hall from?"

Honey shook her head. "No, it wasn't me who hired it. Ethan did it."

"I might have known," said Lily. "If something has been messed up, a man is usually at fault."

Honey thought she was probably joking, but Zoe, Louise, Rita and Robyn all laughed and agreed. Honey, however, wasn't so sure. "But Ethan hardly ever messes things up and he's a man!"

"Well, I've actually had a few doubts about Ethan's masculinity – but you've seen a lot more of him than I have," said Louise.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Honey.

Zoe put her hand on Honey's shoulder. "Don't pay any attention to Louise. She likes to stir. And you're right: there are certainly worse offenders than your Ethan."

"Like his brother!" said Louise, with a sly glance at Robyn.

Robyn looked indignant on Cal's behalf, but this time she wisely kept silent, even when Louise gave her a knowing smile.

"Why not give Ethan a ring, Honey, and we'll sort this out," said Rita.

Honey never needed a second invitation to phone Ethan. She knew he was working and he might not be able to answer his phone if he was busy saving someone's life, but she must have caught him between acts of heroism because he answered straight away.

"Hey, beautiful darling Honey," said Ethan sensually.

Honey smiled, shivering slightly at the sound of his beautiful voice. _Maybe I should get electrocution lessons so I can learn to talk proper like Ethan._ "Hey, handsome hot Ethan."

Louise said nothing, but her facial expression was eloquent. Robyn burst into giggles.

"Shh, Robyn!" said Zoe, and led her further away so Ethan wouldn't hear.

"What's up?" Ethan's voice became anxious. "Are you okay? Are you feeling ill again? Where are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm at the hall with my bridesmaids, but we can't get in," said Honey. "Have you got the number for the person you booked it from?"

There was a surprised silence. "Honey," said Ethan, "I, um... I thought you booked it."

"No, you were going to," said Honey. "I think."

"Oh dear," said Ethan. "Perhaps neither of us booked it. I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's all my fault. But it's okay. We can have the party at my flat if you like."

Honey's eyes filled with tears. "But I wanted to have it here."

Robyn stopped giggling and came hurried over put her arm around Honey.

"I know, darling," said Ethan sympathetically. "But the most important thing is that we're there and all our friends are with us. The venue doesn't really matter."

"I suppose," said Honey, as her tears started to fall.

Robyn gave her a tissue, only to snatch it away at the last minute. "Sorry: that's the one I used to clean the mud off the door."

"Here: I've got one," said Rita. Honey smiled gratefully and dabbed her tears.

"Come back to the hospital and I'll give you the keys," said Ethan. "Try not to be sad, darling. I understand why you're disappointed, but we'll all have a great time. I love you, Honey."

"I love you too," said Honey. She ended the call quickly before she started sobbing.

Zoe came over and rubbed Honey's arm. "It will be okay," she said. "We'll work something out."

Honey wiped her eyes. "Ethan says we can use his flat."

"Perfect!" said Zoe. "You see: it's all going to be fine."

Robyn nodded and hugged Honey more tightly. "Yeah. We'll have a brilliant time. It's the people you're with who really matter, not the place."

"That's what Ethan said," said Honey.

"And he's right," said Rita, and squeezed Honey's arm. "Even men are right occasionally."

Honey gave a shaky smile and sniffed. "Thanks. I reckon I've got the best bridesmaids ever."

"And Ethan has the best bride ever," said Lily, sounding awkward with the colloquialism, but not ungenuine. "We will solve this problem and have the best engagement party ever."

"Yeah, you're right," said Honey determinedly as she dried her tears. "We will!"

"Um… guys," said Louise, pointing at something.

Honey looked up. Two large lorries had just parked beside them. One was a decorations company and one was a food company. She clapped her hands in delight. "Oh, it's arrived! We'd better tell them to deliver to Ethan's flat instead."

"If you need a van that size to carry the stuff, it's not going to fit in Ethan's flat," said Louise.

"No, but it's probably not all Honey's stuff," said Rita.

Honey shook her head at once. "Oh, no. I didn't order that much really. Just a few basic things I really needed."

The lorry doors opened and two people jumped out of each.

Honey hurried after the ones from the food lorry while Zoe went to speak to the decorations people. "Hi, I'm Honey. I'm the bride. Um, I'm really, really sorry, but there's been a bit of a misunderstanding. Would you be able to take this to my fiancé's flat instead?"

The man looked quite shocked. "No, we can't! We are on a schedule, you know. This is where we were asked to deliver to and this is where we're going to deliver to. If you want it delivered elsewhere, you'll have to arrange your own transport."

Honey watched in horror as they started unloading boxes, dumping them on the path outside the hall. "You can't leave that there!"

"Got to leave them somewhere, haven't we?"

Honey looked over at the other lorry, hoping that Zoe had had better luck, but the decorations people were doing exactly the same thing.

"A few things?" said Robyn a bit worriedly as the piles grew and grew.

"Maybe there's been some mistake," said Rita optimistically. She went to talk to one of the decorations people, but they assured her that everything in the lorry had been ordered by Honey Wright – though not paid for as her credit card had been declined, but they were hoping she would remedy that once they'd finished unpacking.

Zoe paced. "There must be something we can do. We can't take all this stuff to Ethan's flat."

"I have an idea," said Lily. "Honey, do you have contact details for the people you were going to hire the hall from?"

Honey shrugged. "I don't think so. That was Ethan's job. I just saw it and told him I liked it."

Lily patted her arm. "Don't worry. I'll find it online." She got out her phone, opened up the internet and scrolled busily. Within a couple of minutes, she was dialling a number and making a call. "Hello, my name is Dr Lily Chao, chief bridesmaid to Honey Wright. Honey was hoping to hire your hall for an engagement party today, but unfortunately, the bride and groom relied on each other to make the booking instead of asking me and therefore no booking was made. I don't suppose it would be available for this afternoon and evening?"

Honey waited tensely. She watched Lily's face, but it remained expressionless.

"I realise that, but perhaps it would be less of an inconvenience if I paid you 25% extra?... No, I'm afraid 50% is ridiculous, but I'm prepared to compromise on 30%... excellent. Thank you very much. Yes, I do have a debit card."

Honey watched admiringly as Lily completed the transaction, but her smile faded when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Miss Wright, I was wondering if we might collect your payment now." It was the man who'd brought the decorations.

"Oh," said Honey nervously. "Okay. Right. Well… you see… the thing is…"

Zoe stepped forward. "Would you accept a payment from me instead? Thank you. I'm Zoe Hanna."

"And I'll deal with the food people," said Rita.

Honey began to feel uncomfortable. "I can't let you do that."

Rita smiled at her. "Don't worry, sweetheart. We're your bridesmaids. It's part of our job to help out. Especially as I'll be passing on the privilege of sleeping with the best man."

Louise nudged Robyn. "Looks like the way is pretty much clear for you. Rita doesn't want him; I doubt Lily wants him; Honey's otherwise engaged; I wouldn't be seen dead with him and I think he's a little bit old for Zoe…"

"Um, I don't know what you're talking about," said Robyn unconvincingly. "Oh, I do like that lorry. Isn't it pretty?"


	42. Chapter 42

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Honey always seemed to get on well with everyone except Lily so I thought they'd all want to be there.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you like my version of Lily. She's one of my favourite characters so I like to bring out her positive characteristics when it suits the story. You inspired Robyn's interest in Cal so I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , I thought it was about time Cal had some female interest in this story - and I think he'd agree with that too! The last thing Honey needs is stress, but I don't think I'm very good at writing about things going well... thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan walked towards the hall, the stresses of work melting away at the sight that met him. Tinsel and balloons were hung around the door and a banner proclaimed that this was Honey and Ethan's engagement party.

But it wasn't the decorations that made Ethan so happy. It was the beautiful girl standing in the doorway.

He hadn't seen Honey smile like that for so long. She was practically bouncing up and down in excitement, her eyes sparkling as she held her arms out to him. "Ethan! Ethan!" she called out between smiles.

Ethan wanted her to be in his arms right now. He crossed the car park at a run, tripped over the step and fell into Honey's arms. The two collapsed in the doorway, Honey giggling and Ethan groaning slightly. When Honey kissed him, he momentarily forgot the pain, but he noticed it again as soon as they'd stopped kissing.

"Are you okay?" said Honey, the happiness on her face now replaced by worry.

Ethan sat up and rubbed his knee. "I think I might need medical attention."

"Oh no!" said Honey, dismayed, but then her smile was back. "Well, that's okay, because I have two beautiful doctors and three hot nurses waiting inside, with more expected later on. Including a very sexy senior registrar!"

"Yes, a lot of people say that about my brother," said Ethan. "Though I don't think anyone says it quite as often as he does."

Honey looked horrified. "Oh, I didn't mean him! I forgot all about him. I meant…" She stopped as she saw the smile on his face. "You tease! You're a big tease, Ethan Hardy. Come here!"

Ethan let Honey kiss him again – but 'let' was the wrong word. He didn't really have any choice in the matter.

* * *

They were still kissing when they heard Louise's voice from behind them. "Can you believe those two? He barely even got her through the door before he was all over her."

Ethan sat up went an adorable shade of red – though, to be fair, his normal colour was adorable too. "I tripped!"

"Yeah, he tripped!" said Honey. It was true, of course, but she'd have said it even if it wasn't.

"Oh, yeah? I've heard that one before," said Louise.

"I've _tried_ that one before," said Zoe.

Robyn knelt down beside them. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

"Ethan's hurt his knee, but I'm okay," said Honey, rather surprised by how true it was. The others hadn't let her do very much, but even sitting could be exhausting sometimes. But the amount of energy she had today was incredible and she hadn't been sick once.

Perhaps the entomologist had been wrong. Ethan said he made mistakes quite a lot (though Honey was sure he was exaggerating), so all the doctors probably did. Honey didn't know any doctors who were cleverer than Ethan.

Robyn held her hand out to Ethan. "Do you think you can stand up? I've got a first aid kit, so if you come into this little room with me, I'll have a look at both of you."

"And you never know, Robyn," said Louise. "Maybe _other doctors_ will trip over the doorstep too. I don't mean anyone in particular, of course!"

Zoe gave her a stern look. "Behave, you."

Louise opened her eyes wide. "I am behaving," she said in an innocent voice. "I didn't so much as mention Cal's name… oops."

"That would be a first," said Rita, as she took Louise's arm and marched her towards the party room. "You've hardly mentioned anyone else all day." Her voice carried back to the others. "I'm almost starting to get suspicious!"

Lily patted Robyn awkwardly on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Robyn. I know you have far too much taste to be attracted to Cal." She helped Honey up. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," said Honey. "Just worried about Ethan. I love that colour trousers on him, but if he's cut himself, it's going to stain."

"Okay, Ethan," said Robyn, once they were in the little room with the first aid kit. "Shall I roll your trouser leg up or would you rather take them off?"

"Take them off!" shouted Honey.

Ethan went that adorable shade of red again. "I think it would be quite easy to roll them up, Robyn."

Honey kissed his cheek and sat down beside Robyn. "Can I help?"

"Of course you can, sweetheart," said Robyn. "Roll his trousers up… that's right. Right up over the knee."

Honey couldn't resist pressing her lips to Ethan's leg. "He's got amazing legs, hasn't he?"

" _Honey_!" said Ethan, and to her delight, he was blushing again.

Honey started to massage Ethan's calf. "I think doctors should wear shorts to work. Don't you? It would be much cooler than wearing scrubs – though Ethan does look hot in his – and much easier to wash off if you get vomit all over you."

Lily frowned. "I'm not sure I want to see any of the doctors in shorts, thank you. It would be unprofessional."

"And much too distracting," said Robyn with a giggle. "I'd never get any work done if Cal was wandering around in shorts all day. Or Ethan or Dylan, obviously."

Ethan was looking pink again. "Thank you, Robyn. Honey, I'm really sorry and I should have mentioned this before, but that's actually the wrong knee."

"Yes, you should have mentioned it before," said Lily. "You're lucky we're not in a busy ED with a waiting room full of patients."

Honey gave Lily a slightly reproachful look.

"Though as it is your engagement party and Honey is looking particularly beautiful, I will forgive you," said Lily.

Robyn touched Honey's arm. "Why don't you roll Ethan's other trouser leg up, Honey."

"Oh, right. Yeah. Sorry." Honey had forgotten Ethan's knee. She rolled his other trouser leg up (leaving the other leg exposed because he did have lovely legs) and had a look at his knee. "Yeah, it is bleeding a bit."

Robyn selected a plaster and gave it to Honey. "Take the backing off and stick it down."

Honey peeled a bit off the backing. "It won't stick!"

"I think there might be more backing," said Robyn patiently.

Honey removed another strip of backing and put it onto Ethan's knee. She pressed down firmly.

"Ouch!" said Ethan. "I mean… that looks really good, Honey. Very professional."

"Really?" said Honey, pleased. She looked at Robyn and Lily. "Do you think I could train as a nurse?"

"I… um… yeah," said Robyn. "Of course you could."

Lily patted Honey's shoulder. "But you have other priorities at the moment: your health and perhaps a baby in the near future."

"Yes... a baby!" said Honey rapturously.

Ethan smiled as he finished rolling his trouser legs back down. "So now I'm here and I've been patched up, shall we begin the celebrations?"

"Let's get this party started!" shouted Honey, making Ethan jump and nearly fall off his chair. "Oh, I love you, Ethan. I do love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

Ethan and Honey walked into the hall hand in hand. He stared up at the sparkling silver banners proclaiming their names and that 'he asked, she said yes'; twinkling fairy lights; more balloons; more tinsel than went on the average Christmas tree; ribbons and streamers and lace hung from the ceiling (and Ethan thought both he and Honey, unlike most of them, would be able to move around without walking into them); pink velvet heart cushions were on the chairs; pink fluffy clouds hung from the ceiling.

There were several circular tables surrounded by chairs, a pink tee light at every place. Around the edges of the room were rectangular tables for the buffet.

There was a three-tier engagement cake; sausages on sticks; several different kinds of chocolate; jelly and ice-cream; cheese and biscuits (at least six varieties of both); various joints of cold meat; a number of bowls of crisps; a very large bowl of salad – and one rather bewildering table that seemed to be nothing but pots of honey and plates of different kinds of nuts.

Ethan turned wonderingly to Honey. "Did you do all this?"

"I didn't do any of it actually," admitted Honey. "But it was all my idea."

Lily came to stand beside them. "I did not want Honey to tire herself out before the party began. So she sat down and supervised and gave instructions. I think the result is very… interesting."

Ethan smiled to himself. He might have known that fineries and fripperies wouldn't be Lily's thing, but he appreciated that she was polite yet honest. "I'm glad you got lots of rest, Honey."

He put his arm around her and she wrapped both arms around his waist, looking up at him. "I thought it might worry you if I got rushed to the hospital in the middle of our engagement party."

"Yes, it absolutely would!" said Ethan, kissing the top of her head. "I'm glad you're feeling so well, Honey. Perhaps your side effects are beginning to settle down at last."

"Oh, we have more guests!" exclaimed Honey as Cal, Max, Lofty and a rather uncomfortable-looking Dylan entered, followed by Noel and Big Mac.

Ethan smiled, unable to believe they were all here for him and Honey. He certainly hadn't expected Dylan to come and he thought Max might consider himself too cool to come to Ethan's party. "Hey. Thank you for coming. I'm glad you could make it."

"I like the decorations," said Lofty. He sounded like he meant it, though Lofty was nice enough to say anything. Or perhaps he was nice enough to _like_ everything.

"Honey organised it all," said Ethan proudly. "The bridesmaids did the work. Honey sat down and told them what to do because she wanted to save her energy for the big night."

For some reason, Cal found this hilarious.

"What did I say?" Ethan whispered into Honey's ear.

"I think you don't want to know," Honey whispered back.

Ethan decided there was a good chance she was right and decided to let the subject drop.

"Shall we dance?" said Honey, as music filled the air.

" _You_ can dance," said Ethan, and smiled at Honey's slightly disappointed upturned face. "I will stand facing you and I'll move my body around almost in time with the music and make myself look completely ridiculous, but it's very unlikely that I'll actually dance."


	43. Chapter 43

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you think Ethan and Honey are cute. It's a shame it wasn't explored much in the show.

 **Tanith Panic** , at least it wasn't a serious knee injury! I thought about not hurting Ethan (alien thought, I know), but I thought Honey would like playing nurse. Thank you for your review - I'm glad I've captured Ethan's adorability!

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. Honey isn't helping herself long-term, but it is tempting to make the most of it when you happen to feel well. There is more about Robyn and Cal to come...

* * *

After Ethan had finished performing is own individual interpretation of the word 'dance' and Cal had finished laughing at him, Ethan took Honey's hand and led her towards the table that had confused him. "Does this table with honey and nuts on have a very clever meaning I don't understand?"

"That's our table," said Honey proudly. "It's got our names on it."

Ethan looked at the table again. "I can see where it says Honey. Are some of the nuts called Ethan's nuts?"

Cal spat out his champagne and Ethan blushed for what must have been the millionth time since he'd got here.

"No," said Honey. "It's the Honey and Nibbles table, isn't it?"

"Are we supposed to dip the Nibbles in the Honey?" asked Cal suggestively.

Max and Lofty spat their champagne out this time, though Lofty apologised afterwards.

Lily looked disgusted. "I'm sure that was not necessary. Anyone who works in a hospital full of patients who say ridiculous things at times should have better control of their emotions than that. Clean the floor, please. Max should knowwhat to do even if you two don't."

"I'll help," offered Robyn.

Louise raised an eyebrow.

"Robyn always helps us at home," said Lofty quickly. "It gets done much quicker that way."

"That sounds very unfair on Robyn," said Lily.

"You know what? You're right," said Robyn. "Clean up your own mess for a change." Without looking at Cal, Robyn retreated to the other side of the room and tried to start a conversation with Dylan.

Honey grabbed Ethan's hand and led him away from the others. "We have so got to fix up Robyn and Cal!"

Ethan had never been more horrified. On the whole, he'd rather watch his brother spit on the floor. "We can't, Honey. It's sweet of you to want to make Robyn happy, but you know what Cal's like. He'd break her heart."

"But their star signs are perfect!" said Honey.

Ethan decided it would be kinder not to give his opinion of astrology. "Are you sure Robyn even likes Cal?"

"Trust me," said Honey, a knowing look in her lovely eyes. "A girl always knows. Robyn _loves_ Cal."

"But she's much too good for him," said Ethan. "I don't want her to get hurt. Especially not if we helped them to get together. I'd feel responsible."

There was a dreamy look in Honey's eyes and Ethan knew she wasn't listening. "Wouldn't it be amazing," she said, "if we had a double wedding with Cal and Robyn?"

"Nothing would amaze me more," said Ethan.

Honey hugged him in delight. "So what should we do? Lock them in one of those little rooms together? Spill champagne on Cal's top and Robyn's dress so they have to take them off? Play spin the bottle and fix it somehow so they have to kiss each other?"

"I think we should leave them alone and let it happen naturally," said Ethan firmly. He lightly kissed her lips. "Firstly because if their star signs really are perfect, they'll find each other without any help from us."

"But it's fun helping people get together!" said Honey.

Ethan moved closer to her, putting his arms around her waist. "And secondly because I don't want to spend the night running round after Cal and Robyn. I want to spend the night with you. No! Not like that. I mean I want to spend the _evening_ with you. That's what I mean."

"So, you don't want to spend the night with me?" said Honey.

"Yes! I mean no, I mean yes, I mean…"

Honey burst out laughing and hugged him close.

* * *

Honey was a bit worried about the meal. She'd chosen the menu based on appropriateness for the occasion rather than appropriateness for the bride's sensitive stomach, but she was relieved to discover there was quite a lot of plain food she could eat. She had lots of honey to help settle her stomach and she discovered that nibbles dipped in honey really was delicious.

Afterwards, everyone hung around in little groups, chatting. Dylan looked like he wished he was with canines rather than humans, but Lofty had talked to him all through dinner and then Robyn talked to him afterwards, before Zoe had taken over.

Honey didn't know why Dylan had bothered to come if he didn't like parties. He obviously wasn't enjoying himself and he doubted anyone could enjoy talking to him when he was so miserable. She thought about saying that Dylan was weird, but Ethan did get a bit upset by her honest statements sometimes. She didn't want to upset Ethan, especially not tonight.

He did look especially gorgeous. Honey had read about removing guys' glasses and discovering they were gorgeous underneath, but Ethan was equally gorgeous with and without. He actually looked quite different without his glasses so it was a bit like having two handsome faces for the price of one! It would be an exaggeration to say that he had every hair in place as Honey had been playing with it quite a lot, but it still looked lovely in the places it had ended up. His eyes were a deep, rich brown, like chocolate, and his lips looked soft and warm and kissable and even though he didn't have as many muscles as Cal, for example, Ethan's arms were warm and affectionate and she loved being in them.

Actually, she wanted to be in them right now.

"Ethan, I need some air," said Honey huskily.

Ethan looked at her in concern. "Are you feeling faint? You don't look too good actually. Your pupils are very dilated."

Honey tried not to laugh. Her daydreams of seducing Ethan _never_ included him telling her she didn't look good.

"You'd better sit down," said Ethan. "Come on." He put his arm securely around Honey and slowly started to help her towards a chair.

It was adorable when he misunderstood things, but that only made Honey want him more. "No, I want to go _outside_ ," she said.

Ethan nodded understandingly. "Perhaps you're right: It is rather warm in here. We'll go in the room where you looked after my knee. Let me just see if I can catch Robyn's eye: I'm sure she'd bring you a drink and something to eat."

Honey wasn't sure what to do. She didn't want to embarrass the poor man, but she definitely didn't want a threesome with Robyn. "I want to go outside for some _air_ ," she said significantly.

"It's okay. I know that," said Ethan. "It didn't cross my mind for a moment that you might mean metaphorical air. Don't worry."

"What's metaphysical air?" said Honey.

"Meta _phorical_ air is when…" Ethan was blushing again. "I'm sure you'd never do this, but some people, when they want to be alone with their partner, they say they want to go out for some air. But really what they mean is that they want to go out and… show their affection for one another in a way that would be inappropriate in here in front of our friends, or at the very least, inconsiderate."

Honey looked away. She didn't know what to do now. She didn't want to disappoint Ethan by proving she was the kind of girl who liked metaphysical air, but the more he kept getting things wrong and being all innocent and sweet, the more she wanted metaphysical air.

"I'll have a word with Robyn," said Ethan.

Honey grasped his hands. "No, Ethan! I was trying to be all polite about it, but I can't. I want metaphysical air with you. I want to have metaphysical air with you right now!"

"Oh! Right, well… yes, of course," said Ethan. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I didn't realise. Of course we can if that's what you want to do." He paused. "How much air exactly were you thinking of taking?"

"You what?" said Honey. She didn't know what he was on about now.

"Do you just mean kissing and cuddling and exchanging words of love?" said Ethan. "Or were you thinking of something a bit more… personal?"

"Does it matter?" said Honey.

Ethan squirmed. "It does matter when there's a chance we could be caught."

Honey thought about being disappointed, but how could she be disappointed when she was with someone as lovely as Ethan? "Kissing and cuddling sounds good to me."

There was a smile on Ethan's face and a light in his eyes as he slowly came around to the idea. "Then let's go and get some air."

Ethan would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying himself. He loved the feel of Honey's soft body pressed against his and the way her hands raked through his hair and over his back and shoulders. Her lips tasted like… well, kind of like her name really. Her hair felt so soft and although he had pulled a couple of hair extensions out of place, Honey hadn't wanted him to stop.

He moaned something against her lips (he didn't know what and wasn't sure he wanted to because he had a feeling it might have been something embarrassing) and felt her hands running down his spine, lower and lower and lower and… _oh my goodness…_

He wanted to ask her what she was doing, but she was kissing him and he wasn't sure he could have found his voice anyway.

Honey's hands were inside his boxers. Only the back of them, but it was still… quite something. She slowly withdrew her tongue from his mouth and asked: "Are you okay with this?"

"I-I-I think it depends entirely on your definition of 'okay'," said Ethan. He felt his heartbeat vibrating through his body and some part of his brain told him he was tachycardic.

Honey looked disappointed, but then she smiled and planted another kiss on his mouth. "Okay, Ethan. I'll stop. I'll… oh God, Ethan!"

"What's wrong, darling?" he asked, trying not to think about where her fingers were. "Are you feeling ill? Let's sit down for a bit."

"No, I'm fine!" said Honey. "But my engagement ring is caught on your boxers and I don't know what to do!"


	44. Chapter 44

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , he's very innocent, but that's one thing I love about him! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , don't worry about not getting the 'Honey and Nibbles' part. I didn't really expect anyone to until it was explained, but I don't think it matters if you're sharing Ethan's confusion. I'm glad you liked the last line. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan shushed her as gently as he could. "Honey, please don't shout about my underwear. Someone might hear."

Honey's eyes were wide with panic. "Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"Yes, of course I did. You said that…" Ethan was feeling panicky too now. "Oh gosh. That is a problem."

"Yeah, and I don't suppose you're up for going in there and asking for help, are you?" said Honey.

"Well… I don't think we can really do that without giving them completely the wrong impression," said Ethan.

"The wrong impression?" almost shrieked Honey. Ethan shushed her again. "What would be wrong about their impression?"

Ethan was blushing. For a change. "If we tell them what's happened, they might think we were… you know…"

"What's wrong with that?" said Honey.

"Everything!" said Ethan. "It's just… not right. We have guests."

Honey sighed. "Then what are we going to do? Stay stuck like this forever? Not that I mind, but I don't think you can hide the fact you've got a girl hanging out of your pants."

"No." Ethan tried to put his head in his hands, but Honey's head was in the way. "Oh my goodness. What are we going to do?"

"That's what I'm asking you!" said Honey. "You're supposed to be the smart one!"

Yes, that was true… though Ethan happened to have a very high opinion of Honey's intellect. She understood all kinds of things that were a complete mystery to Ethan.

"Do you have any ideas?" asked Ethan.

Honey thought for a moment. She smiled. "I suppose you could just take them off."

Ethan looked at her in horror. "Take them off? In public?"

"Well… yeah," said Honey. "Haven't you ever done that before?"

"Of course not!" said Ethan, shocked at the idea, before remembering Honey used to work in a strip club. "I mean… not that there's anything wrong with it. I just… haven't."

Honey's free hand dropped to the front of his trousers. "First time for everything."

"You-you-you can't!" said Ethan, aware he was jumping up and down on the spot, which probably made him look ridiculous, but he couldn't stop himself. "I… I… I'm not ready."

Honey sighed. "Ethan, this is our engagement party and you're not _ready_?"

"Not for taking off my trousers and goodness-knows-what-else in public," said Ethan.

"But Ethan, it's dark!" said Honey. "No-one's going to see."

"They will if they come outside," said Ethan. "If Cal decides to take Robyn out for metaphorical air…"

Honey shrugged. "Doesn't matter if they do. They'll be doing exactly the same thing as us if I knew your brother. Except that… oh. Ew."

"What's wrong?" said Ethan, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Honey's nose was all crinkled. "I don't think I'd like to see your brother with his pants off."

"No?" said Ethan, rather surprised.

"We're getting married!" said Honey. "He's practically my brother. That would be just… wrong. Don't you think?"

"Oh. Yes. _Very_ wrong," said Ethan. He felt very happy until he remembered their situation. "So we need an alternative plan."

Honey nodded. "I mean, not that there aren't worst places I could have my hand stuck. Like if I'd got my hand stuck in that drain when I was looking for my… um... my… my watch!"

Ethan looked at her in concern. "You dropped your watch down a drain?"

"Yeah, but it was years ago," said Honey. "It doesn't matter now."

Ethan was still worried. He couldn't help it. "Did you get it back?"

"Yeah, well, it actually wasn't really down there," said Honey. "I just thought it was."

"Ah. I see," said Ethan, who didn't.

Honey sighed. "This is pants, this is."

Ethan couldn't stop himself from laughing. "We've really got our knickers in a twist now."

Honey stared at him. "You what?"

"We've been caught underwears," said Ethan. He was enjoying himself now. He knew he shouldn't really be enjoying himself as they were still in a rather unfortunate situation, but he did love puns. "So we need to g-string ourselves up a bit."

Honey's jaw dropped. "You WHAT?"

"Because some-thong really is horribly wrong," said Ethan.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's far from just a smalls problem," said Ethan.

"Are you trying to be clever or something?"

Ethan leaned against Honey and laughed some more. "But I'm sure we can get out of it if we think outside the boxers."

Honey pouted. "No offence, Ethan, but you've had way too much to drink."

"I'm not drunk," said Ethan. "It's just a brief case of the giggles."

"It better had be!" said Honey. Then she groaned. "Oh, wait. I get it. Brief case. You're doing those pun things, aren't you? About bags and stuff?"

"No, I'm making puns about…" Ethan stopped.

He was making puns about underwear.

To his fiancée.

In public.

"Ethan?" said Honey. "Why are you blushing?"

"Because I forgot, um, the seriousness of our situation," said Ethan. "I shouldn't have let myself get distracted by, um, other things. But it won't happen again."

Honey almost looked fierce. "Because I didn't come out here so you could blush and giggle like a virgin. Which you're not."

Ethan put his hands over his hot face. "Honey, do you have to shout?" Silently, he added: _I know I started this, but I really drawers the line at this turn of conversation._

"Sex isn't embarrassing, Ethan."

"Of course it's not. Of corset..." Ethan put his hands over his mouth. "Oh gosh. I am so sorry!"

Honey rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you haven't been drinking?"

"Perhaps I have," said Ethan. _Something is causing me to make all these bloomers. Honey must think I'm completely undercrackers._

He collapsed in giggles again. He knew he was verging on hysteria now. As opposed to virgin on hysteria.

"Right: that's it. I'm going inside!" said Honey, and tried to storm off, but of course, Ethan ended up going with her.

He tried to be serious. "There must be something we can-"

He stopped. They were almost at the door now. The light was on and a figure was illuminated. Whether they were looking out or about to open the door, Ethan didn't know and didn't care. He dragged Honey behind a tree.

"Ah, yes, this is more like it!" said Honey.

"Shh!" hissed Ethan as the door opened.

It was Robyn. For a horrible moment, Ethan thought Cal might follow her, but instead, Robyn shut the door. She walked a few steps to the wall, sat on it and began to cry.

Ethan was furious. Obviously that brother of his had broken her heart. "I'd better go and speak to her. You stay here if you like."

"Not sure that's an option really," said Honey. "We're kind of attached to each other."

Ethan smiled in delight. "That's a good one!" He kissed her quickly and tried to think of a response, but Robyn was crying more and more loudly. "Maybe if I phone Lofty and tell him Robyn's out here… no, that's no good. He'll want to know why I can't go myself…"

"You could, you know," said Honey. "I'm sure Robyn won't tell if we ask her not to."

Ethan just looked at her.

"Okay. Maybe she would," admitted Honey. She looked at Robyn. "But we've got to do something."

The door opened again and Cal appeared. No doubt he was going to let Robyn down gently and tell her what a great girl he was and how he loved her like a sister.

"Robyn?" Cal moved towards her and failed to notice the step Ethan had tripped over her earlier, but unfortunately, Cal didn't end up on his rear end. All it did was propel him towards Robyn more quickly. "Robyn, what's wrong?" He sat beside her and put his arm around her. "Louise didn't upset you, did she?"

"Not really," sniffed Robyn. "I just hate myself, Cal."

"Well, you're the only person here who does," said Cal. He put his other arm around her and pushed her head into his shoulder. You have no reason to hate yourself. None at all. And I can't wait to see you in your bridesmaid's outfit."

Robyn sobbed still harder. "I don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore."

"What?" gasped Honey. She turned to look at Ethan, her eyes pooling with tears. "What did I do, Ethan? What did I do?"


	45. Chapter 45

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. You might be right about Robyn - she'll tell Cal what's wrong in this chapter. I'm sure Ethan will comfort Honey if he can!

 **Tanith Panic** , Robyn has no reason to hate herself, but that won't necessarily stop her. I'm glad you enjoyed the puns. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan wrapped his arms around Honey. "Don't cry, darling," he whispered. "I'm sure it's nothing you've done."

"How do you know?" asked Honey.

"Because I know you haven't done anything," Ethan said softly into her ear. "If we listen, I'm sure we'll find out."

"Ooh: eardropping, Dr Hardy?" said Honey.

"Eavesdropping. Yes. Exactly," said Ethan.

"Why don't you want to be a bridesmaid?" Cal was asking Robyn, his voice confused but very gentle.

"Because I'm going to look like a fat lump next to the others!" wailed Robyn.

"No, you won't!" said Cal. "You'll look beautiful."

Robyn sniffled. "But Louise and Lily and Rita and Zoe are so thin and gorgeous."

Cal rubbed her back. "And you're curvy and gorgeous. You're beautiful, Robyn. You're the kind of girl I want to cuddle up with. Not some stick insect who's all humeruses and patellas."

Robyn giggled faintly.

"What and what?" said Honey.

Ethan was frowning. " _Humeri_ and _patellae_ , Caleb," he said under his breath.

Honey tugged on his boxers, knowing that would get his attention. "What and what, Ethan?" she whispered.

"The humerus is the upper arm bone, which includes the elbow bone," said Ethan, showing her his own arm. "The patella is the bone at the front of the knee. Cal was saying he doesn't like girls who are all knees and elbows, but he was putting a clever medical spin on it."

"Oh!" said Honey, understanding now. "Like you do sometimes."

"Yes: exactly," said Ethan, smiling at her. "Only Caleb wasn't being nearly as clever as he thinks he was. He said 'humeruses and patellas', which is incorrect. The plural of humerus is humeri and the plural of patella is patellae."

"What?" said Honey.

"I'll explain later," whispered Ethan.

Cal was still being all sensitive and manly. "And you're not just beautiful outside, Robyn. You're beautiful inside too. I wouldn't swap you for any of those other bridesmaids. Or even for all four of them."

Honey gave Ethan an odd look. It sounded like her fiancé was grinding his teeth. That wasn't the kind of thing she expected from Ethan.

Robyn sniffed. "So I'm next on your list then, am I?"

"You're the only girl on my list," said Cal, with smouldering eyes. Honey tried not to laugh. He looked so silly.

Ethan muttered something she couldn't catch.

"Oh great: so you've already kissed the others and I'm the only one left?" said Robyn.

Cal looked genuinely horrified. "No! I just meant you're the only girl I want. I haven't had Louise or Rita or Zoe or even Lily properly, but I don't want them, Robyn. I only want you."

"Yeah, for tonight," said Robyn. "Lots of guys have wanted me for one night. But then there's the morning after."

"Oh, baby!" Cal held her tightly. "Okay. I'll tell you what's going to happening. If you agree, I mean. I'm going to drive you home and then kiss you if you'll let me and then I'm going to leave. Then I'll see you tomorrow at work and let you know what time I'm picking you up tomorrow evening." He looked slightly shy, but maybe it was a trick of the moonlight. "We could have lunch together too if you wanted. And meet up on our breaks. Then in the evening, I'll pick you up and take you to a really nice restaurant and then I'll take you home and kiss you if you'll let me and then I'll go home. The day after that, I'm probably working later than you, but if you're not too tired, I'll pick you up after I finish work and we'll go dancing. Then I'll take you home and kiss you if you let me and… you know the rest. Then the day after that, maybe you could come to my flat and I'll cook for you. I'm sure Ethan will be there too so there's no need to worry. And then-"

Honey was sighing romantically, but Ethan just looked annoyed.

"Yes, thank you for consulting me first, Caleb," he whispered. "I mean, it's not like I have a girlfriend of my own, is it?"

"You don't," said Honey.

Ethan's eyes widened. "I haven't got a girlfriend?"

Honey smiled at him. "Just a fiancée."

"Oh!" said Ethan, clearly relieved.

Honey kissed him lightly and then pinched his bottom because really, it would be a crime not to, considering where her hand was.

Ethan squeaked and both Cal and Robyn turned around.

"What was that?" said Robyn.

"An owl," said Cal. "A mating call, I think. Are you okay to be out here? I don't want you to get cold."

"I'm not cold," said Robyn.

Cal sighed. "I just hope I can remember it's too early to kiss you."

Ethan rolled his eyes.

Robyn looked up at Cal. "It's not that I don't want to kiss you. But I have to be sure I can trust you."

Cal sounded a bit sad. "I can understand that. But I hope you'll let me…" He kissed her forehead. "Don't worry. You're gorgeous and the other girls are nothing. Zoe's too old and Lily's too cold and Louise is too bitchy and Rita's too butch…"

Honey narrowed her eyes. "Hey, that's my bridesmaids he's insulting!"

"Rita isn't butch," said Robyn a bit reproachfully. "And Zoe's not really that old. And Louise is just… she stands up for herself. And I think Lily's really just shy."

Cal smiled. "They're all too everything as far as I'm concerned because they're not you, are they? And of course, they're much, much, _much_ too bony." He shuddered quite realistically and made Robyn laugh.

"Are you all right?" Honey asked Ethan anxiously. He looked a bit sick.

"I'm fine," said Ethan quickly. "Don't worry."

"Are you sure you're not too cold?" said Cal anxiously, as Robyn shivered. "I'd be happy to stay out here with you all evening if that's what you want, but at least let me get you my coat."

Robyn shivered again as she considered. "Maybe I should go in. It is a bit cold."

"Okay, beautiful. We can continue this conversation indoors." Cal kissed her forehead and got up, holding out his hand. "Don't worry. You're great and you're beautiful and don't you forget it… and if you do forget it, tell me and I'll remind you."

They went back inside, hand in hand.

"You're brother's quite sweet really," said Honey dreamily. "I knew him and Robyn would be perfect."

"Yes… if you believe a word he says," said Ethan.

Honey looked at him in surprise. "You think it's just a line? He's just trying to get into her panties?"

"You know Cal and his panty lines," said Ethan grimly.

Honey pulled at his boxers suggestively. "To be honest, I know a lot more about yours."

"Oh, um… yes." He was blushing again.

"So how are we going to solve our problem then?" said Honey.

Ethan pursed his lips adorably in thought. "I think it would be much easier if we could see what we were doing."

"Okay, so do you want me to text Lily and ask her to bring us a torch?" said Honey. It wasn't a serious suggestion, but it was worth it for the way Ethan's eyes went wide in alarm, before realising she was joking. "Sorry. Did I nearly give you a heart attack?"

"No, you nearly gave me a cardiac arrest," said Ethan.

Honey looked confused. "What's the difference?"

"Oh, it's quite easy really," said Ethan. "A cardiac arrest is when the heart ceases to…"

Honey made a face.

Ethan stopped. "Oh. You don't actually want to know the answer do you?"

"Um… not really," admitted Honey. "At least, not now. There's other stuff I want to do."

Ethan smiled. "You're right. We really need to do something about your hand."

Honey moved her hand up and down. She did like the feel of Ethan's bottom. It was so smooth and it curved in all the right places. It was soft but firm. It was…

"Um… Honey," said Ethan, his face adorably pink. "Do you think you could maybe stop doing that, please?"

"Don't you like it?" said Honey.

"I think the problem is more that I like it a bit too much," said Ethan with a smile. "I just really need you to keep still for a minute. I'm sorry, but I need to think and you're making that rather difficult."

Honey thought about continuing with what she was doing, but she didn't want to shock Ethan too much - and if they were going to get out of this mess, they needed Ethan's brains.

"Okay," said Ethan. His cheeks were still flushed. "Here's my first idea. We could go to the loo and sort it out."

"Well, I'm not going in the men's!" said Honey. "You never know what you might see in there!" She looked at Ethan doubtfully. "But I don't suppose you'd be happy going in the ladies'"

"I think I'd be inclined to say no, I wouldn't," admitted Ethan. "Sorry."

"No, that's good," said Honey. "I think I'd have been quite upset if you said yes. But what are we going to do?" Her voice shook. "I thought it was quite funny at first. But now I can't go into my own engagement party!"


	46. Chapter 46

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I love Cal too! But I don't think he'd be interested in either of us. Not in this story anyway! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , Robyn looks great, she's rarely unhappy about the way she looks and it doesn't seem to be affecting her health, so she should go on being her lovely self! I love the idea of Cal imitating an owl's mating call to the Casualty theme tune! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan put his arms around Honey. "Shh, darling. It's all right. We'll think of something. How about if I text Lofty? I'm sure he'd be happy to help."

Honey shook his head. "He's so clumsy, he'd probably tear your trousers."

"I don't think he's really clumsy," said Ethan. "More unlucky."

Honey caught the reproof in his tone. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. But I don't want him being unlucky with your trousers either."

"No, I can't say I'd like that either," said Ethan. He thought again. "How about Rita?"

"You what?" said Honey. She was angry now. "You want Rita poking around in your pants?"

Ethan held her more tightly. "Of course not. It would be excruciatingly embarrassing and I'd never be able to look her in the eye again. I just think she'd be very professional and keep it a secret."

"No," said Honey. "She's too… blonde."

"How about Zoe?" said Ethan.

"No way am I letting that cradle-snatcher near my fiancé!" said Honey fiercely. "I mean, I like Zoe. I like Zoe loads. I just think she'd enjoy herself too much."

"I very much doubt that, but why don't we ask Lily?" said Ethan. "Lily would be very professional and nothing fazes her."

"She'd also enjoy it way too much!" said Honey. "I've seen her watching you."

Ethan looked as though he had trouble believing that, but he didn't push it. "Louise?"

"Yeah, great idea, if you can cope with her being sarcastic about it for the rest of your life!"

"Okay," said Ethan. "That leaves the men."

"I think I'd prefer it if it was a man anyway," said Honey.

Ethan looked like he wasn't sure if he should agree or not. "How about your dad?"

"That would just be weird."

"True. Big Mac?"

"He'd tell my dad," said Honey. "They tell each other everything."

"So that leaves Cal, Max or Dylan."

Honey made a sound of frustration. "No offence, Ethan, but you've got rubbish friends."

"I don't know about rubbish, but I'm certainly not letting Cal anywhere near you," said Ethan. "How about Max?"

"No way!" said Honey. "He'd be really nice about it, but Zoe would follow him and watch the whole thing. It would be dead creepy."

"Okay," said Ethan. "Dylan?"

They looked at one another for a moment.

"You're right," sighed Ethan. "I don't quite like to say my friends are rubbish, but perhaps they aren't ideally suited to our current circumstances."

* * *

"Are you ready?" said Honey.

Ethan didn't think he'd ever be ready, but he nodded and smiled. Honey put her hand on the door handle and turned it.

Nothing happened.

"I don't believe it!" said Honey. "That stupid brother of yours locked us out!"

"More likely Robyn," said Ethan. "I don't think I've ever known Cal to lock a door. I've always wished he'd do it more often."

Honey sighed. "Well, whoever did it, we're as stuck as my hand is."

Ethan nodded, worried. "I suppose we'll have to knock at the door. I don't see what else we can do."

Honey patted his bottom. "Don't worry. I've got a plan. A brilliant, foolproof, genius plan that any barrister would be proud of. Never mind a barista."

Ethan tried not to feel even more worried.

"Put your arm around me," instructed Honey. "And I'll move my hand as much as I can so it looks like my arm's round you. Then we knock at the door; someone lets us in; we say we need the loo and they'll go off and leave us to it; we stand under the light and I try to untie myself."

"You know," said Ethan suddenly, as a rather belated thought occurred to him, "there is something you could do. Something very easy."

Honey looked at him eagerly. "What is it?"

"You could take your ring off," said Ethan. "Then I could go to the loo on my own; take my trousers off; remove the ring – and then the problem will be solved."

Honey stared at him in amazement. Ethan started to feel proud of himself for thinking of something so clever.

"Are you crazy?" said Honey.

Ethan came to the unwelcome conclusion that she didn't think his idea was nearly as clever as he did.

"I can't!" said Honey. "I'm never taking that ring off, Ethan. Never. I even wear it in the shower."

Ethan told himself he wasn't thinking about Honey in the shower. Definitely not.

"Besides," said Honey, "if you take your trousers off at our engagement party, the least you can do is let me watch."

Ethan told himself he _wasn't_ thinking about taking his trousers off as he prepared to join Honey in the shower.

It would never occur to him to think of such a thing.

"So let's do it my way," said Honey, and she banged on the door loudly before Ethan could argue.

They heard a lot of clicks and a bit of swearing before the door finally opened. "Sorry: it's not easy opening doors when I'm holding hands with Robyn," said Cal, but his face lit up when he saw it was Ethan. "You _weren't_!"

"No, we weren't," said Ethan firmly.

Honey shook her head. "Definitely not. No. Just kissing."

"Are you sure?" said Cal.

"Oh, leave them alone, Cal!" said Robyn. "They're allowed to get some air if they want to."

"That depends on which body parts they're airing," said Cal.

Robyn gave him a reproachful look.

Cal turned meekly back to Ethan. "I'm sorry, Ethan and Honey. I didn't mean to be crude. It was just habit. But I'm trying to break it." He looked anxiously at Robyn and relaxed when she smiled approvingly.

"Are you coming back to the party then?" said Robyn.

Honey nodded. "Yeah, but we need the loo first."

"But not together," said Ethan quickly. "I mean not in the same… you know."

Cal laughed, glanced at Robyn and stopped.

"I'll go with you," said Robyn.

"I hope you mean with Honey," said Cal.

Robyn gave him a look that wasn't quite adoring but a bit too close to it for Ethan's comfort. "Of course I mean with Honey! I don't want to go in the men's. It'd give me nightmares!"

"Ethan naked wouldn't give anyone nightmares," said Cal.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Ethan hotly. "Um, not that I actually want you to answer that question."

"Never mind: I'm still going with Honey," said Robyn. "Why don't you get me another drink, Cal, and I'll see you in a minute?"

Cal looked like he didn't want to go, but then he bent and kissed Robyn's cheek. "The lady's wish is the knight's command. See you later, beautiful."

Robyn giggled, then whispered to Ethan and Honey: "I know I shouldn't laugh really, but all that knight in shining armour stuff is actually quite hysterical."

"I think you should feel free to laugh as much as you want to," said Ethan.

"Maybe," said Robyn. She was still smiling. "Your brother really is cute. Did you know that, Ethan?"

"I hadn't noticed," said Ethan.

Robyn slipped her hand into Honey's arm. "Time for a gossip session, I think!" She and Honey walked towards the toilets.

Not having any choice in the matter, Ethan followed.

"No, Ethan: you can't come in with us!" said Robyn, laughing. Her eyes widened. "Oh my God! Honey, am I seeing things or are you…"

"You're seeing things," said Ethan. "I am a figment of your imagination. I'm not here."

Robyn's laughter faded. "You're stuck, aren't you?"

"No!" said Ethan.

"My ring's stuck," said Honey.

"Oh, don't you just hate it when that happens?" said Robyn sympathetically. "Seriously, I see it all the time in the ED. Come and stand under the light, Ethan, and I'll see what I can do."

* * *

Honey, Ethan and Robyn walked back into the party to discover Cal sitting in the corner, all alone with two drinks. His face lit up when he saw Robyn and he almost ran across the room, seemingly oblivious of everyone and everything else, including the fact that Max and Lofty were both looking him in a 'hurt Robyn and you're dead' sort of way.

 _I knew it!_ thought Honey triumphantly. _I knew Cal and Robyn belonged together._

Noel came over to them. "There you are! I was wondering where you'd got to. And no, I _don't_ want you to tell me." He walked towards an empty chair and climbed onto it. "Ladies and gentlemen. And Caleb Knight. If I might have your attention, I'm going to make a little proposal."

Honey clapped her hands in delight. "Oh my God! Are going to propose to Big Mac?"

"No!" said Noel. "For the last time, Mac and I aren't a couple. We're just mates. You know. BFF."

Honey cringed. "Dad, you are miles too old to say BFF. And just so you know, if a guy has a BFF, he's almost always gay."

Louise sidled up to Noel. "So, who is the lucky girl?" she asked, blatantly checking over his shoulder to see if Cal was watching her. He wasn't.

"There isn't a lucky girl," said Noel.

"Oh, so you are gay!" said Honey delightedly. "I knew it!"

"Honey, you wouldn't be here if I was gay," said Noel. "It's not that kind of proposal anyway. It's sort of a toasty sort of proposal."

Cal laughed. "Toasty? Sounds pretty hot to me!"

Noel ignored him. It was often the best way. "I'd like to propose a toast to Honey and Ethan. I'd like to wish them a long and healthy life, a happy marriage, and all the children they want."

"Thank you, Noel," said Ethan.

"Thanks, Dad," said Honey tearfully. "I love you."

Noel stepped down from the chair and put his arms around her. "I love you too, Honey. I'm so glad you came to find me."

"So am I, Dad," said Honey. If she hadn't come to Holby, she'd have missed out on knowing not only Noel but Ethan.

Perhaps Ethan was thinking the same thing. "I'm glad too," he said softly. "So very glad."


	47. Chapter 47

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , thank you for your review. I agree about Ethan being cute! But it might be Cal who's cute in this chapter. I hope so anyway!

 **Tanith Panic** , if she can keep her mouth shut, Robyn was a good person to help Ethan and Honey out. But that might be a big if! I'm glad you like the mixture of comedy and drama. That poor ring has been through some dramas! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I'm really glad you enjoyed the stuff with the ring - I wanted this story to have some lighter moments too. Robyn is very lucky to have you, Cal and Lofty looking out for her.

* * *

Honey held her tablets inches from the bin.

It was so tempting.

She'd felt good yesterday. She hadn't felt so well or so happy for ages. How could it possibly be right to take tablets that made you feel so much worse?

Today was not only a return to the tablets she hated, but the day when she increased her dosage to six propranolol and six carbimazole. Her eyes filled with tears. She knew she might be on this medication forever and she didn't want to live like that. She couldn't.

The only thing keeping her going was the fact she'd got away with not taking them yesterday.

She was going shopping with Lily, Robyn and Louise in a few days, so she'd do the same then.

But until then, it was misery.

Unless…

Honey moved her hand closer to the bin. _It is my decision, after all. I'm an adult. Nobody can make me take the tablets. All the doctors can do is advise me._

But then she remembered Ethan's face.

The swollen eyes; the tear-stained cheeks.

Honey moved her hand away from the bin. She put the tablets in her mouth one at a time, swallowing each with a gulp of water before she could change her mind.

* * *

Ethan couldn't help smiling as Cal rushed around the flat, getting ready for his date with Robyn. He'd never seen his brother like this before. Not even with Taylor.

"How do I look?" said Cal, running into the living room and posing.

"You look fine," said Ethan. "You looked fine before. The suit is fine and the hair is fine and I definitely think it looks better with a tie."

Cal looked uncharacteristically self-conscious. "Are you sure?"

"Completely sure," said Ethan. "Don't look so worried. Robyn isn't going to judge you on your clothes anyway."

Cal looked even more anxious. "What is she going to judge me on then?" He frowned. "I hope you're not saying Robyn's going to judge me on how much money I spend. She's not like that!"

"Of course she's not," said Ethan soothingly. "I just mean she's going to judge you on your personality."

"Oh God." Cal slumped on the sofa beside Ethan. "I might as well give up now!"

Ethan shook his head in bewilderment. "Cal, why are you so worried?"

Cal spoke in a low voice. "I don't want to mess this up, Ethan."

Ethan put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "You really like her, Cal, don't you."

Cal nodded. "The only thing I don't understand is how long it took me to realise. I mean, sure I had to get over Taylor before I was ready to start dating again. But I knew Robyn for nearly a year before I met Taylor. How did I not notice how amazing she is?"

"Perhaps you had to grow up a little bit first," suggested Ethan.

"Yeah, maybe," said Cal. "But still. If there's one thing I know all about, it's how to recognise a gorgeous women when I…" He jumped to his feet. "Oh God, what's the time?"

Ethan hid a smile. "It's not seven yet. You're not picking up Robyn till seven-thirty."

"Oh God, I'm going to be late!" panicked Cal. He ran out of the living room and into the bathroom.

Ethan smiled to himself and crossed his fingers that the date would go well.

* * *

Noel put the bucket on the floor and put his arms around his sobbing daughter. "It's okay, Honey. I'm sure you'll feel better soon. Maybe you overdid it at the party? I'm here, love. And Ethan will be here soon."

Honey thought of Ethan and tried to feel excited, but it was difficult. Ethan was wonderful, but she felt so awful and unattractive and she didn't see how he could possibly have a good time with her.

The doorbell rang. "That'll be my future son-in-law," said Noel, smiling.

Honey let go of him and flopped back against her pillows. "Maybe you should empty the bucket before you let him in?"

"Good idea." Noel took the bucket away and Honey heard him go into the bathroom before he went to answer Ethan's increasingly-frantic knocks. Honey closed her eyes and wished it was bedtime so she could sleep. When she was asleep, she felt okay.

And when she stopped taking these stupid tablets, she felt okay!

Ethan hurried into the room, looking worried. He sat on the bed and hugged her. "You should have told me you were feeling sick again, darling. I'd have come over sooner."

"There's nothing you could have done," said Honey. Her eyes filled with tears. "I hate it, Ethan. I hate it so much."

"Oh, Honey." Ethan held her in his arms as she cried. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's not fair. You went up to twelve tablets today, didn't you? I know it's horrible, but I'm sure you'll get used to it. You were fine yesterday and not that bad the day before, so it obviously is getting easier for you."

"But what happens when I've been taking twelve for a while and my butterfly still doesn't work?" sobbed Honey. "Will they put me up to fourteen? I can't do this, Ethan. I can't."

Ethan held her tightly. "I very much doubt they'll increase your tablets more than this. If it doesn't work, they'll try the alternative treatments."

"I don't even know what to hope for," wept Honey. "I don't want to be on these awful tablets for the rest of my life, but I don't want an operation and the radioactive treatment sounds even worse!"

Ethan hesitated. "Perhaps we should have a proper chat about the other treatment methods. Make sure you've understood them correctly. It can be very difficult to take in anything when you're at your appointment because everything's such a shock."

Honey shook her head and sobbed some more. "Not now, Ethan. Please not now."

"Of course," said Ethan. "Whatever you think, darling."

Honey sniffled. "Tell me something good, Ethan."

"Good?" said Ethan. "Um… we're getting married."

Not even that could make Honey feel better. "Tell me something I don't know already."

"Um... okay," said Ethan. He was silent for a little while, but when he did speak, she could tell he was smiling. "Cal is taking Robyn out for dinner tonight."

"I know that too," said Honey. "I knew about that before it even happened."

"Right. Yes. Of course you did," said Ethan. "But what you don't know is that it took him three hours to get ready and he changed his outfit at least three times."

Honey felt a spark of interest. "It took Cal three hours to get ready? I didn't know guys did that."

"Cal doesn't usually," said Ethan. "And he was wearing a suit too. I don't think I've seen him wearing a suit since... since Mum's funeral."

Honey felt his chest rise and fall in a sigh. She knew he wasn't thinking of Cal anymore. "Maybe you don't believe this," she said, "but I think dead people never really leave us. They're always watching. Every minute."

"Every minute?" said Ethan, a wistful note in his voice.

"Well, probably not when you're on the loo and stuff," said Honey. "And probably not when we're having sex because that would be weird." She peeped at Ethan and smiled when she saw the red around his cheekbones. After all this time, it still embarrassed him. "But most of the time, yeah. She's probably looking down and thinking: 'God, who is that trollope my baby's shacking up with?'."

Ethan laughed softly. "I've never heard my mum call anyone a trollope and I don't suppose she's going to start now. She's thinking: 'How on earth did that geeky son of mine managed to attract a beautiful, incredible girl like Honey?'."

"No, she's not," said Honey. "She's really thinking: 'It's so good seeing both my boys so happy'. That's what she's thinking, Ethan."

Ethan smiled. "Yes. I think you're right. I love you, Honey."

"I love you too." They hugged for a while. "So, Cal was in a bit of a panic?"

"A complete panic," said Ethan. "Rushing around; changing his clothes; doing his hair a million times. Anyone would think he'd never been on a date before."

Honey moved so she was resting the side of her head against his chest, her face tilted back so she could see his face. He was so handsome. It was the first thing she'd noticed about him. She remembered that day she'd first seen him in her shop. He'd looked so pale and ill. She'd teased him and frightened him half to death.

 _I seem to make a habit of that_ , thought Honey.

She knew that, by messing around with her tablets, she was risking frightening him to death again. Even though she felt better without them than with them, the doctors probably knew what they were talking about.

"For the first time in his life, he was actually worried about being late," said Ethan. "Not that he was in any danger of it. He kept asking me if I was sure he looked okay. I had to re-tie his tie for him because he wasn't happy. I kept telling him it didn't matter because Robyn only cared about who he was inside, but that didn't help."

 _Ethan is clever. Ethan knows everything_ , thought Honey. _If Ethan says I need to take the tablets, then he's right._

"He said he has to look good outside because he wasn't anything special inside," said Ethan wonderingly. " _Caleb Knight_ said that. He says that's why he gets drunk. To make himself more interesting." Ethan paused. "I didn't have the heart to tell him it had the opposite effect. Not right before a date when he was nervous already."

 _Ethan would never want to hurt anyone. He wouldn't want me to take these horrible tablets unless I really needed them_ , thought Honey.

She knew what she needed to do. She knew what Ethan wanted to do.

But she didn't know if she had the strength to do it.


	48. Chapter 48

**Gillian Kearney Fan** , it really is horrible for Honey. There are some things even being engaged to Ethan can't help with. There is a bit of a time jump so I haven't mentioned all Cal and Robyn's dates, but you will hear about at least one of them in the next chapter. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , I'm glad you enjoyed Cal getting all anxious over a date! Not something we're likely to see on TV, but on fanfiction, anything is possible! You have good reason to worry about Honey. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. Robyn definitely does deserve someone special - and who could be more special than Cal? There are alternative treatments, but they are quite aggressive and while they fix one problem, they often cause another. That's all I'm saying! And thank you for my 200th review for this story.

* * *

Honey didn't have the strength to stick with the tablets.

She'd cut down her tablets to half-doses the day before and today, for her big shopping trip with three of her bridesmaids, Honey was taking no tablets at all.

After all, it would probably be okay. She'd been fine at the party and that had been quite eventful. She'd stuck to plainer foods mostly, but she hadn't been all that careful about eating a proper balanced diet. She'd danced with Ethan quite a lot… or rather she'd danced and Ethan had been adorable… and she hadn't felt sick at all. Or not so much, it actually bothered her.

It all proved the tablets were useless. It wasn't tablets Honey needed. It was just a bit of mind over matter.

Honey checked her watch. Lily, Robyn and Louise should be here soon. Honey was driving as she was the only one with a car. It had surprised her to discover that. The other three all had degrees so they probably had much more money than a barista. But Lily rode a motorbike, Louise travelled to work by bus and Robyn walked. Lily said a bike was perfectly adequate for her needs and Robyn and Louise said cars were all very well for getting to work quickly and keeping the rain off, but they became a complete nuisance when you were too drunk to drive home. Half the time, you couldn't even drive them to work the next day because you were probably still over the limit from the night before.

Honey could see their point, but she knew she'd never give up her car. It was pink, for one thing. With eyelashes.

She'd asked Lily if her bike had eyelashes, but Lily had looked as though she didn't even understand the question.

Honey had offered to pick them all up, of course, but they'd insisted on coming to her flat. Honey thought that was a bit silly, but they'd obviously made up their mind so she hadn't tried to talk them out of it. It was horrible parking where Louise lived anyway. You practically had to open the door round the corner so Louise could jump in while the car was still moving. Once, Ethan had been sitting in the back and Louise had ended up in his lap. Poor Ethan had been so embarrassed. Robyn had told Honey privately that she thought Louise might have done it on purpose, but Honey hadn't been too upset. "It's not like I wouldn't have done exactly the same thing if I'd had half a chance," she'd told Robyn. "It's horrible for poor Ethan, but we can always let him sit in the front next time."

Honey picked up her hairbrush and made careful but firm strokes through her hair, careful not to detach her hair extensions. Ethan had pulled them right out on a few occasions when they'd first got together and Honey had decided it was the most adorable thing ever once she'd stopped screaming, but he'd learned how to deal with them now.

She finished working her way round her head and glanced at the brush as she put it back down on her dressing table.

Her heart literally nearly stopped.

Or maybe not literally because Ethan always corrected her when she said 'literally', but she thought she was probably right this time. Anyone's heart would literally nearly stop if their hair fell out.

Of course, it was impossible to brush your hair without some of your hair falling out, but losing this much was just wrong.

Honey grabbed her phone from the dressing table. She hadn't forgotten that Cal wanted her to bother him instead of Ethan when they were working, but this was desperate. There must be something badly wrong if her hair was falling out. She was struggling to breathe now too.

She started trembling. She'd never considered that not taking her tablets could produce side effects too, but that had to be what was happening. Ethan always insisted it was dangerous, but he'd never really explained how.

Tears filled Honey's eyes as she looked at the hair in her hairbrush. She might be able to get hair extensions to cover any bald patches, but if her hair kept falling out, there wouldn't be anything for the extensions to hold on to.

"Hey, sweetheart," said Ethan.

"Ethan…" panted Honey.

Ethan's voice became serious. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"My hair fell out and I can't breathe!" Honey burst into tears.

"It's okay, darling. I'm coming," said Ethan. "I'll be with you in just a… wait, what time is Lily coming over?"

"About five minutes," wept Honey. "If she gets there on time."

Ethan's voice was soothing. "If Lily is due in five minutes, that's the very longest she'll be. I should think she'd get there before me or even an ambulance. I think the best thing to do would be to let Lily examine you when she arrives. If it's anything serious, she can bring you to the ED."

Honey was still crying. "But I want to see you, Ethan."

"I know, darling, and I want to see you too," said Ethan. He sounded upset. "I can't tell you how worried I am. But Lily will get to you before I do and really, she's a much better person to examine you because she isn't nearly-related to you."

"Can't you come anyway?" begged Honey. "I need you, Ethan. I-" She stopped. "Ethan, the doorbell's rung."

"Go and answer it then," said Ethan gently. "I'll stay on the phone."

Honey scrubbed her tears away (it might not be her friends, after all) and went to answer the door, the phone still clutched in her hand. "I'm nearly at the door now, Ethan. I'm nearly there."

"Good," said Ethan. "I hope it's Lily. I'm sure it is."

Honey sniffed and opened the door. "Lily, I'm so glad it's you!" she wailed.

Lily didn't look worried. Instead, she went straight into doctor mode. "Are you feeling ill?" She put her arm around Honey and helped her into the living room.

Honey spoke tearfully into the phone. "Ethan, you were right. It's Lily."

"Okay, sweetheart," said Ethan. "Phone or text me back and tell me what Lily says. Even if it's not serious, I want to know. Everything's important when it's you."

"Okay," sniffed Honey.

"I love you," said Ethan.

"I love you too."

Lily patiently waited until Honey had finished her call. "Sit down and let me examine you. What are your symptoms?"

"My hair's falling out and I can't breathe," sobbed Honey.

Lily leaned close to her. "Your breathing sounds quick and shallow, but that's normal when you're crying. Did you start crying as soon as you found out?"

"Not straight away," said Honey. "But my breathing was funny before that and my hair's still falling out."

"I suspect the breathing problems were natural anxiety about your hair," said Lily, "but I'll do some more tests. Could you lie down for me? Thank you."

Honey lay on her back as Lily examined her chest. She decided it was a pity Ethan hadn't come. If Ethan was examining her chest, this would be exciting and distracting. As it was Lily, all she felt was upset.

"Your breath sounds are rather short and shallow, as I said, but you have had a distressing experience," said Lily. "I'll check them again in five minutes." She took Honey's pulse. "You are severely tachycardic, which suggests neither the proporanol nor the carbimazole are doing their job, but you're only slightly more tachycardic than usual."

Honey turned her head slightly away from Lily and stared up at the ceiling. Usually, she would have made a point of saying the propranolol and carbimazole were _definitely_ not doing their job, but she didn't quite like to mention them when she wasn't actually taking them properly.

"Ah. _Carbimazole_ ," said Lily.

She'd injected a certain meaning into her tone and Honey instantly felt her anxiety increase.

Did Lily know? Could she tell Honey wasn't taking it? Lily was very clever, though not as clever as Ethan and he had never suspected anything.

Guilt joined the fear racing around in Honey's body. She didn't like deceiving Ethan. She really didn't.

"I believe a possible side effect of carbimazole is hair loss," said Lily. She got out her phone and started pressing buttons.

Honey stared at her in disbelief. "Lily? Are you _googling_ it?"

"Yes, though I would only visit a site I considered reputable," said Lily. "I would use the hospital's new website, but I doubt I'd be able to access it from here. "Yes: here we are. Hair loss is a side effect of taking carbimazole. Could you sit up a bit, please, so I can look at your hair?"

Honey sat up. Before Lily had become a registrar, she'd have been wary of accepting Lily's opinion on her hair, but it seemed that hair care was part of the registration exams as Lily's hair now always looked perfect.

Lily ran her hand gently through Honey's hair. "I can't see any signs of hair loss. Your hair is very thick, Honey, so it's unlikely to show very much, though I would mention it to your endocrinologist when you next see her. I think it's unlikely to be a long-term problem though. If, as I suspect, your medication is not working, you won't be taking it long-term, or at least not in such quantities."

"Ethan was going to tell me about the other treatments," said Honey. "But he never quite got round to it."

Worry came into Lily's eyes. "Would you like me to tell you about it?" she asked, but she didn't sound as though she particularly wanted to do it.

"That's okay," said Honey. She guessed Lily's reservations were due to the fact she didn't know very much about it. Even once you were on the registration thingy, you obviously didn't know everything. Not if you still needed to use google. "Ethan can tell me another time."

"Okay, but I really think he ought to tell you soon," said Lily seriously.


	49. Chapter 49

**Tanith Panic** , have you seen Honey's car with eyelashes? It's amazing! I hope this Honey is nicer than the other Honeys I've written about, but I don't think I could write a Honey who isn't an airhead! Cal might be able to think of a few occasions when Ethan wasn't a sweetheart! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , losing your hair is horrible, especially when you haven't been warned about it. When you see the hair that's fallen out, there always seems to be a lot more than there actually is. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. It's probably a good thing all Honey's friends are doctors or nurses, though there's only so much they can do without equipment. I think any changes to Honey's appearance would terrify her!

* * *

"How are you?" said Robyn, giving Honey a hug. "You look great as always! That colour's lovely on you."

"Thanks," said Honey. "You look good too. Your hair looks nice. How was your date with Cal?"

Robyn smiled dreamily. "It was perfect! He said he was taking me dancing, so I assumed he meant clubbing, but we went to this ballroom place! Cal's an amazing dancer. I found it quite difficult at first, but Cal didn't seem embarrassed at all. He just kept staring at me like I was the most amazing dancer he'd ever seen. But he did help me get better, and at the end of the night, went outside and Cal started dancing and I danced with them, all the steps I'd learned..." Robyn gave a dreamy sigh. "It was so romantic."

Louise rolled her eyes. "Seriously, she talks about nothing but Cal. She's the same at work. Rita's even made this new rule: don't mention the C-word in front of Robyn."

Lily looked very shocked. "The C-word should never be mentioned in the hospital in any context!"

"Not _that_ C-word!" said Louise. "Cal. Or Caleb. Both words are banned."

"He really is so lovely!" said Robyn. "We did lifts and everything. We weren't supposed to do lifts and I told Cal he mustn't because I'm much too heavy, but he kept lifting me off my feet and spinning me round and he even held me above his head once! He said I was light as a feather - which I'm obviously not: not at all –but he was smiling and he looked like he really believed it."

"You see what we're letting ourselves in for?" said Louise.

Honey laughed. "Cal's just the same. I was on the phone to Ethan yesterday and Cal came up and started talking about how lovely you are, Robyn. Ethan kept telling him he was on the phone, but Cal didn't seem to hear. He just kept on and on about how beautiful you are and how sparkly your eyes are and how your hair is like amber and it's so soft and he doesn't know how you look so sexy in pigtails and he loves pulling on them, only not enough to hurt you because he'd never do that… he just went on like that for ages and ages!"

"So, you really think he likes me?" said Robyn. Honey had to admit that Cal definitely had a point about Robyn's sparkly eyes.

Honey wondered if her eyes were sparkly. Ethan had never mentioned it, even though she used drops to make her eyes sparkle more.

Louise looked unconvinced. "I don't know. That boy will say anything to get into a girl's panties."

Robyn looked hurt. "Cal has barely even mentioned my panties. You're just jealous, Louise."

"Jealous?" said Louise. "If I'm jealous of anyone, it's Honey. Obviously." She looked quickly at Honey. "But not _that_ jealous. I don't think Ethan's really right for me. I need someone who can stand up to me a bit. Ethan's looks and Cal's personality would be perfect."

"I think if he is telling Ethan about it, he certainly means it," said Lily firmly, and changed the subject. "We should go now if we want to get some shopping done before lunch."

"Wait: I promised Cal I'd text to tell him I'd got to Honey's safely," said Robyn.

Honey giggled quietly and sent a text to Ethan telling him what Cal had asked Robyn to do, adding quickly at the end that she hated the carbimazole and she would be having words with Dr Allen at her next appointment, but Lily thought she'd be okay for now.

He phoned back almost straight away. "I'm so glad you're okay, darling. I hope you have a lovely shopping trip. While you're shopping, I have something very important to do: teasing my brother. I don't get to do it very often, so I'll be making the most of it." He paused. "Though I do hope I won't go too far. I don't want to discourage his gallantry towards Robyn and I don't want to hurt his feelings."

"Then you're a better man than he is," said Honey, hoping Robyn wouldn't know who she was talking about. "But I've known that for ages."

* * *

Robyn had been on the phone to Cal for what seemed like hours. Louise had warned her her battery would go flat if she wasn't careful, but Robyn didn't seem to have heard. "So, where are you going to take me tonight?" she asked as they walked along the high street. "No, please tell me. It'll still be a surprise. You'll just be surprising me now instead of later… Can you at least give me a tiny clue? Like telling me what should I wear?"

"I bet you anything he says 'nothing'," murmured Louise.

Robyn giggled. "That's so sweet, Cal. But please at least give me a hint. I don't want to show you up by getting the dress code wrong… oh. Cal. I bet you say that to all the girls… yeah, and I bet you say _that_ to all the girls too!"

Lily tapped her on the shoulder. "Robyn, you are on a shopping trip with your friends. It is rude to be on the phone so much."

Louise sneered. "Yeah, Lily: because you're such an expert on shopping trips and friends!"

Honey sighed. Why couldn't they all just be happy and get on? She hoped they'd all be in a better mood once they reached the bridal shop.

She knew she'd be in a better mood when she was sitting down. She was feeling tired and a bit dizzy. She stumbled slightly and caught at the nearest elbow.

"Hey: watch it!" said Louise. "Do you have any idea how much this top cost?"

"Sorry," muttered Honey, but she'd already caught Lily's attention.

She stopped walking and caught Honey by the shoulders. "Honey, are you all right?"

"Yeah, course," said Honey. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you nearly fell over on me for one thing," said Louise, rubbing her arm.

"It was my shoes," said Honey.

Lily looked down at her shoes. "That, Honey, I can easily believe. But are you sure that's all?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" said Honey nervously.

"You are being treated for hyperthyroidism," Lily reminded her.

As if Honey needed reminded. "Yeah. I'm being _treated_ for it. So I'm okay, aren't I?"

"But we already have concerns that the medication isn't working," said Lily.

"Yeah, me too. But what can we do about it?" said Honey. "Come on. We've got dresses to look at and try on and pretend we can afford."

Lily looked very closely at Honey's face. "Very well, Honey. But I will keep my eye on you."

"And I'll keep my eye on _you_ ," said Honey. "That's what friends are for, isn't it?"

* * *

Sitting down didn't help. Looking at dresses didn't help. Honey tried to smile as Robyn and Louise cavorted around the shop in bridesmaid dresses, while Lily did a rather slow and tense pirouette in the mirror.

Honey breathed deeply, but the shop was filled with perfume and there seemed to be no proper air in the room at all. She told herself it was probably just the perfume making her feel dizzy. It would make anyone feel dizzy.

"What do you think, Honey?" called Robyn as she foxtrotted over and performed a spin that made Honey feel even worse. Robyn laughed as she lost her balance and caught on to Honey for support. Then she frowned. "Honey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Honey softly.

"Are you sure?" said Robyn. "You look a bit… I don't know."

"Then I must be fine, Robyn," said Honey. "Because if there's anything wrong, you'd know what it was because you're a nurse, aren't you?"

If anything, this reply made Robyn feel even more worried. "Lily, can you come over here for a minute, please? I'm worried about Honey."

"No, there's nothing to worry about!" said Honey anxiously, but Lily was already on her way over.

She seemed perfectly calm and composed, but she had her game face on. Unless that should be job face. She took Honey's hand and felt for her pulse. "It's very fast, Honey. I would estimate 134 beats a minute. Louise, perhaps you could call an ambulance."

"What? Why me?" said Louise. "Hang on: why do we need an ambulance?"

"We don't!" said Honey. "Lily's just overimagining things. Ethan does it too." She felt a pounding in her temple and put her hand to it. "I've just got a bit of a headache. Everyone gets headaches."

Louise stopped looking annoyed and actually started to look worried. "What's wrong with her voice?" she asked in a hushed tone. "Has she been drinking?"

"Why have you not called the ambulance yet?" was the only response from Lily.

Louise pulled her phone out of her bag and did as she was told.

Robyn slipped her arm around Honey. "It's okay, Honey. It's going to be okay. We're all here."

"What's wrong with my voice?" asked Honey. "Why do I feel sick?"

Robyn looked alarmed. She pulled a plastic bag out of her handbag. "Here you are."

Honey found she was drooping against Robyn's shoulder. Her whole body felt heavy. "Can I have a drink or something?"

"No. Not a good idea," said Lily. "This is almost certainly related to the thyroid, but I think we should run some tests before you eat or drink anything. Honey, when did you last eat?"

"At breakfast time," said Honey.

"Okay, and did you take your medication?"

"Of course I took my medication!" said Honey. "I always take my medication. It just doesn't work."

Lily almost looked concerned. "It certainly does seem that way."

Honey closed her eyes. The room seemed to be twisting and turning. She felt Robyn's arm going around her, supporting her.

"The ambulance is on its way," reported Louise. Lily thanked her crisply.

Robyn got out her phone. "I'll call Cal."

Louise glared at her. "I know this is a bit outside your experience, Robyn, but having a boyfriend does NOT mean you have to update him every time something happens. That's what twitter's for."

"Actually, I was going to ask Cal to break the news gently to Ethan," said Robyn with dignity.

The long silence from Louise was probably as good as a fervent apology from anyone else.


	50. Chapter 50

**ETWentHome** , I've read a couple of stories about Cal and Robyn and I think they're sweet together. Robyn deserves to be happy so let's hope Cal behaves himself! And let's also hope Honey tells the truth! Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , Robyn is very lucky - but I think Cal's very lucky too. Robyn's beautiful and really lovely and she won't be after his money. Louise does seem to have missed the point of twitter! Thank you for your review.

 **lilangel1** , thank you for your review. They won't know Honey hasn't been taking the medication unless she tells them, though they'll know if her thyroid levels are high. Luckily, Honey seems to trust most of the ED doctors now.

 **Tanith Panic** , in some ways, it's probably good this has happened now rather than later. Louise needs to engage her brain before speaking rather than after. Thank you for your review. I'm really pleased you think the story's clever!

 **Sarah** , thank you for your review. I'm really glad you're enjoying it.

* * *

Ethan was talking to a patient about a very personal medical condition when Cal came bursting into the cubicle. "Ethan!"

Ethan's voice was cool. "Do you mind, Dr Knight? I am rather busy."

"I need to speak to you," said Cal. "It's important."

"Well, my patient needs to speak to me too and this is also important," said Ethan. "I'll come and find you when I've finished."

"Ethan, I'm serious." Cal sounded desperate.

"So am I," said Ethan. "Thank you, Dr Knight. I'll speak to you later."

Cal looked ready to scream at him, but fortunately, his professionalism came to his rescue. He nodded and withdrew quietly, though he was pouting as he left.

The patient started panicking he was taking too long and tried to leave, but Ethan did his best to reassure him he'd done nothing wrong. "Please don't worry about Dr Knight. It will do him good to wait for a change. I'm sure it's nothing important. It very seldom is!"

Once Ethan had finished explaining to the patient about his condition and answering his questions, he arranged for Lofty to take some bloods. Only then did he go in search of Cal.

Cal was agitatedly pacing the staff room. "Where have you been?" he demanded.

"Doing my job," said Ethan. "And I need to get back to doing it, so whatever you want, please make it quick. If it's money, you can't have any."

"Of course it's not money!" Cal looked upset. "Why do you always think it's money?"

"Because it usually is," said Ethan. "And considering you've taken Robyn out every night this week, it would be understandable if you were rather short of it."

"It's not money," said Cal tiredly. "I have been spending a lot on Robyn, but I've been cutting down on drinking. When you've got a girl like Robyn, you need to make sacrifices and I don't think she'd be very impressed if I was relying on my brother to fund our dates. But I didn't ask you here to discuss Robyn." Cal gestured towards the sofa. "Let's sit down."

Ethan stayed where he was. "If you want me to clear out for the night so you can be alone with Robyn, I'm sorry, but you know Honey's coming for dinner."

Cal looked even more upset. He put his hand on Ethan's arm. "Ethan, I'm sorry."

"What have you done?" said Ethan, but for the first time, he was beginning to feel scared. Something was wrong. Something Cal really didn't want to tell him.

In Ethan's experience, this was always a very bad sign.

"Nothing!" said Cal. "Why do you always think something's wrong? No, don't answer that. Just listen. It's Honey."

Now Ethan wasn't so much scared as terrified. "Oh my goodness. What's happened?"

"She collapsed in a bridal shop. They've called an ambulance and she's on her way here."

"Oh God…" Ethan was shaking. He went to sit on the sofa but got up again almost immediately. "When you say collapsed…"

"Honey became dizzy and nauseous," said Cal. "She was tachycardic and dysarthic, though her speech is fine now."

Ethan tried to sit down again, but the sofa wasn't there and Cal grabbed hold of him.

"It's okay. I've got you." Cal helped Ethan to the sofa and sat beside him. "You know it's probably nothing."

"It's hardly nothing, Caleb!"

"I mean, it's probably nothing life-threatening," said Cal. "It's probably just her thyroid. Nothing that hasn't happened before."

"I know, but I'm scared," said Ethan, his voice shaking. "Why aren't the tablets making her better?"

Cal put his arm around him. "You know they don't always work. It probably means she needs radio iodine therapy or an operation. It won't be much fun for Honey, but she can get through this. You both can."

"But we were going to have a baby," said Ethan hoarsely.

"I know," said Cal. "And you still can. You'll just have to wait a bit longer."

Ethan nodded. He said nothing for a moment, staring down at his hands. "When will she get here?"

"Robyn's going to call me," said Cal. "I'll come and get you as soon as she does."

"Right." Ethan stood up, but he felt as though he might fall. He held tightly to the arm of the sofa. "I'd better get back to work."

Cal shook his head. "I don't think you're in any state to work, Ethan. You wait here. I'll deal with your patients."

Ethan would normally have argued, but he couldn't seem to find the strength. He half-fell back onto the sofa. He heard his voice telling Cal about his patients, giving details of their symptoms and medical history. It felt as though someone else was speaking.

"Okay. I'll see to it," said Cal. He looked up as footsteps were heard. "Lofty, you couldn't make Ethan some tea, could you? Honey's being brought in. He's worried. I need to go and see to his patients."

"Yeah, sure," said Lofty at once. "I'm on my break now anyway so I've got plenty of time." He came over to Ethan. "I'm sorry about Honey. She's having a really tough time, but we're all here for both of you, okay? I'll go and make your tea."

"Thank you." Ethan's voice was soft.

"No problem," said Lofty. "Cal, you go ahead and go back to work if you need to. Ethan will be fine with me."

"Thanks, mate." Cal gripped Ethan's arms. "You stay with Lofty, okay? I'll come and find you as soon as I hear anything."

Ethan was halfway through his tea when Cal burst into the staff room. "She's here, Ethan. She's just outside."

Ethan stared at Cal in a panic, but Lofty gently took the mug from him and spoke soothingly. "It's okay, Ethan. You're okay. Just go with Cal and you can see Honey."

Ethan nodded shakily, then he got to his feet and ran towards Cal.

"Hey. Whoa. Slow down," said Cal, catching his arms. "We've got time. They're not quite here yet. Come on."

For once, Ethan made no objection to Cal's arm around his shoulders. They hurried out of the staff room and towards the entrance.

"Cal. Ethan. Have either of you got a minute?" said Rita.

"No. Sorry, Rita. Honey's been brought in," said Cal.

"Okay, that's fine," said Rita in her professional voice. Then she allowed her concern to show as she placed a hand on Ethan's arm. "I hope she's okay, Ethan. I really do."

"Thank you, Rita," said Ethan quietly.

"Yeah, thanks. We'll let you know as soon as we can," said Cal, as he hurried Ethan away.

They were near reception when the doors opened. Ethan felt a wave of dizziness when he saw Honey in a wheelchair and was grateful again for Cal's supporting arm.

Cal stepped forward. "Okay, Dixie: what have we got?"

Ethan looked down at Honey, Dixie's words going right over his head. Honey looked so small and fragile. As their eyes met, she gave a faint smile and Ethan felt his heart turn over. When she held out her hand, he took it in his own at once. "I'm here, Honey. I'm here. I love you."

"I love you too," murmured Honey. "I'm scared, Ethan."

"I know, sweetheart. But I'm here," said Ethan. "I'm right here and I'm not leaving you."

"Thanks, Dixie. We'll take it from here," said Cal.

"I'll take the wheelchair," said Lily's firm voice and Ethan realised she, Robyn and Louise had been following the wheelchair. "Ethan, you may accompany Honey. Louise, please come with us. The rest of you should wait in the waiting room. Or perhaps the staff room. There isn't room in the cubicle for all of us."

"Okay, Lily. Cubicle 1 is free," said Cal, as they started walking. His arm was still around Ethan, who was walking beside the wheelchair, still holding Honey's hand.

Robyn fell into step beside them and put her arm around Cal's waist. "Are you okay, Cal?"

Cal nodded and planted a kiss on her forehead. He couldn't hug her as he was using both hands to support Ethan. "I'm fine, beautiful. Not so sure about Ethan, but he's got me."

"I'm fine, Robyn," said Ethan quietly, Honey's hand still in his. "Thanks."

"I'm sure Honey will be too," said Robyn. She walked with them as far as the cubicle, then she said a few encouraging words to Ethan and Honey before leaving with Cal. Ethan almost smiled at the way Cal's and Robyn's hands instantly found each other.

"Will you be okay?" Cal asked Ethan.

Ethan nodded. He didn't feel okay. He was terrified and upset and he had to admit it was a comfort to have his big brother looking after him, but he was an adult and his role was to be strong for his fiancée. It wouldn't help Honey to feel secure if Ethan was clinging on to Cal. "I'll be fine, Cal." He smiled, and then turned to his fiancée. "And so will you."


	51. Chapter 51

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Cal does occasionally talk sense! Maybe he should have a word with Honey too as she's ignoring everyone's advice.

 **CBloom2** , Cal has found the right girl - I can't see Robyn conning him out of Ethan's money. I have to make Ethan suffer even if he's not the poorly one! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you can see Honey's point of view, even if you don't agree with it. Cal is turning out to be a good boyfriend after all! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Louise took some bloods and went to deliver them to the lab while Lily went over Honey's symptoms with her, checking they were correct.

"I suspect the problem is that the medication isn't working and you'll need another form of treatment," said Lily.

Honey's tired face up slightly. "No more meds you mean? Brilliant!"

Lily glanced at Ethan. "You haven't told her yet?"

"What? Told me what?" said Honey, her eyes going to Ethan.

Ethan didn't know what to say. He shook his head, looking helplessly at Lily.

Lily's professionalism didn't waver. "Honey, what do you know about the alternative treatments?"

Honey closed her eyes. "I know there's radio ironing therapy - which sounds a bit rubbish: I hate ironing - and an operation."

"Radio iodine therapy," said Ethan gently.

"Yeah, that's what I said," said Honey. She looked blankly at Ethan. "I don't know what it is though. I can imagine ironing being quite therapeutic if you're into all that."

Ethan tried to keep his voice steady. "Radio iodine therapy is where they give you a special tablet that brings your thyroid levels back to normal."

"In an ideal world, Ethan, yes," said Lily. "The tablet you take is a radioactive tablet. You will take it in the nuclear medicine department – which won't be at this hospital as only certain hospitals are equipped for radio iodine treatment. After you take the tablet-"

"Hang on: _what_?" said Honey. She was gripping Ethan's hand more tightly. "Did you say radioactive? And nuclear? Isn't that like-"

"It's not as frightening as it sounds," said Ethan quickly. "It's just… the words that are used to describe it."

"But will I like, explode and that?" said Honey.

Ethan shook his head. "Absolutely not. The tablet won't affect any part of your body other than your thyroid." He avoided looking at Lily. "Ideally, it will destroy the part of your thyroid that's working too hard and the rest of it will continue to function as normal."

"Ideally?" said Honey. She was shaking now. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Has your endocrinologist not explained this to you?" said Lily.

Honey shrugged. "I don't know really. I was so upset she wouldn't give me more tablets, I didn't really listen."

Lily looked impatient, but Ethan spoke as soothingly as he could. "It's all right, Honey. It is very upsetting seeing a specialist and it's quite understandable if you forget things. When I say 'ideally', I mean it's possible that the tablet will destroy more or less of the thyroid than we want it to. But that's okay. If too much is destroyed, you can take a medication called thyroxine that will bring your thyroid levels up to normal. So it won't matter. Some people have no thyroid at all, but because they're taking the thyroxine, they're okay."

"Wait: this thyrockchick thing," said Honey. "Did you say it's a tablet?"

Ethan hesitated. "Yes, it is a tablet, but it's much gentler on your stomach than propranolol and carbimazole - and you'll only have to take one a day, usually at bedtime."

Honey didn't look completely convinced, but she let it go for now. "And if it doesn't take enough of my thyroid?"

"Either they can give you another iodine tablet or they'll suggest surgery," said Ethan. "If the thyroid is removed, then again, thyroxine will be prescribed."

Lily gave him a sharp glance, no doubt thinking that thyroxine didn't always solve the problem, but Ethan didn't want to overload Honey with information, especially not when she was so unwell.

"Don't worry," said Ethan. "It's more common than you might think and it's a lot safer than it sounds. And I'll be with you the whole time."

He felt guilty as Lily gave him another glance. There was more to it than that, of course, and it would greatly affect the extent to which Ethan would be 'there' for Honey, but he didn't want to tell her any more now.

"I have one further question, Honey," said Lily.

Ethan gave her a grateful glance, relieved she'd passed over the details of radio iodine therapy for now. It was something he'd almost certainly have to explain if the tablets weren't working, but it could wait.

"Honey, please be honest with me. Have you been taking all your tablets every day?" asked Lily.

Honey looked scared, then guilty. She dropped her head.

"Honey? Haven't you been taking them?," said Ethan anxiously. "You can tell us We won't be angry. We just want to help you."

Honey started to cry. "They don't work, Ethan! They make me feel worse, not better. I have been taking them most days, but some days I just want to have my life back. I want to be with my friends and enjoy myself. I did only take half yesterday because it says don't stop taking them suddenly, but I take them all every other day. I promise, Ethan. I just wanted to feel okay."

Ethan put his arms around her and held her close. He felt tears threatening to fill his eyes too. "It's okay, Honey. I understand. We both understand." His eyes desperately sought Lily's, silently pleading with her.

"Yes, I understand," said Lily. "But you do need to take them, Honey. We can be fairly confident they're not working because we've seen you every day, but we won't have an exact measurement of your thyroid levels unless you can stay on the same dose continuously. I'm afraid your endocrinologist might have no choice but to ask you to remain on this same dose for a few more weeks."

"A few more weeks?" wailed Honey. "Please don't make me stay on them a few more weeks. I can't take any more of this, Ethan, tell her!"

Lily looked severe. "It's clear you can't cope _without_ them."

"Can't I just say I have been taking them?" said Honey. "It's not really a lie. We're just like, saving time by helping her to come to the right answer."

Ethan squeezed his eyes shut. He wished they could do that. He so wished they could.

"No. It is always imperative that you tell your doctors the truth," said Lily. "And I'm pleased you were honest with us. However, as Ethan and I are doctors and have observed you almost in a day-to-day basis, I will say in my report that Dr Hardy and I are both of the opinion that the carbimazole is not controlling your hyperthyroidism and additionally, that the propranolol has failed to reduce your heartrate. I can't promise they will listen to the recommendations of doctors in emergency medicine, but we will do our best."

"Yes, we can do that," said Ethan gratefully.

"But you can't lie for me?" said Honey. She was still crying, though quietly now.

"I'm sorry," said Ethan. "But I will support whatever Lily writes in her report and if you let me to go to your next appointment with you, I'll tell Dr Allen that, in my opinion, the carbimazole is not working and as you've been in such discomfort, it might be worth looking into other treatments."

Lily caught his eye. "Then you need to explain to Honey exactly what the radio iodine therapy entails."

"Yes," said Ethan, in a voice of deep sadness. "I do."

* * *

Ethan felt close to tears as he walked to the staff room to have a short break before continuing with his shift. He knew, of course, that there were many people with much worse conditions than hyperthyroidism, but that was the condition affecting his fiancée and she was the most important person in his life.

He was about to go into the staff room when he heard Cal's voice.

"I just wish there was something I could do, Robyn!"

Robyn's voice was gentle. "Cal, I know you help them a lot. I've seen you supporting them and I'm sure it helps."

Cal heaved a loud sigh. "He's my little brother, Robyn. It's hard for anyone watching someone they love going through that, but Ethan takes things especially hard. He's a doctor. His job is to cure people. He can't cure Honey. He feels guilty for not being able to do anything and I don't know how to make him feel better."

Ethan walked into the staff room, not wanting to eavesdrop, but he walked straight out again once he realised Cal and Robyn were kissing. He decided to walk up the corridor and come back and hope they'd finished.

He had to admit he felt even more guilty now. He was not only failing to make Honey feel better, he was upsetting Cal. Ethan stopped walking and leaned his head against the wall. He was grateful to Cal for wanting to help, but he knew there wasn't really anything he could do. Ethan was the only person who could do anything.

He had to be stronger. He had to take more responsibility. He had to stop letting this get to him and if it did, he had to protect Cal from that.

Having reached this decision, he turned round and returned to the staff room. To his relief, he heard voices rather than kissing.

"Robyn, I'm so glad I've got you. I don't think I could cope if I didn't. I know we haven't been together for long, but it's long enough for me. I love you, Robyn. You always know how to make me feel better and I can only hope that I do the same for you."

"Well, you made me feel amazing just then!" said Robyn. "I love you too, Cal."

When Ethan walked into the staff room, they were kissing again.


	52. Chapter 52

**CBloom2** , I think there's a very good chance something will give for Ethan! It must be really difficult for Ethan, being a doctor and knowing more about Honey's condition than Honey does and wondering what and when to disclose. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , it's fine to laugh at Honey for getting words wrong - I'm sure you do it in an affectionate way! Nuclear medicine is not only a scary term, it's something I can't let Honey mispronounce or rename. I can imagine her doing it in an innocent way, but as a writer, I can't put it in the story. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I agree that Honey would never have confessed voluntarily, but I didn't think she would lie to her fiancé and one of her best friends. I'm glad you like Cal and Robyn. He's a lucky man. I just hope he knows that!

* * *

Honey sat in the endocrinology waiting room, with Ethan on one side of her and Noel on the other. She was looking at her phone, reading the good luck message and picture Cal and Robyn had sent her. They'd both wanted to be there for the appointment, but Connie had said she needed them both and she knew what waiting times could be like in Outpatients.

Ethan squeezed Honey's hand, which he was holding in both of his. "I'm sure it won't be long now, sweetheart."

"At this rate, we might as well have had our baby first," said Honey. "We've almost had time."

Ethan kissed her cheek. "It does seem a bit like that, doesn't it? But I hope the wait is almost over now."

Honey knew there was no guarantee of that. Ethan had explained (very regretfully) that Dr Allen would probably want to give her another two weeks on the horrible medication to make up for the days she'd missed. Then she might be stuck on a waiting list for months while she waited to have radio ironing therapy or an operation.

But Honey tried not to think about that. She was trying not to think at all. Not thinking, she always said, came as naturally to her as breathing, but maybe Ethan's insistence on thinking everything through was catching. She hadn't forgotten the conversation in the hospital, when Lily had been so insistent that Ethan should explain the different treatments to Honey, but it was only now that she realised Ethan hadn't actually explained anything. They'd spent a lot of time together over the past few days, most of it in Honey's bed (though not like _that_ : Honey had attempted to seduce him once or twice, but Ethan had said he couldn't consider it when she was so ill), but rather than talking about the treatment, he'd spoken about how happy they'd be after the treatment, when they finally got married and had the children they wanted.

Ethan thought two or three kids would be perfect and he hoped they would have boys and girls. Honey quite liked the idea of a big family (poor Ethan had looked so terrified when she'd said that), but she wanted mostly girls so she could do their hair and nails and stuff.

Honey leaned her head against Noel's shoulder and tried to concentrate on her lovely future babies. "Dad? Are you looking forward to being a grandad?"

Noel smiled. "Well, it does seem quite odd to be a grandad already when I've only been a dad for a year, but yeah, I'm looking forward to it. It would make me very proud."

"If you could choose the names for your grandkids, what would you choose?" said Honey.

"Oh, I think that's up to you," said Noel. "But I wouldn't say no to a grandson called Noel."

"Noel Ethan Hardy, we thought," said Honey.

"Or Noel Caleb Hardy," said Ethan.

"They both sound good to me," said Noel.

"What about girls?" said Honey. "Ethan likes 'Matilda'. That was his mum's name. Cal suggested 'Marmalade'. He's really annoying sometimes. I really like precious stone names, but not Amber or Jade or Ruby. I'd like something a bit less common like maybe Amethyst or Aquamarine. I think those names are really pretty. What do you think, Ethan?"

"Um… yes, we can certainly add them to the list," said Ethan.

Honey hugged him. "Just think, Ethan. In another hour, I should be off the tablets and then I'll go and get radioactified and then we can go to bed and make babies!"

She wasn't particularly surprised when Ethan went red, but she hadn't expected him to look quite so horrified.

Noel's look of horror was slightly more expected. "Honey, I told you, there are some things-"

Ethan spoke at the same time. "Honey. Listen. There's something-"

They both stopped speaking and looked at each other, probably preparing for the whole 'after you' routine, but before either of them could speak again, they heard another voice.

"Honey Wright?"

Ethan squeezed Honey's hand. "Do you still want me to come in with you?"

"Of course I do!" said Honey. "How am I meant to understand things if you're not there?"

Honey hugged Noel goodbye and she and Ethan went into Dr Allen's office. She had Honey's file open in front of her and Honey gulped slightly as she saw the piece of paper on top was from Holby ED. She was really hoping that had got stuck in an in-tray somewhere.

"Okay, Honey," said Dr Allen, once she'd checked Honey's pulse and blood pressure and asked how she was feeling, and Honey had made it very clear that the tablets were killing her, "let's deal with your admission to the ED first. It is very important that you take your medication and your decision to do so not only put your health at risk, it means that the blood tests you had a couple of days ago aren't any use to us as they're not giving us the full picture."

"I'm sorry," said Honey. "I just wanted to enjoy my engagement party."

"Of course you did," said Dr Allen. "But can you see now why it wasn't a good idea?"

Honey nodded, tears coming to her eyes. "Yeah. I am sorry."

Ethan reached for her hand and held it tightly.

"How about we concentrate on the future now," said Dr Allen. "It would be usual, in these circumstances, to keep you on the medication for another two to three weeks before considering other options. This would enable up to obtain more accurate blood results. But as your reaction to the medication does seem very severe, and as your heartrate is a particular cause for concern, I think it might be worth putting you on the waiting list for radio iodine therapy immediately."

Honey gasped. "Really?"

"There is a waiting list," Dr Allen warned her. "It won't happen straight away. You'll stay on your medication in the meantime and we'll continue to monitor you. If there is a marked improvement in both your side effects and a reduction in your thyroid levels and heartrate, then I'll remove you from the waiting list. If there is no improvement, you'll reach the top of the waiting list a bit sooner than you would have done if we'd waited."

"Thank you: that sounds really good," said Honey.

Dr Allen nodded. "Radio iodine therapy does sound like the best option for you, Honey. But I do need to make sure you're fully aware of how your life will change as a result."

"Well, I know it's going to make my life better," said Honey.

"Eventually, yes, we would hope so," said Dr Allen. "A week before the treatment, you'll need to stop taking the propranolol and carbimazole, but I don't expect that to be too much of a problem for you."

Honey saw the slight smile on the doctor's face and laughed. "Yeah, I'll be following your advice very closely on that one!"

"That's good to hear," said Dr Allen. "There are also a few rules concerning your diet, but I'll go over these with you nearer the time. It's nothing drastic. After the treatment, it will take a while for your thyroid levels to settle down. If your body is still producing too much thyroxine, it's possible you'll feel much the same as you did before you started taking the tablets, though you probably won't feel quite as ill as you did. If your body is producing too little thyroxine, you will have acquired what is known as an underactive thyroid, or hypothyroidism."

"Isn't that what I've got now?" said Honey, confused.

Dr Allen smiled. "I'm afraid the two conditions do sound very similar. If the thyroid is working too hard, that is hy _per_ thyroidism. Like hyperactive. If you're hyperactive, then you have too much energy. If your hyperthyroidic, you have too much thyroid hormone. If the thyroid isn't working hard enough, it's called hy _po_ thyroidism, like a hypodermic needle, which we would use very slowly so we don't stab you in the wrong place."

"Ethan got stabbed by a needle once," said Honey. "He thought he might have AIDs, but he didn't."

"That must have been a relief," said Dr Allen. "You two haven't had much luck between you. But you'll both understand why a hypodermic needle has to be injected slowly into the skin – and with hypothyroidism, the thyroid works very slowly."

Honey nodded. She wasn't sure she'd quite got it sorted, but she thought she might understand if Ethan explained it enough times.

"We hope the end result will be good," said Dr Allen, "but you will have to take certain precautions after the treatment. I'm afraid it won't be easy, but most people find it easier than they're expecting. Although the radiation won't harm you, there is a small risk to other people. You'll need to avoid physical contact for two weeks after the treatment and try to stay at least a metre away from other people, particularly children. You'll also need to be off work for a while – as you work as a barista, serving food and quite likely being in contact with children and pregnant women, I would advise staying away from work for four weeks. There are a few more things, but it's a lot to take in at once, so I'll give you some information to look through and then if you have any questions, you can ask them at your next appointment."

Honey gulped slightly at the idea of no physical contact, but she decided she'd just have to cope. She'd miss touching Ethan, but it had to be better than the way things were now. "I'm sure we can cope. We'll just have to stare at each other across a crowded room. That sounds quite romantic."

"There is something else," said Dr Allen. "It's all in the leaflet, but I think it's only fair to tell you myself. You've said you're hoping to have a baby in the near future."

"Yeah, that's right," said Honey. "We thought we'd get down to it tonight."

She glanced quickly at Ethan, ready to apologise, but he didn't look embarrassed. He looked terribly upset. "I'm so sorry, Honey," he said, his voice catching.

"What? What for?" said Honey.

"Because of the radiation in your body, I'm afraid it won't be safe to conceive for six months after you have the treatment," said Dr Allen. "So taking the waiting list and the pregnancy into account, you probably won't be a mum for another eighteen months. I'm very sorry, Honey, but I'm sure you'll agree the baby's health must come first."


	53. Chapter 53

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I agree - Honey will appreciate her baby more when it comes, partly because she had to go through so much and partly because she'll be physically and emotionally in better shape. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , I'm really glad you can sympathise with Ethan's decision not to tell her - he would have hated to have been the one to deliver news like that to the woman he loves. She's not just another patient! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm sorry for upsetting you! I definitely have airhead and selfish moments. More than just moments! The funny thing about Amethyst for me is that I imagine Ethan to be very traditional. Thank you for your review.

* * *

"I'm not doing it!" said Honey, with tears in her eyes. "I told Dr Allen and I'm telling you. You can't do this without my consent and I'm not giving it! I am going to stop taking those stupid tablets and we're going to have our baby and THEN we can think about my butterfly."

Ethan tried to take her hand. "Honey, please listen."

"I've already listened!" wailed Honey. "And I don't like what I heard, okay? So I'm not having it. I don't want it. Don't try to talk me into it, Ethan. It will just be a complete waste of time!"

"Would it really be that bad to wait eighteen months?" said Ethan.

Honey swiped at her eyes. "I thought you wanted a baby, Ethan!"

"Of course I do," said Ethan. "But before we can have a baby, I want a healthy wife."

"I am healthy!" said Honey, aware she was lying, but she was sure she was healthy enough to have a baby. "What's wrong with having the radiator therapy after the baby is born?"

"Well, for one thing, after you've had the radio iodine therapy, it won't be safe for you to be around babies and young children," said Ethan. "You wouldn't be able to hold or cuddle our child."

The thought was like a physical pain, but Honey didn't want to back down now. "They can cuddle with their daddy then, can't they!"

"Yes… yes, of course, but… please listen, Honey."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore!" cried Honey. "Why don't you just go home, Ethan?"

Hurt flashed across Ethan's face. "I don't want to leave you on your own when you're upset."

Honey flung her hands in the air. "I'm not on my own, Ethan! My dad's here, isn't he?"

"Okay," said Ethan softly. "Okay, sweetheart. I'll go. I hope to talk to you later, Honey."

"Goodbye," said Honey. She knew she was behaving horribly. She didn't even want Ethan to go. But she was devastated and she couldn't help thinking that if she hadn't been with Ethan, she wouldn't have thought she was pregnant and then she wouldn't have realised how much she wanted to be a mum.

"Goodbye," said Ethan unsteadily. He held out his arms, but Honey looked the other way. He stayed where he was for a moment, then Honey heard him hurrying out of the room.

She waited till she'd heard the front door close, then she stopped fighting the tears that kept trying to fill her eyes. She let them pour down her face in a long stream and lifted her face to the ceiling. She screamed once, then she collapsed onto the bed in paroxysms of tears.

"Honey?" Over the sound of her sobs, she heard Noel's voice. She heard footsteps, then she felt his arms around her, lifting her onto his lap. "What is it love? What's happened?"

He waited, but Honey couldn't have replied even if she'd wanted to.

"It's okay, love," said Noel as he rocked her gently. "You can tell me later. Don't worry about telling me anything now. But it's going to be okay. I'm here and I love you and I'm always going to look after you because that's my job."

"I thought you were a receptionist," sniffled Honey.

"Yeah, but first and foremost, I'm your dad." Noel's voice hardened. "And if it's Ethan who upset you, he's not going to get away with this. Don't worry."

* * *

Ethan closed the front door behind him and walked towards his room, hardly aware of the voices coming from the direction of the living room.

"Oh my God!" That sounded like Robyn. "Is that Ethan? Oh my God! You said he was staying at Honey's!"

"That's what he told me," said Cal. "But it's okay, Robyn. Don't worry."

Robyn sounded panicked. "Where's my bra?"

"I think I threw it over my shoulder somewhere," said Cal. "Here it is. Now, don't worry. All we're doing is something completely normal that all adults do. Even Ethan does it. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Ethan couldn't even feel horrified. He went to his room and shut the door behind him. He took off his glasses and lay on the bed, waiting for the tears that had been threatening all the way home (once or twice, he'd been so concerned by his blurred vision, he'd questioned whether he was safe to drive), but they didn't come. His eyes remained dry as he lay on his bed, weighed down by sadness.

When a knock came on his door a few minutes later, he ignored it, but he wasn't surprised when Cal came in anyway. "Are you okay?"

"Never better," said Ethan flatly.

Cal sat on the bed. "What's up? I thought you were staying with Honey."

"She asked me to leave," said Ethan.

Cal looked genuinely upset. "She did what? Oh, Nibbles. I'm sure she didn't mean it. She's just being overemotional. She can't help it, but she'll get over it."

Ethan sighed softly. "She's refusing to have radio iodine therapy."

"What?" said Cal. "Why?"

"Because she won't be able to have a child for eighteen months," said Ethan. "She really wants a baby, but it's more than that. She feels so guilty for not being pregnant last time. She feels like she's let me down and I don't know what I can do to persuade her she hasn't."

Cal put his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "Can you talk to her? Tell her you don't blame her for anything?"

"Of course I've told her that," said Ethan. "But she's not listening to anything at the moment." He tried to smile. "But it's okay. You go back to Robyn. I'll be fine."

"How can you be fine when your girlfriend's being so selfish and stupid?" said Cal.

Ethan thought about feeling angry with him, but he didn't have the energy. "She's not, Cal. Not really. She's devastated we can't have a baby. Inconsolable. She had no idea that having radio iodine therapy would impact on her having a child so it's been a big shock for her."

He saw Cal frown slightly. "Why didn't she know?"

"Because no-one told her," said Ethan. "Dr Allen didn't go into details. I think she was taking it one treatment at a time, which is often the best idea – you don't want to overwhelm and confuse the patient. But at the same time, having a baby was so important to Honey."

"Then why didn't you tell her?" said Cal.

Ethan banged his head against the pillow. "Because I knew it would break her heart and I couldn't bear to. I kept putting it off. I kept telling myself the side effects from the medication would go or that Dr Allen would suggest the operation rather than radio iodine therapy – but I knew neither of those things were going to happen. I'm just a coward, Cal. I always have been."

"No, you're not!" said Cal. "You were just in a really awkward position. Not knowing if you should admit what you know or leave it to the professional. Whatever you'd decided, this would have happened. It must be awful seeing Honey this upset, but it's not your fault. She's going through something really awful which she doesn't deserve and anyone would have trouble dealing with that."

"I wish I could make things better," said Ethan.

Cal rubbed his shoulder. "I know. I wish I could too. Would you like me to have a word with her?"

Ethan looked at him in surprise. "Thanks, Cal. That's really good of you. I'm not sure Honey would react well to that, but I appreciate the offer."

"Fair enough. Let me know if you change your mind," said Cal. He patted Ethan's shoulder. "And if you ever want to talk to someone, I'm here and so's Robyn."

Ethan smiled shakily. "Thanks, Cal. I'm glad you're here. But you should probably get back to Robyn."

"She told me to take as long as I needed," said Cal.

"And I'm sure she meant it and that shows how incredible she is – and that's why you should go back to her," said Ethan. "You're a lucky man, Caleb. Don't mess this up."

"I'm really, really hoping I don't," said Cal.

"Then go back to her," said Ethan. He still felt as though his emotions had been through a cheese grater, but he felt a little calmer for having spoken to Cal. "I'll be fine. You've helped a lot. Thanks, Cal."

Cal looked like he was in two minds. "Okay, I'll go back to Robyn, but I'm going to keep checking on you, okay? I know Honey's had a really bad shock today, but that doesn't mean it's been easy for you."

* * *

Cal, for once, was as good as his word. He checked on Ethan every half-hour and even brought him tea and chocolate biscuits when he and Robyn got hungry. "You're welcome to come and sit with us if you want," he said. "We've got all our clothes on and Robyn did say she fancied some Nibbles…"

Ethan actually managed to laugh at that, but he declined the offer, only coming out of his room to say goodbye when Cal came to say he was taking Robyn home. Ethan saw them off and then returned to his bed.

As soon as Cal got back, he came to see Ethan. "How are you, Nibbles? Really?"

"I'm okay," said Ethan. He was sitting up now, but he felt exhausted. "I might get an early night."

Cal nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."

"I'll try speaking to Honey again tomorrow," said Ethan. "Maybe she'll feel more able to take everything in."

He saw the concern on Cal's face. "I really hope you're right."

"So do I," said Ethan. "If I can't get her to agree to the radio iodine therapy, I don't know what we're going to do. The tablets obviously aren't keeping her hyperthyroidism under control – and even if they were, Honey's not prepared to take them. Whether she takes the tablets or not, she's not healthy; she can't work – and she's certainly in no condition to have a baby."

"What about a thyroidectomy?" said Cal. "Is that an option?"

"I think Honey's hyperthyroidism is too severe for it to be advisable," said Ethan. "There's a risk of intraoperative or postoperative thyrotoxic storm. She's got to have the radio iodine therapy, Cal. It's the only way. But if she won't consent..."

He didn't object when Cal put his arms around him and held him tightly.


	54. Chapter 54

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , Cal is being a good boyfriend and a good brother - first time for everything! Honey does have Noel and I doubt she's scared Ethan away for good. Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. I like Cal and Robyn as a couple too. I think they'd be good for each other if Cal behaves himself. Ethan's got a difficult task ahead of him if he wants Honey to see sense.

 **Tanith Panic** , I love being 'fictionally' upset too. I think by the time Honey has gone through the process leading up to adoption, she'll be physically ready for a baby anyway - but they might consider adoption if Ethan is diagnosed with Huntington's. There's enough in this story without brotherly discord too! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I think a lot of people would be upset if Cal hurt Robyn, but Robyn isn't afraid to end a relationship if there's no spark. It's only a temporary delay to Honey's plans, but it's going to feel like forever - at a time where she really needs something good to hold on to.

* * *

Honey sat on her bed with her phone in her hand, wondering what to say. Sending a text seemed a bit cowardly, but she knew Ethan had started work early today.

Noel knocked softly on her bedroom door. "Honey? Are you awake?"

"Come in, Dad," said Honey.

Noel gave her a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Awful," said Honey. "I can't believe I told Ethan to get out."

Noel kissed her forehead. "You were upset, love. Ethan loves you and I'm sure he was trying to help, but that doesn't mean he's always going to get it right."

"What should I say to him?" said Honey.

"What do you want to say?"

"Well, 'sorry' and 'I love you' for starters."

Noel smiled. "Then why not say that? 'I'm sorry and I love you'. That might be all you need to say. He loves you and he's a doctor so he understands the whole emotional side."

Honey hugged him tightly, feeling slightly better now. It was so good to know she had her dad on her side.

So good to have a dad at all.

"I'm sorry and I love you," said Honey.

"Yeah. That's it. Say it just like that," said Noel.

"No, I'm saying it to you," said Honey. "I'm sorry for being so selfish and demanding and emotional. And I love you for being you."

Noel stroked her hair. "You're not selfish and demanding and anyone would be emotional after what that doctor said to you. But I love you too, Honey. I love you very much and so does Ethan."

* * *

Noel stayed with Honey for another five or ten minutes, just cuddling her. Honey didn't want to move ever again. When she kept still, she almost couldn't feel her symptoms and when Noel's arms were around her, she felt so safe and loved. It was almost as though his hug was keeping out the rest of the world; stopping it from hurting her.

"I'm afraid I really do have to go now," said Noel regretfully. "Unless you need me to stay."

Honey looked at the time on her phone. "Oh my God, you're going to be late! You'd better go, Dad. I don't want you getting into trouble. You've taken so much time off work for me already and I'm really grateful, but I'm sure I'll be okay."

"If you need me, call me," said Noel. "Is there anything I can get you before I go?"

"How about a pink kettle for my bedroom so I don't have to go all the way to the kitchen?" suggested Honey.

Noel smiled. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you look for one online today and when I get home, I'll order it for you."

Honey grasped his hand urgently. "Dad, I was joking! I can manage. Really."

"And I'm serious," said Noel. "You go online and find the perfect kettle." He hugged her again. "I love you, Honey, and I'm very proud of you. You're brave and strong and determined and whatever you do, I'll support you."

Honey was smiling as he left. She felt so lucky to have Noel for a dad. She didn't think she was brave or strong, but it was lovely to have someone who thought she was.

She picked up her phone from the bed and decided to take her dad's advice. _I love you and I'm sorry xxx_ , she typed, and looked at it. Perhaps it would be better to phone, but Ethan would probably be at work by now and he did say sometimes that it was good to have things in writing.

She sent the text.

The seconds ticked by so slowly. Honey knew Ethan was probably busy, but every second that passed made her afraid that maybe this time. she'd pushed Ethan too far and he wouldn't reply.

Her eyes filled with tears. Honey wasn't sure if she should fight them to be brave or let them fall. They might even help. Her eyes felt sore and gritty today. Tears might lubricate them.

It had made Honey laugh when Ethan had told her tears were lubricant for your eyes, but it didn't seem funny today.

Honey tried fighting her tears back, concentrating instead on her nails. Her nail varnish was chipped. Honey hated chipped nail varnish, but she couldn't find any motivation to take it off or even fill in the gaps.

She picked at it instead and gasped as a flake of nail came away with it. In a panic, she grabbed her phone, intending to call Ethan, but then she remembered he might not be speaking to her and started crying again.

What did nails matter anyway? She wouldn't have time for any of that once she had a baby to care for.

A baby…

Usually, the thought of it made her feel happy. It gave her hope of better times ahead. But at that moment, she couldn't imagine coping with a baby. She could hardly take care of herself.

Honey buried her face in her hands and cried. There was no point in anything. She didn't even have Ethan.

And then a text arrived.

 _You don't have to apologise for anything and I love you too xxx._

Honey cried even more. He was so lovely. So perfect. She was so lucky.

Her phone rang a few seconds later. It was Ethan.

"Hey, Ethan," said Honey, through her tears.

"Oh gosh, are you all right?" Ethan sounded anxious. "Do you need me to come over?"

"I'm just happy," sniffed Honey, amazed to find it was actually true. "I love you, Ethan."

"I love you too, darling," said Ethan. "And if you need me, I'll come over straight away."

Honey thought about it. It would be nice to feel Ethan's arms around her. Secure but so gentle and loving. His soft lips, comforting or enticing her. His beautiful, warm brown eyes. His gorgeous hair: always so perfectly in place when he arrived and anything but five minutes later.

"Honey?" said Ethan. "Are you still there?"

"I'm still here," said Honey. "I'd love to see you, but I'm okay. I don't want to take you away from your work." She paused and her voice sharpened with anxiety. "But you will come round later, won't you?"

"Of course I will, sweetheart," said Ethan.

Honey smiled. She loved speaking to Ethan on the phone. It was almost like he was whispering into her ear. She could almost imagine his breath on her ear; the occasional touch of his lips. "I love you, Ethan. And I'm so sorry."

"I told you, sweetheart. You have nothing to apologise for," said Ethan. "I'm the one who should be apologising. I should have told you about radio iodine therapy from the beginning. Maybe if I'd given you the chance to get used to the idea…"

Honey's lips tightened, but she told herself she wouldn't upset Ethan now. He was at work. He had lives to save.

But nothing had changed and she knew she'd have to tell him tonight,

* * *

Ethan parked the car and hurried towards Honey's door.

Then he skidded to a halt, turned, and ran back to the car.

The flowers were on the front seat where he'd left them. He'd asked for flowers that looked pretty but didn't have a strong smell. Honey usually liked to smell flowers, but Ethan was concerned that anything strong might make her nausea even worse.

He picked up the flowers and a couple of items he'd bought for Honey. He'd had to buy the flowers on the way to Honey's as he didn't think the ED would have any vases, or at least none he could borrow, but he hadn't wanted any further delays so he'd bought her other presents in his lunch hour. He'd actually been a little bit late getting back to work, but luckily, Connie had the day off and Zoe had understood once he'd explained why he was late.

Honey answered the door quite quickly. She gasped at the sight of the flowers and presents. "Oh, Ethan! Are they all for me? Thank you! I love you."

Ethan didn't have a free arm to hug her, but at least he could respond to her kiss.

Honey smiled at him. "Would you like to come in?"

Ethan was happy when Honey led him into the living room. He knew it wouldn't necessarily mean she was feeling well, but it meant she was well enough to be out of bed. Ethan thought there were probably very few men who were at their happiest when their fiancées didn't take them into the bedroom.

"So, um, I got you some flowers," he said. "Shall I go and put them into a vase for you?"

"Dad always keeps them on the top shelf," said Honey, looking worried. "I'll do it. I know how the stepladder works."

Ethan smiled. Honey knew he was terrified of heights, but she hardly ever mentioned it directly and she always did everything she could to make him feel safe. She went into the kitchen and returned with the vase, which she put down in front of her. Ethan held out the two gift bags and Honey took them, her eyes alight with excitement. Ethan hadn't seen that for so long, apart from the night of the engagement party.

Honey exclaimed in delight when she saw the new _Shopaholic_ novel and she seemed almost as excited by the chick lit book he'd picked up from the bestsellers shelf. Honey didn't read a lot, but he knew she liked the _Shopaholic_ series and she had been reading more since she'd been off work.

The other bag contained some dark chocolate and a tube of love hearts. "I'm not sure if you like dark chocolate, but it can be gentler on the stomach than milk chocolate because it doesn't contain lactose," explained Ethan. "It might be worth trying anyway."

Honey kissed him. "I will try it. Thank you, Ethan."

Ethan put his arm around her and held her as they both had a square of chocolate and a love heart. Honey read Ethan the first chapter of the _Shopaholic_ book. It was much better than he'd expected. It even made him laugh.

It was only with the greatest regret that he brought up the main thing he wanted to talk about. "Honey, I really am sorry, but we do need to talk about the radio iodine therapy."


	55. Chapter 55

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I have a pink kettle! It looks pretty and makes a good cup of tea so it's perfect. I don't think Honey will like what Ethan has to say at all. Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. Honey needs to go through with the therapy so let's hope Ethan can persuade her!

 **Tanith Panic** , I completely agree - you can never be too old for pink. Or too masculine, for that matter. Ethan is lovely - but will Honey still think that after the radio iodine therapy conversation? Thank you for your review.

 **lilangel1** , thank you for your review. I'm so glad you're still reading and enjoying the story.

 **ETWentHome** , I wasn't that confident about writing Noel at first, but I've enjoyed writing his relationship with Honey so I'm really happy you like it too. Ethan is the perfect boyfriend! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey folded her arms. "I don't want to talk about radio iodine therapy."

Ethan didn't answer for a moment or two. When he did, his voice was scratchy. "I know, sweetheart. But we need to talk about it. Or rather, you need to listen to me."

"It's my decision," said Honey as gently as she could. "I don't have to do it."

"No. No, you don't," said Ethan sadly. "But I'd like to explain to you what might happen if your hyperthyroidism is left untreated."

Honey felt a moment's fear, but she pushed it away. "It won't make any difference, Ethan."

"But will you let me tell you anyway?" said Ethan in a weak voice. "Please? You have the right to make any decision about your health that you want to make, but you do need to be fully-informed of the facts. You can see that makes sense, can't you?"

Honey felt herself tense. She didn't want to know. At the moment, her decision was easy. She wanted to have a baby and that was more important than anything else. She needed to have a baby. She needed to feel she hadn't failed Ethan.

But the look on Ethan's face made her afraid because she could tell Ethan was afraid too.

"Can I tell you, Honey?" Ethan's voice was little more than a whisper.

 _I don't want to know!_ Honey told herself, but she could feel her resolve wavering. She saw Ethan's lip tremble slightly. His hands had clenched into fists and his breathing was audible. Honey couldn't bear it. She couldn't agree to the treatment – it was impossible. But maybe she could agree to listen.

"Okay," she said.

"Thank you," said Ethan, his eyes and voice full of gratitude. He reached for her hands and held them tightly and paused a moment in thought, his head lowered. "You know that your thyroid is working too hard?"

"Yeah, course I do," said Honey.

"It's making other parts of your body work hard too," said Ethan. "It's putting particular strain on your heart, making it beat too quickly. This can cause various complications, such as arrhythmia, cardiac dilation, hypertension and even congestive heart failure and cardiac arrest."

Honey heard the seriousness in his voice, but she didn't know what any of the terms meant. She told herself they couldn't be that important.

"Some of these conditions can be treated," said Ethan. "If you develop an arrhythmia, it is likely you will be able to lead a normal life, though you'll have to take medication. If you have hypertension – high blood pressure - there are ways of lowering your blood pressure. There are medications you can take for congestive heart failure, though you do really need to treat the cause of it. But none of these conditions are easy to live with and they can also lead to sudden cardiac arrest – that's when your heart stops. You could die, Honey." Ethan's voice trembled. "And I don't want to lose you. I couldn't bear to lose you."

Honey let go of his hands and gave him a hug. "You won't lose me, Ethan. This is just temporary. Just till we've had our baby."

She heard Ethan exhale. It wasn't that far off being a sob. "You could also develop osteoporosis, which means your bones will be weaker and they'll break easily."

"I've had broken bones before," said Honey.

"But some fractures are more serious than others," said Ethan. "Osteoporosis is a serious condition, Honey. Your bones can fracture so easily. Broken bones can be very painful and they don't always heal well. You could be living with pain for the rest of your life. Even sneezing or coughing could cause a spinal fracture. Certainly to begin with, you'll be encouraged to continue working, but eventually, there could come a time when you can't work – and you're only twenty-one, Honey. Only at the beginning of your life."

"Did you say spinal fractures?" said Honey. "Like in my back!"

"Yes!" said Ethan. He moved her away from him so he could look at her. "And there's no cure, Honey."

Honey could feel her heart beating. "So it just like, happens? All at once?"

"No: it develops slowly over several years," said Ethan.

Honey felt herself relax. "That's all right then, isn't it? I am going to have the treatment. I'm just going to have our baby first. That's all."

She saw Ethan's shoulders rise and fall with his unsteady breaths. "But you can't, Honey. You can't have a baby!"

"Can't I get pregnant?" said Honey.

"Yes, you can," said Ethan. His eyes were wet. "But there are so many risks, Honey. If you have become pregnant whilst suffering from hyperthyroidism, there's an increased risk of miscarriage. You could develop a hypertensive disorder – from high blood pressure – such as pre-eclampsia. You could be in severe pain and the only way of curing it is to deliver the baby, but the condition could start as early as 20 weeks. In some cases, your baby would have to be delivered at that time. Think how tiny a baby at that stage of its development would be. It would be about the size of a banana, Honey. The chances of its surviving… I don't even want to tell you. There's also a risk of placental abruption –when the placenta breaks away from the womb. This can deprive the baby of oxygen and food and could cause the baby to be born prematurely or even stillborn. It's also dangerous for the mother. You could go into shock; you could require a blood transfusion; it could cause kidney failure; after the baby is born, you might need a hysterectomy..."

Honey was shaking. "But it won't necessarily happen, And I bet some of that could happen to any mother."

"Yes…. y-you're right," stammered Ethan. Tears began to stream from his eyes. "But the risk would be so much greater. A greater risk of losing you. A greater risk of harm to our baby. Please, Honey. Please have the treatment. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

Honey watched as Ethan pulled his glasses off and flung them aside, lowering his head as his chest heaved with heavy sobs.

"I love you, Honey," wept Ethan. "I love you so much."

He began to cry harder. He covered his face with his hands, but Honey saw tears leaking between his fingers. Honey felt a rush of emotion – probably more than one emotion – and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her as he hid his face in her shoulder and continued to cry.

"I love you too, Ethan," whispered Honey as tears poured down her own face. "I love you."

She felt Ethan's arms tighten, but he made no response. He couldn't.

"Our baby could seriously die?" said Honey.

"Yes!" sobbed Ethan.

Neither of them said anything more for a while. Ethan was crying too hard and Honey was experiencing a pain deep in her heart. Honey clung to him, partly for comfort but mostly because she knew he needed her. He loved her. He couldn't bear the thought of her risking her life or their baby's.

At last, Ethan sat up. His face was red and blotchy from crying. Honey gave him a tissue and then took one for herself. She felt raw. They sat close together, with as much bodily contact as possible as they dried their tears. Honey wanted to feel his warmth and solidness; to know he was there; to hope she hadn't messed up her relationship with the most incredible man in the world.

She wanted to speak, though she didn't know what she would have said, but her throat too much and she wasn't sure she could remember how to speak. She turned to look at him and felt her eyes fill with tears again as Ethan dabbed at his swollen eyes and took a few deep breaths before swallowing hard.

"I'm sorry, Honey," he said.

"What for?" said Honey. "For loving me more than I deserve?"

"No! I love you every bit as much as you deserve, which is a lot!" said Ethan. He reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I don't know anyone more worthy of being loved than you."

"Of course you do," said Honey, her eyes filling with tears again. "I'm a stupid, selfish cow. I'm sorry, Ethan. Of course I'll have the treatment. Of course I'll wait to have our baby. I want our baby to be as healthy as possible and I could never take any risks like that."

Ethan caught her in his arms. He was crying again. "I love you, Honey. I love you so much and you're not a stupid, selfish cow. How could you possibly have known the risks when no one told you? I should have told you before. I should have told you right from the start."

"You just hoped it wouldn't come to this," said Honey.

"But it has," said Ethan.

Honey kissed his cheek. "But it's going to be okay. I'm going to have the treatment, aren't I? I'm going to phone Dr Allen right now and tell her to put me on the waiting list.

Ethan sat back and wiped his eyes. "I'm so proud of you."

"And I'm proud of you," said Honey. "So proud."


	56. Chapter 56

**westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. Honey did do the right thing in the end, but when I had the treatment, it actually caused more problems than it solved, so there is still a lot that could go wrong!

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , it's very good Honey listened to Ethan - and also good that he finally managed to tell her. He had lots of opportunities, but he didn't want to upset her. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I agree - they were both brave in the end. I think part of the reason Ethan held back might have been because he was afraid it wouldn't make any difference. Luckily, it did!

 **Tanith Panic** , it will be very difficult for Honey to see small babies or pregnant women, but it is better this way. I'm not sure how much she understood, but I think it helped to hear it from Ethan the emotional boyfriend than Dr Hardy. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Two more sleeps. Twenty-four hours and… twelve hours and.. a few more hours. And then she'd be alone.

Honey knew she wouldn't really be alone. She would be spending as much time with Ethan, Noel and the others as she usually would. She would see them and talk to them and possibly even have a good time with them.

But they would be so far away.

Only two metres away for prolonged contact, it was true, but might as well have been a mile. Honey would be able to see them but not touch them and she'd have to be aware of that at every moment. One accidental impulsive hug from Honey and she could put them in serious danger.

No hugs. Definitely no kisses. No touching at all. Close proximity avoided if at all possible. She'd seen two different endocrinologists and she'd see another when she went for the treatment and they all gave her slightly different instructions. The leaflets they'd given her said something different again and even the various official internet sites gave different information. Honey had decided to go along with maximum precautions where possible. She couldn't risk hurting the people she loved. Or even the people she hated, for that matter.

But for now, she was able to touch people and she was taking full advantage of it. She'd stopped taking the tablets (finally!) nearly a week ago and although there were some horrible days, as there had been before she'd even known there was a butterfly living inside her, there had also been some good days. She was careful not to push herself too hard, but she and Ethan had enjoyed a trip to the cinema to see a new girly film that had come out (Honey knew Ethan had enjoyed it because he'd cried at the happy ending... he denied it, but Honey knew) and on another evening, they'd gone to the pub with their friends from the hospital. Honey had avoided alcohol and Ethan had taken her home early, but she'd still had a good time.

Honey heard Noel's key in the door and ran to give him a hug. He swept her off her feet and turned her in a slow, gentle circle. Just because he could really. Or because, after tomorrow, they couldn't. In the living room, Honey sat close to her dad, his arm around her, as he told her about all the irritating patients he'd met today. Honey rested her head on his chest and tried to remember how it felt. His warmth. His solidness. The feeling of safety he gave her. It would be such a long time before they could do this again (or it would seem that way), she wanted to remember every moment.

She felt his chest vibrate as she made him laugh. He kissed her head and stroked her hair. Honey wrapped her arms around his waist. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Honey." They were silent for a while, just hugging.

"Are you doing it too, Dad?" asked Honey.

Noel laughed. "Maybe you should explain what you mean by 'doing it' before I answer that."

"Remembering," said Honey. "No. Not really remembering. Trying to remember everything that's happening now so even when you can't hug me, I can still remember what it feels like."

"Yes, I am," said Noel. "I think you're so brave, Honey."

Honey shrugged. "I don't really have a choice about being brave. Not if I want a baby. I just hope Ethan's got a decent sperm count. I'm going to be-" Honey felt Noel going tense and gasped out loud. "Oh God. Sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to say that. It wasn't a nice thing to say anyway and I'm going to love Ethan just the same even if he can't have children, but I definitely didn't mean to talk about that kind of thing in front of you. So forget I said it, yeah?"

"Forget what?" said Noel. "You were saying how you wanted to remember every moment to help you through the next few weeks. And I was saying I'll be doing the same."

Honey's arms tightened around him in gratitude. She did say the most awful things sometimes, but she honestly didn't mean to and Noel understood that. "It probably won't seem as long for you," she said, trying to comfort him. "They say time speeds up when you get older and you're miles older than me."

"Thanks a lot!" said Noel, but he was laughing as he said it.

"Oh," said Honey. "Maybe you should forget I said that too."

Noel kissed her forehead. "Forget what?" The doorbell rang. "That must be your Ethan."

Honey jumped to her feet. The movement made her dizzy and she stood for a moment as she waited for the room to stop spinning.

"Are you okay?" Noel stood up too and put a supportive arm around her.

Honey wondered what would happen if she got dizzy after the treatment. Would everyone have to let her fall?

It seemed a small price to pay if it kept them safe.

"I'm fine, Dad," she said, and smiled at Noel.

She went to the door and answered it. Ethan was standing there, all smart in his suit, his glasses and his hair both shining in the sunlight. He smiled and held out his arms. "You look beautiful."

"You feel beautiful," murmured Honey as she held him tightly. Hugging Ethan was so completely different from hugging Noel. There was so much more to feel. The crackles of electricity that made her shiver delightedly in his arms. The smell of him: a heady mixture of cologne and his natural scent and just a tiny hint of disinfectant, which should have been off-putting but somehow wasn't. It was actually quite sexy because it reminded Honey that Ethan had been saving lives all day. Her very own superhero.

Ethan moved her just enough so he could kiss her. His lips were warm and sweet, and Honey wound her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss till she could think of nothing but herself and Ethan and what they were going to do this night and the next… and not again for a whole month. Her breathing quickened along with his as the kiss became more frenzied, and when Noel cleared his throat behind him, Honey couldn't think at first what the noise was.

When she and Ethan finally parted, his cheeks were pink. Honey knew it wasn't just due to the embarrassment of being caught by Noel.

"I'm so sorry, Noel," said Ethan.

Noel waved his words away. "It's okay, Ethan. It's nothing I haven't done myself."

"But not with me," said Honey quickly.

"I… guessed that," said Ethan. "How are you, Noel?"

Noel and Ethan had a quick chat, then Honey went to pick up her bag, and she and Ethan went out to the car. Cal and Robyn had invited them both over for dinner – or perhaps technically, they'd only invited Honey because Ethan lived there already. But it had been Cal and Robyn's idea.

"Okay?" asked Ethan once Honey was strapped in. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine," said Honey. "By my standards."

Ethan leaned across to kiss her. "I hope dinner won't be too much for you, sweetheart, but I can always take you home. Cal and Robyn will understand."

On the drive to the flat, Honey teased Ethan by referring to what they were going to do that night.

"It sounds lovely," said the blushing Ethan, "but we don't have to do it unless you feel up to it, Honey."

"I think it's you who's got to be up to it, Ethan!"

Ethan blushed even more, but he was smiling. "You have a point there."

"Two points," said Honey, sticking her chest out so Ethan could be sure what she meant.

"Now you're being crude," said Ethan.

"Sorry," said Honey quickly.

Ethan smiled. "You don't have to apologise."

Honey looked out of the window. They ought to have been at the flat by now. She frowned when she saw where they were. "Ethan, you're going the wrong way!"

"There's, um, a road block," said Ethan. "Major RTC."

"Pretty big road block," said Honey. "We're like, miles out of our way!"

Ethan parked the car by the side of the road. "All right. You've caught me. I wanted some time alone with you before we saw Cal and Robyn."

Honey's eyes widened and her heart began to beat even faster. "Ethan, are you seriously telling me we're going to… oh my God!"

Ethan looked very embarrassed. "Oh, I didn't quite mean… I know it's quiet here, but it is still quite public. But I thought perhaps we could hug and kiss a little bit."

Honey climbed onto his lap and hugged him tightly. "It sounds perfect, Ethan…"

* * *

When they finally arrived at the flat, Ethan gave Honey his arm and they walked into the building. Honey kissed him in the lift and they almost didn't notice when the doors opened. They walked to the flat and Ethan unlocked the door.

The flat was in darkness. Honey was slightly surprised and wondered if Cal and Robyn had arranged a surprise party, but when Ethan switched the light on, the flat seemed to be empty.

"Are they even here?" said Honey, looking around. "Maybe they're in the bedroom."

"Perhaps," said Ethan, not immediately catching her implication. When he did, he went adorably red again. "Oh gosh. I hope they're not."

"Better the bedroom than the dining table," said Honey. Ethan had very strict ideas about the dining table.

They stood by the door, not knowing what to do, but then they heard footsteps. Cal and Robyn came out of the bedroom, fully clothed. Behind them were Lofty and Max, followed by Lily and Louise.

"Oh my God!" gasped Honey. "It is a surprise party!"

"Not just any surprise party," said Robyn as she rushed towards Honey, her arms outstretched. "It's a hug party."

Cal nodded. "We're going to do everything we can to give you enough hugs to get through the next few weeks. We know we probably won't manage it. But we hope you'll have some good memories to help get you through."


	57. Chapter 57

**westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. I'd definitely like to go to a hug party! Especially with this particular guest list.

 **ETWentHome** , the most difficult thing for me when I had radio iodine therapy was having to sit so far away from my family. I didn't feel part of their conversations, so I didn't really talk. But at least I didn't have to worry about remembering to keep my hands off Ethan! Now that I really would have struggled with. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I love the way you analyse my stories - it makes me feel quite proud! I'm not sure Ethan can be more adorable, but I'm sure I'll keep trying. If I ever have a hug party, you'll be invited!

* * *

Honey watched in amazement as more people came out of Cal's bedroom. First Zoe and Rita, then Noel and Big Mac.

"Dad, how did you get here before me?" said Honey, confused. "I left before you did!"

"Honey, I think that's one of the questions I'd rather not think about," said Noel.

Honey gaped at him. "What are you talking about? Please tell me you didn't break the speed limit. You're too old to go racing about like a seventeen-year-old!" Quickly, she added: "But I'm not being rude about your age. I think Ethan's too old as well and he's miles younger than you."

Cal was laughing, his arm around Robyn. "We were expecting Noel to arrive later as you were going to leave the flat first. But you took so long getting here for some reason, he actually got here first. I have no idea what you might have been doing."

"We… we just parked the car and had a cuddle," said Ethan, his embarrassment somehow conveying the impression that it was actually a lot more than that.

"I bet it was a very _special_ cuddle," said Cal.

"No, I-" Honey remembered to stop. "Cover your ears for this bit, Dad. I wanted a special cuddle, but Ethan wasn't up for it."

Cal burst out laughing. "You know what, Honey? I believe you."

Robyn gave him a reproachful look.

Cal stopped laughing abruptly. "Sorry, Honey. Sorry, Ethan. That was uncalled for. I'll try not to do it again."

Honey stared at Robyn in admiration. "How do you do that? I didn't think it was possible to make Cal behave himself."

Robyn smiled. "He's lovely really. He just sometimes forgets to think before he speaks."

"How is anyone supposed to think properly when they're standing next to you?" said Cal gallantly.

Robyn laughed. "You see? He's sweet really. Now, go and hug Honey so she knows you're really sorry."

Ethan looked a bit stern as Cal wrapped his arms around Honey and kissed her on the cheek, but Cal's hands were in appropriate places at all times and the only thing Cal whispered into her ear was: "Thanks for making my brother so happy."

Honey smiled at Robyn. She really had been a good influence on her future brother-in-law.

A thought popped into Honey's mind. An amazing, incredible thought. "Oh my God! Robyn, if you and Cal get married, we'll be sisters!"

Robyn looked briefly excited, then very worried. She cast a wary look at Cal, but he was smiling.

"I'll have to remember to work that into the proposal speech," said Cal. "An extra incentive for you." He wrapped his arm around Robyn and looked into her eyes for a moment before kissing her.

Robyn looked ready to cry with happiness.

"She only looks happy because she wants to be my sister," said Honey teasingly.

Cal laughed and hugged Robyn close to him. "I know that. Nothing else crossed my mind!" He clapped his hands for silence. "Okay Our first game is called Find the Honey. We all wear blindfolds and we go around the flat and hug everyone we touch. If you think you're hugging Honey, you shout: "I've found the Honey!" and everyone takes their blindfolds off. If you have found the Honey, you get a special prize. If you haven't found the Honey, you get a special forfeit." He held up a sweet jar filled with folded pieces of paper. "This jar contains lots of lovely forfeits, compiled by Caleb Knight. My only disappointment is that I won't get to see Ethan doing any of them. Not much chance of him failing to find the Honey."

Ethan looked a bit panicked at the thought of the game, but Honey thought it sounded like great fun. She gave Ethan a hug. "It's okay, Ethan. It'll be fun. And we're all friends. It's not like Cal invited a bunch of randoms."

Lily was looking very uncomfortable. "Perhaps I could stand and watch and ensure you don't walk into the furniture. It could be very dangerous if someone isn't watching you."

"That's a good idea, Lily," said Rita. "But we'll swap over for each round. You sit out of the first round and I'll sit out of the second."

"I don't-" began Lily, a desperate look on her face.

Robyn hurried to her side. "Lily, you don't have to do it if you really don't want to. It's fine."

"No, we've all got to do it," said Louise. "There's this little word, Lily, with three letters. FUN. You should try it sometime."

"Go on, Lily: give it a try," coaxed Rita. "Do the second round like we said and if you really don't like it, then you can drop out. Same for everybody."

Lily looked unwilling, but she eventually agreed.

Cal handed out scarves and they all tied them over their eyes and started to move around the flat in the space Cal and Robyn had cleared. It wasn't a large space so there would be lots of opportunities for hugging.

Honey walked into someone almost straight away. She had no problems recognising him.

"I've found the Honey!" shouted Cal's voice.

"No, _I've_ found the Honey!" said Noel.

"Okay: blindfolds off!" said Cal.

Honey removed her blindfold. As she'd expected, she was in Noel's arms - but Cal had his arms around Max.

"You seriously thought he was Honey?" said Zoe. "Or are you just desperate to do the forfeit about keeping your shirt off for the rest of the evening?"

Cal gasped. "Have you been reading my forfeits?"

"No. Just your mind," said Zoe. "It's very easy to do."

Cal reached into the jar and withdrew a piece of paper. He groaned. " _Sing 'I'm a Little Teapot' with actions and upload it to twitter and facebook_."

Louise made a face. "I don't want to see your spout."

"Okay, where's my cameraman?" said Cal with a sigh.

"I'll do it," offered Lofty at once.

Honey was surprised. Lofty was usually such a nice man.

"No way!" said Max. "You'll only mess up the recording on purpose to save Cal from embarrassment. I'll do it."

He pointed his phone at Cal. Cal put one hand on his hip and used his other arm to make the spout. He was trying to act like he didn't care, but Honey could see a faint blush on her cheeks. Cal sang the song not particularly tunefully and everyone applauded.

"Uploading now," said Max, and showed the others when he'd done it. Everyone but Cal and Robyn collapsed laughing, but Robyn looked like she was hiding her mirth only due to an extreme effort of will.

"Okay: next round!" said Cal, obviously more than keen to move on.

"Hey: what about my prize?" said Noel.

"Winner gets to give Honey a proper cuddle," said Cal.

Louise rolled her eyes. "You couldn't even have forked out for a chocolate bar?"

"I could, but this party is for Honey," said Cal. "After tomorrow, she won't get any hugs for ages."

Noel put his arms around Honey again and held her tightly. "Best prize ever."

"You were my best Christmas present ever," said Honey. "I mean… a dad for Christmas. It doesn't get better. And soon, you'll be Ethan's dad too." She smiled as bravely as she could. "And fifteen months from now, you'll be a grandad."

"I can't think of anything better," said Noel.

"Second round now?" said Cal.

Robyn went over to Lily. "Come on – it really is fun."

Lily gave a tense nod and put the scarf over her eyes. Everyone else did the same and Honey shuffled a few paces before finding herself in someone's arms.

"I believe -" began Lily's voice awkwardly.

"I've Found the Honey!" said Lofty, his voice close to Honey's ear.

"-I have found the Honey," finished Lily, her voice close to Honey, but not as close as Lofty's.

Honey began to worry. She took her blindfold off to discover she was indeed in Lofty's arms, but Lily had her arms around Louise.

They quickly let go of each other and backed away slightly.

"Forfeit!" said Zoe.

Lily was looking panicky.

"Don't worry: I'm sure it'll be okay," said Honey, going over to her.

Cal offered Lily the jar of folded paper. Lily's hand shook slightly as she took out a piece of paper. She opened it. " _Tweet your most embarrassing drunken moment._ I do not have twitter."

"You can post it on mine if you like," said Honey kindly.

Lily failed to look less horrified. She scrunched the piece of paper in her fist and wouldn't meet anyone's eye.

"Or why not just tell us and forget about twitter?" suggested Rita.

Zoe spoke sympathetically. "If your most embarrassing drunken moment is the one I saw, then believe me, I've done much, much worse."

"I… tried to kiss my mentor," said Lily in tones of deep mortification. "He... wasn't interested."

Cal shrugged. "Who hasn't?"

"I didn't," said Louise.

"Then you'd better make a move," said Cal. "Who is he? Lofty?"

Robyn giggled. "Actually, it's me!"

"On second thoughts, Louise, keep your hands off!" said Cal protectively.

Robyn shook her head reprovingly.

"I mean, keep your hands off, _please_ ," said Cal quickly.

Robyn hugged him. "I meant that you shouldn't be so possessive, but as you said 'please', I'll let you off."

While they were all occupied teasing Cal, Honey went over to Lily. "So who was your mentor? Dylan?"

"He's left now," said Lily awkwardly. "His name was Ash. You didn't know him."

Honey gasped. "Yeah, I know Ash! Oh my God: you tried to kiss _Ash_?"

Her voice came out quite a lot louder than she meant it to and Lily cringed.

"I'm sure I've tried to kiss him too," said Zoe comfortingly. "I don't remember, but that means nothing. I've probably tried to kiss everyone."

"You've never tried to kiss me!" said Cal, hurt. He glanced at Robyn. "Not that I'd want you to kiss me."

"Well, thanks a lot!" said Zoe. Her eyes flickered towards Max. "Not that I'd want to either."

Louise sneered. "Robyn, you'd better keep Zoe away from the alcohol or you don't know what might happen. You know what these old slappers are like."

"Excuse _me_ , Louise!" said Zoe. "Who do you think you're calling old?"

Honey spoke quietly to Lily. "So, what did you see in Ash? Has he got a massive package?"

Ethan had obviously overheard. He blushed. "Honey!"

"I have absolutely no idea," said Lily.

"No, not _that_ kind of package!" said Honey, laughing. "You know. _Pay_ package."

"It wasn't like that," said Lily tightly. "He asked me if I would be interested in dating an older man. I misinterpreted his words."

Robyn gave Lily a hug. "What does the silly man expect if he goes around saying stuff like that? Don't worry, Lily. It was years ago and he was quite fit for an older guy. Shall we do the next round?"


	58. Chapter 58

**westlife4ever80** , I'm glad you found the part about Ash's massive package hilarious! I don't think Lily did though. I have to admit I wish I'd been invited to Honey's party! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I would love to have a hug party. I agree that Lily is cute - not many people would say that and I'm not sure she'd agree, but her innocence reminds me of Ethan. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. Maybe I should have a hug party for my next birthday and invite all of you! I bet Lofty is very good at hugs. I think Lily probably really struggles at parties, but at least she agreed to go for Honey's sake.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I think Honey would have enjoyed a party like this under any circumstances! I agree that Lily showed she cared a lot just by showing up. It's probably not easy for Ethan either, but he's joining in too.

 _Thank you to **beckyydowling** for the favourite._

* * *

They put their blindfolds back on and started again.

Honey found herself caught around the waist.

"Honey, is that you?" whispered Cal.

"Caleb Knight, you cheat!" said Louise's voice. "I heard that. Blindfolds off, everyone!"

Honey removed her blindfold and everyone else did the same. Cal was standing in front of her, a sheepish expression on his face. "I think you should do another forfeit for trying to cheat, Cal."

"I think she's right," said Ethan, who had just rather awkwardly detached himself from Lofty. He probably didn't like the game at all, but he wasn't complaining. Ethan laughed. "Honey is always Wright."

"But I won't be for long," said Honey.

Ethan smiled lovingly at her. "True. You'll be pretty Hardy soon."

"And Ethan should get a forfeit for those puns!" said Cal. "As soon as I've done mine." He pulled a piece of paper out of the jar. " _Phone Mrs Beauchamp and say you want to quit your job and become an escort._ What idiot wrote these? Um, don't answer that." Cal got out his phone. "Hey, Mrs Beauchamp. Just letting you know I'm quitting my job to become an escort. Okay? Yes, I'd be happy to escort you any time you like. Just try to look as hot as Robyn. I have standards, you know. Okay, speak soon. Bye, Connie."

Max grabbed the phone. "I knew he wasn't really talking to her! There's no way Mrs Beauchamp would answer the phone that quickly."

"Try again, Dr Knight," said Louise. "We don't want any more cheating so I'll find the number for you and I'll hold the phone."

Cal looked like he wanted to do his usual trick of running away.

"Is that really necessary, Louise?" said Robyn. "I mean, this party is supposed to be fun. It doesn't seem right to phone a busy clinical lead to play a prank."

"How about we get the opinion of someone who's not sleeping with Cal?" said Louise.

"How about you say something a little different to Connie?" said Rita. "Like that she looks like an escort." Rita really wasn't a fan of Connie.

Louise handed the phone to Cal.

Cal was looking scared. "It's ringing… it's still ringing… it's… hi, Mrs Beauchamp. It's Cal. I'm just phoning to say I got a forfeit to phone and tell you I'm quitting my job to become an escort…" He listened. "Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow then."

Zoe looked stunned. "You've seriously got a date with Connie?"

"In a way," said Cal.

Robyn looked upset.

"No, not a date," said Cal. He gave Robyn a hug. "She said she'd got a forfeit for me too: report to her office at 8 tomorrow morning. I'm glad you're working tomorrow, Robyn, because I might need you to hold my hand."

"I'll be there," promised Robyn.

Cal smiled adoringly at her before apparently remembering he was supposed to be suave. "Ethan, you do your forfeit for the pun and then we'll move on to the next game."

Honey rushed protectively over to Ethan. "He doesn't have to. It's my party and I say he doesn't have to."

"No, he's got to do it!" said Louise.

Ethan nervously picked out a paper and opened it. He smiled. " _Kiss the person whose first name comes after yours alphabetically_." He put his arms around Honey and kissed her. "I'm glad Guy Self didn't come. Or Mr Hanssen."

"I'm sure they would have come if you'd kissed them," said Cal.

"What are you drivelling about now, Caleb?" muttered Ethan, and kissed Honey again.

Cal's games were nothing if not inventive. Unfortunately, that wasn't the same as being fun. The second game involved the girls sitting in a line while the boys donned blindfolds. The boys had to take it in turns to feel each girl's face and then write down the order in which they thought the girls were sitting. Lily opted out and offered to watch to ensure there was no cheating, but all the others agreed with varying amounts of enthusiasm.

Honey didn't much enjoy having her face pawed by Cal, Lofty, Max and Big Mac, though Lofty was very gentle and respectful about it. It was also a bit weird when Noel had a turn. But being touched by Ethan was brilliant. When Ethan had finished running his hands over Honey's face, he skimmed his thumb along her lower lip and kissed her.

"Ethan, you do know that's me you just kissed?" said Zoe.

The lower half of Ethan's face went white with horror. Max charged out of the kitchen ,where he was waiting for his turn, then hurriedly retreated, apparently remembering he no longer had grounds to object.

"Now, you behave yourself, Zoe Hanna," said Rita sternly. "That was Honey – and Ethan knows it."

"My next game involves dressing up!" said Cal happily. "It's like a race." He picked up a box from a chair and pulled out various shirts. "Girls, stand in a line. Put these shirts on, but don't do them up. Us guys will do them up for you, but we'll be standing behind you. We've got to be as quick as we can, but we've also got to be accurate. Some of my shirts have buttons missing because Ethan hasn't got around to sewing new ones on yet, so be careful."

Ethan made a sort of spluttering sound, but he said nothing.

"Okay: pick your partner," said Cal, as he stood behind Robyn.

"I would like to work with you, please, Lofty," said Lily. "I think I can trust you to be a gentleman."

Lofty smiled. "I'll try my best, Lily."

"That does not particularly inspire my confidence, Lofty."

"Sorry, Lily, I mean, of course you can trust me."

"I'll go with you, Z-" Max stopped. "Rita."

"I'm going with Big Mac," said Rita quickly.

Big Mac looked gratified.

Max looked a bit scared. "Louise, would you like to be my, um-"

"No," said Louise. She smiled at her former fellow receptionist. "Noel?"

Honey was very interested to note how big Noel's smile was.

Max went back to Zoe.

"Third choice," she said. "Wonderful."

"You do know you're not, don't you?" said Max.

"Not what? Not wonderful?"

"Not my third choice," said Max. "Or my fourth, fifth or sixth, either."

"Second?" said Zoe.

"What do you think?" said Max.

* * *

They had pizza for dinner. Honey was sitting on Ethan's lap, with Cal and Robyn on one side and Noel on the other.

Honey picked up a slice of pizza and fed it to Ethan. "You're cute when you eat."

"Are you serious? He nibbles _everything_ ," complained Cal.

"I don't think you can really complain after what you were doing to Robyn's neck just now," said Honey.

Robyn blushed slightly and giggled, but couldn't stop herself from smiling.

Ethan reached for another slice of pizza.

"You've already got one slice!" protested Cal.

"This is for Honey," said Ethan, and smiled at her, holding the pizza to her lips. "It's okay. It's the plain one."

Honey smiled and opened her mouth, but she didn't taste the pizza. She thought she must have eaten it because it disappeared from Ethan's hand, but all she could remember was those deep brown eyes, looking into hers and promising the world.

Promising a baby. At least one.

One day…

* * *

The guests left at about ten o'clock. Cal and Ethan went back to their rooms with their girlfriends. "First time ever we've both had girlfriends at the same time!" said Cal.

"You've always had more than enough for both of us," Ethan pointed out.

"I was very carefully searching for the perfect girl," said Cal. "And now I've found her." He kissed Robyn and led her into his bedroom.

Ethan put his arm around Honey, steered her into the bedroom and switched the computer on.

Honey stared at him in dismay. "Don't tell me we're going to watch some stupid football highlights."

"I thought you liked football," said Ethan.

"I like footballers," said Honey. "There's a difference. But given the choice between watching footballers in shorts and seeing you without shorts or anything else… well, I don't want to watch football."

"It's okay. I was just putting some music on," said Ethan. "For the ambiance."

Honey looked at him blankly. "What ambulance? Oh God, you haven't organised one of those paramedic strippers, have you?"

"Paramedic str… Oh, goodness me, no!" said Ethan. "Ambiance means… atmosphere."

"Good," said Honey. She walked towards him slowly and grabbed his tie, pulling her closer to her. "The only person I want to see strip off is you, Ethan Hardy. And Johnny Depp, but mostly just you."

She undid Ethan's tie and threw it on the floor. His jacket and shirt followed. She ran her hands over his chest, smiling as he gasped and shivered in response to her touch. Next, she undid his trousers, working them over his hips and down to the floor.

Ethan Hardy in his pants… how many times had Honey fantasised about that?

"Perhaps we could get into bed now?" suggested Ethan diffidently.

Honey hooked her thumbs into his pants. "You're a bit keen, aren't you?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just a bit cold," said Ethan, blushing.

"Then you're one of those modern miracles of science things, aren't you?" said Honey.

"Oh. Am I?" Ethan looked pleased.

"Yeah: you're cold and hot at the same time!" said Honey. She ran her hands through her hair and looked challengingly at Ethan. "I'm hot."

"I'm… inclined to agree," murmured Ethan. His eyes seemed to darken behind his glasses.

"So undress me," said Honey.

She stood still as Ethan tried to work out how to take her dress off. He really wasn't very experienced at that, but Honey was glad. It made her feel more special. He was so gorgeous and clever and lovely and sweet and kind and modest and adorable. He could have had anyone. He could have had Lily, who matched him in intelligence and had turned out to be much nicer than Honey could have guessed.

But he'd chosen Honey.

He was so gorgeous, a bit of light-headedness was natural, Honey told herself. She doubted she was the first girl to feel weak at the knees when in close proximity to Ethan, but not many had got into quite such close proximity as Honey.

"There's a zip at the side," whispered Honey.

Ethan fumbled up and down both sides of her dress. He probably was genuinely looking for the zip, but Honey was so turned-on, she couldn't even breathe properly.

"Under my… left armpit," she whispered.

Ethan felt under her right armpit, realised his mistake and tried the left one. He found the zip and pulled it down the few centimetres necessary to be able to take the dress off, but Honey was realising now that she didn't feel so much aroused as peculiar.

She wouldn't have thought it was possible to mix those two up. "Ethan!"

"Are you okay? Oh my goodness!" Ethan looked panicky. "What should I do? I'll get Cal. No, wait. I don't need Cal. I'm a doctor too."

Honey clutched at Ethan as she felt her knees giving way. She tried to enjoy the feeling of Ethan sweeping off her feet before darkness descended.


	59. Chapter 59

**westlife4ever80** , I think Connie will probably make Cal feel as though he's even smaller than Ethan! But he's only got himself to blame (as is often the case) as he wrote the forfeits! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I thought as Cal was writing the forfeits, they would have to be at least a little bit naughty! You are lucky to have hugged Lee - it's always good to know when my stories are true to life! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you thought Cal was hilarious. I laugh at Cal a lot - in a very affectionate way! I knew he wouldn't be able to resist trying to embarrass Ethan, so it seemed fitting for Cal to embarrass himself.

* * *

Ethan kissed Honey and held her closer to him. "Are you sure you're feeling better?"

It surprised him sometimes how much it upset him when Honey was ill. He still felt scared as he remembered last night, when she'd fainted into his arms. She hadn't been unconscious for very long, but she'd looked so small and fragile, lying on the bed. Ethan had felt so helpless, knowing there was nothing he could do but offer comfort.

He'd felt guilty too. Although the party had been Cal and Robyn's idea, it had been Ethan's responsibility to keep an eye on Honey and make sure she didn't overdo it. Keeping an eye on Honey was never any hardship – it still surprised Ethan every day how beautiful she was; it surprised him still more when he remembered she was engaged to him – but he obviously hadn't done a good job of keeping an eye on her.

Honey kissed him lightly and kept her face close to his. Ethan knew she was doing it to make sure he could see her properly and he loved her for it.

"Ethan, you're not feeling guilty, are you?" said Honey.

Ethan wondered what to say. If he said yes, Honey might feel guilty too and he didn't want that. If he said no, she might get upset.

A knowing smile came to Honey's lips. "Come on, Ethan. Just tell me the truth. I'm not going to be mad. I love you."

Ethan knew that loving someone didn't mean you never got mad at them – Cal infuriated him every day and, although he'd never admit it out loud to anyone but Honey, he certainly loved Cal. But he smiled back and kissed her and answered her question honestly, thinking (with even more guilt) that honesty should have been his aim right from the start. "I love you too. And I suppose I do feel a bit guilty, yes," he said.

Honey stroked his cheek. "There's no need, Ethan. I know you're a doctor and everything, but you're not psychic, are you? You're not going to know unless I tell you?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Ethan, more out of interest than anything.

"Because I didn't want to stop what we were doing," explained Honey. She pressed closer to him and laughed softly as Ethan reacted with an intake of breath and a big smile. "I hoped I would feel better when I was lying down." She gazed at him, an expression in her eyes that Ethan would have called adoring if it hadn't been directed at him. "But you took your time, didn't you? Just like you take your time over everything and it was the hottest thing ever, but I just couldn't stand up for that long."

"I'm sorry, Honey," said Ethan, really meaning it.

"Don't be silly," said Honey. "You're perfect. Don't you ever apologise for being you." She thought for a moment. "Though I am quite glad you're not into doing it standing up. You might have been too excited to catch me."

Ethan felt himself blushing.

"Oh my God! I love you!" said Honey. "We've been together for months and we're engaged and everything, but you're still blushing. You're just the sweetest guy ever, Ethan."

"Oh! Um… thank you," said Ethan. He felt awkward but flattered. "You're the sweetest girl ever. I've never known a girl the name 'Honey' suited more."

Honey kissed him. "But I'm not always sweet, Ethan. And to be honest, if it's okay with you, I'd really like to continue what we started last night."

Ethan felt perhaps a microsecond of confusion before he interpreted Honey's meaning. "Oh. um, yes," he said, far from averse to the idea. "Yes, of course, Honey. I was going to get you breakfast in bed, but I suppose it's only sensible to work up an appetite first."

"I've got quite an appetite already," said Honey, thrusting against him. "I'm like, really, really hungry."

"Then I'd better be a good host and, um, satisfy you?" said Ethan, fighting another blush.

Honey climbed on top of him. "I know you're going to try really, really hard."

Ethan lost the battle with the blush. But he really didn't mind too much.

He had other things to think about.

* * *

Afterwards, it was Ethan who felt dizzy as they lay in each other's arms. Ethan knew he should really go and get their breakfast, but he was still breathless and it wasn't as though he wanted to move.

Honey stretched her arms languorously, then put them around Ethan again. "That was good, wasn't it?"

"Oh, um… yes. Yes, it was. Extremely good."

"But we don't have to do that ever again if you find it embarrassing," said Honey.

"Mmm," murmured Ethan, not really understanding her words at first, but when he did, he gasped loudly and looked at Honey in alarm.

Honey laughed. "Relax! I'm joking, aren't I? I don't think I could cope if we never did that again."

"I'm not sure I could either," admitted Ethan with another blush. "And it would be extremely difficult to have a baby without um…."

Honey sighed sadly. "Fifteen months, Ethan."

"I know," said Ethan sympathetically. He wished he hadn't mentioned it now.

Honey's face was determinedly brave. "But waiting fifteen months is nothing if it keeps our baby safe."

"And you," said Ethan. "I want to keep you safe too."

"And I want to keep you safe," whispered Honey. She rocked against him and began to kiss his neck.

"You're um… you're not ready for breakfast then?" said Ethan.

Honey's lips moved from his neck to his chest. "Not quite yet…"

* * *

It was after ten when Ethan finally got out of bed. He didn't want to leave Honey, but breakfast wouldn't make itself.

Cal was making toast. "I was wondering when you were going to surface. I had a feeling you were awake, but I thought I'd better not interrupt."

Ethan refused to meet Cal's eye and willed himself not to blush.

He blushed anyway.

"I knew it!" said Cal delightedly.

Ethan sighed. "Cal, Honey and I are both consenting adults. What we choose to do in my bed is hardly worth commenting on."

Cal sniggered. "I'll tell Honey you said that, shall I? 'Not worth commenting on'? God, she's going to love that."

Ethan glared at him. "You know I didn't mean that!"

"So, it was good, was it?" said Cal, with a salacious wink. "Is that what you're saying?"

"No!" said Ethan.

"So, it wasn't good?" said Cal.

"Caleb!"

"Ethan, I'm getting confused now. Are you trying to tell me Honey is good in bed or that she isn't?"

"I'm trying not to tell you anything at all!"

Cal seemed concerned. "You know, most guys only keep quiet about it if there's nothing to talk about. If I have good sex, I want to tell the world!"

"Perhaps I'm too much of a gentleman," said Ethan. He looked sharply at Cal. "And I sincerely hope it's the same for you with Robyn."

"That," said Cal, a stern look on his face, "is absolutely none of my baby brother's business. If you want tips, you'd better go online. That's what I did."

"Last night, you mean?" said Ethan innocently.

"No! Years ago. When I was about twelve. Believe me, Ethan, I know what I'm doing."

"I'd be extremely worried if you didn't, considering all the practice you've had," said Ethan. "Though as far as I remember, we didn't get the internet until you were twenty. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to make my fiancée some breakfast and go back to bed."

"I bet you would!" said Cal, laughing, as he carried two plates of bacon and eggs back towards his bedroom. "I bet you would, Ethan!"

* * *

"So, what are we going to do today?" asked Honey, as they sat in bed together, their appetites sated.

"I've thought of a few possibilities," said Ethan, hoping he'd be able to remember them. It was very difficult to remember anything when she was looking at him like that.

Honey giggled. "A few possibilities?" She made Ethan's simple words sound suggestive. "Is that you're gentlemanly way of saying you want to-"

"It's my gentlemanly way of saying the choice should be yours," said Ethan quickly. "But I would like to do something that involves touching."

Honey reached under the bedclothes. "How about _this_ then?"

To his horror, Ethan moaned. Quite loudly.

"Is that the kind of touching you mean?" said Honey.

"Oh, um, well, I…" Ethan closed his eyes and tried to think, but Honey was making it very hard.

No. Difficult. She was making it very difficult.

"I was, um, thinking we could, um, I've forgotten what it's called now, go out somewhere," said Ethan. "If you're well enough. Perhaps a short walk, holding hands. Or light lunch in a restaurant. Or couple of hours sitting in the park. Or a film of your choice. And I hope you'll allow me to cook you dinner."

Honey kissed him. "That sounds perfect. Let's do all those things."

Ethan looked at her anxiously. "Are you sure that won't be too much for you?"

"We won't find out if I don't try, will I?"

Ethan hesitated. "I suppose we could start with a short walk and see how you feel. But, of course, if you're feeling ill or tired or faint, I'd like you to tell me straight away so I can bring you home." He framed her face in his hands and kissed her. "Please don't try to be brave. Today is about making you happy. So if you're not happy, I need to know."

"I couldn't be more happy," said Honey. "But there is one thing."

"Yes?" said Ethan.

"After we do all that, I'm going to be wanting to go to bed," said Honey.

Ethan stroked her hair and smiled. "Then that's what we'll do."


	60. Chapter 60

_I hope the medical stuff is accurate. I should know it because I've been through it, but I'm really having trouble remembering._

 **westlife4ever080** , Ethan is definitely a sweetheart! I hope he'll go on being cute throughout the story. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. That's a lovely compliment. I'm glad it was sexy without being graphic - I can do graphic if it's requested, but I would rather not, to be honest!

 **ETWentHome** , Honey is a lucky girl! And in this reality, she really knows how special Ethan is. I think it would be very easy for Honey to make Ethan blush.

* * *

It was wonderful. It was beautiful. It was special. It was perfect.

It was over.

In another few minutes, they would arrive at the hospital. Not at Holby: at a different hospital twenty miles away. The nearest hospital to offer radio iodine therapy.

Honey wished she could have had it done at Ethan's hospital. If she had to go through this heartbreaking moment, she would rather have done it among friends – though of course, even if Holby did have a nuclear medicine department with the facilities for radio iodine therapy, it wouldn't be the people she knew from the ED looking after her. But it would be easier to know her friends weren't far away.

Or was it easier this way? The more friends Honey saw, the more she'd want to hug them.

Ethan parked the car. He released his and Honey's seatbelts and wordlessly held out his arms. Honey threw her arms around him and felt tears welling up as he held her. She couldn't imagine what it would be like not being able to hug Ethan. To feel the urge; the need to be in his arms and then to remember it was impossible. Dangerous.

"I don't think I can do this," whispered Honey as her tears soaked into Ethan's shirt. "I mean, I know I've got to do it. But I don't know how."

"I know you can do it," said Ethan. His voice was firm and loving. "You're a strong girl, Honey. A very strong girl and I'm so proud of you. I know you're going to find it difficult and that's okay, but I know you can do this."

"But what about when I want to hug you?" wailed Honey. "What do I do then?"

"Then tell me," said Ethan. "And I'll do everything I can to hug you with my voice and my eyes. I'm not saying I'll manage it, but I'll try."

Honey sniffed and held him more tightly. Sometimes, when Ethan looked at her, it felt as though he was caressing her. It wouldn't be the same as the real thing, but she would have to learn to cope. "I don't know why I'm getting so upset. There's more to our relationship than touching. I like looking at you; I like talking to you; I like knowing you're just there…"

"But touching is a part of our relationship," said Ethan. "It's natural to miss it when it's not there anymore."

"It gives a whole new meaning to 'long distance relationship'," said Honey with a sob.

Ethan gave a sad sigh. "I suppose it does. But we can get through this. _You_ can get through this."

Honey's voice was muffle by his shirt. "In some ways, a long-distance relationship would be easier. I don't mean this in a bad way, but I don't think you'd be so tempting if you were a hundred miles away."

"Well, if it's easier, we could not see each other," said Ethan. "We could just skype and pretend we really are miles away."

Honey went still. "Is that what you want, Ethan?"

"Not really," said Ethan. "It was just an idea of how I could make things easier for you. And if it would make things easier for you, I'd be prepared to do it."

"I love you," said Honey.

Ethan kissed her head. "I love you too, sweetheart. So, what do you think? Would a long-distance relationship be easier? If we try it and you don't like it, we can always change things."

Honey cuddled closer to him. "I think I'd rather see you if that's okay."

"More than okay," said Ethan with obvious relief.

* * *

Honey stayed in his arms until Ethan sadly told her it was time to go inside. They followed the signs to the nuclear medicine department and found themselves in a tiny waiting room with a TV, a selection of book and (oddly enough) a fridge. In an attempt to ward off the terror, Honey opened it and had a look inside. It continued milk, bread and butter. "What's the point of that when I'm not supposed to be eating? Like they're not torturing me enough already!"

Ethan rubbed her shoulder (naturally, he hadn't let go of her) and smiled. "Perhaps it's for the staff."

"They should have it in their own room then," said Honey. "It's mean having it sitting there, tempting me. As if you're not tempting enough!"

They went back to sit down and Ethan wrapped his arms tightly around her. "We are alone in here for now…"

Honey stared at him in shocked disbelief. "Ethan Hardy! Are you seriously suggesting that we… oh my God! But every time I tried suggesting it in _your_ hospital, you always think of some excuse."

Ethan was blushing. "I wasn't suggesting we do that! But I thought perhaps we could kiss."

Honey was delighted. Even kissing was usually kept to a minimum in public – but as Ethan had said, they weren't very public now. She climbed onto his lap and kissed him slowly and deeply, relishing every sensation, both physical and emotional, as she explored Ethan's mouth. She didn't get lost in the kiss as she often did - she was too aware that this could be their last kiss for a while - but she enjoyed it. She moved her hands over his shoulders and arms and pressed as close to him as she could.

If only she could hold on to this moment for the next few weeks. If only she could still feel his skin on hers; taste and smell him.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you something," said Ethan. He reached around her and lifted his briefcase from the floor. He opened it to reveal something soft and white. He lifted it from the case and shook it.

"A shirt?" said Honey, momentarily confused, but then she realised and smiled. "One of your shirts."

Ethan nodded. "I, um, this seems like a terrible thing to say, but I haven't washed it. I thought maybe it might, you know, smell of me? I don't know: maybe that is completely disgusting. But I thought if you wore it to bed…"

"…I can pretend it's you," said Honey, overflowing with love for her wonderful, sweet, clever fiancé. "Thank you, Ethan." She buried her face in the shirt and breathed deeply. "It does smell of you. It really does." She kept hold of it as she wrapped her arms around him again. "But you don't mind if I cuddle the real thing for as long as I can?"

"I was rather hoping you would," said Ethan, smiling. He kissed her again.

This time, they were separated by a woman clearing her throat. They sprang apart and Ethan, bless him, looked horribly embarrassed and began to stammer out apologies.

"We just wanted to make the most of the time we had left," explained Honey. "But I'm sorry if we went over the top. It's my fault if we did."

The nurse smiled. "It's all right. It's natural – and while there is a limit to what we like to see in here, you didn't cross the line. You must be Honey Wright?"

Honey nodded. "Yeah, and this is my fiancé, Dr Ethan Hardy."

"It's good to meet you both. My name's Becky. I'm a nurse and I'll be giving you the radio iodine tablet later, but first, I'd like to have a little chat with you. Ethan – if I can call you that – you're welcome to join us if Honey says it's okay. It's always good if we can talk to friends and family members to make sure they understand."

Honey turned to look at Ethan. "I'd like you to come, Ethan."

"Then you won't be able to keep me away," said Ethan. He held her hand as they went into an office that was even smaller than the waiting room. Honey guessed that this wouldn't be where the actual therapy was taking place. They all sat down while Becky went through what they already knew and asked about Honey's general health (Honey said it was a LOT better now she'd come off that stupid medication).

"Are you two living together?" said Becky. "I promise I'm not just being nosy. But it important for the people Honey lives with to be aware of her condition."

"No, I live with my dad and his best mate," said Honey. "But Ethan will be around quite a lot."

"I'll remember to keep an appropriate distance," Ethan assured the nurse with adorable earnestness.

"Yeah: see you do!" said Honey jokingly, and they shared a smile.

Becky let them have a moment. "I assume your dad and his friend are aware of your treatment and the precautions they'll need to take?"

"Yeah, they know," said Honey.

"I spoke to them about it," said Ethan. "Noel – Honey's dad – has also spoken to Honey's endocrinologist. But they both work in a hospital so they had no trouble understanding the importance of following the guidelines."

"They work in the ED with Ethan," said Honey. "Mac's a healthcare assistant and he used to be a paramedic, so I reckon he knows what he's doing. My dad's a receptionist, but he's quite good at spotting people who are about to drop dead."

Becky smiled. "Medicine runs in both families then."

"Oh, not in my side!" Honey assured her quickly. "I'm as thick as two short planks. But Ethan's brother is a doctor too. So I'm hoping our baby gets lots of genes from Ethan."

"But hopefully not my looks!" said Ethan. He spoke with complete seriousness and was in no way fishing for compliments.

"Oh, stop it. You're gorgeous!" said Honey. She turned to Becky. "Isn't Ethan gorgeous?"

" _Honey_ ," murmured Ethan uncomfortably.

"I certainly can't see any need for Ethan to worry about your children looking like him," said Becky. "But about your baby… you do know that it's recommended you don't conceive until six months after treatment?"

"Yeah, I know that and it's fine," said Honey. "We want a baby, but we've got to wait till I'm better. It's too big a risk."

Becky smiled. "It must be difficult having to wait, but it will be worth the wait, I'm sure." She checked there was nothing else Honey or Ethan wanted to ask, then she said she was going to get the radioactive tablet. "Ethan, you will have to leave for this part, but if you'd like to have a few minutes together before you take the tablet, now is the time."


	61. Chapter 61

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I agree that Ethan would never let her down, but I'm sure it helped that he was able to take time off work to support her. Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , I'm glad you think their relationship looks strong - there were a few hiccups earlier in the story, but they're facing everything together now. Thank you for your review/

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. It is horrible for Honey and she's naturally very physically affectionate so she's really going to notice the difference.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think Ethan is too sweet and modest to notice how gorgeous he is. He probably just sees the glasses and his social awkwardness and lack of height and sees them as a bad thing, even though that's part of what makes him totally my type! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey and Ethan looked at one another for a moment, then they put their arms around each other. Honey had planned on kissing him and telling him she loved him and all sorts of things, but now the moment was here, all she wanted to do was hold on tightly, drawing on some of his strength and courage because she was going to need it all.

Ethan didn't speak either, but she could feel the tension in his arms as he hugged her and she could feel his slightly shallow breathing. Honey blinked back tears and wondered if Ethan was doing the same, but by the time they'd reluctantly let go, his eyes were dry.

"I'd better go back to the waiting room," said Ethan. "I love you, Honey. And you can do this. I know you can."

He kissed her – a strength-giving kiss rather than a passionate one - and left, pausing in the doorway to wave and blow her a kiss. Honey waved back and watched him go.

Becky arrived shortly afterwards with a long tube. "I know this looks weird, but it's quite simple. You mustn't touch the tablet with your hands and neither must I. So you need to take the tube, hold it to your lips and tilt your head back until the tablet falls into your mouth – go slowly just to make sure you don't choke. Then you can swallow the tablet with a cup of water, just like any other tablet."

It all sounded quite complicated to Honey, but it gave her something to focus her mind on. She put her mouth against the tube and tipped it back slowly. She felt the tablet touch her mouth and tried to open it, but it stuck to her lips.

 _Stupid lipstick_ , she thought. _That's why it's called lipSTICK, I suppose._

"No: don't touch it with your hands," said Becky quickly. "Open your mouth carefully and let it fall in… that's right. There's your cup of water: I'm afraid I can't hand it to you."

Honey swallowed the tablet. It felt slightly odd, different from most tablets, but it was no trouble to swallow it. She put the cup in a special bin which Becky pointed out to her.

"Now, if you'd like to go back to the waiting room, you can make yourself a cup of tea," said Becky. "There's a kettle on the window sill and milk in the fridge. Or if you'd like Ethan to make it for you, make sure he moves away from the kettle before you pick up the cup."

Honey nodded and went back to the waiting room. Ethan was sitting over by the window. He looked up when he saw Honey and smiled.

"Hey, sweetheart. How did it go?"

"The tablet stuck to my lipstick!" said Honey.

"I'm sure that happens all the time," said Ethan reassuringly. "Now, I think you've got to have some tea before you go. Would you like me to make it? I'll keep my distance."

"Would you mind?" said Honey. She was feeling tired and dizzy – which was understandable considering she hadn't eaten and that she and Ethan hadn't quite had their full eight hours last night. Ethan had been worried about tiring her out, but Honey hadn't been in the mood for sleeping.

She sat as far from the kettle as she could as Ethan made the tea. When it was made, he left it on top of the fridge and retreated to the opposite corner of the room.

Honey picked up the plastic cup and carried it to a seat in the opposite corner from Ethan. It was too hot to drink or to rest on her lap, so she held it in the air.

"Honey, you're spilling it," said Ethan gently.

Honey looked down at her hand to see he was right.

"It's probably because you've come off the carbimazole," said Ethan. "I know it didn't help most of your symptoms, but I think it did calm the tremors a little bit."

"Maybe," allowed Honey. "But it was still horrible!"

Ethan stood up. "I'll get you a… no, actually I won't get you a paper towel. But they're over there."

"Oh, so you're going to use this as an excuse to be lazy, are you?" said Honey.

Ethan sat down and smiled winningly. "Absolutely!"

"Maybe I'm glad you're not going to touch me!" said Honey teasingly. She put her cup carefully under the chair and went to get a paper towel. She carefully mopped what she'd spilled.

She looked up to see Ethan watching her, warmth in his eyes. "You're going to be all right, you know."

And in that moment, Honey really believed she would be.

* * *

On the way home, they kept talking. About just about everything except the radio iodine therapy. Ethan had decided he wouldn't mention it unless Honey brought it up. His job, he felt, was to distract her from it as much as possible.

So far, he thought he was doing rather well. Honey seemed quite cheerful as they discussed first Cal and Robyn's relationship (Ethan was still slightly concerned for Robyn, but there was no denying that Cal was devoted to her at the moment), then Noel's single state.

"I think Louise fancies him," Honey was saying. "I think he's a bit old for her really, but they were sitting next to each other at work for ten years. If they can survive that, they've probably got it made."

"Probably," agreed Ethan mechanically.

"And Zoe and Max: they have so got to get back together," said Honey. "I saw them eyeing each other up when they thought I wasn't looking. Every time Zoe turned her back, he was practically like, dribbling."

"Lovely," said Ethan.

Honey looked thoughtful. "I can see why he's being a bit cautious. I mean, she cheated on them on her hen night. That's pretty big. And just so you know, I would never do that. I've hardly even looked at another guy since I met you. And even then I'm literally looking at them for five seconds and thinking: 'Nice… but not as nice as Ethan'."

"Um… thank you," said Ethan. He couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Ethan, you don't think I'd actually… OH MY GOD!"

Ethan glanced in the mirror and slammed on the brakes. "Honey, are you okay?"

"I nearly touched you!" said Honey. Her voice was trembling. "I leaned forward and I nearly touched you!"

Ethan turned to face her. He had to admit he was tempted to touch her too. "There are always going to be 'nearly' moments, at least to begin with. You wouldn't have been close enough to do any damage." He smiled at her. "But it's okay. You remembered and you didn't touch me."

"Sorry, Ethan," said Honey sadly.

"Please don't apologise," said Ethan. "It really is all right." He moved his hand towards, then quickly put it back in his lap. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They gazed into each other's eyes. It was usually something Ethan enjoyed, but today, he could sense her fear. And there was nothing he could do.

"You can drive on now if you want to," said Honey. "You probably want to get on and do stuff."

There was nothing Ethan wanted to do. Nothing but hold his fiancée in his arms – and he couldn't do that.

* * *

They arrived at Honey's flat to find Noel and Cal standing on the doorstep. Honey got out and stood with her back against the car. Slowly, she lifted her hand and waved at Cal and Noel. They waved back. Honey blew them both a kiss. Noel returned it with great enthusiasm, but Cal looked slightly guilty about blowing Honey kisses. Ethan knew it was nothing to do with him – Cal had always enjoyed flirting with Ethan's girlfriends on the very rare occasions when he had one. Robyn was the one who had changed him.

Ethan came to stand by the car too, making sure he was the correct distance from Honey.

"How did it go?" called Noel.

"It was weird!" shouted Honey. "But it was okay. I feel fine. Just really hungry."

"I've made you some lunch," said Noel. "I waited for you so we could eat it together."

"Thank you!" said Honey. "That sounds good."

Ethan smiled at her. "Honey, you can get a bit closer than that. Why don't you walk towards your dad and Cal, and then I'll tell you when to stop?"

Honey smiled at him gratefully. "Okay, Ethan."

She started to walk forward. Ethan moved too so he could judge the distance better. "Closer, Honey. Keep going. Okay, you can stop now."

Honey and Noel looked at one another and Ethan could tell they were memorising the distance.

"If we go inside now, we can use the furniture and things to work out where you can sit to make sure you're not too… I mean that you're in the right places," he offered.

Both Honey and Noel looked grateful.

"Okay, Noel and Cal. If you go inside, Honey will follow you," said Ethan. "I'll come after Honey."

He really hoped Cal wouldn't make any jokes about the word 'come', but Cal said nothing. His face was serious and worried as he looked at Ethan.

When Ethan went into the living room, Cal and Noel were standing by the far wall and Honey was in the middle of the room.

"Honey, can you take two steps to your left, please?" said Ethan. "That's good. Noel, is it okay if I do a bit of furniture removal?"

"You just do what you have to do, Ethan," said Noel. "If it's going to help Honey, it's fine with me."

Ethan walked over to one of the armchairs and moved it backwards. "Okay. If you sit in this chair, Honey, and if your dad and Mac have the sofa, that should work." He moved out of the way so Honey could sit in the armchair.

She looked upset. "I can't see the TV."

"Then we'll move it," said Noel.

"Over here, maybe?" suggested Cal. He picked up the TV and carried it over to where he'd been standing. "If it's too far away, you can bring it forward when you decide to watch it."

Honey was looking slightly sad.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?" said Ethan.

Honey sighed. "I am okay. You've all been so amazing. But that just makes me want to hug you… and I can't."


	62. Chapter 62

**westlife4ever80** , it wasn't easy and it's going to get harder, but I hope she'll think it was worth it once she's got her baby. Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm sure it really helps Honey to have so much support, though at times it will be difficult when she wants to hug them and she can't.

 **Tanith Panic** , not just Honey... it happened to me too! Louise and Noel do care about each other a lot and Louise isn't the type to pretend to like someone, so it's not impossible! I'm going to try not to split Cal and Robyn. Thank you for your review.

 **ILoveLilies13** , thank you for your review - it's lovely to know you like my stories! I like yours too. I'm glad I managed to surprise you. Your dad might have the opposite problem from Honey, so he's likely to have different symptoms. I hope he's much healthier than Honey!

 **ETWentHome** , that's one of the problems with being thoughtful - it can be really lovely and make a big difference or it might just highlight the problems even further. It's difficult working out the right thing to do when someone's ill! Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to ILoveLilies13 for the favourite._

* * *

Ethan hated leaving her.

It was so long since they'd parted without a hug or a kiss. Even when they'd just been friends, Honey had often flung her arms around him, which had been absolutely terrifying, in a completely amazing and exciting sort of way.

Cal slung his arm around him as they walked to the car. Ethan tried not to feel guilty. It wasn't his fault he could be hugged and Honey couldn't. No-one but Cal was likely to hug him anyway and when Cal hugged him like this, Ethan often had a feeling it was more because Cal wanted an arm-rest than because he wanted to show some brotherly affection.

"I'll drive," said Cal.

Ethan just nodded.

* * *

"Are you okay?" asked Cal once they'd got home.

"Of course I'm okay," said Ethan. " _I_ can still hug people. I can still sit beside them. I don't have to run away if a child comes near me."

Cal looked concerned. "Ethan, just because it's probably worse for Honey than it is for you, it doesn't mean-"

"Of course it's worse for Honey!" snapped Ethan.

He expected Cal to get annoyed, but he just squeezed Ethan's arm. "But that doesn't mean things are easy for you and you don't have to pretend it is."

Ethan looked at the floor. "It seems so wrong to complain."

"Okay, let's say Honey is a Resus case," said Cal. "Maybe you'd call yourself a time-waster, but I'm going to put you in cubicles. So maybe you're not our priority, but as your doctor, I'm not going to discharge you until I've done all I can for you."

Ethan sighed. "There's nothing you can do for me."

"Yeah, there is," said Cal. "I can be there for you. You know. Big brother stuff."

"Where did you get that idea from?" said Ethan gloomily. "Robyn?"

Again, he thought Cal might be annoyed, but Cal just gave a rather soppy smile. "I think I thought of it all on my own this time, but Robyn's a very good influence. Honestly, Ethan, where have I been for the last eighteen months?"

"I wouldn't like to say," said Ethan with a hint of humour that surprised him.

Cal laughed and patted his shoulder. "That's better. That's my Nibbles. But seriously. If you want to talk or a drink or just not be on your own, all you have to do is say."

"Thanks, Cal." Ethan just about managed a smile. "I appreciate it."

* * *

It had all seemed almost fun when Ethan was there. Planning things out. A bit of furniture removal. Honey had almost managed to believe she was enjoying herself. After all, she was with her two favourite people in the world, Ethan and Noel, and it was always fun to do something a bit different. It would be natural for Honey to enjoy it.

But now he was gone and all Honey could think of was how far away Noel was. How far away everyone would have to be.

"Big Mac does know, doesn't he?" said Honey. "I don't want him hugging me or coming close to me in the kitchen when I can't get away from him. Sorry. That sounds really bad. You know what I mean. He can hug me as much as he likes when I'm better."

Noel held out his arms. Then an annoyed look crossed his face – annoyed with himself, Honey knew – and he dropped his arms again. "Sorry, love. Wasn't thinking. Don't worry. I've explained it all to Mac and he gets it, but I'll tell him about the furniture when he gets home so he doesn't get any ideas about moving it."

"I'm worried about him," said Honey. "Aren't elderly people more vulnerable?"

"I wouldn't quite say he's elderly," said Noel uncomfortably. "And you'd better not say that when he's listening. But his general health isn't too bad apart from a few aches and pains, so he won't be in any more danger than me."

Honey tried to sit up, but she was so tired. "I'm going to get a glass of water. They said I had to drink water every hour for eight hours."

"I'll get it," said Noel.

Honey sank back into the armchair in relief. When Noel returned, he walked towards her, his arm outstretched.

"No, Dad!" Honey said in a panic. "You can't come near me!"

Noel stood awkwardly, the glass in his hand.

"If you leave it on the floor and then move away, I'll come and get it," said Honey.

"No. No, wait," said Noel. "I've got a better idea." He ran into his bedroom and returned with one of his action figures. This particular one was quite large and carried a large weapon in both hands. Noel carefully removed the weapon and put the glass in its place, then he wound the key on his back to make him walk across the carpet.

Honey found herself laughing. "Aw, Dad. That's so cute! You're so clever!"

The action figure walked slowly towards her. His movements were jerky and some of the water was spilling, but Honey was sure there would be enough in it by the time it got to her.

She'd reckoned without the bump in the carpet. The little figure tripped up. He dropped the glass and the water streamed out, soaking into the carpet.

Honey looked sadly at the puddle and the fallen figure. If it had worked, it really would have been fun. But it didn't work and now they were back to where they'd started.

"Okay, maybe this needs a bit of thought," said Noel, "but I'll get there. I'll get you another one."

Honey started to cry. "I can't cope with this, Dad!"

Noel ran towards her, then stopped. "You can. I know you can. Things like this are always hard to start with because you're not used to them. But it'll be over before you know it."

"I'll never get used to it," wept Honey. "Never."

* * *

Ethan listened in anguish as Honey cried on the other end of the phone. The novelty had worn off already and she didn't know how she was going to cope. Ethan still believed it would turn out to be easier than she was expecting, but that was of no consolation to Honey now, when she was feeling so terrible.

"I just keep thinking of all these things I want to do," sobbed Honey. "Then I want to say something to Dad or he wants to say something to me and we just sort of move towards each other… but then we have to stop."

"It sounds like you're doing really well," said Ethan uselessly.

He couldn't really blame Honey for yelling at him. "How am I doing well, Ethan?"

"Well… you're remembering to do things differently."

"If that's supposed to make me feel better, Ethan, it isn't working!" shouted Honey.

Ethan leaned back against the armchair. He knew there was nothing he could say to make her feel better. "I'm sorry I'm not helping. Is there anything I can say that might help?"

"If I knew what would make me feel better, don't you think I'd have told you?" Honey's voice was loud and shrill in his ear.

Ethan had to admit she had a point. He could feel throbbing pain in his forehead and tried to massage it. "I'm sorry. I wish I was with you now. I wish I could hold you tightly and make everything all right."

"Well, you can't, so there's no point in talking about it, is there?" snapped Honey.

Ethan took off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. "I just don't know what to say… I really am so sorry it's so difficult."

"I know you are," said Honey, more gently. "Listen, Ethan, I'm going to go. I'm tired. I should probably lie down or something."

"What's wrong?" said Ethan anxiously. "Do you want me to come and-" He bit off the question, angry with himself. "I mean, I could do a visual examination…"

Honey sighed. "Thanks, Ethan, but I think I'm just tired. You know I didn't sleep much last night – and don't you dare apologise again. I _chose_ to stay awake, remember? And I enjoyed every minute of it."

Ethan blushed.

"Are you blushing?" said Honey.

Ethan smiled. "Of course I am."

"You'll probably still be blushing at the things I say when you're on your deathbed!" said Honey.

"I don't doubt it," said Ethan. He wasn't sure he liked Honey thinking about his deathbed, but at least she sounded more cheerful now. "And you'll probably make all our children blush too."

"Oh, no, I'm not going to say stuff like that in front of our kids!" Honey sounded shocked. Then she gave a small laugh. "I mean, I'll try not to. I might forget. I probably will forget."

Ethan smiled into the phone. "I'll help you to remember."

They talked for a bit longer, then Honey said she was going to bed. Long after they'd said good night, Ethan was still sitting in his chair. The end of their conversation had been more cheerful than the beginning and it was possible Honey was upset because she was tired, but he wasn't going to kid himself that this would be easy.

"Ethan?" He looked up to see his brother. Cal sat beside him and put his arm around him. "Were you talking to Honey?"

Ethan nodded. "She's really struggling, Cal. I don't know what to do."

"Just keep being yourself," said Cal. He gave Ethan's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Just be Nibbles. Be the man who makes Honey happy. The man she fell in love with and is still in love with."

Ethan found himself moving closer to Cal. "Thanks, Cal. I'm glad you're here."

"I knew it!" said Cal triumphantly. "I knew I'd get you to admit it one day." He ruffled Ethan's hair. "I know it's tough for Honey, but you're going to help her deal with it and I'm going to help you deal with it."

"I just want to hold her," said Ethan.

Cal put his arms around Ethan. "Well, I'm the closest you're going to get, so make the most of it."

Ethan pushed him away, but only half-heartedly. Not enough to break the contact. And he was smiling.

He wasn't about to say it again – at least a couple of hours would have to pass before he let the words pass his lips again – but he really was glad Cal was there.


	63. Chapter 63

**westlife4ever80** , it isn't easy for either of them, but Ethan will do everything he can to make things easier for Honey. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. You almost make my story sound like literature - I like it! There are much worse things Honey could be going through, but with most of them, she could have a hug.

* * *

Ethan rang the doorbell, then took several steps backwards, measuring the distance as carefully as he could so he wouldn't be any further away than he needed to be.

It was Noel who answered the door, but he smiled when he saw Ethan. "Good to see you, mate. Honey's really been looking forward to seeing you."

"I've been looking forward to it too," said Ethan.

He and Honey were going on a date.

Noel retreated to the living room "so I won't be in Honey's way," and called to his daughter that her fiancé was here. A few seconds later, Honey appeared, looking beautiful in a purple dress with her hair tumbling over her shoulders.

"Ethan!" she said when she saw him, and blew him a kiss.

Ethan found it quite embarrassing blowing kisses in public, but it was a small thing to do for Honey. "You look beautiful. How are you, sweetheart?" Speaking to her from a distance felt a bit awkward too. He hoped the neighbours wouldn't complain that he was shouting.

"Not too bad," said Honey. "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you – all the more so for seeing you," said Ethan. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready," said Honey.

Ethan walked to the car and opened the back door for Honey. "There you are. Sorry I can't hold it open for you."

"You still opened it for me, though, didn't you?" said Honey. "So you're still a gentleman." Her eyes travelled up and down his suit. "A very hot gentleman."

"And you're a very, um, hot lady," said Ethan.

Honey giggled. "I love it when you talk dirty. You're so innocent about it and I love it."

"Well… I love you," said Ethan.

"I love you too, Ethan."

He went to his side of the car and got in.

"Ethan!" exclaimed Honey. She must have discovered the wrapped present Ethan had left there. "Is this for me?"

"To be honest, I don't think it would suit _me_ ," said Ethan. He turned and smiled at her. "You can open it if you like."

Honey tore it open to reveal a small black case. Inside was a silver necklace. "Ethan, it's beautiful! Thank you. I wish I could kiss you because you so deserve it."

"You can save it for when you're better," said Ethan.

"Then you're going to get loads of kisses!" said Honey. "I'll have millions saved up by then." She picked up the necklace, a smile on her face, before holding it out to Ethan. "Do you think you could…" She stopped. Her face fell and her hands dropped to her lap.

Ethan spent the drive to the flat berating himself. How could he have been so stupid?

* * *

Honey hated the fact she was annoyed with Ethan.

It wasn't his fault. It was nice of him to buy her a necklace and it really was beautiful, but she'd always had trouble putting necklaces on. You really needed at least three hands – one for holding her hair out of the way and two more for fastening the necklace. Not to mention eyes in the back of your head.

When Ethan reached the lift, another look of dismay crossed his face. "Why don't you go in the lift and I'll climb the stairs."

"No: you go first and send the lift back down to me," said Honey.

Ethan tried to smile. "No. You take the lift first. Ladies first."

"But a lift is an enclosed space," said Honey. "If the radiation comes off me, it might hang around and get you."

Ethan's smile was a little more convincing now. "Don't worry. I don't expect that to be a problem."

"But what if I fart or something?" said Honey. "I always get the urge to fart when I'm in a lift. Don't you?"

"Oh. Um… not really, but I think Cal does." Ethan was smiling for real now. "He feels the urge, I mean. I'm not saying that he actually… though I wouldn't be at all surprised if he did! But you can go first, Honey. It really will be all right."

He stood well back so Honey could go into the lift. Honey frowned at the lift instructions and pressed the button for Ethan's floor. When she got there, she got out of the lift and pressed the down button to send it down to Ethan.

It didn't work. Instead, the doors opened. Honey tried again, but the same thing happened. She phoned Ethan. "It's not working! I think it's stuck! I keep pressing the down button but nothing happens."

"Don't worry," said Ethan. "I'll press the down button. That should work."

Honey watched as the lift doors closed again, waiting for the inevitable moment when it would open, but instead it started making creaking sounds. "I think it's working!"

"Then I'll be with you soon," said Ethan.

"Don't worry," said Honey. "I didn't fart."

"Thank you, sweetheart," said Ethan. "I appreciate it." He sounded like he meant it.

Honey moved away from the lift doors so it would be safe for him to come out. When Ethan arrived, they walked to the flat, careful to stay a metre apart. When they arrived, the door to the flat opened and Cal stood there, wearing a chef's hat.

It did look rather odd with his jeans, but it made Honey smile.

"Welcome to the famous Knight in Shining Armour Restaurant!" said Cal. "May I take your coats?"

"You can't take mine," said Honey sadly.

Cal moved backwards. "I'm sorry. I didn't explain properly. If you'd both like to _throw_ me your coats, I'll hang them up for you."

Ethan threw his coat at Cal. Ethan's aim wasn't usually very good, but it landed perfectly on top of Cal's head. He went to stand beside Cal while Honey had her turn. She didn't manage to throw it over Cal's head, but she did manage to hit him in the face.

"Careful," Honey warned him. "It might have iodine on it."

"I'm sure it's fine," said Cal. He hung up both coats. "If you'd both like to follow me…"

They made an odd procession. Ethan insisted on Honey going ahead of him, which meant they all had to walk a metre apart, but Honey forgot about the awkwardness as soon as she saw the doorway leading to the dining room. Cal had put gold tinsel around the doorframe. Half of it was hanging off, but Honey discovered that sometimes, it really was the thought that counted.

They went into the living room. There was silver tinsel around the lights, which not only looked quite pretty but dimmed them slightly. Cal had put a tablecloth over the table (it wasn't quite on evenly and Honey knew Ethan would straighten it as soon as Cal had gone left the room) and laid out knives, forks and spoons that shone so brightly, Honey almost thought he might have polished them. As it was Cal, he probably hadn't, but they did look good.

Cal walked to the far end of the table and pulled out a chair with a flourish. "Madame."

"She's 'Mademoiselle' really," said Ethan, as he moved to the other side of the table so Honey could walk past him. "She's not married yet."

"Yeah, whatever!" said Cal. "Don't be so pedantic."

Honey wasn't sure what pedantic meant, but she thought it must be a lovely thing to be if it described Ethan. "I love it when men are pedantic."

"I noticed," said Cal drily. As Honey walked towards the chair, he walked backwards. Honey sat in the chair and pushed it forwards again. Cal then escorted Ethan to the chair at the other end of the table.

Honey's smile faltered slightly. She could see that she and Ethan needed to be at opposite ends of the table. She wanted to keep Ethan safe and at least they'd be looking at each other.

But he seemed such a long way away.

Cal departed to fetch the wine, leaving Honey and Ethan alone.

"I didn't know Cal was going to do all this!" Ethan was smiling as he carefully straightened the table cloth.

"He's really great," said Honey. Then she had to say it again because Ethan hadn't heard her from all the way across the table.

Cal returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He left both glasses in the middle of the table. As Honey and Ethan were both on the small side, they both had to get out of their seats (one at a time, of course) to get their drinks. As soon as they'd done that, Cal appeared with two plates of lasagne, which were also left in the middle of the table.

"Thank you, Cal. It looks lovely," said Honey.

It was lovely. Cal was a much better cook than Honey had expected. But every mouthful was difficult to swallow – not because Honey was having any difficulties with swallowing, which could be a problem after radio iodine therapy, but because of the emotion she was feeling.

Cal and Ethan were so sweet to do this for her, but everything they'd done just made Honey more aware of all the ways in which everything was different.

She hated herself. It was _considerate_ of Cal to put both plates in the middle of the table. He could have just put Honey's there, but he'd tried to make things exactly the same for both of them. Honey appreciated the thought, but it also made her feel worse.

Honey did her best not to let Ethan know how she was feeling. She talked determinedly throughout the meal, first of the tarot reading she'd given herself earlier (which seemed to imply her whole life was a mess apart from her relationship); the entire plot so far of one of the books Ethan had bought for her; and what an amazing cook Cal was – nearly as good as Ethan.

But deep inside her was a sense of loneliness that grew as she ate. She tried telling herself she was lucky. After all, she couldn't touch Ethan, but she would be able to touch him in a few weeks and no other girl would be able to touch him ever again because Ethan would always be with her.

But at that moment, she felt so lonely.


	64. Chapter 64

**ETWentHome** , Honey really does love physical contact - it would probably have been easier for Lily, who would have missed working, but she'd have taken the opportunity to do lots of studying. hank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you think Ethan is sweet and romantic - that's what he's trying to be! And as Cal is taking charge of cooking, they get lots of time together.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think Ethan is sweet when he's pedantic. I'm pedantic too, but I'm probably not sweet! Cal and Ethan have gone to a lot of effort, so I hope Honey doesn't seem ungrateful. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Once the main course was finished, Cal took their plates away and reappeared with two bowls. "And here we are. The very appropriately-named honey and lemon pudding – for Honey, who is a complete honey, and Ethan, who is a complete lemon."

"No, he's not!" said Honey.

Cal ruffled Ethan's hair.

Honey immediately felt sad she couldn't do that.

"I hope you enjoy it," said Cal. "I've never cooked it before, but honey and lemon is good for sore throats and sometimes your throat can be a bit sensitive after radio iodine therapy." He went back into the kitchen.

Ethan checked he'd gone before speaking to Honey in a low voice. He then had to repeat it because she couldn't hear. "I said you probably shouldn't have the lemon – your stomach's a bit sensitive for citrus fruit."

Honey gasped. "I can't have the pudding?"

"You can have the honey," said Ethan. "And the honey is always the best part of everything."

Honey tried to smile for Ethan's sake. "Okay," she said, and waited while Ethan transferred all her lemon into his bowl and gave her some extra honey.

It was very nice honey and it was lovely feeling the warmth trickling down her throat, but after a couple of mouthfuls, it became a bit boring. Just honey and nothing else – and honey wasn't made to be alone.

Honey felt tears rising. She blinked them away, but they kept coming. But perhaps she was too far away for Ethan to notice.

Too far away…

"Are you all right?" said Ethan anxiously.

"The honey's really hot," said Honey, sniffing. "It's making my eyes water."

"I'll get you a tissue," said Ethan, standing up.

Honey shook her head. "You can't."

"Oh. No. You're right." Ethan sat down again. "Well… you know where they are."

Honey got a tissue and wiped her eyes, but her tears were building up. In a moment, they would overflow and there might be no hope of stopping them. A fast exit was her only option. She spoke without looking at him. "Ethan, I'm just going for a wee, okay?"

"Of course that's okay."

Honey fought to keep her voice steady. "Can you move, please? You're too close."

"Of course. Sorry." Ethan got up from his chair and moved away from the door.

Honey fled to the bathroom.

* * *

Ethan wasn't stupid.

Well, he probably was, in all kinds of ways, but he knew Honey was crying. And there was nothing he could do.

When she returned, he asked her if she was okay. She said she was fine.

"Don't worry: I flushed twice and I squirted the hand soap with my elbow so I didn't touch it with my hands," said Honey. "But it went up the walls a bit. Sorry."

"That's okay." Ethan didn't know what else to say. He was fighting back tears, himself. now. The idea of Honey operating hand soap with her elbow could have been funny. Ethan remembered once when he'd been ill in bed, Cal had brought him tea and biscuits. Cal had had a sprained wrist at the time (he'd tripped over and landed on it whilst being chased by his girlfriend's husband) and he hadn't been able to carry the tea and biscuits at the same time. So he'd carried the biscuits in his mouth.

That had been funny, especially when he'd tried to talk with a packet of biscuits in his mouth. Ethan had teased him that he should keep biscuits in his mouth all the time because then he wouldn't have to listen to Cal talking drivel, and Cal had pretended to hit Ethan over the head with the biscuits for being so cheeky when Cal was being nice to him.

But nothing could be funny when Honey was so sad.

They finished the pudding almost in silence. Cal cleared the bowls away and brought coffee, which was again placed in the centre of the table. Ethan had thought that was such a kind and sensitive idea, but now he noticed the sadness on Honey's face.

He knew at once what was wrong. He and Cal had tried too hard to make everything normal. Cal was pretending it was normal for the waiter to leave the food in the middle of the table, but for Honey, that only emphasised the fact that things were different. The ideal solution would be to do something they'd never done before so Honey couldn't compare it with the last time.

But Ethan's mind was completely blank.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" asked Ethan when they'd finished their coffee.

"A bit tired," said Honey.

"That's understandable," said Ethan sadly. "Would you like me to take you home, darling?"

"I think that might be best," said Honey.

They stood up. Ethan automatically waited beside the door so Honey could go ahead of him, but then he realised she couldn't get that close. He quickly went to the other side of the table, but it was too late. Honey knew what he'd tried to do.

"I-I did have a lovely time though," said Honey. "Thank you, Ethan. I'd like to thank Cal too."

"I'll find him for you," said Ethan.

But Cal must have heard of them: he was waiting, holding Honey's coat. He threw it to her. "I'm sorry you're leaving already, Honey, but you must be tired."

"Thank you for the meal, Cal. It was lovely. The honey and lemon pudding was a really clever idea. It was so funny."

Ethan hoped Cal hadn't heard the flatness in her voice, but the sympathetic look in his eyes suggested he had.

"You're welcome, Honey," said Cal. "Come and see us again soon. Maybe we could watch a film or something. I'll share the sofa with Nibbles so I can hold his hand if he gets scared and you can have the armchair."

Again, he was trying hard to be accommodating, but instead, it emphasised the differences. Cal probably wasn't aware that Honey often held Ethan's hand when they watched a scary film, though this wasn't just for Ethan's benefit.

Ethan knew Cal would do a good job of holding his hand – he had years of experience, despite a gap of about fifteen years without hand-holding – but who would hold Honey's hand?

No-one.

* * *

Ethan parked the car and Honey sadly picked up her bag and Ethan's necklace. One of the worst things was the way she kept forgetting. She'd thought about how sad it was that Ethan couldn't put the necklace on for her, but then she'd gone on to think it was okay because Noel could do it instead.

But he couldn't.

Earlier, when Cal had suggested watching a film together, Honey had almost said that if Cal and Ethan were going to hold hands, she'd hold hands with Robyn.

But she couldn't.

Honey got out of the car and walked towards the door. It felt different doing this walk alone. Ethan always insisted on walking with her and he usually had his arm around her. It was mostly an expression of love, though she thought keeping her warm and protecting her from danger came into it too.

Honey couldn't quite imagine Ethan protecting her from any kind of danger unless he was actually saving her life in the ED, but that made her love him more. She loved his vulnerability. She didn't think she could be happy with someone like Cal, who always made such a point of acting so tough all the time. Of course, Honey knew Cal was quite vulnerable too, but he liked to pretend he was tough, so everyone else had to pretend as well.

Honey was glad he'd found Robyn.

She walked to the door, aware of Ethan's footsteps as close behind her as they could be, and turned to face him. "Thanks for a lovely evening, Ethan."

It had been lovely, she told herself. The fact she hadn't enjoyed it didn't mean it wasn't lovely.

"No. Thank _you_ for a lovely evening," said Ethan.

He smiled, but Honey wasn't sure he'd enjoyed it either.

* * *

Cal came out of his room when Ethan was taking his coat off. "Are you okay?"

"Don't you think you should be asking after Honey?" snapped Ethan.

Cal's head went back in surprise. "Okay. How's Honey?"

Ethan released his breath in a sigh. "Sorry, Cal. I shouldn't have said that. Honey's a bit tired, but I hope she'll feel better tomorrow, and I'm fine."

"Clearly not," said Cal.

Ethan fixed his eyes on the carpet. "Of course I'm fine. There are so many things I can do that Honey can't. I have no reasons to complain."

"You can't hug your girlfriend," said Cal. "You can't give her what she needs – and I promise I'm not trying to be obscene."

Ethan tried to laugh, but his eyes flooded with tears instead.

Cal put his arm around him. "Go and sit down and I'll get a couple of beers."

"I've already had wine," said Ethan unsteadily. Not very much as he'd been driving, but he didn't want any beer. He didn't want anything. Except a cuddle with Honey.

"Tea?" offered Cal.

"I-I-I just want Honey to be okay!" burst out Ethan.

Cal took his arm and lead him over to the sofa. "She will be okay, Ethan."

"But I want her to be okay now!"

Cal held Ethan tightly in his arms as he finally began to cry. "I know, Nibbles. I know. But I'm going to help her."

"How?" sniffled Ethan.

"By looking after you," said Cal. "You're Honey's biggest source of support – you and Noel. But it's tough supporting someone. So the best thing I can do for Honey is look after you and help make sure you look after yourself so you can be the best support to her you can be."


	65. Chapter 65

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Let's hope Ethan does listen to Cal - he's used to Cal talking complete rubbish, but he does very occasionally talk sense!

 **ETWentHome** , it is really difficult - whatever Cal and Ethan do is likely to be wrong! And Honey won't want to tell them they're making it worse in case it hurts their feelings. Thank you for your review.

 **CBloom2** , I love it when Cal supports Ethan. He doesn't so it often enough and when he does, he usually either messes up or Ethan pushes him away! I think the fact the writers starve us of brotherly affection makes us want it more. Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , I think Cal has always cared but struggled to show it. It was lovely seeing him with little Matilda and Emilie - the perfect father and son! And I think he does try to be a good brother. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I always recognise your reviews, even when logs you out! That is a great compliment to be anything like as good as Edward Scissorhands. I'm sure no-one but Ethan thinks Ethan is stupid! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Everyone was so kind and thoughtful and accommodating and Honey really was grateful that they were going to so much trouble to include her.

But she felt so alone, even when she was with Ethan. The metre felt more like a hundred miles and there were so many moments when she wanted so much to reach out to Ethan but couldn't.

A couple of days after they'd had dinner together, Ethan, Cal and Robyn came to see Honey to watch a film. Cal and Robyn shared the sofa while Ethan sat in an armchair, claiming he didn't want Cal and Robyn slobbering next to him when he'd just eaten. If he'd meant it, Honey would probably have found it quite funny, but the sofa was easily big enough for three and she knew he was sitting apart from the others so she wouldn't be the only one not on the sofa.

It was sweet of him. It was so sweet. But it made it harder for Honey to forget.

The best thing about the film was that it allowed Honey to cry and release some of her emotions. The worst thing was when she looked up at the end of the film to discover Ethan was crying too.

"Oh my goodness. I am so sorry," said Ethan, flushing with embarrassment.

Honey wanted to run to him and hold him tightly. She half-got up from her seat, but then she remembered and sat down again.

Robyn was crying too. Cal (who didn't seem to be crying, though he was sniffing a bit) kissed Robyn on the forehead and went to sit on the arm of Ethan's chair, teasing him gently but also hugging him. Honey wished so much that she could do that. She wanted to hold Ethan and wipe his tears away.

"Cal, stop teasing him," said Robyn. "Or I'll tell him all about that time we watched _Frozen_."

Cal stopped teasing him. "It's okay, Nibbles. There's nothing wrong with crying. Even I do it. On very, very rare occasions to make my girlfriend feel less embarrassed."

"Ooh, you liar!" said Robyn, and through a cushion at his head. She scored a direct hit and cheered.

The three of them laughed and Honey felt alone. So alone.

When she really was alone, it didn't matter so much. When she was alone, she could forget. Even when she was feeling ill, she could pretend it was something else.

But when she was with her friends, all she could think of was everything they weren't doing.

"Um, could I have a bit more breathing space, please, Cal?" said Ethan. "You're very kind, but I'm suffocating a bit and I want to look at Honey."

Cal moved away. Ethan wiped his eyes, put his glasses on and looked at Honey.

Honey looked back at him. His eyes were red-rimmed, but there was such intensity in his gaze. Cal and Robyn became quiet, or perhaps Honey just couldn't hear them anymore. Ethan wasn't smiling – he still looked a bit emotional – but his eyes were full of love.

But not just love. There was a strength in them too that she hadn't expected. Protectiveness.

Hugging her with his eyes.

Honey felt herself shivering as though he really was touching her. A shiver of pleasure and anticipation.

Ethan's gaze lowered to her mouth. For a moment, he focused on it intently, then he raised his eyes to hers again.

A kiss. He'd kissed her.

Honey waited, wondering if he would undress her with his eyes (Ethan had never really done that before, though plenty of other men had), but he didn't. He continued to 'hug' her. Honey felt a warmth surrounding her as though he really was hugging her. She imagined her head was resting against his shoulder, his arms tightly around her. His eyes dropped to her lips again. Honey closed her eyes automatically, but then she opened them again because she wanted to see him.

She felt safe. She felt loved. And in that moment, the fact they weren't touching didn't matter.

 _I love you_ … Ethan mouthed the words.

 _I love you too_. Honey mouthed the words back to him and saw a smile appear on his face. She looked down at her hands, brushed a finger over her engagement ring and then looked at Ethan again. He smiled.

Honey smiled too. She felt so close to him. Their bodies weren't touching, but their thoughts were.

This was the way they needed to do it. They shouldn't talk for the sake of filling the silences that were usually filled with hugs. They should continue to hug in their own way.

The hug continued for what felt like a long time, then they slowly seemed to come back to earth. Honey became aware of the softness of the armchair she was sitting in. She heard a slight creak as she changed position. She saw not just Ethan but the chair and walls and carpet around them.

"I'm s-" began Ethan with a glance at the sofa, but then he stopped.

Honey looked too. The sofa was empty. Cal and Robyn had given them their moment.

"Do you think they're going to come back anytime soon?" said Ethan.

"If they do, they can always go away again," said Honey.

"They are your guests," pointed out Ethan.

Honey got up and looked out of the living room door. Cal and Robyn were in the kitchen in a tight embrace. To her surprise, Honey felt no trace of jealousy. It wasn't as though she wanted to kiss Cal – or Robyn, for that matter. She had Ethan and they had ways of kissing even now. "I think they're busy."

She sat down again and felt Ethan's gaze caressing her arms and shoulders – but no more than that.

"I think we might be busy too," said Ethan.

* * *

Honey told her bridesmaids about it when they came to visit her the next day. Robyn and Rita weren't able to come as they were working, but Lily, Louise and Zoe were there.

"That sounds lovely, Honey," said Zoe. "I'm so glad you've found a way of hugging Ethan. I'm sure it really helps both of you."

Honey glanced at Lily and Louise to see what they thought and was shocked to see that Lily was frowning while Louise looked almost nauseated.

"I can't believe you actually told us that!" said Louise.

Honey looked at her uncertainly. "Why shouldn't I tell you about it?"

"Because it's gross, isn't it?" said Louise. "And I think it's a bit creepy. I never thought Ethan was the type. I know Cal is – he's mentally undressed me enough times. But Ethan always seems so sweet."

"He is sweet!" said Honey, offended on Ethan's behalf. "It's not a bit creepy. It's really nice." She looked at Zoe for confirmation. "It's not creepy, is it?"

"No, I'm sure it's not," said Zoe. "It's not mental undressing, Louise. It's mental hugging. It's completely different."

"It sounds like mental undressing to me," said Louise.

Honey shook her head crossly. "Of course it's not! Lily, do you think it's creepy?"

Lily hesitated. "I think it's impossible for us to judge as we weren't present, but if Honey says it's not mental undressing, then I'm prepared to accept that."

"So, you think it's mental undressing too?" said Honey. Her eyes filled with tears. "Why don't any of you understand? Ethan did a nice thing. A really nice thing. I thought you'd all be happy for me!"

Louise rolled her eyes. "Oh, for God's sake, Honey."

"Louise, stop it," said Zoe sharply.

"Me?" Louise looked scandalised. "What did I do? Lily was the one who made her cry, not me."

"I didn't make her cry!" Lily sounded upset.

Louise's voice was disparaging. "Well, somebody did."

Honey gave a sob and ran to her room. She threw herself face-down on the bed. Why didn't they understand? She'd been so happy she and Ethan had found a way to hug and now they'd spoiled it.

She heard a light tap on her door, followed by Zoe's voice. "Is it okay if I come in?"

"No, don't come in!" said Honey urgently. She lifted her head to see Zoe beside the door. "I mean, don't come too close."

"It's okay. I can talk to you from here," said Zoe. "I just want to tell you Lily and Louise didn't mean anything. I think it's great you and Ethan have found a way to hug and I hope you'll keep doing it."

"But now they've spoiled it!" wailed Honey.

"Then don't let them spoil it," said Zoe. "Louise doesn't understand and that isn't your fault or Ethan's. I think she has much lower self-esteem than anyone realises and that's her way of dealing with it."

"And Lily?" sniffed Honey.

"Lily has had a very rigid and sheltered upbringing," said Zoe. "All she's ever done is work very hard and it's hard for her to relax and have some fun because it's all so new to her. Lily is incredibly intelligent and has a very scientific brain, but sometimes she struggles to imagine things which are outside her experience."

Honey sniffed again and rolled over onto her back. "I didn't mean it to sound like mental undressing."

"And it didn't," said Zoe. "A lot of people aren't very good at listening, Honey. It's not that they don't want to listen, but sometimes they only take in half of what's being said and they fill in the gaps themselves. I do it myself. It can be really hurtful, but a lot of the time, it's an accident."

"Is it an accident for Louise?" said Honey doubtfully.

"Maybe not always, but I think a lot of the time, I don't think she's trying to be hurtful," said Zoe. "I think a lot of it's jealousy. It'snot the most attractive emotion, but it's a very strong emotion that we all experience sometimes. You're sweet and funny and you're engaged to a man who really loves you. I think Louise would love to have that. Let's be honest: who wouldn't? But give it time. I'm sure she can learn to deal with it."

"Are they annoyed with me?" asked Honey.

"Lily is a bit annoyed with herself, but not with you, and I think Louise probably feels the same," said Zoe. She smiled kindly. "Come on, Honey. Come back. Don't let Lily and Louise's lack of understanding ruin your day."

Honey hesitated, then she wiped her eyes and got out of bed. They walked back to the living room a metre apart, but, as Honey only realised later, there was something so natural about it with Zoe. She just got on with it without making it a big production.

"Honey, I am sorry if I upset you," said Lily at once. "It was not my intention."

"I know," said Honey. "I'm sorry for getting upset. I can't seem to control my emotions at the moment."

Lily gave Louise a pointed look.

Louise scowled. "Oh, okay. Sorry, Honey. I should make more allowances."

Honey wasn't quite sure what Louise meant by that, but she didn't want another quarrel. "It's okay, Louise. You shouldn't have to make allowances me all the time. I'm big enough to control my emotions." _I just can't do it._


	66. Chapter 66

**Tanith Panic** , Very bad Louise! Do you think Honey should relieve her of her bridesmaid duties? She is horrible sometimes, but Robyn really seems to like her and Alicia liked her, but only Ethan likes Lily. I'd let Ethan hug me with his eyes anytime! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you think it's sweet. It took them a while, but Ethan isn't going to give up on finding ways to make Honey happy.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. I expect Robyn has made Cal watch all sorts of films he wouldn't normally go near! He probably was singing along too.

 **ETWentHome** , I'm glad you liked Ethan and Honey's special way of kissing - I wasn't sure it would work, so I'm glad it did. I have to agree about Ethan being sweet! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan sat on the sofa, unable to help smiling to himself as he wrote the list. Cal had passed him once or twice and given him a curious look, but he'd said nothing so far. Ethan sucked the end of his pencil and wondered what else he could add.

"You'll get lead poisoning if you do that, you know," said Cal.

Ethan removed the pencil from his mouth. "It's graphite, not lead. I really am surprised you don't know that with your science A Levels."

"Graphite poisoning then," said Cal, as though he thought Ethan was being needlessly pernickety.

And perhaps he was. Everyone referred to pencil lead, after all. The term 'pencil graphite' wouldn't make sense to many people.

"What are you doing anyway?" asked Cal, sitting beside Ethan and having a good stare at the piece of paper. What he saw evidently disappointed him. "Shopping list, eh? I wouldn't have expected even you to smile over a shopping list."

"It's not a normal sort of shopping list," said Ethan, too excited by his plan to let Cal annoy him. "I'm taking Honey on a picnic."

Cal looked at him worriedly. He put a hand on Ethan's shoulder and spoke gently. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" said Ethan. "She can't go to a restaurant, of course, but I don't see any reason why we can't enjoy a meal together."

"But there isn't anywhere in Holby you can really be alone," objected Cal. "There's going to be kids running around; coming up to you… it wouldn't be safe."

Ethan controlled his impatience. It was much easier when he was thinking of Honey. "I'm going to take Honey somewhere quieter than that. Out in the country. We shouldn't see anyone at all and if we do, I'll have ample time to warn them not to get too close."

Cal failed to look reassured. "But what about you? Are you sure it's a good idea to be alone with Honey for all that time?"

"It's okay: I've thought of that," said Ethan. "Sharing a car with Honey is only a problem if we spend more than six hours in the car - and we won't be driving more than about half an hour. The picnic mat is a metre long so we can sit at the ends and put the food and the picnic basket in the middle. That's completely natural because we're both going to want to help ourselves to the food. And as it's natural, Honey won't be so aware of how different things are."

The concern on Cal's face faded. He smiled. "I think it's a great idea, Ethan."

"You do?" said Ethan, surprised and pleased.

Cal nodded. "Of course I do." He reached across and took the piece of paper from Ethan. "Why don't you get some of those pineapple and cheese on stick things?"

"I think Honey's stomach is too sensitive for pineapple and if we just have cheese, she'll notice the absence of the pineapple," said Ethan. He thought for a moment. "But we could have sausages on sticks. That would be good."

* * *

Honey was so excited. Ethan had told her about the picnic in a text message. She'd been worried at first, texting back to say she mustn't get too close to him, but Ethan said he'd thought of that and everything was under control.

Now, she stood in her room, trying to choose the perfect outfit. As they were going into the country, a dress and heels didn't feel very sensible so she chose jeans, a pink top and a pair of black shoes that were good for walking.

"You look beautiful, Honey," said Noel, when he admired the outfit from a distance. "Ethan won't know what's hit him."

Honey smiled and went back to her room. She picked up the book she was reading from her bedside table and settled down to read it – it would be better to rest if she was going out this evening.

At first, she felt fine. When she did began to feel a slight queasiness, she ignored it as it was completely normal and not usually anything to worry about. But the nausea soon increased and before long, Honey was reaching for her bucket. Noel heard her throwing up and came running into her room.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" said Honey, as soon as she was able to speak. She wiped her mouth and had a gulp of water.

Noel hovered in the doorway. She could see from his face that all he wanted was to hold and comfort her.

Honey wanted to tell her she was fine, but the fact was she wasn't. "What am I going to do about tonight, Dad?"

"You might be feeling better by tonight," said Noel. "Why not wait and see how you feel? If you do have to postpone, I'm sure Ethan will understand.

Honey nodded, but she was far from comforted. She was fairly sure she wouldn't be feeling better by tonight and she could tell Ethan had already put a lot of effort into this picnic.

* * *

Ethan carried the picnic basket out to the car. He was going to put it in the boot, but then he decided he might as well put it in the front seat. He checked it was secure, then he got into the car and made the short journey to Honey's flat.

Leaving the picnic basket in the car, he made his way to the door and rang the doorbell. Once he'd done that, he backed away from the door to ensure he was the right distance from Honey.

But it wasn't Honey who answered the door. It was Noel.

Ethan smiled. "Don't tell me. Honey is still choosing what to wear."

"Not exactly," said Noel. He didn't smile back.

Ethan began to feel worried. "Is there something wrong?"

Noel took him into the living room and sat down. "I'm afraid Honey hasn't been feeling too good today."

"Oh," said Ethan, a bit surprised. "She didn't mention it." It wasn't as though she hadn't had the opportunity. She'd been sending texts all day saying how much she was looking forward to the picnic. She hadn't given even the smallest hint that she might not be able to go.

"I'm sorry about that," said Noel. "She really didn't want to cancel, so she's been getting lots of rest and eating plain food in the hope she'll feel better and be able to go, but she really isn't well."

Disappointment filled Ethan. It shouldn't have been a surprise: he knew Honey had bad days. He couldn't tell at this stage whether the treatment hadn't cured the hyperthyroidism or if it had worked so well, she'd become hypothyroid instead, but either was possible. They couldn't really be sure until Honey had had a blood test and that wouldn't happen until six weeks after the radio iodine therapy, when the thyroid had been given a chance to settle down.

He did wish Honey had told him though. He'd spent a lot of time shopping and preparing the food and now it looked like it was all for nothing.

Noel looked understanding. "You're disappointed, aren't you? I can't blame you for that. Honey's disappointed too."

"Can I see her?" said Ethan.

"I'll go and ask her," said Noel as he go to his feet. Ethan sat and waited and was dismayed to discover he was slightly annoyed with Honey. As he'd brought the food the day before, he couldn't have known he was wasting his money, but he hated the thought he'd spent hours making sandwiches and all for nothing. If Honey had let him know earlier, he could have stopped.

Noel returned a few moments later. "She's on her way."

Honey appeared in the doorway just as Noel sat beside Ethan again. Ethan could tell she wasn't well. She looked like she hadn't slept: her eyes looked wide and staring and this time, it couldn't be blamed on her make-up because she didn't seem to be wearing any. "Hey, Ethan."

"Hey, sweetheart," said Ethan, his irritation melting away. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well."

"I'm sorry about the picnic," said Honey.

"Don't worry. It can't be helped," said Ethan. He gazed into her eyes for a moment, trying to hug her, but Honey's eyes remained sad and pain-filled.

Noel broke the silence awkwardly. "You could always have the picnic here."

Hope came to Honey's eyes and she turned to look at her dad. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you could put the picnic mat down on the floor," said Noel. "Then you get to eat your picnic; the food isn't wasted; and Honey isn't going to exhaust herself when she's not really well enough to leave the house."

Ethan looked at Noel in gratitude. "Thanks, Noel. That's a great idea." He looked hopefully at his fiancée. "What do you think, Honey?"

Honey was smiling. "I think it sounds perfect. Dad, you're a very clever guy."

Noel smiled too. "Well, I don't like to brag…"

Honey laughed and tried not to think about how much she wanted to give Noel a hug.

* * *

It wasn't the perfect meal Ethan had hoped for, though at least he and Honey were together.

With the food and the picnic basket between them, within reach of both, it made sense for him and Honey to be such a big distance apart, but he knew she wasn't enjoying the food.

She toyed with it on her plate, occasionally taking small bites but then making a face and putting it down again. Ethan asked several times if she was all right and Honey insisted she was fine, but he know the truth. He was upset, though not surprised, when Honey's nausea became overwhelming and she had to run to the bathroom. Ethan went with her, of course, but he couldn't hug her as he wanted to. All he could do was stand a distance and hope he was making her feel better.

"Sorry, Ethan," said Honey as she stood up.

Ethan moved backwards to give her some space. It wasn't a conscious thought: just something that happened. "Please don't apologise. It's not your fault. And if you'd rather not eat anything, you don't have to."

"But you planned it all and I'm spoiling it," said Honey. She was beginning to look tearful.

"You're not spoiling it at all," said Ethan. "Of course I'm sad that you're not well and I wish I could give you a cuddle, but the most important thing for me is that we're together."

Honey managed a small smile. "You're right. That is the most important thing. I love you, Ethan."

"I love you too, Honey," said Ethan.

Together, they went back to their picnic.


	67. Chapter 67

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I didn't want all Ethan's hard work to be wasted!

 **westlife4ever** , I'm glad it was romantic. I think the main point of the picnic was to be together, so the venue doesn't matter! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I've always liked pedantic men, but Ethan seems to get away with it even more easily than most! Thank you for your review and your idea about Louise, which I will use.

 **Depressed-and-Cool** , I'm afraid I'm a bit stuck with Falling as I've written the ending, but I'm not sure how I'm going to get there. I would like to update before the end of the week as it's been a while. Thank you for your interest.

 _Thank you to **Is-there-somewhere-x** for the follow._

 _And thank you to **EDSidekick** for checking the medical details._

* * *

Honey tried to arrange another afternoon with her bridesmaids, but she couldn't seem to get them all together. First Zoe phoned to say she had to stay at work till Dylan was back from taking Dervla to the vet, then Robyn texted to say she'd been asked to do a double shift.

Honey was disappointed, but she knew what it was like at the ED sometimes.

"What are we going to do?" asked Lily, who liked to have everything clear in her mind.

Louise gave her a look. "Lily, there's this thing called relaxing and going with the flow. You should try it sometime."

Perhaps fortunately, the doorbell rang. Honey got up automatically to answer it, then sat down again. "Sorry. I can't really get that in case they don't know about standing back."

"I'll go," said Rita at once. She went to the door and returned with Zoe.

"Hey, Zoe!" said Honey. "Come in and sit down somewhere a long way away from me. Um, no offence."

Zoe laughed. "None taken." She looked around. "Where's Robyn? Is she out with Cal?"

"No, she's working an extra shift," said Honey, then stared at Zoe in confusion. "But if you were working too…"

"Oh... she was probably... in Resus," said Zoe. "You know how easy it is to miss each other sometimes."

"Not that easy," said Louise. "Robyn isn't exactly small!"

"Actually, Louise, I think you're the only one who needs to be cut down to size," said Zoe.

Lily and Rita agreed, but Honey was only half-listening. She was confused.

If Robyn wasn't at work, where was she?

* * *

A few days later, Ethan was in cubicles, treating a young man with severe abdominal pain, constipation and distention of the stomach. The patient revealed this had happened before, but the doctors at St James' had sent him home again. After a while, the problem seemed to have resolved itself, but it kept recurring. Ethan examined the stomach and asked about the patient's diet. On learning that it wasn't exactly rich in fibre, he decided this was a likely cause of the problem, though not the only possibility.

The test results were inconclusive and Ethan mentioned various possible causes such as irritable bowel syndrome and lactose intolerance and prescribed a laxative before discharging the patient, advising him to see his GP. He felt guilty for letting him go when he was in so much pain and paid for a taxi to take him home, but he really didn't think there was anything more the ED could do.

Ethan's next patient was a pregnant woman in her 30s, suffering from orthopnea, dizziness, palpitations and abdominal pain. She had a history of anxiety problems, which manifested as palpitations with occasional chest pain and nausea with abdominal pains. Ethan knew a lot of doctors would have streeted her pretty quickly, but he gave her what advice and reassurance he could and offered to speak to her GP about putting her back on a low dose of amitriptyline, which she'd been taking before becoming pregnant.

After that, he saw a man who'd had two recent fainting spells and was having difficulty breathing. Ethan's examination revealed that the patient's heart-rate was on the high side of average, he was severely hypotensive and his respiratory rate was high at 28 breaths a minute. Ethan asked for an ECG and chest x-ray as well as some bloods. The results suggested a pulmonary embolus, so Ethan sent the patient for a CT pulmonary angiography, only for this to be ruled out.

He really didn't know what to think after that and decided he'd better ask a consultant's advice, but Zoe and Dylan were busy and he didn't dare ask Connie. In the end, feeling very embarrassed, he asked Cal. To his gratitude, Cal didn't laugh at him or become conceited. He simply went to have a look at Ethan's patient.

Ethan then treated a young man with a pair of scissors embedded in his leg. Ethan gave him some morphine for the pain and arranged for the scissors to be surgically removed due to its proximity to the femoral artery. As there was a bit of a wait and the patient was nervous, Ethan sat with him and reassured him till there was a space for him upstairs. Just before he was taken up to surgery, the patient began to have breathing difficulties. There wasn't time for Ethan to investigate this as the patient had to go for surgery, but he explained it was most likely a panic attack and told the man not to worry and he'd be looked after.

Ethan kept an eye out for Cal, hoping for an update on his patient, but it wasn't until Ethan was having his break that Cal found him.

"How's Gavin?" asked Ethan.

Cal hesitated, then sat beside Ethan. "It was anaphylaxis, Ethan."

"What?" Ethan shook his head. "No, I'm serious, Cal. Please tell me."

"I am being serious," said Cal gently. "It was an atypical presentation, but it was anaphylaxis."

Ethan found he was clutching Cal's arm. "Oh God, is he okay?"

"He's okay," said Cal. "We've got him on fluids, steroids, antihistamines and epinephrine. He's going to be fine."

Ethan let go and put his head in his hands.

"Ethan, it's okay. You did the right thing. You couldn't find out what was wrong so you asked another doctor. That's what you're supposed to do."

"I suppose so," murmured Ethan, only to jump when someone said his name.

"Dr Hardy," said Connie. "We have just had a patient admitted with a sigmoid volvulus. A patient whom you discharged earlier today with a diagnosis of lactose intolerance. As for the patient you recently sent up for surgery, did you read his medical notes at all?"

"I… yes… of course…"

"Then I'm a loss at how to explain why you gave morphine to a patient with a morphine allergy," said Connie.

"Oh gosh… are they both okay?"

"Fortunately for you, yes!" said Connie. "The patient with the morphine allergy was suffering from bronchospasm, but the surgeon took the unprecedented step of bothering to read the notes and was able to diagnose the problem. The patient with the sigmoid volvulus is being treated. But we have rather more concern for the patient you sent home after diagnosing anxiety."

"It wasn't anxiety?" said Ethan.

"No! It was peripartum cardiomyopathy, which led to a cardiac arrest."

Ethan was breathing fast. "Oh God… is she…"

"She's alive," said Connie. "No thanks to you."

Ethan lowered his head. "I'm so sorry, Mrs Beauchamp."

"Yes, I'm sure that will be a great consolation to the patient!" said Connie. "Go home, Dr Hardy. I don't know where your brain is today, but until it's back inside your skull where it belongs, I don't want to see you in this department."

She left the staff room. Ethan couldn't move. He felt Cal's hands on his shoulders and saw his brother's worried face. "Ethan, it's okay. You're not the first doctor to make those mistakes. I've done the anaphylaxis one – that's probably why I was able to spot it. I've made mistakes with anxiety too."

"Four mistakes in a row…" whispered Ethan.

"Ethan, that's just bad luck," said Cal.

"And I didn't read the notes: how could I not have read the notes?"

Cal's voice was soothing. "Was that the last one you saw?"

Ethan nodded.

"Then you were probably still half-thinking about the anaphylaxis," said Cal. "You never did like leaving a job half-done! Everyone makes mistakes with the notes sometimes."

Ethan's voice shook. "And I nearly killed that poor woman! And the baby… Mrs Beauchamp didn't mention the baby."

"Ethan. You need to go home," said Cal.

"No, I don't want to go home," said Ethan. "I can stay. I can work."

Cal shook his head. "Even if you can, Mrs Beauchamp said to go home and you don't argue with Mrs Beauchamp, do you?"

"Okay, but I don't want to go home. I want to go and see… no, I can't."

"Of course you can," said Cal. "Honey loves you. Go and get changed and I'll call her."

* * *

"We're here, Ethan," said Cal gently.

Ethan lifted his head from his hands. "Maybe this is a bad idea."

"No, it's a great idea!" said Cal. "Come on. It's okay." He patted Ethan's shoulder. "Out you get."

Ethan put his glasses on and got out of the car. Honey was standing, framed in the doorway. Ethan ran towards her, only to stop once he'd got as close as he could. "Hey. Thanks for letting me come over."

"Ethan, you can always come over," said Honey. "Anytime you need to. You know I can't hug you, but I've got the sofa all set up with all sorts of nice things for you."

Cal put his hand on Ethan's shoulder, making him jump. "Hey, Honey. Are you going to be all right now, Nibbles?"

"Go on! Have a hug!" urged Honey. "Someone's got to hug him if I can't and I love seeing you two hug!"

Cal put his arms around Ethan. Ethan held on tightly for a moment or two, then he let go. "Thanks for driving me, Cal. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Ethan." Cal patted his arm and went back to the car.

Ethan turned back to Honey, who led the way into the living room. Ethan looked at the sofa, wondering what he might find, and to his surprise, he smiled. It wasn't the kind of thing he usually associated with comfort, but it was just so Honey.

He sat on the sofa and arranged all the cushions around him before pulling the pink duvet across his knees. He selected a soft toy from the pile beside him and sat it on his lap.

"I got Mac to arrange it for me," said Honey. "He put one of my dresses over the arm of the sofa. It's been washed, but I sprayed it with perfume and body spray and stuff so it would smell like me."

Ethan picked up the dress and breathed in deeply. Honey had been a bit over-generous with the body spray, but he managed not to cough. "Thank you. You're so lovely."

"I've got the shirt you gave me over here," said Honey. "It still smells of you. And look: there's tea if you want it."

On a low table in front of Ethan was a teapot, a bottle of water with a glass, some pink tee-lights and some tissues. An incense burner sat in the far corner of the room.

"I'll blow it out if it makes your nose itch," said Honey quickly. "I just thought if it was over there, you'd still get the ambulance."

"I will get the ambiance. It's perfect," said Ethan unsteadily. He took his glasses off and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," said Honey softly. "All doctors make mistakes. I bet every doctor in the world has done all that stuff, but none of the others got them all in a row. It must be like, a million to one. The things you were treating were just really really rare and everyone misreads things sometimes and it's not your fault that woman got arrested. She shouldn't have broken the law, should she?"

Ethan smiled. She was obviously repeating what Cal had told her, but she'd obviously cared enough to remember most of it – and it sounded like Cal cared enough about Honey not to mention that one of the patients was pregnant. "I'm so glad I've got you, Honey."

"I'll always be here, Ethan," said Honey.


	68. Chapter 68

**Tanith Panic** , I think I'd like your brother-in-law! I love pedantic men. Zoe has put Louise in her place, but I wonder how long she'll stay there. I'm enjoying the challenge of writing affectionate scenes for a couple who can't touch! Thank you for your review.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. It's been lovely getting so many from you over the past few days! I'm so glad you like the story. Ethan has done so much for Honey, I thought she needed to do something for him too so the relationship didn't look one-sided.

 **westlife4ever80** , I think Ethan's okay really - he's a bit distracted because of Honey and he was unlucky enough to get a series of patients with conditions that are often misdiagnosed. But after a horrible day yesterday, he's not looking forward to work today! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan stared at his slices of toast but made no move to eat them. He really wasn't hungry. He felt sick.

"Come on, Nibbles. Eat up," said Cal.

Ethan pushed his plate away. "I don't feel well."

"Yes: that's exactly the way you used to say it when you were eight years old and being bullied," said Cal. "And nine year old and being bullied. And…"

"No need to carry on up to the present day, Cal," said Ethan. "That would be humiliating."

There was only concern on Cal's face now. "Ethan, today isn't going to be like yesterday. That was a one-off: a real nightmare day that any doctor would have struggled with. Including Mrs Beauchamp."

Ethan felt like crying. He turned away from Cal. "You don't know what will happen today."

"Yes, I do," said Cal. He walked around the table and sat beside Ethan. "This is what's going to happen, Nibbles. You're going to go to work and do a brilliant job and make lots of correct diagnoses and help lots of patients. Just as you've done on pretty much every day since you qualified."

"You didn't talk to me for years after I qualified," said Ethan, but it helped to know Cal believed in him, even if he didn't believe in himself.

"Every day since we've been working together anyway," said Cal. "And when a doctor has a day like yesterday, it usually makes them more careful the next day and even less likely to make a mistake."

"Maybe," said Ethan. He knew Cal was right, but he didn't feel as though he could trust himself.

"If you're not sure of anything, you can always ask me," said Cal. "I promise I won't make a big thing about it. And you often get a choice about who you see anyway, so you can always leave the pregnant patients to me. Half of them might be my fault anyway."

Ethan knew Cal was trying to make him smile, but it didn't work.

"Then you can double-check the notes for allergies, which shouldn't take you long because you've always been a fast reader," said Cal. "If anyone seems anxious, you can always be cautious and send them for scans. Even if you find nothing, at least you'll know you looked."

"Yes, and Mrs Beauchamp will say that's unnecessary use of hospital resources and all my patients will breach," said Ethan, his voice trembling. He felt tears stinging his eyes and hated himself even more.

Cal put his arm around him. "It's okay. You'll be fine. And I'll be right there."

Ethan shook his head. He hadn't been fine yesterday. He didn't see how today would be different.

"Okay. If I can't talk you into it, here's someone else who can." Cal picked up his phone and searched through his contacts. "Hey. How are you?... I'm really glad. Listen, Ethan doesn't want to go to work because he's scared today will be like yesterday. Do you think you could have a word with him for me?"

Ethan didn't need to look at the display to know who it was. "I'm sorry, darling. It's always lovely to talk to you, but I hope Cal didn't wake you up."

"Dr Hardy," said the voice. "While I'm pleased there's one person in the ED who doesn't hate me, I don't really think that calling me 'darling' is really like, on, is it?"

Ethan laughed softly. The accent had given it away even before the vocabulary had. "Hello, Mrs Beauchamp. Can I ask what you're doing with my fiancée's phone? Because if you're seeing her behind my back, I'm going to draft my resignation letter to the board right now!"

Honey sounded worried. "It's me, Ethan! It's Honey! I was just trying to make you laugh."

"And you did," said Ethan, smiling into the phone.

"So, are you going to go to work?" asked Honey. "Because if you don't, you'll have to put up with me doing Connie impressions all day."

Ethan sighed. "I don't know. I know I should really. I'm just a little bit scared the same things will happen again."

"It's not very likely though, is it?" said Honey.

"Not very likely," admitted Ethan. "But if it happened once…"

"But it won't happen the same way," said Honey. "You won't get the same patients again. But even if you did, that's okay because you're more prepared now. You know all about sigmund volvos and anna prophylactics now so you'll get it next time. I know you'll be fine today. You're the best doctor in the world and I love you. And if you need me to tell you that again, you can phone me. Anytime."

Ethan decided it was a good thing they were speaking on the phone or he really might have kissed her. "Thank you, Honey. You're right. I do need to go to work."

"You'll be amazing," said Honey. "I know you will. Now are you going to eat your breakfast or does Cal have to forcefeed it to you?"

Ethan looked warily at the phone, wondering if there was a camera he hadn't noticed. "How do you know I haven't eaten my breakfast?"

"Because you always have trouble eating your breakfast when you're nervous," said Honey. "And I should know! We've had breakfast together enough times."

"No. Not enough times," said Ethan. "I can't wait till we're married. Then I'll be able to have breakfast with you every day for the rest of our lives."

* * *

Ethan was standing by the nurse's station when his brother appeared beside him. "Ethan, have you got a minute?"

Ethan panicked. "There's nothing wrong with any of my patients, is there?"

Cal put his hands on Ethan's shoulders. "No, of course not. You've been great – which is more than I can say for everyone else! Lily asked Lofty to give a pregnancy test to a twelve year old – to be fair, she did look eighteen. Zoe was very short with one of her regular time-wasters, who luckily was sensible enough to collapse _before_ leaving the cubicle, and I... I might have asked a patient with long curly hair named Taylor whether _his_ periods were regular. Dr Hardy, on the other hand, seems to be managing very well."

Ethan's eyes widened. "Did that really all happen?"

"Yes, it definitely all happened, but perhaps it wouldn't be completely true to say it _all_ happened today," admitted Cal.

Ethan smiled. He could guess which one had happened today, but he was kind enough not to say.

"That's better!" said Cal. "That's what we like to see. Nibbles smiling. And now I'd like to see Nibbles helping me."

"Do you need a second opinion?" asked Ethan a bit worriedly.

"No, nothing like that," said Cal. "At least, not with a patient. Though if I do, you'll be the first person I'll ask. I wanted to ask you something about Robyn."

Ethan stared at him. "You're asking for my advice about girls?"

"Well, I would expect my engaged brother to know something about the subject!" said Cal.

Ethan smiled. It was difficult not to smile when he remembered he was engaged to Honey. "I know something about one girl, certainly. And I'll be pleased to help all I can."

Cal looked around the nurse's station and shook his head. "Not here. Have you had your break yet?"

"No, not yet, but-"

"Have it now." Cal took him towards the staff room and had a quick look inside. It was empty. He spoke in a low voice. "I think Robyn's avoiding me."

"Okay, um, why do you think that?" said Ethan, trying to sound as though he knew what he was talking about.

"She didn't call me this morning," said Cal, a worried frown on his face. "She always calls me. I tried calling her, but she didn't answer. Then, when I got to work early so we could have a chat before out shifts started, she arrived so late, there wasn't time to chat. She said she'd overslept. I asked her to meet me on her break and we arranged a time, but she said she'd had it early because Rita wanted a chat."

"Perhaps Rita did want a chat," said Ethan.

Cal shook his head. "She wasn't with Rita. I know that for a fact because Rita was working with me!"

Ethan looked at Cal in concern. At first, he'd thought it was simple paranoia, but it sounded like Robyn had actually lied.

"So what do you think?" said Cal. He sounded upset.

"Have you done something that might have upset her?" said Ethan, hoping this wouldn't hurt Cal's feelings.

Cal shrugged. "Not that I know of. I've been trying to think all day. But everything seemed fine till this morning."

"Do you have any other ideas of what it might be?"

"No idea," said Cal. "All I can think of is that she's gone off me. I don't want that to be true, Ethan. She's the sweetest, loveliest, most beautiful girl I have ever seen – but don't you dare quote me on the soppy stuff or I'll tell everyone about that time you wet yourself in Burger King and I _will_ say how old you were – and I really think I'm in love this time. But there are so many guys out there who are better than me and what if she's met one of them?"

Ethan was a bit surprised Cal thought there were men who were better than him. Another sign of Robyn's good influence, he decided – and another reason to hope Cal was wrong and Robyn had a perfectly good reason for her lies. "I'm sure it's not that, Cal. Robyn loves you – there isn't anyone better than you as far as she's concerned - and as far as I've seen, you've been a very good boyfriend."

"Ethan, what am I going to do?"

Ethan tried not to panic. "Next time you see her and it's convenient – so not when you're in a middle of treating a patient – ask her if she's okay. It doesn't matter if she says yes or no. What matters-"

"Of course it matters if she says no!" interrupted Cal. "If my girlfriend isn't happy, that matters. And if she says yes, that matters too because she's lying again!"

"Of course it does, and I can see that whichever answer she gives, it will be very worrying," said Ethan supportively. "But the point isn't to get her to give you information – by asking if she's all right, you're letting her know you care. If Robyn's upset about something, whether she feels able to talk about it or not, I'm sure it will help her to know that you care."

"Do you think so?" said Cal.

Ethan considered. "Well, I'm _almost_ sure."


	69. Chapter 69

**CBloom2** , I know... Cal asking for Ethan for advice about girls isn't something that happens every day! If he did ask for advice in the show, he would probably do it in some sort of annoying roundabout way and Ethan would storm off before Cal got to the asking-for-advice part. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , Cal and Robyn are a sweet couple, but they've been happy for far too long. You can't be a couple in Holby for that length of time without something going wrong! I'm glad you liked the doctors' blunders. Doctors are very intelligent, but they're also human and very busy. Thank you for your review.

 **Mississippi** , thank you for your request and your review. I'd rather not write about Ethan with asthma as there are so many stories about this on fanfiction already - I actually thought Ethan really was asthmatic for a while! - but I'll certainly consider writing a story where he has diabetes as I've seen one story about a diabetic Ethan.

 **westlife4ever80** , yes, Cal has got it very bad! Though if he did want advice, I think he'd be more likely to go to Ethan rather than one of his mates, who'd probably laugh at him and tell everyone else. Ethan wouldn't do that. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I really wanted to show Honey supporting Ethan after everything he's done for her. She does have a selfish side, but unlike the 'real' Honey, she does love Ethan. Robyn is lovely so she's probably not seeing another guy behind Cal's back, though you never know!

* * *

Honey phoned Ethan the minute his shift was due to finish, but she wasn't surprised when he didn't answer straight away. Ethan wasn't someone who stopped working the minute his shift was over. Even if he did happen to be between patients, he often stayed longer as he didn't always notice the time. Honey left a message telling him she loved him and she hoped his shift had gone well.

Half an hour later, Honey still hadn't heard from Ethan. She phoned Cal and was relieved when he answered straight away.

"Hey, little sis. Are you okay?"

"I'm worried about Ethan," said Honey. "I left a message and he hasn't got back to me. Is he okay?"

"Ethan's still working," said Cal. "He's a little bit behind his target patient quota because he's been extra-cautious today, but he should be finished soon."

"I hope so," said Honey. "I tried telling him last night not to put so much pressure on himself, but I'm sure he is."

Cal sighed. "That's my brother. He always wants to do his best and if he feels he hasn't done it, he works twice as hard to make up for it – and as he works too hard already, it isn't good for him."

"Do you think there's anything I can do to stop him putting pressure on himself?" asked Honey. "I am trying not to get so upset, but it's hard."

"Honey, if I knew how to stop Ethan putting pressure on himself, I'd have done it a long time ago," said Cal. "I really think all we can do is keep supporting him. But he's happier now he's got you. Even when things are going wrong for him, at least he still feels loved. I think that really makes a difference."

"Thanks, Cal," said Honey. "I hope so. I'm sure Robyn makes a difference for you too."

There was a pause. "Sorry, Honey, I've got to get back to work," said Cal. "I'll speak to you soon, okay?"

Honey said goodbye and sat for some minutes, wondering if Cal really had to get back to work or if he was just avoiding talking about Robyn. Honey had a feeling she'd put her foot in it - and she couldn't have done that unless something was wrong.

* * *

Ethan was relieved when he'd finally seen his target number of patients. It had been a long, tough day. He hadn't made any serious mistakes, but he wasn't entirely happy with his performance.

He arrived in the staff room to find Cal talking to Robyn. He started to back out in order to give them some privacy, but then he heard Robyn's voice.

"I'm really sorry, Cal. But Louise really needs me tonight."

"Okay, sure," said Cal. "It's fine. We'll catch up another night."

"Thanks, Cal," said Robyn gratefully. She kissed him on the cheek and hurried out of the room so quickly, Ethan only just had time to move out of her way.

He went into the staff room to discover Cal with his head in his hands. "Are you okay?"

"Robyn's cancelled our date!" said Cal. He was probably trying to sound angry, but his voice was shaking too much.

Ethan sat down beside him. "I'm sure she has a good reason."

"She said Louise was upset and needed a friend," said Cal.

"Well, there you go," said Ethan. "I know Robyn cares about you, Cal, but she cares about a lot of people and she's always putting other people's needs before her own."

"I know and that's part of the reason why I lo… like her," said Cal. "But it's not true, Ethan."

Ethan spoke patiently. "What isn't true?"

"Louise isn't upset!" said Cal. "She's got a date tonight and she's been full of it all day."

"Perhaps he cancelled," said Ethan. "Or perhaps she looked him up on facebook and it turns out he's married with three kids."

Cal shook his head. "No… I saw her leaving the ED just now and she couldn't stop smirking."

Ethan looked sadly at Cal. He didn't know how Cal was going to cope with having his heart broken again. It had taken him so long to get over Taylor and he'd really thought Robyn was different.

Well, obviously Robyn was different from Taylor in that she wasn't a con artist, but Ethan had hoped she really cared for Cal.

"No, I really think this is just typical Robyn," said Cal. "She gets a date; she gets all excited about it; she's really convinced he's the one. But then she has a few dates with him and decides he's not the one after all."

"I'm sure if that happened, Robyn would be honest and tell you it wasn't working," said Ethan. "She's not the type to avoid someone and hope they get the hint. That wouldn't be like Robyn at all."

Cal sighed and rubbed his hands across his face. "Maybe. But she's obviously hiding something if she's lying, isn't she?"

Ethan couldn't argue with that. "I suppose she must be."

"Anyway, forget about me," said Cal. "How was your day?"

"Mixed," admitted Ethan.

"Do you want to talk about it?" said Cal. "Or would you rather tell Honey?"

"I'd be happy to tell you, but Honey's expecting me and I'm already late," said Ethan. "So I really should go." He paused. "If you'll be okay."

"Yeah, I'll be fine," said Cal. "I'm sure I'm just imagining things. I mean, why would Robyn go off me? Why would _anyone_?"

Ethan realised this was just bravado and laughed, rather than giving Cal a hard time as he might previously have done. "I'm really not sure you want to hear my answer to that question, Cal. I'll see you later tonight."

* * *

"How was your day?" said Honey as she settled into the armchair opposite the sofa.

"I didn't make any mistakes like yesterday," said Ethan.

Honey smiled, feeling both relieved and proud. "I knew you wouldn't. It was so brave of you to go back, Ethan."

"I don't know about that," said Ethan. "Faced with the choice of going back or telling Mrs Beauchamp I didn't want to go in today…" He tried to smile. "But don't worry about me. I'd rather talk about you."

Honey loved him for caring so much. "There's nothing much to say really. I'm better than yesterday. Better than I was on the tablets. I'd really much rather talk about you."

Ethan looked unwilling, but he finally sighed. "I was a bit too cautious today. I kept all my patients for longer than I should have done because I was so worried about missing something."

"That's natural after what you've been through," said Honey.

"Maybe, but I should be more professional than that," said Ethan. "I should put my fears aside and think with my brain."

"Sometimes that's not possible," said Honey. "And that's okay."

"It's not okay!" Ethan sounded frustrated, but Honey knew he was frustrated with himself and not with her. "Every time I was offered a choice of which patient to see, I took the easy option. Anything too similar to what happened yesterday, I avoided."

Honey reached out her hand. She couldn't touch him, of course, but it helped her to make the gesture and Ethan smiled slightly when he saw it, accepting the comfort. "Ethan, obviously you can't keep on like that forever, but I think it's good to take things slowly. You had lots of really bad shocks yesterday. You don't want to push yourself too hard after something like that. You need to take things slowly for a bit. Build up your confidence again."

"Thank you, Honey. I love you so much."

"Aw, Ethan! I love you too!" Honey wanted to hug him. She sat still and fixed her eyes on his. Ethan looked back at her, a small smile on his lips. When they finally broke their gaze, Ethan was looking a little bit more relaxed.

"Is it okay if I ask you something?" said Ethan.

"Course it is," said Honey. "And you don't have to ask first."

"No. Of course not. Sorry," said Ethan adorably. "It's just a bit awkward as it concerns Robyn."

Honey felt a faint stab of foreboding, but then she smiled. "You can still ask me. Robyn is my friend, but I'm guessing this is to do with Cal and Cal's basically my family, isn't he?"

"That's true," said Ethan, looking a little bit happier. "The thing is, Robyn's been breaking dates and not giving very convincing explanations. Cal's a bit worried. Do you have any idea what might be wrong?"

Honey shook her head. "She hasn't said anything to me. But the last couple of times I tried to get all the bridesmaids together, Robyn didn't come. She said she was working, but I don't think she was working the second time. Zoe was covering a shift for Dylan and she didn't see Robyn."

Ethan looked concerned. "It is possible she and Zoe kept missing each other – or perhaps she just didn't notice her. I'm often so absorbed in my patients, I don't always notice who's around me. But it sounds like there might be something wrong if she's avoiding all of us."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" said Honey.

"That's very sweet of you, but I'm not sure how she's feel about all of us talking about her behind her back," said Ethan worriedly.

Honey would have laughed if the situation had been less serious. "Yeah, because Robyn never talks about us behind our backs! But don't worry, Ethan. I won't mention speaking to you or Cal. I'll just talk to her. If there is something wrong, I'll be able to tell from her aura anyway."


	70. Chapter 70

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Honey will be provided with a possible explanation for Robyn's behaviour in this chapter - but once she knows, she might end up wishing she didn't know.

 **ETWentHome** , the minor details are important too so I'm really happy you picked up on and liked the fact Cal calls Honey 'little sis'. He really has completely accepted her as part of the family - I thought he would after he went to so much trouble to get Ethan and Honey together! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. Cal might like to think he's experienced, but he's not experienced when it comes to relationships and we all know how the last one ended. He's very confident he can keep a woman's interest for one night, but after that... I hope you enjoy finding out.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , I'm really enjoying writing Robyn and Cal together - they're not the most obvious couple, but I read a story where they were a couple and it worked so well, I decided to try them together too. You'll find out the truth very soon! Assuming a certain person isn't lying. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey was looking forward to seeing her bridesmaids. This time, she'd called Robyn first and arranged a date and time that suited her, then she'd contacted the others and asked them to arrive half an hour later than the time she was expecting Robyn. Lily turned out to be working at that time, but the others were all available.

Ten minutes before Robyn was due to arrive, Honey settled herself in the living room and began to wait.

And wait.

Her fingers itched to text Robyn and ask where she was, but she decided she should wait until Robyn was fifteen minutes late. Delays happened all the time, especially when you worked in a hospital.

As soon as Honey reached the thirteen-minute mark, she wrote Robyn a text. At the fourteen-minute mark, she sent it (fourteen minutes was close enough to fifteen and besides, the clock might be slow). Again, she waited.

No reply – and no Robyn.

Zoe was the first to arrive. She enquired about Honey's symptoms and listened with interest as Honey described them. "How much longer till you can hug Ethan?"

"I've done two weeks now, so I'm halfway," said Honey. "It's weird though. The leaflet they gave me says I only need to stop physical contact for two weeks. It actually says I can go back to work after five days. But every person you see says something different. My entomologist… I know that's not quite right, but you know what I mean… she said probably three weeks, but then I saw some big, high-up entomologist and he said four weeks and if you look online it really varies – some actually say one week."

"Okay, there are a few reasons why that might happen," said Zoe. "I'm not an endocrinologist so I might not come up with the right answer, but all doctors are different. Some will be 99% certain a patient will be okay after one week and that will be enough for them. Others will say they're not going to take any risks even for 1% so they'll be extra-cautious and say four weeks in order to be absolutely sure you're not putting anyone at risk. Most of us are kind of in the middle and would say two or three weeks, but you will always get people at both extremes."

"I think Ethan would say four weeks," said Honey, "but Cal would probably say the chances aren't high enough to worry, though he is actually quite caring so he'd probably say two weeks for most people. But he says I'm his little sister, so he might increase it to three."

"I think that's exactly how they'd react," said Zoe. "But the endocrinologist's decision might also be related to the amount of iodine you were given. My understanding is that the same dose is given to everyone - if it's not enough, you can always have a second dose later. But if your thyroid is very overactive, as your test results showed, it is just about possible they might have started you off with a higher dose. Or perhaps they're extra-careful because most of the people in your life work in a hospital – if someone who has had radio iodine therapy needs emergency medical treatment, we would obviously provide it. A lot of the time, we wouldn't even know – if the patient is in no state to tell us, we're not going to waste time chasing up notes. So even if you're not dangerously radioactive to most people, you could be dangerous to Ethan or Mac or any of us if we've treated someone who's had iodine treatment."

Honey considered this. "I wouldn't want to be dangerous. I'd rather be cautious and make sure they're safe."

Zoe smiled. "Then keep on what you're doing and I'm sure everyone will be fine. Is that the doorbell? I'll get it." Zoe soon returned with Louise and Rita, who'd come straight from work with a message from Lily, who hoped Honey was feeling well and positive.

"Well, I am by my standards!" said Honey. "No, Louise, not too close! I'm still radioactive. I need one of those big danger signs."

Louise laughed nastily. "You should get one of those "Danger: Do Not Enter" ones for Ethan!"

Honey thought about how embarrassed Ethan would be if he'd heard her say that, but she didn't want to start an argument, so she contented herself with smiling at Louise and thinking dark thoughts about her.

"So, we're just waiting for Robyn," said Rita.

Honey nodded. "I hope she does come. I haven't seen her for ages. Was she at work today?"

"No, it was her day off," said Rita. "But it is quite odd. She missed two of our meet-ups in a row and now she's late for this one."

"She was definitely working the first time and she said she was working the other time too," said Zoe. "But it is a bit weird. I suppose I might have missed seeing her, but I don't think it's really likely."

Louise gave Zoe a disparaging look. "You mean you still haven't worked it out?"

"Worked what out?" said Zoe.

"It's obvious," said Louise. "She's got a problem, but she can't talk about it here because of Honey."

Honey gasped.

Zoe spoke in a low voice to Honey – though because of the distance, it was loud enough for Louise to hear. "Ignore her, Honey."

"No, Honey, I think you should listen," said Louise. "I'm not being funny, but if Robyn has a secret she doesn't want to tell Cal, she's going to think twice about saying something in front of Cal's brother's fiancée, isn't she?"

Honey looked down into her lap. She hadn't thought of that, but it did seem likely considering Robyn was avoiding Cal too. "Maybe one of you should talk to her?" she said at last, trying to keep the sadness from her voice.

"I have talked to her," said Louise. "And I know what's wrong, though I knew already. It's so obvious."

"Maybe so, but I don't think you should tell us," said Rita. "If Robyn told you something in confidence, you need to keep it to yourself."

Louise looked unimpressed. "Fine. Whatever. But Robyn's not going to be able to hide this forever: I'm telling you that."

Honey gasped. "Do you mean Robyn's pregnant?"

"Rita says I shouldn't tell you," said Louise self-righteously, but that told Honey everything she needed to know.

"She is pregnant, isn't she?" she said shakily.

Zoe sighed. "I think we all know now, Louise. Honestly, do you ever think before you open your mouth?"

"I could say the same to you," said Louise.

Zoe looked ready to kill her, but then she gave a reluctant smile. "Okay. I guess I deserved that."

"I reckon it's Cal's and she's scared of telling him in case he does a runner," said Louise. She paused. "But it could be some other guy's. I'm not saying she'd cheat, but there might have been someone just before Cal."

Rita jumped in quickly. "I think it's best if we don't discuss this. It's Robyn's business, not ours."

"She'll have to tell Mrs Beauchamp," said Louise. "She's going to want maternity leave, isn't she?"

"But we're not Mrs Beauchamp," said Zoe. "She's under no obligation to tell any of us. Lots of people don't tell anyone until they've had their first scan."

"But they do usually tell the father before then," said Louise. "And she hasn't."

Honey sat silently. She smiled at Rita when she said again that it was Robyn's business, not theirs; she smiled again when Zoe made a comment on how well Honey was looking, but inside, there were no smiles at all.

Robyn was going to have a baby – and she didn't even want it.

Honey wanted a baby more than anything - but she couldn't.

* * *

Ethan watched in concern as Cal walked slowly into the staff room and over to his locker, barely acknowledging Ethan. His shoulders were slumped and there was utter exhaustion on his face. This wasn't particularly unusual: a tough shift could take every ounce of your energy. But Ethan couldn't help thinking it was more than that.

Ethan went over to him. "Cal, how about we pick up a takeaway on the way home?"

Cal spoke without looking at him. "Aren't you going to see Honey?"

That had been the plan, but Ethan had a feeling Honey might not need him as much as Cal did. "Her bridesmaids are probably still with her. They won't want me intruding."

"Bridesmaids?" Cal's face didn't exactly light up. He was too tired and unhappy for that. But a sliver of interest crept into his voice.

Ethan knew Cal was thinking of Robyn. He was fairly sure that Robyn was part of the reason why Cal was so drained.

"I think you should go and see Honey," said Cal with a nonchalance that was far too studied. "I'll go with you. Then maybe I can give the bridesmaids a lift home."

Ethan glanced anxiously at Cal, unsure if this was a good idea or not. If Robyn refused to go with Cal, he would be very upset, but it might be difficult for Ethan to abandon Honey and go home with his brother. But Cal was old enough to make his own decisions "Okay," Ethan said at last. "Just… give me a minute."

He went into the toilets, locked himself into a cubicle and sent a rapid text to Honey. At least, he intended it to be rapid, but there was so much he wanted to say. _Hey, sweetheart. I hope you're not feeling too poorly. If you need me, please let me know, and then nothing will stop me from racing to your side, but I'm very concerned about Cal. I don't suppose you'd mind telling me if Robyn came to see you this afternoon? I can understand if you'd rather not tell me, but it's very important to Cal. Thanks so much, darling. I love you. Ethan xx_

He waited, aware that Honey might not see the text straight away. He heard someone come in and tensed, terrified it might be Cal, but no-one called his name.

Not long afterwards, Honey replied. _Robyn isn't here. She was supposed to come but she didn't. If you need to be with Cal I understand. Love you too xxx_


	71. Chapter 71

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , it will be very hard for Honey to see Robyn's growing baby bump - and it will be hard for Ethan too, especially knowing that his brother is going to be a dad (if Cal is the father) and Ethan isn't. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I try to keep it fresh and full of surprises, but I don't always know if I've succeeded. I am finding this story very difficult, which is why there hasn't been a chapter for over a week! If only Louise could put her foot in her mouth literally instead of figuratively... that would stop her from talking! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Cal was sitting on the sofa where Ethan had left him, looking unhappily down into his lap. He'd barely spoken since Ethan had told him about Honey's text and Ethan had spent the journey home wondering if he'd done the right thing, telling Cal. But he didn't see what else he could have done. If he'd kept quiet, Cal would have insisted on going to Honey's with him and then he'd have seen for himself that Robyn wasn't there – and things could have got very messy if he'd realised Ethan had known already.

Cal half-glanced up and Ethan caught a glimpse of the desolation in his eyes. It hurt Ethan to see his brother like this. Since getting together with Robyn, Cal had been happier than Ethan had ever seen him – perhaps even happier than he'd been with Taylor.

And now, it looked like it was over.

Of course, they couldn't be completely sure it was over. Robyn might have another reason for hiding from Cal. After all, she was also hiding from Honey. It was possible she was avoiding everyone apart from Louise, who was impossible to ignore at times.

Though maybe Robyn was avoiding Honey because she was engaged to Cal's brother…

"Here," said Ethan, putting a cup of tea down in front of Cal. He'd offered a beer, but Cal had shaken his head. The suggestion of tea had only got a shrug, but Ethan had decided to take it as a yes.

Cal glanced at the cup, but made no move to take it. Ethan sat beside him and touched his arm. He wanted to say something, but all he could think of was asking Cal if he was okay and it was very obvious he wasn't.

"I thought she liked me," said Cal, his voice breaking.

"I know," said Ethan. He stroked Cal's arm. "I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, but please don't give up hope yet. It might not be as bad as you think. Maybe next time you see her, she'll explain everything."

"How could she explain this?" demanded Cal. "Okay, we don't _know_ there's someone else. We've got no proof of that. But we have got proof she's lying and why would she lie unless she had something to hide?"

"Well… I don't know," admitted Ethan. "But it's obviously not just you she's avoiding. If she's not spending time with her friends either…"

"We don't know she's avoiding all of them," said Cal. He dragged his hand across one of his eyes. "And even if she is avoiding them, that makes it worse!"

"In what way worse?" asked Ethan gently.

"Because then, if there's something wrong, she's all alone with it!" said Cal as he wiped his other eye. "There's something wrong and she can't tell anyone. Not her boyfriend. Not her friends. I mean, it might just be nothing. If she is cheating on me, then she probably doesn't want to say anything to them till she's officially broken up with me. And if there is someone else, at least she's probably happy." His eyes met Ethan's. "But what if there is something wrong, Ethan? What if something really terrible has happened and there's no-one she can talk to?"

Ethan had to admit he was surprised and moved by Cal's obvious concern for Robyn. It seemed almost as though he preferred the idea of her cheating on him because if she'd met someone special, she was probably happy and that was the most important thing. "I don't know, Cal, but Robyn has other friends. She gets on well with Honey and Louise, but her best friends are Max and Lofty. She might be talking to them."

"I don't think she is," said Cal heavily. "I saw Max and Lofty today and they were both completely normal. Lofty got me on my own later on and asked if _I_ was okay, but I don't think they'd be treating me like a mate if something was wrong with Robyn. I mean, if Robyn's obviously not happy, I'm the obvious explanation, aren't I? Caleb Knight, _womaniser_?"

"Maybe they know what's wrong and they know it's not you," said Ethan.

Cal shook his head. "They wouldn't be that cheerful if there was something wrong with Robyn. Even if they knew it wasn't my fault, you'd expect them to be a bit awkward around me. But they're not."

"She must be doing a very good job of hiding it if she's managing to fool Lofty," observed Ethan.

"Maybe they've hardly seen her," said Cal. "If she's arranging her shifts so they're different from Lofty's; telling them she's with me…" His voice was shaking again. "It's obvious what she's doing. She's met some new guy and she's spending all her time with him and she's avoiding the people she's closest to because she doesn't want them to guess."

Ethan stroked his arm and spoke as soothingly as he could. "Cal, you don't know that and you should know better than anyone that Robyn's not like that."

"Maybe I don't know what she's like," said Cal bitterly. He stood up. "I'm going to my room."

Ethan stood up too and blocked his way. "You can go to your room if you really want to, Cal, but I really don't think being on your own is going to make this any easier."

He didn't expect Cal to listen. He expected Cal to walk around him and go off to his room, but instead he stayed where he was. "I really like her, Ethan. I really, really, really like her. I _love_ her!"

"I know," said Ethan. He put his hands on Cal's arms. "Why don't you sit down again? We can talk or sit in silence or whatever you like, but I don't want you to be alone."

"Why did this have to happen?" said Cal angrily. "Why can't I just meet someone special for once? Why can't I be happy?"

"I don't know," said Ethan, speaking through a lump of emotion. He looked into Cal's tear-filled eyes "You know this is the last thing I wanted to happen?"

"Yeah," said Cal. A tear began to fall, but he swiped it away.

"Come on. Sit down." Ethan pushed him back down onto the sofa. His mind was trying to think of a practical solution to the problem. Perhaps he could speak to Robyn. Or perhaps Honey could. Ethan had been against the idea of that at first as he didn't want to put Honey into the line of fire. But now he could see how much the situation was hurting his brother…

Cal sniffed and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. "I don't know what to do, Ethan. I just don't know what to do!"

Ethan opened his mouth to suggest what he'd just thought of – but then he changed his mind. He could see Cal didn't really want answers now. He needed support. Comfort.

At one time, Ethan would have hesitated to offer it. He and Cal weren't that physically affectionate and it would have felt strange, but things were different now. Cal had been so supportive of Ethan through all the problems Honey had faced and Ethan had lost count of the number of times Cal had held him in his arms.

Ethan opened his arms and wrapped them around Cal, holding him tightly as he began to sob. The sound made Ethan want to cry too, but he knew he had to be strong. His brother needed him.. He loved Robyn, and Robyn was breaking his heart.

"I'm here, Cal," said Ethan. "And we'll work this out. I don't know how, but we'll work this out together."

* * *

Honey didn't know how long she'd been sitting there. It felt like hours, but it probably wasn't. There was an ache inside her that might have been her thyroid upsetting her tummy again, but she didn't think so. It wasn't anything to do with her digestive system. It was an ache where her baby would have been.

She felt more tears sliding down her cheeks but didn't try to wipe them away. There was no point as more would only replace them. At first, she cried silently, but then she started sobbing, harder and harder.

She wanted Ethan. She wanted him so badly.

She wanted to be happy for Robyn, but all she could think of was how much she longed to hold a baby of her own in her arms.

She was still crying when she heard the sound of a key in the lock. At first, she didn't care. Her life was over and she didn't care who knew it. But when the door opened and Big Mac entered the flat, Honey remembered her health and immediately screamed out a warning. "Don't come any closer!"

Big Mac blinked at her in confusion, but at least he stayed by the door. "It's only me, Honey."

"I know," said Honey. She scrambled to her feet and backed away from him. She felt the room spin and hurriedly put out a hand to support herself against the wall. "If it was a burglar, I wouldn't care nearly as much. I'm still radioactive." She started sobbing again. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

Big Mac smiled at her kindly. "Honey, it's okay. Nothing's going to happen to me. I'm indestructible, me."

She heard Noel's voice from behind Big Mac. "Honey, what's going on? Are you okay, love?"

Honey started to walk towards the living room. Her legs felt weak, but she had to make it to her chair. She just had to. "I'm fine. I'm completely fine!" Once she'd made it into the living room, she stood for a moment, clinging to the door. Staying upright was so hard, not just physically, but mentally too. She wanted to collapse to the floor, but she couldn't.

Why had she even come in here anyway? Why hadn't she just gone to her room?

She heard Noel's concerned voice behind her. "Honey?"

Honey let go of the door and staggered towards the chair. "I'm fine, Dad. I'm fine!" she called out, but she didn't sound very convincing and she wasn't surprised when Noel appeared in the doorway, a very worried look on his face.

"What is it, love? What's happened?"


	72. Chapter 72

**Tanith Panic** , they are all very unhappy! They do have lots of lovely people around them who really care about them, but that's making them want to protect each other instead of seeking support. I did plan for a happy ending, but my plans do sometimes change. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , Cal fell hard for Taylor, and Robyn is so much better than Taylor in every way! Poor Robyn is thinking of Cal's reputation rather than the Cal she's got to know. I'm glad you like the way I write Honey's feelings - she could have seemed really whiny and discontented. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Noel stood in the doorway, a desperate look on his face. "Honey, what is it? Look, forget the stupid radioiodine therapy. You need me."

"No, Dad! You can't!" Honey raised a hand to fend him off. She knew from what Zoe had said that she was probably fine now, but she couldn't take any risks. Not with everyone but especially not with her dad.

"I'm sure a few seconds won't hurt me," said Noel.

"No, you can't take the risk!" wailed Honey. "Please don't take the risk."

Noel held his arms out towards her, then let them fall to his sides. "Can you at least tell me what's wrong? How about I call Ethan?"

"No, you can't!" cried Honey. She tried to wipe some of her tears away, but her face remained soaking wet and now her hands were stained with make-up. "Please don't tell Ethan. He mustn't know. He can't know!"

She knew he would have to know eventually. Robyn wouldn't be able to hide the signs of her pregnancy forever and once she had found the courage to tell Cal, Honey couldn't imagine Cal keeping quiet about something as exciting as having a baby. She remembered how much Ethan had fallen in love with the idea of being a father, even though he'd believed he didn't want children yet. It would probably be just the same for Cal.

Whenever Ethan found out, he would be devastated, but if Honey could keep him finding out for another week or so, maybe she'd be used to the idea by then. Maybe it would have stopped hurting enough for her to be able to give Ethan the comfort and support she knew he would need.

And if the truth could be kept from Ethan for another two weeks, then she'd be able to hold him in her arms.

* * *

Ethan watched sadly as Cal pushed his food around his plate. He didn't mind that Cal was unable to eat the food he'd cooked for him – when you were heartbroken, you either didn't want to eat anything or you wanted to eat far too much.

At last, Cal put his fork down on the plate with a sigh and slumped in his chair. "I can't eat any more."

"That's okay," said Ethan. "I'll put it in the fridge and you can see if you fancy it later. If not, I'll throw it away. It's fine."

Cal nodded and sat silently while Ethan went into the kitchen. When he returned, Cal was sitting with his head in his hands.

Ethan sat in the seat beside him and put his arm around him. He wanted to tell Cal it would get easier, but he knew it wouldn't help. The days and hours and minutes Cal would have to get through in order to feel okay again would seem more like years.

"What am I going to do, Ethan?" said Cal into his hands.

Ethan rubbed his shoulder. "Have you thought about asking Robyn what's wrong? You could call her if you don't want to see her."

"She's not answering my calls," said Cal.

"Could you go and see her?" said Ethan.

Cal sighed. "I should. I know I should. But what if she tells me she doesn't want to see me anymore? What do I do then?"

"Then all you can do is learn to deal with it – but I know you can," said Ethan. "You got over Taylor. You can get over Robyn too."

Cal sniffed. "But I'll have to see her at work every day."

"I know," said Ethan. "And it's going to be incredibly tough, but I know you can get through this." His hand tightened on Cal's shoulder. "And you won't have to do it alone. I'll be here. If you ever want to talk or cry or if you need someone to make sure you don't have to work with Robyn, I'll be here."

"Thanks, Ethan." Cal wiped his eyes. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," said Ethan softly. Even though he wanted to be with Honey, he also wanted to be with Cal and he was fairly sure Cal needed him more at the moment.

* * *

"Robyn's pregnant?" said Noel, a look of confusion on his face.

Honey sniffled and nodded.

"Well… that's good, isn't it?" said Noel. Then a thought seemed to strike him. "Oh. You mean it's not Cal's?"

"I don't know," said Honey. "As far as I know, it's Cal's."

"Then it's great news," said Noel gently. "You'll be an auntie, Honey. My little girl, an auntie! And your baby probably won't be very much younger than Robyn's. There will probably only be a year in it. They can be best friends!"

Honey buried her face in her hands.

"What's wrong?" said Noel.

"What do you think?" snapped Honey. She wanted a moment, but Noel said nothing. "Do you really not know, Dad? Do you really seriously not know?" She raised her voice. "What's wrong is that Ethan and I want a baby too!"

"Yes, I know," said Noel, as Honey burst into tears again. "But you will still get to have your baby. You can practise by looking after Robyn's baby."

Honey sobbed loudly. "You really _don't_ get it, do you?"

"I… no. I'm afraid I don't," said Noel.

"Maybe I'm just horrible and jealous, but I can't help it!" cried Honey. "I want a baby. I want a baby more than anyone and I can't. Then she comes along and gets pregnant and she doesn't even want it, but she's going to have a baby and I can't!"

Noel watched her helplessly. "You're not horrible and jealous, Honey. It's natural to feel this way."

"What am I going to do, Dad?" wailed Honey.

"Well… you could talk to Ethan."

Honey almost screamed at him. "Of course I can't talk to Ethan! He's going to find this as upsetting as I do. He can't know, Dad." Her voice became softer; pleading. "Promise me you won't tell?"

* * *

Ethan didn't want to push Cal into anything, but the fact remained they needed to talk. "Cal, I'm really sorry, but what are you going to do tomorrow?"

"Go to work," said Cal without interest.

"Yes," said Ethan patiently, "but what are you going to do about Robyn? I'll try to keep her working with me if you don't want to see her, but you probably can't avoid her completely."

"I don't see why," said Cal with a humourless smile. "She's doing a pretty good job at avoiding me."

Ethan spoke gently. "You do know you'll have to talk to her eventually, don't you?"

Cal sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah. I know. I need to know where I stand."

"So, what do you want to do?" said Ethan. "Give Robyn more time to come to you or would you rather say something yourself?"

"I don't know," said Cal, his gaze focused on his lap. "As long as I don't say anything, I've still got a little bit of hope, you know?"

Ethan nodded understandingly. That was part of the reason why he'd been so slow to ask Honey out – but it wasn't the only reason.

"But it's the hope that's killing me, as much as anything else," admitted Cal. "If Robyn wants to finish with me, I'll be so gutted. But at least then I'll know. At least then I won't be in this limbo, just waiting."

Ethan put his hand over Cal's. "Whatever you decide, I will support you."

Cal gave a small smile. "I know, Ethan. Thanks."

"So, what do you think you'll do?" said Ethan.

"I suppose I'd better talk to her," said Cal unwillingly. "But at the end of the day. If Robyn says it's over, it's going to tear me apart."

"I know," said Ethan, his heart twisting with sympathy.

"I don't know how I'd continue with my work if that happened," said Cal. He sighed. "But I don't know how I'm going to get through a whole shift."

Ethan squeezed Cal's hand and waited until Cal was looking at him. "You can do this. I know you can. I'll keep Robyn away from you if necessary and anytime you need a chat, just come and find me. I might not be available straight away, but I'll be with you as soon as I can." He put his arm around his brother. "I know it's going to be tough, but I also know you can do this. You're strong."

"You're the strong one," said Cal, his voice shaking slightly.

"No. Perhaps I'm the stronger one – though I would beg to differ – but that doesn't mean you're not strong too. And whatever happens, please remember you're not alone."

* * *

Honey lay in her room in the darkness. Noel and Big Mac had gone to bed. There was no sound in the flat.

Or at least, not the sound she wanted to hear.

She could hear Big Mac snoring (Noel always insisted it wasn't him); the faint humming of the fridge; the creaks of the furniture. But she couldn't hear her ringtone or the sound that indicated a text had arrived.

Ethan hadn't contacted her. Not since he'd asked her about Robyn.

Honey could understand why, partly. She knew Cal loved Robyn and he must be devastated that she was ignoring him. But Ethan could still have got in touch; he could still have spared a few minutes to tell her he loved her. A few minutes to check she was okay.

But he hadn't.

More than once, Honey had picked up her phone and gone to phone him. More than once, she'd written a text. But she'd always changed her mind.

Cal was going through a lot and Honey didn't want to be selfish.

But that did mean she was alone.


	73. Chapter 73

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , it must be really awful being a parent and not being able to hug your child - Noel just wants to make everything better and he can't! I'm glad Honey is coming across sympathetically - she can be a little bit whiny, but she's really struggling too. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , all Noel wanted was to help Honey see the positives, but sometimes there aren't any. Poor Robyn... I don't think anyone's very pleased with her at the moment! Cal has been wary even of casual relationships since Taylor. He probably thought Robyn could never hurt anyone. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I'm looking forward to Honey being able to hug again but also dreading it as it won't be easy to describe! I'm glad Honey seems caring. Cal and Robyn won't be able to avoid each other indefinitely, but it's not going to be an easy conversation

* * *

"You'll be okay," whispered Ethan as he and Cal walked towards cubicles.

Cal didn't look convinced.

"I'll do everything I can to make sure you don't have to work with Robyn," promised Ethan.

Cal gave Ethan a small smile, but he still looked sad. Ethan didn't think anything would make Cal look happy, apart from the revelation that he was worrying about nothing.

"Dr Knight," said a voice from behind them.

Ethan would have smiled at the guilt that came to Cal's face more as a reflex than anything. His brother hadn't even done anything this time, but when Connie said your name like that, you immediately started checking your conscience to see what you might have done wrong. Even Ethan did it and he usually only broke the rules at Cal's request - and only then with the greatest reluctance.

"Nurse Miller is late for her shift," said Connie. "I understand you might know something about it."

Ethan cringed. He wanted to give Cal a hug, but he knew it would be a mistake to draw attention to him like that.

"It's not my fault," said Cal. "If I was the one who made her tired last night, I'd have brought her into work with me. But I wasn't and I didn't."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Connie gave no outward sign that she'd noticed an atmosphere, apart from possibly a slight softening of her voice. "I see. Thank you, Dr Knight." She walked off a little more quickly than usual, as though she'd realised she'd pierced Cal's heart with both stilettos.

Ethan waited till she'd gone and put his arm around Cal, giving him a very quick hug.

Cal's shoulders were drooping. "How am I going to get through this, Ethan? What if we have to work with each other? What if everyone keeps asking me about Robyn? What do I say?"

Ethan wished he had enough experience of relationships to provide an answer. "I can tell Mrs Beauchamp you're ill, if you like."

Cal looked for a moment like he might agree, but then he smiled almost convincingly and shook his head. "No. I've got to do my job and I don't think sitting at home will do me any good. But thanks, Ethan. I appreciate it."

* * *

Throughout the morning, Ethan kept an eye out for Cal. When he did see him, he didn't do anything as obvious as asking him if he was all right, but his anxious looks in Cal's direction were rewarded with small smiles that reassured Ethan that Cal was coping if nothing else.

It was almost eleven when Ethan saw Robyn. If she was in uniform, he would have assumed she'd been there for some time, but she was dressed in her normal clothes. Ethan thought she looked pale and not particularly happy, but for once, he was firmly in his brother's corner and saw his brother as the victim.

All the same, he felt he ought to warn Robyn that Connie had been looking for her.

"It's okay: I arranged with Rita to come in late and stay late," said Robyn. She sounded much as normal. But the way she left Ethan so suddenly without making even the smallest attempt to engage him in conversation told him that Robyn wasn't as okay as she wanted to appear.

Either that or speaking to Cal's brother was a very long way down her To Do list.

"Dr Hardy, don't you have any work to do?" Connie had crept up on him again.

"Um, yes, Mrs Beauchamp."

"Then I think you should go and do some, don't you?"

* * *

Honey opened the door and tried to smile at Lily. "Hey, Lily. Come in." She moved backwards to give Lily some space and they went into the living room.

"Have you spoken to Robyn?" asked Lily.

Honey shook her head. "She hasn't got in contact with me and to be honest, I don't really want to be the one to tell her Louise blabbed."

"I think perhaps Louise does not always mean to be unkind, but it is easy sometimes to say the wrong thing," said Lily. "I believe I have similar problems to Louise - clearly to a more severe extent as Louise is more popular than I am - but I am trying to improve my social interaction."

Honey smiled. "And you are better! Seriously, Lily. You were never as bad as Louise. You don't blurt out secrets (which I'm always doing) and you don't sneer at people like Louise does. You were just kind of, you know, really professional all the time. I reckon you're just shy. And that's okay. Ethan's shy and I love Ethan!"

Lily smiled too. "I'm glad to hear I have improved. I never thought of myself as shy and I don't believe I am shy when I am working, but in social interaction, perhaps. Thank you for your support, Honey."

"Anytime," said Honey. "If I could, I'd give you the biggest hug right now!"

Lily looked as though she didn't know what to say, but she didn't seem displeased.

"I'm actually quite glad Louise told us," admitted Honey.

Lily looked confused. "But it must be so upsetting for you."

"It is," said Honey. "But I'm kind of glad it was Louise and not Robyn: do you know what I mean? If Robyn had told me out of nowhere, I might not have reacted very well. But now I'm like, prepared. So when Robyn does tell me, I'm less likely to freak out."

Lily gave her a penetrating look. "How can you prepare yourself for something like that?"

It was a fair question. Honey had wondered the same thing. "I don't know. I already know Robyn's pregnant, so it's not like it's going to be a big shock if she tells me. But what else is she going to say? If she says it might not be Cal's, I don't see how I'm going to be prepared for that. Robyn's my friend and I love her, but Cal's like, family. I don't want anyone treating my family like that."

"But we don't know that Robyn has been cheating on Cal," said Lily. "It is most likely to be Cal's baby."

"If it's Cal's baby, I don't know why she's keeping quiet though," said Honey.

"Because she is concerned about his reaction," said Lily. "With Cal's history, it would be surprising if he had not fathered a baby before now, yet he has no obvious contact with any child. This might simply mean he has been lucky or that the mother made the decision not to contact him. But it could also mean he abandoned his children and refused them support."

Honey thought about this and shook her head. "No. I don't think Cal's like that. I used to think he was a bit like that, but I know him better now. He's been so supportive of me and Ethan. I can't imagine him doing anything like that."

"But it is possible to be a good friend and a good brother and yet a bad boyfriend and father," said Lily.

Honey couldn't argue with that, but she shook her head stubbornly. "I don't think so. I _know_ Cal."

"But it is possible Robyn is hiding the truth from him because she has doubts about him," said Lily.

"But why would she?" said Honey.

"Because unplanned pregnancy can make you feel vulnerable and afraid and doubt all the things you felt sure of before," said Lily. "It's partly hormonal and partly a fear of the unknown. You remember, Honey, when you thought you were pregnant, you had doubts about how Ethan would respond."

"Only because he told me he didn't want kids yet," said Honey, unable to prevent a flush of shame. How could she ever have thought something that bad about Ethan? He was the loveliest man ever. Followed by Noel and Cal.

"It's possible Cal has told Robyn he doesn't want to have kids yet," said Lily. "I believe her concerns are understandable even if they are unfounded. Cal has a reputation and Robyn has confidence issues."

Honey looked away. Perhaps Lily had a point about that. After all, if she could doubt Ethan, the sweetest man in the world, she could see why Robyn might worry about Cal's reaction to fatherhood. "So, what should I do about Robyn? I feel like I should support her and reassure her, but I… I can't, Lily." Her eyes filled with tears. "I do care about Robyn. I want her to know that Cal loves her. But… but I want a baby so much and those feelings are so strong and it's like I can't get past them."

Lily watched helplessly as Honey started to cry. "I'm sorry, Honey. It must be very difficult to be in your situation."

"It's just so unfair," sobbed Honey. "But is it unfair really? Or am I the one who's being unreasonable? Robyn probably feels so awful right now. So alone and unable to trust Cal. But I'm jealous of her, Lily. I'm so, so jealous. And if I try to talk to her about it, I'm so scared those feelings will come out and I'll end up making her feel worse. It's not Robyn's fault I can't have a baby. It's probably not even Robyn's fault I feel like this."

"Have you told Ethan?" asked Lily.

"How can I?" wept Honey. "He wants a baby too. He'll be devastated that his brother got there first. Maybe he'll cope with this better than me: maybe he'll see it isn't Cal's fault and just support him without being jealous, but what if it really hurts him? It's like a knife twisting inside me and I don't want Ethan to know what that feels like."

"He is going to find out," said Lily. "He's going to notice when Robyn's pregnancy becomes more advanced."

"I know, but by then, maybe it won't be so bad?" said Honey. "If I can wait till after the treatment, I'll be able to hug him. If I can wait till my blood test six weeks later, at least we'll know we'll be on the way the way to conceive our baby and we won't have to worry that I might need the same treatment again. I've just got to wait till then, Lily." She started to cry even harder. "But it feels like such a long time!"


	74. Chapter 74

**CBloom2** , I think Ethan is stronger than a lot of people think - there's just something so sweet and vulnerable about him that makes Cal and Honey (and me!) want to protect him from the truth. Unfortunately, that makes it worse because it gives him two things to be upset about instead of one! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I love that everyone is tending to think the best of both Cal and Robyn, even when you don't agree with what Robyn is doing. Paradoxilla asked me to make Honey pregnant months ago - I can't do it myself, but I'm hoping I can persuade Ethan to oblige as he's better-equipped than me.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. When I started writing this story, I thought Honey was a warm and caring person - I don't really like the 'real' Honey anymore, though she can be fun to write as a villain, but I'm really happy everyone still likes this version of her. She did have some lovely qualities at first.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , Robyn should definitely tell Cal about the baby. Whether he's the father or not, he is Robyn's boyfriend. Robyn must be terrified though - she knows him well enough to know she doesn't want to lose him, but evidently not well enough to feel sure of his feelings. Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for all your reviews. I'm glad the story is making more sense - it is difficult sometimes when the characters have secrets and in fanfiction, you can't always skip ahead to find out! Cal does need to know what's going on - and I'm sure he'd rather be told by Robyn than see the physical changes for himself.

 **is-there-somewhere-x** , I'm glad you like the Honey and Lily scenes. They hated each other earlier in the story, but I like writing them as friends. It's lovely when two such different people learn to appreciate each other's qualities and I'm glad you like the way I'm writing it. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan knew immediately that something was wrong. Even before he saw the tears threatening to spill from Cal's eyes. "Cal, what's happened?" he whispered.

Cal's voice was small and thin. "Can we talk? Please?"

"Yes, of course," said Ethan.

It was early to take a break, but Cal didn't look capable of working and if he was going to get back into a frame of mind where he could work, he was going to need Ethan's support.

Ethan felt in his pocket, relieved to find he had his car keys. "Can you wait for me in the car? I just need to discharge a couple of patients. I'm sorry for putting work first, but I don't want Mrs Beauchamp to come looking for me because my patients are breaching."

"Thank you," said Cal and touched Ethan's arm before hurrying towards the exit. Ethan hoped he'd get to the car without being stopped by anybody. Although they'd be able to see for themselves that Cal needed a break, Ethan knew Cal would prefer it if no-one but Ethan knew how upset he was.

Ethan tried not to hurry too much over discharging his patients, but he was almost running as he made his way out of the hospital and across the car park. He tried to ignore a slight fear that Cal might have pulled his usual trick of running away – taking Ethan's car with him – but to his relief, the car was still in the parking space and Cal was in the passenger seat.

Ethan climbed into the driver's seat and looked sympathetically at Cal. "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

Cal wiped some of the tears from his face. "Robyn broke up with me."

Even though he'd half-expected it, Ethan still felt as though Robyn had walloped him in the solar-plexus – and that was probably only a fraction of what Cal was feeling. Ethan felt almost tearful himself as he put his arm around Cal. "I'm sorry, Cal. I really am sorry."

Cal moved as close to him as the gap between the seats allowed. "Thanks for being here."

"What are brothers for?" said Ethan. He waited to see if he'd volunteer any more information, but none came. "Did she give a reason?"

"Just that things weren't working out," said Cal.

Ethan rubbed his shoulder. "I don't know why she'd think that." He wasn't sure why he was so convinced Cal had treated Robyn well. He hadn't been present on every date and it wasn't impossible Cal had returned to his old habit of flirting with anything that moved – but Ethan didn't believe it. Cal _loved_ Robyn.

Cal sighed. "Something was obviously wrong if she doesn't want to be with me."

"She was lucky to have you," said Ethan fiercely.

"And I was lucky to have her," said Cal sadly as another tear fell.

Ethan held him more tightly for a moment. "Cal, I'm really sorry and I'm not trying to rush you, but do you think you'll be able to go back to work? Because if not, I should probably take you home quite soon."

Cal shook his head and wiped his face on his sleeves. "I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" said Ethan. "You've had a shock and you might not be able to avoid Robyn."

Cal looked sad. "It wasn't a shock, Ethan. It was what I expected. And I don't think I'll have any trouble avoiding Robyn. She's obviously doing everything she can to avoid me."

Ethan felt sad too. He'd really believed Robyn loved Cal. "Okay, but come and find me if you need to go home. I can cover for you."

"Nibbles is offering to cover for me?" Cal was trying to smile. "I'm not sure I should refuse an offer like that. But I'll be fine. We'd better be getting back."

Reluctantly, Ethan nodded.

He wished he could believe Cal would be okay.

* * *

Ethan was doing his best to avoid Robyn, but when she called for help from inside a cubicle and Cal and Ethan were the only doctors nearby, Ethan knew he didn't have a choice. He examined Robyn's patient, who'd suddenly lost consciousness, and decided he needed to go to Resus. Ethan and Robyn kept their conversation professional as they worked to save the patient and left Resus together when the patient was ready to be transferred.

They walked side by side, but Ethan kept his gaze straight ahead and didn't say a word to Robyn. She'd worked well and been very helpful, but all he could think of was what she'd done to Cal.

Robyn finally broke the silence. "Ethan… we are okay, aren't we?"

"Do you expect us to be?" snapped Ethan. "You broke my brother's heart, for goodness' sake!"

He saw the shock on Robyn's face.

Ethan didn't want to feel guilty, but he did. "Robyn… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I do think you've treated Cal terribly, but I shouldn't be rude."

"You don't know the full story," muttered Robyn.

"Then tell me the full story?" said Ethan.

Robyn looked at him for a moment. Her expression was almost pleading.

But what did she want him to do? To listen? To understand? Or to stop asking?

"Shall we go to the staff room?" suggested Ethan, hoping Cal wouldn't be there.

Robyn looked at him for a moment longer, then she shook her head. "Sorry, Ethan. I have to get back to work."

"If you do want to talk…" said Ethan. If she told him what was wrong and it turned out she'd got the wrong end of the stick somehow, maybe she and Cal would be able to get back together.

"I don't think that's a good idea," said Robyn.

* * *

Honey sat and cried while Lily tried to make her feel better. She wanted to stop crying and tell Lily she was fine. She didn't want her friend to worry and it wasn't the best way to behave when you had guests. But she couldn't stop.

"Perhaps Ethan won't be upset," said Lily.

"But if he's not upset, that means he doesn't want a baby!" sobbed Honey.

"No… no, I don't think it means that," said Lily uncertainly. "It might mean he's accepted you can't have a baby yet and he's happy for it to happen… when it happens."

Honey cried some more.

"Or perhaps… perhaps it is a false alarm," said Lily. "Robyn thinks she is pregnant, but she is not."

Honey got three more tissues from the box next to her and buried her face in them.

"Or perhaps…" Lily was clearly floundering now. "Perhaps when it is all official and no longer a secret, you will find you don't mind anymore."

"What's the chance of that?" wailed Honey.

"Perhaps…" There was a long pause. "Perhaps you and Ethan don't really want a baby."

"Of course we really want a baby!" screamed Honey.

"Of course. Yes. I understand," said Lily.

Honey felt terrible for shouting at her. Lily was doing her best – and it wasn't as though comforting came easily to her. She tried to stop crying, but her sobs came rhythmically and quickly and she could no more have stopped it than her own heartbeat.

"I could call Ethan," said Lily.

"I can't tell him what's wrong!" blubbered Honey.

"No. Of course not," agreed Lily. "But I could call Noel. Perhaps that is what you need now. A parent."

"He's working!" Honey dropped her tissues in her lap and got some more.

"I'm sure he will come home if you need him," said Lily.

Honey cried some more.

"Oh, Honey," said Lily softly. "I wish there was something I could do. Would you… would you like me to make you a cup of tea?"

"Okay," sniffled Honey. "Thank you." She waited till Lily had gone, then she took a deep breath and blew her nose. She remembered Ethan saying something to her about breathing in through her mouth and out through her nose when she was upset. She repeated the process before wondering if it was meant to be the other way round, but this way seemed to be working, so she decided it must be right.

She had to be calm. She was devastated, but if she kept crying, Ethan would know there was something wrong. When Ethan found out, he was going to be devastated too and he would need to look after Cal, which meant Honey would have to be the one who supported Ethan. She wouldn't be able to do that if she was crying.

By the time Lily returned with the tea (which wasn't quite the right colour, but Honey decided she wouldn't be fussy), Honey was almost calm. She retreated to the far side of the room while Lily put her tea down beside the sofa, then she came back to sit down once Lily was safely out of the way.

"Thanks, Lily," said Honey. "For the tea. For being here. For being you."

Lily looked a bit surprised, but she smiled. "You're welcome, Honey. You are my friend and I will always do my best to support you and Ethan."

"I know you will," said Honey. She wondered if Lily was still in love with Ethan, but she didn't want to embarrass her by asking and besides, Lily was a very sensible and intelligent girl. Of course she was going to be in love with Ethan! The entire female population of the ED was probably in love with him, except for Zoe, who only had eyes for Max (hen nights aside) and Rita, who was probably a lesbian (Honey had heard rumours about her kissing Dixie). Honey actually thought Rita fancied Iain, but maybe she had a thing for all paramedics.

"I am not always good at saying the right things," said Lily, "but I will always listen."

"Maybe you don't always say the right things, but you _mean_ all the right things," said Honey. "That's more important really, isn't it?"

Lily looked as though she hadn't thought of it like that. She smiled slightly. "Yes. Perhaps it is."

Honey managed to smile too. "There is actually something you can do for me. Something really important."

"Then I will do it," said Lily firmly.

"It's just, I'm hoping Ethan won't find out about Robyn till I can hug him," said Honey. "But if I can't, will you like, hug him for me?"

Lily looked startled, but she nodded. "Yes, Honey. Of course I will."


	75. Chapter 75

**is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked Cal and Robyn together - I feel a bit mean about splitting them up! But I'm certainly not ruling out a happy ending. They do love each other and Robyn is probably thinking too much about the old Cal and forgetting the new one, who loves her.

 **westlife4ever80** , I'm glad you and so many other people like Cal and Robyn as a couple and are sad they've broken up - I wonder if anything might happen between them in the show, though I think the writers might be working towards getting Robyn and David together. Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , it is a shame that Dixie and Rita's kiss didn't go anywhere - it would have been a really interesting storyline, but even their friendship seemed to fizzle out after that. Maybe Rita felt awkward and embarrassed. I'm glad you like that Lily agreed to Honey's request. I wasn't sure about that bit! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , I don't think anything much can prepare you for being dumped by someone you love! I think the situation with Honey has really helped to bring Cal and Ethan together - and I'm glad it has, as we all needed some brotherly love! I wasn't expecting Honey and Lily to become friends though! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. That's a really good point about Lily hugging Ethan - I'd momentarily forgotten that Lily likes him so I think Honey must have forgotten too! I don't think Lily would set out to steal Ethan away, but hormones are funny things! I think a completely selfless Honey would probably be unrealistic, but this one really does care about her family and friends. Cal will find out about Robyn in the next couple of chapters.

* * *

Ethan didn't want to leave Cal. He'd just about managed to get through his shift, but now he was exhausted and depressed. Ethan agreed he needed to go home rather than going to the pub with the others, but he didn't think it would do Cal any good to be on his own.000

"Why don't you come and see Honey with me?" suggested Ethan tentatively. "I know Honey would love to see you and it's not like we're going to be kissing all over the place."

Cal sighed. "But you're still the happy couple, aren't you? You two don't even need to hug. It's like you're having sex with your brains sometimes."

Ethan blushed. "We think it more as hugging with our eyes."

"Yeah, you would, wouldn't you?" But Cal couldn't muster a smile. "Thanks for the offer, but I'd really rather go home."

Ethan looked at his brother again. Cal was in control, but Ethan had the impression he could break at any time. "I'll call Honey and explain you need me. She'll understand."

Cal shook his head morosely. "Please don't, Ethan. Honey needs you a lot more than I do. I'll be fine."

"How about if I ask Lofty to come over?" suggested Ethan.

"Robyn's best mate?" Cal's voice took on a slight edge of sarcasm. " _That's_ not going to be awkward, is it?"

"Then how about…" Ethan's imagination failed him.

Cal forced a smile. "It's okay. I'd much rather be on my own. I'll just watch a film or read a magazine or something."

"Okay," said Ethan unwillingly. "If that's what you want"

* * *

Honey seemed quite cheerful, but her eyes looked swollen. Ethan hugged her with his eyes and wished he could do more. "Did something happen, darling? Or was it just another horrible day?"

"Just another horrible day," said Honey.

Ethan tried to ignore the voice inside him telling him it was definitely a bit more than that. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Lily was here," said Honey. "She's not you, but she was really sweet."

Ethan did his absolute best not to look surprised. "I'm glad you and Lily are friends."

"Yeah, it's not something I expected to happen," admitted Honey. "The only thing we really have in common is fancying the pants off you and we can't really talk about that."

"Oh, I'm sure Lily doesn't fancy the p…" Ethan stopped, blushing.

"Of course she does!" said Honey. "But she's lovely. You've just got to look past what she says sometimes and see what she really means."

Ethan looked at her admiringly. Anyone who thought Honey was stupid really didn't know her very well.

"She's just shy," said Honey.

"I wouldn't have said she was…" Ethan stopped and thought for a moment. "Yes, maybe you're right. She's very confident professionally, but much less so socially. I should have realised it was shyness and been more supportive."

"Ethan, you can't blame yourself for not having feminine inquisition," said Honey.

Ethan smiled. "While I doubt that intuition is exclusively feminine, it certainly isn't one of my gifts." He paused. "But are you sure you're okay, darling? You do know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know," said Honey. "It's just awkward sometimes with girly chats."

"Oh, yes. I quite understand," said Ethan, more than ready to back away from the subject, but then a thought crossed his mind.

Would Honey know something about Robyn?

"I just got a bit upset like I usually do," said Honey. "But I talked to Lily and I did that breathing thing and it helped."

"Breathing thing?" said Ethan.

"Yeah, when you breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose," said Honey.

Ethan wanted to jump over the gap separating them and kiss her. He couldn't, of course, but for once, he felt too charmed to get upset over it. "Um, Honey, it's usually done the other way around. In through your nose and out through your mouth."

"Is it?" said Honey. "Well, it works my way too. It's actually a lot less trouble than sniffing for hours afterwards."

"Yes, I can, er, imagine," said Ethan. "Well done. You're a medical pioneer."

"A what?" said Honey. "Isn't that where everyone hates you?"

"I think you're thinking of a pariah," said Ethan. "A pioneer is someone who is the first to try out a new idea."

"Oh. I like that then," said Honey. "I can't wait to tell my dad. I bet I'm the only barrister in the world who's a medical pariah."

"Yes, I'm sure you are," said Ethan adoringly. "And you might be the only barista who's a medical pioneer."

Honey giggled. "I love it when you repeat everything I say!"

"Well… some things are so important, they're worth mentioning twice," said Ethan.

Honey reached for her phone. "Do you mind if I text all my bridesmaids and tell them you called me a medical pariah?"

"I, er…" Ethan groped for something to say. He didn't want to be fussy and correct everything Honey said. but he thought sending out a message like that might give rather the wrong impression. "Um, how are your bridesmaids? Did Lily have any gossip for you?"

Honey raised her heavily-pencilled but still very attractive eyebrows. "Lily? Gossip? I'm working on it, but it's going to take a bit of time. It's a whole new skill for her. Like if I tried to treat a cardiac tampon thingy like what you had, I probably wouldn't get it first time either."

"It… it might take a little bit of training first," said Ethan. "So, um, you didn't talk about the others at all?"

Honey's eyes slid away from them. "We probably mentioned them in passing, yeah."

 _She knew something_.

Ethan wasn't usually that good at picking up on things like that, but it was obvious. "Honey, it's okay. I know about Robyn."

Honey's eyes widened to their fullest extent. "You _know_?"

"Cal told me today," said Ethan. "He's devastated."

Honey's shock gave way to confusion. "Devastated? You mean there _was_ someone else?"

Ethan had a feeling it wasn't unlikely, but there was no actual evidence for that. "Not as far as I'm aware."

"But he's… devastated?" whispered Honey.

"Of course he is," said Ethan, rather surprised by her reaction. "Why wouldn't he feel devastated? I'd feel exactly the same way in his position. I mean, Cal was so happy with Robyn and then she did _this_."

Honey sat up very straight. "But we're not in that position, are we? We're like, engaged. So if it happened to us, would you be devastated?"

"Of course I would!" exclaimed Ethan. Again, he wanted to cuddle her close. "I can't imagine anything more awful."

Honey stood up slowly. She was trembling. "Ethan, I think you'd better go."

" _What?_ " said Ethan. He ran his mind back over what he'd just said, wondering if there was an alternative interpretation that was less than complimentary, but all he'd done was tell Honey he'd be devastated if she broke up with him. What was wrong with that?

"Just go!" said Honey. She ran out of the room. He heard her bursting into tears.

"Honey!" Ethan raced after her, but her bedroom door had already slammed closed. "Honey, please tell me what I said! I don't understand!"

Noel's bedroom door opened. "Ethan, what's going on?"

"I've really upset Honey," said Ethan. "I didn't mean to. It just happened." He thought he might burst into tears too in a minute. "I… I'd better go. You'll talk to her, won't you? Please?"

* * *

It took Ethan a while to get home. He knew he was in no state to drive, so he parked around the corner from Noel's flat and cried for a good twenty minutes. He was just getting around to thinking about driving home when the police arrived, saying his car had been reported as suspicious. Ethan would have thought that the state of his eyes and the pile of tissues in his lap would have made it very clear what he'd been doing, but the policeman was young and apparently new to his job so he understandably wanted to be very thorough.

He made Ethan explain exactly what had happened (which nearly started Ethan off crying again until he realised he wasn't asking about Honey) and he received a very suspicious look when he explained his desire to park the car was due to a concern his distressed state of mind might lead him to cause an accident.

At last, the policeman seemed to realise Ethan wasn't much of a threat and let him go with a warning to be careful where he parked his car in future, but the experience didn't exactly help Ethan to feel better.

He drove back to the flat and went straight into the bathroom to wash his face, but it didn't do much good. On any other day, he might have got away with going to lie down in a darkened room and claiming a headache, but today, Cal needed him. Ethan considered swapping his glasses for his prescription sunglasses and trying a different version of the headache lie, but he didn't think he could muster the energy.

Cal was in the living room, watching TV.

"How are you?" asked Ethan, his voice steady enough but not really sounding like his.

Cal half-glanced up, then looked again. He got to his feet. "Ethan, what's wrong?"

That was all it took to make Ethan start crying again. "Honey broke up with me."

"What?" Cal caught Ethan firmly in his arms. "Why?"

"I don't know!" cried Ethan. "Everything was fine and then…." He tried to regain some control. "But it doesn't matter. You've had a much worse day than me."

"How is being dumped by your girlfriend worse than being dumped by your fiancée?" said Cal.

Ethan shook his head helplessly. "I don't know, Cal. I don't know anything! It was… out of nowhere."

"Okay." Cal moved his hands up and down Ethan's arms. "Come on, Nibbles. Sit down." He sat beside Ethan. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"


	76. Chapter 76

_Thank you so much for all the reviews - it's lovely to have so many! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. The next few chapters will be a bit different as the POV jumps around a lot more than usual. I'm having trouble with the lines I use as paragraph breaks - they keep disappearing - so I hope it's clear when the POV changes._

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I haven't written the scene where Ethan tells Cal everything as it would just repeat information, but as I hope I've made clear, they did talk. I think Ethan knows no-one would believe him for a second if he said everything was okay! Also, he needs his brother.

 **Panicatcasualty123** , you're right - they aren't on the same page and now they've really hurt each other and they have no idea what's wrong. I'm sure they'd both want to sort things out if they realised they'd misunderstood each other, but they'll have to figure out what went wrong first! Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. It can be very difficult when you're talking about secrets - you do kind of tend to hint first in case the other person doesn't know and only then begin talking about it openly. It's not a bad thing as it shows loyalty to the person whose secret it is, but it can create a great big mess!

 **ETWentHome** , I'm afraid it will take at least a couple of chapters to sort this one out! Even if one of them suspects, they'll still have to get the other one to talk to them, which won't be easy. It probably is a 'simple misunderstanding' - it would be so much more difficult to deal with a genuine clash of ideas! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm so happy I've surprised you again! I do worry my stories are predictable as I love a good hurt/comfort scene so it's good to know when I've surprised someone. 'Hugging with your eyes' is certainly much nicer than Cal's 'having sex with your brains', which sounds slightly disgusting! Thank you for your review.

 **CBloom2** , thank you for your review. Much as I like (horrible as it sounds) to see Cal and Ethan unhappy, I'm not going to write another chapter where they do nothing but cry over each other - I'm going to start things moving in this chapter so they're getting towards finding things out. Though that's not to say they aren't going to suffer.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , misunderstandings like this are very difficult, especially as Cal and Ethan were upset and vulnerable to start with - Ethan has been worrying a lot about Cal and Honey, while Honey's hormones are all over the place. At least they've got each other though! Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to **Panicatcasualty123** for the favourite._

* * *

The next morning, Ethan collapsed into a dining chair and looked despondently at his toast. Slowly, aware that any sudden movement would jar his head, he turned to look at Cal. "Thanks. For making breakfast, I mean. But for everything really. For listening. For not freaking out when I cried."

"Anytime, Ethan." Cal was pale, with shadows under his eyes. "And it's not like you didn't do the same for me." He slid a packet of painkillers across the table to Ethan. "You might need a couple of these."

"Thanks," said Ethan again. He swallowed a couple of the pills and looked back at his breakfast. He closed his eyes, feeling the throb of his headache and wondered if he could convince himself he was too ill to work. Whether the headache had been caused by excessive crying, lack of sleep or the beers he and Cal had consumed last night, he really couldn't say he felt well.

"We could always call in sick," said Cal, a sliver of hope in his tired, slightly puffy eyes.

"We can't." Ethan was grateful for the chance to say it aloud. Perhaps then he could convince himself too. "The hospital needs us and I'm sure we'll be okay. We just need something to take our mind off things."

* * *

Noel stood in the doorway to Honey's room, his face creased with worry. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

Honey shook her head and tried to smile. She couldn't. She felt broken; shattered; damaged beyond repair. There was nothing Noel could do to make it better Nothing anyone could do. "I'll be okay, thanks, Dad. I know you love me and you're here for me. That's all I need."

Noel didn't look any less anxious. "Promise you'll phone me if there is anything I can do?"

"I promise," whispered Honey. The tears were starting again. They'd barely stopped. She blinked in an effort to stop Noel from seeing them, but one escaped, running down her cheek. She brushed it away, but she knew Noel had noticed.

"Let me stay," said Noel. He sounded almost as though he might cry too. "Let me look after you, Honey."

It was all Honey could do not to sob. "Please, Dad. Go to work. I really will be fine and I would feel so terrible if you got into trouble for taking too much time off. I know you love your job and you're brilliant at it. Please go to work."

* * *

Ethan didn't know how he was even here. His head was still pounding and every time he saw a happy couple, he wanted to cry. He avoided going near reception as much as he could, convinced Noel must hate him for what he'd unknowingly done to Honey.

He felt tears threatening again and stopped outside cubicles. It might be a misunderstanding, he told himself. Perhaps Honey would realise he would rather die than hurt her and then everything would be all right.

He didn't hold out much hope though.

Ethan took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. He was aware someone wearing scrubs was walking towards him, but he couldn't see who it was and couldn't bring himself to care until the person suddenly pitched forwards.

Ethan dropped his glasses and threw himself forwards, trampling his glasses on the way but reaching the person just in time. He froze momentarily when he realised it was Robyn, but then his professional instincts returned almost immediately. "Robyn? Robyn, can you hear me?" She was unconscious, but she was breathing. Her heartrate was slightly slow but what he would have expected.

Ethan raised his voice. "Can I have some help out here, please?"

* * *

When the phone rang, Honey hoped it was Ethan. Then she hoped it wasn't Ethan. Then she had no idea if she wanted it to be Ethan or not.

She loved him. She wanted him back. But how could she take him back after what he'd said?

The call was from Lily. Honey hesitated before answering it. She didn't want to worry Lily, but she felt so alone. She wanted to know someone was there. "Hey, Lily."

"Honey. How are you?"

"I'm okay," said Honey. Her voice shook slightly, but perhaps Lily wouldn't notice. She wasn't always good at picking up on things like that. "How are you?"

"Honey, what's wrong?" said Lily.

Honey sniffled. "Nothing."

"I can tell something is wrong," said Lily. "Though I had deduced that already as Ethan has obviously been crying."

"Has he?" said Honey, almost unable to bear the thought of Ethan in tears, but she hardened her heart. She hadn't meant to upset him, but how could she have stayed with him after what he'd said?

Lily's voice was close to being gentle. "What has happened, Honey?"

This was all it took for Honey to burst into tears. "It's over!"

* * *

Ethan wasn't sure he'd ever forgive Robyn for the way she'd treated Cal, but for the moment, she was a patient and his personal feelings were irrelevant. He and Lofty helped Robyn into an empty cubicle and Ethan spoke gently and kindly to her, trying to pretend she and Cal were together and happy.

Once Lofty had brought him his spare glasses, Ethan checked her over and asked what she'd been doing immediately prior to feeling faint.

"I was standing outside with Max and he was smoking," said Robyn. "It made me cough and I felt a bit sick, so I came inside."

"Coughing," said Ethan thoughtfully. "Did you cough a lot?"

"Yeah, I coughed pretty hard," said Robyn, looking slightly embarrassed. "I don't usually."

Ethan nodded. "I would like to rule out a few other conditions, such as low blood sugar, before I make a definite diagnosis, but it sounds like vasovagal syncope is a possibility – you mentioned feeling lightheaded, having tunnel vision and feeling cold before you fainted. In addition, violent coughing can cause your blood pressure and heartrate to fall, which can lead to fainting." He paused, going slightly red. "As I'm sure you know. I'm so sorry: I'm not used to treating nurses."

"I'm exactly the same when I treat doctors," said Lofty with a reassuring smile. "I had to treat Zoe once. She'd just worked a double shift, which ran over because of something that happened in Resus, then Cal didn't show up; Zoe refused to go home and ended up fainting." He looked slightly embarrassed. "First, I told her what 'syncope' means (Dylan said it and I knew he wasn't going to explain it), then I put my foot in it completely and asked if she might be pregnant. It seemed quite likely, considering how often she and Max…" He stopped, looking awkward. "I didn't know Zoe couldn't have children."

Ethan hadn't known either. He felt sad as he thought of it. Zoe was so good with children – she could be very motherly towards adults too, when they needed it. Ethan hadn't forgotten how kind she'd ben to him on his first day at work, when he'd gone to ask if he might possibly let him go to the hospice for half an hour as he'd just heard his mother had died. She'd been so kind, he hadn't even felt embarrassed when he'd started crying. Zoe would have been a wonderful mother – though she could adopt, of course.

If she and Max ever got back together.

Ethan turned back to Robyn as a thought occurred to him. "Robyn, is there any possibility that you might be pregnant?"

There was a flash of emotion in Robyn's eyes before she looked down into her lap. "No."

"We'll give you a pregnancy test to make sure," said Ethan. "Vasovagal syncope is more common in pregnant women." He kept his voice calm, but he was sure she wouldn't be this cagey if she was sure any baby she might have conceived was Cal's. She'd been cheating on his brother!

"Robyn, just to reassure you, we are your healthcare providers, so anything that you say or anything we find out in connection with your fainting episode is strictly confidential," said Lofty gently.

Ethan knew he was right, but it did nothing to calm the anger that burned inside him.

* * *

When Honey had finally finished explaining, Lily spoke firmly and decisively. "No. That would not have happened."

"Are you saying you don't believe me?" cried Honey, even more hysterical now. "You're supposed to be my friend, Lily! I would never lie to you. Never!"

"I believe that you believe it," said Lily. "I know you would not lie. I am sure the conversation happened exactly as you described it."

"Then how could it not be true?" wailed Honey. She threw herself face-down on the pillow, but she didn't fling the phone across the room, much as she wanted it to. She put it down on the pillow beside her and sobbed loudly.

But she volume must have been turned up very high as the noise Honey was making did not drown out the sound of Lily's voice. It sounded small and tinny but still very clear as she asked: "Is it possible you were not talking about the same thing?"

* * *

"Yes, I can confirm that you are pregnant," said Ethan, his voice not quite as professional as he wanted it to be. "Your blood sugar is also very low: you'll need to make sure you eat more frequently and keep well-hydrated as well. I'm sure Rita will understand if you need more breaks."

Robyn nodded without looking at him. "Thanks, Ethan. Can I go back to work now?"

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go home?" said Ethan, who really wanted her as far from Cal – as possible.

"It's tempting," admitted Robyn sadly.

"Then you should go home," said Ethan with reluctant sympathy. "This is a very tiring job and if you're not feeling on top of your game…"

Robyn looked up at him helplessly, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh, Ethan, I don't know what to do!"

She burst into tears and Ethan put his hand on her shoulder before he'd realised he was going to do it. Lofty was already holding her other hand. Ethan waited until she was calmer and then passed her a tissue. "Robyn, I am sorry to pry and it's probably not professional of me to ask, but can I ask who the father is?"

Robyn looked stunned. "Do you really have to ask me that?"

"Are you saying it's Cal's?" said Ethan.

"Of course it's Cal's!" sobbed Robyn.


	77. Chapter 77

**Panicatcasualty123** , thank you for your review. I started this story before I knew about Matilda (and before Honey broke up with Ethan), so those storylines haven't happened, but we do have more reason than Robyn to feel confident about Cal's reaction. They're gradually piecing together the truth, which (I hope) can only be good!

 **CBloom2** , it probably won't be quite that easy, but we know Cal loves Robyn, so unless Robyn has some reason we don't know about for not loving Cal (and what reason could there possibly be?), the signs are probably good. Unlike Robyn, we know Cal will be a brilliant dad. I'm still sad Matilda wasn't his! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , everyone does need patience with Honey, though she's very loving and forgiving, so maybe it's worth it. She hated Lily in the early chapters, but now they're best friends. I'm sure Lofty would love for you to keep an eye on him! I think Ethan would agree about Cal and Robyn needing to talk. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I think there's a good chance Honey would be happy to listen to Lily - I'm sure she'd love to be wrong in this instance! It's not the best way to find out about Robyn's pregnancy, but who knows when she would have admitted to it otherwise? Maybe we'll have four happy people soon!

 **westlife4ever80** , it is confusing with that kind of conversation - they don't want to betray the secret so they drop hints, which is fine when they are talking about the same secret, but it causes all kinds of trouble if they're not! I love writing about misunderstandings - I don't know why! Thank you for your review.

* * *

"From what you told me, it sounds like neither of you actually said what it was you were talking about," said Lily.

It was almost lunchtime, so Lily had decided she might as well take her break a bit early and explain her idea to Honey in person. Honey was glad. It was much easier working out what people were talking about if she could see them – though she had to admit Lily was making very little sense so far.

"You were both so sure the other person knew," went on Lily. " _You_ were obviously talking about Robyn being pregnant, but what if Ethan was talking about something else entirely?"

"Like what?" said Honey.

"For example, I haven't caught Cal and Robyn kissing at inappropriate times for several days," said Lily. "Both have been coming in to work with red eyes. So I think the relationship must be over."

This didn't really make Honey feel any better. "Yeah, Cal dumped her because she got pregnant! And he's probably got red eyes because he was kept awake all night by some barmaid."

"I don't think Cal would do that," said Lily. "I believe Cal would be a conscientious and committed father. Were you at the ED when a patient led Cal to believe that he was the father of her child?"

"I don't know," said Honey.

"I was not there at the time, but I understand a mother brought her son to the ED and implied Cal was the father." Not quite hiding her disapproval, Lily added: "He had slept with the child's grandmother too."

"Typical Cal," said Honey. She couldn't help wondering if Robyn was better off without him.

"I was told that Cal spent a lot of time with the child and appeared ready to include him in his life," said Lily. "He seemed rather disappointed to learn the mother had lied to him, but he spoke to the boy with the same level of friendliness until he was discharged. I believe Cal would be an even more committed father now as he has matured a lot recently and I believe he does love Robyn."

"Then why would he dump her?" said Honey. "Go on, Dr Chao. Explain that if you're so clever!" Guilt washed over her. "Sorry, Lily. I didn't mean to be rude."

Lily didn't seem bothered. "I know you did not. You are unhappy and frustrated and that is understandable. I believe that Cal had no idea about the pregnancy. When Robyn found out, she panicked and feared Cal would not support her. She broke up with Cal in order to give herself some time and space to decide what to do."

"To do?" echoed Honey fearfully. "You mean… like… get rid of it?" Her voice trembled.

"That is one of her options and if that is Robyn's decision, it is not our place to judge," said Lily. "Another option is to transfer to a different hospital where nobody knows her or Cal. Or she could take some time off once her pregnancy became visible, give birth, have the baby adopted and return to the ED."

"Or she and Cal could get married and keep the baby," said Honey. "That's the one I like best."

"I like that idea best too," admitted Lily in a soft voice.

Honey looked at her curiously. "Do you want kids, Lily?"

"I would like to be a mother very much," said Lily simply. "But we are not talking about me. You know Cal and Robyn better than I do. Do you think my idea seems reasonable?"

"It makes a lot more sense than what I thought happened," admitted Honey.

* * *

Ethan could feel his heart softening with every word Robyn said.

"I know it was stupid, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't want Cal to think I'd tried to trap him. I didn't want him to be trapped into caring for a baby he didn't ask for. But I knew he'd work out that something was wrong, so I broke up with him. I didn't want to and I miss him so much, but I thought if I had a bit of time and space, I can work out what to do." Robyn began to sob. "But I still don't know what to do, Ethan! I have no idea what to do."

Ethan handed her another tissue. "I think you should tell him, Robyn."

"I can't!" wailed Robyn.

"You can," said Ethan, his voice soft but firm. "Cal loves you. He won't think you've trapped him and he won't feel trapped. Obviously, I can't be completely sure, but I think he'll love your baby just as much as he loves you and he would love to have a family."

"But what if he doesn't?" sniffled Robyn.

Ethan had to admit he wasn't sure what would happen then. "Then you'll have my support and I'll do my best to talk some sense into Cal. And remember, it takes two to tango. The baby is just as much his responsibility as yours. I can't see Cal blaming you."

Robyn wiped her eyes. "We did use precautions, Ethan. What if he thinks…"

"I'm sure Cal wouldn't think any such thing," said Ethan. "He can be an idiot sometimes, but he knows you're not the type to cheat." He rubbed her shoulder gently and smiled at her. "I know you must be terrified, but I really do think it will be all right."

* * *

Honey closed her eyes. "Oh God, Lily, I've really messed up, haven't I? What am I going to do?"

"I think you need to speak to Ethan," said Lily. "Explain what you were really talking about and see how he reacts."

"But I can't!" said Honey. "Then I'll have to tell him Robyn's pregnant and he'll be upset!"

"Perhaps so, but not as upset as he is now," said Lily. "It might be difficult for Ethan to see his brother with a child, but it will be a lot harder for him to cope without you."

"So, what should I do?" said Honey. "Text him and ask him to come and see me? Go to his flat after work?"

Lily was quiet for a moment. "I think you should come to the ED with me and speak to him now."

Honey gasped. "I can't! It wouldn't be safe. I'm covered with iodine. I could kill someone! I definitely can't go anywhere near anyone who's pregnant."

"You must stay inside the car, of course," said Lily. "But I will find Ethan and bring him to speak to you."

"And then?" said Honey fearfully. "Do you really think we can sort it out?"

"I am sure you can," said Lily. "I have never met anyone with greater intellectual abilities than Ethan and your social intelligence is something I can only dream of possessing."

* * *

Ethan waited outside Resus until his brother came through the doors. "Cal. I need to speak to you."

"I'd really like to speak to you too, to be honest," admitted Cal as his eyes filled with tears.

Ethan rubbed his arm gently. "Has something happened?"

"I'm just really struggling," said Cal as his tears started to fall. "With everything. Concentration. I can't think properly and the smallest thing makes me want to cry."

"I know," said Ethan sympathetically. "I've been feeling like that too. But listen to me, Cal. I've just talked to Robyn and I know what's wrong. She'd really like to speak to you."

Cal looked disbelievingly at Ethan. "Really?"

Ethan nodded. "Really. I don't want to say too much, but she loves you. She was afraid of losing you, so she decided to end the relationship before you did."

"As if I would ever do that!" said Cal.

Ethan smiled. " _I_ know that. I'm sure Robyn would know it too if she really thought about it. But it's difficult sometimes when you're in love. It clouds your judgement." He patted Cal's shoulder. "So, are you going to go and talk to her?"

Cal nodded, wiping his tears away and smiling. "I'm going to see Robyn!" He grabbed Ethan around the waist, lifted him off his feet and swung him in a circle.

"Cal, stop!" exclaimed Ethan. "Put me down! I'm too big for that now and we're at work!" He grabbed Cal's arm before he could run off. "And don't you think you should ask me where Robyn is?"

* * *

The journey from Honey's flat to the ED had never taken so long. Honey hadn't driven anywhere for a while and she was very nervous that she might faint or throw up, but a taxi wouldn't be safe. Unless Lily sat on the driver's lap, she wouldn't be far enough away from Honey.

"Not long now," said Lily from the back seat. "You can slow down a bit. You're very slightly over the speed limit. Are you sure you're in the right gear? The engine is making a funny noise."

Honey had to laugh. "Lily, do you even know how to drive a car?"

"No, I don't," admitted Lily. "I always wanted to learn, but as I wanted to go to medical school, I could not expect my parents to finance lessons. When I was a student, I had a student loan, of course, but I barely had enough to cover my textbooks, accommodation and food. When I finally finished medical school and got my first job, it seemed like a needless expense considering there was no-one living with me to share my car. I decided it would be more economical to travel by bike."

"Yeah, but when you've got a car, you can give lifts to people," said Honey. "And you can turn the radio up really loud and check your make-up in the mirror ."

She glanced into the mirror and didn't miss the amusement on Lily's face. It wasn't there for long, but it was definitely there. "I have often wondered about learning to drive. I think sometimes that I would feel safer in a car. I had an accident earlier this year, not long after you left, and I have been more anxious since then. Also, a car is more comfortable and warmer."

"You should definitely learn to drive then," said Honey. "I could give you lessons if you want. I mean, you could probably afford them really easily now you're a registrator but if you'd rather learn from someone you know…"

"Thank you, Honey," said Lily. She thought for a moment. "Perhaps I will have lessons. I think it would be better to pay for lessons as I will be able to use a car with dual controls, but perhaps, when I am more experienced, I could practise in your car?"

"Yeah, course you can!" said Honey delightedly. "If you don't mind driving a pink car with eyelashes."

"I think I would be proud to," said Lily.


	78. Chapter 78

_There will probably only be a couple more chapters of this as I'm running out of ideas, but if you have any ideas, please comment in a review or pm and I'll do what I can!_

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. I thought Honey might need someone clever to help her figure out what had gone wrong - and it would be nice for Lily too, to be sorting out social problems for a change. It might give her a confidence boost. Cal will know about Robyn very soon!

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , Cal is such a great dad, he deserves to have his own baby - and it is going to happen, so let's just hope he'll be part of the child's life! I hadn't thought of writing about Honey giving Lily driving lessons - I have an idea for an extra chapter! Thank you for your review and the idea.

 **Tanith Panic** , it looks like the idea of Lily driving Honey's car will happen! The L-plates would clash with the pink though! I hope Lily will get to have children. It would be lovely for her to have a family to love her. Cal is happy now, but he might not be happy for long if Robyn doesn't want him back. Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. You're probably right to be worried - Cal doesn't always cope well in emotional moments! But it's difficult to imagine him hating the idea of being a dad. You wouldn't really expect Lily and Honey to be friends, but I suppose opposites can attract in friendship too.

* * *

Ethan was thinking.

He knew a secret about Robyn: that she'd broken up with Cal.

Honey knew a secret about Robyn too. Ethan and Honey had not unreasonably assumed they were the same secret.

But Robyn actually had two secrets. She'd broken up with Cal - and she was pregnant.

What if Ethan and Honey had been talking about different secrets?

Ethan ran his conversation with Honey through his mind. He'd done it so many times and every word seemed indelibly printed there.

Ethan had said he'd be devastated if Honey ever broke up with him. Or that was what he'd meant.

But if Honey had known Robyn was pregnant but didn't know about the break-up, it would sound to her as though Ethan was saying he would be devastated if Honey got pregnant.

Ethan stopped in the middle of the corridor.

That must be what had happened. Honey was desperate to be a mum and it would hurt her terribly to hear Ethan say something that strongly suggested he'd completely changed his mind about having a baby with her.

"Dr Hardy, is there a reason why you're standing in the middle of the corridor, in everyone's way?"

Ethan was so relieved, he could only smile at Connie. "I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp, but I think I've just realised why Honey broke up with me! And it's all a misunderstanding!"

The ice in Connie's eyes melted slightly, though she was clearly trying to pretend it hadn't. "Then I suggest you go and sort it out as quickly as possible – you're clearly no use at all to this department until you've done that - and then get back to work."

* * *

Honey parked in the hospital car park and looked over her shoulder at Lily. "So, how are we going to do this? Shall I phone him?"

"You can try," said Lily. "It is possible he will not answer, of course."

Honey looked at her friend in dismay. "You mean he might not want to talk to me?" She had to admit she could understand if that was the case. She'd told him to leave – and he hadn't deserved that at all. She couldn't blame Ethan for being angry or upset.

Her eyes moistened as she thought of Ethan being upset. He might have had as wretched a night as she'd had, though at least Ethan could have had a cuddle from Cal.

Though it wouldn't have surprised Honey if her wonderful, selfless Ethan had spent the whole night comforting Cal and ignoring his own problems.

"I mean that he might be unable to answer because he is busy working," said Lily, but Honey could tell she thought Ethan choosing not to answer was a possibility too.

* * *

Ethan waited desperately for Honey to pick up. He knew there was a good chance she'd ignore him. He'd hurt her terribly and he wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to speak to him ever again.

But he wouldn't give up.

The ringing stopped. "Hey," said Honey softly.

"Hey," said Ethan. "I know you probably don't want to see me, but please can I come and see you at lunchtime?"

"No," said Honey.

Ethan expelled his breath with something like a sob. "Please, Honey?"

"Why don't you come and see me now?" said Honey. "I'm in the car park."

"I'm coming, Honey!" said Ethan, almost crying with relief. "I'm coming, darling."

* * *

Honey pushed open the sunroof and climbed awkwardly onto the seat. She couldn't see the entrance to the ED from the car park, but she would see Ethan coming and that was all she wanted.

Lily was standing outside the car – Honey had felt a bit mean throwing her out, but although short car journeys were permitted, Lily hadn't really been far enough away for Honey to feel convinced she was completely safe. Lily thought she would be fine, but Honey didn't want to take any chances.

 _It's sad Lily can't possibly be pregnant though_ , thought Honey. _That sounds like there hasn't been anyone for at least nine months and that's way too long! There must be some nice, single men around. Max is obviously Zoe's and Iain so wants Rita, but Lofty and Dylan are single._

She leaned over the roof. "Lily, what do you think of-"

And there he was.

"Ethan!" shouted Honey, waving her arms. She was feeling hot and sweaty and generally unattractive, but she didn't care because Ethan was running towards her. "No, Ethan, not too close!"

Lily turned and smiled up at Honey. "And now I will return to work." She smiled at Honey. "Good luck." She smiled at Ethan as she passed him. "You're a lucky man. Don't forget it."

"Thank you for looking after Honey for me." Ethan smiled and continued to walk towards Honey. stopped the correct distance away. He looked up at her. "Hey."

"Hey," said Honey. "Um, I know this probably sounds like a weird question, but that thing you said you knew about Robyn, were you talking about her breaking up with Cal? Because I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about Robyn being pregnant."

Ethan smiled up at her. He almost wanted to laugh, he felt so happy. "Yes, I was talking about Robyn and Cal's break-up. I've actually just worked out the same thing myself. Robyn fainted at work today – she's going to be fine, but she's been very stressed and working too hard: I'm hoping she'll things easier from now - and she told me she was pregnant. Then things just fell into place!"

"I couldn't understand why you would be devastated when I was pregnant," said Honey. "I thought you wanted kids."

"I do," said Ethan. "I want kids very much and I want them to be your kids. With you. My wife. Well, nearly."

Tears filled Honey's eyes. "I love you, Ethan."

"And I love you, Honey." Ethan's eyes were stinging. "So much. And I wish I could take you in my arms and show you how much right now!"

Honey burst out laughing.

"Oh, goodness me, no! I didn't mean _that_!" said Ethan, going bright red. "Not in the middle of the car park! I just meant I want to hug you."

Honey wiped her eyes. "Soon, Ethan. Soon, I promise. But there's something really important we've got to do first."

Ethan looked at her, slightly confused. "You mean plan the wedding?"

"No, I mean get Cal and Robyn back together!" said Honey.

Ethan nodded. "Oh, I hope we can. I can understand why Robyn is worried considering Cal's reputation, but when she thinks more clearly about the Cal she knows – the Cal she's in love with – then I'm sure she'll realise the truth."

"Oh my God! I'm going to be an auntie!" Honey was practically bouncing up and down on the seat. "Ethan, what's wrong with me?"

Ethan smiled. "I think you're perfect, Honey, as far as I can see."

"Yeah, but when I first found out about Robyn, I was really upset," said Honey. "I was like, devastated. I couldn't stop crying."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry!" said Ethan. He took a step closer.

"No, don't!" shouted Honey.

Ethan stepped back again. "I'm sorry. I keep forgetting. Is this better? Honey, my darling, why didn't you tell me about Robyn?"

"Because I didn't want you to be upset too," said Honey.

"I really don't think I am upset," said Ethan. "I'm looking forward so much to starting a family with you. I suppose, in a way, I will be quite sad that Cal and Robyn will have their baby first, but mostly, I'm just excited and happy for them. Robyn will be nearly as good a mum as you, and Cal might be a brilliant dad and our children will be cousins!"

Honey looked at Ethan in awe. "I love you, Ethan. I love you so much."

"And I love you, my sweetheart. More than anything."

Honey felt herself sinking into the embrace of his eyes.

* * *

Ethan walked slowly back to Robyn's cubicle, afraid of what he might find but knowing he had to do this. Cal had never been that good at sorting out his own problems, and Robyn was vulnerable and pregnant. It was only too likely that Cal had messed this up too.

The cubicle curtain was drawn across. Ethan couldn't hear anything. He was glad he couldn't hear Robyn crying, but the silence did worry him. Perhaps Cal wasn't in there. Perhaps he'd run away again.

Ethan sighed. He should never have let Cal go and see Robyn on his own. He should have sorted Cal out before thinking about Honey.

Though he was so glad to be back with Honey… Ethan smiled for a moment, thinking how happy and lucky he was, before he remembered his brother and firmly put Honey out of his mind.

For now.

He heard a gasp from inside the cubicle. "Oh, Cal!"

Ethan decided he probably didn't want to go in after all if Cal was making Robyn gasp, but it was almost certainly a good sign.

"Robyn," said Cal. "I'm no good at this. I've never done it before. I nearly did, but she wanted Ethan's money more than me and I see now she could never have made me happy. But you do. You make me think there's a point to all this. That I'm not a useless waste of space. That I'm actually worth something. Robyn, I love you and I love our baby and I want us to be a family. Will you marry me, Robyn?"

"Yes, of course I will!" sobbed Robyn.

"Oh, Robyn!" Cal's voice was tremulous too.

"Oh, Cal!" said Robyn.

 _Oh my goodness!_ thought Ethan as he started crying right in the middle of the corridor.


	79. Chapter 79

**westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed Cal and Robyn getting engaged. I don't want to say I'm glad I made you cry, but it is a relief to know it's reasonable for Ethan to have got emotional over Cal's proposal.

 **CBloom2** , a double wedding would be amazing, wouldn't it? I'd love to write a double wedding for the brothers, though I'd also like them to be each other's best man, which could need some coordinating! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Ethan was definitely crying with happiness! It's been an emotional few months for him too, so it's probably partly the relief that everything is okay. I think Honey would be a great birthing partner for Robyn - she's a trained aromatherapist and masseur.

 **Tanith Panic** , I love Ethan's soft heart too - I'm not sure if he'd cry at every proposal (though I'd love it if he did), but it's been such an emotional time so I thought anything like that would push him right over the edge! I've had some ideas that will make this a couple of chapters longer. Thank you for your review.

* * *

"I'm going to miss this," said Honey softly as she gazed into Ethan's eyes.

"We can keep doing it." Ethan's voice was soft and dreamy. "Just because we'll be able to touch, it doesn't mean we have to all the time."

Honey felt herself melting in chocolate-brown warmth. "I think I will for a while though. Hug you all the time, I mean. I probably won't let go of you for a week!"

"I have to admit that sounds lovely," said Ethan.

He hugged her with his eyes again. A few moments later, they heard a key in the door and Noel came to join them. He smiled at his daughter and sat beside Ethan. "So, how are feeling? Excited?"

"Very excited!" said Honey.

"So am I," said Ethan, smiling. "I expect you are too, Noel."

"How could I not be?" said Noel.

The doorbell rang. Noel went to answer it and returned with Cal and Robyn. Ethan couldn't help smiling at the sight of his brother and his future sister-in-law. He didn't think he'd ever seen either of them look so happy.

"Hey, are you all set?" said Cal.

Honey nodded, her eyes sparkling. "We're all set."

"Not that you'll want us around for long," said Cal with a lewd wink.

Ethan couldn't quite bring himself to get annoyed. Not today.

Cal sat on the sofa and tried to pull Robyn onto his lap.

"No, I'm too heavy," said Robyn.

"Robyn, even when you're nine months pregnant with octuplets, you'll never be too heavy for me," said Cal.

"Octuplets?" said Robyn in horror. "I am not having octuplets!"

Cal smiled. "I have to admit it's unlikely. But I can't wait to be a dad." He held out his arms. "Come on, beautiful. Sit down."

Robyn smiled and sat on Cal's lap. Cal wrapped his arms around her, giving her a light kiss. Robyn stroked his hair and pressed her cheek against his.

"I love you," murmured Cal.

Ethan could tell he'd forgotten anyone else was in the room – which could be a problem considering what Cal usually liked to do when he was alone with a woman. "Caleb, don't forget you're in Honey's flat."

"I'm sure Honey won't mind if I kiss my girlfriend," said Cal, and kissed her again.

Robyn gently pushed him away. "Today is about Honey, sweetheart."

"Every day is about you," said Cal.

Noel turned to Ethan. "Are they always like this?"

"Oh, yes. Most of the time," said Ethan. "It does get a bit irritating sometimes, but it can be quite funny."

Cal gave his brother a mock-angry look. "If you dare laugh at me, I'll play that voicemail for Honey you sent to my phone by mistake."

"I'm not laughing at you really," said Ethan hurriedly.

The doorbell rang again and Noel went to answer it. Ethan was surprised: they weren't expecting anyone else.

"Someone else to join the party!" said Noel, ushering Lily into the room.

Honey looked at her in amazement. "I thought you were working!"

"I was working," said Lily. "But I couldn't miss a moment like this."

"Oh, Lily!" said Honey. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm going to give you the biggest hug!"

Ethan's eyes went to the egg timer on the table. Not long to go now.

"Does it actually need to be this exact?" asked Noel.

"No, not at all," said Ethan. "But Honey wanted to make it symbolic – and for everyone to be here. We couldn't very well have let Honey wake up to find all of us in her bedroom."

"Shame," said Cal, and received a very soft slap from Robyn. "I was just joking, Robyn!"

Robyn smiled. "I know you were."

"So, what time are you leaving?" asked Cal as he linked his hand with Robyn's.

Ethan glared at him. "Caleb!"

"What?" said Cal.

A look of horror came to Honey's face. "You're leaving, Ethan!"

"I am sure he is not leaving you," said Lily.

Ethan sent another angry look his brother's way. "It was supposed to be a surprise. I've booked us a weekend away, Honey."

Honey gasped. "Oh my God! Really? Oh, Ethan, you're the best! Where are we going?"

"I'd really like to surprise you," said Ethan, "though I can't promise Cal will be able to keep it to himself."

Cal looked contrite, though that might be partly because of whatever Robyn had just whispered into his ear. "Ethan, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay," said Ethan, giving his brother a forgiving smile. "We're obviously not leaving till the weekend. I thought you'd like some time with your dad."

"Oh, Ethan!" said Honey. Her eyes filled with tears. "I really do have the best fiancée ever!"

The alarm went off.

Ethan couldn't move. He sat frozen on to sofa, gazing at Honey, unable to believe it.

The next moment, she'd got up from the sofa and was running into his arms.

Ethan held out his arms and caught her, pulling her onto his lap and squeezing her so tightly, he was almost afraid she might disintegrate into his arms. He could hear Honey crying… no, actually, that was _Ethan_ crying, which was really quite embarrassing, but he didn't care. The four weeks were over and Honey was in his arms.

Honey kissed him, her lips melding to his. They kissed desperately and feverishly, but not passionately. Almost as though they'd been drowning and the kisses were big gulps of air.

After a few moments, Honey pulled away slightly, holding out her hand. "Dad?"

Noel came to join the hug, wrapping his arms around Honey. Ethan gave them a bit of space and hid behind Honey as he took his glasses off and wiped his eyes.

A moment later, they were joined by Cal and Robyn. Lily approached hesitantly and perched on the arm of the sofa as she held Honey's hand. Ethan wiped his eyes again and reached out his arm, wrapping it around Lily and pulling her close. She overbalanced slightly, falling against Noel. Ethan felt more emotional than ever when Noel gave Lily a quick hug.

"Oh my God!" screamed Honey suddenly.

Everyone went still, then Ethan turned anxiously to his fiancée. "Honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine!" said Honey.

Even without his glasses, Ethan could see she looked slightly tearstained. Ethan didn't doubt he looked exactly the same (only much less beautiful).

"I just saw this!" said Honey, grabbing Robyn's hand.

A ring sparkled on her finger.

"We got it today," said Robyn, blushing and smiling as Cal held her closer to him and kissed her head. "We finally found the right ring."

"It's beautiful," said Honey in awe. "It actually looks a lot like…" She held her own hand beside Robyn's for comparison.

"Yeah. We wanted one a bit like yours," said Cal. "Robyn thought it was the loveliest ring she'd ever seen and I… I liked the idea of choosing a ring Mum would have liked."

"She'd have loved it," said Ethan. He smiled at his future sister-in-law. "And she'd have loved you too, Robyn. She would also have been very grateful to you for sorting my brother out."

Cal smiled. "There wasn't really that much sorting to do."

Honey giggled as she looked at Ethan. "I'm not sure Ethan would agree with that!"

"She has a point!" admitted Ethan.

"No, I just mean as soon as I looked at Robyn properly for the first time, that kind of sorted me out," said Cal. "Robyn didn't have to do anything except be herself. He let his hand drift over Robyn's stomach. "And obviously, knowing Caleb Junior was on the way…"

Robyn laughed. "I am not calling our daughter Caleb."

"How do you know it's a girl?" said Cal.

"Well, how do you know it's a boy?" countered Robyn.

Cal laughed and kissed her. "Fair enough."

Ethan turned back to Honey and brushed his lips softly against hers. "I love you, Honey. I love you so much."

"Right: that must be our cue to head back to work," said Cal.

Honey shook her head. "No, you can't go! I've got nibbles!"

"Yeah, exactly!" said Cal. "And I'm sure you and Nibbles don't want us hanging round when all you really want is to get on with it."

Noel frowned. "Cal, if you mean what I think you mean…"

"No, I mean I've got nibbles for us to eat," said Honey.

Cal was trying to frown. "Now, that's no way to treat my little brother, Honey."

"No, I mean like, snacks!" said Honey. "They're in the kitchen."

"I will get them," offered Lily, disentangling herself Ethan, Honey and Noel.

"No, you're our guest," said Noel. "I'll get them."

Ethan smiled as Honey hugged him close again, but he wasn't quite so happy when she moved. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to give my best friend the biggest hug ever," said Honey, and threw arms around Lily.

The force of it pushed Lily back a couple of steps and her eyes widened slightly in shock, but she returned the hug affectionately and even smiled when Honey planted a loud kiss on her cheek.

"I am… your best friend?" said Lily wonderingly.

"Course you are!" said Honey. "I love you and you're amazing and I am so setting you up with Dylan."

Robyn gasped loudly. " _Dylan?_ Why Dylan?"

"No. It would not work," said Lily. "I admire Dylan's mind very much and he is not an unattractive man, but he has a dog. I am allergic to dogs. It would not work."

Ethan tried to imagine Dylan and Lily together. "You could have immunotherapy. To begin with, it would be an injection every week, then every two weeks, then every four weeks. After three to five years, you should be all right."

"I will consider it," said Lily.

Ethan smiled. If Lily had moved on from him, he could only be pleased. It was extremely flattering that a woman as beautiful and intelligent and generally great as Lily could find him attractive, but he wanted her to find someone who loved her as she deserved.

Noel returned with a tray. "Here's the first lot. I'll get the rest, then I'll put some music on." He put the tray down, then gave his daughter another hug. "We've got a lot to celebrate."

When he let her go, Honey kissed him on the cheek and sat on Ethan's lap again.

 _Oh yes_ , thought Ethan, as he hugged her tightly. _I have so many things to celebrate now._


	80. Chapter 80

_There's been a time jump of about three months between this chapter and the last one - I hope it's not confusing. Also, I'm sorry if the stuff about driving is inaccurate. I can't actually drive (I tried and failed. Multiple times) and my husband hasn't driven for several years and although I'm sure he could drive perfectly if he had a car, he can't explain the process verbally. I looked online, but none of the instructions I found mentioned the handbrake. So my husband and I tried to work it out by miming._

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. It was going to be just Ethan and Noel with Honey, but I knew Robyn would want to be there and she and Cal are family, and I thought it would be nice for Lily to be included as she often gets left out. Lily probably hasn't been called someone's best friend all that often. At least not recently.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. And thank you for your idea of a chapter where Honey gives Lily a driving lesson. I love your idea and I've decided to use it in this chapter.

* * *

Honey parked the car by the side of the road. "Okay? Ready to swap seats?"

"I am ready," said Lily doubtfully. "My instructor says I'm ready and I have been learning to drive for three months and I am taking my test the week after next, so I must be ready."

Honey could tell she was nervous. She gave Lily a hug. "Don't worry. It's going to be okay. And think about it: you're going to have to get used to driving a proper car sooner or later. Don't you think it makes sense to do it now, so it's not a great big massive shock when you've passed your test and you've suddenly got this car and you've never ever driven one like it before?"

Lily nodded and a determined look came over her face. "You are correct, Honey. I can do this."

"I'm sure it's much easier than putting a chest train in a pneumatic thorax," said Honey encouragingly.

Lily smiled. "I am sure it is."

Honey nodded. "And it's probably easier than mentoring Alicia too."

"I hope so," said Lily. "I am enjoying being a mentor, but sometimes I feel as though Alicia doesn't need me. She seems to know everything and she's so natural with the patients."

"You're just different," said Honey. "You're just a bit shy, that's all. I bet loads of patients prefer you to Alicia. She's so full-on and she doesn't always know where to stop. Not everyone wants their doctor being all chatty. Though I'd probably be just the same if I was a doctor." She took Lily's hand. "I think Alicia's okay, but you're my best friend, Lily. By miles!"

"Thank you," said Lily softly, her eyes full of gratitude.

* * *

Honey got into the passenger seat and smiled excitedly at her new pupil. "Okay. You know how to start off."

"Not until you have your seatbelt on," said Lily.

Honey laughed and put her seatbelt on. Lily was so sweet when she was being all paediatric. She reminded Honey of Ethan sometimes. They both liked to get things exactly right.

Lily turned the ignition key rather hesitantly and the engine roared into life, making Lily jump slightly. Her forehead furrowed as she depressed the clutch, moved the gearstick into first and pushed down the handbrake. She checked her mirrors, signalled that she was going to pull away from the kerb, and started driving.

Honey cheered loudly. Lily's driving was a bit jolty, but nothing to worry about. She was a new driver in an unfamiliar car. Honey was amazed she hadn't stalled it yet. Honey had stalled it at least once a week ever since she'd got it.

Lily depressed the accelerator and the car began to pick up speed. The engine started making a grating noise, but before Honey could say anything, Lily had moved into second gear.

"Go Lily!" said Honey.

"Shall I go into third now?" said Lily. "Or is it a waste of time when there is a roundabout at the end of the road and I need to go into second or first?"

"Listen to your engine," said Honey, feeling like a proper driving instructor.

Lily listened and moved up into third. "Which way would you like me to go?"

"Wherever you like," said Honey. "I think it's good to get a bit of practice of just driving instead of being told what to do all the time."

"I think you're right." Lily drove to the end of the road, slowed down, checked her mirrors and saw there was a car approaching from her right. She brought the car to a stop and gave way. Then she started up the car and drove straight on.

"That's good," said Honey. "Do you want to do some minervas or do you just want to drive?"

"I would like to practise manoeuvres later," said Lily, "but for now, I'm happy to drive."

"Great: go for it!" said Honey, and sat back to enjoy it.

Lily was a very good driver. She was careful and very alert. She was comfortable even with the big roundabouts and she wasn't scared of driving at national limit. She was even okay with the crossroads that had twenty million traffic lights (or twenty anyway). The traffic lights still terrified Honey. She didn't usually drive this way if she could help it.

"Now I would like to do some manoeuvres," said Lily.

She found a quiet bit of road and she did a few emergency stops. Then she turned the car around in the road. A bit further on, they found a turning, which Lily reversed around successfully. After that, they drove on until they'd found a parked car so Lily could practise parallel parking.

"You're even good at that," said Honey enviously. She struggled a bit with parallel parking, even now.

"Of course, I should really practise parking between two cars," said Lily.

Honey shook her head. "No, you don't need to. They won't ask you to do that."

"Perhaps not, but in reality, I will often be parking between two cars," said Lily. "It is important to prepare for reality as well as for the test."

"Yeah, you're right," said Honey. "I got into such a mess the first time I tried to do it. I was so scared I was going to crash. I had to give up and drive off in the end."

They went back to a busier part of the city and found a long street with cars parked all along the side. Honey couldn't help laughing when she saw how pleased Lily was about finding a gap. She applauded when Lily had parked successfully on her third attempt.

"What now?" said Honey, after Lily had parked in several different gaps.

"I need to practise bay parking," said Lily.

"The hospital's got bays," said Honey.

Lily shook her head. "We must find somewhere quieter." She managed to get out of the parking space with minimum effort and started driving again.

"You did that like a proper professional," said Honey. "You should be a driving instructor."

"A driving instructor?" Lily's eyes stayed on the road, but the disbelief was clear in her voice. "Give up medicine and become a driving instructor?"

"Oh, right, yeah. Maybe not," said Honey.

Lily laughed. She didn't laugh very often, but she was getting quite good at it. "I have a lot of respect for driving instructors. Their job must be terrifying and dangerous. But I really like my current job. Though perhaps as a driving instructor, I would meet with fewer accidents."

"Fewer accidents! Yeah!" Honey laughed. "You're getting really good at jokes now, Lily!"

"Thank you." Lily signalled that she was turning right at the next T-junction.

"I know! Maybe you could teach Dylan to drive!" said Honey. "You could show him how to put his _key_ in your _ignition_ …"

"I imagine Dylan can drive already," said Lily as she slowed the car.

"Why hasn't he got a car then?" said Honey.

"I have no idea." Lily's voice wasn't completely steady. It never was when she talked about Dylan.

Honey was glad. She'd felt a bit guilty when Lily was in love with Ethan. "Maybe we could have a double wedding."

"A double wedding?" said Lily, raising a hand in acknowledgement when a car to her right stopped to give way to her.

"Yeah, why not?" said Honey. "Me and Ethan; you and Dylan…"

"Perhaps because Dylan has no interest in me," said Lily as she turned right. "And, of course, because I have no interest in Dylan."

Honey smiled to herself. She knew the truth.

She was still smiling when she felt the impact.

* * *

Ethan smiled at his patient. "You're welcome. It really was my pleasure. I'm sorry I couldn't be any more help, but I'm sure your GP will be much better than me." He turned to see Connie. "Oh! Sorry, Mrs Beauchamp. I wasn't expecting to see you there."

He expected Connie to make a comment about not being too kind to time-wasters, but she didn't. "Ethan, I need to speak to you."

The use of his first name sent Ethan's heart into overdrive. He followed her to her office. "H-has something happened?"

"We've just had a call," said Connie gently. "There's been an RTC."

"Is it Cal?" said Ethan anxiously. Cal was a terrible driver. He was so lazy about signalling and he often drove too fast.

Connie's voice was very sympathetic. "It's Honey and Lily."

"What?" Ethan began to tremble. "What happened? Are they okay?"

He felt Connie's arm going around his shoulders. "We don't know exactly what happened, Ethan. We'll know more when they arrive and we'll let you know as soon as we know anything. Obviously, we don't expect you to continue working."

Ethan's breathing was fast and shallow. He pulled his phone from his pocket and speed-dialled Honey. It rang and then went to voicemail. "Honey! Please answer, darling! I love you so much!"

"Ethan." Connie's voice was very gentle. "Honey won't be able to answer now. The paramedics wouldn't let her. Why don't you come and sit in the staff room? Would you like me to call Cal?"

Ethan looked at Connie, wondering why her face was so blurred. "He's having a day off with Robyn."

"I know, but I'm sure he'd want to be with you," said Connie. "Come on: I'll take you to the staff room."

They passed the reception desk. "Where's Noel?" said Ethan. "Does he know?"

"He's in the staff room with Louise," said Connie.

Ethan nodded faintly and kept walking.

At the staff room door, Connie turned Ethan to face her. "You know we'll do our best for Honey, don't you."

"Yes," managed Ethan. He quite wanted to throw his arms around her and cry, but he had just enough brain power to stop himself.

"I'll send someone to find you as soon as we have some news," promised Connie. "Okay?"

"Okay," whispered Ethan.

Connie rubbed his arm. "In you go then."

"Thank you, Mrs Beauchamp." Ethan's voice was thready and weak. Perhaps Honey's pulse was the same.


	81. Chapter 81

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , it will be very difficult for Ethan to see Honey injured - he might be a medical professional, but he's still human and in love. He really would be devastated if he lost Honey - he's pretty devastated even at the thought of losing her! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your reviews. I'm glad you liked the moment when Honey and Ethan were finally able to hug again - it was challenging but interesting to write a normal physical action that was so important. Cal is a very cheeky man! I'm glad you liked the build-up to the crash too. There was a lot of information, so I'm glad it wasn't boring.

 **CBloom2** , I'm glad you didn't see the crash coming! I tend to expect something to go wrong every time someone gets into a car in Casualty. I won't tell you whether I'm going to kill Honey off, but I definitely plan on causing Ethan a bit more pain. I have to keep my readers happy! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , one nice thing about Casualty is that when someone gets rushed to hospital, we know they'll have the very best care. That probably doesn't happen in many other soaps! But perhaps Honey and Lily won't be as lucky as Ethan. Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. As the rest of the story has been quite dramatic (and as this is Casualty), I just couldn't let Honey and Lily get through a driving lesson unscathed!

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. It would have been nice to give Honey and Lily a happy driving lesson, but that didn't really seem to fit with the rest of the story. But I definitely haven't ruled out a happy ending.

* * *

Ethan walked through the staff room door. Noel was sitting with his head in his hands. Louise had her arm around him.

"Hey," said Ethan softly.

Noel looked up. His face was creased with worry. "I'm glad you're here, Ethan," he said simply.

Ethan went to sit next to him. "I haven't got any news. I'm sorry."

"I'm sure we'll get the news as soon as there is some," said Noel.

"Mrs Beauchamp said she'd make sure we knew," whispered Ethan.

Louise leaned across Noel's lap and took Ethan's hand. "I'm sure she will. And we don't know it's serious. Honey's a strong girl."

"She has hypothyroidism," said Ethan miserably. Although the radio iodine therapy had cured Honey's hyperthyroidism, it had worked a bit too well and destroyed most of Honey's thyroid. This meant she would have to take thyroxine for the rest of her life, but as long as she remembered to take it, she felt completely well and there was little need to worry about her.

That didn't stop Ethan from worrying though.

"A lot of people have hypothyroidism," said Louise. "So do most people who've had radio iodine treatment for hyperthyroidism." Her eyes narrowed. "What I'd like to know is what Lily was playing at."

"Me too," said Noel grimly.

Ethan closed his eyes. "We don't know that Lily did anything. It might have been the fault of another driver. We don't even know that Lily was the one driving when they crashed."

"I bet she was though," said Louise. "If someone's giving you a driving lesson, they're going to let you do most of the driving, aren't they?"

Ethan pressed his free hand against his mouth and tried to suppress a sob.

Noel looked as scared as Ethan felt.

Louise let go of Ethan's hand so she could hug Noel. "She's going to be okay, Noel. She's a fighter. I know she'll be okay."

"We can't know anything," said Noel.

"He's right," said Ethan, blinking hard. He didn't want to cry in front of Louise. "But if Lily was driving, Honey chose to let Lily drive the car and as she's the licenced driver, she was responsible for her."

Noel slowly lifted his head. "Are you saying it's Honey's fault?"

"You'd better not be!" Louise's eyes were flashing dangerously.

"No. No, of course not," said Ethan unsteadily. He swallowed hard. "I'm just saying it's probably not Lily's either."

* * *

Ethan didn't usually disobey Connie. It was unthinkable. It was dangerous.

But he couldn't sit in that room with Noel and Louise and do nothing.

He'd tried pacing. He'd tried making a cup of tea, though he hadn't actually got as far as pouring it out, never mind drinking it. He didn't want any tea. He didn't want to pace. He didn't want to be in the room at all.

The only thing he wanted was to be with Honey.

"I'm going to wait by the entrance," he told Noel and Louise. "They probably won't tell me anything yet, but even if all I hear is the handover…"

"I'm staying here," said Noel. He looked like anything involving standing up would be a struggle to him. Ethan wouldn't have considered leaving him if there hadn't been a nurse there – and even then he'd have thought twice about it if Louise and Noel hadn't been such close friends.

Or _more_ than friends, as Honey had told him darkly just a few days ago. "I don't want Louise to be my stepmum. That's just weird! And it's going to mess up all my plans to fix her up with Lofty."

Ethan personally couldn't imagine Louise and Lofty as a couple, but he was more than willing to concede that Honey would have a far better idea than he would. She knew so much about people and while Ethan didn't really think she was psychic, he felt she had unusually strong empathy. If Honey said there was chemistry between Louise and Lofty, she… well, it might be wishful thinking, but she might be right.

"Come and tell us the _minute_ you know anything, right?" said Louise.

Disobeying Louise was nearly as inadvisable as disobeying Connie. Ethan nodded, promised and departed.

* * *

When he arrived at the entrance to the ED, he was intrigued to discover he wasn't the only person there. Dylan was also waiting by the door. For a moment, Ethan thought how happy Honey would be that Dylan was so worried about Lily, but then he realised Dylan was most likely one of the doctors who'd been asked to help treat Honey and Lily and he was probably only waiting because they were expected at any moment.

Ethan went to stand beside him. "I don't suppose you've had any news?"

"No," said Dylan.

He said no more, but that wasn't particularly surprising. "Are you going to treat them?" asked Ethan.

"One of them, yes," said Dylan.

Ethan found he was looking at Dylan to see if he seemed upset by the possibility of Lily being seriously hurt. He almost smiled at himself. It showed how much Honey had become a part of her life. Until recently, Ethan wouldn't even have considered Dylan's romantic future, but anything that was important to Honey had become important to Ethan as well.

Dylan didn't look upset exactly, but perhaps he was a little bit jumpier than usual. Though that might be because he might be treating a colleague. That was always difficult.

"Ethan, what are you doing here?"

Ethan turned guiltily to Connie. "I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp. I couldn't just sit there. I want to help."

Connie nodded and spoke kindly. "I do understand, Ethan, but you know we can't let you be involved in Honey's treatment."

"Can't I even see her?" said Ethan, his voice breaking.

Connie stroked his arm. "You can see her when she's brought in. You can say a quick word or two to her. But then I'm afraid you'll have to go back to the staff room and wait. I'm very sorry, but you know the rules, Ethan."

"But I'm not just a member of the public," said Ethan desperately. "I'm a doctor. I know what needs to be done. I'm not going to hinder you. I can just be there with her."

"But you'll be _thinking_ as a member of the public," said Connie. "You won't be able to help it. I know it's going to be horrible waiting, but it's going to be even more distressing watching us treat Honey. It's against the rules in any case."

"You let Cal treat me when I was in an RTC!" said Ethan.

"We had no other choice," said Connie. "There was no other doctor available. This time, we do have doctors available, so Dylan and I will treat Honey and Lily."

"But if you need help…" said Ethan.

"Dr Munroe is waiting in Resus," said Connie. "She's very capable and it will be a good experience for her. If we need anyone else, I know I can rely on her assistance – and she isn't that close to Honey, which is an advantage. We won't allow her to treat Lily, of course, as she's Alicia's mentor." She looked over Ethan's shoulder. "Here they come. Remember what I told you, Ethan. You can offer reassurance, but please keep calm and don't get in our way."

Ethan barely heard her last instructions. He was too busy staring at the trolley which Dixie and Iain had wheeled into the hospital.

Honey had suffered several lacerations to the face, probably caused by flying glass. One arm was bandaged and it looked like there might be a problem with her leg too. She was conscious but crying. Her breathing was shallow. She didn't seem to know Ethan was there.

Ethan's eyes flooded with tears. "Honey, I love you!" he said as he walked alongside the trolley. "Mrs Beauchamp will look after you. Maybe you've got a pneumatic thorax and then you should get a chest train!" He sniffed. "You've always wanted to know that that was like."

"All right, Ethan." Connie moved him gently aside. "I'll look after her. I promise."

"Pneumatic thorax," said Dylan thoughtfully. "Yes, perhaps it's just as well you're not treating her, Ethan."

"That's what Honey calls it." Ethan turned and rested his head against the wall. Tears coursed down his cheeks. He hadn't been able to take in much of what Dixie was saying. Honey's breathing had made him suspect the pneumothorax and there were obviously injuries to her face, arm and leg, but he had no idea what.

"Hi, Dylan. This is Lily Chao." Two more paramedics had appeared with a second trolley.

"Ethan! Ethan, I am so sorry." Lily was sobbing hysterically. She was usually so calm and controlled, but she always fell apart when she was hurt.

Ethan controlled his own sobs with an effort went quickly to her side. "It's all right, Lily." He spoke as softly as his tears allowed so Dylan would be able to hear the paramedic. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Try not to worry now. Dylan's here and he's going to look after you."

"They said she might have fractured her tibia, her fibula, her ulna, her zygoma!" cried Lily. "And I was driving and I am barely hurt at all!"

Dylan spoke firmly. "I'll be the judge of that, Lily."

Lily sobbed some more. "I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't mean anything. I was just driving. I was waiting to turn into a minor road. He came too fast up the minor road and didn't stop."

"Did you ask for a complete lunatic to liven up your driving lesson?" asked Dylan.

"What?" said Lily. "No. Of course not"

"Then it's not your fault, is it?" said Dylan.

"I just want Honey to be all right," wept Lily.

Dylan nodded. "At the moment, we have no reason to assume she won't be. Small Resus, please."

Ethan wondered why they were going into Small Resus, but then he realised. Dylan knew it would be distressing for Lily to see Honey being given treatment, especially when she believed she was responsible for Honey's injuries. Dylan had realised that – and he'd cared.

Honey would be so happy to hear about that. Ethan resolved to make sure he told her – assuming Lily didn't tell her first.

He lingered for a moment outside the main Resus, but he didn't go in. He knew he wouldn't be welcome.

But he was also too scared to go in.

He couldn't lost Honey. He couldn't.


	82. Chapter 82

**InfinityAndOne** , the list-like handovers work really well in Casualty and there's always something to see too, but I'd rather write something a bit more emotional! I just hope it doesn't get repetitive as Ethan tells Noel and the others about Honey in this chapter. I'm not sure Ethan could cope if he lost Honey! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Ethan really was struggling there and he still isn't completely sure what's wrong with Honey as Lily is very distressed so for once, she might not be completely reliable. This chapter isn't going to be easy for him either!

 **Tanith Panic** , killing off Honey would certainly be a cruel twist after she and Ethan have gone through so much! But I did kill Rita once so you know I can be cruel! They say opposites attract and Lofty and Louise are certainly opposites. There might be more caring Dylan to come! Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. It's not like Lily to show emotions, but she was hysterical after the minibus crash. I thought this would upset her at least as much as she was driving. Dylan losing control is slightly more difficult to imagine though! I thought even when he's being kind, he'd still be Dylan.

 _Thank you to **nikkiireland6** for the follow and favourite._

* * *

"Have you seen her?" asked Noel, as Ethan re-enterd the staff room.

Ethan sank down onto the sofa and held his head in his hands for a moment. He knew anything less than an immediate answer would worry Noel, but Ethan was upset and needed a moment to recover himself. He felt tears building up in his eyes again and blinked to get rid of them. "I've seen her," he managed at last.

"Well?" said Noel sharply, when Ethan didn't continue. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's conscious," said Ethan, his voice strained and weak. "She didn't say anything, but she was probably a bit shocked. She's very upset, of course."

"So, she's got no injuries then?" said Louise.

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry," said Ethan, trying to get control of himself. He reminded himself that he was a doctor and Noel was a relative, but Connie was right. He wasn't thinking as a doctor now. "The accident happened when a car came out of a junction instead of waiting and drove into the passenger side of the car, where Honey was sitting. It was in no way Lily's fault."

"But what about my daughter?" said Noel.

Louise gave Ethan a stern look. "I'm sure Ethan's just getting to that."

"Yes. Yes, I'm getting to it," said Ethan. He realised he sounded agitated and tried to speak more calmly. "Um, it could have been a lot worse. It's possible she's fractured her left arm and leg, but they're not certain. She also suffered cuts to her face, but they don't look too serious. I know it sounds frightening, but these are all injuries a hospital can treat very easily. So, um… I'm sure Mrs Beauchamp is working on that as we speak."

"So, what about her head and neck?" demanded Louise. "Her spine? Did she suffer a head injury or whiplash?"

Ethan saw Noel flinch. He wished he'd listened to Dixie, but he'd been so distracted by Honey. Lily hadn't mentioned Honey's head and neck, which was probably a good sign as Lily usually took note of everything, but Lily was distraught and could easily have omitted to mention something.

Ethan tried to clear away the emotion lodged in his throat. "I, um, they'll take care of that in Resus, I imagine - but it is a standard procedure." He tried to smile at Noel. "Mrs Beauchamp is with her, so she's in the best possible hands."

"Sounds like you don't know very much at all," said Louise.

"I'm sorry. I was focusing on Honey," said Ethan. "She was crying and I was so worried – but that doesn't mean I have a reason to worry. I'm sure she'll be fine."

But he wasn't convincing himself and he doubted he'd said anything to reassure Noel either.

 _I used to be good at this_ , thought Ethan guiltily, but Connie was right. It was very different being a relative instead of a doctor – and considering how he'd fallen apart even when Honey had entered the hospital, he could only admire the strength Cal must have found in order to save Ethan's life.

* * *

Ethan looked up when he heard running footsteps, terrified it was someone with bad news about Honey. He couldn't describe the relief he felt when he realised it was Cal and Robyn. Connie must have phoned them – and Ethan was so glad she had.

Robyn's eyes were red and Cal's arm was around her. He whispered a few words to her before sitting down beside Ethan and giving him a hug. "How is she?"

"I don't know," said Ethan, feeling close to tears again now his big brother was here. "They won't tell me anything. I'm so scared. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it."

Cal rubbed circles on his back. "You're a lot calmer than I'd be if it was Robyn! No, Robyn, don't bend down. I'll find you something to sit on."

Robyn ignored him, keeping one hand on her tiny bump as she touched Noel's arm and spoke in a trembling voice. "Hi, Noel. I don't have any news, but if there's anything I can do, just let me know, okay?"

"Thanks, Robyn," said Noel.

Robyn smiled and went to sit beside Louise – which was just as well because Ethan could tell Cal was going to object again. Some people thought Cal was bossy, but Ethan knew Cal was scared to death something was going to go wrong with Robyn or the baby and he wanted to take every precaution possible to keep them baby safe.

Ethan took his glasses off and wiped his eyes. "Sorry. I'm okay really. It's just… Honey had to go through so much with her thyroid and now her levels are finally stable and she's on the right amount of thyroxine and in three months we're getting married and what if she's injured herself in a way that will prevent her from having children? I'll still love her just as much, but how's she going to feel?"

Cal held him tightly as Ethan finally stopped fighting his tears. He stroked Ethan's hair as he sobbed into his big brother's chest. "It's okay, buddy. I'm here. Whatever happens, I'll be here."

"I'm sorry," sniffled Ethan.

"No. Don't apologise. Just cry as much as you need. Honey will need you to be strong later, but you don't have to be strong now." Cal rubbed Ethan's back. "Do we know the extent of her injuries?"

"I don't think so," said Louise. "Ethan was there when she came in, but I don't think he really took in what was wrong."

"Can you blame him?" said Cal. "Honey's his fiancée. Just because he's the best doctor in the hospital… oh, um, after me, I mean… that doesn't mean he can stop himself from caring. Robyn darling, don't lean over like that. Come and sit on my lap if you want to be closer to Ethan."

"Cal, I'll let you off for being so bossy now, but we'll have a conversation later, okay?" said Robyn.

Ethan had always suspected Cal quite enjoyed it when Robyn told him off, though he couldn't feel amused by it now. He felt Robyn's hand on his back.

"Ethan, I know they're doing everything they can," she said, her voice choked. "Let me know if there's anything I can do, okay?"

"Thank you," whispered Ethan. Even though it was embarrassing to be crying in front of Noel and Louise (though he'd cried in front of Noel before), he was glad so many people were there for him because he knew that meant they'd be there for Honey too.

He stayed in Cal's arms for a bit longer, then he sat up and gratefully accepted a tissue from Robyn, apologising to all of them for making such a fuss.

"You're not making a fuss," said Robyn. "Honey's your fiancée. I'd think you were in denial if you weren't upset."

"Yeah, but Noel's her dad," said Louise.

Noel patted Ethan's shoulder. "I am. And I'm a very proud dad. But Ethan's at least an important a part of Honey's life as I am – and I haven't known Honey for much longer than he has."

He spoke quite mildly, but it got through to Louise. She mumbled an apology and went very quiet.

Ethan wasn't sure if that meant there was something between Noel and Louise or that there wasn't. He hoped not as Honey really had her heart on fixing Louise up with Lofty, but he'd promised himself that if ever Honey wasn't happy with something, he would do everything he could to help her to deal with it.

He just hoped he was going to get the chance.

Time passed. Sometimes they talked; sometimes they sat in silence. Several times one of them sat up in a panic because they thought they'd heard someone coming. Sometimes they were correct, but it was never anyone with news.

Then they heard someone crying.

"I think it's Lily," whispered Robyn.

The crying got louder. Then Dylan and Lily entered together.

"Have you heard anything about Honey?" burst out Noel.

Ethan would have asked the same question, but his throat was too dry.

Robyn stood up, ignoring Cal's protests, and went over to Lily. "Hey. Are you okay, Lily? Sorry. Stupid question. It must have been a horrible shock."

Lily looked towards the sofa, tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, it wasn't your fault!" said Robyn.

"I have told her it seems very unlikely," said Dylan. "But she isn't listening to me." He sounded almost as though that bothered him.

Robyn put her arm around Lily. "Come and sit down and I'm sure Dylan will make you some tea or something if you want it."

"Oh… er… yes," said Dylan. "It's not as though I have a job to do." But he turned and walked towards the kettle.

Lily disentangled herself gently from Robyn and followed him. "Thank you for staying with me," she said as she dabbed her eyes.

"I was… happy to stay with you," said Dylan.

"Does… does your dog shed a lot of hair?"

Louise stared. "What's she on about?"

"I wouldn't say she sheds any more than most," said Dylan. "Go and sit with Robyn before you fall down. I have better things to do than scraping you off the floor."

Cal started to laugh, then quickly stifled it at a glare from Robyn. "If I was Dylan, and Lily was on the floor, the last thing on my mind would be getting her _off_ the floor."

"But you are not Dylan," said Lily coolly. "And I don't mean that as a compliment." She sat beside Robyn and started to dry her tears.

"I'm actually glad I'm not," said Cal. "Not that Lily isn't beautiful, but I wouldn't change anything about my life. I mean, I've got _Robyn_."

Ethan looked down at his hands. _I just hope I've still got Honey. If I lost her…_

They heard footsteps.

Connie appeared.

Ethan knew he'd be teased about it forever, but he couldn't help grabbing Cal's hand.


	83. Chapter 83

**westlife4ever80** , I'd like to be charitable and say Louise was stressed for Noel's sake and didn't know quite what she was saying, but knowing Louise... Ethan did quite well really - he managed to remember a lot of what Lily said and he tried not to upset Noel. What else could Louise expect? Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I hope Cal won't flirt with too many other ladies - if he breaks Robyn's heart, I will have to kill him! Assuming no-one else gets there first. I think Lily will enjoy Dervla's companionship once her allergies are under control. You'll have to wait and see about Honey and Ethan! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , it must be terrifying - they were probably all hoping for some reassurance from Ethan, but he couldn't provide it. And they've probably all (apart from Noel) seen what happens in the worst-case-scenario. Robyn deserves a caring boyfriend so I'm making Cal step up, just for her! Thank you for your review.

* * *

"Honey's going to be fine," said Connie. "She has a few injuries, which I'll talk you through, but nothing too serious. She's being moved to a private room now, so we'll give her a few minutes to get settled, then I'll take you Noel and Ethan along to see her. I'm sure the rest of you will be able to see her later. We treated Honey for a pneumothorax. She also has a Grade 1 whiplash injury, which means some pain but no signs of serious damage. Additionally, she has fractured her left radius and ulna – the two bones in her forearm – which sounds worrying, I know, but in adults, it's unusual to fracture one and not the other. We've immobilised her arm in a cast, but they're both simple fractures so there was no need for surgery. We expect the fractures to heal in six to eight weeks. Her leg is badly bruised, but there's no fracture. There are also various small cuts to her face, but these should heal without permanent scarring." Connie looked at them all sympathetically. "I know it must all have been a shock, but I will be very surprised if Honey doesn't make a full recovery."

Lily put her hand over her mouth and began to cry again. Robyn hugged her. Ethan felt Cal's thumb moving gently across the back of his hand, which just about stopped him from crying too.

Dylan, apparently unmoved, walked across the room and put cups of tea down in front of Lily and Ethan. It looked as though he'd made tea for everyone.

Ethan was all the more touched by his thoughtfulness because it was so unusual. "Thank you, Dylan."

"You're welcome," said Dylan. "I didn't have anything else to do, after all."

Ethan sensed the sarcasm, but he also sensed that Dylan really didn't mind. Dylan went to get some more tea, which he gave to Noel and Robyn. Cal and Louise had to wait till last.

"We'll wait five minutes, so you've got time to drink at least some of your tea," said Connie. "Do you have any more questions?"

Lily sniffed. "Was it my fault?"

"It's difficult to say for certain, but I wouldn't imagine so," said Connie. "She's going to be fine. That's the important thing. You must be very shaken up though, Lily, so you can have the rest of the day off, and Ethan, we should be able to manage without you for the rest of the morning."

"I can help out if you're short," offered Cal.

Connie looked surprised, but she quickly hid it. "That would be very kind, Dr Knight. If you could work until Ethan's ready, that would be very helpful."

Robyn smiled lovingly at Cal, too proud of her fiancé to mind that their day off together had been cut short.

Ethan had to admit he was proud of Cal too.

It was a new feeling, but he liked it.

* * *

Ethan was trembling slightly as he and Noel made their way to Honey's room, but he did his best to reassure Noel. "It can be a bit scary seeing someone you love like that, but it's probably going to look worse than it is. If Mrs Beauchamp is correct – and I've certainly never known her to be wrong – she'll be completely recovered within two months."

They arrived at Honey's room. Ethan knocked on the door before opening it. He'd seen patients in far worse condition than Honey, but he couldn't restrain a gasp when he saw his fiancée with a chest drain, a plaster on her arm, dressings on her face, a collar around her neck and a cannula. He rushed forward and grasped her uninjured hand. "Oh, Honey, are you all right?" he asked, his eyes filling with tears. He took his glasses off and awkwardly wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I don't mind if you cry," said Honey. She smiled and squeezed his hand. "I think it's sweet when men show their emotions. I'm fine. And look: I've got a chest train!"

"Congratulations," said Ethan, trying to smile. It seemed only right to congratulate her when she looked so proud of herself. He wiped his eyes again and put his glasses on again before bending to kiss the largest area of skin on her face that wasn't cut or bruised. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"Okay, I think," said Honey. "A bit battered, but I think I was lucky considering what happened. I'm worried about Lily though. Mrs Beauchamp told me she's not hurt, but I hope she doesn't think it was her fault because it wasn't!"

"We've told Lily it wasn't her fault," said Ethan. "I'm sure she'll be along to see you later." He looked over at Noel, who was hovering by the door. "I'm sorry: I'm monopolising your daughter, aren't I?"

Noel smiled and shook his head. "It's okay. I just thought you'd like a moment together." He went to the other side of the bed and put his hand on Honey's shoulder. "It's good to see you in such good spirits, love."

"I might be a bit high on pain relief," said Honey, "but I think I'm okay. I mean, I'm going to marry Ethan in three months and then we're going to have a baby! That was the first thing I asked, after I asked about Lily. Mrs Beauchamp says I'll still be able to get married and have a baby, so I'm happy." But her smile did fade slightly as she looked up at Ethan. "You've been crying, haven't you? I'm sorry I scared you."

Ethan immediately started tearing up again. "I'm okay. I'm just happy you're okay. I love you, Honey. I was so scared when Mrs Beauchamp told me something had happened to you. I love you so much and I can't… oh my goodness. I'm so sorry." Ethan sniffed and wiped more tears away.

Honey squeezed his hand. "I'm lucky you care so much. But don't cry, Ethan. I really am okay."

Ethan sniffed again and tried to think about something else. "Did you know Dylan treated Lily?"

Honey looked excited. "Oh my God: really? Did anything happen?"

"Nothing very much," said Ethan, "but he brought Lily to the staff room afterwards and made her a cup of tea. He told her the accident was very unlikely to be her fault. He's not usually that reassuring. I hope you won't get too excited because I don't really know very much about relationships, but I've never seen Dylan being that supportive to anyone."

"Oh, that's brilliant!" said Honey. "I really want Lily to be happy and Dylan would be perfect for her. That's three weddings sorted already then. We just need to sort out Louise and Lofty, and get Zoe and Max back together. I think Rita and Iain are going to sort themselves out."

Noel looked very uncomfortable. "I'm not quite sure… Louise and Lofty…"

"Why not?" said Honey. "They'd be a brilliant couple. Opposites attract and all that. Lofty would get rid of Louise's sharp edges and she'd toughen him up a bit."

"Would it… bother you if Louise went out with… someone else?" said Noel.

"Yeah, I'd want to kill him!" said Honey. "Ruining all my romantic plans. I mean, how dare he? But it probably won't last."

"Maybe it won't," said Noel.

Then the door opened and Alicia burst in, her pink-tipped pony tail jumping behind her. "Hey, Honey! How are you, babe?"

Ethan wondered what would be the politest way of asking her to go away. He didn't want Honey to tire herself out and if she did want to see anyone else, it would be Lily. But Alicia had never been very good at taking hints.

"I'm fine, thanks," said Honey.

Alicia started fussing round her, checking the cannula and taking her pulse before trying to change the arrangement of Honey's pillows. "Is there anything you need? More pain relief? Maybe something to eat?"

"I'm fine, thanks," said Honey again, leaning back awkwardly on her pillows. "I would like to see Lily though. Maybe you could ask her to come to see me?"

"Are you sure you're up to another visitor?" said Alicia.

Honey carried on smiling sweetly. "I am if it's Lily."

"We need to get together for a girls' night out soon," said Alicia. "You and me and Louise and Robyn."

"Yeah... great," said Honey. "Maybe Lily could come too."

Alicia smiled even more widely. "I don't think Lily likes girls' nights out, but we can ask her!"

"She's just a bit shy and obviously she didn't go out anywhere after her dad died," said Honey. "But she's great. She's my best mate and I love her to bits."

"That's so sweet!" said Alicia. "I'll go and get Lily for you."

* * *

Honey could see how nervous Lily was. Alicia's arm around her shoulders probably wasn't helping. Honey tried not to be annoyed with Alicia. It wasn't really her fault she wasn't very good at looking at things from other people's points of view. Alicia liked to hug people who were sad or frightened and it probably hadn't occurred to her that there were some people who would feel uncomfortable with a hug. Lily only liked to be hugged by very close friends.

"Do you want me to stay?" asked Alicia in a caring voice.

"No, thank you," said Lily shortly. She wasn't usually so abrupt now, but she'd been through a traumatic experience and now Alicia was getting into her personal space.

Alicia patted her shoulder. "Okay, babe. Come and find me if you need me later, yeah?" She finally left Lily alone.

Honey waited until she'd gone, then smiled at Lily, but Lily wasn't looking at her. She walked slowly to Honey's side, her eyes downcast, though she did look a bit more comfortable now Alicia had gone. Honey could see she'd been crying and it looked like she had tears in her eyes now. "It's okay, Lily. I'm fine."

"I'm so sorry," said Lily in a choked voice.

"Lily, it wasn't your fault!" said Honey.

"I've ruined your car," said Lily.

"It doesn't matter. I'm just happy you're okay," said Honey. She looked Lily up and down. "You are okay, aren't you?"

Lily nodded, her breathing shaky. "I'm okay."

"I'm okay too," said Honey. "So don't worry anymore, okay?" She reached out her hand and Lily took it in her own. "Alicia's invited us, Robyn and Louise to a girls' night out. Do you want to go or should we tell them we're busy?"

"I don't think you're anything like recovered enough for a girls' night out," said Lily firmly. "But I would like to spend the time with you, if you don't hate me."

Honey squeezed Lily's hand. "How could I ever hate you? If you don't count Ethan and my dad, you're my favourite person ever."


	84. Chapter 84

**Tanith** **Panic** , I do like drama, but I often find if it's nothing but drama, I either become immune to the drama or I'm permanently stressed and upset by it. I'm not sure whether this chapter is harrowing or not... for some people, maybe! I think a chest train sounds quite nice! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen** **Fan** , it is a good thing that Honey was able to reassure Lily - I could have written a big argument, but I like them being friends because they're so different. I think Honey's quite unpredictable - she might make a big fuss or she might forgive everyone anything! Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever** , I think Honey's starting to learn what the most important things in life are - her car is lovely, but best friends are better. Though she hasn't reached the stage where she objects to being the centre of attention! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey could tell Lily wasn't happy. Her face looked calm and composed with just a hint of professional steeliness, but Honey knew.

She came out from behind the counter to give Lily a hug. She was finally back at work after recovering from the accident, though she was part-time at Ethan's insistence. (Honey frowned slightly: Ethan was another problem. Well, not a problem exactly, but now he couldn't forgive himself.)

"What is wrong?" asked Lily, clearly noticing the look on Honey's face. The trouble with having a best friend you could read like a book was that they tended to return the favour.

"Nothing: just Ethan going on another guilt trip," said Honey. "His words, not mine. He felt even worse when he realised he'd said the word 'trip'. It's a good thing we're not drug addicts really."

"What happened?" asked Lily.

"We got a postcard from Cal and Robyn. I didn't know people still sent postcards. It must have been Robyn's idea. Cal wrote: _Having a great time, glad you're not here!_ and Robyn added that he didn't really mean that before telling us what they've been doing and then underneath that, Cal wrote: _yes I did mean it!_ "

A slight movement in Lily's eyes showed she was more amused than she was pretending "I am pleased they are having a nice time. They deserve to be happy."

"What, even Cal?" said Honey teasingly.

Lily nodded. "He is a different man since the con artist. He will be a devoted husband."

"So will Dylan," said Honey.

Lily's face was transformed by a smile as she looked down at her sparkling engagement ring.

When she'd first seen Lily's ring, Honey had been slightly jealous, but it hadn't lasted. She wouldn't have swapped Ethan's mother's engagement ring for anything (except her wedding ring). Her engagement ring might not be as sparkly as Lily's ring, but it _meant_ something.

But she could see Lily's ring meant something too.

Then Lily's smile faded.

"What is it?" said Honey, as a horrible thought clawed at her heart. "There's nothing wrong with you and Dylan, is there?"

There was a horrified gasp from behind them. "Oh no! You and Dylan haven't had a fight, have you, Lily?" Alicia was standing there, her eyes were big with sympathy. She gave Lily a hug. "I'm so sorry, babe."

Lily tensed visibly, but Alicia didn't seem to notice.

"I can't discuss it here," said Lily. "Would you meet me for lunch, please, Honey?"

"Of course," said Honey.

Alicia hugged Lily closer to her. "I'll be there too."

Lily gritted her teeth. She was trying so hard to be polite to Alicia at all times, but sometimes it was difficult.

Alicia turned to Honey. "I had a chat to Ethan today."

 _Oh, you did, did you?_ thought Honey. "That's nice. How's he doing? I haven't seen him for half an hour, so I'm really starting to miss him."

"That's so sweet," said Alicia, smiling soppily. "He's still a bit down. You really need to talk to him." A worried look crossed her face. "You don't blame him, do you?

"Of course I don't blame him," said Honey. "He just got caught up in surprising me and he forgot for a minute."

Lily released herself from Alicia's embrace with just a little bit too much force. "I must go back to work now, Honey."

"I'll go with you," said Alicia.

Honey watched them go sympathetically. Alicia really wanted to be friends and only knew one way of showing friendship. Lily wasn't against the idea of being friends, but she wanted things to move a lot more slowly.

Honey wasn't quite sure what to do about it. She didn't want to exclude Alicia. That would be horrible. But Lily had a problem and Lily was a very private problem. Honey knew she wouldn't get one word out of Lily if Alicia tagged along.

* * *

Ethan felt guilt stabbing at his chest as he made his way towards the shop. There were two reasons for this. Firstly. He was a bit later than he'd promised Honey. Secondly because he still couldn't forgive himself for booking that holiday.

He thought it would be the perfect surprise for Honey after having the plaster cast removed from her arm. Five nights in Dubai… not somewhere Ethan would have chosen, but he knew Honey had always wanted to go there, so he'd gone ahead and booked it and told her over dinner at Honey's favourite restaurant.

He still remembered the absolute delight on Honey's face - which had lasted for all of two seconds before it was replaced by deep sadness. "I can't go, Ethan."

"Why not?" he'd asked, but then Honey had explained and he'd wanted to kick himself. He might even have done it if he wasn't worried about kicking Honey by mistake.

Although Honey was able to work and socialise and do most things as normal now, she did have to be careful of air travel as she could set off the radiation detector at the airport. She was permitted to travel, though she was advised to carry a letter from her doctor explaining about the treatment, but Honey and Ethan had decided they wanted to do everything right. No risks. They'd put everything off till the six months had passed. They'd agreed they wouldn't travel by air until their honeymoon. Ethan had been quite relieved. He found air travel terrifying enough without setting off radiation alarms. Aeroplanes flew so high. Ethan still got a little bit nervous sometimes on the stairs leading up to his flat.

But Ethan had forgotten their agreement. He'd got caught up in the excitement of surprising Honey and his initial plans for a weekend away in the country, which sounded perfect to Ethan, had grown into five nights in Dubai, which Honey would love.

They'd considered going anyway, but Ethan had been inwardly panicking about what would happen if Honey set the alarm off and their letter wasn't understood. Lots of people didn't know what hyperthyroidism was and although Ethan was fairly sure he could find out how to say it tin Arabic, he certainly couldn't have a conversation in the language. Honey knew how he felt about flying and security alarms and drawing attention to himself generally and had said it was a lovely idea and she appreciated the thought and she was happy to go, but if Ethan was worried, they could always give the tickets and hotel booking to Cal and Robyn.

Ethan had seized on this idea with perhaps more relief than he should have done, and now Cal and Robyn had gone and it was much too late to change his mind, he was feeling even more guilty because the fact was he and Honey could have gone to Dubai.

Even so, he couldn't help smiling when he entered the shop and saw Honey leaning on her counter. Her face lit up and she came running to meet him. "Ethan!"

"Honey!" he replied, hugging and kissing her. "I've missed you, darling. I'm sorry I was so long."

"Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder," said Honey.

Ethan had to kiss her several more times after that and it was some time before Honey got around to saying:

"Ethan, I need a big, big favour."

Ethan blushed. "Not at _work_ , Honey!"

"Oh, no, not that kind of favour!" said Honey, laughing. She gave him a teasing look. "Where does 'big, big' come into it anyway? 'Perfect size', yeah, but not 'big, big'. And I wouldn't want it to."

Ethan blushed even more. "What is the favour, Honey?"

"Lily wants to speak to me privately," said Honey. "But Alicia found out and now she's kind of invited herself and Lily's too nice to tell her to get lost. She's so worried about going over the top and making Alicia want to leave again. But if Alicia's there, Lily won't tell me and she really needs to talk."

"That does sound very difficult," said Ethan sympathetically. "What would you like me to do?"

"Just like, distract Alicia in some way?" said Honey. "I don't mean take all your clothes off and dance the mango – God, no! – but maybe you can find her some really difficult bit of work that will help her prepare for her M&Ms or whatever they're called?"

"MCEM," said Ethan. "I'll see what I can do, Honey."

Honey beamed at him. "I knew you'd be able to figure something out. I love you."

"I love you too." Several kisses later, Ethan and Honey said goodbye to each other (with Ethan apologising profusely to the queue that had formed) and went off to the nurse's station. "Louise. I was wondering."

Louise looked coy. "If you're wondering about me and Noel, the answer is no."

Ethan would have felt a lot more reassured if he'd believed her. "I was just thinking about Alicia."

"I'm really not sure Honey would like that."

"Oh, no, not like that!" said Ethan. "It was actually Honey who mentioned her. She's got her MCEM in a few months and I think it would really help her if she could get involved in some varied and interesting medical treatment."

Louise looked shocked. "Honey's doing MCEM? Are you sure you don't mean ELCs?"

"No, I mean _Alicia's_ doing MCEM – though I do think Honey would, um, give a very original and innovative performance if she took the exam," said Ethan. "Her bedside manner is exceptional."

Louise smirked. "Not really sure I wanted to know that, Ethan."

Ethan was bright red again. "Oh, goodness me, I didn't mean… I just mean…. bedside manner. With patients. Understanding their desires. No! Not desires. Needs. Wants. Making their wishes come true. No! Oh gosh. Nothing is coming out right today. Please say you know what I really mean."

"Relax," said Louise. "I know what you mean. Honey's good in bed."

"Yes. No! Yes! No. Yes. Oh my goodness." Ethan saw Zoe and ran over to her. "Zoe! Dr Hanna. Please help me."

Zoe looked slightly amused. "Yeah, you do look like you need help, Ethan. What's up?"

"I, I, um…" Ethan lowered his voice. "Lily wants to speak privately to Honey, but Alicia wants to join them and Lily doesn't want her to. Could you possibly find something really interesting for Alicia to do?"


	85. Chapter 85

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I don't think Cal will ever stop teasing Ethan! But I think there is a lot of affection behind it. I wasn't going to write about what Zoe gave Alicia to do, but I thought I would include it as you were interested and I really enjoyed writing about it! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think Alicia is being sensitive and kind in a way, but she's not helping! I haven't decided whether Honey's 'mango' is the tango or the mambo or perhaps some sort of exotic mixture, but I bet it's quite a fruity dance. I think getting rid of Cal for five days might count as a treat for Ethan! Thank you for your review and PM.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. I love it when Ethan gets flustered too. It's adorable! I do write scenes like that a lot, but I can't resist sometimes. I agree Zoe is a good choice to distract Alicia - she'll probably come up with something useful and she'll also understand the social dynamics of the situation.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , I hope you'll like my choice of a distraction technique for Alicia. I'm glad you liked the scene with Ethan and Louise. It probably was better not to explain the true situation to Louise as she really likes Alicia, but Ethan does tie himself in knots sometimes. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. Ethan didn't really do anything wrong at all and I think it's a shame they didn't go anyway, but it will be nice for Cal and Robyn. I bet Cal was a bit shocked when Ethan offered him a free holiday! Robyn probably made him offer to pay though. It's lovely to know I made you laugh.

* * *

"Alicia, I was wondering if you'd like to treat an inferior rectus muscle entrapment," said Zoe. "It's a paediatric patient with a greenstick fracture of the orbital floor. I know you love kids and it would be a good addition to your portfolio."

Alicia gave Zoe a big smile. "I'd love to! Thank you, Dr Hanna."

Ethan smiled to himself. He'd known Zoe would try to come up with something Alicia would enjoy.

"Lily, are you happy for me to borrow your mentee or would you rather come with us?" said Zoe.

Ethan crossed his fingers that Lily would let Alicia go.

"I'm sure Dr Munroe will do very well in your capable hands," said Lily. "I'll see you after lunch, Alicia."

She'd nearly made her escape when Alicia remembered. "Oh, I almost forgot! I promised Lily I'd chat to her about something important at lunch."

"It's all right," said Lily. "Please don't worry about me, Alicia. We can… catch up later. Good luck with your rectus muscle entrapment." When Zoe and Alicia had gone, she turned to Ethan. "Was that okay?"

"I thought you dealt with the situation very well," said Ethan.

* * *

Honey smiled when she saw Lily and Ethan arriving together. "Just the three of us then?"

"No, just the two of you," said Ethan. " I just wanted to say hello." He kissed Honey. "Alicia is conducting procedure on the inferior rectus muscle. "

Honey stared at him in horror. "Inferior _rectus_ muscle? You mean she's poking around in somebody's bum?"

"The inferior rectus muscle is in the eye," said Ethan. "It's one of the six muscles that control movement. The patient has suffered a fracture to one of the bones around the eye, but as the bone didn't break completely, it sprang back and trapped the inferior rectus muscle."

Honey loved the way Ethan explained medical procedures. Sometimes he used lots of long words which meant the explanation went over her head, but it was quite interesting when he explained properly.

"There's also a rectus abdominus muscle, which helps with breathing and lifting," said Ethan. "And there are muscles in the wall of the rectum, which-"

"Ethan. Honey is about to have her lunch," said Lily.

"Oh, right. Yes. Of course. Sorry," said Ethan. He looked sadly at Honey. "I'm so sorry we're here and not in Dubai."

Honey sighed indulgently. "Ethan, I told you. It's fine! It's good for Cal and Robyn to have a really nice break. They might not get a chance of another romantic break for years once the baby's born. They'll have the honeymoon obviously, but Robyn will be quite big by then and Cal will probably be in even more of a panic, so they probably won't be able to do much. We'll wait for our honeymoon like we agreed and then it'll be really special."

Ethan gave Honey a grateful hug. "I'll see you later, sweetheart." He kissed her lingeringly. "I love you."

"I love you too," Honey called after him. She turned back to Lily. "We'll get some food and go up to the on-call room. It's usually empty now Zoe and Max have split up. Though I do hope they get back together. They're meant to be. Just like me and Ethan and you and Dylan."

* * *

In the on-call room, Honey and Lily sat on the bed. Honey was turning something over in her mind. She knew that whatever Lily wanted to talk about must be important, but there was a small matter she wanted to get out of the way first.

"Lily, can I say something about Alicia?" said Honey a bit nervously.

Lily seemed nervous too. "Do you think I should have let her come with us?"

"No, of course not!" said Honey. "If you're having a private chat with me, then obviously she can't come. But I don't want to be, you know, cliquey."

"No," agreed Lily, but there was a wary look in her eyes.

"So I was thinking that we could, maybe, include her a little bit?" said Honey. "I'm not going to ask her to be my bridesmaid because she'll be gone by then, but maybe she could come out with us sometimes? I know Louise really likes her."

Lily looked unenthusiastic. "I find Alicia… challenging."

"Yeah, I know you do," said Honey. "And I think it's amazing how you manage to be with her all day when you're so different. But the thing is, she's a nice girl. She can get a bit overexcited sometimes and she doesn't always know when to back off, but I'm like that too and you like me, don't you?"

"Of course I like you," said Lily. "And I don't dislike Alicia. But I feel… intimidated by her."

Honey gave her a hug. "You don't need to, you know. She's more social than you, but that doesn't mean she's a better person. I'm just saying how about, one day, we invite her to come out with us? It might really help if you get to know each other socially."

"I'm not sure," said Lily.

"It's okay," said Honey. "I don't want to force you. But I don't want her to feel left out. You remember before we were friends, you felt left out sometimes, didn't you?"

"All the time," admitted Lily.

"Maybe Alicia feels the same," said Honey. "She does get on with Louise, but we're all going on about wedding stuff all the time and she probably does feel left out because she can't be mine and Robyn's bridesmaid."

Lily looked at the floor. "Are you saying that I should ask Alicia to be _my_ bridesmaid?"

Honey squeezed Lily's arm. "No, course not! You don't know her well enough yet and you've got to think of Dylan and what he wants. But you know, if she does come out with us sometimes and you do get to know her… maybe…"

"All right. We will invite Alicia to come to the cinema with us the day after tomorrow," said Lily. "We will see how it goes. If it goes well, I will invite her to my dinner party on Sunday." She looked pleadingly at Honey. "But I cannot promise any more than that. I know she's not a bad person, but I do feel… I feel afraid of her. Afraid that I'll never measure up."

Honey gave her a hug. "It's Alicia who's got to worry about not measuring up as far as I'm concerned! No-one measures up to you, Lily. Except Ethan and my dad. You'll always be my favourite and Ethan's favourite and probably Robyn and Cal's favourite and obviously Dylan's favourite! Now let's forget about Alicia and you can tell me what you're worried about."

Lily looked away. "It's Dylan."

"Oh no!" said Honey, upset. "What's happened? What's he done? Guys are such a nuisance sometimes."

"Dylan has done nothing," said Lily. "That is the problem. Do you remember I told you Dylan has a baby sister?"

Honey nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. Rihanna. I'm still waiting to see pictures of her."

"There aren't any," said Lily. "Rihanna's mother, Hazel, sends Dylan pictures all the time, but he deletes them. He doesn't want anything to do with them."

"it's probably more his dad than the baby," said Honey. "His dad's a right nutter."

"To put it extremely kindly," said Lily. Her eyes hardened with anger. "Brian is a horrible man and I can't believe the things he's said to Dylan and if he ever says anything like that in front of me, I will not answer for the consequences."

"Yeah, that's how I feel about Ethan," said Honey. "Except with Cal, of course. He gets away with it. But only because everyone knows he loves Ethan to bits really and he only says mean stuff so he can pretend he's cool."

Lily almost smiled. "That's very true about Cal. But Brian isn't like Cal and I can understand why Dylan doesn't want to speak to him. I support Dylan completely, but Rihanna is growing up with Brian, and Dylan knows how terrible that can be. Hazel might be stronger than Dylan's mother: I don't know. It's too early to say. But I think Rihanna needs a positive male role model."

"I think you're right," said Honey. "But loads of men are funny about babies. Even doctors. But what I reckon is, it's not really about the baby. Brian really hurt Dylan so he doesn't want to see him and that's going to be harder if he's got a relationship with his sister."

"So what should I do?" asked Lily.

Honey couldn't believe a doctor was actually asking her for advice. Ethan did it all the time, but Ethan was different. "Could Dylan maybe ask Hazel and Rihanna round at a time when you now Brian's out? Like maybe if he's into football like almost every bloke except our fiancés, you could call Hazel during a match and then invite them to come over during the next match?"

Lily looked thoughtful. "It is a good idea, Honey. But I will have to persuade Dylan to agree."

"If you suggest something where he won't have to see Brian, maybe he will agree," said Honey.

Lily nodded and smiled gratefully at Honey. "Thank you, Honey. I really appreciate your help and advice. You have changed."

"Have I?" Honey wasn't sure she liked the sound of that. "In a good way, I hope."

"No, you are still the same person," amended Lily. "You are still kind and supportive. But you are calmer now you no longer have the uncontrollable emotions caused by hyperthyroidism and that allows you to think more clearly. You are very intelligent, Honey."

Honey laughed and gave Lily a hug. "Now I know you're joking, Lily! But thank you. I do feel calmer now my butterfly's not flapping at a million times an hour anymore. And I'm really glad I helped you. I love you, Lily. You know that, don't you?"

"I... I love you too," said Lily, hugging her back.


	86. Chapter 86

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , Lily and Honey just didn't like each other in the show, though they were rivals for Ethan's attentions, which never helps! But I do think they could have learned from and helped each other. I love that Zoe really takes the trouble to get to know her colleagues as people rather than just workers. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , it is really tricky - they don't want to be unkind, but some people won't take a hint! It could have backfired horribly if Louise had guessed what they were up to or someone had overheard. I hadn't planned for Honey and Lily to become friends - I'm shocked by how well they seem to gel! Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. It's really good Zoe was around to help out as I don't think anyone else could have done it nearly as well. Zoe has a bit more experience of the world, but she still gets into awkward situations herself and knows exactly how it feels. I'm glad you like Honey and Lily's friendship.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. I do think it helped Lily to talk to Honey. I think maybe some of her problems in the show have happened because she doesn't have anyone to talk to. She has been close to Ethan and really helped him in the past, but he hasn't supported her as much, which is really sad.

 **Tanith Panic** , the situation with Dylan and Brian probably won't be as easily-resolved as Honey seems to think, but it's a start. I was a bit surprised to find the eye rectus muscles, but I thought it had possibilities for a character like Honey! Rectus means 'straight', though the rectus muscles are slightly curved. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey knew something had happened as soon as she saw Alicia.

Not that Alicia looked anything but happy and excited, but she was alone.

"Where's Louise?" asked Honey.

Alicia looked surprised. "Oh, didn't you know? She's got a date."

"Ooh, with Lofty?" asked Honey hopefully. She was more than ready to forgive Louise for standing them up if that was the case.

"No, I, um…" Alicia looked awkward. "I thought she said it was with your dad."

Honey shook her head, laughing. "Oh, that's not a date. No way! My dad and Louise are just mates. He's miles too old for her. And going out with your daughter's mates is just gross."

Alicia looked a bit uncertain, but then she smiled. "I'm sure you're right."

"Of course I'm right!" said Honey. "Are you ready to go then?"

"I… um…" Alicia fiddled with the strap of her pink bag. Her whole outfit was pink – pink top; pink jeans; pink shoes – and Honey thoroughly approved.

Honey put her hand on Alicia's arm. "What's up?"

"This is going to sound awful," said Alicia.

"Lots of things sound awful if you take them out of subtext," said Honey. "But I'm going to take it in subtext, aren't I?"

Alicia glanced guiltily towards Honey's car. "Are you sure Lily wants me to come? I was talking about it today and she seemed... maybe a bit off with me?"

Honey gave her a hug. "Lily's just really shy. Of course she wants you to come! It was her idea to invite you."

"Yeah, I thought she might be shy," said Alicia, looking relieved.

"Just keep things a bit calm and don't put too much pressure on her," said Honey. "Some shy people want you to draw them out, but Lily likes to get used to being with someone before she starts talking."

* * *

Honey could tell Lily was uncomfortable. She stood tensely in front of them in the queue, making no attempt to engage with the rest of them. Alicia was still exclaiming over Robyn's bump, which had definitely grown since she and Cal had been away.

"Have you thought about names yet?" asked Alicia.

Robyn smiled. "We talk about names pretty much every night! Cal likes Matilda Robyn for a girl, which I really like, though he's still convinced it's going to be a boy! He likes Ethan Caleb for a boy. I really like Benjamin Ethan Max – you know Ben is Lofty's real name, don't you, Alicia? – and Cal likes that too. But I really think it's going to be a girl."

Honey left the two chatting and went to stand beside Lily. "Are you all right?"

"Perhaps I'll go home," said Lily, without looking at Honey.

Honey did feel a little bit hurt, but she knew Lily found it very difficult to be sociable. "You'll be okay, Lily. It'll get easier. We won't have to talk so much once we're in the cinema anyway."

"Maybe I just can't do it," said Lily, her voice shaking. "Maybe I can't be with other people."

Honey took her hand and led her away from the others. "Lily, you're great with other people. You have a good time with the rest of us., including the other bridesmaids. It's just Alicia who's new. You just need to get used to her, like you got used to all of us. I don't think she's that difficult really. I love Louise, but she can be a right bitch sometimes and Zoe's like almost your boss which must be weird!"

"I feel so stupid," said Lily with tears in her eyes. "So inadequate."

Honey have her a hug. "Lily, you're none of those things! You're definitely not stupid and you're not inadequate either. Please don't go home. I want you to stay and I know you can do this."

* * *

The film was coming to an end. Honey and Robyn were both sobbing. Lily sat still, her face calm, though there were a few telltale signs that she was not unaffected. As Honey watched, Lily bit her lip and blinked a little bit harder than usual.

Alicia was sitting on Lily's other side (which wouldn't have been Honey's choice of seating arrangement, but she could hardly have told Alicia she couldn't sit there). She was crying too, though more quietly than Honey and Robyn, who were enjoying indulging themselves. Honey just hoped the noise they were making wasn't disturbing everyone else, though Honey knew they weren't the only people crying.

"Lily, I don't suppose you've got a tissue?" said Alicia, when the film finished. "I've run out! I didn't realise how sad it was going to be."

Lily unclasped her bag and reached inside it. "Here you are."

"Thank you," said Alicia gratefully, and dried her tears. "I'm sorry. You must think I'm so silly."

"Of course not," said Lily. "I think _I'm_ silly. I found the story sad too, but I was afraid to show my emotions."

"You don't need to be afraid!" said Alicia. "We won't think less of you."

Lily was silent for a moment. "I was brought up to hide my emotions. It helps me when I'm at work, but perhaps not so much in social situations."

"I wish I was a bit better at controlling mine," admitted Alicia. "They completely overpowered me tonight! Luckily, I have a bit more control at work."

Honey held her breath. She hoped Lily wouldn't accidentally say something that would upset Alicia.

"It is difficult sometimes at work too," said Lily. "If you ever feel upset, you can let me know. We all need a few minutes sometimes. Even Mrs Beauchamp."

* * *

Ethan enfolded Honey in his arms. "How did it go, sweetheart?"

"It went brilliantly!" said Honey. "Alicia cried, but Lily comforted her. Then afterwards, she invited Alicia to come to her girly dinner! Alicia was so happy, but she just about managed not to hug Lily."

Ethan bent to kiss her, almost overwhelmed with pride. Much as he loved Honey, she could be tactless at times, but now she was less emotional, she was able to think before she spoke and he knew she'd really helped Lily.

"I cried too," admitted Honey, slightly shamefacedly. "So did Robyn. We were in pieces!"

"I'm sure I would have been too," said Ethan. He was usually okay, but he had cried with Honey over a film once or twice. Or maybe three or four times. He found he could enjoy almost any film with Honey. Cuddled close to her, so attuned to her every thought and emotion, he found himself watching the films through Honey's eyes. And Honey's eyes tended to get very wet during films.

"Oh, and guess what!" said Honey. "Louise didn't come because she had a date with Lofty!"

Ethan looked startled. "With Lofty? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, she said so," said Honey. "Well, actually, it was Alicia who said so and she said it was with my dad, but that's just weird, isn't it?"

"I, um, yes," said Ethan. "I'm glad you had a good time, Honey. But I'm also glad you're here now."

Honey kissed him. "Shall we go to bed, then?"

"I, um…." He was blushing again. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Cal's in the living room."

"Ethan, I stay over every other night," said Honey. "I'm sure he knows we're not just sleeping."

Ethan's face was like a tomato. "I know, but… I'm sure he doesn't want to hear…"

"I'm really not sure Cal could help hearing!" said Honey. Her smile faded. "Though that is mostly my fault. I'm the one who keeps screaming."

"I would say actually that's maybe, um, more my fault?" Ethan said with another blush.

"I'm not sure about that," said Honey, pressing herself closer to him. "But maybe we could find out? If we experiment?"

"Experiment?" said Ethan, looking a bit anxious.

"Relax! I don't mean whips and chains," said Honey. "You know I'm not into all that. And I'm not going to ask Cal to join in either. That would just be weird!"

* * *

Honey pushed Ethan into the bedroom. She sat him on the bed and unbuttoned his shirt while he stared at her, his eyes bright and feverish. Honey took his shirt off and flung it on the floor, then she sat down and undid his trousers, accidentally brushing him in all sorts of places at the same time.

"Honey… I, um, Honey… I need to… Honey…"

Honey patted this thigh. "Yeah, I know. I need to as well. Just let me get your clothes off, then you can do mine."

"No, I didn't… I don't mean… Honey, please stop? Just for a minute... Please? Oh gosh. That's really quite... oh, Honey."

Honey sat back and smiled at him teasingly, his trousers now gaping open. "Were you trying to say something, Ethan?"

Ethan tried to regain control to his breathing. "Yes. I wanted to go and shut the door and put my, um, supplies on the bedside table where I can reach them. Oh, and we should check your, um, chart to make sure you're not… you know."

Honey stared at him in disbelief. "Seriously? I was doing that to you and you were thinking about doors and condoms and ovulation charts?"

Ethan nodded sheepishly. "Even Cal closes the door and we can't risk conception, so if you're, um, you know, in the middle of your… you know, then we can't… you know."

"Actually, I'm not in the middle of my 'you know'," said Honey. "And considering I'm on the pill and you're going to use a condom, I don't think there's much risk. But fine. If you're that worried, you can go without."

Ethan looked upset. "Um… what? Go _without_?"

"Yeah! You've proper ruined the mood now!" said Honey. She picked up Ethan's shirt from the floor and went to the other side of the bed to change into it. Ethan stayed where he was. Honey climbed into bed and sat pouting, her arms folded.

Ethan stood up. He looked a bit shaky as he finished undressing and put his pyjamas on. He climbed into bed beside Honey. "Honey, I'm so sorry."

Honey climbed on top of him. "Oh, just shut up and kiss me."


	87. Chapter 87

_I seemed to have changed my mind about finishing this... it looks like it's going to be quite a big longer!_

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , this is Casualty, so Robyn will be lucky to have a straightforward delivery! But I do want her and Cal to be happy. I like the idea of naming children after people who are important to you, though it's probably confusing sometimes. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I don't think lovely Ethan could stay in the doghouse for long! I might enjoy spying on Louise's date with Lofty, but I might not be quite so enthusiastic if it was Noel! The Casualty characters are special already, which helps, but I love what you say about my writing. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you found it convincing for Ethan to behave like that even when he's engaged. I don't think Honey could ever be mad at him for long! I think there's something romantic about Ethan even when he does spoil a romantic mood. I really like 'Matilda Robyn'.

 **westlife4ever80** , I think it would be interesting for Lily and Alicia to become friends - Lily is lovely and she really needs a friend, though Alicia isn't coming across very well at the moment and she seems very determined not to be Lily's friend. Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to Racheybop for the favourite._

* * *

"So… you and Honey had a good night last night?" said Cal.

Ethan blushed. "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't you?" Cal smiled teasingly. "It sounded like fun. If you weren't my brother, I might have been tempted to join you."

Ethan glared at him. "I really don't think we should be discussing this at work, Caleb."

"Oh, so you think I should have mentioned it at the breakfast table in front of Honey?" said Cal. "Okay, Nibbles. I'll remember that for next time."

"Don't mention it at all!" Ethan stalked off to do some work, aware of Cal's laughter behind him..

* * *

Honey was bored in the shop. Hardly anyone wanted to buy anything. Plenty of people came in and looked and even picked things up, but they always put them back on the shelf and left. She tried tempting them with coffee and tea, but no-one seemed to be thirsty.

She was glad to see Louise. "Your usual, yeah?" she asked, already turning towards the coffee machine.

"I was wondering if we could have a chat," said Louise.

"Great idea!" said Honey. "I'll make myself a coffee too. Then you can tell me all about Lofty."

"Lofty?" said Louise.

Honey smiled knowingly. "You don't have to pretende, Louise. I know what's going on!"

"No offence, Honey, but I actually don't think you do," said Louise.

Honey looked at her in surprise. "What is going on then?"

Louise seemed about to reply when the man himself appeared.

"Sorry, Louise. But we've got a major RTC. ETA five minutes."

Honey smiled to herself as she wondered what RTC and ETA stood for.

"Sorry, Honey. We'll have to chat another time," said Louise.

"Have a nice time!" said Honey, winking at them both.

Lofty looked a little bit surprised, but he said nothing.

* * *

Honey hoped to catch up with Louise later that day, but Louise didn't return to the shop and Honey had plans with Ethan after work.

Ethan whisked her off to a really posh restaurant with candles and everything. Honey felt a little bit underdressed in her mini-dress, but Ethan assured her she was the most beautiful woman in the room. "In the world, actually. Have you had a good day, darling?"

Honey grabbed his hand. "Oh, you'll never guess what Louise and Lofty were doing in my shop!"

"Nothing they shouldn't be, I hope," said Ethan, looking a bit worried.

"They were talking dirty!" said Honey. "They were using like, initials for everything instead of spelling it out. It was RTC and ETA, I think. I still haven't worked out what it meant, but I bet it was rude."

Ethan hesitated. "Um, RTC means 'road traffic collision' and ETA means 'estimated time of arrival'."

"Then the RTC's obviously when they do it and the ETA is when they finish," said Honey, pleased with herself for working this out.

"Um, Honey." Ethan reached across the table for her hand. "I don't want to disappoint you, sweetheart. But… about Louise and Lofty."

Honey felt her face lighting up. "Yeah? Have you heard any gossip?"

"I… um…" said Ethan, but they were interrupted by the waiter.

When he'd finally gone, Honey reminded Ethan of what they were talking about.

"I… I don't think I really want to talk about other couples on our date," said Ethan. "I'd much rather talk about us."

Honey had to admit she really didn't mind.

* * *

Honey had another nice meal out at Lily's dinner party. Honey had been a bit worried that Lily would feel uncomfortable with Alicia there or that Alicia would feel left out by the wedding talk, but they all seemed to be having a great time, especially once they got onto the subject of workplace sex.

"I was doing some paperwork in my office," said Zoe, "but there was work being done outside and I couldn't concentrate. So I decided to go up to the on-call room and work there instead."

"And let me guess. It wasn't empty," said Rita.

"It was completely empty," said Zoe. "So I sat at the table and started work and then…"

Honey was practically bouncing up and down in her seat. Lily sat like statue, her face impassive, but Honey knew she was waiting for the next part just as eagerly as the rest of them.

"…and then Charlie came in and did a striptease?" said Louise.

"Ew, Louise! Not when we're eating!" said Honey.

Zoe was smiling. "No, it wasn't Charlie. It was Max."

"I knew it!" said Alicia.

Robyn pretended to cover her ears. "Okay, I'm not going to listen to this part."

"He never actually said what he was doing there," said Zoe. "He must have got distracted."

"Now, there's a surprise," said Rita.

"He moved my papers off the desk, put them carefully aside, and then sat on my desk," said Zoe.

"Sat on it? Or lay on it?" gasped Alicia.

"And did he do a striptease?" said Louise.

Honey laughed. "You're obsessed, Lou! Has someone maybe been doing a striptease for you? I bet I know who!"

Zoe clearly wasn't interested in Louise's stripteases. "He just sort of sat there and we chatted, but our conversation was getting more and more… suggestive."

"I like it when that happens," said Rita. "Sometimes Iain doesn't even need to say anything. He just looks at me."

"It was very clear what he was after," said Zoe. "And I don't mind saying, I was tempted."

Lily looked slightly disapproving. "I hope you didn't give in that easily, Zoe."

"Of course not!" said Zoe. "What do you all take me for? I sent him on his way, of course."

Louise groaned, while Rita and Alicia looked as disappointed as Honey felt.

"But he came back about five minutes later," said Zoe. "And let's say I wasn't quite so stern with him this time… soon, I was the one on the desk and he was on top of me and it was like the last few months had never happened. And then... someone knocked on the door."

Honey gasped. "Oh no! Who was it? Did they come in?"

"It was Charlie," said Zoe. "He said: 'Zoe, Connie wants to see you in her office. And I'm sure you've got some work to do too, Max'. So he'd obviously... heard something! With some people, I wouldn't have minded so much, but Charlie's always so professional himself. I felt like a naughty schoolgirl and I was terrified of going to see Connie. I was convinced she knew! I mean, what doesn't she know? But she didn't mention it."

Rita looked at her sympathetically. "Isn't it always the worst possible people who catch you? Me and Iain had an awkward moment recently. We were… in the back of an ambulance. Enjoying ourselves. Then we heard Jez's voice, calling Iain's name, saying they'd been called out."

"What did you do?" said Alicia.

"Ignored him and pretended we weren't there," said Rita. "But then Jez said: 'Fine! I'll go without you!' And he jumped into the driver's seat and drove off with us in the back."

"I bet the vibration was good," said Louise.

"I hope you were able to help the patient," said Lily.

Honey smiled at Lily affectionately. Typical Lily: worrying about things like that! And she was right too. The patient was the most important thing.

"Jez drove for a while," said Rita. "We were trying to get dressed in the back, but let's say we had certain items of clothing missing."

"Did you do the rest of the day commando?" asked Honey.

"No: we had no trouble finding our underwear," said Rita. "But we couldn't find my uniform. Iain had thrown it somewhere. And then we realised he must have thrown it onto the front seat."

Honey and Alicia both gasped in horror.

"What did you do?" asked Alicia breathlessly.

"The ambulance stopped and Jez got out," said Rita. "Iain looked at the front seat, but he couldn't see my uniform. We heard Jez talking to someone, then he suddenly opened the doors!"

"I hope you didn't give the patient a cardiac arrest," said Lily.

"No, but Iain nearly murdered Jez," said Rita. "There was no call; no patient. Just Jez trying to scare us to death. And _he_ had my uniform! Iain tried to give him a dressing down for misusing hospital equipment, but he didn't really have a leg to stand on considering what we were up to."

"I hope it wasn't too embarrassing for you," said Honey.

Rita smiled. "Don't worry. I'm sure I'll live."

"You'd probably do it again if I know you two," said Zoe.

"Probably!" admitted Rita.

"Me and.. um… my mystery man nearly got caught in one of the cupboards," said Louise. "We had to hide behind a shelf. I could tell he was about to laugh and I knew that would give us away, which I wasn't that keen on considering what I was wearing… or maybe what I wasn't wearing… so I gave him a death glare. That sorted him out. He didn't laugh. Though things got pretty tense when Charlie found my bra. He said Cal probably knew something about it and carried it off! And no, I haven't asked for it back."

"So, who is your mystery man?" asked Alicia.

"I know who he is!" shouted out Honey.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" said Louise. "Come on, Robyn. You're with Cal Knight! You must have had sex at work."

Robyn blushed prettily. "Well, it wasn't really actual sex, but we did get a bit over-excited in a cubicle. Mrs Beauchamp came in and Cal said my heart was rating and she said: 'Yes, I imagine it is! Get back to work _immediately_!' Cal said: 'Okay, if you say so', and kind of, um, got back to work on _me_ , but then Mrs Beauchamp said: ' _Dr Knight_!' and he went all quiet and left in a hurry. He didn't come near me for the rest of the day."

Honey looked at Lily. "Have you and Dylan ever had sex at work?"

Lily looked shocked. "Certainly not! As I told you, we're waiting for the wedding night. But even when we're married, it will never happen at work."

"I'm glad, to be honest," said Honey. "I'd hate being the only one who hasn't had sex at work."

"I haven't," said Alicia.

"Then we'd better find someone to fix you up with!" said Honey. "I'm quite a good matchmaker. I knew Lily and Dylan, Rita and Iain, Zoe and Max, and Louise and Lofty belonged together. And I was right!

Lily cleared her throat nervously. "I was wondering. Hazel has sent me some photographs of Rihanna. Would you like to see them?"

There was a mad scramble for Lily's phone.


	88. Chapter 88

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I agree - I don't think Cal will ever stop winding his brother up! But perhaps he'll learn there's a time and a place and work usually isn't the place. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm glad you like Cal teasing Ethan, though I can't blame you for feeling sorry for poor Ethan. Anyone would think Cal had never had a girl in his bed... which is definitely not the case! Honey is going to be disappointed, but Ethan will be the best person to make her feel better. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. Honey really wants everyone to be as happy as her and Ethan (which I'm sure a lot of single people are!) and she probably thinks if she can get Dylan and Lily together, she can do anything! I doubt sex at work is as common as some people think, but I bet you had cupboards at work!

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review - I'm really glad you're still enjoying this and also glad I had some more ideas! I'm glad you liked all the 'sex at work' stories.

 _Thank you to **michelle fanfic** for the favourite._

* * *

The evening was a success. The more it progressed, the more Lily talked. Honey even heard her laugh once or twice. Honey had reduced all of them to laughter with her account of Ethan thinking about doors when she was trying to seduce him. They only broke things up at 9.30 because Robyn said apologetically that she was getting tired: "And I kind of want to sleep as much as i can now because I won't after the baby arrives!"

"Thank you for coming," said Lily formally. "I enjoyed sharing my evening with you."

Zoe hugged her. "Thanks for inviting me, Lily. It was fun. But if you and Dylan ever do change your mind about having sex at work…"

"Then I promise to announce it to the entire ED staff," said Lily, who might have had just a little bit too much to drink.

Alicia hovered round Lily hopefully. "Can I have a hug? Or is it too soon?"

Lily hesitated, then put her arms awkwardly around her mentee.

Alicia hugged her back enthusiastically. "Thanks for inviting me, Lily. I had a brilliant time."

"Alicia. I was wondering," said Lily. "Would you like to be my bridesmaid? It will be you, Honey, Robyn, Dervla and Rihanna."

Alicia screamed and hugged Lily again. "Oh, Lily, I'd love to!"

* * *

"That was nice of you to ask Alicia to be your bridesmaid," said Honey, when she and Lily were alone.

"I did it for Dylan," admitted Lily.

Honey was confused – and more than a little bit worried. "Dylan wants Alicia to be your bridesmaid?"

"Not specifically Alicia," said Lily. "But when we decided Rihanna should be a bridesmaid, Dylan realised that would mean we had four bridesmaids. He said that was unlucky and told me to ask someone else. So I did. I wasn't expecting her to be so excited, but… I liked it. Even if she did give me referred otalgia."

Honey stared at her. " _Alicia_ gave you an STD? How did that work?"

Lily looked like she was trying not to smile. "Referred otalgia is not an STD. It is a form of earache."

"Oh," said Honey. "Well, I'm sorry your ear hurts, Lily, but I think I'm quite relieved it's that, to be honest."

* * *

Ethan was waiting for Honey at his flat. "How was your evening?"

"It was brilliant!" said Honey. "Ethan, we have _so_ got to have sex at work."

Ethan gasped. "We've got to _what_?"

"Everyone's done it!" said Honey. "Except Alicia and I bet she will after I fix her up with Jez. Well, Lily and Dylan haven't, but they really don't want to."

"Perhaps I really don't want to," said Ethan.

"Oh, why not?" said Honey. "It's really fun when there's a chance you might get caught. Or we could just feel each other up a bit like Cal and Robyn."

"I very much doubt that's all they did, knowing my brother," said Ethan. He paused. "Though Robyn is a tremendously good influence…"

Honey hugged him. "And if we do it, I'll be able to tell all my friends."

"I'm not really finding your arguments all that persuasive," said Ethan.

Honey looked at him in shock. "We're not arguing, are we?"

"No. No, of course not," said Ethan.

"Oh, good." Honey kissed him on the cheek. "Louise told me this amazing story about her and Lofty nearly getting caught."

Ethan spoke hesitantly. "Are you sure it was Louise and Lofty?"

"She said he was her mystery man, but who else would it be?" said Honey. She started to kiss his neck. "Come on, Ethan. I don't know about you, but all this sex talk is getting me pretty excited…"

* * *

Honey had arranged to spend the following evening with Noel. She felt as though she'd neglected him lately. Spending time with Ethan was obviously important, but she and Ethan would be together for the rest of their lives.

Honey finished work, sneaked into Resus to kiss Ethan (which she regretted slightly when she saw the look on Connie's face), and told him she'd talk to him later.

Ethan smiled. "I'll look forward to it, darling."

Honey kissed him again and let him get on with saving lives. She drove home with a smile on her face. Ethan was such a special man. She was so lucky to have found him. She was lucky he'd even looked at her twice.

Once she reached the flat, she unlocked the door and went inside. The flat appeared silent. She checked the living room and found it empty. Then she knocked on Noel's bedroom door and poked her head around it without waiting for an invitation.

Noel was asleep, a smile on his face. But he wasn't alone.

* * *

Ethan usually switched his phone off when he was in Resus, but he must have been distracted in some way. He smiled as he remembered a possible cause of the distraction. Honey was such a special girl. He was so glad he'd found her. He was so lucky she'd looked at him twice.

When he got a phone call from Honey, he hesitated. Honey knew he was in Resus. He didn't think she'd call unless something was wrong.

He glanced at Connie. "Do you mind if I…"

She glowered at him. "You go right ahead, Dr Hardy. It's not as though we're trying to save lives, is it?"

As Ethan's patient had just gone up to surgery, now stable thanks to Ethan's intervention, he felt the comment was slightly unfair – but he kept that thought to himself and left Resus to answer the call. "Hey, sweetheart. Are you okay?"

"Ethan!" To his concern, Honey was crying. "I'm at your flat. Please come home! I need you."

"Honey, I'm working," said Ethan gently. "My shift doesn't finish for another hour."

"But I can't get into your flat!" Honey sobbed even harder.

Ethan glanced towards the doors of Resus. "Okay, darling. I'm coming. I'll have to come back after I've let you in, but I'm on my way. I love you."

* * *

Honey was sitting in her car in Ethan's parking space at the flat in floods of tears. Ethan parked in Cal's space and got out of the car. He knocked on Honey's window. She opened the door, got out, and threw herself into Ethan's arms.

"What's happened, darling?" said Ethan anxiously.

Honey cried noisily into his chest. "Louise is cheating on Lofty! With my dad!"

"I'm not sure…" Ethan stopped and hugged her closer. "Come on sweetheart. Let's go inside." He realised he would have to abandon his plans to return immediately to the ED and just hope Connie didn't kill him. There was no way he could leave Honey now.

Once they were in the flat, Ethan sat on the sofa with Honey in his arms.

Honey cried hard into his shirt. "Why, Ethan?"

"Why does anyone fall in love?" said Ethan sadly. He wished Honey could be happy for her dad and her friend, but he could understand. It was a shock. Honey saw Louise as being part of her generation – and Ethan was sure she was much closer to Honey's age than to Noel's.

"I wanted her to be with Lofty!" wailed Honey.

"I know, darling," said Ethan. "I'm so sorry."

"How could be do that to me?"

Ethan stroked her hair. "I'm sure he didn't do it to hurt you. He did it because he loves Louise and he wants to be happy."

"But it's gross!" cried Honey.

Ethan kissed the top of her head. "I can understand why you think that."

Honey let go of him. "Don't you think it's gross?"

"It's certainly a surprise," admitted Ethan. He'd thought Noel and Louise were a couple when he'd first met them, but on discovering they were just friends, he'd expected them to remain just friends.

Honey rubbed the back of her hand under her nose. "Well, he needn't think I'm ever going to speak to him again because I'm not!"

"That's okay," said Ethan soothingly, and gave her a tissue. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do." He felt devastated for Noel, but he knew it wouldn't help Honey to say so now. She wasn't ready for a conversation like that.

He only hoped she'd come to accept it eventually.

"And he needn't think he's giving me away!" said Honey. "I'm going to ask Dylan!"

Ethan rubbed her back and felt even sadder. "It's your choice who gives you away, Honey."

Honey sniffled. "I'm going to phone him right now!"

Ethan caught her hand. "Don't phone now, darling. You're too upset to talk. There's no hurry. You can phone later."

"Oh, Ethan." Honey sobbed even harder. "I just want everything to be perfect!"

Ethan held her close to him. "I know, darling. I know."

* * *

Noel tried to phone her several times throughout the evening, but Honey rejected all the calls before switching her phone off and refused to let Ethan speak to him either. She was still crying three hours later.

When Ethan had gone to make another cup of tea, Honey picked up her phone and called Dylan.

"Honey," said Dylan. "Hello."

Honey sniffled. "Dylan, I need you to do something for me."

"Of course," said Dylan. "Would you like to talk to Lily? She's here with me."

"Maybe in a minute." Honey felt more tears falling. "I was wondering if you'd give me away at my wedding."

There was a silence. "Don't you think it would be more appropriate for Noel to do that?"

"Noel isn't my dad anymore!" wept Honey. "He betrayed me and Lofty and I'm never going to forgive him! Never!"

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to talk to Lily?"

"Just answer me, please!"

"I think it's far too early to think about that," said Dylan. "I think you need to speak to Noel. Theoretically, I have no objection."

Honey sobbed with relief. "Thank you!"

"And now I think you should talk to Lily," said Dylan firmly.

Lily took the phone from Dylan. "Honey, what has happened?"

Honey told her the whole story.

"I am sorry," said Lily. "I heard they were together, but you said they weren't, so I was sure it wasn't true. Would you like me to come over?"

Honey sniffed and looked up as Ethan came back into the room with two cups of tea. He looked so sweet and concerned and loving. Honey knew in that moment that although she might have lost her dad and one of her best friends, she would never be alone. "I'll be okay with Ethan. But thank you, Lily."

"I am always here if you need me."

They said goodbye and Honey felt Ethan's arms going around her, holding her close. "I love you, Honey. You do know that, don't you?"

"I know," whispered Honey. "I love you too."


	89. Chapter 89

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I think Zoe is a little bit obsessed with certain subjects, but Lily is learning how to deal with her now. I can imagine Dylan not being that keen on the idea of bridesmaids... until Lily suggested Dervla! The only problem is, I can imagine him making a fuss of Dervla and ignoring the bride!

 **InfinityAndOne** , I think insecurity played a part in Lily's problems with Alicia, but I thought she'd be more secure if she had people in her life who liked and valued her. She was so lonely. I'm not sure what's worse for Honey... her dad sleeping with her mate or her dad having a sex life at all! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I did want one of Honey's relationship predictions to go wrong! I think Louise and Lofty could be a couple, but it would need to be their own story so you could see how they connect. Noel and Louise have obviously been friends for years and we've already got Dylan and Lily as the 'surprise' couple, though they do have a lot in common.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , it would be a shame if Honey and Noel lost their father-daughter relationship. I don't miss Honey that much in the show after the way she treated Ethan, but she brought out a new side to Noel and I do miss that. Honey does get caught up in things! Thank you for your review.

 **westlife4ever80** , I liked Honey too until she broke Ethan's heart. She could be silly and tactless, which meant she came out with some great lines, but she also seemed to have a very warm heart. I've been expecting Louise and Noel to get together for ages... they' really do care about each other. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan hugged Honey tightly. The last thing he wanted to do was to go to work, but he was already in trouble for leaving without permission yesterday and he had a meeting with Connie before his shift started.

"Phone me if you need me, okay?" said Ethan.

"Okay," said Honey. She seemed tired and listless.

Ethan kissed her again. He wanted to speak to her about Noel, but he didn't want to risk upsetting her before he left. So he just hugged her again and followed Cal out of the flat.

"How is she?" said Cal.

Ethan gave a sad sigh. "Not good."

"So, what exactly is the problem?"

"I don't know if I should really tell you," said Ethan unhappily. "I'd like to, but it's Honey's problem, not mine."

Cal put his arm around Ethan's shoulders. "Ethan, if you tell me, you can trust me not to tell anyone. Except possibly Robyn - I often find myself telling her things I'd decided not to tell her - but you can trust her too."

Ethan hated himself for it, but he couldn't help giving Cal an incredulous look. "I can trust Robyn not to gossip?"

An unwilling smile came to Cal's face. "I'd like to be angry with you for saying that about my fiancée, but I can see where you're coming from. But I'm pretty sure Robyn hasn't told anyone any of the things I've told her."

"She probably hasn't told Honey," said Ethan. "Honey would definitely have told me – and she hasn't told me anything about you lately."

Cal laughed. "Okay, maybe none of us are that great at keeping secrets. But seriously, Ethan. If you need to talk, you can talk to me. I'll even promise not to tease you if you like."

Ethan gave him a grateful smile. "Honey found out that Noel and Louise are a couple. She feels a bit… funny about the idea of her dad dating her friend."

Cal stared at him in amazement. "You mean she didn't know? I thought everyone knew about those two."

"I think with Honey, there might have been a bit of denial," said Ethan. "She really wanted to fix Louise up with Lofty, which I personally can't imagine, so she's disappointed. As well as slightly disturbed."

"How did she found out?" asked Cal.

"She saw them, um, in bed together," said Ethan. "She's upset and I don't know what to do."

"What do you think?" said Cal. "Has she got a point? There is a bit of an age gap."

"I…" Ethan wasn't too sure what he thought. "I can understand why it feels a bit weird. I think I would have felt a bit uncomfortable if Dad had gone out with Louise. Though that's not just because of the age gap. But Noel and Louise… they get on so well and they're both adults and if they want to be together, I don't see what Honey can do apart from accept it."

"Or not accept it and make herself miserable," said Cal.

Ethan nodded sadly.

Cal stopped walking and turned Ethan to face him. "I know it's difficult, but it's been less than a day. Maybe Honey just needs some time."

"Maybe," said Ethan. "So what should I do? At the moment I'm just listening and sympathising."

"Just keep doing that," said Cal. "She really needs to feel you're on her side and she's not going to feel like that if you keep going on about what she ought to be doing and thinking and feeling."

"But if I want to change her mind…"

"She's more likely to change her mind if she feels safe with you," said Cal. "If you put pressure on her, she's going to cling on to her anger and betrayal even harder because she's not going to feel like she can cling to you. But if she feels safe with you, she's going to calm down and then she's more likely to think about this rationally."

Ethan felt simultaneous gratitude and guilt. "Thanks, Cal. That's really helpful. I'm... I'm sorry if I haven't always done that for you."

Cal smiled easily. "Did I say one thing about me?"

"No, but you sound like you're speaking from experience," said Ethan. "And I know there have been times when you've tried to talk to me and I haven't even let you finish before I've started criticising you."

Cal shrugged. "Hey, there's a lot to criticise."

"But not nearly as much as I thought, said Ethan.

Cal smiled. "Well, I'm not going to open myself to more criticism by arguing with you…"

* * *

Ethan's worries hadn't gone away by the time he arrived at work. He loved Honey and as long as she was unhappy, he would always worry. But he was feeling a bit more relaxed. Cal's advice had been good and Ethan thought it was worth trying. He would check on Honey regularly and support her, but he would not attempt to change her mind.

Of course, he wouldn't go far as to agree with her that Louise and Noel's relationship was 'gross' and 'just wrong', though he couldn't deny there was probably a bit of an age gap, but if two people loved each other, nothing else mattered. Ethan would rather have five years with Honey than fifty years with anyone else.

So much rather.

His new positive mood disappeared as he approached reception and heard Noel calling his name.

Ethan was flooded with guilt as he thought how worried Noel must be. To Ethan's knowledge, Honey hadn't told Noel where she was going and had rejected all his calls. While Noel probably would have made the assumption she was with Ethan, he would also know that something was wrong.

"Hello," Ethan said awkwardly and hated himself for even thinking of telling Noel he was extremely busy and really needed to go.

He did have his meeting with Connie, but that didn't start for fifteen minutes. Although Ethan knew it was better to arrive early than on time where Connie was concerned, he could spare ten minutes to reassure an anxious father.

"Hey," said Noel with an unconvincing smile. "You don't have to answer this and maybe you don't want to, but have I done anything to upset Honey?"

"You haven't done anything wrong," said Ethan.

"Maybe not, but we both know that's not always the same thing," said Noel.

Ethan couldn't deny it.

"Okay, maybe you don't feel like you can tell me what's wrong," said Noel. "That's okay. You're engaged. Your loyalty is to her, not me. But just… please… can you just tell me she's okay?"

Ethan didn't know what to do. Honey was his fiancée, but Noel was almost his father-in-law. "Honey's okay."

Noel didn't look reassured. "Really?"

"No," said Ethan quietly, lowering her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be saying this. But Honey saw you with Louise yesterday and… it was a shock."

Noel squeezed his eyes shut. "I did wonder. I know I should have told her before. I just didn't know how she'd react. No-one wants their dad going out with one of their mates."

"I hope that, in time…" said Ethan.

"I hope so too, Ethan," said Noel. "You don't know how much I hope so. I've always cared about Louise, but I never did anything about it. When she went back to nursing, I thought that was it. But she still wanted to be friends. Instead of chatting all day on reception, we had to do it after work. In the pub. The restraints that are there when you're working in the public eye… they weren't there anymore. I don't know how it happened. I don't remember making any decision, though perhaps Louise did." Noel smiled. "She always was more decisive than me."

Ethan really couldn't argue with that.

"And then we ended up talking about our feelings and we didn't want to waste any more time," said Noel.

Ethan wasn't sure what to say. "I'm happy for you, Noel," he said at last. It wasn't a lie, but his happiness for a friend was tinged with sadness for Honey.

"Thanks," said Noel. "I do believe you mean that – but of course you have to consider Honey. And so do I. I love Louise, but Honey is my daughter. I've already missed on the chance to see her grow up. I don't want to lose her. And if Louise and I go back to just being friends… well, at least both girls will still be in my life. But how can I tell Louise that?"

"Well, if that's what you want…" said Ethan, feeling hopelessly underqualified to talk about this as well as completely awkward.

Noel brought his fist down on his desk. "Of course it's not what I want!"

"Honey might change her mind," said Ethan. "As I said, she's had a shock. She's having trouble thinking of her friend as a potential stepmother… if I'm not reading too much into things."

"Oh, no. I do want Louise to be Honey's stepmother," said Noel. He managed to smile. "Of course, I'm not completely sure I'd ever dare ask her."

"It's early days with Honey," said Ethan. "She might change her mind. We just need to give her a bit of time to get used to the idea."

Noel looked at him hopefully. "Will you talk to her?"

Ethan hesitated. Talking to Honey on Noel's behalf didn't really fit in with his idea of not putting pressure on Honey. "I'll see what I can do."


	90. Chapter 90

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Unfortunately, you could be right about Honey not forgiving Noel - she really does feel betrayed. I think she also enjoys talking about other people's boyfriends, but she's not going to want Louise telling her what Noel's like in bed!

 **Tanith Panic** , I think it probably is difficult when a parent meets someone new. Honey has grown up without Noel and Grace has spent a lot of time with her dad so there might be a lot of insecurity there - though Grace really seemed to like her dad's girlfriend. Honey is a lot older than Grace though! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm glad you liked Cal's advice to Ethan. I've been in similar situations and it's so much easier to think things through when no-one is putting pressure on me to change my mind. They might be right, but I'd rather realise that for myself, not be forced into it. It is going to be difficult for Ethan! Thank you for your review.

 **Is-there-somwhere-x** , thank you for your review. The situation is very awkward for Ethan - he knows his loyalty is to Honey, but he's going to feel like he ought to do something now he's seen how worried Noel is.

 **westlife4ever80** , that's a really good point - as Honey knows Louise, she knows Noel is safe with her and that he'll be treated properly (if sometimes bossily). I thought Noel liked Louise last year when the ED was evacuated. Noel wasn't working, but he heard about it and went straight to work to find Louise. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan did what he could, but Honey refused to speak to Noel. She seemed irritable and depressed and she was always moaning about how cold it was, though she didn't seem to have any interest in dressing more warmly.

Ethan tried to warm her up by giving her hugs, but it didn't seem to help. She just got annoyed and complained she couldn't do anything with him hanging over her. Eventually, she told him to leave her alone and Ethan didn't know what else to do. After a week, she stopped going to work and lay in Ethan's bed all day. It broke Ethan's heart.

"Please, darling. Tell me what's wrong," he said, more than once. "I love you. I know I probably won't be able to help, but I'd like to try."

"Then tell my dad to break up with Louise!" said Honey.

But Ethan couldn't do that.

One morning, it all got too much. Ethan had got up as quietly as he could, but he'd still managed to wake Honey. He'd apologised and done his best to be quiet, but she said he was still too noisy. Once he was ready, Ethan sat on the bed and apologised again, taking her hands in his, but she snatched them away.

"Oh, just go away, Ethan!" she snapped.

Ethan was too shocked to say anything at first. He somehow rallied. "Okay. I have to go to work now, but maybe we can talk later?"

"Oh, just go away and let me sleep?" said Honey crossly. "And maybe next time you could sleep with Cal so you don't wake me up?"

"Honey, this is my room!" said Ethan. "My bed. If you don't like it, maybe you should go back to your dad's. It really is about time you sorted things out with him."

Honey grabbed Ethan's pillow and threw it at him. "Well, it's a good thing you found out before we got married, isn't it?" She pulled the ring off her finger. "Here. Take this."

"What?" Ethan stared at it in disbelief.

"Just get out, Ethan!" shouted Honey.

Ethan turned to leave and almost walked into Cal.

"Ethan, what's going on?" he asked, clearly concerned.

Ethan held out the ring.

Cal stared at it in shock, then put his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "She'll come round, Ethan. Do you want me to talk to her?"

"'She' has a name, you know!" yelled Honey.

Ethan shook his head in response to Cal's question.

Cal put his arm around him and took him into the living room. "What happened, Ethan?"

"I don't know," said Ethan. There were tears in his eyes. "I woke Honey up. She was annoyed. We both said things we shouldn't have and then she gave me the ring back." He wiped his hands across his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Ethan, what are you sorry for?" said Cal. "Your fiancée broke up with you and you haven't even done anything! Of course you're going to be upset."

"I love her," said Ethan, as he struggled not to cry.

Cal hugged him. "I know, Nibbles. I know. And she loves you."

Ethan felt a tear escaping. "Maybe not now."

"I'm sure she does," said Cal. "She's just… upset."

Ethan swallowed. "I should have been more understanding. Finding out about Noel and Louise was a big shock for her."

Cal rubbed his shoulder. "Do you want me to ask Robyn to have a word with her? Robyn's really sweet and sensitive. I'm sure she'd never upset anyone and she always explains things really well to me when I go off on one."

"Thanks, but I think I really need to sort this out myself," said Ethan. He looked down at the ring, more tears filling his eyes. "I just hope I can."

"I'm sure you can," said Cal.

* * *

When the door finally closed behind Cal and Ethan, Honey closed her eyes in relief. Finally. They'd gone.

She waited five minutes just in case Cal had forgotten something (Ethan never forgot things), then she phoned Lily. "Lily, you are off today, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," said Lily. "Is everything all right?"

"Not really," said Honey. "Can I come over, please?"

"Of course you can," said Lily. "Would you like me to pick you up?" Lily had passed her driving test at the first attempt and although Honey privately considered her car to be a bit boring, it was a lot more reliable than Honey's car.

"Yeah, that would be good," said Honey listlessly. She made the effort to sound more grateful. "Thanks, Lily."

Lily arrived ten minutes later. She looked shocked when she saw Honey. "Honey, what's wrong? You really don't look well."

"I'm not well," said Honey. "I feel awful."

Lily looked at her closely. "Honey, have you been taking your medication?"

"Lily… Oh God, I don't know what to do!"

She began to cry and Lily at once gave her a hug. "We will go back to my flat. Then you can cry for as long as you need to and then you can tell me what's happened."

Honey nodded and they went outside. Honey spent most of the journey in tears, with Lily trying to comfort her. She was much better at it than she used to be, but only the words 'It's over between Noel and Louise' could have consoled Honey now.

They arrived at Lily's flat to find it in chaos. There was wedding paraphernalia everywhere. Lily's dress lay on the table. On the floor were numerous papers including the seating plan for the reception and various versions of the speech Lily planned to give. Dylan had refused to do a groom's speech and Lily saw no reason why there shouldn't be a bride's speech instead. Honey approved and she and Ethan had already agreed she would give the speech at their wedding.

If they were still getting married...

Honey sat down and immediately started crying again. "Oh, Lily, I've done something so terrible!"

"It is not so terrible that you can't tell me," said Lily.

Honey wished she could be sure about that. "Lily, I… I think… no, I more than think. I _know_."

"If you think Ethan is cheating on you, you are wrong," said Lily.

"No, of course I don't think that!" said Honey. "I know Ethan wouldn't do that. It's nothing like that, Lily."

"What is it then?" asked Lily gently.

"I… I… I'm pregnant!"

Lily gasped and gave Honey a hug. "Honey, are you sure?"

"I haven't done a test," sobbed Honey. "But I am. I know I am. But how can I tell Ethan?"

Lily looked worried. "It will be difficult telling Ethan, but he wouldn't blame you for it. That would be unreasonable. He played a part in making this baby too."

"But it was my fault!" said Honey. "I forgot one of my pills last month and I didn't realise until after we'd slept together. I hope it wouldn't matter as it's just once, but now I'm pregnant!"

"That is worrying, but missing one won't guarantee pregnancy," said Lily. "Do you have any other signs?"

Honey nodded miserably. "My period's three weeks late and I've put on weight."

"Three weeks?" said Lily. "Are you sure?"

"Completely sure," said Honey. "I can count up to three, you know. Or maybe it's two weeks."

Lily patted Honey's hand. "Okay, I think the best thing is for me to give you a pregnancy test. A proper blood test, not one of those home-test kits. It might be a false alarm. Radio iodine therapy can upset the rhythm to your body and cause changes."

"But that was months ago!" said Honey.

Lily nodded. She looked slightly uncertain. "It can take a couple of months for things to settle. Or perhaps stress has caused the delay. Mine was late too and pregnancy certainly wasn't an option for me."

"I can't believe you're a virgin!" said Honey. "You're so gorgeous."

Lily looked embarrassed. "I'm not actually a… but thank you for the compliment."

Honey's eyes widened. "Oh my God! Who was it? Anyone I know?"

"We're not talking about me," said Lily. "We need to give you a pregnancy test."

Honey gasped. "Do you mean it was _Ethan_? You slept with my boyfriend?" She stood up. "I'm leaving!"

"Honey, it wasn't-"

"I said I'm leaving!" said Honey. "I can't believe you'd actually…"

Lily got to her feet. "Honey, please listen to me."

"I've heard more than I want to hear from you in a million years!" cried Honey, stomping out of the living room.

Lily chased after her. "It wasn't Ethan!"

Honey stopped. "Who was is then? Why else would you be so embarrassed to tell me?"

"Because it was Cal," said Lily.

If anything, Honey was even more shocked. "You slept with Cal? When? Does Robyn know?"

"I think the whole ED knows," said Lily in embarrassment. "It was a long time ago."

Honey gave her a hug. "Don't worry. You're much better off with Dylan. Did Cal cheat on you?"

"We were never really together," said Lily. "It was a… a one-night stand, though I hoped it would be more. He made a bet and caught me in a weak moment."

"He did what?!" gasped Honey. "I'm going to kill him!"

Lily gave a small smile. "It's all right. It was a long time ago. And perhaps I should be flattered as Cal wanted a second date, which was very unusual for Cal then. Besides, Ethan punched Cal, so he did receive a punishment."

Honey looked at Lily in amazement. "Ethan punched Cal for treating you badly?"

"Yes, he did," said Lily.

"Ethan must have liked you a lot then," said Honey, slightly paranoid.

"I think he would have done the same for anyone," said Lily. "But even if we had, there is nothing more than friendship between Ethan and me. He loves you – and I love Dylan."

"He won't love me when he finds out about the baby," said Honey.

"Let's find out if there is a baby before we start to worry," said Lily. "But I'm sure he will still love you. And he's more likely to think it's his fault than he is to blame you."


	91. Chapter 91

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. It's definitely possible that Honey is pregnant - however careful she and Ethan are being, accidents can happen. The ring was Ethan's mum's, so at least there's no chance of him selling it on ebay! I agree Ethan will love Honey whatever she does - unless she has an affair with Cal, maybe!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. It's nice to know you think the story has potential. I'm glad you think Ethan wasn't too unkind to Honey. She is very emotional, but that doesn't mean Ethan should give up his room. Ethan will hate making a bridegroom's speech too (if Honey takes him back), but Cal will love having everyone's attention!

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm really glad you're sympathetic towards Honey - she's doing the wrong things and she's upset Ethan, but she's not trying to hurt anyone. She's struggling so much and she doesn't want to put Ethan through the heartache of losing a baby. I'm glad you didn't see the pregnancy coming! Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to **Racheybop** for the follow._

* * *

"I don't want to go to the hospital!" said Honey. She was aware she sounded childish, but she couldn't bring herself to care too much.

"Then you can get it done at your GP," said Lily. "But it would probably take three weeks for you to get an appointment. That might be better in some ways as there is a reasonable chance the test won't work as it's probably a relatively recent conception, but you might prefer not to wait."

Three weeks sounded like an eternity to Honey. "Isn't there anywhere else we can go? I don't want to see my dad or Ethan. Or that... that gold digger Louise. Not that Noel had any money and Honey was fairly sure Louise knew that, but she couldn't think of another alternative for the opposite of a cradle snatcher.

Not that Noel was a cradle snatcher. Even now, when she was so angry with him, Honey couldn't think of him in that way. It was obviously all Louise's fault for bewitching him.

Bewitched... yes, that was what Louise was. A witch.

"Why don't you want to go to the hospital?" said Lily. "If it is because of your dad and Ethan, there is no need to worry. We won't be going to the ED and we won't actually need to go near the ED."

"Don't we?" said Honey, confused. "Then where are we going to get the test done?"

"Not in the ED," said Lily. "Pregnancy is not an emergency and the hospital has a perfectly adequate constipation and sexual health clinic. The pregnancy tests are free and I believe they are very accurate."

Honey was a little bit worried about being recognised, but Lily assured her that even if someone did see her, they would not know why she was there – or indeed, which of the two of them was the patient.

"I am sure no-one, not even Robyn or Louise, would mention it to anyone if they saw us visiting the clinic," said Lily. "They can gossip at times, but as qualified nurses, they understand about confidentiality."

"I don't want Louise to see me," said Honey worriedly.

"It's very unlikely," said Lily. "It is her day off."

"Unless she comes in to see my dad," said Honey, but then she had a worse thought. "Oh God! What if it's his day off too? They're probably going to be... ew!"

"Don't think about it," Lily advised her. "With parents, it is by far the best way."

Honey nodded and changed the subject. There was something else bothering her too. "Lily, I'm sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion about you and Ethan."

"Everyone jumps to the wrong conclusions sometimes," said Lily. "It doesn't matter at all."

Honey gave a small smile but wasn't completely reassured. "I'm so disappointed in myself. I thought now my butterfly was sorted, I wouldn't get all overemotional and stuff. But I'm just as bad as I was before. So it must be my personality."

"You have been through a lot recently," said Lily. "Losing your fiancé and arguing with a parent is always very difficult. And I believe personality can change. I..." She stopped, looking slightly shy. "I like to think I am more relaxed than I used to be."

"Loads more relaxed!" said Honey at once. "And so's Dylan, some of the time." She smiled at Lily, feeling much better. "And Cal's really different too."

"So I'm sure it is also possible for you to change," said Lily. She paused. "But I hope you won't change too much. Ethan loves you as you are - and so do I."

* * *

When they arrived at the hospital, they approached the clinic by a route that avoided the ED. Once they were inside, Lily gave Honey's name to the receptionist, who gave Honey a form to fill in. The waiting room didn't look all that busy, but Honey was surprised when she was called after only about fifteen minutes. She was taken into a room where she confirmed she wanted Lily to stay and explained she wanted a pregnancy test.

The nurse asked Honey for a sample, which she was able to provide immediately, and then Honey and Lily went back to Lily's flat. Honey had hoped that having the test done would make her feel better, but she knew that waiting for the results would be torture.

"Are you going to tell Ethan?" asked Lily.

"No way!" said Honey. She knew she'd have to tell him if she was pregnant, but if she wasn't, she didn't want Ethan to know she'd made a mistake with the pills. Especially not now, when he was angry with her.

Though really, it was probably for the best if Ethan was annoyed. If he didn't want to sleep with her, Honey wouldn't have to explain she'd missed one of her pills and that she was therefore at risk of pregnancy.

"I'm sure he would understand it's an easy mistake to make," said Lily.

Honey shook her head vehemently. "He wouldn't! He's so organised, he'd never make a mistake like that."

"How can you be sure?" said Lily. "I'm sure Ethan has never had to take a contraceptive pill – though male contraceptive pills are available."

Honey might have been interested if she hadn't felt so awful. She flopped down onto Lily's sofa, which was, fortunately, free of wedding stuff this time. "I'm so fat, Lily. I'm huge and I'm going to get even bigger!

"You're not fat," said Lily.

Honey nodded dolefully. "I must be! I've got aches in my legs from carrying my big, fat, lumpy body around with me. My arms ache too. And I'm so cold."

Lily looked at her thoughtfully. "Honey, have you been taking your medication?"

"Yeah, course I have!" said Honey.

"Okay. That's good," said Lily. "Well, we'll wait for the results from the clinic. It's possible the test will be inconclusive as we don't know when fertilisation would have taken place – but I believe the clinic uses a very sensitive test, so we are almost certain to get a positive result if you're pregnant. And you say it's impossible that fertilisation could have occurred less than a week ago."

Honey nodded. She sighed and lay down on the sofa, closing her eyes.

"Honey, are you all right?" asked Lily.

"I'm just tired," said Honey. "And my wrist hurts."

"Would you like me to have a look?" asked Lily.

Honey shook her head. Now she'd done what she needed to do by getting the pregnancy test done, she felt listless and tired again.

"Okay. You have a rest," said Lily. "It's been a very emotional time for you."

"Lily?" Honey said with her eyes closed. "Is it okay if I stay with you? Just for a few days?"

Lily hesitated before replying, but when she did, her voice was warm. "Of course you can stay, Honey, if you don't mind my wedding bits and pieces being everywhere. I'm sure you and Ethan can sort things out, but you can stay for as long as I have the flat."

Honey knew she wouldn't have the flat forever. After the wedding, Lily would be living on the boat with Dylan and Dervla, and sometimes Rihanna. Lily loved her future sister-in-law and was looking forward to giving her some nieces and nephews to play with.

Honey sighed again.

If only she could look forward to giving Cal and Robyn's baby a cousin.

* * *

Ethan opened the door and called hello to Honey, but he wasn't expecting a reply. Even if Honey was awake, she was probably ignoring him. He went straight to the bedroom, guessing Honey would be in there, but the bed was empty.

Ethan turned towards the bathroom, hoping she was in there, but the door was open. Ethan checked the bath and shower anywhere, but there was no Honey. There was no sign of her anywhere in the flat – and she hadn't left a note to say where she'd gone.

He got his phone out and called her, but Honey's phone was switched off. It was then Ethan allowed himself to feel the worry he'd been fighting to hold back.

Honey had left him.

She might only have gone temporarily. Her clothes were still there. But Ethan had a horrible feeling she wasn't coming back.

When Cal got home from work an hour or so after Ethan, he discovered his brother sitting in the living room with his head in his hands. "Ethan, what's wrong?"

"Honey's gone," said Ethan.

Cal gasped in shock, then sat beside his brother. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"She's gone," said Ethan, his voice shaking. "She's not here and she's not answering her phone. She's not gone back to Noel either. I asked him."

"Maybe she's gone shopping," said Cal. "Lily and Robyn weren't working today. Maybe they all went somewhere together."

A call to Robyn revealed that she hadn't seen or heard from Honey for days. After Cal had calmed his anxious fiancée, he tried Lily.

The fact Lily didn't answer her phone was, in Cal's opinion, eloquent.

"Honey's with Lily," he said. "And she told Lily not to answer."

"But why would she do that?" said Ethan.

"Honey probably wants a bit of space," said Cal. He gave Ethan a hug. "Listen. If you want me to try Lily again, I'm happy to. Or we can go over there and see Honey for ourselves. Whatever you want to do, I'll support you, okay?"

"I just want Honey back," said Ethan tearfully.

He felt Cal rubbing his back. "I know, Nibbles. I know."


	92. Chapter 92

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , he really does miss Honey! And he's so confused and shocked. You'll find out the result of Honey's pregnancy test in this chapter. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , oh dear - I didn't mean for Honey to be as bad as all that! I thought she was quite nice! But I am glad she's not unrealistically perfect. Mills & Boon heroines can be annoying, but Mills & Boon heroes are even worse! So annoyingly tough and overprotective. Not like Ethan, though he is protective. Thank you for your review.

 **InifnityAndOne** , thank you for your review. I think it can be worse when you don't know exactly what's happened - though that's not to say it's a good idea to ask why! If Honey is pregnant, Ethan definitely needs to know - unless she's being doing naughty things even I don't know about! I think Cal secretly likes being there for Ethan.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. Honey and Ethan really are all over the place! It's a good thing they have Cal and Lily looking out for them or they's really be in trouble!

* * *

Lily looked at Honey in concern. "Are you all right?"

Honey wasn't feeling all right in any sense, but she guessed Lily was referring to the way she was massaging her wrist. "It hurts. I don't know why."

"Are you experiencing any pain in the hand?" said Lily.

"My thumb a bit," said Honey. "And my hand is sort of tingling."

Lily took Honey's hand in hers. "There's no swelling, but the skin on your hands is a little bit dry. Can you flex your wrist for me? No, the other way. That's right. Does that make the tingling worse?"

"No, I don't think… yeah, it does!" Honey straightened her wrist hurriedly.

"Your GP will give you more tests to make sure, but it sounds like it might be carpal tunnel syndrome," said Lily.

"What does that mean?" said Honey in a panic.

"It means the medial nerve in the wrist is being squashed."

Honey really didn't like the sound of that. "How did I get that then?"

"50% of women suffer it during pregnancy," said Lily, "though usually not until the third trimester. It can also be a symptom of hypothyroidism. When did you last have your thyroid function tested?"

"I don't know," said Honey.

"It can take a year for thyroid levels to settle," said Lily. "It's possible the amount of thyroxine you are taking is no longer sufficient."

Honey looked away.

"Honey? Is there anything you're not telling me?" said Lily.

"No!" said Honey at once. "Nothing relevant. Only stuff like surprises for your hen night. It's really hard not blurting things out sometimes."

"Then I'll try not to ask too many questions," said Lily, though she definitely looked nervous. "Okay. I'll drive us to the ED now. You can wait in the staff room while I print you off a blood form. Then we can-"

Honey shook her head stubbornly. "I don't want to see Ethan or my dad."

Lily looked at her for a moment. "I really think you should talk to Ethan. He's very upset. I imagine Noel is too." Lily looked away. "I know the situation is different. But fathers… you never know how long they will be with you."

Honey stared at her. "I don't want to be rude, Lily, but this is different! My dad's not dying. And if he was, maybe I would go and see him. Just because you didn't bother to go and see your dad, that doesn't mean-"

She stopped, aghast at what she'd said, but Lily's eyes were already filling with tears. She got to her feet and went into her bedroom.

"Lily, wait!" said Honey, hurrying after her, but Lily's door was closed and locked. "Lily, I'm really sorry! I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry and I would never want to hurt you."

But Lily didn't answer.

* * *

Honey didn't know what to do. Lily still hadn't come out of her room.

 _I'm such a horrible person_ , thought Honey, as tears streamed down her face. _All I do is hurt people. I hurt my dad; I hurt Ethan; now I've hurt Lily… I deserve to be ill!_

She really did feel terrible. The pain was so bad, she couldn't sit down, but standing up, she felt as though she might collapse. She thought about telling Lily she didn't feel well, but that seemed so selfish. She'd really hurt Lily. She didn't want to force Lily to help her when there might be nothing wrong.

When the knock came at the door, she nearly ignored it. She didn't want to talk to anyone. When the person called: "Lily? It's Dylan," through the letterbox she felt even less inclination to answer. Dylan would have nothing nice to say to Honey.

But Dylan was the one person Lily might listen to. Honey had to let him in.

She opened the door. "Hey, Dylan."

"Honey. Are you all right?"

Honey burst into sobs. "No, I'm not! I'm so sorry, Dylan. I didn't mean it."

"Didn't mean what?" said Dylan.

"I didn't mean what I said about Lily not bothering to go and see her dad when he was ill," sniffled Honey. "I was upset and I don't feel well, but it was a horrible thing to say and I'm so sorry."

"Perhaps you ought to be saying this to Lily."

"I tried," said Honey. "She won't talk to me."

"That doesn't particularly surprise me, considering what you said," said Dylan, but he sounded quite gentle for Dylan. "Though she's not talking to me either." He looked at Honey, frowning slightly. "Are you unwell?"

"I'm fine," said Honey, slightly embarrassed. Dylan might be a doctor and everything, but he was still a man. Honey really didn't want to talk to him about pregnancy and periods. That would just be wrong! Even Ethan got embarrassed and he was... used to be... Honey's fiancé.

Dylan didn't look convinced. "You're in pain."

Honey turned away. "I thought Lily was the one you came to see. Not me."

"It really will be best if you tell someone what's wrong," said Dylan, but then he turned away, apparently unconcerned, and knocked on Lily's door. "Lily, it's Dylan. Let me in, please."

Honey didn't expect Lily to obey, but to her surprise, she opened the door and threw herself into Dylan's arms.

"Honey told me what she said to you and I know she didn't mean it," said Dylan. "It wasn't the kindest thing she could have said to you, but she's obviously in quite severe pain and that can cause people to say things they don't mean. I'm sure I've said much worse."

"I didn't know he would die so soon," sobbed Lily.

"Of course you didn't," said Dylan. "You weren't his doctor. And even if you were, we can't predict the future."

Lily looked up at him. "Dylan, if you have any feeling for Brian at all, please go and see him. You too, Honey. Go and see Noel. Don't wait till it's too late. You will spend the rest of your life regretting it, just like me. Don't let pride stand in your way. Or fear of not being good enough."

"I have no feelings for him," said Dylan.

"And I have no feelings for Noel," said Honey.

"Dylan, Honey, please listen-"

Honey felt the pain again and she screamed. Pain this bad could only mean one thing. "Dylan, Lily, you've got to help me! I'm losing the baby!"

* * *

Honey looked at Dylan in disbelief. "That's seriously what it is?"

She'd been quite impressed with Dylan at first. He'd persuaded Lily to drive them back to the ED – Honey lying on her side on the back seat because she couldn't sit down – and examined Honey himself, even though it was his lunchbreak.

Honey had asked to see a female doctor, but Dylan said if it was that serious, she couldn't afford to be choosy.

But he couldn't be that great a doctor if _this_ was the best he could do.

"I would not joke about a diagnosis," said Dylan.

"Consternation," said Honey bitterly. "I can't believe it."

"I imagine that might be what you're feeling, but the condition is consti _pation_ ," said Dylan.

Honey buried her head in her hands. "It does mean what I think it means though, doesn't it?"

"More than likely," said Dylan. "Although extremely unpleasant, it is not in itself a medical emergency. I'll prescribe some laxatives to help with the problem today, but it's more important to address the underlying problem."

"Yeah, I'm pregnant, aren't I?" said Honey. "And it's my fault for being stupid and my baby's going to die and I'm going to have killed it! What's that going to be like for Ethan?"

"Honey. The pregnancy test was negative," said Dylan. " I would recommend another to make sure in three weeks' time, but it seems unlikely."

"But I'm late!" said Honey. "And I've put on weight and Lily says I've got carpool tunnel syndrome."

"Menstruation irregularities, weight gain and carpal tunnel syndrome are all symptoms of hypothyroidism," said Dylan. "Lily told me to check your thyroid function and I'm very glad she did. It's rather low. Honey, what dosage of thyroxine are you on?"

"125 metrograms a day," said Honey.

"And have you been taking them regularly?"

Honey looked away.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me the truth."

"I left them at my dad's house," said Honey. "I keep meaning to go back and get them, but I can;t."

"That was very silly of you," said Dylan, very mildly. "If you can't go yourself, I suggest you ask Lily to get them for you."

Honey's eyes filled with tears. "Lily's never going to speak to me again!"

"I think she will," said Dylan. "She's very worried about you."

"She didn't want to treat me, though, did she?" said Honey.

"Yes, she did," said Dylan. "However, I refused to allow it, firstly because of her closeness to you and secondly because she's not working today. She'll be very relieved to hear the good news."

"Would you tell her now then?" said Honey. "I don't see why she'd worry about me after the way I treated her, but if she is worried about me, I'd like her to know there's no need."

"Whether there's no need to worry about you is highly debatable," said Dylan. "However, I will pass on your message. Then we need to have a chat about your diet."

* * *

Ethan had just sent a patient up for surgery when Zoe opened the doors. "Ethan, I need a word."

"Yes, of course," he said, walking over to her.

"Come with me." Zoe led him into the relatives' room. "Ethan." Her voice was gentle. "We just had a call from Iain about a patient he and Dixie are bringing in."

"Oh my goodness! Is it Honey?" Ethan was shaking. "Or Cal?"

"It's not Honey or Cal." Zoe touched his hand. "I'm very sorry, but it's Noel."

Ethan could barely speak. "What happened? How bad is it?"

Zoe stroked his arm. "He was set upon in the park. I don't know very much, I'm afraid. But I wanted to let you know because Honey is going to need your support."


	93. Chapter 93

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you like my inclusion of Noel's mugging. There would be a massive risk of complications if Honey conceived now, so it is for the best, even though it's sad. But first she needs to sort things out with Noel - if it's not too late.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm glad I didn't make Honey too horrible. Honey definitely isn't perfect, except possibly in Ethan's mind. Perfect human beings are quite boring (well, apart from Ethan). I'm glad you liked Dylan - maybe Lily has softened him up a bit! I think Honey's health could be the least of her worries now. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. Lily has been a very good friend to Honey - she must be so heartbroken to have her secret fears apparently confirmed, but she's still helping Honey. It would be mean of me to end the friendship for good! I think Honey needs Ethan's support, but she needs to forgive him first.

* * *

Ethan knew he'd give Honey all the support she asked for and more, but that didn't mean she'd want it. He took a shaky breath, gulped and almost whispered: "I don't think Honey and I are together anymore, but of course, I'll do anything I can. I still love her more than anything."

"You're not together?" Zoe looked shocked. "What happened? I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But you're such a lovely couple."

Ethan's eyes misted over. "I don't really know. We were talking, then we were arguing, then Honey gave me the ring back…"

"Oh, Ethan, I'm so sorry," said Zoe. "If you don't want to support Honey now, I do understand. It can be awkward with exes."

Ethan blinked hard. "Of course I want to be with her! I can be her friend if nothing else. If she wants me…" He took a moment to get his emotions a bit more under control. "Is Lily working today?"

"No, I don't think she is," said Zoe.

"Perhaps if we call her, she'd come in and support Honey," said Ethan. "So even if Honey doesn't want me, she'll still have someone."

"Yes, that's a good idea," said Zoe. She stroked Ethan's arm. "I really am sorry about Honey, Ethan. I really hope it's not over. But Honey does get overemotional sometimes. I'm sure you can work this out."

Ethan nodded, but he didn't really believe it. He'd always wondered what a girl as amazing as Honey wanted with someone like him. He could hardly blame Honey if she'd finally realised he wasn't anything special. "What happened? To Noel, I mean."

"I haven't got all the details, but it sounds like he went to the park with Big Mac," said Zoe.

Ethan got a sudden image in his head of Noel pushing Big Mac on the swings. He pushed the image away before it could make him smile. This wasn't a time for smiling.

"And some guy set on him," said Zoe. "I assume it was a mugging, though that hasn't been confirmed. I don't see why else anyone would attack him. I think Mac was in the loo, so the attacker must have thought Noel was on his own. Mac came out later and saw him off, but Noel was seriously hurt by then."

"Thank God for Mac then," said Ethan fervently. "But poor Honey. She's going to feel so terrible. She used to go to the park with Noel quite a lot when she felt well enough. Mac only used to go when Honey couldn't. It was father-daughter time. I hope she won't blame herself for not being there."

"I don't see why she would, but we'll be there to reassure her," said Zoe. "No disrespect whatsoever to Honey, but the guy might not have been put off by her presence, so it's probably as well she wasn't there."

Ethan shuddered at the thought that if she and Noel were still speaking, Honey might easily have been at the park today. In theory, anyone who felt physically threatened by Big Mac, who wasn't particularly underweight nor particularly young, might also feel wary of Honey, but Ethan doubted it.

Having already beaten Noel to a pulp, he might have turned his attention to Honey next. And then…

"Ethan?" Zoe caught his arms. "Ethan, look at me."

Ethan blinked and the horrific images in his mind faded away. "Sorry. I was just thinking about what might have happened if Honey had been there."

"We can't possibly know," said Zoe, "and it's not going to help you or Honey or Noel if you think about it."

"No. You're right," said Ethan, and tried to smile. It was trembly, but perhaps any other smile would have been inappropriate. "Would you like me to contact Lily? Should I break the news over the phone or simply request that she comes in?"

"I would say over the phone, then she can tell Honey and they can come to the hospital together," said Zoe, but then she looked worried. "Would Lily be the best person to break the news though? She's not always the most sensitive. No, on second thoughts, perhaps just ask Lily to bring Honey to the hospital, then I'll tell Honey. I'll be one of the doctors treating Noel, so it's probably right that she hears the news from me."

"You're right. I think that would be better," said Ethan. "I'm probably not the ideal person. Honey's not very pleased with me at the moment – or with Louise, for that matter… oh gosh. Louise."

Zoe nodded. "We haven't informed Louise either, though we'll certainly be keeping her out of Resus. I'm not sure how serious she and Noel are, but they've been friends for a long time – and she's one of us, of course."

"She'd want to support him, I'm sure," said Ethan. "I don't feel we can really not tell her. But Honey wouldn't like that. I'm not sure what to do."

"Well, _you_ don't need to do anything," said Zoe. "In this situation, you're a relative and not a doctor, so the decision is entirely out of your hands. But I'll tell you what I'm going to do so you can prepare Honey. It wouldn't normally be standard practice to inform a short-term girlfriend or even a friend, but as Louise is our colleague, she's going to find out and I'd rather break the news myself than let her find out any other way. But we'll tell Honey first. Honey is Noel's daughter and next-of-kin. She has the right to know first."

Ethan nodded; that probably was the best way. "I suppose we'll just have to tell Honey straight-out," he said. "I don't want to hurt her – I've hurt her enough by accident – but in a situation like this, honesty is very important. I don't want to lie to her or prolong the agony and I certainly don't want to give her false hopes of a happy ending."

"Isn't it a bit late for that?" said a voice from behind him.

Ethan spun round. "Honey? How long have you been there?"

"Long enough," said Honey. "But it's too late, Ethan."

Ethan was filled with horror. "You don't mean…" Did she mean Noel was dead? How could she know already?

"Dead in the water," said Honey. "Or as good as."

"The water?" echoed Ethan. "You mean the duck pond?"

Honey stared at him. "What do you mean, the duck pond? You're so weird, Ethan."

"Well, I'm fairly sure that's the only source of water in the park," said Ethan numbly, before realising he must sound very callous. "Honey, I'm sorry. I really am so sorry."

"Are you?" said Honey in a softer tone.

Ethan nodded, feeling tearful. "I've never been more sorry about anything. It's so sad. I'm here, Honey, and I love you."

Honey looked at him for a moment, her eyes filling with something like hope. "Oh, Ethan!" she said and flung her arms around him.

Her momentum nearly pushed Ethan over, but after a slight wobble, he regained his balance and hugged her tightly. "I'm here, darling. I'm here. I love you. And I'll do whatever I can to support you. I promise."

"I love you, Ethan," said Honey. "I'm sorry for being a bitch. Oops. That's a bit rude to Dervla, isn't it? I'm sorry for being a… a female cat. I didn't really mean it. Of course it's not over between us."

"You don't have to apologise," said Ethan softly. "Let's just think about your dad now, okay?"

Honey made a face. "I don't want to think about him! Or talk about him or see him or anything. He's dead in the water too. Though maybe our relationship's getting CPR."

Ethan gasped softly as he realised.

Honey didn't know about Noel. She hadn't been talking about him. She'd been talking about her relationship with Ethan. She'd thought Ethan was talking about breaking up with her, so she'd jumped in quickly to say it was too late because their relationship was already over.

She'd obviously come here for some other reason. She had no idea Noel really might die.

"You will take me back, won't you?" said Honey, a pleading expression in her eyes. "You didn't mean it about not having a happy ending?"

"As far as I'm concerned, I never let you go," said Ethan. "But Honey-"

Honey kissed him sweetly. "And I'll never let you again either. And I'm not going to lie to you either. Ethan, when I left my dad's flat, I left my meds behind. So I haven't been taking my thyroxine."

Ethan gasped. "Oh, Honey! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"I do now," said Honey. "I nearly died of consternation. Is that the right word? When you can't defamate. But Dylan gave me some depositories. And they worked too!"

Ethan looked at her in concern. "I'm sorry. Constipation can be awful, but I'm glad the suppository worked. And it shouldn't be so much of a problem once you're taking the thyroxine again."

"I asked Dylan for a new prescription, but he says I've got to ask my dad to give me the old ones back," said Honey, making a face. "But I saw Louise just now so at least they're not going to be together." She smiled at Ethan. "I don't suppose you'd take me to see him when you get your lunchbreak?"

Ethan closed his eyes.

"Ethan?" said Honey. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, Honey," said Ethan. He took her hands tightly in his. "Let's go and… talk."

Zoe spoke softly as though she didn't like to interrupt. "Ethan, would you like me to…"

Ethan had almost forgotten Zoe was there. "No. No, thank you. I can do this. But thank you for offering."

"Okay. If you're sure, that's fine," said Zoe. "Why don't you go to the relatives' room? You shouldn't be interrupted there."

"Yes. Thank you. We will." Ethan took Honey's hand. "Come with me, sweetheart."


	94. Chapter 94

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I've been watching early Series 28 where Zoe is clinical lead and she does such an amazing job - I love her professional side and she's so kind too, so I thought she'd be the best person to comfort and advise Ethan. I'm glad you liked the chapter.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you like Honey's malapropisms - I don't want them to become irritating or inappropriate (though of course, not everyone will like them), but they are a part of Honey. I love choosing her replacement words. I am convinced Big Mac and Noel go on the swings together all the time! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked Zoe in this chapter. I wasn't sure of the right way for Zoe to handle it, so it's good to know you feel she handled it well! It is going to be a shock for Honey, but I think it would have been much more difficult if she and Ethan weren't back together. Thank you for your review.

* * *

"Why are we going to the relatives' room?" said Honey, clearly confused. "I thought that was for when you tell people their relatives are dead."

Ethan winced. He didn't mind Honey's occasional insensitivity, but it was different when he knew her words would come back to haunt her.

"Can't we go to the staff room?" asked Honey.

"You're… not staff," said Ethan weakly.

"Yeah, I am!" said Honey. "I'm the barrister!"

"You're not _medical_ staff," amended Ethan. He pushed opened the door of the relatives' room and thought for the first time how unwelcoming and unfriendly it seemed. Ethan didn't think it had been redecorated since he'd come to work at the hospital and it looked badly in need of it.

Honey chose a chair and sat down. "What's up then? You don't want to do it in here, do you? I know I said I wanted to do it at work and I do, but it seems a bit insensitive to do it in here. Sorry, but if someone's relative has just died, they're not going to want to walk in here and see us going at it like rabbits on viagara, are they?"

Ethan blushed. "No, I… I really think you're right." He sat beside her and reached for her hands. "But I didn't mean that, Honey. That's not why I brought you here."

"Then why did you?" said Honey.

"Oh, my darling," said Ethan, his voice trembling. "I am so, so sorry."

"You haven't had second thoughts about taking me back, have you?" said Honey.

Ethan held her hands more tightly. "No, of course not. I'll never have second thoughts about that. But there is something I've got to tell you." He wished Zoe was here. He wished _Cal_ was here.

He wished Noel was here because then he wouldn't have to do this.

Honey looked frightened now. "Do you just want to be girlfriend and boyfriend instead of being engaged?"

"Of course I want to be engaged to you," said Ethan.

"Dylan's giving me away, by the way," said Honey. "My dad's dead to me now."

" _Honey!_ " It was all Ethan could do to keep his tears back. "I'm so sorry, darling."

"Yeah, you said that before," said Honey. "And you still haven't told me what's wrong." She took his hands. "But seriously, Ethan. As long as we're back together and we're still getting married, it doesn't matter what you've got to tell me. I know I'll be able to deal with it because I've got you. I love you, Ethan."

"I love you too, Honey." Ethan took a deep breath in and then released it. "I'm afraid I have bad news. It's… it's about your dad."

Honey's face seemed to freeze. Her eyes were wide and her jaw went slack.

"I'm so sorry," said Ethan helplessly.

"But they've only been together five minutes!" shouted Honey.

Ethan looked at her in confusion. "Um, I'm sorry?"

"How could they be getting married?" said Honey, tears pooling in her eyes. "Don't they even care how I feel?"

"Honey, your dad and Louise are not getting married," said Ethan. "It's nothing to do with their relationship. At least, I don't think so." Louise had had some terrifying-looking boyfriends in the past, but that didn't mean they were violent. "Look. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to tell you straight-out."

"That is what you told Zoe you'd do," said Honey. "But you haven't told me anything!"

Ethan dropped one of her hands and put his arm around her. "Honey. Your dad's been in an accident."

There was a silence. "What kind of accident?"

"He was attacked in the park," said Ethan. "He's on his way to the hospital now. I'm afraid I can't tell you more because we don't know very much, but I'm not going to leave you and I'm sure they'll give us any updates as soon as they can."

Honey said nothing. She stared at Ethan, her eyes wide but blank. Ethan tried to pull her closer to him, but she sat rigid in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, darling," said Ethan.

Honey gave no reaction.

"If there's anything I can do…"

Honey didn't move.

"I'm here for you, sweetheart," whispered Ethan.

Tears filled Honey's eyes and dripped silently down her cheeks.

"Zoe's going to treat him." Ethan wanted to cry too. "You know she's a wonderful doctor. She'll do everything she can for him."

Honey made no response, but she didn't object when Ethan pulled her into his arms. He held her as tightly as he could. He kept telling her he was here and he wasn't leaving, but he knew it wouldn't really help. Nothing but good news about Noel could make Honey happy.

There was a knock at the door and Lily looked in. "I heard the news. I am sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't know," said Ethan helplessly. "I don't think there's anything anyone can do."

Lily came into the room and sat beside Honey. "I am here for you, Honey. Please don't worry about what happened earlier. I know you didn't mean it and it's in the past. I am sorry about your dad."

Ethan let go of Honey briefly so he could squeeze Lily's arm. He had no idea what she was talking about, but it didn't matter, at least not for now. "Thanks, Lily." He kissed the top of Honey's head. "We're both here for you, darling. And we love you."

"Yes, we do," said Lily. "Dylan is very sorry too. He did not say so, but I know he is. He is going to do everything he can to help your dad. Oh, and…" She reached into her bag. "A week's worth of thyroxine and some suppositories. I encourage you to take the thyroxine as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Lily," said Ethan, taking the tablets from her.

Honey lifted her head from Ethan's shoulder and turned to face Lily, wiping the tears from her cheeks. She looked at Lily for a moment. Her mouth opened but no sound came out.

"You don't have to say anything," said Lily gently.

Honey gave her a hug. Lily hugged her tightly in return.

Ethan went to get Honey a glass of water, telling himself firmly that he wasn't going to cry.

Zoe arrived just after Honey had taken her thyroxine. "Honey, Dixie just called. Noel is almost here and he's conscious, so if you'd like a few words before we treat him, you can come with me now."

Ethan looked at Honey. "Would you like to? It's entirely up to you and I can be there if you want me to."

"And so can I," said Lily.

Honey nodded and got to her feet, still wiping away tears. In the doorway, she stopped and looked at Zoe.

"Thank you, Zoe," said Ethan, guessing this was what Honey wanted to say.

Zoe patted Honey's shoulder. "You're welcome. But… um… I'm afraid Louise is there too. She wants to see Noel, but she understands you're his next-of-kin."

Honey nodded and walked out into reception. The doors were standing open and Ethan could see a trolley being wheeled towards them.

Alicia was hugging a distraught-looking Louise, but as soon as she saw Honey, she whispered a few words in Louise's ear, let go of her and launched herself at Honey, throwing her arms around her. "Honey, I'm so, so sorry! I'm going to help treat your dad, but if there's anything I can do… anything at all."

Honey said nothing, but she hugged Alicia back.

"Thank you, Alicia," said Ethan. "Honey's still a bit shocked so she's not really up to speaking, but we know you'll do everything you can to help Noel and we really appreciate it."

"Oh, that's okay!" said Alicia. She stroked Honey's hair. "You don't have to say anything, babe. I will do everything I can. I promise."

Ethan glanced at Louise, who was standing a short distance away, clearly fighting tears. He wanted to offer her some comfort, but he wasn't sure what Honey would say. He gave her a small smile and hoped she'd understand, but Louise quite often didn't understand the things Ethan said and did.

To his relief, Louise gave him a small smile back.

Honey let go of Alicia and looked over at Louise. She tore her hand from Ethan's and walked towards her.

"Honey…" said Ethan in a panic as he hurried after her, but he was too late.

He watched as Honey raised her arms and wrapped them tightly around Louise.

"I'm sorry," sobbed Honey. "I'm so sorry."

Louise looked startled, but she hugged Honey back. "It's not your fault."

"No, I'm sorry I was so mean," wept Honey. "I want my dad to be happy and if you make him happy, then I'm happy too. We can support him together, can't we?"

"Of course we can, Honey," said Louise softly.

Ethan touched Honey's shoulder. "He's coming in now."

Honey grabbed Louise's hand and they rushed over to the trolley. "Dad? Dad, it's me. It's Honey," she sobbed. "I love you and so does Louise and you're going to be okay. Zoe, Dylan and Alicia are going to help you and you know how brilliant they are. And when you get out of hospital, me and Louise will look after you and we'll kill that guy who attacked you and everything will be okay."

Ethan watched as Noel turned his head just slightly towards Louise and Honey.

"I love you," whispered Noel. "Both of you."

"And we love you too and we're not going to fight anymore!" sobbed Honey. "Will we, Louise?"

"No fighting," agreed Louise, her hand still in Honey's.

"And if you want to marry Louise, that's totally fine!" sniffled Honey.

" _Honey!_ " gasped Louise.

Honey didn't seem to notice. "And I'll be your bridesmaid and I'll be so proud you've still got it at your age."

Noel was clearly in pain, but he smiled. "Sounds good to me."

Louise recovered herself with an effort. "Come on, Honey. We need to let your dad go and be treated. Bye, Noel. We love you."

They stood back to let the trolley past, then Ethan went over to them. "Come on. We'll go back to the relatives' room and wait."

"You can come too, Louise, if you want," said Honey.

"I've got to work," said Louise.

"You shouldn't be working now!" said Honey.

Rita spoke from behind them. "It's fine, Louise. You take whatever time you need."

Lily stepped forward and spoke hesitantly. "I will help, Rita. I know I am not a nurse and I will not perform your duties as well as you, but I will do my best until cover is arranged. I agree that Louise should not work now."

Rita looked startled, then grateful. "Thanks, Lily. And don't put yourself down, okay? I think you'll be a great nurse."


	95. Chapter 95

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , it is sad that it took something so horrible for Honey to accept Noel, but Honey is so stubborn and things often do get dramatic in Casualty! Thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked the ending! Honey can be difficult as she is unintentionally funny and I don't think that's going to stop just because the situation is really sad. But I don't want it to look like I'm making light of Noel's situation. I'm glad you feel I got it about right. Enjoy Chapter 95!

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like Rita and Lily's interaction. They both have such different approaches to medical care, but they're both very good at their jobs so I think they could complement each other well. I'm glad Honey and Louise are friends too - not least because Louise would be a scary enemy!

* * *

Honey looked up anxiously as Alicia entered the room. "Any news?"

"Noel's head and neck CT came back clear," said Alicia. "There's a bit of swelling but no fractures. The chest x-ray was fine too. Dr Keogh doesn't seem too worried."

"Dylan never does seem worried," said Honey fretfully. "It doesn't mean he's not."

Alicia sat beside Honey and gave her a hug. "Your dad's awake and talking. And you'll never guess what!"

"What?" said Honey, wondering if Noel had proposed to Louise yet.

"Big Mac saved Noel's life!" said Alicia excitedly. "He chased the mugger off. Isn't that amazing?"

Ethan smiled. "That's incredible! I must be close to being half his age, not to mention a lot, um, shorter, but I'm not sure I could have done that. He really is a hero."

Honey stared at them both in disbelief. "No way!"

"Yeah, I know!" said Alicia, who obviously didn't.

"No, I mean it couldn't have happened," said Honey. "Mac's a nice guy and everything, but he's a major coward. There's no way he'd have done that."

"Sometimes people do surprise you," said Ethan.

"Yeah, but not Big Mac," said Honey. "Not like that. Does my dad actually remember it?"

"Not a thing," said Alicia. She quickly added: "But that's okay. It's normal to forget what happened in situations like this. It doesn't mean there's anything seriously wrong."

Honey was starting to feel angry. "So how do we know it happened?"

"Dixie told us," said Alicia.

"Yeah, but Dixie wouldn't have seen it, would she?" said Honey. "Even if someone called for an ambulance as soon as my dad got attacked, she wouldn't have been there in time for the end."

"Well… I suppose Big Mac must have told her," said Alicia. "Or maybe Dixie guessed and he didn't deny it."

Honey grabbed Ethan's hand desperately. "Ethan, you know I'm right, don't you? You know Big Mac couldn't have done that?"

"Well… I can't see him taking the credit for something he didn't do," said Ethan. "He's not dishonest. I know you're upset, darling, but you need to calm down a little bit. Alicia, I know you probably need to get back to Noel, but if you could organise a cup of tea for-"

"He is dishonest!" said Honey. "He was broke when I was here before and I caught him stealing from the food bank. Look, I don't want to say things like that about my dad's best mate and he's not a bad sort of guy, but everyone seems to go on like he's wonderful and he's just not. He did not frighten some mugger off!"

Alicia looked away. "I'll get you a cup of tea, Honey." She walked to the door, then stopped. "Honey… I don't want to hurt you. Especially not now. But if Big Mac saved my dad's life, I would be so grateful to him. I wouldn't care what he'd done in the past. I'd only care about what he'd done now." She left the room.

Honey turned to Ethan, tears filling her eyes. "But I don't believe he did it, Ethan."

Ethan hugged her. "That's okay, Honey. And you do know Mac a lot better than Alicia. You've been living with him for six months and you knew him before then too. Alicia's been working with him – and probably not that closely – for maybe four months. If it's out of character for Mac, you would know."

"So you believe me then?" said Honey in relief.

Ethan hesitated. "I know you're more likely to know than Alicia, but I also know that sometimes people can completely surprise you. Cal surprised me last week. We had a black alert, which basically means we had a lot more patients than we could cope with. Cal was incredible. He worked really hard and even took on some of my patients when I was talking to a man who was contemplating suicide. He covered for me when Mrs Beauchamp was looking for me too. Cal didn't actually meet the patient I was helping, but he's up in the psych ward now and I honestly think that's because of Cal going the extra mile. Sometimes, when it really matters, people can come through for you in ways you wouldn't expect."

Honey looked at him and doubts started to creep in. If Ethan could get it wrong about Cal, whom he'd known his whole life, then Honey could definitely get it wrong with Big Mac.

"I'm not saying you're wrong," said Ethan gently. "I know sometimes when someone makes the assumption you've done something good, it's the hardest thing in the world to tell them they've got it wrong. I've been in that position myself and although I hope I would always be honest, I hate seeing their admiration change to disappointment – not so much for my sake but for theirs. So many people have said to me: 'I wish you hadn't told me that. I feel a hundred times worse now.' And I always feel so awful for ruining their last bit of happiness."

Honey had to admit Ethan had a point. Ethan was such a good man, he would always be honest, but Big Mac didn't have Ethan's strength.

"I'm just saying we should keep an open mind until we know anything more definite," said Ethan. "And for now, our focus has to be your dad."

Honey nodded, feeling guilty now. "I'm so awful, Ethan. Thinking of Mac when I should be thinking of my dad."

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean that," said Ethan. "You are thinking of your dad. You're worried he's being deceived."

"I love you," said Honey, cuddling closer to him.

Ethan kissed her. "I love you too, Honey. And I'm so proud of you."

"Me?" said Honey, startled. "I did even less than Big Mac!"

"But you pushed your feelings about Louise aside and accepted their relationship," said Ethan. "I'm sure that means everything to your dad."

* * *

When the door opened, Honey gasped and clutched at Ethan, but it was only Louise.

She looked guilty. "Sorry I didn't come and find you before. I wanted to be on my own."

"Oh, no, that's fine," said Ethan. "It's important that you should do whatever helps you the most. A lot of people would want some time on their own."

Honey smiled. "As long as you wanted to be on your own, that's fine. But if you ever want to be with us, just come and find us. You're family now. Isn't it amazing? You're going to be like, Zoe's auntie! Or something like that."

"Okay, let's sort this out," said Ethan. "Louise will be your stepmother, so she'll be my stepmother-in-law. I'm actually not sure what relationship you'd be to my brother or his wife though, so I really don't think there is a word for… okay, I'll need to take this slowly. Zoe will be Louise's husband's daughter's husband's brother's wife's half-brother's wife."

"Not that I'm actually like, married to Noel," said Louise quickly. "Or even engaged. But the good news is he can have visitors now. Honey, I think you should be the first."

Honey shook her head at once. "No, I think you should go in with me. He loves both of us. Please come with me, Louise?"

Louise's face lit with gratitude. "I would really love that, Honey."

"Then we're all sorted!" said Honey happily. She turned to Ethan and touched his hand. "Sorry, sweetheart. You can see him next."

"And… it's totally up to you, but maybe Mac should see him after us?" said Louise.

"I'm… I'm actually not too sure about that," said Honey apologetically.

Louise looked surprised. "Why not? He did save Noel's life, you know."

Honey hesitated. "I mean, I'm not sure Mac did save Dad's life. I know it's a bad thing to say and Ethan says sometimes people do come through for you when it really matters. But it just doesn't seem like him."

Louise looked thoughtful. "Okay, I think we should go and see Noel now, but maybe, after we've seen him, we could have a chat about this?"

* * *

Honey put her hand over her mouth, her eyes filling with tears.

"Don't cry, love!" said Noel. "I'm okay."

Louise put her arm around Honey. "I'm so glad you're okay, Noel."

"Me too," said Noel. "And if this is what it took for my two favourite girls to be friends, I'd gladly go through it all again. As long as Mac was around anyway."

Honey burst into tears.

Louise hugged her tightly. "It's going to be okay, Honey. We'll sort this."

Honey stayed in Louise's arms for a moment, then she pulled away, still slightly tearful. "Sorry, Dad. I'm okay." She leaned forward and kissed Noel's cheek lightly. "I'm so glad you're okay. So, so glad."

"So am I." Louise gently picked up Noel's hand in her own.

"I can't believe Mac did that for me," said Noel, clearly overcome with gratitude and pride. "I mean, he's a good mate, but I'd have expected him to run away. And I'd have wanted him to run away: keep himself safe. But instead… the guy's a hero. The police came to interview him and he didn't know what to say. I told him he should tell the truth and admit what he did, but he didn't want to draw attention to himself like that."

Honey didn't know what to do. She had a pretty good idea why Mac hadn't wanted to tell the police about driving the mugger away. It showed he had _some_ conscience, but he was still letting her dad believe something that wasn't true – and Honey knew she couldn't tell Noel. Not now, when he was so ill.

And what if she was wrong?

She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell Noel anything.

Noel looked at her, concerned. "Are you all right, love?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," said Honey, close to tears again. "I'm just so happy you're okay. It's horrible to think how close I came to… to…"

Louise gave her a hug. "I know, Honey."

Honey looked at Noel again. He was rubbing his hand across his throat. "Dad, are you okay?"

"My throat hurts a bit," said Noel.

"I'll get you a drink, yeah?" said Louise. She touched Honey's shoulder and moved away.

Noel started to gasp for breath.

"Oh my God!" Honey looked round in a panic. "Louise, he can't breathe!"


	96. Chapter 96

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I feel sorry for Noel too - it's a terrible thing to happen and at the time, he didn't know if Honey was ever going to speak to him again. Now he's got Honey back, but it turns out his best mate isn't such a good mate as he thought.

 **Tanith Panic** , it must be so awful for Honey - I doubt anyone but Ethan and Noel would put her on the same intellectual level as the doctors, but she can be very insightful. It's horrible when you need to tell someone something, but you know it's going to hurt and they'll probably wish you'd kept quiet. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Louise put her hand on Noel's shoulder and spoke to him, but he didn't reply. He half-sat up, still straining for breath. Louise looked quickly around the room. "Dr Keogh? Something's wrong. It sounds like stridor."

"What... what's that?" cried Honey. "Do something"

Dylan came across at once. "Honey, please leave. Can you open your mouth for me, Noel?"

"Go on, Honey," said Louise. "Go and find Ethan."

Ethan was standing on the other side of the doors. He enfolded Honey in his arms. "What's happened?"

"He couldn't breathe… he was just gasping!" sobbed Honey. "Louise said it was strider or something."

"That just means the gasping," said Ethan. "Has he got a doctor with him?"

"Yeah. Dylan."

"That's good. Dylan will discover the cause and treat it," said Ethan reassuringly. "It sounds absolutely terrifying, but I'm sure Noel will be okay."

"I don't want to lose him!" wailed Honey. "I hate myself, Ethan. Why couldn't I just be happy for him and Louise? Then maybe I'd have been in the park with him."

"Thank goodness you weren't!" said Ethan. "Then I might have had two of you to worry about!" He kissed her forehead. "Come on, darling. When Dylan has news, I'm sure he'll send Louise to find us."

"Louise is so amazing," said Honey. "She loves him - I know she does - but she can still do her job. If anyone's good enough for my dad, it's her."

Then two things happened almost at once. They heard Big Mac shouting something about someone going to prison for a very long time – and then Dylan, Louise and several other nurses appeared with Noel on a trolley.

"Where are you taking him?" cried Honey.

"We're taking him for a chest and pelvis CT," said Dylan. "Okay?"

Honey watched as the trolley went past. "I love you, Dad! I love you!"

Ethan put his arm around her. "Come on, Honey," he said quietly. "Come with me, okay, sweetheart?"

"I'll go with you." Louise was looking close to tears too. "If that's okay."

Ethan put his other arm around Louise. "Of course. We'll go to the relatives' room."

* * *

"Honey, what did you mean before?" asked Louise. "About Mac?"

They'd been sitting in the relatives' room for what felt like ages. Honey had cried a lot, Louise had cried a bit and Ethan had come pretty close himself.

"Let's not worry about that now," said Ethan. "There's no point in upsetting ourselves."

"No, I think it's important," said Louise. "Honey said she doesn't think Mac saved Noel – and I can see where she's coming from. It's just not him."

"Ethan did say sometimes people can surprise you and he's got a point," said Honey. "But there's obviously something up with Mac. He was shouting something when my dad was wheeled through. Something about murderers or something. Where would Big Mac know any murderers from?"

Louise was shaking her head. "No, it wasn't actually murderers. He didn't actually mention any crime, but he said someone was going to go to prison for a long time. Maybe he lost it with a patient because he's worried about Noel and he couldn't keep calm."

Ethan shook his head. "I don't think Big Mac's even on shift. Even if he was, no-one would expect him to work after what happened. His best mate's been attacked - and he slipped and hurt his back when he was taking the mugger away, so he's injured too."

Big Mac chasing a mugger away... it sounded more impossible every time Honey thought about it.

"I suppose, if there was a patient making trouble, and Big Mac was the only one around, he might say something?" said Louise. "He might not be working today, but it's still his workplace. If I wasn't working and some patient started misbehaving, you wouldn't catch me keeping quiet about it."

Ethan looked troubled. "I suppose that is feasible. Obviously, Big Mac has reason to be be upset. His tolerance levels will be lower. He could easily snap at a patient. But he put it so _strongly_. He didn't threaten to call security or even the police. He specifically mentioned prison. Does he have any friends who might be involved in anything illegal?"

"I don't think so," said Honey. "He hasn't brought anyone dodgy round to the flat."

"And Noel hasn't mentioned anyone to me," said Louise.

"So what do we do?" said Honey.

Ethan sighed. "I honestly think we should leave it. We have no evidence. Just two pieces of out-of-character behaviour, both exhibited at a time when Mac isn't going to be thinking clearly. It is odd, but there's just not enough to go on at the moment. If you find any more evidence, let me know and we can consider it again, but I think all we would achieve if we made any sort of accusation now is to upset everyone even more."

Honey opened her mouth to argue, but then she realised Ethan was right. All she had was a 'feeling' and you couldn't act on feelings. "Maybe you're right. But I'll be keeping an eye on Mr Big Mackenzie."

* * *

When the knock sounded on the relatives' room door, Honey instinctively moved closer to Ethan, grateful when he wrapped his arms more tightly around her and whispered that he was there.

When Zoe entered, Honey felt almost ready to scream with fear - but then she realised Zoe was smiling.

"Your dad's doing really well, Honey," she said. "He suffered a posterior clavicular dislocation, which was putting pressure on his mediastinum and-"

"Sorry, what?" said Honey. "I'm glad he's okay and that, but what's that about his bum?"

"His bum?" said Zoe, confused.

"You said 'posterior'," said Honey. "I thought that meant bum. That was kind of the only word I did understand, to be honest."

"I'm sorry, Honey," said Zoe. "You're so much a part of the ED crowd, I do actually forget you're not medically-trained. Your dad's collarbone had got pushed out of position and it was putting pressure on his lungs and making it difficult for him to breathe. But Dylan's put the collarbone back where it should be so it's not causing any more problems."

Honey almost cried with relief. "I'm so glad, Zoe. I really am. But where does his bum come into it?"

"It doesn't," said Zoe. "There are lots of different ways a bone can move when it goes out of position and 'posterior' basically just means it moved backwards."

Honey thought about this, then nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. Your bum's your backside. But he's okay?"

"His collarbone is okay now," said Zoe. "I won't lie to you: it is possible your dad might have further problems and we'll want to make sure the best people are available in case that happens, so he'll be staying in the intensive therapy unit for now and we're going to get the Ear, Nose and Throat team to review him. Once they've done that, we'll see about getting you up there to see him. In the meantime, why don't you all go to the staff room, get yourselves a cup of tea and we'll come and find you as soon as we have more news."

"Thank you, Zoe," whispered Honey through grateful tears. She kissed Ethan, then reached out a hand to Louise, who squeezed it tightly.

* * *

Honey didn't know if it was the lack of thyroxine or the shock or the fact she probably hadn't eaten for a while, but she didn't feel quite right. She didn't say anything at first, hoping she'd feel better once she was in the staff room, but then the room started to spin and she had to stop walking completely, holding tightly to Ethan.

"Honey, what's wrong?" said Ethan anxiously. "Are you feeling faint?"

"I feel a bit dizzy," said Honey.

Ethan put his arm around her. "It's not really surprising after everything that's happened. I'm so sorry, sweetheart: I really should have reminded you about your medication. You were thinking about your dad and I'm a doctor..."

"Ethan, it's not your fault!" said Honey.

Ethan hugged her. "I'm not so sure, but let's not worry about that now. Let's go and get some air. I've got you."

"I'll bring you a cup of tea, Honey," said Louise, touching her arm.

"And some water, please, so Honey can take her medication?" said Ethan.

"Sure," said Louise at once.

"Thank you, Louise," said Honey gratefully. "You've been amazing. My dad's a lucky man."

* * *

Ethan's arm was wrapped supportively around Honey as they made their way outside. He helped her to a bench and encouraged her to breathe deeply.

Then Honey noticed something. Or rather someone. Big Mac was standing a short distance away with a woman. She looked a bit rough to Honey, but she probably wasn't desperate enough to date Big Mac. She was probably young enough to be his daughter.

 _Maybe she_ is _his daughter,_ thought Honey, just as Big Mac raised his voice.

"Are you kidding me? You sell me that sob story and then you come out here to go on the rob? That's sick!"

Honey looked at him in amazement. Maybe Big Mac had more backbone than she'd realised. If he could stand up to an scary-looking woman in a hoodie…

"What am I supposed to do?" said the woman. "I can't go home without the money."

"Were you actually born into it?" said Big Mac angrily. "I thought for a couple of seconds you actually cared about Noel."

Honey gasped and clutched Ethan's hand. What did her dad have to do with this?

"I do care!" said the woman. "But that doesn't get the debt collectors off my doorstep."

"You're not going to have to worry about that when you're in prison, are you?" said Big Mac, a sneer on his face as he turned to leave.

The woman followed him. "That's not going to happen, is it?" she said confidently.

"Oh? Really?" scoffed Big Mac.

"I've seen your friends, Mac," said the woman. "You know: the ones that think you're a hero? It would be a shame if they found out the truth."


	97. Chapter 97

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , yes, it's Mercedes. I actually ended up almost liking her. She wasn't as interesting or as well-rounded a character as Taylor, but she was a good temporary addition to the cast. I'm glad you like Ethan's sweetness. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. That's very true - Honey knows she can trust Louise to be there for Noel, no matter what. I'm glad you liked Honey and Ethan overhearing Mac's conversation - I liked the idea of Honey being the clever one who figured everything out, but she needed more evidence!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. We knew it was true, but I needed to find some more proof for Honey somehow! I don't think it would be as fun for me or for any of you if it was simply a rehash of the episode with some lines for Honey added. I'm glad Honey's confusion with words isn't getting boring or annoying.

* * *

Honey gasped.

Ethan held his finger to his lips. His hands shook slightly as he got out his phone, switched it to video and pressed record. He took Honey's hand and led her closer to the couple, then he put his arms around her and kissed her.

Honey was a bit confused. Why was Ethan kissing her when they might be about to find out something really important?

"Trust me?" Ethan whispered against her lips.

Then Honey got it! Ethan must be holding the phone behind her back so he could video Big Mac and the woman and he was kissing her so if the woman saw him, she would think they weren't paying any attention to them because they were too busy getting it on.

 _Ethan's so clever!_ thought Honey admiringly.

"It would be a shame if they found out you hid in the bogs while your mate got beat up by a girl," said the woman.

"I wasn't hiding," said Big Mac. "I had a legitimate medical condition."

"Maybe you did," said the woman. "Maybe you really couldn't have come out and helped him. But you still let them believe you did, didn't you? That you came running out like a big hero and chased me off? I think the fact you lied is going to matter a bit more than why you were really in there."

Big Mac sounded defeated. "So, it's just seventy quid, yeah? Seventy quid and you'll let this go?"

"Seventy quid," said the woman. "And you won't hear from me again."

Honey trembled in Ethan's arms and for once, it wasn't all to do with Ethan. She hoped he'd be okay. She hoped the woman wouldn't see the camera and try to hurt him. She'd already…

 _That woman hurt my dad._

Honey wrenched her mouth from Ethan's. "Ethan?"

"It's okay," whispered Ethan. "Please trust me."

That was enough for Honey. She trusted him with her life.

Even with her dad's life.

* * *

"So, you're just going to hand it to the police?" said Honey.

Ethan looked sad. "I think perhaps we should speak to Big Mac first and give him the chance to own up. But if he won't, we'll have to tell the police ourselves."

Five minutes ago, Honey would have agreed. The woman was evil. "But how's my dad going to feel when he knows what his mate did?"

Ethan gave her a hug. "I know it's difficult, Honey. But this woman could do the same to other people – she could be doing it already. And she's not just a mugger: she's also a blackmailer."

"I just don't want Dad to get hurt," said Honey. "He's got hurt too much already. First I start acting like a spoiled brat just because he has a girlfriend, then that woman attacks-"

Ethan caught her by the shoulders. "Honey, don't you ever compare yourself to her! She's a criminal. She is a violent criminal and a blackmailer. You had a shock and didn't know how to deal with it. You are nothing like her."

Honey was crying. "But I still hurt him."

"We all hurt each other sometimes," said Ethan. "We never want to, but sometimes it happens. What that woman did to your dad wasn't an accident. She chose to hurt him. Don't you think she deserves to go to prison for that?"

"Of course she does," wept Honey. "I hate her and I want her to go to prison forever and ever. But I don't want my dad to know his best mate's a lying coward."

"He might not need to know," said Ethan. "The police might just tell him his attacker has been arrested. They might mention that she's a woman, but she was wearing jeans and a hoodie. If Mac only saw her properly from the back, he could easily assume she was a man, or at least a teenage boy. I daresay it's sexist, but if I saw someone attacking a man, I think I'd assume it was a man too."

"I suppose," said Honey.

Ethan stroked her hand. "But the thing is, Honey, a crime was committed – two crimes, including the blackmail – and we have information about the perpetrator. It's our duty to give that information to the police. They might not be able to act on it directly as it was done secretly, but it will help point them in the right direction."

Honey nodded. She knew he was right. The woman needed to be caught and stopped.

"If your dad does find out about Mac, it will upset him," said Ethan. "But if he doesn't find out now, there is a very good chance he will find out later – and I think the longer this goes on, the more it's going to hurt. But there is one thing your dad has that's going to help him get through this."

"What's that?" said Honey.

Ethan looked lovingly into her eyes. "His daughter."

* * *

Lily was shocked when Ethan, on Honey's insistence, showed her the video. "I cannot believe that Big Mac would behave like that. I don't mean that he hid in the loo. It is cowardly, but I believe a lot of people would do that and it is unlikely Mac would have been of much assistance. Perhaps it was sensible for him to remain uninjured so he was able to offer preliminary first aid and call for help. But to permit people to think he's a hero is immoral."

Honey glanced at her a bit worriedly.

"Sometimes you don't realise you're caught up in a situation till you're in the middle of it," said Ethan.

"That's no excuse," said Lily inexorably. "Do you believe that he actually told lies to the police?"

"I very much doubt he'd go that far," said Ethan. "It's possible Mac hasn't lied to anyone except by omission."

"As a matter of fact, he has," said Lily coolly. "I would not usually repeat gossip, but Alicia says he told Rita he slipped over and hurt his back when he was chasing after the mugger."

Honey looked at Ethan in dismay.

Her feelings were mirrored on Ethan's face. "Then we know Mac has lied to someone."

Lily looked thoughtfully at the camera. "Does anyone else know about this?"

Ethan shook his head. "No-one. We thought about telling Louise, but we decided against it. She's up with Noel now. We thought someone should be with him."

Lily looked severe. "I very much hope you will inform the police about what Mac has done."

Ethan looked worried. "Usually, in this situation, I would want to go and talk to Mac directly and see if I can persuade him to own up, but I don't see how we can do it without telling him about the video. And that's going to look like blackmail – and that's exactly what it'll be. Oh dear. I really haven't thought this through."

Honey stroked his arm. "You were brilliant, Ethan. And there are worse things to do than kissing you by the ambulance station." She looked quickly at Lily. "We were only kissing so if the mugger looked at us, she wouldn't think we were paying attention."

Lily didn't even seem to have heard what Honey had said. "I think you need to show this to the police. We can tell Mac what he needs to do, but we can't control what he says when he actually talks to the police. If we tell him we know about this woman, he might decide to come up with another story. We know he is willing to tell lies."

"Yes, I think you're right," said Ethan unhappily. "It's all we can do. But I do feel sorry for Mac."

"Why?" said Lily. "He is a coward and a liar and he can blame no-one for that but himself."

Honey thought she had a point, but she wasn't looking forward to telling the police. "Shall we go inside then?"

Ethan still didn't look very happy, but he nodded. "As long as you're feeling better now, Honey. If you need more air…"

Honey kissed him. "I'm fine."

* * *

Zoe was looking for them when they got inside. "There you are. We've had a call from ITU: you can go up and see your dad now if you'd like to, Honey. Louise is up there already. I'm sure Ethan knows the way."

Honey looked questioningly at Ethan.

"We can go and see your dad first if you want to, darling," said Ethan. "Our evidence isn't going to go away and I really don't think a few more minutes will make much difference."

Zoe looked confused. "Evidence?"

"Ethan, I want to see him so much," said Honey, tears coming into her eyes. "But this is important. We have to sort this out first. If the police leave without speaking to us, they might start looking for the wrong things and it'll be all our fault."

"If you're sure," said Ethan.

Honey nodded. "I'm sure."

"I'm sorry: what exactly is going on?" said Zoe.

Ethan hesitated. "We have some information about the attack which we need to share with the police."

Zoe looked at them in confusion. "But you weren't even there, were you?" Her gaze zeroed in on Honey. "Were you?"

"No!" said Honey. "But we heard…" She glanced at Ethan.

"I'm sorry, Zoe. I think it's too public to talk about it here," said Ethan. "I don't suppose you know if any of the police are still here?"

Zoe thought. "I think P.C. Wilkinson is still here. She wanted to speak to Mac about what happened, but obviously he's been shaken up about what's happened and hasn't really felt like talking, so she said she'd give him a bit of time."

Honey's eyes met Ethan's.

"I just can't believe Mac actually chased the mugger off like that!" said Zoe. "I mean, _Mac_! Lovely guy and everything, but chasing off a mugger?"

Ethan looked at the floor.

"Yeah, we've had a bit of trouble believing it too," said Honey, feeling someone ought to say something.

Zoe looked at her sharply but said nothing. "I'll see if I can find P.C. Wilkinson. You'll want privacy, so why don't you use my office?"

"Thank you," said Ethan gratefully.

Zoe handed him the key. "There you are. If you need me for anything, bleep me." She smiled and started to walk away, but then she stopped. "Seriously, I'd never have believed Big Mac could be so modest! I think I underestimated him."

Honey thought sadly that they'd probably all underestimated Big Mac in a way.


	98. Chapter 98

**InfinityAndOne** , I'm really happy you feel Honey's still in character, even though this Honey is (I hope) much nicer than the real one turned out to be. The ending to their onscreen relationship was very sad and a bit of a shock! I feel sorry for Mac too, but I'm saving him a lot of stress and probably an addiction! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. There is something innocent about Honey, even when she's pole-dancing or seducing Ethan - Ethan is very innocent too, so I think that's part of the attraction. I'm glad Ethan was there to restrain Honey too - we know Mercedes can handle herself in a fight!

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I think everyone trusts Ethan too - there's just something so sweet and reassuring about him! I would trust Cal as a doctor, but not as a boyfriend.

* * *

Ethan let them into Zoe's office and there was nothing to do but sit and wait for the police. Not long after they arrived, Louise texted Honey to say Noel was looking much better. He wasn't really up to talking, but if Honey wanted to call her, she'd pass the phone over so he could listen.

Honey phoned Louise at once and waited while the phone was placed against Noel's ear. "Hi, Dad. It's me. It's Honey. I'm sorry I'm not there. I just have to do like, this thing and it's like, really important. I wish I was with you. I love you so much. All I want is to give you the biggest hug ever… but not too big in case I hurt your collarbone or your lungs or anything like that. I don't ever want to hurt you. I know I haven't known you that long really, but I love you and I'm so proud to be your daughter and from now on, I'm going to stop being a stupid baby and try to be the best daughter ever and make you proud."

She heard a painful-sounding whisper. "Already proud, Honey. So lucky. You, Louise and Mac. So lucky."

Honey started to cry, though she was careful not to make a sound.

Ethan immediately put his arm around her.

"Now, that's enough talking Noel!" Louise was saying in the background. A moment later, her voice was clearer. "Okay, Honey. I think Noel's getting tired, but you'll be able to come and seen him soon."

"Yeah," sniffed Honey. "Bye, Louise. Thank you."

Ethan took the phone away from Honey and ended the call before holding her tightly in his arms.

"I just hate it, Ethan!" sobbed Honey. "I really, really hate it!"

Ethan stroked her hair. "I know, darling. I know."

Honey was still crying when someone knocked on the door a few minutes later. Ethan passed her a tissue and went to the door, opening it a crack. When he saw it was P.C. Wilkinson, he almost didn't dare to say what he wanted to say, but he somehow found the courage. "I'm terribly sorry: could we just have a few minutes, please? Thank you so much." He returned to Honey's side and put his arms around her.

"Thanks, Ethan. You can let them in now," said Honey after a couple of minutes. She still looked fragile, but she'd stopped crying.

"Okay." Ethan kissed her cheek and went to open the door. "I'm sorry about that, P.C. Wilkinson. It's been a very emotional few hours." He'd felt like crying too at times. He liked and respected Noel very much and was desperately upset by both his mugging and Big Mac's behaviour, but he knew he had to be strong for Honey.

"It's all right. I understand," said P.C. Wilkinson. "Dr Hanna explained that Mr Garcia is your father… Miss Wright, isn't it?"

"You can call me Honey if you like."

"Of course I will, Honey. And you're the prospective son-in-law, Dr Hardy."

"Um, Ethan, please. Yes, I'm going to be Noel's son-in-law." Despite everything, Ethan felt a small swirl of happiness. He was going to marry Honey! And that meant she didn't have to go through this alone.

P.C. Wilkinson nodded. "It must be a very worrying time for you both, Ethan. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. I understand you have some information about the attack on Mr Garcia?"

"Yes, we do," said Ethan, a bit nervously.

Honey immediately took his hand in hers.

Ethan gave her a small but grateful smile. "We… we think we know who did it."

P.C. Wilkinson frowned. "You weren't present at the incident, were you? But obviously, you're known to Mr Garcia and Mr Chalker. Do you also know the perpetrator?"

Honey looked startled. "How do you know he's a traitor?"

"' _Perpetrator_ ', Honey. The, um, person who did it," said Ethan awkwardly. "We, um… it's probably best if I just show you. It probably isn't admissible as evidence, but if it helps direct your investigation in any way…"

P.C. Wilkinson handed the phone back to Ethan. "Okay. As the recording was gained without the knowledge of the participants, it's a breach of privacy and there is a limit to what we can do with it without risking you getting into trouble too, which we obviously don't want. But you are permitted to report the content of conversations you accidentally overheard. The fact I've seen the recording means that the possibility of your being unreliable witnesses is something I can put to one side. Is there anything else you can ell me?"

"I just hate the idea of getting my dad's mate into trouble," confessed Honey.

"I would say you're attempting to get him _out_ of trouble," said P.C. Wilkinson. "Mr Chalker has broken no laws. He might have lied to your father, at least by omission, but he has so far refused to talked to me or any of my colleagues. So he hasn't lied to the police. It will be difficult for your dad if he finds out the truth, but it will be even more difficult for Mr Chalker to keep up the lie for any length of time. These things do often come out eventually – and the sooner the better. So in my opinion, you're acting for the best as far as your dad and Mr Chalker are concerned."

"I suppose," said Honey doubtfully.

"Without your intervention, I'd probably have been a lot softer on Mr Chalker and made it a lot easier for him to tell lies, which wouldn't have helped anybody," said P.C. Wilkinson. "If we can get the truth out of him, that really will be the best thing for him and your dad."

"But what if my dad never speaks to him again?" said Honey worriedly.

Ethan put his arm around her. "I honestly think that would be more likely if the truth came out later. As it is, Mac will just come across as being deeply embarrassed about his behaviour – as anyone would be – and scared of admitting the truth and disappointing his friend. Your dad will be much less likely to forgive him if he knew he'd been lying to the police for weeks, potentially meaning that the person who attacked him is less likely to be caught."

"He did tell the police it was a man though," said Honey.

"It's possible he really did believe that until he met her face-to-face," said Ethan. "But don't forget, Honey: we're not just reporting Big Mac for what he did. We're helping to ensure that the woman who hurt your dad is caught and put away."

Honey nodded reluctantly. "I suppose we'd be even worse than Mac if we knew about this and kept quiet about it."

"You did the right thing," said P.C. Wilkinson. "Officially, I don't condone covert recordings, but off the record, I'm very grateful to you for your courage and honesty – you obviously work with Mr Chalker, Ethan, and you live with him, Honey, so I'm sure it wasn't easy. Okay. I'm going to leave you to it now."

"Would you like a copy of the recording?"

"I think it's best if we keep the recording off the record if we possibly can," said P.C. Wilkinson. "I don't want you to get into any trouble and although there's a good chance you won't, we don't need any complications. But please don't delete it just yet."

* * *

Ethan could tell Honey wasn't completely happy about what she'd done. He honestly couldn't blame her, though he agreed with P.C. Wilkinson that they'd done the right thing in reporting the conversation. But Ethan was actually rather grateful for the recording's presence. Speaking out against a colleague didn't seem so bad if it was an indisputable fact that he'd done something wrong.

"Shall we go and see your dad now?" said Ethan quietly.

"I don't know!" said Honey. Her eyes filled with tears. "I mean, I want to. But I don't know if I can look him in the face, knowing what we've done… and I'm scared too! I don't know what he's going to look like. If he'll have machines coming out of him. I'm really scared, Ethan."

Ethan put his arms around her. "It's natural to be scared. It's also natural to feel a bit guilty. But you haven't done anything wrong at all – I was the one who made the recording and you didn't know anything about it."

"I suspected," said Honey.

"That's not the same thing," said Ethan firmly. "Come on, darling. I'll take you to the staff room and make you another cup of tea and then we can call Louise to see if your dad's up to receiving visitors."

Together they left Zoe's office. Ethan supported Honey as they walked: he hadn't forgotten she was ill as well as upset. He was focusing on her so he didn't see his brother and Robyn until Cal said his name.

"We heard about Noel," said Cal, his gaze anxious as he patted Ethan's shoulder. "Are you both okay?"

Robyn, meanwhile, was embracing Honey. "I'm so sorry. We came as soon as Zoe told us."

"I'm okay," said Ethan, but his voice was shaking because Noel was the closest he'd ever had to a father.

Cal gave him a hug. Sometimes a hug from Cal was the cue for Ethan to break down, but this time, it gave Ethan the strength he needed to stay in control. "We'll talk later, bro, yeah?" Cal said in a quiet voice.

Ethan knew that meant he could cry later too. He hugged Cal gratefully in response, but he had no intention of leaving Honey long enough to have a crying session.

Honey wrapped her arm around Ethan's waist. And in that moment, Ethan knew Honey had guessed how he was feeling and wanted to comfort him even though it was much worse for her.

"I love you, Honey," he whispered.

"I love you too, Ethan."

"Aw!" said Robyn. "And I love you, Cal!"

Cal kissed her. "And I love _you_ , Robyn." He looked at Ethan. "Have you seen Noel?"

"We're going up to see him now," said Ethan.


	99. Chapter 99

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. It must be so horrible to talk to the police about the behaviour of a friend or colleague, but I agree they did the right thing.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I liked the police officer when I rewatched the episode - she did seem very decent and wanted to believe the best in people. Not always ideal in her job but always nice to see! I'm glad you liked the little moment between Cal and Ethan - I love writing about them supporting each other! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. It is a horrible position for Honey to be in - I'm glad you feel Ethan is supporting her in the right way. The rift is inevitable, but it would be horrible to be the one who caused it. Cal and Robyn would have made a lovely couple on TV, but I can't see it happening now!

* * *

Noel looked tired and unwell, but there was no denying the way his face lit up when he saw Honey. She rushed forward and grabbed his hand. Ethan hung back, but Noel smiled at him. "Come on, future son-in-law. You're part of this family too, you know."

Feeling quite emotional (but, he hoped, not showing it), Ethan went to Honey's side and touched Noel gently on the arm. "I'm glad you're feeling so much better."

"Having my family around me helps," said Noel. He smiled at Ethan and Honey before looking at Louise, who was on his other side. Then he looked towards the door. "More family! Come on in!"

Cal and Robyn stood in the doorway.

"We won't come in this time, but we wanted to say we're glad you're okay," said Cal.

"We're very glad," added Robyn. "We'll come and see you again soon." The two of them waved and then left.

"You're marrying into a good family, Honey," said Noel.

Ethan felt very proud and moved to hear that.

Noel smiled. "Now I just need to see Mac and my family's complete."

Honey gave Ethan a nervous look. "I think he's having a chat to that policewoman. Telling her what happened."

"Has he not told her yet?" said Noel.

"We… think he's a bit embarrassed," said Ethan.

"Well, he's got no reason," said Noel. "He should be proud of what he did. I don't know how I'm ever going to repay him."

Ethan and Honey exchanged another glance.

"Well… don't worry about that now," said Ethan. "I'm sure he'll come up when he's ready. How are you feeling?"

"A little bit sore," said Noel. "A bit achey. But I'm alive." He looked at Honey. "I'll be able to give my daughter away on her wedding day. And I owe it all to my best mate."

Honey looked a little stressed. "Dad, I think you're getting tired. Maybe you should sleep now."

Louise looked at Noel critically. "Yeah, I think you're right, Honey. Have another nap, Noel. We'll come back and see you later."

"No, I'm not tired," protested Noel, but he wasn't very convincing.

Honey kissed him on the cheek. "We'll come back. I promise. You won't be able to get rid of us."

She was almost out of the room before the first tears spilled.

Ethan pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.

Louise carefully closed the door of Noel's room behind her. "All right. What's going on?"

"Going on?" said Ethan. "What could possibly be going on?"

"Well, Honey's crying and you're both acting strange…"

"Honey's crying because it's hard seeing her dad like that," said Ethan. "And I always act strange."

Louise shook her head. "No, there's definitely something you're not telling me and if it has to do with Noel, then I need to know, right?"

 _Wrong_ , thought Ethan, but he didn't dare say it out loud. It wasn't that he wanted to hide anything from Louise, but she could be volatile. He and Honey had told Lily because they knew she'd give them clear-headed advice and keep what they'd told her to herself, but Louise loved Noel and would be understandably furious. Ethan didn't want her going after Big Mac and getting herself into trouble.

Honey was still crying.

"Could we maybe not discuss it now, please?" said Ethan. "I need to take Honey down to the staff room and get her something to eat and some more tea. Well, actually, I'd really like her to go home and rest, but I don't suppose she'll agree."

Louise's eyes were hard. Ethan knew she wasn't fooled for a minute, but then, to his relief, she nodded. "Okay. But when Honey's got her food and her tea, you'll tell me what's going on, right?"

"Well... I'm not absolutely sure what is going on," said Ethan. He told himself that was true. He didn't know whether Big Mac had told any outright lies, except to Rita. It made a difference to him, but perhaps it wouldn't to Louise, who saw things much more in black and white. "But I'll tell you what I can."

* * *

Lily was in the staff room when they arrived. She looked up as they entered and her eyes met Ethan's. "Ethan, I need to speak to you about… one of my patients."

"Ethan's not on shift anymore," said Louise shortly. "Can't you ask someone else? I don't think it's very sensitive of you to ask him now, Lily."

Lily looked away but said nothing.

"No, I'm very happy to help you if you need it, Lily," said Ethan at once. "I don't think I could handle a couple of hours in Resus – and I wouldn't want to be away from Honey for that long – but I'm sure I can cope with giving some advice. It's not a problem at all. Louise, would you mind making Honey some tea?"

"No way!" said Louise. "I always make it wrong."

Ethan looked helplessly at Lily.

"No, you make nice tea really," said Honey. "I know I can be fussy, but I just don't care now. I just want some tea." Her voice was trembling.

Louise gave Ethan another searching look, but then her nursing skills overcame her suspicions and she put her arm around Honey. "Come and sit down then. If you tell me what I need to do, I'll do my best. And maybe you could teach me how Noel likes his tea too? I really want to get it perfect."

Honey nodded. "Yeah, I can do that."

Ethan could tell Honey barely had the energy to think about tea. "I'll be back as soon as I can, darling. Thank you, Louise. I think you make lovely tea. Okay, Lily. I'll come now."

Lily led him a short distance away from the staff room. "The police officer is speaking to Big Mac."

"Thank you for letting me know," said Ethan, not sure why Lily had told him, but it was good to know that things were moving.

"Did you show her the video?" asked Lily.

Ethan nodded and told her what P.C. Wilkinson had said. "All we can do now is hope Big Mac will be honest – but the fact P.C. Wilkinson knows what happened will mean she'll push for the truth. I still feel terrible about it, but I want to catch the woman who did this to Noel and if the video isn't admissible, we need Mac to tell the truth."

"Big Mac is a coward," said Lily. "He hid when Noel was being mugged and he hid when the police wanted to hear his story. But that means if P.C. Wilkinson applies the pressure, he will prove his cowardice again and not resist."

"I hope you're right," said Ethan.

"It is always better to be honest," said Lily. "That is one of many things Dylan and I agree on."

Ethan smiled. "Is there anything you don't agree on?"

"We don't agree about Dervla," admitted Lily. "I can't spend the evening on the boat with them without sneezing a lot. But I hope the injections will help. I think it's a little bit better than it was. The day after my last injection seems to be the best time to go."

"Then it seems to me that you do agree on Dervla if you're prepared to suffer for her," said Ethan. "I'm sure Dylan appreciates it."

"Yes, I think he does," said Lily. She frowned slightly. "But I missed my injection today. I hope we can rearrange soon."

"I hope so too," said Ethan. There were only a couple more injections to go before Lily and Dylan's wedding, and Lily was adamant that she wanted Dervla to be a bridesmaid.

"But a wedding is not a wedding without worries," said Lily philosophically. "And as I am not the least bit worried about my dress or the catering, which are both already organised, and as I have put Rita in charge of organising my hen night, I have no worries at all. So I will worry about my injections instead."

Ethan nodded and smiled. "I think Rita is an excellent person to organise your hen night. She's very kind and intuitive. She'll know exactly what you want and she'll want you to feel comfortable and enjoy it. Do you know what you're going to do?"

"Big Mac," said Lily.

"You want a big mac on your hen night?" said Ethan, surprised.

"No! He's coming!" hissed Lily.

Big Mac was walking with his head down. P.C. Wilkinson walked beside him, talking to him quietly. It looked like they might be heading for the lifts.

"Do you think he told the truth?" asked Lily.

"He did look upset," said Ethan. "But he might be upset because he'd lied about his friend."

Lily looked frustrated. "I think I'm beginning to understand why Robyn likes to know about other people's business. Sometimes it is very important to know that someone has done the right thing."

Ethan wasn't entirely sure that was the main thought in Robyn's mind when she tried to found out the latest piece of gossip, but he could definitely see Lily's point.

* * *

Louise handed Honey her cup of tea. "There you are, babe."

"Thanks," said Honey, watching in surprise as Louise went over to the door. "What are you doing?"

"Shutting it," said Louise, and did so with a bang. She returned to Honey's side. "So, tell me then. What's going on?"

"Nothing!" said Honey guiltily.

"Don't give me that," said Louise. "Lily didn't want to ask Ethan about a patient. There's something you're not telling me, isn't it?"

"Oh. I thought they were talking about a patient," said Honey truthfully. "Do you think they were talking about… I mean, um, something else?"

Louise glared at her. "Just tell me, Honey!"

"Well, I… I don't…"

"Honey, I love him!" burst out Louise. "If there's something they've told you that they haven't told me, I need to know. I just can't believe you told Lily before me!"

Honey felt terrible when she heard the hurt in Louise's voice and mumbled something about Lily being involved in Noel's treatment.

"Yeah, okay," said Louise. "But I want to know, I have the right to know and you're going to tell me right now. Got it?"

Honey told her everything.


	100. Chapter 100

_So this is my 100th chapter out of the planned 10... thank you for sticking with me for the story so far. I hope you'll still be there at the end!_

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Honey's having a horrible time, but having someone like Ethan around to support you can only help. Lily and Dylan will be getting married in the chapter after this one and will take at least two chapters. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I don't think Big Mac thinks very far ahead - he solves the current problem and hopes the future will take care of itself! We know it's better for him this way, but he doesn't know what we know! I'm not sure anyone would get very far with keeping a secret from Louise. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm really happy you like this version - it actually cuts out three of my favourite storylines ever (Matilda, Emilie and Ethan wanting to quit) as well as Big Mac's painkiller addiction, but I'm so glad you like the changes. Let's say there might be some violence from Louise! ThHank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan knew what had happened the moment he re-entered the staff room. He could tell from Honey's guilty look and the hole in the staff room wall, which he presumed was due to Louise kicking it. Louise was pacing, her fists clenched, and a murderous look on her face.

Ethan went to Honey's side and hugged her. "It's okay," he murmured.

Louise swung to face them. "In what way is it okay? Mac didn't help his friend and then lied to everyone about it! Have you got any idea how Noel's going to feel?"

Honey burst into tears. "I thought we were doing the right thing!"

"We were doing the right thing." Ethan held her more tightly. "I just mean I don't mind that you told Louise."

"You don't mind?" said Louise disbelievingly. "What, do you think I need your approval now, Dr Hardy?"

"No, no, of course not!" said Ethan, resisting the urge to hide behind Honey. "I didn't mean it like that. I think Honey was concerned I might be angry with her and of course I'm not. It's entirely her decision."

Louise slapped her hands violently down on the table, making Ethan and Honey jump. "And you actually told _Lily_ before me!"

"I'm sorry. I can see why you're upset about that," said Ethan. "But we wanted to get advice from a neutral person. As Noel's girlfriend, you're not neutral. Lily always sees things clearly and she respects Noel without being close to him."

Louise seemed to have had the wind taken out of her sails somewhat. "I suppose that makes sense. So what are we going to do?"

"I think Big Mac is on his way up to see Noel now," said Ethan. "I suggest we give him a few minutes, make our way up there slowly and wait till he's finished."

"And then I'll kill him!" said Louise viciously. "Lying to Noel and acting like the big hero!"

"To be fair," said Ethan, "Mac has only lied by omission as far as we know and it can be quite difficult to contradict people who think you're wonderful. It's up to you, of course, but maybe we should focus on Noel for now?"

Louise sighed and slumped onto one of the stools. "Yeah, you're right. But I still want to kill him." A moment later, she was on her feet again. "And how do we know he'll tell Noel the truth?"

"Well… we don't," admitted Ethan.

"So if he doesn't, do we tell Noel or what?"

Ethan had to admit it was a good question. "It would be better coming from Big Mac, but it might cause Noel more hurt knowing we hid this from him."

Louise nodded. "Yeah. I don't think we can really not tell him. I mean, if he's feeling really ill or in pain, maybe we shouldn't. But apart from that..."

Ethan looked at his fiancée. "Honey? What do you think?"

Honey's eyes filled with tears. "I wish they hadn't been in that stupid park!"

"I know, sweetheart. I know." Ethan held her.

"But I do think you're right," said Honey after a moment or two. "He would want to know."

* * *

Honey stood close to Ethan in the lift. She didn't know what to hope for. If Big Mac had told Noel what happened, then Noel would be alone and hurting. If he hadn't done it, then Honey, Ethan and Louise would have to. Honey didn't think she could bear to see the look on his face when he found out the truth.

"We will get through this, okay?" said Ethan softly. "And so will you dad. He's got us." He met Louise's eyes. "All three of us."

The lift stopped and the doors swished open. Someone rushed in blindly, knocking into Honey.

"Please be more careful!" said Ethan sharply.

Honey was staring at the intruder. "Did you tell my dad, Mac?"

Big Mac already looked upset. At Honey's words, he became angry too. "So, it was you, wasn't it? It was you who told the police? Interfering in my life? But isn't that just like you. You don't want your dad to have anyone but you."

"That's not true!" said Honey, tears rising as she tried to back away from him.

Ethan stepped in front of her. "Actually, I was the one who reported you. Not Honey. Excuse us: we need to go and see Noel."

He and Honey got out of the lift, but Louise remained where she was for a moment, her eyes narrowed as she glowered at the man who'd allowed her boyfriend to be hurt. "You just keep away from Noel: you got that? You're lying, cheating, cowardly scum and if Noel never sees you again, it'll be too soon!"

* * *

Noel lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. In his eyes was a look of immense pain that wrung Honey's heart. With a sob, she rushed to his side, taking his hand in hers and holding it tightly. "I'm here, Dad. I'm here."

Noel turned his head towards her. "I'm so glad I've got you, Honey."

"And you've got me too," said Louise, as she took Noel's other hand. "We're here for yo."

Ethan stood beside Honey. "So am I, Noel."

Gratitude came to Noel's eyes. He tried to speak.

"It's okay, Dad," said Honey gently. "You don't have to say anything."

Noel looked at her sadly. "I thought he was my mate, Honey."

"Yeah, so did I!" said Honey. He looked so sad – Noel, who was always so cheerful and upbeat. Noel, who tried to see the best in everybody.

"It's at times like these when you find out who yours mates are," said Louise acidly.

"I don't mind that he hid," said Noel. "It was a scary situation and he might have ended up getting hurt too if he'd got involved. We could have been lying there for hours."

"Yeah, that's true," said Honey. "I mean, I don't think it would have been hours, but he'd be more use to you awake than unconscious."

"Not that he was much use," said Louise.

The desperation on Noel's face stunned Honey. "He's not all bad, is he, Honey? Tell me he's not all bad."

And then Honey realised. Noel wasn't really angry with Mac. He was terribly sad and hurt, but he didn't want to lose his best friend. He just needed a reason to hold on to the friendship; to give Mac another chance.

"Of course he's not all bad," said Ethan. "I'm not saying you have no right to be angry or upset, but Mac was in a very difficult situation."

Honey nodded. "Yeah, he was. He did the wrong thing and he is a coward, not so much for hiding but for letting you believe something that wasn't true. But it was really difficult for him."

"How difficult is it to tell the truth?" said Louise.

Honey could tell Noel was thinking the same thing.

"I think it's difficult when, for the first time in your life, someone thinks you've done something really amazing," said Honey. "You feel like you should correct them and tell them you're not that great, but you love the way they make you feel. Like you're somebody."

"I always thought he was somebody," said Noel, his voice rough with emotion. "He was my mate and I thought he was a good man."

"But he's a weak man," said Honey. "It's really hard when people think good things about you and you don't deserve it. It's happened to Ethan, hasn't it?"

Ethan nodded. "It is really difficult telling someone they've made a mistake – and it doesn't always make things better."

"How can it not make things better if you're honest?" said Louise.

"Because no-one ever seems to be grateful to you for clarifying something like that," said Ethan. "I quite often get the reaction: 'I wish you hadn't told me' because they were happier thinking good things about me than they were knowing the truth. I'm sure that was partly in Mac's mind: that it would make you much happier to think of him as a hero. But he was mostly influenced by his fear of losing you. No-one ever likes to disappoint a good friend."

Louise's expression clearly showed she didn't think this was on Big Mac's mind at all, but for once, she kept quiet.

"Yeah, Ethan's right: you've been through a horrible situation, but you were still kind of happy," said Honey. "You had one positive to hold on to: the fact your best mate was there for you. If Mac was the one who was attacked and the one thing making him happy was the fact you'd been there for him, would you find it easy to take that away from him?"

Noel sat in silence for a few seconds after Ethan had finished, then he nodded slowly. "I suppose there is something in that. But I'm not just a random patient. I'm his best mate."

"Yeah, so it was even more important that he didn't upset you," said Honey. "I would hate to have to tell Lily something like that. I would be honest, obviously, but it wouldn't be easy – and it would be easier for me than for Big Mac because I'd know I had Ethan behind me, supporting me. Big Mac only has you."

"You think maybe I overreacted then?" said Noel, a small crease between his brows.

"No!" said Louise. "Even if you do still want to be mates with them, that doesn't mean you've got to think everything he did was okay."

"That's something for you to decide, Noel," said Ethan. "It's probably impossible to think clearly now. But it could have been worse. Did Big Mac actually tell you he'd chased the mugger off or did he just not deny it?"

"I… it's pretty hazy, to be honest, but I don't think he actually said he did anything," said Noel.

"So he didn't directly lie to you," said Ethan. "And he told the truth a couple of hours later. A lot of people in his position would have kept the lie going for months. I'm not saying that what Mac did was right, or that you have to forgive him. That's your decision. But he could have behaved worse."

Noel gave a reluctant nod. "I suppose he could have done, yeah."

Honey squeezed his hand tightly. "It's up to you, Dad. Whatever you decide, we're going to support you."


	101. Chapter 101

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review and your congratulations. I think it will really help Noel to have Honey and Louise's support - and it might not hurt as much as it would have done if Big Mac had kept the secret for longer, as he did in the episodes.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think it's a good thing Ethan was there as Honey and Louise can both be volatile! I think Big Mac would have kept the lie going for months if Honey and Ethan hadn't caught him... Don't be jealous - I really wish I knew how to make my stories shorter. Thank you for your review and your congratulations.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review and your congratulations. I hope Louise won't hate Mac too much either - Noel has to make his own decision and Louise is such a strong character - she might have had some influence in the episodes too. But Ethan and Honey have changed everything!

* * *

Honey could hardly keep still. It was actually a bit of a problem considering she was trying to do Lily's dress up, but she was so excited about Lily's wedding.

"Would you like me to help, Honey?" offered Alicia. She'd finished her placement at Holby now, but she'd come back to be Lily's bridesmaid and everyone was really hoping she'd apply for the next F2 position at Holby – or registrar position if she passed her MCEM. She was studying very hard with Lily's help.

"No, thanks, Alicia. I really want to do this," said Honey.

Alicia smiled. "Then why not have a quick break? We've got plenty of time."

"Yes, we have," agreed Lily, who was remarkably calm about all aspects of the wedding except one.

Honey looked round. "Where's Robyn, Rihanna and Dervla?"

"Robyn is making another visit to the bathroom," said Lily. "Rihanna is with Hazel, and Dervla is with Dylan."

"But shouldn't they be here with us?" said Honey.

Lily shook her head. "Rihanna and Dervla will wait with Hazel outside the door. Hazel will go in while we're getting ready: she's sitting in the front row on the aisle so she will be able to take Rihanna if she becomes upset by the organ or the unusual atmosphere. Once Hazel is seated, the organ will begin to play and we will all walk in."

Alicia looked at Lily admiringly. "I don't know how you're so calm."

"I am not completely calm," admitted Lily. "I am very concerned about my missed injections."

Honey felt awful. "I'm so sorry you missed your injections because of me."

"It was my choice to miss them," said Lily firmly. "But the second one I missed was completely unrelated to you – I was detained in Resus and decided to prioritise the patient's health. But there is a chance I will be all right. There won't be dog hair all over the church. But I am concerned. I have no wish to be a sneezing bride."

"Could you take an antihistamine?" asked Alicia sympathetically.

"I have taken some," said Lily. "Perhaps it will help."

Alicia hugged her. Honey would have screamed at her not to crinkle her dress, but Lily bore it calmly.

"I'm sure you look beautiful even when you're sneezing, babe!" said Alicia. "And I'll tell you what. I'll take a big box of tissues in with me just in case. Honey and Robyn will be busy with Rihanna and Dervla, but I'll have two free hands after I put your train down!"

"And Dervla will be the furthest back, so you should be fine," said Honey.

Lily smiled at them both gratefully. "Thank you. You are both very kind. Dylan says he won't be annoyed if I sneeze, only concerned for me, but I don't want him or Dervla to feel guilty. I want them both to enjoy our wedding."

"Of course they will!" said Honey. "They love you! Do you remember when we were all on the boat and Dervla went over to you and you sneezed and Dervla nuzzled your leg to say sorry and then went and sat somewhere else?"

"It was probably the hair she'd shed rather than Dervla herself," said Lily. "But I will always remember that moment." She smiled. "Always."

The door opened and Robyn entered. "Sorry about that. My bladder is crazy today."

"It's not your fault, babe!" said Alicia, hugging her. "Come and sit down and I'll do your make-up for you."

Robyn smiled and sat down. "I'm so excited for you, Lily. And in another few months, it's going to happen to me and Honey too! You and Dylan are going to be so happy. I know you are."

A soft smile came to Lily's face. "I hope so, Robyn. I really hope so. Dylan is a very intelligent man and we share so many interests. We were on the phone until 2am last night – and you know that is very late for me when I'm not on a night shift."

"2am?" Honey had to admit she was impressed. "What were you talking about?"

"Penile warts," said Lily.

"Is that like warts you get in a penal connolly?" asked Honey.

Lily shook her head. "No. It is warts you get on a penis."

"I hope they've cleared up now," said Honey. "That's really not what you want on your honeymoon."

Lily stared at her, then she shook her head. "No, it was a general conversation. Dylan doesn't have any penile warts."

"Oh, that's a relief!" said Alicia fervently. "Not that I'd care if I really loved someone, but men can be quite sensitive about that sort of thing."

"So, you've checked, have you, Lily?" said Honey with a giggle.

"No, not yet," said Lily, lowering her eyes demurely. "I told you we are waiting for the wedding."

Honey smiled. "I think that's so sweet. I do think it's probably a bit weird to discuss penile warts with your fiancé, but you are both doctors and what's the harm in it if it makes you happy? Whatever floats your boat."

"That phrase seems particularly appropriate when applied to Dylan," said Lily.

Robyn smiled. "You must be so excited about your new boat."

Lily smiled slightly. "I think Dylan is more excited than I am. I am excited about sharing a home with my husband, but Dylan is excited about having a new boat too."

Lily, Dylan and Dervla were moving into a large houseboat boat immediately after the wedding. They were going spend six days on honeymoon (Lily couldn't go away for more than a week as she was still having weekly injections), then come back to Holby. The boat had three bedrooms so there would be plenty of room for the three children Lily hoped to have, as well as a spare bed for Rihanna when she came to stay.

"I'm sure he's more excited about you than the boat," said Honey loyally.

Alicia was looking towards the window. "Can you hear talking? I hope it's not Dylan trying to get a look at you before the wedding."

Lily shook her head. "He wouldn't do that. He is too superstitious."

Alicia pulled the lace curtain aside. "It's Big Mac! I don't know who the other guy is."

Robyn went to join her. "Oh my God: I know who that is! It's Dylan's dad. I thought you weren't going to invite him, Lily."

"I did not invite him," said Lily. She walked to the window. "Yes, that is definitely Brian. I wonder if Hazel told him."

"He might have seen her invitation," said Honey.

"Perhaps," said Lily.

"Did you invite Big Mac?" asked Honey.

Lily nodded. "I invited everyone else in the ED. I did not want to exclude anyone. I have been excluded too many times to want to do the same to anyone else. I hope you don't mind, Honey."

"No, of course not!" said Honey. "It's your wedding and I'd love my dad and Mac to get back together. You know, as friends. My dad really wants it too, but there's not much he can do when Mac keeps avoiding him."

"Maybe you could talk to them at the banquet," suggested Robyn. "They might be feeling relaxed if they'd had some champagne and it's going to be a really happy atmosphere too."

Lily looked out of the window again. "Perhaps I should go and speak to Brian."

Honey caught Lily's arm nervously. "Are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe we should talk to Hazel about it first."

Lily shook her head. "I have learned a lot about personal interaction from you, Honey. I believe it will be awkward for Hazel because she will be torn between Dylan's wishes and Brian's. But I have no loyalty to Brian."

 _Oh great_ , thought Honey. _So if this all goes wrong, it's my fault._

* * *

Lily opened the door. Brian and Big Mac were chatting like old friends.

 _They probably don't have any other friends_ , thought Honey, but she knew that wasn't true in Mac's case. He didn't know everyone had forgiven him. He wasn't answering his phone and although several people had sent texts, he might not be reading them.

"So, here's the woman who actually wants to marry my son!" said Brian. "Quite a looker too. Shame about the personality."

Honey threw herself into his path. "Hey, that's my best friend you're insulting!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Brian. "Would you like me to insult you instead? Hang on a minute: didn't you give me a lapdance once?"

Honey looked at him in horror. "Of course not!" _Actually, I do remember you. I gave you half a lapdance because of where you were putting your hands and then you made a fuss because you didn't want to pay up in full. But no way am I admitting to remembering you!_

"Not that it was much of a lapdance," said Brian. "I've had better from women twice your age. And anyone can see those boobs are fake."

Lily interjected icily. "Brian. What are you doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing here? I've come to watch the wedding of Dilly and Lily, of course."

"His name is Dylan," said Lily. "And you were not invited."

"Yeah, I am. Hazel invited me as her plus one!" said Brian.

Lily shook her head. "You know that is not true. Please leave immediately or I will take steps to have you forcibly removed. You have ruined Dylan's childhood. I will not allow you to ruin his wedding too."

"Dilly is a freak," said Brian. "He gets that from his mother, not from me."

"The only freak in Dylan's family is you," said Lily coldly.

Big Mac looked shocked. "Come on, Lily. There's no need for that, is there? Brian's all right."

Lily ignored him. "Brian, you have spent your life bullying and taunting the man I love. But he did not cave in to the pressure. He worked hard and became a doctor – an excellent doctor. The only doctor in our hospital to have passed his FCEM first time."

"Then he must be a freak," said Brian. "If it's normal to fail."

"Dylan is an exceptional man and doctor and I am very proud I am going to be his wife," said Lily. "I will even put up with having you as a father-in-law. But I will be your daughter-in-law only in name. We do not wish to see or speak to you - not unless Hazel and Rihanna can convince us you're a reasonable, rational and responsible human being. Until that moment, you are not part of our lives – and as that moment has not yet come, I am requesting that you leave. Immediately."

"Let me talk to Hazel!" said Brian.

Lily was unmoved. "Very well. I will call Hazel. If she asks me to let you into the church, perhaps Dylan and I will consider it. If not..."

She folded her arms and waited.

"Okay, okay: I'm going," muttered Brian. "All I want is to see my son get married. Is that too much to ask?"

"After the way you have treated your son, yes," said Lily.


	102. Chapter 102

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I think Lily is very good at sorting people out! Honey prevented Lily's treatment of Alicia from developing into bullying (Honey ruins all the big storylines in this story!), but they've gone from being a bit careful around each other to being proper friends.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm glad you liked the conversation between Honey, Lily and Alicia. It was a difficult one to write as they all hated each other in the series! I'm glad you liked Lily's scene with Brian too. I can't see her making gushing speeches about how amazing Dylan is, but fighting his corner seemed very Lily! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , it must be horrible for Hazel. I haven't written much about her, but I hope she'll enjoy the wedding! I don't think Brian would have too much trouble fooling Big Mac into thinking he's a nice guy. Maybe it's a good thing Ethan didn't hear what Brian said to Honey! Or would it have been better if he had? Thank you for your review. (And I hope the end isn't too disgusting.)

* * *

Honey let out a sigh of relief as Brian left. From his first words, when he'd insulted Lily, she'd known Dylan and Lily were right to exclude him from the wedding. And then referring to them as 'Dilly and Lily' with that stupid smirk on his face. "I'm glad he's gone. If I hadn't, I might have punched him."

"No, we don't want any of that," said Big Mac.

"Mac, please come in," said Lily.

Big Mac smiled at her. "Thank you, Lily. I'd love to see you and Dylan get married. But I don't want to upset Noel."

"He'd like to see you," said Honey gently. "He really misses you."

Big Mac sighed. "You don't have to say that, Honey. I'm sure he'd put up with me if I did go in, but I want him to be my mate again. I didn't mean to deceive him, you know. It's just when everyone was calling me a hero… even when I was a paramedic, no-one ever said anything like that. And the look on Noel's face… the man had been attacked, but he was happy because he thought he had a really good mate."

"I know it's hard," said Honey. "It's like that for me too. I still find it weird that Ethan loves me because he's really amazing and I'm not. The way he looks at me sometimes… I can hardly believe he's looking at me. And Ethan says when someone thinks he's done something amazing and he hasn't, he always feels so bad about telling them they're wrong. They even get annoyed with him sometimes and say they wish he'd kept quiet. It's like they had this little bubble of happiness and Ethan burst it. Just by being honest."

Big Mac nodded eagerly. "That's what it was like. And Noel was so weak. Physically weak, I mean."

"I believe you," said Honey. "But I think you were also scared of what we'd all think of you if we knew you'd hidden instead of coming to help your best mate."

Big Mac looked away.

"I get it," said Honey. "But we actually don't mind about that. It must have been so scary and there probably wasn't much you could have done apart from getting yourself injured too. It's just the fact you let him believe something that wasn't true that we didn't like."

"I know you're right, Honey. But I just keep thinking… if I left it, maybe things would sort themselves out."

"Or maybe things would have got even worse," said Honey. "Is that really a gamble you want to take with a friendship?"

"No," said Big Mac quietly.

"But it's not too late," said Honey. "I really think my dad would be really happy to see you. No-one hates you, you know. Louise was mad at first and so was I, but now we've thought about it, we get how hard it was for you. Everyone really misses you and they'd love to see you."

Lily nodded in agreement. "I would like you to come to my wedding, Mac. You know that, if I did not want you here, I would have asked you to leave as I did with Brian. But I am asking you to stay. Dylan and I both want you to be here."

* * *

Noel stared at Honey in disbelief. "Here's here? He actually came?"

Louise rolled her eyes. "I don't think Honey's going to lie about it, Noel." But she took his hand very firmly in hers.

"He's here," said Honey. "Lily's keeping an eye on him so he doesn't sneak off. I don't think he'll dare cross Lily after the way she totally owned Brian."

Noel looked worried. " _Brian's_ here?"

Louise looked furious. "He'd better not be!"

"No, Lily sent him off with a fly in his ear," said Honey.

"That's the very least I'd have done!" said Louise.

Noel looked at Honey. "Where's Mac's?"

"In the fo-yeah," said Honey.

Noel looked confused for a moment. "You mean the foyer."

"The entrance thingy." Honey stared after him in horror as he jumped to his feet. "Dad! You can't run about like that!"

Louise chased him. "Noel, don't be stupid. Do you want to end up back in hospital?"

Honey ran after them, nearly tripping over her heels. By the time she finally got there, Noel and Big Mac were standing in the foyer, their arms around each other.

* * *

Hazel was standing outside the church with Rihanna in her arms. "There you are, Honey. I've just changed her and she's not due for a feed, so she should be fine."

Honey lifted Rihanna into the air and smiled at the sight of the little baby in a miniature representation of Honey's own bridesmaid's dress. "She's so cute! Me and Ethan have so got to have a little girl."

"And soon I'll have two daughters," said Hazel, smiling at Lily.

"I will be proud to be your daughter, Hazel," said Lily simply.

Honey decided it was a good thing Alicia was bringing tissues. She might need them even if Lily's allergies weren't a problem.

When Hazel had (rather reluctantly) said goodbye to Rihanna, Lily turned to her own mother, Li Na. "And I am also very proud to be your daughter."

Li Na smiled. "I believe your father will be watching today, Lily. He will be proud. As I am. I think he would respect Dylan very much."

 _Oh, great. My make-up will be ruined by the time we get inside at this rate!_ thought Honey. She knew most people wouldn't notice because they'd be looking at Lily, but Ethan might notice and then he'd worry.

The organ began to play. Li Na offered Lily her arm. Honey knew she'd been hesitant at breaking tradition by giving her daughter away, but she'd agreed and now she was proud to perform the task. Lily smiled and took her arm and they walked through the doors and down the aisle. Honey followed with Rihanna in her arms. Alicia was behind her, and finally Robyn, holding Dervla's lead. Dylan had flatly refused to allow Dervla to wear a dress, but the pink silk that hung over her back was made from the same material as the dresses and she had flowers arranged on a band around her head. Robyn's job was to ensure Dervla behaved herself. Dervla was under strict instructions to make sure Robyn sat down if she showed any signs of faintness.

Dylan was waiting at the altar with Lofty, his best man, beside him. Honey initially saw fear on Dylan's face, but that faded as he saw Lily walking towards him. He was actually smiling.

Honey searched the faces of the congregation for Ethan. Everyone else was looking at Lily, but Ethan's eyes were fixed on Honey. "You look so beautiful," he whispered as Honey passed him.

Honey knew he meant it. Ethan wouldn't have said something like that to her during a wedding unless he'd been to overcome not to say it.

She could also tell he meant it from the look in his eyes.

It was very similar to the way Dylan was looking at Lily, only Dylan didn't look quite so soppy.

Not quite.

When they were almost there, Dylan turned to Lofty and said: "You'd better still have the ring, Ben."

Lofty smiled reassuringly. "Of course I have."

Lily reached the altar. Li Na smiled and patted Lily's hand. Dylan took Lily's hands in his and the vicar began to speak. Lily had wanted a British wedding rather than a Chinese one. Honey knew it was partly for Dylan's sake because he'd looked so horrified when Lily had told him about ceremonial Chinese weddings, but it was also what Lily wanted, though they were having a wedding banquet rather than a reception.

It was so beautiful. Before long, Rihanna was the only human bridesmaid who wasn't crying. Honey dabbed her eyes on one of Alicia's tissues and had a sneaky glance at Ethan to see if he was crying. He still had his glasses on, but he was blinking quite hard.

Then Lily sneezed.

She looked terribly embarrassed and apologised quietly, while Dylan, much less quietly, asked her if she wanted Dervla to move.

"No. I am fine now, thank you," said Lily, but she took a tissue from Alicia anyway and needed it almost immediately. "I am so sorry."

"Dervla, go and stand at the end of the aisle," said Dylan.

Dervla looked at him reproachfully.

"No, please don't send Dervla away," said Lily. She suppressed another sneeze. "I'm sure it's not her fault. Dylan, did you hug Dervla in your wedding outfit?"

"No, of course I-" Dylan stopped. "Yes. I think I did. I'm sorry, Lily."

"No, it's my fault!" said Lofty. "I let Dervla in to see him. She was scratching the door down. I didn't think. I'm sorry, Lily."

Dylan looked rather upset. "I don't think it is your fault, Ben. I left the suit on the sofa overnight. It's possible that Dervla…"

Lily sneezed again and dabbed her watery eyes. "I am so sorry." She looked upset. Honey reached out and stroked her arm.

"It's not your fault, Lily!" said Alicia.

"Should I change into my outfit for the banquet?" said Dylan.

"No. Please don't change anything for me." Lily wiped her nose. "Please, can we carry on?"

Honey heard the slight tremor in her voice and stroked her arm again. The wedding continued, but Honey had a horrible feeling the bride wasn't enjoying it very much.

Lily sneezed again, then took another tissue from Alicia and blew her nose almost soundlessly. "Dylan, I am so sorry."

"Lily, I'm a doctor. I see much more disgusting bodily functions than that every day – and as it's clearly my fault, not yours, I am the one who should be apologising, but we are rather busy so that can wait until later. I am concerned about you and I feel guilty for the part I played in it, but I am not in the least angry or disgusted." He paused for a moment. "You look... extremely beautiful. So why don't you stop apologising and try saying 'I do' instead."

They were repeating the vows rather than simply saying 'I do', but Lily seemed to relax slightly and was clearly trying hard not to let the sneezing bother her. She managed to get through her vows.

"I now pronounce you man and wife."

Dylan kissed the bride.


	103. Chapter 103

_I am going to spend a lot of the last few chapters writing about weddings. I'm a bit worried it'll get boring, so I'm trying to focus on what's unique about the weddings rather than the vows. Researching Lily's wedding was especially interesting. I hope the way I've written it isn't disrespectful._

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked the wedding service. There are going to be a few more weddings in this story, so I hope they won't all be too similar.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm afraid I have to warn you about the ending to this chapter too! I couldn't have a big argument in the middle of Lily's wedding - perhaps I'll save that for Honey and Ethan's! I had to get Noel and Big Mac back together too - Honey likes happy couples so she's getting lots! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. I do understand what you mean and I'm very happy - I've never read about Lily and Dylan as a couple before, so I really wanted to show they were still themselves and that I hadn't given them completely new personalities to suit my romantic visions!

* * *

Honey had enjoyed hearing about Chinese marriage traditions from Lily. She'd been intrigued to learn that, according to some schools of thought, incest had once been defined as marriage between two people with the same surname.

Lily respected the point of view, but she'd noticed the pitfalls. "It is understandable how this belief could have occurred, but according to these rules, for me to marry the singer Manu Chao, who is French (though his name is Spanish) and is no relation to me, would have been considered incest. For Dylan to marry Rihanna would have been acceptable. Or for you to marry your dad."

"Or for Cal to marry Ethan!" Honey suggested.

Lily said drily: "You must be _extremely_ glad that is not permissible in the UK."

Ethan looked slightly startled at this, but Honey knew Lily was joking. Of course she didn't _seriously_ think that there was anything romantic between Cal and Ethan.

Honey thought Lily was very funny if you knew what to listen for.

* * *

Honey and Ethan walked towards Lofty and a cousin of Lily's, who were sitting at the sign-in desk. It should have been a member of Dylan's family rather than Lofty, but Rihanna was too young and she needed Hazel with her, so Dylan had asked his best man to help. Lofty was very proud to be an honorary member of Dylan's family.

It could have been weird signing in for a wedding banquet, but Honey thought it was just right for Lily and Dylan. Everything was structured. Everything had its place.

It was also an effective way of keeping Brian out, if he wanted another shot at ruining Dylan's wedding.

Honey smiled up at Ethan, thinking how much he must approve of how ordered everything was.

Ethan smiled back as though he knew exactly what she was thinking.

It wouldn't have surprised Honey if he did.

When they reached the desk, Honey and Ethan handed over the red envelopes they were holding. They'd each bought a gift from the wedding list as well (Honey and Ethan had bought a fridge), but it was customary to give money to the newlyweds as well, though Lily and Dylan had stipulated that no individual must give more than £30. Honey and Ethan were each giving £28 as this was a lucky number, known as 'double prosperity' or 'double luck'. Honey (after some laborious mental arithmetic and checking with Ethan) decided that if twenty-eight was double the goodness, then fourteen must be pretty good too, but this was wrong. There was a belief that the number four was bad as the Chinese word for the number sounded too similar to the word meaning 'death'. Lily had told her that in Hong Kong, many residential apartment buildings didn't have floors for any number with a four in. This meant floor 15 was above floor 12 (13 was unlucky too) and floor 50 was above floor 39.

Lily didn't usually pay too much attention to beliefs such as this, but she was always willing to make an exception for the number four.

"It sounds perfect!" Honey had said in delight. "You and Dylan could go and live in Hong Kong and he'd never have to worry! Um, not that I want you to live on the other side of the world or anything."

* * *

The wedding banquet traditionally began two hours after the guests had been greeted. Dylan had found the two-hour wait nonsensical and said he didn't particularly want to treat fainting guests on his wedding day. Lily had listened and calmly suggested that guests should wait only one hour before it was time to eat.

Honey and Ethan walked into the banquet room to find Lily, Dylan, Li Na, Hazel and Rihanna ready to greet them. Dylan (no longer in the hair-covered suit) looked extremely uncomfortable, but he was clearly determined to go through with it for Lily. Lily looked very poised and beautiful in the red dress that had once been a tradition for the wedding but was now usually worn only at the banquet.

"I feel like a right mess next to her," Honey muttered to Ethan.

Ethan smiled and shook his head. "Not to me, darling. I think Lily looks very beautiful, but she doesn't come anywhere close to you. I wouldn't swap places with Dylan for anything."

"I wouldn't swap places with Lily," said Honey. "I don't even want her hair after what you just said."

"You have beautiful hair," said Ethan, as they reached the bride and groom and their family. Ethan bowed awkwardly and blushed bright red, even though he and Honey had been practising for days. He shook Dylan's hand and kissed Rihanna. Honey couldn't stop herself from giving Lily a hug, but Lily didn't mind.

The banquet was perfect. Li Na made a lovely speech about Lily and how proud her father would be, which made Honey cry, though she wasn't the only one.

Hazel's speech about Dylan was equally touching. She'd only known Dylan for about six months and he'd been refusing to speak to her for most of that time, but Honey couldn't help thinking she already knew him a lot better than Brian ever had.

Lofty's best man speech was funny – Honey suspected it was more faithful to British tradition than Chinese – but she loved the warmth, affection and respect that shone through in every line. She really hoped Dylan did too.

"And now my maid of honour," said Lily. "Dervla."

Ethan squeezed Honey's hand, not doubt remembering how hurt Honey had been not to be chosen as Lily's maid of honour, but she couldn't help smiling as Dervla hauled herself onto the chair beside Dylan and began to communicate with a series of little whines and tiny barks before bowing to Lily and Li Na.

"Dylan, did you teach her to do that?" exclaimed Honey.

Dylan shook his head. "I have better things to do than to teach Dervla things she's perfectly capable of learning on her own."

Honey leaned closer to Ethan. "We are so getting a dog."

"Perhaps we could discuss it later, darling," said Ethan.

Honey smiled to herself. It was clear Ethan didn't want a dog and she was fine with that, but there was no harm in teasing him a little bit. A few dog magazines left lying around; maybe Dervla would let Honey borrow her lead and a tin or two of dog food; then to finish it off, she could play some dog noises on her phone and completely freak him out.

"I know exactly what you're thinking, Honey!" whispered Ethan.

Honey smiled and held his hand more tightly. "I bet you do as well."

* * *

The banquet continued with cutting the cake and making toasts. Then came the tea ceremony. Honey watched critically as Lily made tea for Hazel and Dylan made tea for Li Na. Lily was technically perfect. Every move was decisive. Not a drop was spilled. Honey felt the serving of tea really demanded a few more smiles and a nice chat, but if that was how Lily wanted to do it, then she must be doing it right.

Dylan looked very uncomfortable with the tea-making and Honey held her breath, hoping there wouldn't be any accidents. She'd heard Lofty say to Dylan beforehand: "No matter what goes wrong, you won't be doing anything I haven't done a million times," but Honey couldn't help wondering how much comfort that really provided. She heaved a sigh of relief when Dylan's ordeal was over and Li Na seemed more than happy with her son-in-law's tea.

Honey's favourite part, however, was the radiant smile Lily gave Dylan before catching his hand and whispering into his ear. Honey knew Lily hadn't shared Dylan's fears and doubts. She already knew Dylan was wonderful.

The party afterwards was more reminiscent of other weddings Honey had been to, but although she was glad to get back to something she knew well and wasn't going to mess up, she felt sad in a way that the banquet was over. Lily and Dylan sat together, looking utterly content. They'd danced the first dance together and each danced once with Rihanna (who was very popular and had been taken round the floor by almost everyone), but Lily and Dylan otherwise preferred to sit and watch, their hands entwined. Honey had given Rihanna several dances and loved her little squeals of delight.

"Maybe our baby and Rihanna will get married," Honey said to Ethan as they looked through Lily and Dylan's wedding album, which, according to the custom, had been created before the wedding. "Then even more of us would be related!"

Ethan smiled. "That really would be lovely."

But soon another couple had caught Honey's attention. "Can you believe it? Alicia's dancing with Lofty _again_. That's six times now! He steps on her feet every time, but she doesn't care. Do you think…"

"I don't know, but I'm absolutely certain of what _you_ think," said Ethan affectionately.

Honey watched them, smiling. "I don't know who's the worst dancer out of them two. Alicia was all right at the start of the night, but she really likes a drink, doesn't she?"

Ethan stood up and held out his hand. "Would you honour me with a dance, as there's a small chance I'll no longer be the worst on the floor?"

"You're always the best as far as I'm concerned," said Honey. She smiled at him and placed her hand in his. "But I will honour you, yeah."

She let Ethan lead her into the centre of the floor and they started dancing. Ethan grimaced. "I'm sorry, darling. Perhaps I am still the worst."

"Of course you're not!" said Honey. "But if you're worried, you could always have lessons." She grabbed his hands in sudden excitement. "I know what we can do! I'll take you to a salsa club! It'll be brilliant!"

"Oh, I, um..." Ethan looked terrified.

Honey kissed the fear from his face. "Oh, come on. It'll be fun."

"I'll… think about it. I really think I'd rather get my legs waxed, but I honestly think I could face almost anything if you're there beside me."

Honey kissed him again, then looked up to see Noel kneeling down in front of Louise. She grabbed Ethan's arm. "Are those two…?"

The music was silenced. Everyone's attention was focused on Noel and Louise.

Then another song filled the air.

 _Every little breeze seems to whisper 'Louise'  
Birds in the trees twitter 'Louise'…_

To Honey's relief, Noel had decided not to use a recording rather than singing it himself.

The song came to an end. Honey held Ethan's hands in excitement as Noel looked up at Louise. "Louise. Will you marry me?"

The next sound they heard was Alicia being sick on Lofty's shoes.


	104. Chapter 104

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , Ethan and a dog would be interesting! I don't think he's had any scenes with Dervla, though there are a few episodes I haven't seen. You'll find out Louise's answer soon - if she gave an answer. Alicia probably ruined the romantic mood a little bit! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I remembered you liked the idea of Lofty and Alicia when she was all sweet and pink-haired, so I decided to make it happen. Assuming she hasn't ruined it. In some ways I wish I'd written more about Dylan and Rihanna's relationship, but I think I'll save that for another story! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm glad you enjoyed the ceremony - I really enjoyed reading about it and I was delighted to find out about 4! I'm glad you liked the ending too. The last chapter had ended with a wedding, so I didn't want to end this chapter with a proposal. Thank you for your review.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. I will confess that part of the reason I wanted to make the wedding partly British was to help cover up any mistakes! I'm really happy and relieved you liked the way it turned out. I really enjoyed the research, but fun research can result in a boring story!

* * *

Honey peered through the gap between the church doors. She couldn't see her dad, which was a bit annoying, but Iain was having a man-chat with Big Mac (she could tell it was a man-chat from all the postulating, or whatever Ethan called it when they acted all tough and manly), and there was Lofty talking to Dylan and there was…

"Are we all here?" said Alicia.

"I'm here!" said Robyn.

Honey looked around. There did seem to be lots of them. "Yeah, I think we're all here."

"Rita is not here," said Lily.

Zoe looked around. "Oh God. Where's she gone? I bet she's sneaked off for a quickie with Iain. Honestly: I thought me and Max were bad."

Honey gasped. "Are you and Max still on then?"

Zoe smiled secretively. "Perhaps… perhaps not."

"I reckon it's a lot more than 'perhaps'," said Honey.

"Oh, that's brilliant!" said Robyn, clapping her hands. Then she looked at Zoe rather more sternly. "As long as things go a bit differently from last time, I mean."

"They will," said Zoe seriously. "Er… if we're back on, I mean."

"Sorry to interrupt, Zoe, but we need to find Rita," said Alicia anxiously.

Robyn nodded. "She'll feel awful if she misses the wedding."

Louise was glowering. "She'd better not be late for my wedding! If she is late, she… she'll miss out on being in the wedding and she will have to pay for her own bridesmaid dress."

"Then I suggest we mount a search," said Lily.

Honey giggled. "I'd rather mount Ethan."

"Yes, Honey. Very helpful," said Lily.

"Has anyone got a phone?" asked Alicia. "I meant to bring mine, but my dress doesn't have any pockets."

"No, mine neither," said Honey.

Zoe reached into her cleavage. "I've got one." She phoned Rita, but there was no answer. She waited till it had gone to voicemail. "This is Dr Hanna speaking. Will Sister Freeman and Mr Dean please put some clothes on and get down here _right now_?"

They waited, but Rita evidently wasn't interested in listening to her messages at the moment.

"We must search," said Lily. "Zoe and Robyn, please check the kitchen."

Robyn looked nervous. "When you say the kitchen, you do mean just the kitchen, don't you? You don't mean the men's loo?"

"Oh, I'll go in the men's," said Zoe. "I'm not bothered. I'm used to men's body parts."

Honey giggled. "Yeah, I bet you are, Zoe!"

"Don't look at me like that!" said Zoe, but she was trying not to laugh. "I'm a doctor! That's all I meant."

"Alicia, please try the vestry," said Lily. "Honey, you and I will check the belfry."

"They must be bats if they're in the belfry," said Honey, remembering a joke Ethan had made earlier that day. She hadn't understood it at the time, but she'd thought it was really funny once Ethan had explained it.

"Yes. I can tell you're _Ethan's_ girlfriend," said Lily.

"Aw. Thank you!" said Honey.

Louise had other concerns. "And what am I supposed to do while my bridesmaids all desert me?"

Alicia smiled and took her hand. "You can come to the vestry with me if you like."

"Yeah, and what's Noel going to think if I'm not there either?" said Louise.

"Fine. You wait here and inform anyone who asks what has happened," said Lily. "With me, please, Honey."

Honey followed her outside. "You sounded just like Mrs Beauchamp just then."

Lily smiled. "Thank you, Honey."

Honey had meant it in the sense that Lily was overdoing the bossiness, but she decided to let it go. They really had to find Rita. There were hundreds of people in the church, waiting for the wedding. Ethan, Cal, Lofty, Big Mac, Iain...

Honey gasped in horror.

"What's wrong?" asked Lily tightly.

Honey couldn't say it.

"Honey!" Lily was back in Mrs-Beauchamp-mode. "If you have something to say, please say it quickly."

Honey took a breath. "Lily, you know when I was looking through the doors?"

"Spying on the congregation? Yes," said Lily.

Honey decided to let the 'spying' thing go. "Well… the thing is… I saw… Iain."

Lily was the cleverest person in the universe after Ethan, but she didn't get it. "Honey, we're looking for Rita."

"But if Rita's gone off to have sex and Iain's in there, who's she having sex with?" said Honey.

Lily remained calm. "We don't know that Rita has gone off to have sex. That is merely speculation. There are any number of activities she might be pursuing."

"Or she could be doing it with someone else!" almost wailed Honey. "At my dad's wedding!"

"Who else would want to have sexual relations with Rita?" said Lily.

"Anyone with half an eyeball," said Honey. "She's gorgeous!"

Lily cringed. "This is not the time or the place to discuss eyeballs."

"No, you're right. It's not." Honey gave her a hug. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. It must be the stress."

"Thank you for the hug and I accept your apology, but I really think it's of vital importance that we continue our search," said Lily. "If Rita is alone, she might be in need of medical attention."

"Hang on," said Honey. "There was someone else in there who I didn't see."

"I would be rather inclined to doubt that," said Lily.

"No, there was," said Honey unhappily. "And you'll never guess who."

"No - so I suggest you tell me," said Lily.

Honey wanted to cry. "Lily, _Max_ wasn't there. What are we going to do? If Zax and Riain have a big fight, it's going to ruin my dad's wedding."

Lily looked confused. "Who are Zax and Riain?"

"Zax is Zoe and Max, and Riain is Rita and Iain," explained Honey. "Alicia thought of it. Isn't it sweet? You and Dylan are Lilan. Me and Ethan are Hethan. Cal and Robyn-"

"We'll continue this later," said Lily, and walked briskly towards the belfry.

Honey followed, tottering on her heels as she found herself unable to match Lily's strides.

There were two identical doors right next to each other, but Lily knew which one she wanted. She pushed the door. It opened.

Honey stepped inside. She'd never been inside a belfry before. She listened for the bells but only heard panting. "The bells must be really big and heavy."

"They are," said Lily. "But that is not our current concern."

"I hope they're not about to ring them," said Honey. "Ethan says they can make you go deaf."

"I doubt anyone is attempting to ring the bells now," said Lily.

Honey was surprised. "Then why are they panting and stuff?"

"I suspect that is Rita and her companion."

Honey listened some more. "Yeah, you're right," she said sadly. "It sounds exactly like two people having sex. Poor Iain. Poor Zoe."

Lily walked over to a steep-looking staircase and began to climb. "They must be up here."

Honey followed her very carefully. "At least I know Rita's not up here with Ethan. He'd never be able to get up these stairs!"

Lily looked surprised. "I always thought Ethan was fit."

Honey burst out laughing. "Don't let Dylan hear you say that!" But she didn't laugh for long. She couldn't. "Ethan is very fit, but he doesn't like heights. He'd be scared of stairs like this."

"Yes. Of course," said Lily. "I remember now." She continued to climb the stairs. "I wish Dylan's phobia was as easily understood as Ethan's."

"I understand it," said Honey loyally. "And it's actually like, true. I was playing Monopoly with Ethan last night (he beats me: he always does) and I threw a four and I landed on Mayfair and Ethan had like, hotels on there. So he won. But Ethan says it doesn't matter what you're scared of. If you're scared, then you're scared and it's horrible." She stopped walking. "And I'm scared too. I don't want to go in there! I don't want Rita to be cheating on Iain with Max."

"It is possible it is not Rita and Max," said Lily.

"Oh, Rita!" came a voice from inside.

"Oh, Max!" was the reply.

Honey followed Lily with her heart in her mouth (though not really because that would be a bit gross. And what if you bit it by accident? Wouldn't you die? _Now who's asking stupid questions?_ )

"Oh, you hot, sexy nurse!"

"Oh, you big, hunky porter!"

Lily rapped sharply on the door. "We know exactly who you are and we know what you're doing. So I suggest you come out now."

"I think we might have come out already," said a voice from inside. It didn't sound like Rita or Iain.

"I might not be out," said a second voice. "Iain knows, but I might not have mentioned it to everyone. I just get on with doing my own thing and if someone sees me with a guy, that's fine. But I haven't done a big coming-out speech or anything like that."

Honey turned to stare at Lily. "Is Max gay then?"

Lily sighed. "It is not Max. It is Jez and Jack."

"Then where's Max and Rita?" said Honey. "Do you think they're having a foursome in there?"

The door opened to reveal Jez. "We'll just be a minute, okay? We've just got to get some clothes on and we'll be right down. We didn't mean to be so long."

They heard Jack's voice from inside the room. "Yeah, I so wanted to have sex in a bell tower. I thought we'd get some really good vibrations."

Honey grabbed the door before Jez could close it. "If it's you and Jack in there, why could we hear Max and Rita?"

Jez laughed. "Oh, Rita! You hot, sexy nurse. Is that what you heard?"

"Yeah," said Honey sadly. "That's what I heard."

"Don't worry," said Jez. "We were just acting out some fantasies. I like Rita and Jack likes Max." He closed the door.

"They are bats," said Lily under her breath. "The pair of them. They are bats."

* * *

"Where have you been?" said Rita, when they got back.

"Well, where have _you_ been?" said Honey.

Rita gestured to the door. "In there with Iain."

"Yeah: did you really not see her, Honey?" said Zoe.

Honey tried to remember. "I don't think I did. I suppose you are quite small though."

"I'm a whole centimetre taller than you," said Rita. "But I was sitting down. Iain might have been in front of me."

Louise rolled her eyes. "You lot are as bad as the men. Now shut up and watch me get married."

As she finished speaking, the organ began to play.


	105. Chapter 105

**Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. I'm really happy you thought it was funny. It really would have been terrible if it was Rita and Max! I really can't see those two together and of course, they belong with Iain and Zoe.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , Lily could do a lot worse than try to be like Connie - she can do the scary part already, but she hasn't got Connie's compassion yet (though Honey is probably working on it). I'm glad you liked the Zax and Riain part. I love those names. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I'm glad it was a little bit tense, wondering what Rita was up to! As for Louise's wedding, there might be a hitch or two mentioned in this chapter. I'm really glad Honey's silliness is endearing and that you like her conversations with Lily. I think it's a pity they hated each other in the series.

 _A belated thank you to **LilMissTrouble2501** for the follow and favourite._

* * *

"So, you're having a good time, yeah?" Honey shouted into her phone. She had no idea what Louise had just said. The reception was awful.

"Yeah, it's great!" Louise shouted back.

"I'm glad!" said Honey. Once they'd finally got started, Louise and Noel's wedding had been beautiful. Noel had looked quite distinguished in the suit Louise had insisted he wore and Louise had looked deceptively fragile and delicate in her floaty wedding dress, which Alicia, fortunately, had just about managed to avoid throwing up on. Big Mac, who had been humbled to be chosen as Noel's best man after everything he'd done, had given a lovely speech and had only pretended to lose the ring, finally finding it just when Louise was getting ready to kill him.

Honey looked up as someone entered the shop. It was Lofty. He gave her a quick smile and went to look at the magazines. Honey spent a few seconds envying him his curls. They were such a gorgeous colour and even though they were a complete mess, every curl was somehow in just the right place. Honey knew it would take hours to make her hair look like Lofty's and even then, it wouldn't look half as good.

Honey just didn't have that certain _jenny say cwar_ , which Ethan said was French for something or other. Honey had failed her GCSE French, but so had Alicia, which made Honey feel a lot better. Honey had scraped a pass in Spanish, which was nice considering her dad was called Garcia and everything.

"Anyway, better go!" yelled Louise.

Honey breathed a sigh of relief. It was really difficult having a conversation with someone when you could barely hear a word they were saying. Especially when it was someone who was likely to take offence if Honey said the wrong thing. "Oh, that's a shame!" Honey shrieked into the phone.

"We're going out for lunch!" shouted Louise. "I can't wait! We've barely left the suite all weekend!"

 _No, I did not need to know that_ , thought Honey. _But maybe I misheard it. Yes, I'm sure I misheard that part._ "I'm glad you're having a good time! Give my dad a hug for me!"

"Okay," said Louise. "Bye, Honey!"

"Bye, Louise." Honey turned to look at Lofty, a smile on her face. "Do you know something, Lofty?" she said dreamily. "That's exactly where Ethan was standing the first time I saw him."

Lofty came over to the counter, smiling. "It's funny how moments like that stick in your mind."

Honey nodded. "I didn't know he was one of the doctors. I thought he was a patient because he looked so pale. Well, actually, he _was_ a patient. He'd sneaked out of his room to go to Jeff's funeral, but he should have been in bed because he'd just had a peripartum centipede."

Lofty looked slightly startled. "Peri _partum_?"

"Yeah, was that wrong?" said Honey.

"Um…"

"What does it mean then?" said Honey. "I thought it meant to do with his heart."

"'Peripartum' means the late stages of pregnancy," said Lofty, a bit apologetically.

Honey laughed. "Oh, right. No. He didn't look very well, but he definitely didn't look pregnant. He'd just had a cardiac tampon. That's like when your heart gets blood all over it and you need a tampon to soak it up."

"Er… yes," said Lofty. "Ethan had a cardiac tamponade, which meant there was fluid pressing on his heart and squashing it a bit. So Cal gave him a pericardiocentesis - he let the fluid out using a needle."

"That's it," said Honey. "Maybe I didn't get it quite right, but you knew what I meant, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," said Lofty.

Honey smiled. "So, what can I do for you, Lofty? A cappuccino? A latte? A Honey special?"

Lofty looked a bit shy. "I was actually wondering if you could give me some advice."

Honey was pleased. "I can try. I think giving advice is a very important part of my job. As long as it's not medical advice. I just told you my fiancé was pregnant when I met him so I don't think I'm too hot on that really."

Lofty smiled. "I'm sure you'd do fine, but I actually wanted some advice on girls."

"Oh, I can do that," said Honey in relief. "I've been a girl all my life."

"You're ideal then," said Lofty.

"So, spit it out!" said Honey. "That's what I tell everyone who comes in here. Except when I'm talking about my tea, of course."

"I'm sure no-one would want to spit your tea out," said Lofty warmly. He checked no-one was queuing up behind him. "So, um, I was wondering. Do you think I should ask Alicia out?"

Honey stared at him in disbelief. "Have you still not done it? Lofty, she's been back at the ED for a whole week."

"I thought I'd let her settle in a bit first."

"She's settled in now," said Honey. "So do something about it before someone else does."

Lofty started to look a bit more hopeful. "Do you think she might say yes?"

"What do you think?" said Honey.

"Well, I thought she might like me when she kept wanting to dance with me at Lily and Dylan's wedding," said Lofty. "But then she avoided me for weeks and she hardly spoke to me at Louise and Noel's wedding."

"Yeah, that's because she was sick on you," said Honey. "She was really embarrassed. She thought you'd never speak to her again."

"I told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about," said Lofty. "It happens to me all the time."

"Yeah, but puking on a random nurse is a bit different from puking on the hot nurse you're really into," said Honey.

Lofty gave a small smile. "I don't know about 'hot', but you think she will say yes?"

"Is the Earth flat?" said Honey.

"Um… no," said Lofty, a bit apologetically. "It's round."

"Oh yeah!" said Honey. "I never thought of that before. I just thought it meant the same as 'do bears poo in the woods', only more polite. But yeah. Alicia's going to say yes. She thinks you're gorgeous. She says she wants to stare into your stormy eyes and play with your hair."

Lofty looked shocked and delighted. "Does she really?"

"Totally!" said Honey. "She wants to do other things with you too, but I think I'd better not say what they are in case she gets embarrassed." She felt suddenly worried that might put Lofty off. "She didn't actually _say_ she wanted to do other things with you, but I asked her and her face went the same colour as the ends of her hair, so I think we all got the message."

Honey had never seen Lofty smile so widely. "Thanks, Honey. You're the best. Apart from Alicia." He reached across the counter to hug her.

Honey was worried, but Lofty somehow avoided managing to knock anything off the counter. "Always happy to help, Lofty. And if you're interested, and not that I'm trying to get money out of you or anything, I know just how Alicia likes her coffee…"

* * *

Ethan gratefully discharged his last patient before lunch and hurried to the shop. "You look beautiful, Honey. How are you feeling?"

"A bit tired, to be honest," said Honey. At 11am, she'd been convinced she was okay and that she could happily have worked the afternoon as well as the morning, but two hours later, she was flagging.

"Is Jack here yet?" asked Ethan. Jack given up being a travel agent after a client had tripped over a chair, cut his head open and then thrown up at the sight of the blood. Jack had decided if that was going to happen, he might as well go back to the hospital. At least that way he'd be close to Jez. When Honey had told him they were looking for someone to work afternoons in the shop, he'd jumped at the chance.

"Jack's probably still in the ambulance station with Jez," said Honey. "Rita says she sneaked over to surprise Iain earlier, but when she opened the ambulance, Jack and Jez were in there, dressed as pirates."

"Pirates?" said Ethan.

Honey nodded. "Naked pirates, obviously. Eye patches and nothing else."

"Of course," said Ethan, blushing slightly.

Honey was about to tease him about it when they heard Cal's voice. "Robyn! Come back! You're not supposed to run!"

A moment later, Robyn ran into the shop, her cheeks as pink as Ethan's and her chest heaving. "Honey! Ethan! You'll never guess what!"

Cal arrived a second later and put his arms around her. "Robyn, you can't run around like that!"

"Cal, the doctor said I needed to keep active," said Robyn.

"Not this active!" said Cal. "Honey, have you got a chair or anything? Ethan, can you grab a bottle of water?"

Ethan did as he was told. By the time he'd got the water, Honey had brought out her stool for Robyn to sit on.

"Are you going to guess then?" said Robyn.

Cal took the bottle from Ethan. "Drink this while we guess, okay?"

"I know!" said Honey. "Lofty asked Alicia out and she said yes!"

Robyn gasped and spilled some of her water. "Did he? I never heard about that!"

"Careful, darling," said Cal, righting the water for her. "Okay. My guess is that Louise phoned from her honeymoon to say she and Noel are getting a divorce."

"Caleb!" said Ethan in disapproval.

"As if!" said Robyn. She smiled up at Cal, her eyes sparkling. "I might start divorcing _you_ if you say things like that when we're married. No, it's not that. Ethan, do you want a guess?"

Ethan thought. "Lily's pregnancy test was positive?"

Robyn squealed and jumped to her feet.

"Robyn, sit down!" said Cal anxiously.

"I never knew Lily was having a pregnancy test!" said Robyn. "Why did no-one tell me?"

Cal her guided her back down onto the stool. "Because you're supposed to be avoiding excitement! You know what they said about your blood pressure."

Ethan felt awful. "I'm so sorry. I overheard and I thought everyone knew. Please forget I said anything."

"I'm only mildly hypertensive, Ethan," Robyn reminded him gently. "Don't worry. Okay, you've all had a guess and you're all wrong. So I'm going to tell you."

Honey held Ethan's hand and waited.

Robyn looked round at them all, beaming. "Zoe and Max are going to renew their wedding vows!"


	106. Chapter 106

**Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you showed off - it means I made it clear what Honey meant! It is more difficult when Honey is only thinking things and there's no-one to correct her. Zax are one of the great couples indeed, but I do hope they have a happier ending than Romiet and more time together than Eloard. Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Zoe and Max have had a difficult time (and it's mostly Zoe's fault), but they are so good together and they've suffered enough - it's time for them to be happy! If I let them be happy, that is.

 **InifnityAndOne** , thank you for your review. I wanted to write something happy for a change! I could imagine Honey and Lofty getting on - they're both very intuitive. I can only agree about Ethan being adorable. He'll probably still be blushing when he and Honey have their golden wedding anniversary.

* * *

Zoe and Alicia seemed to be having a competition. Namely, who could drink the most. Honey was glad she wasn't participating. Not after what had happened last time.

Zoe's second hen night was very similar to the first up to a point. Those that had attended the first hen night were wearing the same outfits – at least, they were if they still owned it. They'd hired a limo from the same company and were now in the same pub. Lily, Alicia, Dervla and Jack had been added to the guest list, though Dervla was teetotal, along with Honey (because of her medication), Robyn and Lily (because of their pregnancies) and Rita (because of 'past alcohol issues').

Alicia had looked very worried when she'd said this. "You have problems with alcohol, Rita?"

Lily had given her a stern look. "Alicia, what have I said about prying into personal matters?"

"Oh, yes, I forgot," Alicia said guiltily. "Even Lofty tells me off for sticking my nose in sometimes. In a really nice way I'm so sorry, Rita. Forgive me."

Rita smiled. "It's all right, darling. I know you only asked because you care. But tonight is about Zoe, so let's not worry about me."

"All about me!" said Zoe tipsily. "Just how I like it. All about me."

"No change there then," said Louise, but Honey told herself she didn't really mean it.

Zoe didn't seem offended anyway. "You behave yourself!" she said, pretending to pour her drink over Louise's head.

Honey was enjoying herself. It was after midnight already and she was hardly tired at all. It was so good to be out with her friends – and they'd get to do it all over again when she and Robyn had their joint hen night.

Robyn's phone rang. Her face lit up when she saw who it was, but then she groaned. "It's Cal again! I do love him for worrying about me, but he only phoned ten minutes ago. If he wasn't such a completely adorable fusspot, I'd think he was checking up on me."

"He's such a mother hen," said Jack, who'd been so thrilled to be invited to go with them, he'd 'nearly turned straight'. "He might as well have joined the hen party. Then we could have enjoyed eyeing him up."

Robyn answered the phone. "Hey, gorgeous. I'm still fine. No, I haven't been drinking." She looked almost like she might cry. "I miss you too, Cal! Jack was just saying he wished you were here. How's the match? Oh, that's brilliant! I'm so happy. No, that's fine. It's completely normal to tell players who score winning goals that he can sleep with your fiancée. You only said it to the TV anyway, so it's not like he heard you. Just don't tell the manager he can sleep with me: he's miles too old!"

"I'm not letting anyone sleep with Jez!" said Jack possessively. "I'd be like: 'You've already scored a winning goal, mate. You don't need to score with my boyfriend too'."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later," said Robyn to Cal. "And don't worry if you can't phone every five minutes. It really is all right and you'll be the first person I call if anything happens. No, even if I have to call an ambulance, you'll still be the first person I call because an ambulance isn't a person. Aw, thank you! But I'm not as clever as you. Those FCEM examiners aren't going to know what hit then! I'll see you soon, sweetheart. Bye."

"I wish Max would phone to check on me," sighed Zoe.

"I'm sure he misses you, but I think he wants to make it completely clear he trusts you," said Rita.

Zoe looked worried. "Is that wise?" She picked up her latest drink, then put it down again, her tipsiness gone. "I really don't want to mess up this time."

"Then don't drink so much and keep your clothes on," said Louise.

Honey had to admit that was good advice.

Alicia reached across the table and knocked Honey's glass over, sending the contents into Honey's lap.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Honey," said Alicia, genuinely apologetic but clearly not realising how much she'd spilled. "I always get so clumsy when I'm drunk. Luckily, Lofty's really understanding." She turned to Zoe. "Zoe, you won't mess up. I know you won't. And we'll all be here, okay?" She tapped Zoe's glass. "Now, get that down you. Lofty says nothing relaxes you like a nice drink at the end of a long day."

"I think that's what I thought last time," said Zoe.

Robyn spoke anxiously to Honey. "Are you okay, Honey? Is your dress okay?"

Honey was looking down at her dress in dismay. "It's wet, Robyn."

"Yeah: that does tend to happen when you have a whole glass of water poured all over it," said Louise.

Alicia looked stricken. "I'm sorry, Honey. Was the glass actually full? I thought there was only a little bit left. I'm so, so sorry. Lofty actually did that to me on our first date and we had to go home early. I'm really, really sorry."

"Hey, it's okay!" said Honey. "Don't worry about it. It wasn't full anyway."

"How about you call Ethan and get him to bring another dress?" suggested Robyn. "He won't mind."

Honey looked at her shoes and handbag and mentally went through her wardrobe. Ethan would never be able to choose an appropriate dress without help, but he was getting really good at doing what she said. "Yeah, I think I'll do that. Thanks, Robyn."

"Is your dress ruined?" asked Alicia, so upset she managed a whole sentence without mentioning Lofty.

"No, I don't think so," said Honey. She gave Alicia a hug. "It's just a bit wet. Don't worry. It's okay. It was an accident."

She felt a hand touch her knee and decided someone must be getting very drunk, but it was only Lily. "It is very wet, Honey. You should take it off."

Honey looked around the pub. "I don't think I want to, thanks. Not with all these men all over the place."

Jack folded his arms. "Thank you very much!"

"Not you," said Honey quickly. "You don't count."

That hadn't come out quite as she'd intended it to, but Jack looked pleased. "Thanks, Honey!"

Lily was looking very serious. "Honey, I'm sure Ethan would want you to take your dress off _right now_ if he was here." Everyone laughed and Lily looked confused. "What is so funny? What did I say?"

"We're just thinking of other reasons why Ethan might want to tear Honey's dress off," said Louise.

Lily looked embarrassed. "I didn't mean…"

"It's okay. We know you didn't," said Rita. "That's partly why it was so funny: because it would never happen. Come on, Honey: I'll unzip you if you like."

"Maybe later, thanks, Rita," said Honey. "I'll wait till Ethan gets here. I don't want to sit here in my panties and I don't want to wait in the loo either."

"We could all wait in there with you," offered Alicia. "We can stand in a circle and do each other's hair. I do Lofty's hair sometimes."

Jack pouted. "What about me? Who's going to do my hair?"

"And if you think I'm giving up my table…" said Zoe.

"No, it's fine," said Honey. She smiled as she thought of Ethan. Maybe she was glad Alicia had spilled her drink. It meant Honey could speak to Ethan right now and see him soon! That was one of the best things about Ethan. If he said he was going to be there in five minutes, you knew he was almost certainly going to be there in four. Though if Dylan was there, Honey pretended it was five.

Ethan answered almost straight away. "Hey, darling. You're not feeling ill, are you? Would you like me to come and collect you?" Zoe had encouraged Max and the lads to go on a stag night. As the Holby derby was on Sky Sports, they'd decided to start off in the Holby Arms and go clubbing afterwards.

"No, I feel great!" said Honey. "I'm just a little bit wet, so I thought I'd call you."

" _Honey_!" Ethan sounded shocked and she knew he was blushing.

She didn't have a clue why though. "What? What did I say?"

"I, um…" Ethan clammed up. "Nothing."

"It wasn't my fault!" said Honey, still a little bit miffed by his reaction. "Not that it was Alicia's fault. It just happened."

Ethan sounded confused now. "What did Alicia do?"

"Nothing. She just knocked my mineral water over me," said Honey. "I was wondering if you could bring me a new dress?"

"Yes, of course," said Ethan. "Does it matter which one?"

Honey shook her head lovingly. "I love you, Ethan."

"Thank you. I mean, I love you too."

"Of course it matters which one!" said Honey, laughing. She looked round at the others. "My adorable fiancée thinks he can bring me any dress and that will be okay."

"Bless him!" said Robyn.

"Love him!" said Jack.

"He's such a sweetheart," said Alicia. "Lofty would probably be the same."

Louise shook her head. "Even _Noel_ knows it matters. He's got no style, of course, so he could never pick anything out on his own, but at least he _knows_."

"I think Noel always looks great," said Rita, a bit reproachfully.

Louise stared at her. "Have you been eyeing up my bloke? I mean my husband?"

"No. Not at all," said Rita.

"Well, you'd better not," said Louise. "Or I'll have something to say about it and so will Iain."


	107. Chapter 107

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like the chapter. I think Zoe needs her friends around her - she's got a second chance with Max and she really doesn't want to mess it up. She should be fine as long as her friends all stay with her this time.

 **Tanith Panic** , I don't blame you or Alicia for talking about Lofty so much - I'm sure I'd do the same if I wasn't so busy talking about Ethan! It seems typical of Ethan that the one time he picks up on the rude meaning is the one time Honey meant something innocently! Thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed this.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. Zoe really wants to get everything right this time, and as it was at the hen night that things went badly wrong, it seemed the best place to start! I'm glad you like the idea... though the night isn't over yet!

* * *

Some time had passed. Ethan had been and gone, and Honey was wearing the dress he'd brought. Zoe was worryingly happy and kept on calling out inappropriate comments to the men in the pub. Alicia was swaying from side to side and asking everyone to dance with her. She'd already danced with Jack, but he'd stopped as: "Dancing with a girl just isn't the same. No offence."

"I'll dance with you, Alicia," said Honey at last. She was actually feeling a bit faint, but maybe if she danced quickly enough, she would generate a bit of a breeze to cool herself down.

"Great!" said Alicia happily, getting to her feet. She nearly lost her balance, but Lily steadied her.

"Alicia, are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked sternly.

"It's a brilliant idea!" said Alicia happily. "I think we should all dance for Zoe. I just wish Lofty was here."

Zoe looked quite excited. "Yes! Strip for me. You should be good at that, Honey."

Lily looked severe. "I thought you said no strippers, Zoe."

"I said no _male_ strippers!" said Zoe, making a sweeping gesture with her hand and nearly hitting Rita. "I don't think any of you are male apart from Jack, who doesn't count. Unless there's something you haven't told me! And I will notice, you know. I'm a doctor!"

Honey laughed and carried on dancing, relieved to find it wasn't making her feel any worse.

Lily leaned over the table and spoke to Rita. "Are you all right, Rita?"

Rita nodded and tried to smile, but then she sighed and leaned over to touch Zoe's arm. "I'm sorry, Zoe. I'm going to go home now if that's okay."

"What? It's still early!" said Zoe.

"Oh, no, don't go, Rita!" said Robyn. She looked worried. "Are you okay?"

Honey was now holding a slightly wobbly Alicia upright. "I don't want you to go either, Rita, but if you're getting tired or something…"

"It's not that," said Rita quietly.

Honey realised this was really important and guided Alicia over to the table so they could both sit down. "What's up, Rita?"

Rita looked round at the others. "I'm sorry, but it's the alcohol. Seeing it and smelling it is getting to me and I'm scared I'm going to end up having some and I don't want to take the risk."

"Of course you don't," said Louise. "You're being sensible, Rita, and to be honest, I'm pretty tired and I was thinking about calling it a night. Being married is pretty tiring, you know."

Honey cringed. "I really didn't need to know that, thanks! But you'll be okay, Rita. Maybe if everyone switches to soft drinks, it won't be so bad." It definitely wouldn't be a bad idea for Alicia.

Zoe looked scandalised. "Switch to soft drinks? On my hen night?"

Rita smiled at Honey. "Thanks, but I really do think I need to go. Do you want to share a taxi, Lou?"

"Yeah, sure," said Louise. "We'll see you all tomorrow. And we'll probably talk to you soon, Zoe. We know all about your drunken phone calls!"

"Have some respect for your former clinical lead!" said Zoe.

Louise smiled pityingly. "Sorry, Zoe, but I was a receptionist when you were clinical lead so I wasn't answerable to you."

"Whatever. Fine. Go," muttered Zoe. "We'll have more fun without you anyway."

"Do you mind if I go too?" said Jack. "I miss Jez and I don't trust him to go clubbing without me."

The three of them stood up.

"I can't believe you're all leaving me on my hen night!" Zoe was looking stressed. "What if it all happens again?"

"It won't," said Honey reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Sorry, guys. I'll see you at the wedding tomorrow," said Rita.

"Say hey to Lofty for me if you see him!" said Alicia.

"Bye," said Louise. Pointedly, she added, looking at Zoe: "Don't do anything a sensible married woman wouldn't do."

Zoe started to sing 'I'm Getting Married in the Morning'. Alicia joined in. They sounded like a pair of cats that had just had not just their tails trodden on but their naughty bits too. When Dervla joined in, she was by far the most tuneful.

"It's excommunicating, isn't it?" Honey said to Lily.

"I think you mean excruciating."

"I knew it was something like that.

Lily leaned over the table and spoke firmly. "I really think you've had enough, Zoe."

Zoe stuck her tongue out. "That's Dr Hanna to you!"

"Yes, Dr Hanna," said Lily. "You have had far too much to drink."

Alicia grabbed Honey's hands and started to dance with her again. "Oh, I feel weird." She giggled. "You're a good dancer. Nearly as good as Lofty."

"Thanks," said Honey. She was watching Alicia's face. "Are you okay?"

"Um… yeah, fine," said Alicia. "Let's keep dancing."

They kept dancing.

"Excuse me, ladies," said a suave male voice.

Honey turned. "Cal! What are you doing here? I thought you were going clubbing."

"I was worried about Robyn," said Cal. "Sorry, can you move a bit more, Alicia? Thanks."

Honey couldn't help thinking that the old Cal would have been more than happy to squeeze his way between her and Alicia.

Robyn looked at him anxiously. "Cal, is everything okay?"

"No! You're still here!" said Cal, almost wringing his hands. "You need to rest, Robyn. And what if you inhale alcohol? You might hurt the baby!"

Robyn took his hands gently in hers. "Cal, you know that's not going to hurt the baby and it's not like I'm going to stick my nose in it. I'll be fine."

Cal looked beseechingly at Robyn. "Please come home, darling. I've been so worried and I miss you."

"I thought you were going clubbing," said Robyn.

"I think… I know this is a bit weird, but I'd rather stay at home with you," said Cal. "I don't want to watch some stripper get naked when I could be watching you. They all look like skeletons anyway." He kissed her. "I'd much rather watch you strip off. As long as you don't get too cold. Come on, Robyn. Come home with me. I don't need to go clubbing."

"Robyn's in the club already!" said Honey. Everyone laughed and Honey texted the joke to Ethan before she could forget.

"Please, Robyn?" said Cal.

Robyn smiled up at him. "Okay."

Cal helped her to her feet and bent down to kiss her bump. "I love you, Caleb Junior." He stood up and enfolded Robyn in his arms. "And I love you, future Staff Nurse Knight."

"Our baby girl and I both love you, Dr Knight," said Robyn.

They hugged for a moment, then they said goodbye and left the pub, their arms around each other.

"Honestly, those two," said Zoe. "I feel sick watching them."

"Yeah, me too," said Alicia.

"Come on, Alicia. Let's go to the toilet," said Honey.

"No, I don't feel that sick," said Alicia, her voice slurred. "You know what, Honey? If Lofty loves me half as much as Cal loves Robyn, I'll be the happiest girl in the world."

At that moment, Ethan's reply to Honey's text arrived. _That's an absolutely brilliant, darling. I wish I'd thought of it. Please tell Robyn we did try to stop Cal from leaving. I love you xx_

It was too late to tell Robyn. There were only… three of them left? Honey was sure there should be more of them than that. She knew Rita, Louise, Jack and Robyn had still gone, but where was Lily?

Her question was answered when Lily emerged from under the table. "Dervla says she'd like go home now. It is getting rather late."

Zoe was looking panicky. "No, don't go! You can't leave me here. You know what happened last time."

Lily looked almost sympathetic, which Honey knew she sympathised very much indeed. "I am sorry, Dr Hanna."

"Oh, call me Zoe!"

"I am sorry, Zoe. But I am not used to late nights and I am pregnant. I am going to drive Dervla home now. I will happily give a lift to anyone who needs it."

Zoe shook her head. "Thanks, but I can't go home yet. Not one guy has hit on me yet."

Lily's eyebrows shot up. "Is that not for the best?"

"How can I prove I can resist it if I don't get any offers?" said Zoe.

Lily looked around the room. "A fair point. But there are many men here."

"I could go and ask one of them to hit on you if you like," offered Honey. "I've seen loads of them looking at you." She thought some of them might have been looking at one of the others, but she was sure at least one of them would like Zoe.

"I need another drink," Alicia said to Honey. "Shall I buy the next round? I don't mind. Lofty always insists on paying when we go out together."

"Yeah, great. Thanks, Alicia," said Zoe, her eyes wide as a group of men entered wearing nothing but budgie smugglers.

"Don't look at them," said Lily.

"I was just thinking how hot Max would look in one of those."

"Yes. Keep thinking about Max," advised Lily. She slipped her coat on and picked up her handbag. "I will see you at the wedding tomorrow."

Zoe stood up and gave her a hug, which showed how drunk she was. She was usually quite sensitive about not hugging Lily, who only permitted it from Honey and (when not at work) Alicia. "Thanks for coming, Lily." She patted Lily's stomach. "Thanks for coming, baby Keogh. Shame Rihanna couldn't make it."

Zoe had invited Rihanna, but Hazel had said she thought Rihanna was a little bit young for the pub.

Zoe bent down (giving them all an eyeful that could only encourage the guys to hit on her) and had to grab the table to steady herself. "Thanks for coming, Dervla." She stood up again. "I have such good friends!"

"Goodbye, Zoe," said Lily. "Honey, please remember to take your medication at the usual time. I can send you a text to remind you if you wish." She hugged Honey goodbye. "Alicia, I think perhaps it might be advisable to switch to mineral water now. I'm sure that's what Lofty would say." She gave her a hug. "I'll see you at the wedding. Come on, Dervla. Time to go home."

"Let's dance!" said Alicia, after bolting her latest drink. She started to dance, but then she stopped. "Oh, Honey. I really don't…"

Honey grabbed her arm and dragged her into the loos, just in time.


	108. Chapter 108

_I'm sorry I missed updating Every Cloud. My mental health is bad and some stories are refusing to be written at the moment, so I might focus on the ones that are letting themselves be written, rather than keep to a strict schedule. I will still try to do one or two updates a day._

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. From all the stories I've heard about Zoe being drunk, I thought she'd be quite a funny drunk, if quite a rude one. Honey might not be a medical professional, but I think she has good instincts about when people need help.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think Zoe would have understood Rita's problems better if she'd been sober, but she's scared about renewing her vows and she's drinking far too much! I suspect a lot of the people who think it's impossible to have fun in a pub when sober probably haven't tried being sober. I think it's more to do with the company - I've had great times sober and miserable times drunk. I'm glad I was able to solve the budgie smuggler mystery for you. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Alicia sat on the tiled floor, leaning against Honey's shoulder, her face still pale. Honey was eager to get back to Zoe, but she could see Alicia was still feeling very ill and Honey didn't think it was a good idea to leave her on her own for long.

"Would you like me to get you some water?" said Honey gently. She knew water would be good for Alicia and it would give Honey the opportunity to check on Zoe.

Alicia sniffled. "Please don't leave me."

"Of course I won't," promised Honey. She gave Alicia some more toilet paper from the roll she'd stolen from one of the cubicles (and it hadn't been easy getting it out of that big white thing: did they glue them in place or what? So inconsiderate).

"I'm sorry, Honey," said Alicia, not for the first time. "I'm so sorry. Lofty warned me not to drink too much, but I always do."

Honey hugged her. "Don't worry. You probably won't even remember it tomorrow."

"I feel so stupid," said Alicia, wiping her nose.

"You're the last person who's stupid!" said Honey. "You've got a doctor's degree. I bet you know what a crikey thyroid ottoman is and everything."

"Cricothyroidotomy? Yeah, but I wouldn't want to try it without help," said Alicia. She sighed. "But yeah. I'm a doctor. If anyone should understand about intoxication it's me."

Honey shrugged. "Robyn told me Zoe always gets really drunk at those party things they have for doctors and she's a consultant. Everyone does it. I've seen Cal really drunk a few times too and Robyn told me Dylan used to be an alcoholic. I don't know how she knows that – she's like a sponge, that girl. She picks things up by hypnosis."

Alicia thought for a moment. "Do you mean osmosis?" she asked politely.

"Probably," said Honey. "You know, like at school, with the potatoes."

"That's right. Osmosis. That's exactly what Robyn does." Alicia smiled shakily and gave her a hug. "Thanks for staying with me, Honey."

Honey hugged her back. "That's okay. I'm sure you'd do the same for me."

"Of course I would," Alicia assured her. "So would Lofty. He's always so amazing when I get drunk. He never gets cross or anything."

Honey nodded and smiled. "Lofty's really great. He's the nicest guy in the world, after my fiancé and my dad and my future brother-in-law."

"They're all lovely," said Alicia, who probably thought that about everyone. Then her expression became more serious. "Honey, if you think you should get back to Zoe, I understand. It is her hen night."

Honey shook her head. "I'm not leaving you. Zoe will understand and I'm sure Lofty won't be long."

At that moment, there was a knock at the door. "Alicia? Are you in here?" said Alicia's favourite voice in the world.

"Lofty!" called Alicia.

Honey helped her to her feet and over to the door.

When she opened it, Alicia collapsed into Lofty's arms. "I'm so glad you're here! I feel so awful."

"It's okay, sweetheart. I've got you," said Lofty. "I'm sorry you're not very well, but I'm here now and I'll look after you, okay?" He looked over Alicia's shoulder at Honey. "Is Zoe, um…" He nodded delicately towards the cubicles.

Honey felt a feeling of foreboding. "No. She's sitting at our table… isn't she?" She hurried back towards the bar, with Alicia and Lofty following more slowly.

Their table was empty.

Honey ran to the bar. "Excuse me! Our friend who was sitting right there: where is she?"

"She left just now with one of our regulars."

Honey stared at the bartender in horror, then she rushed through the door and into the car park, anxiously looking around for Zoe.

"Honey, watch out!" shouted Lofty's voice.

Honey saw a taxi heading right for her and jumped out of the way, losing her balance and falling over backwards. Her ankle twisted painfully and her hands scraped along the tarmac, but as she recognised the person in the back seat, she was on her feet again and limping after the taxi, shouting and waving her arms, but the taxi didn't stop.

Lofty was supporting Alicia, so it took them a while to reach her side. "Honey, are you okay?" asked Lofty.

Honey stood on one leg and tried not to cry. "Lofty, why did you do that?"

"I thought the taxi was going to hit you," explained Lofty.

"Yeah, thanks and everything, Lofty, but it might have seen me and stopped," said Honey. "Then we'd have been able to get Zoe out of the taxi, then I wouldn't have fallen over and hurt myself!" She couldn't fight the tears anymore. "I want Ethan. Everything's gone wrong and I just want Ethan."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Honey. I didn't realise Zoe was in the taxi. I must have just panicked," said Lofty.

Honey sank to the floor and cried.

"Lofty, don't feel well," slurred Alicia, leaning heavily against him.

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll get you home," said Lofty.

"Where am I, Lofty?"

"At the pub," said Lofty. "You've just been to Zoe's hen night, but now I'm taking you- Alicia?"

He managed to grab her before she hit the ground.

Lofty must have dealt with this so many times before, but it was different when it was his girlfriend. He looked terrified as he lowered Alicia to the floor. "Alicia, can you hear me? Alicia?"

Honey was sufficiently worried to lift her wet face from her hands. "Is she breathing?" she asked, as Alicia's chest slowly began to rise.

"Yes, but it's a bit slow," said Lofty, rolling Alicia into the recovery position. He took off his coat and put it over her. "I need to call an ambulance. Could you run to the bar and get Alicia a bottle of water?"

"Run?" said Honey, looking down at her ankle, which was rapidly swelling.

"Oh. Right. Maybe I'd better do the running," said Lofty. "Could you phone the ambulance for me, please? Female in her twenties, lost consciousness after heavy consumption of alcohol. If Alicia wakes up, sit her up; try to keep her awake; keep her warm, and whatever you do, don't leave her, please."

* * *

Ethan was almost starting to wish he'd gone clubbing with Max, Lofty and Iain. Or home with Noel. Or perhaps even back to the boat with Dylan.

Cal was always so caring towards Robyn and anxious for her not to overdo things, but it sounded like he was letting her get a lot of physical activity at the moment.

Ethan knew he couldn't really complain. After all, he and Honey weren't exactly waiting for the wedding night. But he was sure they weren't _that_ loud.

His phone rang. Ethan picked it up from the table and saw it was Lofty. His immediate thought was that Cal had done something idiotic and got himself either injured or arrested, but the moans and creaks coming from Cal's bedroom reminded him that couldn't be the case this time.

It must have been one of the other guys who'd got themselves into trouble. They could all get a bit silly when they'd been drinking.

"Hey, Lofty," said Ethan.

"Ethan, I don't want to worry you, but I'm at the ED with Honey and Alicia," said Lofty. "Honey has an injured ankle, possible sprain, and we think Alicia has alcohol poisoning. Honey asked me to call you."

"I'll be there as quickly as I can," said Ethan, getting to his feet. "Please try not to worry – though that's a stupid thing to say as I'm certainly worried! I know everyone at the ED will do their best."

"Mrs Beauchamp's looking after Alicia," said Lofty. "Charlie's there too. I think David's with Honey. Do you mind If I go back to Alicia or would you rather I stayed with Honey?"

"Please go back to Alicia: she'll need you," said Ethan as he put his shoes on. "Honey will be okay with David till I get there. I'll leave straight away and I'll be with you soon."

* * *

Ethan sent Honey a quick text to say he was at the ED and joined the queue at the reception desk, but before he could reach the front of it, David appeared and came over to him.

"Ethan. Would you like to come with me? I'll take you to Honey."

"Thank you, David," said Ethan in great relief, and followed David to one of the cubicles. Honey was lying on one of the beds. She had one of her shoes off and her ankle looked badly swollen. Ethan ran to hug her. "I'm here, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too," said Honey, and started to cry. "Ethan, she was so ill. She couldn't talk properly and she didn't know where she was, then she just fell over!"

Ethan held her tightly. "I know it's scary. It's happened to Cal a couple of times. But Alicia's in good hands and so are you." He looked at David. "Has Honey had an x-ray?"

David shook his head. "It should be very soon."

"What happened?" asked Ethan, feeling an ache in his heart as Honey cried.

"Honey fell backwards getting out of the way of a taxi," explained David. "She is in quite severe pain and can't put any weight on her ankle. The doctor – she's a locum consultant called Dr Gardner - thinks a fracture is unlikely, but we're going to send her for an x-ray as a precaution."

Ethan personally thought the x-ray would be of little use when the ankle was so badly-swollen, but he was glad everyone was taking such good care of Honey. "I'm sorry you're having such a bad night, sweetheart."

"You don't know the half of it," sobbed Honey. "Alicia's gone to Resus. She's got alcohol poisoning and she's on a drip and everything."

"But she's conscious and the dehydration isn't severe," said David.

Ethan stroked Honey's hair. "That's really good news."

"But it's not just that!" wailed Honey, lifting her head from Ethan's shoulder. "Zoe went off in a taxi with a man."

Ethan groaned. Poor Max. "Does anyone else know?"

Honey wiped her eyes. "Not yet. Just us and Lofty and Alicia. I had to take Alicia to the loo and she was really sick and everyone else had gone home, so it was just Zoe at the table."

"Well... I really am sorry to hear that, but I suppose all we can do is hope for the best," said Ethan. "Perhaps it's all a misunderstanding."

But he didn't believe it and he could tell Honey didn't either.


	109. Chapter 109

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I'm glad you like Honey and Ethan together in this story - they were such a sweet couple. They were very different in lots of ways, but they had the same sweetnes and they both want to make people feel better. Thank you for your review and for your kindness - I'm feeling a bit better.

 **westlife4ever80** , thank you for your review. Your poor friend - I've never had alcohol poisoning, but it sounds horrible and it must have been worrying too. I hope your friend didn't suffer as much as Alicia, though it can be a lot worse in more serious cases.

 **Tanith Panic** , Alicia does have a problem with drinking in this story, though I think she has a very low tolerance rather than being an alcoholic. I'm sure Lofty will do everything he can to help. Lofty is very unlucky his kindness backfired, but he might have saved Honey from a worse injury. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey was discharged a short while later, but she didn't want to leave till they'd had some news about Alicia. She sat on Ethan's lap on the sofa with her foot elevated on a cushion. "How about phone Zoe again?"

Ethan nodded, but he before he could find her number, the door opened and Jacob came in. "Hey. Lofty asked me to give you the latest on Alicia."

"How is she?" asked Honey anxiously.

Ethan wrapped his arms more tightly around her. He knew that wouldn't make any bad news go away, but at least Honey would know she wasn't facing it alone.

"She's doing a lot better," said Jacob. "Her blood sugar and vitamin levels have improved and she's more alert now. She's on fifteen-minute obs, though Lofty's with her, so he should pick up on any problems. Would you like to see her?"

Honey nodded eagerly, so Ethan moved her gently from his lap, then helped her to her feet and handed her her crutches. Honey wasn't used to them yet and her hands were bandaged to protect the abrasions on her palms, so Ethan walked slowly beside her, ready to help her if needed.

Alicia was looking rather pale, but she managed to smile when she saw Ethan and Honey. "Hey. Thanks for waiting around."

"Yeah, thanks," said Lofty, who was holding her hand. "We really appreciate it."

Every word seemed an effort for Alicia. "We do appreciate it, but you need to rest your ankle, Honey."

Honey hugged her carefully. "We're not going anywhere."

Ethan had been rather hoping Honey would agree to go home, but he didn't argue. "I'm just going to-" He said, holding up his phone.

"Oh, you need a wee, do you?" said Honey without looking at him.

"No!" Ethan blushed. "I mean I'm going to call Zoe."

"Oh, okay," said Honey. "Good idea."

Ethan smiled at Alicia. "I'm glad you're feeling better." He went outside and called Zoe.

Zoe didn't answer.

* * *

Zoe looked like she hadn't had a wink of sleep, though Honey refrained from asking why. She already knew and she was disgusted with Zoe, but Ethan said they couldn't be sure Zoe had done anything.

"Of course we can!" said Honey. "She went off with that guy! The barman saw her!"

Ethan shook his head. "As I said, we don't know for sure anything happened and to raise a doubt in Max's mind now could be disastrous. He loves Zoe and he really wants to trust her, but he's also so afraid of losing her again. If we tell him now, he could call off the whole ceremony. And this time, Zoe might be completely innocent."

"It doesn't seem likely though, does it?" said Honey.

"It's impossible to know what to think," said Ethan. "None of us even saw them leave together. The barman obviously did see two people leave who seemed to be together, but that doesn't mean they were together – or even that one of them was Zoe. He won't necessarily know who was sitting at every table."

Honey had to admit Ethan had a point there.

But why else would Zoe leave without telling them and then ignore all their phone calls?

"But what if she did cheat on him?" said Honey.

"Then I'm sure she'll tell Max herself," said Ethan. "She told him last time. Zoe does silly things – more than silly – but she's not very good at hiding anything. I really do think it's better to let Zoe deal with this in her own time. Especially if we're not sure there's anything that needs dealing with."

Honey looked at him doubtfully, but Ethan was usually right about everything. So maybe he was right this time too.

* * *

They were hardly the healthiest-looking set of bridesmaids, Honey had to admit. But you'd never guess that from the way Ethan, Cal, Iain, Lofty, Noel and Dylan were looking at them.

Honey had refused to use her crutches and therefore had no choice but to limp down the aisle, leaning on Rita. A very shaky Alicia, who'd insisted on fulfilling her bridesmaid duties, was being supported by Louise, while Lily was holding her tiny sister-in-law. Robyn, whose pregnancy was very pronounced by now, almost waddled down the aisle with Dervla beside her.

The guy doing the wedding said he was something that sounded like 'celebrity', though Honey had never heard of him. He said a few words, welcoming them all to the renewal of Zoe and Max's vows, explaining that he'd been asked to make it as much like the original wedding as possible, though some of the wording was different as they were already married.

"We are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to reaffirm the love and commitment of this man and this woman in holy matrimony…"

Honey couldn't help looking over at Ethan and thinking that soon, someone would be saying similar words to her. And then she and Ethan would be joined together for all eternity.

Unless they got a divorce, of course, but Honey knew there was no way she'd ever want one of those. She hoped Ethan wouldn't want one either, but she had to admit it didn't seem very likely at the moment.

But Max, Honey thought sadly, could be another matter.

"If anyone can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let them now speak, or else hereafter forever hold their peace."

Forever was such a long time…

Honey suddenly found she was on her feet. "No! I object. I don't want to hold my piece. I want to say my piece. Max, I'm so, so, so sorry, but I've got to tell you. Zoe cheated on you again last night. She went off in a taxi with another guy when Alicia was vomming her guts up in the loo. I was with Alicia and everyone else had gone home so we couldn't stop her."

There was a very long silence. Then Zoe and Max slowly turned to face the congregation.

"Thank you, Honey," said Max. "I really appreciate that you were looking out for me and it was brave of you to speak out against Zoe. It's nice to know I have such a good friend. It really is. But we need to tell you something."

"I did leave in a taxi with a guy last night," said Zoe. "But it wasn't just some random I met in the pub. It was Max."

"I didn't want to be away from Zoe for another minute," said Max. "So I went to the pub and this guy was hitting on her and Zoe was telling him she was married, but he wasn't going away. So I walked up to them and told them I was Zoe's husband and I'd come to pick her up in more ways than one."

Zoe smiled affectionately at the memory. "So I went home with Max. As we are already married, I didn't think it could be bad luck."

Honey felt so awkward. She wanted to run to Ethan and hide her face in his chest, but she couldn't really run with a sprained ankle and her dress stuck out so much, she wasn't sure it would fit in the pew. "God, I'm so sorry."

"Honey, it really is okay," said Zoe. "As Max said, it shows you were looking out for them. I'm glad he's got you as a friend."

"The barman said he was a regular," said Honey.

Max nodded. "I do go in there quite regularly with Lofty, Jez and Jack. They have a karaoke competition once a month and the winner gets free drinks for them and three mates for the rest of the night. Obviously, Lofty or Jack nearly always wins, so it's free drinks for us!"

"A karaoke competition?" said Alicia. "I'd like to do that. Um, not now though. I'd actually really like to sit down."

"I'll get your wheelchair," said Lofty, springing from the pew and almost falling over, but Ethan grabbed hold of him and steadied him. Once he'd regained his footing, Lofty ran up the aisle, collected the wheelchair, and returned to Alicia's side. "There you are, love." He helped her into the wheelchair.

"Thank you," said Alicia, gazing up at him.

Lofty kissed her and returned to his seat.

"Sorry," said Zoe to the celebrity. "It was important to reassure Honey and I'm really glad she said something because she couldn't have enjoyed the wedding properly if she hadn't, but let's get on with the ceremony now."

* * *

Ethan wrapped his arms around Honey and watched as Zoe and Max climbed into the wedding car together. Max opened the door wide and helped Zoe inside, warning her not to bang her head. He bent down to kiss her for quite a long time before making sure her dress was fully inside the car and shutting the door.

He grinned at the others, unable to contain his happiness, and walked around to his side of the car. A quick wave and he was inside too. A moment later, the engine started up and Zoe waved through the window and blew kisses as Max drove away.

"Don't cry," said Ethan gently as he noticed Honey dabbing her eyes.

"Why not?" said Honey. "It was the most beautiful thing ever and besides, _you're_ crying."

Ethan realised she was right and hurriedly removed his glasses, feeling in his pocket for a tissue. Almost everyone was crying. Lily and Dylan, of course, were completely containing their emotions, but the fact it took Lily almost thirty seconds to suggest going back inside, with Dylan nodding his agreement rather than speaking, told Ethan they were far from unaffected. Noel and Iain were also in control, but Jez and Jack seemed slightly emotional and Lofty looked damp-eyed, while Cal, Rita, and Louise were also wiping away tears. As for Robyn and Alicia, they were openly sobbing.

"I just really, really, really want them to be happy this time," sniffed Honey. "I want all of us to be happy."

Ethan held Honey tightly. "Me too, my darling Honey. Me too."


	110. Chapter 110

_I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow, whether you're celebrating Christmas like me or just treating it as another day. I hope you all have as happy and stress-free a time as possible. Sadly, I don't think I'll be waking up to find Ethan in my stocking! He'd look so adorable in stockings._

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. The guy Zoe went off with was actually Max - I'm sorry if that wasn't clear. I'm glad you liked Honey thinking Ethan needed a wee. She's probably used to Ethan being delicate and vague in that situation, but Honey probably wouldn't find it embarrassing at all.

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , I wanted the hen night to be an almost-repeat of the last one, but obviously I couldn't let Zoe cheat on Max again. I haven't got over her doing it the first time! I'm so glad you liked the twist and I wish it could have happened on the show too. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you liked the twist. I couldn't split Zax up! Can you imagine how many people would want to kill me? I can Lofty being quite a romantic at heart, which is good news for Alicia! Dervla was such a good bridesmaid for Lily, I couldn't see Zoe leaving her out. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. Honey is probably quite embarrassed she accused Zoe of cheating on Max in front of everyone, but Zoe and Max must be grateful they have such a caring friend. She and the others who knew would probably always have wondered if she'd said nothing.

* * *

Honey had expected the time to pass slowly. She'd _wanted_ it to pass slowly. There was so much to do and she wanted to enjoy every single moment she spent with Ethan.

But she could hardly feel disappointed. Not now her wedding day was finally here.

After all those months of waiting and planning and thinking it would never happen, she was actually going to be marry Ethan.

And tonight, on their wedding night, they would forget the precautions and try to make a baby.

 _I'm going to be a mum!_ thought Honey, almost in awe, as Lily picked up her wedding address from a chair and held it to Honey could step into it. _I wonder what kind I'll be? A good mum? A bad mum? I think Robyn and Lily will be good mums. They're very different, but I know they'll both be brilliant. Robyn will be really kind and loving. Lily will be quite strict but always fair and very loyal._

Honey wished she could be sure of her own qualities as a mother. She thought she'd probably mess it up every single day, but she was lucky because Ethan would be there to sort everything out for her.

 _And I'll probably get better at it_ , she thought. _My dad didn't know what to do when he realised I was his daughter, but he's brilliant now. Ethan's actually going to have a hard act to follow! But I know he'll be wonderful. He's so kind and patient and just perfect._

Right now though, she had another role to worry about. Before she could become a good mother, she had to become a good wife.

 _In another half an hour, I'll be Honey Hardy_. _Mrs Honey Hardy. Or Mrs Ethan Hardy. I always thought I'd hate to be Mrs Husband's Name Whatever, but I'll be so proud to be Ethan's wife, I want everyone to know._

"Honey?" said Lily quietly and Honey realised she was still holding the dress.

"Sorry, Lily. I was daydreaming," said Honey. "About Ethan, obviously. And being a mum."

"It is very natural to daydream," said Lily. "But soon, your daydreams will be real. Just like mine."

She smiled down at her tiny bump, clearly about to say something about how wonderful Dylan was, but at that moment, the door opened and Alicia almost skipped into the room. "Honey, I love your make-up! You really do look gorgeous. Ethan's going to die when he sees you! Do you want me to help you into your dress?"

"Um… Lily was just about to do it," said Honey awkwardly.

Alicia turned to Lily. "It's fine. I'm happy to do it. Really. I know all sorts of things are more difficult when you're pregnant. It's likely to involve a bit of bending, so it would probably be easier if I did it."

Honey tried to smile. She knew Alicia didn't mean to be interfering. She genuinely wanted to help, but Honey had already asked Lily to do it and she knew Lily didn't think it was too much of a physical challenge because she'd have said so. Honey wouldn't have minded at all if Lily hadn't been able to do it, but Lily was her best friend in all the world and much as she loved Alicia, Honey wanted Lily to help her. "That's sweet of you, Alicia, but-"

"Oh, it's no trouble, babe." Alicia tried to take the dress from Lily.

Lily held on to it firmly.

Honey watched in horror. _Please don't have a tug of war with my wedding dress. Please._

"We do not require your assistance," said Lily. "Thank you, Alicia, but I have the situation very much under control."

Alicia, far from being put out, smiled even more. "I'm so glad you're here, Lily. Dylan's so good for you and you're so good for him."

"Alicia, do you think you could maybe… um…" Honey frantically searched her brain for something Alicia could help with, but her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Hi, Honey!" It was Lofty's voice. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I don't suppose you've seen Alicia?"

Alicia's face lit up at the sound of his voice and she almost ran to open the door. Lily gasped and quickly held the dress up against Honey so Lofty wouldn't see her in her underwear. Honey had danced in less, but things were different now. She was going to be a doctor's wife and she wanted to be all respectable from now on.

Alicia gave Lofty a kiss. "I'm here, babe!"

Lofty was smiling adoringly at her. "So I see. You look beautiful, Alicia."

"Aw, thank you! But I don't look as beautiful as Honey."

Lofty smiled at Honey and Lily. "You all look beautiful. Alicia, I was wondering if you might be able to help Cal? He's put the rings down somewhere and lost them. As you're so organised, I thought you'd be the perfect person to help us and also to make sure Robyn doesn't find out. Cal doesn't want to panic her when she's only two months away from giving birth."

"I'm sorry, babe, but I'm helping Honey," said Alicia. "Maybe Louise, Zoe or Rita could do it. Or one of the guys."

Lofty looked at Honey, Lily and Alicia. His deep blue eyes were sympathetic and Honey guessed he'd worked out what was going on without any of them having to say a word. He was really clever like that. Ethan usually knew what Honey and Cal were thinking, but he usually couldn't do it with anyone else, but Lofty almost seemed to have RSVP.

"I'm sure Honey can manage with Lily to help her," said Lofty. He walked into the room and put his arm firmly around Alicia. "Come on, sweetheart. Cal really is in a bit of a state." He led Alicia away.

Honey watched them go with some relief. Now Lily could help her as they'd planned without offending Alicia.

"Honey? The dress?" prompted Lily.

"Oh, right. Yeah," said Honey. She stepped into the dress and looked in the mirror as Lily carefully pulled it up and tied the halter neck. Honey looked at the full white lacy skirt with the silk bodice and the small cut-out heart displaying a tiny flash of cleavage that she hoped would entice Ethan without shocking him too much.

 _Oh, Ethan…_ thought Honey. _I can't believe you're actually going to marry me. You're so gorgeous and so intelligent and just the nicest, sweetest man ever… you could have had anyone. You could have had Lily! But you chose me and that makes me the luckiest girl in the world._

"No tears until after the wedding photos," said Lily, handing Honey a tissue.

Honey dabbed her eyes. "It's okay. My make-up's waterproof. I just can't believe it, Lily. I can't believe it's real. We've come so far and been through so much…" She wiped her eyes again. "Okay. Maybe it's not waterproof. Could you call Zoe and ask her to help me sort it out? Thanks."

Lily quickly dialled Zoe's number and listened. "Zoe has her phone switched off."

"She's probably in a cupboard somewhere with Max," said Honey. "Or up in the belfry maybe. Jack and Jez did it in the bell tower at my dad's wedding and Zoe loved the idea."

Lily made a face. "At least I can rely on you and Ethan to behave sensibly."

Honey smiled. "You can always rely on Ethan to behave sensibly. Except when he wakes up in the middle of the night and has a panic attack about the catering, but that's normal when there's going to be a wedding."

There was another knock on the door and Lily went to answer it. "I'm afraid we are rather… Robyn?"

Robyn's red hair was in ringlets and her strapless wedding dress flattered her baby bump. She looked very beautiful – but she was crying.

"What's wrong?" asked Honey, running to hug her.

"I just saw Alicia coming out from under a table with Cal!" sobbed Robyn.

"Oh, no, they weren't under the table like _that_ ," said Honey. "Cal's lost… um…" _Oh God, I'm not supposed to say, am I?_ "He's lost _something_ and Alicia's helping him look."

"I knew it would be too good to be true," wept Robyn. "Someone like Cal could never marry a fat lump like me."

Lily gave her a tissue. "You must not think that, Robyn. It is not true."

Honey hugged her tightly. "Lily's right, Robyn. You are not a fat lump and Cal loves you! He's just lost something and he panicked and Lofty asked Alicia to help. That's all."

"What has he lost?" asked Robyn, sniffling.

Honey looked at Lily for help. "Cal didn't want me to tell you, but it's nothing bad. Well, it is kind of bad, but it's not like, cheating on you. Cal would never do that and you know that really. He'd be more likely to cut his own penis off and you know how much he loves his penis."

Robyn cried even harder. "What do you know about Cal'e penis?"

"Much too much!" said Honey. "I've never seen it or anything, but he's always talking about it. I keep telling him to stop because it's gross and it embarrasses Ethan, but he can't shut up about it."

The door burst open again. "Found it!" said Alicia delightedly. Her face fell as she saw Robyn. "Robyn, what's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Just get away from me, you pink-haired tart!" said Robyn.

Alicia gasped and stared at Robyn, her lip wobbling. "What… why did you…"

"She didn't mean it," said Honey rather desperately.

"Yes, I did!" said Robyn. "You're a tart and a trollop and I wish you'd never come here!"

Alicia burst into tears.

Honey wanted to give her a hug, but it didn't seem very tractable when she was already hugging Robyn. She tried to signal to Lily with her eyes, but Lily wasn't very good at reading signals and she gave Alicia a tissue instead.

Lofty came into the room and put his arms around Alicia. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's not true and no-one really thinks that. Robyn, I know you're stressed about the wedding and that's understandable, but please don't speak to Alicia like that."

"I'll speak to her how I like!" sobbed Robyn. "Or I can't because we're in church and I can't say words like that in church, but you'd be saying it too if you knew what she'd just done. Except you probably wouldn't because you're too nice, but you'd be thinking them!"

"What has Alicia done?" asked Lofty gently.

"She was under a table with Cal!"

Alicia looked horrified. "It wasn't like that, Robyn!" she cried. "I would never do that to you or Lofty and neither would Cal. We were looking for something Cal's lost, that's all."

There was a knock at the door. "Alicia, are you in there?" called Cal. "I just wanted to tell you I've found it. So panic over."

Robyn pulled away from Honey and tore the door open. "Yes, Alicia is in here! And you're welcome to her. You deserve each other. And by the way, the wedding's off!"


	111. Chapter 111

**Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you liked the misunderstanding! I enjoy writing Honey like this, so I'm really happy you like the way I write her. She is lovely when she isn't breaking Ethan's heart or trying to get money out of Noel (and I don't think she'd do either in this story). I'll do my best for Robyn and Cal! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Cal will certainly do his best to talk Robyn round and so will everyone else - everyone can see how much Cal has changed. I think it's very easy to daydream about Ethan, though I hope Honey won't daydream all the way through the wedding - this is a moment she'll want to remember forever!

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. I'm really happy you like Robyn and Cal as a couple. I thought it might happen for them in Casualty, but it hasn't so far! She might still get her chance - and Cal would be brilliant with her baby. I'm sure all their friends are desperate for them to sort this out, so let's keep hoping!

* * *

Cal stared at Robyn. "Darling, what's wrong?"

Honey put her arms around Robyn and tried not to think about what would happen if the wedding was called off. It was a double wedding and it seemed a bit insensible for her and Ethan to get married if Cal and Robyn didn't. _But what am I doing even thinking about that? I'm such a b… sorry, Dervla. I'm such a female cat._

"Honey, what's going on?" said Cal.

"Um, Robyn saw you and Alicia crawling out from under the table," said Honey. "I told her you were just looking for… you-know-what, but she doesn't believe me."

Cal took a step closer to Robyn. "Of course we were doing you-know-what, darling. I wouldn't be under a table with Alicia for any other reason!"

"I think perhaps that might not have been the best way to phrase it," said Lily, as Robyn cried even harder

Cal looked like he might be the next one to start crying. "Robyn, please don't. Whatever I've done, I'm really sorry and I'll fix it."

"You can't fix this!" howled Robyn, while Alicia sobbed in harmony and Honey did her best not to join in.

They heard footsteps and Ethan appeared in the doorway. He didn't have his glasses and he had one hand over his eyes to make sure he couldn't even see a blurry Honey. Honey knew he didn't actually believe in the superstition of not seeing your bride before the wedding, but Honey had managed to convince him it was too important not to worry about.

Ethan lowered the hand he'd been using to grope his way along the wall. "Um… I'm not actually completely sure where I am as I left my glasses in my room and I'm so sorry if this is the wrong room and I'm going to look like a complete idiot if this is actually a cupboard and I'm talking to nobody, but I don't suppose Cal's here? I wanted to rehearse the rings again. I'm sure I'm going to drop at least one of-" He gave a soft gasp. "Oh gosh, who's crying? Is that you, sweetheart?"

"Don't let him in here!" begged Honey. "It's bad luck and we've got too much already!"

Lofty reluctantly let go of Alicia and hurried to Ethan's side. "Ethan, why don't you come with me? Honey isn't crying – it's two of her bridesmaids and I'm sure it'll all be sorted out very soon – but you will worry Honey if you get even a tiny glimpse of her, so why don't we go back to your room and then I'll go and find Cal for you?" He stroked Alicia's arm. "Then I'll come back, Alicia."

"Okay," said Ethan, and allowed Lofty to lead him away, but not before he'd called over his shoulder: "I do hope everything's all right. I love you so much, Honey! I'm so happy I'm marrying you at last!"

"Awwwwwww!" said Honey, tearing up again. "I love you too, Ethan!" But then she remembered Robyn and decided she couldn't think too much about Ethan now.

Cal checked Ethan and Lofty were out of earshot and then glared at Alicia. "This is all your fault! We weren't even supposed to be looking under the same tables!"

"I got lost under there!" wept Alicia. "There were so many of them, all pushed together, and I couldn't help thinking how lovely it would be if me and Lofty got married one day, and I forgot where I was!"

"Well, you shouldn't have forgotten!" snapped Cal. "If I've lost Robyn because of you, I am never, ever, _ever_ going to forgive you! And as for observing me in Resus, you can forget it."

Alicia's crying intensified. "I'm so sorry!" she wailed.

Honey looked at her anxiously and wished Lofty hadn't left. She didn't want to stop hugging Robyn, but Alicia was distraught and Cal obviously wasn't going to give her a hug.

To Honey's relief, Lily put her arm around Alicia. "Alicia, Cal is scared of losing Robyn. He does not mean to be so harsh. You have done nothing wrong and we all know that. Cal, please calm down before you upset the whole wedding party."

"Alicia, why don't you just go?" sobbed Robyn. "I know me and Honey asked you to be a bridesmaid, but I don't want you now and I'm sure Honey feels exactly the same!"

Alicia gave a strangled yelp tried to run out of the room, but Lily caught her and wrapped both arms around her. "Come here, Alicia. It is okay. We will work this out."

"Um…" Honey reluctantly decided it wouldn't quite be the best idea to be too sympathetic towards Alicia when she was comforting Robyn. "Robyn, I know you're upset, but maybe it's best if you don't say anything till you've calmed down? You know sometimes when you say things when you're upset and then you calm down and you realise you don't mean it? It might be like that!"

Robyn cried harder. "But she stole my fiancé, Honey! And Cal let her! What kind of monsters would do that to someone on their actual wedding day? Even Zoe had the decency to do it the night before!"

Honey decided she'd definitely had a point about encouraging Robyn not to say things she might not mean.

She looked over at Alicia, who was sobbing into Lily's shoulder. Lily was stroking her hair. "Don't cry, Alicia. It is not your fault."

"But I've ruined Robyn and Cal's wedding!" wept Alicia. "And I've ruined Honey and Ethan's too because they're too nice to get married when Robyn's wedding isn't happening. Where's Lofty? I need Lofty!"

Lily patted Alicia's shoulder. "Alicia, you did nothing wrong. All you and Cal did was accidentally meet under a table and crawl out again. Yes?"

"Yes!" agreed Alicia, sniffling loudly.

"So you did nothing," said Lily, handing Alicia and Robyn more tissues. "I hope you are listening, Robyn. Alicia did nothing. She loves you and she loves Lofty and she _doesn't_ love Cal."

Alicia blew her nose. "She'll never believe that. She hates me! No-one really likes me except Lofty and Louise and Mrs Beauchamp. All I want is to fit in with you, but I can't! I bet you only asked me to be your bridesmaids because I kept throwing myself at you and going out to buy Robyn all her cravings."

Honey gasped. "No, that's not true at all! I love you, Alicia! That's why I asked you to be my bridesmaid. You've been so helpful and sweet and I love your hair."

Lily nodded. " You have done nothing wrong, Alicia, and I love you too. We all love you."

Robyn lifted her voice to a wail. "I don't! I… well, I don't like to say the word 'hate', but I do feel slightly not completely positive about you."

Honey made shushing noises. "Come on, Robyn. Calm down. It's okay. Cal loves you more than anything and Alicia's crazy about Lofty. I'm not sure Cal's even noticed Alicia's a girl."

"Of course she's a girl! She has pink hair!" said Robyn.

"Loads of guys dye their hair," said Honey. "I know Iain does. Rita told me he's going grey!" She put her hand over her mouth. "Oh, I shouldn't have told you that. Rita told me that in the strictest confidence when she was drunk."

"She also told me in the strictest confidence when she was drunk," said Lily. "She phoned me especially."

"And me," admitted Robyn.

Alicia wailed: "She didn't tell me!"

"She probably passed out before she got to you," said Honey. "She did go really quiet suddenly when she was talking to me. I hung up in the end. And she didn't tell Zoe either. I know because I kind of accidentally mentioned it to her."

"Now, perhaps everyone would listen to me," said Lily. "Properly. Look at me please, Alicia and Robyn." Lily kept her arm around Alicia. "All right. We are here for two very important weddings and they are going to go ahead because the two couples love each other very much. Robyn – Cal is not cheating on you. He would not cheat on you. He will never cheat on you. Think about Cal for a moment. As he is now. Not as he used to be. Can you imagine Cal cheating on you?"

"Yes," said Robyn. She gestured towards Alicia. "Look at her. She's gorgeous! I've never had a figure like that in my whole life. And she's a doctor too, so she's more on Cal's intellectual level. And I could never have my hair pink. She's just stunning."

"Yes, but so are you," said Lily. "And you are the woman Cal is marrying. Because he loves you. He will never love anyone but you. This makes Alicia's opinion of Cal irrelevant, but she loves Lofty very much and she never stops talking about him. She even signed herself as Alicia Chiltern on a discharge form last week."

Alicia gasped and went red. "Did I?"

"Yes: clearly you have been practising your new signature in case Lofty proposes," said Lily. "It is not an unreasonable precaution. There is something of a proposal and marriage epidemic in the hospital at present. But there is no need to worry. I got a new discharge form, copied the information and signed it myself. I wasn't going to mention it, but I believed it would prove my point."

"I know I've only been with Lofty for a couple of months," said Alicia. "But No-ise and Lilan are married and you two are nearly married and Zax have renewed their vows and I'm sure with Riain it's only a matter of time… and Lofty's lovely, isn't he? He's sweet and kind and funny and so empathic. He doesn't even need to say a word. You can see it on his lovely, handsome, adorable face. And I just love his curls. I could run my fingers through them all day and stare into his deep blue eyes and listen to his gorgeous voice… he's the most amazing man in the world and I want us to be Lofticia for ever and ever!"

Lily lifted an ironic eyebrow. "This does not sound like a woman who wants to have fun underneath tables with your fiancé, Robyn."

Honey suddenly remembered something. "Oh, I shouldn't tell you this, Robyn, but Cal's got this whole repartee of songs with your name in that he sings in the shower. You know, like 'Rockin' Robin' and 'The Red, Red Robin' and a really cute one about a robin and his mate with an egg in their nest. And there was one I heard him singing once about a robin pulling a worm right out of bed, but Ethan says it wasn't _that_ sort of worm."

"Does he really do that?" said Robyn.

"Yes, he does!" said Honey. "And I'll tell you what else. I've never heard him singing 'Alicia Amnesia'."


	112. Chapter 112

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I'd never actually heard the song 'Alicia Amnesia', but I looked for songs with the name Alicia in and that looked like the best! I do quite like the idea of Lily and Alicia being friends. It is horrible for Robyn, but luckily, she has made a mistake. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'll say this for Alicia: she does know which guys are worth having more than once. Robyn does have lovely hair and she's very inventive with it. I'm glad you don't find Honey selfish in this chapter. It is a very important day for her and hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime thing! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. I'm really glad the humour comes in at the right places. I don't want it to be too sad, but it is still a bit of a disaster! I think Cal probably wouldn't appreciate Honey telling him about the songs he sings in the shower, though there are probably other things he does that are more embarrassing!

* * *

Ethan really didn't know what to say, but he wasn't going to give up. He rubbed his brother's back and told him everything would be okay. "It's just… a hiccup. All weddings have hiccups. And for once, Cal, you haven't actually done anything wrong."

"Except lose the ring," said Cal. He sounded like he was trying not to cry.

"Well, yes. Except lose the ring," admitted Ethan, his heart breaking for his brother. "But that's traditional – and Honey did say she wanted a traditional wedding. Don't worry about that. Just forget about the rings. You found them so it doesn't matter."

Cal stayed where he was for a moment, then he pulled away from Ethan and wiped his eyes. "You know, I really thought you'd kill me when you found out I'd lost the rings."

Ethan smiled. "Of course not! I'd never do that to Robyn. I do sometimes wonder about her taste – though not nearly as much as I wonder about Honey's – but she loves you and she wants to marry you and that's good enough for me."

"Yeah, I've never been quite sure about the taste of Honey," said Cal teasingly. He gave Ethan a quick glance. "Not that I've ever had my fingers in _your_ honey pot."

Ethan laughed. "She'd chop your fingers off if you even tried. Or at least give you a full set of acrylic nails, which would probably be worse."

"Hmmm… not _completely_ sure about that, Nibbles."

"Oh, I'm sure Honey will be delighted to give you acrylic nails if that's what you want," said Ethan innocently. "I'll mention it to her later."

Cal managed a smile. "Don't forget, Nibbles. I'm going to be giving a best man's speech later. There are all sorts of embarrassing things I haven't mentioned, but I might change my mind."

"And don't forget, Caleb, _I'm_ going to be giving a best man's speech too," said Ethan. "Definitely. Because you and Robyn _are_ getting married today."

Cal's smile was more convincing this time. "I hope so, Ethan. I really hope so."

"I know so."

Cal gave his brother a hug - he was probably still feeling quite emotional - then he pulled away with a groan. "Oh no!"

"What's wrong now?" asked Ethan, half-anxious, half-frustrated.

"I saw her!" said Cal. "I saw Robyn! It's bad luck to see your bride before the wedding."

Ethan looked at him.

"Not that I believe in all that," said Cal quickly. "But Robyn does. She's probably really worried about it. And what if it does come true?"

"Well, if there is any truth in it, you've had your bad luck already," said Ethan. "Robyn called off the wedding. It doesn't get unluckier than that."

"Yeah, thanks, Nibbles. That makes me feel a lot better."

"But I'm sure she'll change her mind," continued Ethan. "Robyn loves you, Cal. She's emotional because it's your wedding and because she's seven months' pregnant, so she's not really thinking straight at the moment, but she loves you and she _knows_ you. She knows you'd never cheat on her and I'm sure she'll realise that soon. Just give her a bit of time."

Cal looked at his watch. "She hasn't got much time. We are supposed to be getting married in half an hour…"

Ethan gulped slightly as he was seized by a sudden bout of nerves, but he did his best to speak calmly. "Well, if she's not ready by then, we'll call off both weddings and do them another time, when Robyn's feeling better."

"Don't you even think about it!" said Cal. "You're getting married no matter what. You've been waiting long enough. If Robyn doesn't want to marry me, then you and Honey can still get married and you won't have wasted your honeymoon reservations."

Ethan shook his head at once. "Oh, no, we can't go on honeymoon if your wedding gets called off, Cal. We just couldn't. But it won't be called off. I know it won't. Listen, I've got an idea. If Robyn still hasn't changed her mind in half an hour, Honey and I can get married first instead of you. And then Robyn will get caught up in the romantic mood and realise you're really not that bad… I mean that you're actually quite wonderful… and then the wedding will be back on. I'm sure of it."

Cal smiled at him gratefully and gave him another hug. "Thanks, Ethan. Even if she doesn't, at least I've still got you. Don't tell anyone I ever say this on pain of total and utter humiliation, but I think you're actually quite wonderful too."

Ethan hugged him back. "Thank you. It'll be okay, Cal. And if you'd like me to go and speak to Robyn for you, I'm more than happy to."

"Would you?" said Cal. "I'd really appreciate it."

"Of course I will." Ethan let go of him and smiled. "I'll go and speak to her right-" He stopped as he heard the sound of running feet. A moment later, the door opened and Robyn entered, panting.

"Robyn, what are you doing?!" gasped Cal. "You shouldn't be running around! What if you make yourself go into labour? Ethan, can you get a chair?"

Ethan was smiling to himself as he did as Cal requested. When he turned back, Cal and Robyn were hugging each other tightly as though they never meant to let go.

"I'm sorry, Cal!" said Robyn. "I know you'd never hurt me really. I don't know why you love me and I think Alicia's so much prettier than me, but I know I'm the one you love and I never should have doubted you. I'm so sorry for calling the wedding off and hurting you. I love you so much and I can't wait to be your Knight nurse."

Cal caught Robyn's face in his hands and kissed her hard. "I love you too, Robyn. So much. You're so beautiful and sweet and kind and clever and hot and so totally everything I want. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't marry me. Life would be so pointless without you. Please say you'll still marry me?"

"Of course I'll still marry you," said Robyn.

They kissed. Ethan told himself he was turning away to be polite, but it was partly so he could wipe his eyes without them noticing. He was so glad they were back together. He thought about going to tell Honey, but he remembered how serious she was about not wanting to see Ethan before her wedding and decided to wait. Robyn would be able to tell her the wedding was back on. If she ever stopped kissing Cal for long enough.

 _I'm so happy_ , thought Ethan as he wiped more tears away. At last _, everything is going to be perfect._

* * *

Ethan stood beside Cal, the rings for Cal's wedding on a seat close to him. Ethan and Honey's rings were near to Cal. In a few moments, Honey and Robyn would enter together – Honey on Noel's arm and Robyn on Max's. Their bridesmaids would be behind them, but Ethan doubted he'd look at them – or at Robyn, for that matter. The only person he'd see was Honey. _His_ Honey.

And very nearly his wife...

"Ethan, you're not crying again, are you?" said Cal, who was visibly shaking.

Ethan blinked hard. "No: my glasses must be catching the light."

"Everything's going to be fine," said Cal. He sounded like he was speaking to himself. "We'll have the wedding, then we'll be married, then everything will be fine."

The organ started up. Ethan was shaking too now. He and Cal watched as the doors at the back of the church opened. Several people walked in, but Ethan could only see Honey. She looked so beautiful. Her dress had a lovely high neckline and long full sleeves that fanned out between her elbows and wrists. The bodice looked soft and shiny and although the cut-out heart made him blush a little bit – the only hint of anything other than modesty – he loved it all the same. The skirt was full and floaty and seemed to be covered with wisps of lace and sparkling crystals. He couldn't see her face or hair because of her veil, but he knew she would look beautiful. Of course she looked beautiful. She was Honey.

It seemed like an age before Honey finally reached him. Ethan took her hands in his and squeezed them tightly, before letting go and checking he hadn't lost Cal's rings. The two couples stood at the altar together.

The celebrant - or 'celebrity', as Ethan's adorable Honey kept calling him - welcomed them all to the church, telling them they were gathered here today for the weddings of Robyn and Caleb, and Honey and Ethan.

"Who gives these women to be married to these man?" asked the celebrant.

Noel and Max came forward. Robyn's dad had been invited to the wedding, though Robyn doubted he'd come, but Robyn had only wanted one man to give her away.

And then it was time for Ethan's big brother and the woman he loved to say their vows.

"I, Robyn, take thee, Caleb, to be my husband." Robyn's voice was trembly but clear. "To have and to hold, from this day forward. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish till death us to part."

Honey started sobbing under her veil. "Ethan, have you got a tissue? I haven't got pockets."

Ethan gave her a handkerchief and Honey used it without lifting her veil. She took traditions very seriously.

"I, Caleb, take thee, Robyn, to be my wife." Cal's voice was full of intensity. "To have and to hold, from this day forward. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish till death us to part."

Now Ethan was crying and he didn't have another handkerchief. He started to panic. He did _not_ want to sniff his way through his own wedding. Or anyone else's, for that matter, but he really wanted to be able to enjoy his own wedding without worrying that Honey might not want to kiss him. He didn't want to use his sleeve. His mum might be watching from heaven.

He really hoped she was. He knew she would have loved Honey.

"Here," whispered Honey, handing the handkerchief back. "It's half-clean."

"Thank you, sweetheart." Ethan blew his nose as discreetly as he could, then he dabbed all the tears he could reach without taking his glasses off. He didn't want to miss a minute of his brother's wedding.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Ethan waited till Cal and Robyn had kissed, then he finally took his glasses off and wiped his eyes properly. It was his turn now.

He breathed in and out a couple of times and prepared to get married.

At first, the wedding went smoothly.

"I, Ethan, take thee, Honey, to be my wife," said Ethan. To his relief, he wasn't crying now. "To have and to hold, from this day forward. For richer-"

"Oh my God!" gasped Robyn. "I'm having the baby!"


	113. Chapter 113

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I suppose getting one out of two couples married is pretty good considering this is Casualty - I can't count the number of people who've been brought in in the middle of their weddings!

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked it. Yes, there probably will be lots of drama to come! I think Cal is probably a bit more superstitious about his wedding than he lets on.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm glad you like the dynamic between Cal and Ethan - they're such opposites in some ways yet quite similar in others. I'm glad I'm managing to make their relationship work. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Zoe reached Robyn's side first. "Robyn, it's okay. It's going to be fine. It might just be Braxton Hicks, but we'll get you to the hospital. Don't worry. Come on: let's get you into a pew and I'll examine you."

"My dress might be too big!" said Robyn.

"Don't worry about that. You're already married so your dress doesn't matter," said Zoe. "I'm sure it will be in a much better state than my dress after my first wedding." She smiled as Lofty put his arm around Robyn. "Thanks, Lofty." Between them, they got Robyn onto a pew and squashed her dress in too. "Cal, how about you stop standing there with your mouth open and come and support your wife?"

"Wife!" Cal was trembling again. "Robyn's my wife!"

Ethan took his arm. "Come on, Cal. You can do this. You'll be great."

Dylan and Lily had joined them too. Dylan was trying to persuade Lily to go back and sit down as she was pregnant too, but Lily said she was fine and there was no need to worry.

"It's going to be okay, Robyn. It's going to be fine," said Cal. "Can someone call an ambulance, please?"

Iain stepped out from the pew. "No need. Rita was running late so we came in the ambo. Sirens blazing and everything."

Ethan frowned slightly at this misuse of hospital equipment, then decided there were more important things to worry about.

Iain tapped Jez on the shoulder. "Come with me." The two paramedics raced up the aisle and Rita went to help Robyn.

Cal leaned awkwardly over the pew, trying to hug his wife.

"Climb over the back, then you can sit next to her," said Ethan. "Excuse me, Noel, Louise. Would you mind coming out so Cal can climb over? Thank you."

Cal almost threw himself over the back of the pew in his haste to get to Robyn. He sat beside her, hugging her tightly and rubbing her back. "I'm here, Robyn. It's going to be okay. Can you do your breathing for me?"

"Louise, why don't you go and help?" said Noel. "Robyn will probably be glad of a female nurse."

"She's got Rita," said Louise.

"I'm sure she'd like you to be there too."

Louise looked at him fearfully. "I'm not good with pregnant women."

Noel hugged her. "I know you're not confident with them, love, but that's not the same thing as not being good with them. I'm sure you'll be great and you won't be on your own. You'll have a whole team to support you."

Louise nodded faintly and went over to join them. Alicia gave her a quick hug and told her she'd be brilliant.

"Robyn, how long have you been having contractions?" asked Rita, as Zoe burrowed her way through Robyn's skirts.

Robyn hesitated. "A while. I thought maybe I was just nervous. But then I got a really bad one and I realised. Ethan, Honey, I'm so sorry for interrupting the wedding."

"It doesn't matter!" said Honey. "You just think about my niece or nephew, okay?"

Ethan squeezed her hand gratefully and called: "Honey's right, Robyn. We can get married another time. It's you and your baby who matter at the moment."

Rita looked around. "Okay, we don't all need to be here. We'll probably move Robyn in a minute, but even so, it's a very delicate moment. I don't want any men in here apart from Cal. Louise, you stay and help me, please. Don't worry: I know you can do this. Alicia, if you stay and support Zoe, you can put this towards your portfolio. Lily, maybe you could take charge of getting everyone out of here?"

Lily looked slightly disappointed to be excluded from the 'delivery room', but she nodded and took Lofty's and Dylan's arms. "Please go and wait through those doors there. Ethan, you too. If Dr Hanna requires an extra doctor or nursing staff, she'll know where to come."

Iain and Jez arrived at that moment with a trolley and a couple of bags of equipment.

"Iain and Jez, please wait a moment," said Lily, who seemed to be enjoying taking charge. "Let everyone else out first, then you'll have more room."

Ethan took Honey's hand. He thought for a moment of the exit from the church they'd planned, arm in arm, but that would come. They just had to wait a little bit longer. "Come on, Honey. I'm sure Robyn will be fine."

"Don't pregnant women need a water spray and hot water and towels?" asked Honey.

"I'm sure Iain and Jez will have everything like that," said Ethan. "A lot of women in labour travel to hospital in an ambulance and they won't necessarily have their birth kit ready if they're seven months pregnant like Robyn, so Iain and Jez will keep something in the ambulance."

"But don't they like, know in advance if someone's having a baby?" said Honey. "I mean, when you phone 999 and stuff, you have to tell them what's wrong. What if they don't have everything?"

"They won't always know in advance," said Ethan as soothingly as he could, but it was actually quite difficult staying calm when he was so worried about his sister-in-law. "If they're attending an RTC – a road accident – or rescuing people from a collapsed building, they won't know what's wrong with every casualty. But there is a chance one of them might be pregnant, so they'll need to be prepared for that. Don't worry, Honey."

"It looks like the baby is coming," said Zoe, her voice muffled by Robyn's skirts but still carrying clearly along the aisle. "But don't worry, Robyn. There should be plenty of time to get you to the hospital, but whatever happens, you're with trained doctors and nurses and we know what we're doing. Are Iain and Jez back yet?"

"They're just coming," said Louise, sounding almost calm. "They've got a trolley, Robyn, so we'll help you up onto that and get you to the ambulance."

Ethan hurried Honey to the end of the aisle and they stood watching as Iain and Jez rushed towards Robyn with the trolley.

"Here we are, Robyn!" said Iain. "Okay, if we just… no, not too close, Jez. I think we'll need to get Robyn out of the pew first, then onto the trolley."

Zoe crawled backwards out of the pew and stood up. "Okay, Robyn. Cal and I will help you out and up onto the trolley, okay?"

"Okay," gasped Robyn.

"You're going to be okay," said Zoe. "Ethan, Honey, I thought I asked you not to be here!"

"Sorry," said Ethan quickly, and hurried Honey out of the room. "Honey, I'm so sorry about the wedding."

Honey hugged him tightly. "We'll do it another time, Ethan. We've waited six months. We can wait another six hours… six days… however long it takes. Just promise I'll get to marry you eventually and I'll be happy."

"Of course you'll marry me," said Ethan, and kissed her. "I promise. I love you, Honey."

"I love you too."

* * *

Ethan was pacing. He didn't know why he was pacing and he knew it was only likely to make everyone else feel even more nervous but he really couldn't help it.

"Ethan, come on: sit down," said Honey gently as she slipped her hand into his.

"I'm so nervous!" confessed Ethan as he let her lead him to a seat.

Honey gave him a hug. "Of course you are! Cal's your brother and you know what he's like when he's under stress."

She was right. That was part of the reason why he was so worried.

But he was also worried about the baby. Most babies who were born at seven months survived and went on to have a normal life, but not all babies.

"It'll be okay," said Honey soothingly. "Robyn's there too and she's good at stopping him from doing stupid things."

"Robyn might be slightly distracted," pointed out Ethan.

"I'm sure everything will be fine," said Honey, holding him even more tightly in her arms.

Ethan looked round at the others. Dylan's eyes were wide with panic, which wasn't like him, but he was obviously thinking of Lily's pregnancy. Lily was holding his hands and speaking quietly but firmly. As Ethan watched, Dylan relaxed just slightly and leaned forward to kiss Lily.

It was good seeing them both so happy, thought Ethan. And they were perfect for each other too. He'd never forget the time he'd caught them in the admin cupboard, testing each other on the symptoms of abdominal chemodectomas with cutaneous angiolipomas. Honey had been most disappointed when Ethan had told her they'd both had their clothes on, but Ethan had rarely seen a couple look more content.

Iain had his arm around Rita and they were both smiling in a slightly knowing way that had caused Honey to whisper to Ethan: "Rita is _so_ pregnant." Ethan was glad she was able to smile about it without feeling jealous – though of course, there shouldn't be too long to wait before Honey was pregnant too.

Zoe and Max had disappeared a while ago 'to get some air' (Honey had said she knew which parts of them were getting an airing), while Jez and Jack had departed to, as Jack put it, 'look at the moon'. There actually was a moon in the sky, but even Ethan had strong feeling Jack wasn't talking about that moon.

Alicia was sitting on Lofty's lap due to a shortage of chairs (prior to Zoe, Max, Jack and Jez's disappearance) and she was smiling determinedly and talking about how happy she was for Cal and Robyn, but every few moments, the potentially sad reality intruded and she buried her face in Lofty's shoulder while he stroked her hair and looked worried.

Noel was looking a bit anxious as Louise was assisting with the birth at Robyn's request, but he was so proud of his wife.

When the text arrived, Ethan grabbed his phone, his stomach clenching when he saw who it was from.

"What's wrong?" asked Honey anxiously.

"It's from Cal," said Ethan, his voice shaking. "I don't know if I can read it."

"I know you can," said Honey. She hugged him. "But I'll look at it for you if you want. If it's too technical for me, I can always ask one of the others what it says."

Ethan loved her for thinking of it, but he couldn't bear to put her in the position of potentially having to announce bad news. "I'm okay. I can do it. But thank you, darling." Finally, he looked at the text, his eyes flooding when he read it. "Cal says he can see the head!"


	114. Chapter 114

_I meant to say before, but Honey's been added as a tag option now. So have Noel and Taylor if you ever want to write about them._

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. Robyn was very lucky the church was full of doctors and nurses and that Zoe was able to keep calm and get everyone organised! It does seem weird to forget you're married, but it can happen early in the marriage if you've had a shock or just woken up out something.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think Robyn has been a very good influence on Cal! He has changed a lot and they both deserve a healthy, happy baby. And we all know he'll be a brilliant dad, even though Taylor's Matilda doesn't exist in this reality. And yes, Ethan has been a very good influence on Honey! Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , I'm glad you're enjoying all the drama! If all goes well, this will be the best day of Cal and Robyn's lives - so far, anyway. It hasn't been quite such a good day for Honey and Ethan, but I don't think they mind about that too much. It's all about Cal and Robyn now! Thank you for your review.

* * *

"Oh my God!" said Honey, almost crying with happiness, as Lofty gently wiped tears from Alicia's cheeks.

"I'm nearly an uncle," whispered Ethan, squeezing Honey tightly.

"And I'm nearly an auntie!" Honey kissed him. "Looks like the baby takes after Robyn: your brother's never early for anything!"

"On the contrary: it's very typical of Cal to ruin my most special moments!" said Ethan, but he was smiling.

Honey looked worried, but then she realised he was joking. "I'd better order a bridesmaid dress for the baby."

"Don't you think you should wait and see it is a girl first?" said Ethan.

"Of course it's a girl," said Honey. "Babies born here always are."

 _Whatever it is, I hope it's healthy_ , thought Ethan. _Please let it be healthy. And please don't let Cal fall apart._

* * *

Much, much later, Cal appeared in the doorway.

He looked haggard. His hair was a mess; his forehead looked slick with perspiration and there were tears running down his face.

Beside Ethan, Honey gasped with horror and he wanted to comfort for, but he knew his brother needed him more. He rushed to Cal's side and held him tightly. "I'm here, Cal. I'm here." His eyes stung and he wanted to cry for his brother, but he knew he mustn't. Cal needed him to be strong.

"I… the baby… my daughter…" Cal's voice choked.

"I knew it was a girl!" exclaimed Honey. Then she put her hands over her mouth. "God, I'm so sorry!"

Ethan rubbed Cal's back. "I'm really sorry, Cal. I know that doesn't help. I know there's nothing I can say that will. But-"

"Hey, hold on!" said Cal, pushing Ethan away. "I never said… why do you think… everything's fine!"

Ethan looked at him in amazement. "But you look so awful and you're crying!"

"Yeah, cheers for that, Ethan!" Cal pulled away and Ethan realised he was smiling. "I'm exhausted because I've just watched my wife go through pain and suffering. I'm crying because I have a beautiful, wonderful, amazing daughter who's just as beautiful, wonderful and amazing as my wife!"

Honey gasped. "Congratulations!"

The other occupants of the room added their voices to hers.

"Oh, Cal, I'm so happy for you!" Ethan hugged him again. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Congratulations to you and Robyn and I can't wait to meet her."

"She's so tiny and precious," said Cal. "But she knows I'm her daddy. She knows."

"Of course she knows," said Ethan.

"She's very small," said Cal. "She's going up to NICU, but the midwife says the signs are positive."

"Do you know why she was born early?" asked Lily.

"Robyn had placental praevia," said Cal. He looked at Honey. "Her placenta was lower in the womb than it should have been. We were aware of this and we were due a scan in about a month's time. Obviously, the baby didn't want to wait."

"She sounds like her dad," said Ethan.

"I'm glad it was placental praevia," said Lily, and everyone looked at her. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it was good."

Dylan put his arm around his wife. "Clearly, Lily means she's glad it was one of those things that happens rather than something Robyn could blame herself for."

"I think she feels a bit to blame, but I know what you mean," said Cal, and managed to smile at Lily. "I feel the same way. Thanks, Lily."

Lofty spoke compassionately. "You know we're here if you need anything, Cal. Anything you or Robyn or the baby needs."

Cal nodded. "Thank you."

Alicia was looking tearful. "Does she have a name?"

"She's Matilda Robyn," said Cal. "And she's the most beautiful little girl in the world."

"I'm sure she is." Ethan's voice was choked. He held Cal tightly.

Cal stayed in his brother's embrace for a moment, then pulled away, sniffling. "I need to get back to my family. I just wanted you all to know."

"Thank you for coming to tell us," said Ethan.

"Please tell Robyn I am …" Lily stopped.

"Say what you feel," advised Dylan. "If it comes out wrong, it doesn't matter. Everyone here knows you only want the best for this baby."

Lily squeezed his hand gratefully and turned back to Cal. "Please tell Robyn I am glad the baby has been born safely and I will be thinking of them both."

"Thanks, Lily," said Cal. "I'll tell her."

"Sorry for asking this, Cal, but is Louise okay?" asked Noel.

Cal smiled. "Louise was brilliant. She was a big support to Robyn and she sorted me out when I panicked and tried to run away. You can be very proud of your wife, Noel. She's just getting cleaned up; she should be back with you soon."

"Thanks, Cal," said Noel. "I'm sorry things aren't too good at the moment."

"No, but there's hope," said Cal, trying to smile. "Most babies born at this time go on to live a normal life. She'll just need a bit of extra help to begin with. I appreciate the support, mate. Thanks."

Alicia sniffed. "Will you give them both our love?"

"Of course I will," said Cal. "Thank you."

Honey wiped her eyes. "I know it's sad and I'm so scared and I don't want anything bad to happen, but I still think it's the best news ever and I can't wait for my baby and Lily's baby and Ri… um, I mean and anyone else's baby to play with her."

"Thanks, little sis," said Cal. "I hope you and Ethan will be able to come and see the baby soon. There's just so much to sort out; so many people in the room already. But Uncle and Auntie Nibbles will be the first, okay? Now, I'd better get back to my family."

Ethan hurried out after him and hugged him again. "Sorry. I know you want to get back, but I just wanted to say I'm proud of you," he whispered into his ear. "And I know you can do this. You're going to be a great dad and a great husband. I know you are."

* * *

Honey tried not to cry as she looked at the tiny baby in the isolette. She was being fed Robyn's expressed milk through a tube and needed a ventilator to help her breathe. It shocked Honey to see her like that and she knew that even though Ethan, Cal and Robyn were used to seeing patients – even babies – in this condition, nothing could prepare you for seeing a member of your own family so ill.

Ethan was starting to look tearful too so Honey wrapped her arm tightly around his waist. He turned to look at her for a moment, his trembling lips settling into a smile.

"She's so beautiful, isn't she?" said Robyn softly. She was sitting in a wheelchair beside the isolette with Cal's hand on her shoulder. Robyn was gently stroking her daughter's arm.

Ethan nodded, clearly unable to speak.

"Very beautiful," said Honey. Without letting go of Ethan, she leaned over the incubator. "Hey, Matilda Robyn. I'm your Auntie Honey! If you need hugs or tea or snacks or advice, you know where to come. I don't always give good advice, but I can usually think of something."

"And I'm Uncle Ethan," said Ethan in a shaky voice. "I'll always be here for you. And… and if ever you can't sleep, you can always call me. I've got lots of boring books I can read to you."

* * *

Ethan wasn't sure what time it was. It felt like they'd been at the hospital for weeks. Most of their friends had gone home; only Cal, Robyn, Ethan and Honey were still at the hospital. Robyn was asleep and Honey seemed seconds away from joining her. Ethan sat by the bed in the on-call room, holding Honey's hand and watching her drooping lids. "It's okay. Just go to sleep, darling."

"Promise you'll wake me if you need me?" murmured Honey.

"I promise," said Ethan. He bent over the bed and kissed her. "Thank you for being so amazing today. I couldn't have managed without you."

Honey smiled up at him. "I love you, Ethan."

Ethan gave a sad smile. "This wasn't how I planned our wedding night at all."

"That's okay. It's not our wedding night, is it?" said Honey. She closed her eyes. "I know when it happens, it'll be great."

Ethan watched as she drifted off into sleep. He kissed her forehead lightly and tucked her in carefully, then he made his way to NICU, where Cal was standing beside the isolette, staring down at her. Matilda was doing very well for a baby who couldn't breathe or feed on her own. There had been no complications. Her fluid levels were on target. She hadn't required a blood transfusion. Her jaundice wasn't sufficiently severe for her to be placed under bilirubin lights. It was so much better than it could have been.

But that was of little comfort to any of them. They wouldn't be comforted until Matilda was finally allowed to go home. She might be allowed home earlier than other babies as her parents and uncle were all medically-trained, but that could still be weeks away.

Ethan watched as Cal pressed a hand to his mouth, suppressing a sob. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Ethan hurried to his side, putting his arm around him but not attempting to pull him into a hug. He didn't want to force Cal to look away from his baby, but as soon as Cal felt his brother's presence, he turned and buried his face in Ethan's shoulder. It was awkward as Cal was so much taller than Ethan, but Ethan didn't care.

He held his brother tightly. "I'm here, Cal."

"You should be on your honeymoon," sobbed Cal.

Ethan rubbed his back. "So should you. But some things are more important. Honey and I will be here at least until Matilda leaves hospital. We don't want to get married unless our whole family is there."

"But what if… if she doesn't leave the hospital?"

"I'm sure she will," said Ethan. "But whatever happens, Honey and I are here for you all three of you."

"I love her." Cal was crying uncontrollably now. It had been such a long, emotional day. "I love both of them."

Ethan didn't think he'd ever been more proud of him, but Cal still had limits, just like everyone else. "I know, Cal. And I'm sure they know that too. And they both love you too." Ethan paused. "And so do I."


	115. Chapter 115

_There will only be one more chapter after this - I'm so pleased it's still being read and enjoyed nearly 18 months after Honey left!_

 **InfinityAndOne** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you like Matilda Robyn's name. I agree that Cal and Robyn will be good parents. I won't be writing much about them as parents as this story is long enough, but I can see it working. I think Honey has been very good for Cal and Ethan's relationship.

 **Tanith Panic** , I think Cal has probably assisted in enough emergency births to know just how painful birth can be - and he'll be even more aware when it's Robyn! It's lucky Honey has grown up so much. I don't think she'd have been at all happy to put her wedding on hold a few months ago! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked the way Ethan introduced himself to his little niece. He'll be a good uncle! I think Lily was tying to be supportive too - I think she has trouble expressing herself in a non-professional context and she's often misunderstood. It's sad - I think she's lovely!

 **Is-there-somewhere-x** , I'm glad you liked the wedding twist - with the amount of weddings in this story (and with Ethan and Honey's still to come), I had to think of something to make it a bit different! Robyn's pregnancy came in very useful there, even if it did delay Honey and Ethan's wedding! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Honey looked back to check her bridesmaids were all still there. She really had quite a crowd. Robyn was gazing lovingly at Matilda, who now looked pink and healthy and was doing very well. Alicia was bubbling with excitement and very proud about having been given the honour of holding Rihanna. Louise was holding very firmly to Dervla's lead, having already discovered Dervla wasn't nearly as frightened of her as humans tended to be. Zoe and Rita seemed to have a secret and hadn't stopped whispering to each other all day. Not even Robyn had managed to get it out of them. As for Lily, she was stroking her bump and murmuring to it in a mixture of English and Chinese.

They all stopped talking and paid attention when the organ started playing the wedding march by Mandelson, which Honey liked much better than the one by Wagamama. Louise got the bridesmaids into position and Noel smiled down at Honey, offering her his arm.

Honey slipped her hand through it and smiled back. Last time, it hadn't felt quite real and as it turned out, it hadn't been real as far as the wedding was concerned. A full month had passed before Cal and Robyn had felt confident Matilda could safely be taken to the wedding and Honey and Ethan had both insisted on waiting as long as it took.

They couldn't get married without their little niece being there.

But this time, there was no feeling of unreality as Honey prepared to walk down the aisle. She felt happy. She knew this time nothing would go wrong.

Unless Cal had lost the rings again, but he'd become so much more responsible since becoming a dad. Actually, he'd been a lot more responsible since he'd realised he was in love with Robyn. He hadn't lost his cheeky, flirtatious side (though almost all his flirting was reserved for Robyn), but he'd got quite practicable and sufficient.

"Ready?" whispered Noel, his eyes shining with pride.

"Ready," said Honey.

They walked down the aisle. Ethan was standing at one end of it, watching. He looked very emotional, but he was still smiling. He looked so smart and handsome in his suit. His hair was shining and he'd cleaned his glasses extra well to make sure he could see Honey properly. He'd considered not wearing his glasses at all for the wedding, but Honey had told him not to be silly. "Ethan, you look gorgeous in your glasses and you know you can hardly see without them. I want to marry you and I love every part of you, including your glasses. If you don't have your glasses on, you'll look like someone else and I don't want to marry someone else."

Ethan had listened to her and told her she was absolutely right and he'd wear his glasses. "I won't be able to see you walking down the aisle without them anyway. That was so special last time. I'm so lucky I'll get to experience that all over again."

Ethan took a step forward as Honey came closer, holding out his hands. Honey reached out her free hand to him, keeping the other tucked into Noel's arm until she'd reached the altar. First the tips of their fingers touched, then the whole of their fingers, then their palms.

"You look so beautiful," whispered Ethan.

"And you look hot!" Honey whispered back.

She thought Cal might have heard because he gave a smothered laugh. Ethan blushed, but he didn't stop smiling.

They turned to face the celebrity, both hands clasped together now.

They said their vows. Honey didn't get any of the words wrong, including the long ones, and Ethan didn't stutter, despite his fears that he would. Honey would have loved him just as much if he had, but she didn't want anything to happen that would make Ethan feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. She wanted him to remember this moment forever.

Cal brought the rings over right on cue and Honey nearly cried as Ethan slid hers onto her finger.

She was nearly Ethan's wife.

Then, finally, the magic words were spoken and they really were husband and wife.

Apart from the actual consumption, of course.

Ethan held Honey's hand tightly in his. He leaned forward and lifted the veil almost reverently. He gazed into her eyes for a moment, then he placed his lips lightly on hers.

Honey had been planning on going for a full-on snog, but as soon as she felt the touch of Ethan's mouth, she knew that wouldn't be right at all. They kissed softly and gently as though it was their first kiss and in a way it was – it was their first ever kiss as a married couple.

Everyone cheered and clapped when they'd finished and Ethan went redder than ever.

He turned to Noel. "Thank you so much for letting me marry your daughter. I will do everything I can to make her happy. Every day."

Noel smiled. "Thank you for loving my daughter and for being the husband she deserves."

"I love you." Honey was nearly crying. She threw her arms around Noel. "I'm so happy and so lucky you're my dad. And I'm not just saying that because you're happy for me and Ethan. I'm happy because you're you and I love you so much."

When Honey turned back to Ethan, he was wiping away tears.

When he'd finished, he offered Honey his arm and they walked down the aisle together. Honey looked from side to side as she walked, looking at her friends and family. She was so lucky.

She remembered the day she'd first arrived in Holby, not knowing what to expect. From Noel; from anyone. And she'd found not only the dad she'd always dreamed of having but the most perfect man in the world and so many good friends. Not to mention the best ever brother-in-law, sister-in-law and niece. And whatever Max and Zoe were. Step-brother- and-sister-in-law maybe?

Honey and Ethan walked through the doors. Then Ethan stopped and turned towards her, catching her in his arms and holding her so tightly. "I love you, Mrs Hardy."

"I love you too, Dr Hardy," said Honey.

* * *

The reception was lovely. The speeches had been made and Cal's wasn't nearly as embarrassing as it might have been. As Cal and Robyn had missed their wedding reception, Ethan and Honey had insisted they should share theirs as planned, so Ethan gave his speech too. Noel and Max gave their father/brother of the bride speeches too and there was a lot of laughter and tears.

After the speeches, Ethan took Honey onto the floor for their first dance. Honey had been very keen to dance a salsa, so they'd gone to classes together and after a disastrous first class in which Ethan had got absolutely everything wrong, he actually wasn't too bad now. Of course, he forgot some of his steps and had to improvise, but Honey insisted no-one would have noticed.

Afterwards, Cal came over and slung his arm around his little brother's shoulders. "Ethan… that was good! Maybe we are related after all!"

Then Cal took Robyn onto the dancefloor and blatantly showed off with his first dance, but Ethan didn't mind. Especially not when he lifted Robyn above his head like in _Dirty Dancing_ (Honey loved that film and as she said, it was American so that proved there were some foreign films she liked) and Robyn whispered in wonder that she didn't think any man would ever be able to lift her like that.

"You're light as a feather," said Cal lovingly and he probably meant it too. "And I bet even Ethan could lift you, but your my wife and I love you and I'm not letting him try."

Everyone danced energetically around the floor with a very excited Rihanna and moving considerably more gently with Matilda.

"They're both so adorable," said Honey. "Wouldn't it be amazing if Rihanna and Matilda fell in love and got married? Then our baby can marry Lily and Dylan's baby? Then Lily and Dylan would be related to all of us too!" Her eyes widened. "If Dylan's sister married our niece, would that make Dylan our nephew?"

Ethan smiled and bent to kiss her. "Something like that."

* * *

After the dancing, they all sat down to eat. The wedding cakes were delicious, though one of the tiers of Robyn's cake was a Victoria sponge and Honey was very careful to make sure Ethan didn't eat any.

"He can't eat sponge cake. It's got jam in!" Honey said earnestly, every time the wedding cake was passed a bit too close to Ethan.

"I'm really sorry, Ethan," said Robyn. "Cal didn't say. But you can eat the other tiers, can't you?"

"The other tiers are fine. And delicious," said Ethan with a smile.

Alicia looked at him sympathetically. "That must be awful not being able to eat jam."

"Oh, it's okay," said Ethan. He smiled. "After all, I can still have Honey."

Cal looked shocked. "Not at the _table_ , Ethan!"

Ethan looked confused for a moment, then he blushed horribly and looked like he wanted to run awa, though he managed to stutter out: "Considering what you've done with our table at home, Caleb, you'd be in no position to object even if we did…. um… maybe I shouldn't have started that sentence. I'm so sorry."

Max gave Ethan a sympathetic look, then suddenly to his feet, attracting everyone's attention. Honey was very grateful to him, though she wondered what excuse he could give. But then she realised Max wasn't doing this entirely for Ethan.

"Me, Zoe and Rita have an announcement to make," he said. "We thought we'd tell you today, before Honey and Ethan went off on honeymoon." He looked at Zoe and Rita. "Would now be okay?"

Rita glanced at Zoe, who nodded. They stood up too.

Cal was staring at them in shock. He probably thought they were having one of those manger a troy things where you had a threesome, only it was a relationship. If that was what he was thinking, Honey was sure he'd got it completely wrong.

Rita reached out her hand to Iain. "You too. You're part of this, Iain. There's no way we could have done this without you."

Zoe took Max's hand and held it tightly. "I've always wanted children and now seemed like a good time. But I can't have children myself. Max and I considered adoption and we discussed it with Rita and Iain, but then they had a different idea." She paused, her eyes filling. "Max and I are going to have a baby through IVF – and Rita has offered to carry it for us."


	116. Chapter 116

_This really is the final chapter and it's only come 106 chapters later than I expected it to. Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows, favourites or just for reading it. I hope you've enjoyed seeing how it could have worked out for Ethan and Honey if she hadn't been so silly - even if I did end up getting rid of some of the best storylines in Series 30! I hope you don't mind the big time jump at the end._

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , I'm afraid we won't find out in this story whether Rita is able to carry the baby for Zoe or not, but I'm imagining it will be a successful pregnancy. Maybe someone else will write a story about it! Or maybe I'll write a sequel one day. If you wrote one about Jessica and Zoe, I'd read it. Thank you for your review.

 **InfinityAndOne** , it is nice seeing them all happy for once, isn't it? It doesn't seem to happen very often! Zoe and Robyn didn't get their happy weddings in Casualty, though at least they're both happy in my story. I can imagine Max staying at home with the baby while Zoe goes back to work. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I'm glad you worked out who Wagamama is. I wasn't sure many people would. Not even I knew who'd composed the bridal march until quite recently. I don't think the real Ethan ever means to be saucy, which means he can say the naughtiest things when even Cal the bad lad might hesitate! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Alicia screamed and put her hand over her mouth. "Sorry. But I'm so happy for you! You'll be amazing parents. I know you will. You did know that was a happy scream, didn't you?"

Zoe smiled. "Of course I knew, Alicia. And thank you."

Lofty smiled adoringly at Alicia and gave her a hug. "I think the whole of Holby could hear how happy you are."

"But it won't be just quite yet," said Rita. "Because…" She waited until everyone was looking her way. "…Iain and I are expecting a baby of our own. So we'll wait till a while after the birth."

"I knew it!" shouted Honey. "I knew you were pregnant. I'm so happy for all of you."

Everyone congratulated Zoe, Max, Rita and Iain. Honey left her seat so she could hug them all and then everyone else joined in too. She was so happy Zoe and Max had found a way of being parents.

"Are you okay?" asked Ethan, taking Honey's hand as they sat down again.

"Of course I am!" said Honey. "I'm married to you and I'm so happy!"

Ethan leaned close to her. "But I know how much you wanted to be a mother."

"And I will be," said Honey. "We're going to get started on that tonight, I hope."

Ethan blushed. "I hope so too."

They tore their eyes away from each other only when they heard a crash. Lofty had tripped over Dylan's chair-leg and landed on the floor at Alicia's feet.

"Are you okay, babe?" asked Alicia anxiously.

Lofty nodded, but he didn't get up. "I'm fine. But while I'm down here… Alicia, I love you. You make me forget I'm not the best nurse in the world. You even make me feel like I'm not clumsy. How can I be when you make me feel like I'm floating through the air? Alicia, will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course I'll marry you!" screamed Alicia, and burst into tears.

She wasn't the only one.

* * *

The car was waiting. It was covered in streamers and tin cans, just like Honey had dreamed of. Ethan was worried about causing damage to other cars, so they'd made sure the streamers were very short.

Honey was holding her bouquet ready for her bridesmaids to catch. Or rather for Rita or Alicia to catch. The last thing she wanted was for any of the others to get married again.

She closed her eyes, lifted her bouquet above her head and threw it backwards as hard as she could.

"I caught it!" shouted Jack in delight.

Jez looked terrified and excited all at once. "So, who's the lucky guy?"

"You'll have to wait and see who I ask, won't you?" said Jack, looking very pleased with himself.

Honey hugged Ethan tightly. She loved it when her friends were happy. "Do you think Mrs Beauchamp and Jacob will get married too?"

"I think that depends on Mrs Beauchamp," said Ethan. "If she wants to marry Jacob, he'll have very little choice in the matter. If she doesn't, he probably doesn't have a chance. But I hope they will. Being married is so wonderful."

Honey kissed him.

"Hey! Save it for the honeymoon!" said Cal. They'd only been kissing, but Ethan still blushed.

Honey hugged and kissed everyone goodbye. The last person she hugged was Noel. She didn't let go until Ethan said apologetically that they probably should be going.

"Bye, Dad," whispered Honey as Ethan helped her into the car. "Bye, everyone! See you when I'm pregnant!"

" _Honey!_ " said Ethan, but although he was blushing again, he didn't seem angry or upset. He picked up the bits of dress that were hanging out of the door and tucked them in securely, leaning in to kiss her.

The rest of their life was beginning.

* * *

"What a big bed!" exclaimed Honey.

Ethan laughed as she launched herself through the air and landed facedown on it.

Honey rolled onto her back and smiled at him. "I'm never going on honeymoon again and I might be pregnant by this time tomorrow. I'm going to enjoy it while I still can!"

"That's a very good point," said Ethan, who couldn't have stopped smiling if he'd wanted to. He loved to see her happy.

He just loved her.

Honey's wide smile was replaced by a more sultry one. She flicked her hair so it lay partly across her face. "If I'm going to be pregnant by this time tomorrow, don't you think you should get started?"

"I, um, yes," said Ethan. "Definitely. Yes."

Honey kicked her legs slightly so her dress rode up, displaying shapely ankles. "You have done this before, you know, Ethan."

"But not since we got married," said Ethan. His heart was thudding and he felt slightly faint.

"Ethan, since we've been married, we've either been in a room with all our friends or driving a car," said Honey. "Even I know that wouldn't be the best idea." Honey smiled again. This time, her smile was more loving than sexy.

Ethan walked towards the bed.

"Can you take my shoes off first?" said Honey. "My feet are killing me."

Ethan moved to the foot of the bed and climbed on to it, lifting Honey's feet into his lap. He removed one shoe, then the other. He lifted one foot in each hand, stroking them with his thumbs.

"Ethan!" shrieked Honey. "They don't bend that way! Didn't they teach you anything at medical school?"

"Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry!" said Ethan. He put her feet down again and then bent down, kissing one ankle, then the other. Honey moaned loudly, but it was only a couple of seconds before Ethan stopped worrying about being heard and enjoyed the fact he was making his wife – his _wife_! - happy.

He pushed her dress up a little higher and started to kiss every part of her legs he could reach.

"Don't stop, Ethan," sighed Honey.

"I'll never stop, Honey," promised Ethan. "I'll never stop loving you."

* * *

 _Nine months later_

Ethan had known what it would be like, but it was so different when his wife was the one in pain.

"I love you, Honey. You're doing so well," he said as he sponged her face. "I'm right here and I'm not leaving."

"Make it stop!" shouted Honey.

"It will stop soon, darling," said Ethan.

"I want it to stop NOW!" roared Honey.

Ethan rubbed her back soothingly. "It's okay, Honey. I know it hurts, but-"

"What do you know?" yelled Honey. "Have you ever had a baby?"

"Well… no… but -"

"Then you don't know anything!" Honey put her hands over her face and burst into tears. "I hate this, Ethan!"

Ethan held her against his chest. "I know, darling. But you can do this. You've been so strong, Honey, and I'm so proud of you. You've been through so much, but whatever was thrown at you, you were always magnificent. And I know you're going to be magnificent again now."

"I don't want to have a baby!" screamed Honey.

Ethan knew she didn't mean it. "That's fine, sweetheart. We'll give it to Zoe and Max, and save Rita the trouble of carrying their baby."

Honey lifted her head and stared at him in disbelief. "You want to get rid of my baby?" She cried harder.

"No… no, of course not… I didn't mean…" Ethan tried to hug her. "I didn't mean it, Honey. I was just trying to be supportive. Of course I want our baby. I want it more than anything I the world. I love our baby so much and I can't wait to be a dad."

Honey leaned against him, still crying. "I'm scared, Ethan. I'm so scared."

"I know, sweetheart, but you can do this," said Ethan. "I know you can." He wiped her tears. "You can do this, Honey. And I'll be right here. Okay?"

"Okay," said Honey shakily. "I love you, Ethan."

"I love you too, Honey. And I always will."

"Honey?" That was the midwife's voice. "We're ready for you to push now."

Honey nodded and started to push. Ethan didn't let go of her the whole time. He breathed with her; panted with her; at times it even felt as though he pushed with her, though he knew Honey would argue if he even suggested such a thing out loud.

And then, it happened. They were parents.

"Is that my baby?" said Honey disbelievingly. "I've really had a baby?"

"Congratulations, Dr and Mrs Hardy. You have a little girl."

"We've got a baby girl!" Ethan was crying as he watched the baby being handed to Honey. She held it tightly and securely, gazing down at her in wonder.

"Ethan, look what we just made!" said Honey. She kissed the baby's bald head. "Ethan! There's a bit missing out of her head!"

"That's okay, Honey. That's normal for a baby," said Ethan. "It's called the anterior fontanelle. It's located at the junction of the sagittal suture, coronal suture and frontal suture and-"

"We've got a baby!" said Honey wonderingly.

Ethan smiled and cuddled closer to them both. "Yes. We've got a baby." The full significance of it hit him. "We've got a baby!"

"Can you see if you can get her to feed, Honey?" asked the midwife.

"Let me help you." Ethan took the baby from her while Honey undid the front of her nightgown. "Hey, little baby. I'm your daddy! I hope I can be a good daddy. I'm afraid a lot of the time you're likely to find me extremely annoying and rather embarrassing. That's what your Uncle Cal says and he does occasionally know what he's talking about. But you're going to be fine because you've got your mummy and she's the most wonderful, beautiful, incredible woman in the world and she makes me so happy." Ethan smiled down into the crinkled little face. "And I know you're going to be just like her."

"Ethan, I'm ready!" said Honey.

Ethan put the baby back into her arms. "There you go, sweetheart. She's so beautiful, Honey, isn't she? Oh, and she's clever! She knows exactly what she's doing. She's really rather good at that. It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No," said Honey dreamily, her eyes misty. "You know I always scream if it hurts."

Ethan blushed. "Yes, um, well, um…"

But his embarrassment didn't last. He watched, transfixed, as Honey fed their baby. He realised his wife was even more incredible than he'd thought she was. And he was so lucky.

He wasn't sure how much later it was when Cal, Robyn and Lily arrived, having left nine-month old Matilda with Dylan, Iain, Rita, Rihanna, and two of the newest ED babies: Ciaran Keogh and Melanie Dean.

"She's beautiful!" said Robyn. "What's her name?"

Ethan looked at Honey and an unspoken agreement passed between them.

"Vanessa Lily," said Honey. "Nessa for short."

Lily put her hands over her mouth and so nearly cried.

"Vanessa means butterfly," said Honey. "Well, kind of. And Nessa's our little butterfly."

"More like a caterpillar," said Cal.

"No. Our little butterfly," said Ethan firmly, leaning close to his daughter and his wife. "And she's going to fly."


End file.
